The next issue of Fishwrap Magazine is coming soon. Please send along
any submissions or advertising requests you have as soon as possible.
Thoom!

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

Issue #52: "Two Fighter Perspectives"
[November 30, 2002]

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Interviews with Gurgi and Noivad

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* The Order of the Golden Maha
http://www.guildcraftfurniture.com/ogm/
* Clan of the Purple Tor
* Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan
http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Grocha
Tailor with a Training Ledger
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

Rincewind a Squire
No Stone from FMOCR
Chaining Zorton
Update to Nohurt's Scrolls
EHC Visits Noth
Clam the Thoom Joins ThoomCare
Kismia's Island: North Side
A Visit to the Forge
Eyes of Puddleby Updates
Portals Again Cluster at West Wall
Spiders and Bears
Fallen Dwarf Washes Ashore on Beach
Sylvans in the Snow
Ethereal Tools Workshop
Hor Gets Ethereal
Who Rescues the Rescuers?

for more information on the above stories, see TMN at:

http://www.thoomcare.com/

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

This month we have interviews with the sheriff of Puddleby, Noivad,
and with renowned fighter Gurgi. Is there someone you'd like to see
interviewed in Fishwrap? Send me a message @ thoomcare.com.

In clan news, ThoomCare is proud to announce the newest member of the
clan: Clam the Thoom.

  - Para

#####
INTERVIEW WITH NOIVAD
BY PARAMEDIC

Para: 1) Are you still sheriff? Why or why not?

Noivad: Yes. I'm still serving out my term serving up justice. No one
has challenged me for the title either.

Para: 2) What do you think about the recent mystic controversy?

Noivad: I suppose you're speaking of the promotions ruckus and maybe
the clear abuse of the court system. The court situation is easy: I
propose that any individual found to be using the courts to purposely
disrupt a hunt or a quest be given the maximum sentence allowable, so
the community sends the message that such abuse is unacceptable, and
that anyone who still wants to do it has to pay a heavy price.

It's a shame that in a profession that values the pursuit of knowledge
and wisdom, mystics can't seem to realize that working together to
advance their knowledge is much more effective than working alone, and
much more effective than thwarting each other's studies and attempts
to gain items to study. But instead you have this political bullpucky
and in-fighting that is corrupting the very basis for a guild. It
seems to me that wisdom and knowledge of their members is severely
lacking. I can name a few apprentices and journeymen that are much
better than their station. Imagine if we fighters had such a guild
where promotion was determined by the top fighters, and those at the
top were too busy fighting for power by thwarting other top fighters'
hunts (clan wars and individual vendettas not withstanding).

If a clear leader doesn't rise to unite the guild, it seems logical
that the guild will split into two, with many lower-level and some
upper-level mystics forming a more democratic guild. (Sorry if that
answer was too long.)

Para: 3) You've been spotted out in the passes frequently in recent
times. What are you doing out there?

Noivad: Well, there's only so much challenge for a person of 5th
circle to find hunting alone without it being a clear-cut suicide
mission. I used to run through the valley solo, but that's simply
become too dangerous lately. That, and I've noticed more creatures
throwing rocks and such. So, I'm practicing dodging rocks as well. If
you get trapped in GMV you fall very quickly. Given such an incentive,
it pushes me to train until I'm virtually untrappable by a decent
quantity of beasts. Now it's coming down to luck, which you can never
out-train. I've found, however, that the greater the experience one
has at doing something (like not getting trapped) the less one is
likely to get in a situation where luck can take a good swipe at you.

Para: 4) Who's the biggest threat to Puddleby? Undine? Darshak? Orga? Why?

Noivad: If it wasn't for the very nature of this island chain, I'd say
the emperor. All you mentioned pose very real threats. If I had to
pick one of the above, I'd say the Darshak, because they're shown the
ability to grow and adapt to our training style faster than any of the
others, and they're been able to almost kill everyone in town a few
times in the last few months. I'm also worried about ethereal entities
coming through the unstable portals we make and destroying the town. I
think our greatest threat is always around the corner, and if it's
not, then boredom is our worst enemy.

Para: 5) What do you see in the future for Puddleby? Working with the
'Brions? A new altar and maybe a library at the South Forest Outpost?

Noivad: I think eventually people will see the necessity of a stable
Ethereal Plane portal. Mystic research could once again shed light on
the nature of the planes, and shed some light on why the South Forest
mirror is misaligned, and how to realign it. Also, if we could figure
out how to build our own portals the benefit would be great. Right
now, the only way to start this process is to deal with the `Brion
brothers. They seemed to have softened their tone towards us, but just
because we're on better terms with them, it doesn't mean we shouldn't
be on guard in case of a trap.

Para: It is a long-standing tradition at the conclusion of a Fishwrap
interview that you are allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question. You
may ask your ONE (1) question now.

Noivad: Do thooms have gills?

Para: According to the Encyclopaedia Thoomeria, "The Thoom are
semi-amphibious humanoids, averaging around five feet tall as adults.
Thoom eggs hatch in nursery ponds, and baby Thoomlets can breathe in
either air or water for the first five years of life. Around age five,
their gills transform into throatsacs, and the ability to breathe
underwater is lost. From age five through adulthood, they can still
stay underwater for extended periods of time, however, by inflating
their throatsacs with air before submerging."

Encyclopaedia Thoomeria:
http://www.thoomcare.com/para/encyclo-thoom.html

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in all languages!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
INTERVIEW WITH GURGI
BY PARAMEDIC

Para: 1) What are the most important issues for fighters today?

Gurgi: I don't think the issues for fighters in general have changed
really. They still have a variety of priorities according to their
clan and their philosophy.

There are still those whose sole purpose is to explore the unknown and
unlock the secrets. Many of these are still searching vigorously for
signs of Trillbane and Gaeyl, and the Orga Stronhold.

For the high-level rank whores, Kismia's Island has become the most
popular hunting grounds. Despite the heavy time demands, many go there
several times a week. For those with less time on their hands, the
Valley and Melabrion's Island, as well as the Cove on KI are popular
spots for short hunts. Though I have not personally been to Noth in
quite some time, I know that many groups still enjoy this area as well.

In the area of training, many fighters train in the bloodblade or fell
blade these days. I have also noticed that trainers like Swengus (or
the equivalent Balthus and Regia) are more popular now days as well. I
believe the discovery of monsters with unbelievable regeneration
abilities has lead to this popularity of faster and more numerous
swings. The accompanying increase in popularity of darkus has not been
as marked as the swengus craze, but it has caused fighters to become
more concerned with tags as monsters seem to fall faster and faster
despite their high level of regeneration.

Even more so now than in the past, fighters rarely benefit from
fighting alone. Especially in the high-level areas, it is standard
practice to bring the maximum five healers, and indeed it is rare for
a party to not have at least 3 healers if they are not forced to (when
not enough healers are available). This is due mostly to the issue of
horus. In every high-level area, there are monsters that can cause a
person to fall quite badly, and there are scavengers now that can tear
a fallen body to pieces with startling speed.

I am sure many other fighters have completely different issues on
their minds, so it would be difficult for me to generalize.

Para: 2) What do you think about the recent mystic controversy? How do
you see the role of mystics in Puddleby?

Gurgi: I must say that I am quite disgusted with the way mystics fight
like over the teleport stones. It seems to me that actively preventing
the success of an FMOCR is essentially equivalent to aiding the Orga
and it certainly never helps the mystic that ruins the raid. Every
stone that is not taken by a mystic is one more stone for the Orga.
Furthermore, it is quite silly for the mystics to prevent the most
qualified individual -- indeed the EXPERT -- in the area of orga
stones from acquiring one for study. This is indeed quite a foolish move.

I was quite shocked that exiles that supposedly have brains were
somehow convinced that a mystic who was clearly an official full
mystic and had been one for years was a fraud. Nowhere have I seen any
evidence of any such fraud. Indeed, if such a fraud had occurred it is
puzzling that the accuser would wait several YEARS before making his
accusations, and furthermore, that in all that time, the accuser was
apparently not able to acquire one single shred of proof! Furthermore,
it is ridiculous to imagine that the mystic council would fail to
notice a fraudulent promotion considering they promote so very rarely.
Surely a person could not waltz in and fool the council into thinking
they had only FORGOTTEN that they had promoted him. It should have
been obvious to even the most dimwitted individual on the jury that
such charges, backed by no proof whatsoever, had no merit.

As for the role mystics play in Puddleby: I believe they have some
specialized skills that can be useful on occasion. Their ability to
boost accuracy is quite useful when facing a monster with extremely
high defense. Their ability to use teleport stones is becoming much
more useful now that they have learned how to use the stones. I'm sure
the exploration-whores feel this is the best discovery since the town
gate. It is a pity that they foolishly refuse to allow their most
qualified expert in this area to have a stone. I suppose not all
guilds can be run as wisely as the fighters' guild.

Mystics make excellent sandbags for plugging holes in battle as well
and they of course can open doors as always. Some day they may learn
something more about the Ethereal Plane too, but their skills in this
area are not yet very high.

Para: 3) Are the 'Brion brothers trustworthy? What do you think of the
recent discovery of a fallen Tenebrion?

Gurgi: I do not believe the `Brions are trustworthy. Any time it looks
like we won't give them something they want, they threaten to attack
us by force. It would be foolish to deem them trustworthy when it is
so clearly obvious that they will only be nice to us as long as we
give them whatever they want. While I have no proof that they are
actively seeking to destroy us, they certainly would not hesitate to
do so were they to decide that eliminating us would benefit them even
slightly.

Para: 4) Who's the biggest threat to Puddleby? Undine? Darshak? Orga? Why?

Gurgi: The Darshak are definitely the biggest threat to Puddleby. They
nearly wiped us out in the Ripture War, and I have no doubt they will
try again. Their powers are great and terrible, and more so than the
Orga, they represent true evil. While the Orga certainly want to drive
us from their lands, they are only our enemy due to their territorial
natures. The Darshak, however, have much more sinister motives.

Para: 5) What do you see in the future for Puddleby?  A new altar and
maybe a library at the South Forest Outpost?

Gurgi: The most exciting thing I see in the future is the discovery of
Gaeyl and the subsequent discovery of new paths and places to explore.
A library and altar may indeed be built in the Outpost, but permits
take quite a while to be processed so it's impossible to know when.

Para: It is a long-standing tradition at the conclusion of a Fishwrap
interview that you are allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question. You
may ask your ONE (1) question now.

Gurgi: What answers would you give to the questions you asked me?

Para: 1) Bloodblades. 2) Troubling. Increasingly important. 3) No.
He's getting careless, endangering many. 4) Probably the Darshak. But
we must never forget that the Orga are armed with a catapult. 5) More
ethereal troubles.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/
You can subscribe there and also read all the back issues.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Fishwrap is always looking for new stories. If you have news you think
belongs in Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic mail at the Puddleby Post
Office (mailbox #1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com.

Advertising rates for Fishwrap:
Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the fishwrapmagazine
group.

   File        : /quicktime/fallen_tenebrion.mov
   Uploaded by : paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>
   Description : Thoom Bones provided these images taken after Tenebrion was
raised

You can access this file at the URL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/quicktime/fallen_tenebrion.\
mov

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

Issue #51: "Mystics: Behind the Sparkle"
[October 16, 2002]

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Interviews with Aravir, Callia, and Rincewind
* Himitsu's Report on Clubs

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Order of Akara
http://www.orderofakara.com/
* The Order of the Golden Maha
http://www.guildcraftfurniture.com/ogm/
* Clan of the Purple Tor
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

Vermine Problems
Drake in Northwest Forest
Counting Puddleby
Hunting with Hor
Scarmis Attack
A Valuable Valley Panther
Stuck in the Library?
Newbielympics Approaching
Pods and Myrms
Scarmis Invasion
Kirth Gets Caduceus
Hunting in North
Kismia's Island Changes
Red Quill Scrolls Return
Chaos and Fairgrounds
Sword of Souls Changes
Norm Needs Rock Advice
Beyond Wisher's Gate
Eyes of Puddleby Moves

for more information on the above stories, see TMN at:

http://www.thoomcare.com/

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

The controversy surrounding Manticore and Neige as well as the recent
public announcement by the Mystic Council regarding a trade of orga
stones have turned Puddleby's attention toward the mystic community in
unprecedented ways. This issue of Fishwrap contains interviews with
two mystics (Callia and Rincewind) and one former mystic (Aravir). All
three offer significant insight into the issues of the day.

  - Para

#####
INTERVIEW WITH ARAVIR
BY PARAMEDIC

Paramedic says, "Fishwrap is pleased to present an interview with
Aravir"
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions to a Fishwrap interview, along
with some followups."
(Aravir nods)
Paramedic says, "Let's start with the question on many people's
minds."
Paramedic asks, "#1) Why did you decide to leave the path of being a
mystic?"
Aravir says, "Because of the Mystic Council's action in the Neige
matter."
Aravir says, "By refusing to make any statement, they tacitly approved
of what he did"
Paramedic asks, "You were unhappy with their decision there?"
Aravir says, "Indeed, very unhappy."
Aravir says, "The Mystic Council sets the standards of morality for
the entire Guild"
Aravir says, "Both by what they do... and what they choose not to do."
Paramedic asks, "What bothered you about what Neige did?"
Aravir says, "His action harmed many exiles who were participating in
the raid..."
Aravir says, "it gave aid and comfort to our enemies, the Orga..."
Aravir says, "and it harmed the standing of the Mystic Guild in the
community."
Paramedic asks, "Was this a difficult decision for you?"
Aravir says, "Not difficult, but unfortunate."
Aravir says, "I really liked being a mystic, and didn't want to give
it up."
Aravir says, "However, once it was clear the Council approved of what
happened, there really was no choice for me."
Aravir says, "The Council set a moral standard for the Guild that..."
Aravir says, "I simply could not lower myself to be associated with."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think the Mystic Council is likely to change?"
Aravir says, "No."
Paramedic says, "You seem pretty definite."
Aravir says, "Alas, yes."
Aravir says, "I can conceive of situations that might change things,
but they're all very unlikely."
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about other mystics leaving the
guild?"
Aravir says, "It's a sad thing."
(Paramedic nods)
Aravir says, "I've been surprised by it, a bit."
Paramedic says, "Let's move on to question #2, about what caused this
whole mess...."
(Aravir nods)

Paramedic asks, "#2) What do you think of Manticore?"
Aravir says, "I finally met him in town, just a few days ago"
Paramedic asks, "how did that go?"
Aravir says, "He seemed nice enough. I saw no sign that he was insane,
or unstable, or dangerous..."
Aravir says, "as various other mystics have claimed."
Aravir says, "Of course, I only talked to him for a short time."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think he deserves to be a mystic?"
Aravir says, "That's not really up to me. The Full Mystics who
promoted him did, though."
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Paramedic asks, "Why do you think the council does not like Manticore
now?"
Aravir says, "I'm not going to second guess who deserves to be a
mystic and who doesn't."
Aravir says, "Every time I've asked a Full Mystic about it..."
Aravir says, "they say, `He's insane,' and then..."
Aravir says, "start talking about all sorts of crazy things that make
no sense to me."
Aravir asks, "Maybe they're all projecting their own mental problems
on him?"
Aravir says, "Although I did hear a rumour..."
Aravir says, "from a few different sources..."
Aravir says, "that Manticore had been trying to get the stone to trade
to the Brions."
(Paramedic listens)
Aravir says, "If true, that would have gotten in the way of the
Council's deal."
Paramedic says, "That leads to question #3 actually."
(Aravir nods)

Paramedic asks, "#3) what do you think of the Council's recent
announcement about trying to make a deal with the 'Brions?"
Aravir says, "I'm opposed to it. To this specific deal, that is."
Aravir says, "I'm not necessarily opposed to any deal."
Aravir says, "However, I don't believe that either the 'Brions or the
Council can be trusted..."
(Paramedic listens)
Aravir says, "or will act in the interests of all exiles."
Paramedic says, "Hmmm"
Aravir says, "I'm worried about what's in the deal that the Council
isn't telling us."
Paramedic asks, "What do you say to those who say that we need some
sort of action with the Brions? That Puddleby is falling stagnant?"
Aravir says, "Well, I don't believe that we _need_ some sort of
action, but..."
Aravir says, "I will point out that telling them "no thanks" is also
an action."
Aravir says, "As is negotiating a new deal with all of Puddleby
represented."
Paramedic asks, "So you think Puddleby should not trust the Mystic
Council's motives?"
Aravir says, "Not at present. They haven't given us reason to trust
them... but they have given us ample reason to distrust them."
Paramedic asks, "And you think Manticore ended up in the middle of
this mess?"
Aravir says, "If the rumour about his motives for the raid are true,
then it seems likely. But I haven't been able to confirm the rumour
yet."
Aravir says, "I only mention it because I've heard it from three
independent sources."
Paramedic asks, "What do you think the future holds for Manticore? Is
he going to be stuck in limbo?"
Aravir says, "I hope not. I think he could make a valuable addition to
Puddleby."
Aravir says, "There has been talk of a second Mystic Council..."
Aravir says, "which would almost require his participation to go
anywhere."
Paramedic says, "Ah, the schism theory"
(Aravir nods)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think that could happen? A split in the
council?"
Aravir says, "It's more likely than the existing Council reforming..."
Aravir says, "but still not likely."
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Aravir says, "I don't know of three Full Mystics who would be willing
to do it."
Paramedic asks, "So is mystic life in Puddleby stuck in a rut?"
Aravir says, "Basically, yes. It's in a rut because the Council wants
it that way."
Aravir says, "It is a Guild, after all--and what we're seeing is what
happens when a Guild operates with no external restraints."

Paramedic asks, "#4) Do you think the Orgas or the Darshak are
involved with the 'Brions in some way?"
Aravir says, "Well, I've heard that one or more of the 'Brions have
used Darshak in the past..."
Aravir says, "but unfortunately the sources I need to research are
presently unavailable."
Aravir says, "I don't think there's any involvement with the Orga,
though."
Paramedic asks, "How is your research going these days?"
Aravir says, "A bit slow lately. I've been preoccupied with rat
hunting."
(Paramedic nods)
Aravir says, "I think it will be picking up a bit soon, though."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think becoming a fighter will hurt your
research?"
Aravir says, "No, actually if anything it will help it."
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
Aravir says, "I'll be able to reach more sites without an escort."
Paramedic says, "Ah, that makes sense."
Paramedic says, "That leads us to question 5"

Paramedic asks, "#5) How do you like being a fighter?"
Aravir says, "Actually, it's not much different from when I was a
mystic. I'm weaker now, and I spend more time hunting to regain my
lost knowledge, but..."
Aravir says, "overall the biggest difference is that I can't make
sparklies in town any more."
Paramedic says, "Heh"
Aravir says, "Even as an apprentice, I spent lots of time solo
hunting."
Aravir is a Sylvan, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of Bane of the Black Heart.
He is holding a rapier and a wooden shield, and he is wearing a
sunstone, a wooden parrot, what looks like a fedora, a shirt, a pair
of pants and a pair of shoes.
Aravir has a phial of good karma.
Paramedic asks, "How long have you been in Bane of the Black Heart?"
Aravir ponders, "Hmm"
(Aravir trains his weak memory)
Aravir says, "I've been involved, more or less, since before it was
founded, but I didn't join until..."
Aravir says, "the 29th of Winter, last year."
Paramedic asks, "How did clan members feel about your change from
mystic to fighter?"
Aravir says, "They've been very supportive."
Paramedic says, "That's great"
Paramedic asks, "So in general you feel good about the decision to
become a fighter?"
Aravir says, "Well, I wouldn't say I feel "good," because of the
circumstances that led to it, but..."
Aravir says, "I don't regret it at all."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "Let me remind our readers here to check out your
scroll, which is an excellent resource."
Aravir exclaims, "Thank you!"
Paramedic says, "I'm glad to see you continue to work on it."
(Aravir smiles)
Paramedic says, "We've now reached the end of the interview...."
Paramedic says, "but in keeping with Fishwrap tradition, you may now
ask the Thoom ONE (1) question."
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE) question."
Aravir says, "Hmm"
Aravir asks, "What's your favorite brand of fish oil?"
Paramedic says, "That's a good question."
Paramedic says, "I like the cod variety best...."
(Aravir nods)
Paramedic says, "but there's been some flounder oil in lately, from a
small oil maker outside of town that is quite delicious."
(Aravir makes a note)
Paramedic says, "In general, fish oil makes life more tolerable here
in Puddleby"
Paramedic says, "It's too bad non-Thooms do not appreciate it fully."
Aravir says, "Well, perhaps it's an acquired taste."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in all languages!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
INTERVIEW WITH CALLIA
BY PARAMEDIC

Para: #1) Many exiles were surprised to see the usually quiet Mystic
Council make a public announcement about gathering orga stones to
trade with the 'Brion brothers. Do you think this signifies a change
in policy for the Mystic Council? Will there be other such
announcements?

Callia: The Council made a public announcement for several reasons (to
my understanding). First of all, the deal in question was one which
had been on the table for over 8 years. Not only that, but many
healers and fighters have been strongly in favor of it. Gathering the
Strange Stones requires the assistance of many exiles. It's my
understanding that the Council wished to publicize the deal, because
of the previously expressed desires of interested healers and
fighters, and to make known the need for the mystics undertaking the
task to be supported.

As for the policies of the Council and what the future may hold: I
cannot speak for the Council, I do not have the authority or the
right. I speak neither as a representative nor as a member. I can
relay what I expect, but you, and your readers must understand that is
only my own private opinion as a mystic.

The Council specifically is a body whose role is to guide and teach.
It is a scholarly body, not a governmental one. Many exiles have
recently demanded actions and accountability for things the Council
has no power over. The policies of the Council of the Mystic Guild
remain unchanged (again, to my understanding). Public announcements
are likely to be rare events. That does not mean there will be none,
but I think it is likely that the exiles who have demanded things from
the Council of late will continue to be disappointed by the slow pace
of Council deliberation, and the general policy of letting individuals
choose their own paths. The Council does not rule, it only advises.

Para: #2) What do you think of the 'Brion brothers, and should
Puddleby trade with them? Are the 'brions a threat to Puddleby and are
these Orga Stones worth all this trouble?

Callia: Well, that's several questions, I shall address them
separately.

The 'Brion brothers, are...interesting. Some time ago, I wrote an
analysis of Tenebrion. While it is dated now, some of it still remains
true, and is worth reading. (In my own opinion, of course.) To
summarize briefly: The 'Brions are arrogant. Their sense of
entitlement is vast. They respect little that cannot hurt them. Their
power is great; I doubt we have seen the fullest extent of it at this
time. However, they are not without limitations as well. I believe
that just as they have concealed at least some of their power, so too
do they conceal some of their limitations. One example of their
limitations: I believe that at least some of their power may be tied
to physical artifacts, and thus, be largely immobile.

They have questionable morals. Tenebrion, for example, is a
Necromancer. They clearly view exploitation as a useful tool in order
to reach their own goals. They mislead exiles, they lie, they attempt
to play us off against one another to their own advantage. They are
capricious, fickle, in an older parlance they might be described as
"tricksie sprites." I think that they want something from us, and that
they have decided that using exiles as tools is the best, most
efficient way of getting what they want.

However, they also represent a source of knowledge which we do not
understand, and do not know the extent of. They appear to have
knowledge which relates to things which concern us greatly, such as
Purgatory. For all that, I mistrust them greatly. I also think it
would be unwise to ignore them or turn our backs on them. The
situation would seem to indicate that our future is threatened, and it
would further seem to indicate that they have knowledge we require to
ensure our future safety. One of the first lessons taught in the Guild
is that not all is as it seems, so...I mistrust appearances, and I
watch the 'Brions closely, and I talk with them when the opportunity
arises.

Should we deal with them? Hard to say. There is much going on which we
do not understand. It is possible that we are being manipulated. It is
possible that we are not. They hold knowledge which we do not, which
may affect our safety. In my attempts to research the subject, *I*
have found no other sources for this knowledge. So...in conclusion, I
would say yes, we should interact with them. We need to understand
them better, to determine if they are a threat, an ally, or neither.
We will not learn this by avoiding them.

Should we complete the deal the Council has made regarding the Orga
Stones? Again, hard to say. In theory, the deal will normalize
relations with the 'Brions, possibly allowing future, freer exchanges
of knowledge. Allowing the deal to fall through may sour relations
with them, but for how long? Who can say? Can the deal be
renegotiated, as some exiles have called for? No, the deal is on the
table, we take it, or reject it, and face the consequences. I
personally would have chosen to reject the deal; I would have
preferred to gauge the extent of the force that they are prepared to
array against us. I suspect that this would be an uncomfortably large
amount of force. However, the Council chose to deal and I have decided
that supporting the Council is important, even if I do not agree with
their decision.

The 'Brions are not comfortable to deal with. But unlike some exiles,
I do not think ignoring them is a reasonable alternative. At present,
they are waiting, but deal or not, they will not wait forever. Which
does Puddleby prefer? War now? Or a longer period where we may study
them and learn who they are and what they think?

As for the Stones themselves: The technical Guild term for them is
Strange Stones. Many exiles (and indeed, many mystics) refer to them
as "Orga Stones" but I tend to think that this is both misleading, and
incorrect. The island of Puddleby is covered in ancient ruins. Ruins
which, I think, may predate the Orga occupation of Puddleby. I think
the Stones are an artifact of whatever this civilization was, and that
they are not of Orga origin. The Stones represent great power. They
also represent great cost. Are they worth the trouble? Some exiles
feel that if we do not try to obtain them, then the Orga get them, and
keeping them out of the hands of the Orga is reason enough alone to
try to obtain them. I think that in the hands of a trained specialist,
they represent a powerful tool which can be used to aid exiles and
Puddleby.

Para: #3) Are these good times to be a mystic? Bad times? How do you
see the role of mystics in Puddleby society today? What do you see in
the future for mystics?

Callia: Hmm, my response to this question is somewhat mixed. Looking
at things objectively, I would say that this is a time much like any
other, students and members of the Guild go about their daily
business, and their lives, much as they always have. So, objectively,
it is no better or worse to be a mystic now than at any other time.
Subjectively? I find myself to be frequently disappointed by much of
what I read and hear, and by some of the reactions I get from various
exiles. Very few people seem to have a good understanding of what it
means to be a mystic. Expectations are being placed upon us which are
unreasonable, and frankly, a little foolish. Attributions which I
personally find to be vague and mean-spirited are directed at us,
ascribing to us an (apparently) inherent malice and selfishness. When
I probe at these opinions, I find them to be poorly grounded and
vague, and yet their owners hold to them with considerable tenacity,
in spite of attempts on my part to explore the basis for their
opinions. The assumptions of malicious pettiness are the most
disappointing. The good opinions of healers and fighters for specific
students are a compliment rather than a cause for detraction, or
grudges.

So, I would say that I personally, am disappointed at the present
time. I've worked very hard to try to make Puddleby a better, happier,
safer place, and to serve the Guild to the best of my abilities. And
currently, I feel my contributions are largely being ignored or
misunderstood.

But such is life, "Patience with others..." as my favorite teacher
liked to say.

What can mystics offer to Puddleby? Much the same as they have always
offered. Some exiles would say that amounts to nothing. Interestingly,
some of these same exiles can also be heard to complain that mystics
are never around when you need them; a pity that they can't see the
connection. Our "job" is to learn and to know. That is what we do
best. We do not order or direct as a general rule, rather we observe
and advise. Most of the skills which we can bring to bear are related
to perception. Some exiles find these skills useful, many do not. To a
large extent, the degree to which we are useful is irrelevant. Being
"useful" is not what we do. Knowing is what we do. Although sometimes
that can be seen as useful.

That having been said, if Puddleby does not find us to be useful, then
they will not support our Guild, and there will be less of us. Most
notably, there will be less students. I also find it paradoxical that
some exiles would complain about the lack of mystics, and then in the
same breath refuse to support the students of the Guild by way of
protest. If the students are not supported, then the chance that they
will be able to complete their studies is greatly diminished. Simple
cause and effect to my mind.

Some of the above is, of course, related to the assessments of the
Guild's students by healers and fighters. That is to say, many healers
and fighters judge the students they see and know, and judge what they
see of the Guild and decide that their personal friends qualify for
the highest honors the Guild (currently) has to offer. Honors which
are the reserved prerogative of the Council, and the Council alone to
grant. Most residents of Puddleby have little or no idea what it means
to be a mystic (as I said above).  Mystics have many cares and
responsibilities, and most of what we do, is not visible to the
general public. Nor is it likely to become so. We are frequently
maligned for our rigorous maintenance of secrecy. But that is as it
must be. We explain as much as we may, safely, we tell as much as we
can. What we keep hidden, we do to preserve the structure and
integrity of our Guild. This is important to us, indeed, it is
critical. So, indeed, there are many students, and their friends may
feel that they are ready to advance, but their friends are not aware
of the criteria by which such things are judged, nor are they likely
to become so. The specifics of the criteria in question are one of the
secrets we keep.

What do I see in the future for mystics? Hmm...I see a quieter time, a
time when we will be less visible, less obvious. If we do not please,
then we will not be as forthcoming. Though no doubt, this too will
meet with disapproval from the exiles who feel they have reason to
dislike us.

Para: #4) What is your specialty? Could you tell us a little about how
you see your role in Puddleby?

Callia: What do I do? My primary training is as a locator. As such, I
am a skilled expert at finding lost exiles. Sometimes this is useful,
sometimes not. When I was a Journeying Mystic, this was my primary
occupation. Now, I do it less. Locating is a job most often filled by
Journeying Mystics. Some mystics do it as well too, of course, but
mystics have other tasks which occupy their time. Location is probably
the most commonly understood and well-known skill by the rest of
Puddleby. Additionally, I have also trained as an Ethereal expert. I
study the Ethereal plane, I study how Ether interacts with our world,
and why. Most of that would probably be rather boring to most exiles.
Lastly, I have responsibilities within the Guild. As a mystic, I have
a responsibility to see that the students learn the principles of the
Guild, and learn how to use the tools provided to them, and more
importantly, to learn the whys of using those tools. My job is to
watch, to learn, to teach, and to advise.

Para: #5) When you are not in town, what do you like to do? Do you
have favorite hunting grounds? What tools do you use?

Callia: Hmm...I do not "hunt" per se, I find the occupation to be
dull, and dangerous, with few opportunities to learn. When I do travel
outside of Puddleby, it is most likely to be on an expedition to
learn, and to explore. These are the things which most interest me. Of
late, I have spent much of my time focused on the Ether, and the
Ethereal Plane, I go there fairly frequently, to observe. It's rather
dangerous, but I generally go with a group which is familiar with the
problems, and fairly skilled at dealing with them. The dangers do make
it difficult to explore properly, however. There is much which isn't
understood about the Ethereal plane.

As for what I use on such expeditions: I carry a dagger, which I use
for personal defense, should the need arise, however, I seldom make an
effort to attack. I am easily one of the most physically frail members
of the group I work with. It is more important for me to stay out of
the way of the fighting, and to remain healthy, than it is for me to
contribute to it directly. I also find a use for both the Rod of Akea,
and the Orb of Caesindre, though sadly, my skill with both of these
tools is less than the situation often demands. However, one cannot
study everything.

Para: #6) Who is more of a threat to Puddleby and why: Darshak, Orga
or Undine? Do you think any of these work together?

Callia: Hum, a difficult question. Hard to choose which of those three
is a greater threat. I think to start I will say that as things stand
presently, we are at a relative stalemate with all three. If things
remain the same, we will be all right. If things change, then any one
of those three groups might cause us problems. The Darshak and the
Orga represent forces which I see as having volition, and which bear
us malice. The Darshak would seem to bear us malice specifically, and
on purpose, whereas the Orga would seem only to bear malice to every
other living thing. The third group, the Undine, I view as more of a
natural force, perhaps rather like the weather. Sometimes there are
storms, sometimes it is calm.

Of the three, the group most likely to ally itself with the others
would be the Darshak. The Darshak are well known to use Undine, and I
believe that some of their rites may actually create Undine as a
by-product, or even summon some of the more powerful ones
specifically. The Orga most likely would not work with another group
on purpose, but according to the texts of Falinea, when they fought
against the Winged Centaurs, the Orga used a strange bluish stone,
that destroyed any living thing it touched. This calls to my mind the
Soulglasses from the Ripture War. Further research into the journals
of Thoom Hulapop would indicate that the Darshak Theocracy used some
form of tainted moonstone. I tend to suspect a connection there. The
Stones used by the Orga may well have been the same as the Stones of
the Darshak, and may have been provided by them. Further, those stones
may well be Soulglasses. This would imply that the Darshak might be
the source of the Soulglasses, and might well have been the catalyst
for the Ripture War. But much remains unclear. If they were
responsible for the distribution of the Soulglasses, why have they not
repeated the distribution? Perhaps the Soulglasses are a natural
occurrence, appearing every so often, and have been used by the
Darshak, the Orga, and by exiles, at various different times. A
disturbing thought, to be honest.

I have many questions, but few answers.

Para: It is a long-standing tradition at the conclusion of a Fishwrap
interview that you are allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question. You
may ask your ONE (1) question now.

Callia: Hm . . .  What should I ask? I think perhaps the thing that
would interest me the most would be your own thoughts on the Mystic
Guild, its current (apparent) endeavors, and its future. What do you
think? Where are we (the Mystic Guild) going? What does Puddleby think
of us? Why? Rather more than 1 (ONE) question I'm afraid, answer as
you see fit.

Para (stepping outside of his traditional persona as detached
interviewer): I support the Mystic Council's plan to engage the
'Brions in trade, with some reservations. I think Puddleby needs to
find out more about the Strange Stones and about the abilities of the
'Brions, and only through interaction will that become possible. I do
recommend that mystics heed the advice of those who are cautioning
them to make sure the other orders (healers and fighters as well as
those who have chosen no profession) are involved in the trade. I
suggest appointing representatives from the fighter and healer
communities to be involved in whatever delegation is selected to
arrange a trade. If something goes wrong with the trade, and only the
Mystic Guild is involved, the negative repercussions for the Guild
could be enormous. Mystics should be sure to share the responsibility
of this decision for the good of Puddleby and for their own good as
well.

I think the future of the Mystic Guild is cloudy at this point.
Mystics seem to be at a crossroads. The policies of secrecy have left
many in Puddleby asking if we really even need mystics. Many are even
questioning what exactly makes someone a mystic in the first place, as
the controversy over Manticore has recently so clearly indicated. I
think excessive secrecy has helped to bring about this situation. I
can understand the desire to keep certain mystic secrets. Yet I think
this climate of secrecy has covered the Guild so much that mystics are
increasingly in danger of losing their relevance in Puddleby. I see
the Manticore controversy and the recent public announcement as
important turning points, and I hope to see mystics moving toward a
policy of maintaining those secrets deemed necessary while also
preserving a voice in the community. I think your interview here will
help to heighten public awareness of the issues important to mystics,
and I thank you for agreeing to an interview with Fishwrap.

#####
INTERVIEW WITH RINCEWIND
BY PARAMEDIC

Para: #1) What do you think of the 'Brion brothers? Should Puddleby trade
with them?

Rincewind: Hrm, I must admit I've rarely seen very much of the 'Brion
Brothers. They never seem to be around when I'm about, so much of my
opinion is based on third-hand information.

Having said that, it seems they are not terribly dissimilar to many
exiles: good at looking out for themselves, without much interest in
others. More competition to us, than direct threat I feel. If they'd
really been intent on invasion, they surely would have done so ages
ago...and I can't see that possessing a few orga stones would affect
the odds of victory or defeat much at all.

As for trading with them, as long as it done cautiously, and with a
clear understanding of who is getting what exactly, I see no reason
not to. We could well gain important skills or tools from it, though
the cost will doubtless be high. I personally don't see the
'Brions as
a dire threat, but rather in the same way one might greet a strong
warrior from far off lands appearing suddenly. In other words, as
someone to be treated with caution certainly, but also with respect
and the hope that in time one can work together to become allies.

Para: #2) Are these good times to be a mystic? Bad times? Is the
Mystic Council representing mystics well? Is it the job of the Mystic
Council to represent mystics?

Rincewind:Um, interesting times. There have been several recent events
that have focused peoples attention on the mystic class, which overall
is a good thing, even if the events themselves weren't. Mystics are
the least understood and least effectively utilized class. Non-mystics
often have little idea what a well trained mystic can do, and many
mystics lack the practice and experience to use their skills
effectively.

Many people seem to think all mystics are similar, and therefore
become disenchanted when whomever they ask can't do whatever. However,
mystics tend to vary in skills far more than fighters and healers. For
example, one can roughly predict what a 3rd circle fighter might be
able to solo however they are trained. Yet pick 2 mystics and there
can be a complete contrast. Some have awesome boosts but can't locate
at all, while others can locate a fallen miles away, but can't boost;
yet others can tune sunstones and open illusions but not boost or
locate. Overall, mystics need more experience in using their skills in
the field, and non-mystics need to give them the opportunity to do
so...it might even help! :D

As for the council, it's not their role to represent mystics; it's up
to each individual to build his or her own reputation. The council is
merely there to guide them along the path.

Para: #3) Could you tell us a little about your skills of location?
How can exiles best improve their chances of being located when
fallen? What do you think exiles do not know about location-finding,
but should know?

Rincewind: Sure. To be effective as a locator, one needs much the same
knowledge and skills as a rescue healer: a thorough knowledge of the
lands, how to get from A to B (safely and quickly, with or without
pathfinding) and also a good knowledge of exiles (who hunts with who,
where they like to hunt, and how good the healer offering to go get
them is). While often there isn't much point in trekking out to the
fallen personally as a mystic (you can't do much when one gets there
other than gossip or fall!), one needs to know the area both to
correctly interpret the skristal reading, and also to ensure that
those offering to rescue know how to/can get there, and are likely to
succeed.

As for improving one's chances: if I don't know that someone is
fallen, I won't know they need help, so \share and toggle (or wait a
few minutess for me to see the fallen message). It's also easier to
locate those with strong mind training...though that's about as
popular as fighters training spiritus to make them easier to heal :D

As I'm often working on getting help for several fallens at once, it
can take time to get help for everyone, and if you're feeling ignored
or forgotten, toggle again! The same applies if you feel that the
locate was off target. Skristals see the world rather differently, so
if you feel the locate isn't right, toggle again. Lastly, it is always
helpful to know if a fallen is being chained or pushed to another
area, so please let me know if a fallen is on the move.

Para: #4) When you are not in town locating, what do you like to do?
Do you have favorite hunting grounds?

Rincewind: Heh, exploring. The only weapons I possess are my wands. I
almost never go hunting, as it's simply not worth it for me. I think
the weakest thing I "kill" is an Orga Fury! Having said that, I do
enjoy joining a group to boost if they are having trouble with a tough
critter, or go on clan hunts to boost the weaker fighters and healers
so they can tag. (Boosting works best in an area where the fighters
can hit all but the toughest critter commonly found there.)

However, mostly I go exploring: poking around in remote corners and
far off places, as well as constantly striving to improve my knowledge
of the lands. I'm constantly looking for clues, or trying new
solutions to puzzles such as how to open the Mirrors or the Muddy
Forest Rose, as well as to see what's new; also so that I can guide
rescuers to anywhere fallens happen to be. There are very few places
that I've never been to, and not many I'd get lost in; mostly those
that require an army to get to (the various mazes under the Brion
castles are the only ones that come to mind, though I've been to them
all at least once). About the only places I'll not attempt a rescue
effort are those one simply cannot enter (for example, beyond an
illusion when no Full Mystics are about) or the Foothills when there
are only 10 people in the world.

Para: #5) Who is more of a threat to Puddleby and why: Darshak, Orga
or Undine? Do you think any of these work together?

Rincewind: Hrm, I'd guess I'd have to say, the Orga. They are the most
widespread, and have put several huge invasion forces together in the
past. When they include bolt throwers into their army, they can be
extremely tough to repulse. While there are tough Darshak and Undines,
I have yet to see any that are worse than an Orga Hatred with a
Hemlock or two backup. Even Greater Deaths can be outrun, and I've
never seen them in an invasion force, luckily. The Darshak thankfully
never seem to have much of a strategy, and so while their numbers may
be great, their invasions lack direction and purpose, and the same for
the undine.

Para: Any last comments for Fishwrap readers?

Rincewind: Mystic skills are enhanced (more effective and easier) when
more people are sharing; this is true even if you're asleep or
gossiping in town. If you've got a spare slot, share a mystic!

#####
TESTING THE CLUBS
BY HIMITSU

After spending some time investigating the exact qualities of the new
clubs, I discovered that Flickering is a relatively new addition to
the other clubs (Bright, Glowing, Brilliant) so I bought the
Flickering club and did some testing in the Monastery. I then
determined that the numbers I'd seen in the past weren't exactly
accurate so I ended up buying all of the clubs and came up with these
approximate numbers.

These new clubs act as regular clubs except they won't let you swing
until you get to a minimum percent balance. This is good because if
you're a fighter who relies on Balthus for most of your defense then
you don't have to worry about getting too low. The bad thing is they
are sticky just like the Gossamer, Fell Blade, and Bloodblade used by
the fighters and the Mercurial Staff used by the healers.

Flickering (10c) - 50%
Glowing (19c) - 65%
Bright (49c) - 80%
Brilliant (108c) - 100%

All of the percentages are rounded to the nearest whole number and are
approximations, except for Flickering and Brilliant, which are exact.
If you think these numbers are off, please let me know. I'm pretty
sure they're correct but that doesn't mean they are.

If you like these clubs, you can buy them from the basement in Wiktus'
shop or from me at cost (quantity 1 each). Prices vary a bit as all
the weapons do but they're around the ones I gave above.

So there you have it, the Light Clubs.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/
You can subscribe there and also read all the back issues.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Additional contributors to this issue: Himitsu

Fishwrap is always looking for new stories. If you have news you think
belongs in Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic mail at the Puddleby Post
Office (mailbox #1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com.

Advertising rates for Fishwrap:
Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

Hi.

3 announcements:

1) Today is the last day for qualified judges to vote for their favorite entry
in the
Puddleby Pie Project Commemorative Art Contest. Prue reports: "Judging will
close on Monday, Oct 14. There are more than 40 judges who have not
voted... If you are one of them, and you wish to participate, you better get a
move on."

The twelve entries may be viewed at:
http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/contest.html

Even if you are not a qualified judge, you can view the entries.

2) The next Fishwrap is coming along quite nicely. If you have anything to
contribute or you'd like to place an ad, please do so right away (by tomorrow).
This is the last call.

3) Some of you may be having trouble getting the last Clan Lord update. Delta
Tao is having some server problems. Kiriel has been kind enough to make
the update files available at the Winds of Dawn site. Here is the URL:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/updates/

  - Para

Thoom!

The next issue of Fishwrap Magazine is coming soon. Please send along any
submissions or advertising requests you have as soon as possible. Thoom!

Para

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the fishwrapmagazine
group.

   File        : /quicktime/wildthursday.mov
   Uploaded by : paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>
   Description : Wild Thursday 9/12/02

You can access this file at the URL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/quicktime/wildthursday.mov

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"I have a fishbowl overflowing with karma"

Issue #50: "Bloodblades and the Hermit"
[August 30, 2002]
Circulation: 173

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* The Bloodblade Interviews
* The Rising Claw Sylvan Fight
* Marsh Hermit
* Exile Appeal, or Lack Thereof

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Order of Akara
http://www.orderofakara.com/
* The Puddleby Chamber of Commerce
http://homepage.mac.com/lintila/puddlebycoc/
* The Order of the Golden Maha
http://www.guildcraftfurniture.com/ogm/

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

New Painting in Museum
Trip to the Abyss
New Horus Healers List
Norm Chains in Island Rescue
Auctioning Raymond
Mystic Rumble in the Arena
Journey to the Lake
Darshak Attack
Bard Auditions Announced
Thoom of Death

for more information on the above stories, see TMN at:

http://www.thoomcare.com/

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in all languages!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters
and advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable.

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Don't forget to check out the frequently updated TMN news at

http://www.thoomcare.com/

If you'd like to submit some news or pictures to the ThoomCare Media
Network, just email them to me at thoomcare.com.

- Para

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Xepel's Commissioning Service!

Haven't you always wanted music for that special occasion? For those
special times in your life? You can now have music for any occasion:
commission a song by Xepel!

A list of prices is posted at

http://xepel.puddleby.info/compose.html

Prices are negotiable and will be quoted when you give a description
of the song you'd like to have written.

#####
DORF ON THE STREET
CHARLOS ASKS ABOUT THE BLOODBLADE

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Manx says, "I'd be happy to."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Manx"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Manx says, "er..."
(Manx looks around nervously.)
Soulmaster says, "we're all bloodbladers Charlos"
Xrith ponders, "'bladers moan too much"
Manx says, "I think bloodblading is a dangerous activity."
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Manx says, "I do."
Phineas exclaims, "Whoot!"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Manx says, "Oh, no."
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Manx says, "Those things scare me."
Manx exclaims, "sure!"
Xrith ponders, "I would like to be nerfed"
Manx exclaims, "all the above!"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Manx asks, "Beats me, Chuck. Do undine use'em too?"
Manx ponders, "do they even have blood?"
Charlos says, "heh"
Xrith ponders, "no horking or tweaking on the first date though"
Manx says, "All I know is..."
Manx says, "as a healer it can be painful to watch someone suffer and
refuse help."
Manx says, "Not to mention the mess it makes on my new shoes."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Manx says, "Any time."
-----------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Shen Calin says, "Sure."
Charlos says, "I was wondering if you would be able to talk to me
about your bloodblade..."
Shen Calin says, "Ok.."
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Shen Calin says, "It gives me a boost of strength."
Shen Calin says, "I hit better, and I hit harder"
Shen Calin says, "when low on health."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Shen Calin says, "Depends on the situation."
Shen Calin says, "If I am low of health, then I use it."
Shen Calin says, "Or if I know I can't hit something.."
Shen Calin says, "I'll use it then."
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Shen Calin says, "You would say I am skilled. :)"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.. Not much actually.."
Shen Calin says, "I fall just as much as I did before. :)"
Shen Calin says, "if not more. ;)"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Shen Calin says, "Yes and no."
Shen Calin says, "Some people think I steal tags."
Shen Calin says, "But oh well. :)"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Shen Calin says, "Fighters, definately."
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin says, "I don't really remember her too much."
Charlos asks, "No clear recollection at all?"
Shen Calin says, "I can't remember her color of fur. :\"
Shen Calin says, "My sister might know."
Shen Calin says, "But.."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Shen Calin says, "That was long ago."
Charlos asks, "You feel as if she left you?"
Shen Calin says, "She was murdered. :\"
Charlos says, "I see"
Shen Calin says, "As was my father."
Charlos says, "You were orphaned"
(Shen Calin seems visibly shaken.)
Charlos says, "This had a traumatic effect on you"
Shen Calin says, "Aye."
Shen Calin says, "Very.."
Shen Calin says, "I wake at night sometimes with bad lucid dreams."
Charlos asks, "Dreams about your mother?"
Shen Calin says, "Aye."
Shen Calin says, "And my village"
Shen Calin says, "I remember it only slightly."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Shen Calin says, "Nacerean is the one that gives Blood Mages our tools."
Charlos asks, "Nacerus?"
Shen Calin says, "Aye.. Sorry.."
Shen Calin says, "Not thinking clearly"
Charlos says, "Understandably"
Shen Calin says, "The Order was named after Nacerus."
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Shen Calin exclaims, "Ooh.. Tough one!"
Charlos ponders, "How'd that one slip in?"
Shen Calin says, "Hm."
Shen Calin says, "I think it's a toss up between gills and guts."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
(Shen Calin nods.)
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
Shen Calin exclaims, "ACK!"
Shen Calin says, "VERMINE!"
Shen Calin says, ".."
Shen Calin says, "umm.."
Shen Calin says, "Hmm."
Shen Calin says, "Vermine."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Charlos asks, "What are the vermine doing?"
Shen Calin says, "surrounding my ankles.."
Shen Calin says, "biting.."
Shen Calin says, "erg."
Shen Calin says, ".."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Shen Calin says, "Yes.. I do."
Charlos asks, "How do reconcile the contradiction of maintaining low
health in a battle situation?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin asks, "Can you rephrase the question?"
(Shen Calin): Shen has no brain, Just ask Jo Ma'ril.
Charlos says, "I suppose I should.."
Shen Calin asks, "Do you mean, how do I justify having low health in
battle?"
Charlos says, "I mean to ask..."
Charlos exclaims, "Yes!"
Shen Calin says, "Ahh.."
Shen Calin says, "Low health is never justified.."
Shen Calin says, "but it comes with using a bloodblade."
Shen Calin says, "It is very risky.."
Shen Calin says, "and dangerous to my bodily health."
Shen Calin says, "But"
Shen Calin says, "it depends on the situation."
Shen Calin says, "Example:"
Shen Calin says, "If we are taking down savannah maha,"
Shen Calin says, "There is no need to use it."
Shen Calin says, "but if we are taking down a wrath, or frenzy and
there is plenty of horus.."
Shen Calin says, "Then I think taking down the critter is more of
importance."
Skywalker ponders, "only use bloodblade when you are: low in health,
need to hit something hard, or soloing..."
Shen Calin says, "Never soloing Skywalker."
Shen Calin says, "Too risky."
Skywalker says, "I know, I didn't mean to say that"
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Shen Calin says, "My friend."
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin says, "Yes."
Shen Calin says, "The road of the Blood Mage is a very rocky one."
Shen Calin says, "You will be accepted and or not."
Shen Calin says, "If you show strong morals.."
Shen Calin says, "good judgment.."
Shen Calin says, "then you can possibly be a good Blood Mage"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Shen Calin for Fishwrap Magazine."
Shen Calin exclaims, "Of course!"
------------------

Elenis Reyav says, "Nooo"
Elenis Reyav says, "He's my bloodblade info source"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "Mine!"
Hrothgar says, "Ahh, I can talk to you about some aspects. But some
things I've agreed"
Hrothgar says, "not to share"
Charlos says, "Sounds good"
Elenis Reyav says, "Though for a beer, he'll tell you all he knows."
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Hrothgar says, "I got tired of being a detha whore fighter, and things
weren't very exciting standing in one place having monsters endlessly
swinging at me"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Hrothgar says, "Well, I can't exactly stand in one place anymore. But
I find it suits me quite well"
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Hrothgar says, "I really can't give a number"
Charlos says, "Fair enough..."
Hrothgar says, "But.. About a year's worth"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Hrothgar says, "Well.. I used to stand in one place and try to block
on my own."
Hrothgar says, "Now I've assumed a support role"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Hrothgar says, "Ask Hidden, he loves it"
Hrothgar says, "Some healers are squeamish about it"
Hrothgar says, "But it takes some practice to use well. Namely knowing
enough to not go after cave cobras or valley panthers"
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Hrothgar says, "Yes, grew up in a life of happiness and wealth =)"
Charlos says, "Oh, I see"
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Hrothgar says, "None that I can see.. It's more reverse in that"
Hrothgar says, "a vampire takes blood from others to strengthen
himself.. We give our own to help others"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Hrothgar says, "Some do. In difficult situations sometimes you are
told by group leaders to kill something before everyone has tagged.
It's necessary, but some get upset"
Hrothgar says, "I would imagine Crunch would have similar situations"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Charlos says, "You mentioned squeamish healers before..."
Hrothgar says, "Healers have relaxed greatly as of late. A competent
blader doesn't fall often at all, and the healer never needs to worry
about healing them"
Hrothgar says, "Fighers who have a hard time tagging new critters have
always had the same mixed reactions"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Hrothgar says, "My mother was a very kind woman, of good health. She
was dismayed when I became a soldier but we always were on good terms"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Hrothgar says, "One who learns from Nacerus"
Hrothgar says, "Or rather does in a formal setting"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Hrothgar says, "Beer. Oh Beer by far"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
(Hrothgar thinks hard)
Hrothgar says, "I see a parchment. I accidentally left my cold beer on
it. The parchment is ruined but the beer is oh so cold =)"
Charlos says, "Well played..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Hrothgar says, "Rarely"
Charlos asks, "Why?"
Hrothgar says, "I only slip it on when there is a healer that insists
on healing me in a tough situation. It beats telling them to stop over
and over again"
Charlos asks, "How do you reconcile the contradiction of maintaining
low health in a battle situation?"
Hrothgar says, "We get very good at what we do."
Hrothgar says, "Most people have a hard time taking only 3-4 hits in a
battle. Imagine having to be so careful that you take 0"
Charlos says, "I see what you mean"
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Hrothgar says, "Thorin and I can't hit each other anyway.. ;D"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Hrothgar says, "Well, let the blade choose you. And join the support
group. learning a weapon is very hard alone"
Hrothgar says, "Unlike the other weapon users, we have set a support
group so we learn together and ultimately stay focused to a goal of
mastery. It's a pity the fells and the gosses don't =/"
Hrothgar ponders, "<Cough> I'm sure the fell has a subclass of its own"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Hrothgar for Fishwrap Magazine"
Hrothgar says, "Anytime"
----------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Hidden says, "Heh, sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Hidden"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Hidden says, "Love it, couldn't live without it. Bloodbladers are my
best friends"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Hidden says, "Several. Shen, Asmodean, Hrothgar..."
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Hidden exclaims, "I'm a healer, of course not!"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Hidden says, "Hmm"
Hidden says, "No, I think they're fine. There's a lot of danger to
using 'em. Had to call in Horus a lot"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Hidden says, "Yes, one does a damn good job of killing the other"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
(Manx pokes at Gorvin.)
Gorvin says, "no, go away"
(Manx chuckles.)
Raymond Shifter says, "haha"
Charlos says, "heh"
------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Natas says, "go nuts"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Natas"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Natas says, "Not a whole hell of a lot"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Natas says, "I sure as hell hope not"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Natas asks, "What do you think?"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Natas says, "Mebbe junked"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Natas says, "Yes, they both suck"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Topaz says, "Hiya, Chuck"
Charlos says, "'lo"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Topaz says, "Oh if ya need me to"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Topaz"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Topaz says, "I like it... if they have the ring to go with it"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Topaz says, "Yes"
(Topaz smiles)
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Topaz asks, "I am a healer, Chuck... what would I be doing using such
things?"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Topaz says, "Hmmm"
Topaz asks, "Do I have to choose?"
Charlos says, "You could choose one, or just say no"
Topaz says, "Naah"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Topaz says, "Hmm.. could be... maybe not..."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Aries says, "you got it"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Aries"
Charlos asks, "What do you think about bloodblading?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Aries exclaims, "yaaaaa!"
---------------

Darkmos says, "sure"
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Darkmos says, "Mmm, well, it was the first specialty weapon I was able
to train with"
Darkmos says, "and it best suited my training to this point"
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Darkmos says, "It is"
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Darkmos says, "Hmmm"
Darkmos says, "I have trained a decent amount with it, yes"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Darkmos says, "I do my best to be a support fighter and usually don't
use it unless its on monsters we wish to kill quickly"
Darkmos says, "or are otherwise hard to hit"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Darkmos says, "I always ask if they want me to use my bloodblade and
if they feel it is necessary then they appreciate the use of it"
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Darkmos says, "Well, I fell a lot..."
Darkmos says, "That's about all I remember about it"
Charlos asks, "Fell? Fell down? Hard?"
Darkmos says, "Hmm"
Darkmos says, "Often, down, yes, and hard"
Charlos asks, "Any major, long lasting trauma?"
Darkmos says, "Hmm there was this one time..."
Charlos says, "Yes, go on..."
Darkmos says, "Split my head open on a rat's skull..."
Charlos says, "Sounds painful..."
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm, all I know about the relation is that Tenebrion"
Darkmos says, "once was interested in a bloodblade I believe"
Darkmos says, "and he plays with undine commonly"
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Darkmos asks, "so... maybe?"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Darkmos says, "probably"
Darkmos says, "but if they do I could care less"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Darkmos says, "fighters"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Darkmos says, "erm"
Darkmos says, "hmm"
Darkmos says, "I was abused as a child, so..."
(Darkmos shrugs)
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Darkmos says, "umm"
Darkmos asks, "a person in that order?"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Charlos ponders, "How'd that one slip in?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm"
Charlos says, "Never mind, you don't have to answer that one... unless
you want extra credit"
Darkmos says, "thoom gills for sure"
Charlos says, "Ah"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
Darkmos says, "uhhh"
Darkmos asks, "the inside of Sabbit's head?"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Darkmos says, "I do"
Charlos asks, "How do reconcile the contradiction of maintaining low
health in a battle situation?"
Darkmos says, "erm"
Darkmos asks, "are you asking how do I keep low health? or how do I
live with low health?"
Charlos asks, "What I mean to say is, how do you justify it?"
Darkmos says, "oo I see"
Charlos says, "The maintenance of the low health..."
Darkmos says, "Well, if I can assist in the slaying of a monster that
I can otherwise not hit, then I can easily justify being low in health"
Darkmos says, "As long as I do not fall, I am not a large tax on healers"
Charlos asks, "So, it is a question of not being able to hit the beast
otherwise?"
Darkmos says, "It is a question of not being able to hit the beast,
and if the group can easily handle it without the assistance of a
bloodblade"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Darkmos ponders, "friends?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm"
Darkmos says, "usually we kill each other"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Darkmos says, "I do in fact..."
Darkmos says, "When hunting in a group it is best to let them know you
are able to bloodblade and ask them before you do, and let the healers
know as well."
Charlos says, "Agreed"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Darkmos for Fishwrap Magazine"
Darkmos exclaims, "No problem!"
---------------

(Althea grins)
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Althea says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I was wondering if you would be able to talk to me
about your bloodblade..."
Althea says, "ok"
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Althea shows her bloodblade to everyone.
Althea says, "why..."
Althea says, "because there is great power in it"
Althea says, "and sometimes great power is useful."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Althea asks, "you mean do I employ it all the time?"
Althea says, "no."
Althea says, "I use it when the time is right."
Charlos says, "I mean, do you prefer it to "conventional" methods"
Althea says, "preference is such a difficult thing."
Althea says, "it's part of my path as a fighter."
Charlos asks, "I suppose I mean, do you enjoy it?"
Althea says, "I trade my health for power... my life force drains into
the blade"
Althea says, "its not a good feeling"
Althea says, "plus..."
(Althea looks embarrassed)
Althea says, "once I fell to a chigger using it"
Althea says, "so no."
(Charlos stifles an unprofessional chuckle)
Althea says, "enjoy isn't the right word for it."
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Althea says, "I once had 120 trainings with it"
Althea says, "but now..."
Althea says, "my learning has decayed."
Althea says, "I have not kept up my training. the decay makes me insane"
Althea says, "when I can have the ability to remember my training...
not lose it..."
Althea says, "then I will train it again."
Charlos asks, "Has it become less a part of your repertoire since the
decay?"
Althea says, "I sometimes hunt with a more experienced blader"
Althea says, "I don't think a group can support more than one"
Althea says, "So...yes."
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Althea says, "I use it less"
Althea says, "my fighting and training hasn't changed."
Althea says, "the bloodblade only added a tool to my arsenal"
Althea says, "Unlike many, I don't run around with it constantly equipped"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Althea says, "it's a controversial weapon"
Althea says, "some support it, some don't."
Althea says, "some don't even know of my training"
Althea says, "see, I don't use it to tag"
Althea says, "I don't need to."
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Althea says, "yes, until my mother died."
(Althea smiles)
Althea says, "I was about ... 80 moons or so."
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Althea says, "hmm"
Althea says, "not to my knowledge. except ..."
Althea says, "undine populate the area where Nacerus dwells"
Althea says, "and the learning is about treading the path between life
and death..."
Althea asks, "who's to say?"
Charlos says, "Not me..."
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Althea says, "no."
Charlos asks, "Because you don't use it to tag?"
Althea says, "Correct. because I always put the group first."
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Charlos says, "In general, not to you..."
Althea says, "from anecdotal reports..."
Althea says, "watching it in use"
Althea says, "not from myself..."
Althea says, "but I see fighters get mad because a thoughtless
bloodblader"
Althea says, "will take down a critter too fast"
Althea says, "or the fighters are just generally unhappy at their
changed role"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Althea says, "heh"
Althea says, "she wanted me to be a healer"
Charlos says, "I know she passed when you were young..."
Althea says, "I didn't wanna"
Althea says, "so we had some friction"
Althea says, "otherwise good"
Althea says, "she and I and Luney left my father when we were young."
(Althea shrugs)
Charlos says, "She wanted you to carry a moonstone..."
Althea says, "yes"
Charlos says, "Instead you used one to obtain your bloodblade..."
(Althea smiles)
Althea says, "why yes I did."
Althea says, "sorry mum."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Althea smiles)
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Althea says, "a member of the Nacerean Order"
Althea says, "a semi-secret society of Blood Mages"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Althea says, "Thoom gills"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Althea ponders, "beer gut looks good too though"
(Charlos pats his beer gut)
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
(Althea oohhmmmms)
Charlos says, "On the parchment..."
(Althea looks)
Althea says, "hmm"
Althea says, "it looks like... bunnies..."
Althea says, "with ... big teeth..."
Althea says, "dripping with some sort of fluid...maybe blood."
Althea says, "or else its a fluffy kitty"
Charlos says, "Interesting..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Althea says, "no"
Althea says, "Unfortunately, I no longer have sufficient training"
Charlos asks, "How do you reconcile the contradiction of maintaining
low health in a battle situation?"
Althea asks, "how do I reconcile it?"
Althea says, "a healer can take away my power with a moonstone"
Althea says, "but I'm subject to healers cadding me"
Althea says, "the most difficult part of the weapon is the group dynamic"
Althea says, "it demands much of everyone"
Charlos says, "The group dynamic..."
Althea says, "healers will see low health and their response is Pavlovian"
Althea says, "healers have to think in a new way"
Althea says, "fighters have to think in a new way"
Althea says, "the bloodblader must get used to having a glass jaw"
Althea says, "its a change for everyone"
Althea says, "the ring takes some of the burden off healers"
Althea says, "becase they don't mistakenly heal"
Althea says, "the party can focus on fighting again"
Althea says, "it's a good thing."
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Althea says, "Well, I dropped both Yor and Natas with it once."
(Lonesome Dove grins.)
Althea says, "not at the same time"
(Althea smiles)
Charlos asks, "A full battle?"
Althea says, "they were duels"
Charlos asks, "From start to finish with the bloodblade?"
Althea says, "No. let 'em knock you low"
Althea says, "then equip and finish 'em."
Althea says, "It's a great berserker weapon"
Charlos says, "Slick"
Althea says, "That's how I use it a lot in the field"
Charlos asks, "Berserker?"
Althea says, "yes..."
Althea says, "yer dying, take out as much as you can with you."
Althea asks, "does that make sense?"
Charlos asks, "So, you give up on your own life in order to end others?"
Althea says, "hehehe"
Althea says, "Provided the others are monsters, yes."
Charlos says, "Of course..."
Althea says, "and I'm already in trouble..."
Althea says, "take as many of the baddies out with me as I can"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Althea says, "Yes. much"
Althea says, "1. Understand there's a group dynamic you need to be
sensitive to"
Althea says, "2. Develop your basic fighting skills independent of
blading. Don't make that your only valuable skill"
Althea says, "3. Throw your ego out"
Althea says, "It only gets in the way"
Charlos says, "Wise words"
Althea says, "That's all my advice"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the Street
with Althea for Fishwrap Magazine"
Althea says, "heh"
----------------

Charlos says, "I'm here with Luce"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Luce says, "I love watching fighters bleed. Particularly when they cut
themselves."
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Luce asks, "Friends?"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Natas says, "Mebbe that ain't such a good question for a healer"
Raymond Shifter says, "sure it is"
Charlos says, "Yea, I know..."
Luce asks, "What was the question?"
Charlos says, "I outta figure out an alternate, but I'm a lousy reporter"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Luce says, "I'm not fond of being wounded myself."
Luce says, "I wouldn't mind using one on someone else. I understand
they dice halfings pretty well."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

MATE
Taking applications for the position of mate.
Must be interesting.
Apply to Puddleby Post Office box #2106 or in person to Nettle.

#####
"THE RISING CLAW SYLVAN FIGHT"
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

The day dawned fair, the sun shone clear
The breeze was clean and light,
Twas time for all both far and near
to witness the sylvan fight.

Had one besmirched the other, say?
Called cad or poorly dressed?
It's more they were like brothers, yea,
Just wanting to see who's best.

So one small drink and a bite or two
and they hustled out the door,
their steely blades gleamed bright as dew
as they headed to the shore.

They trod through town, well-shod and clad
In fineries rare and bright.
One would think they were two dandy lads
Not heading to a fight.

Each launched out in a rowing boat
Upon the shining sea,
But all that water and sloshing about
Made Malloc need a tree.

To the arena both arrived, not least,
A silent crowd stood, amazed,
Save one fat dwarf who cried 'Five on beast!'
Apparently drunken dazed.

They both faced each other with respect
Both their eyes a-twinkle,
Then graciously they did genuflect
Causing not a single wrinkle.

The fight was on! And circling each
Both swords raised in the air,
Neither wanted to be the first to leap
Afraid to muss their hair.

A stomp! A slice! And then a thrust!
Drax stumbled, seeming hurt
Malloc cried 'O, aye! You're injured, I trust!'
Drax said 'Nay, but you've torn my brand new shirt'!

Malloc poked and slashed and swiped with will,
A tattered Drax looked weary,
'Ye gods, do something other than stand still!'
Said a voice both slurred and beery.

A desperate last move made by Drax
ended with a Malloc gored,
He closed his eyes, held out his axe
And tripped upon a board.

Malloc looked down upon the rent
Groaning through the pain
'O, no! This top was good money spent
And I'll never get out that stain!'

The healers came and fixed them both
And made them new again
Malloc sighed looking at their clothes
'I'll be sewing for days on end.'

So off they went, both arm-in-arm
Singing a song both merry and bright,
For though they fought, there was no harm
In the Rising Claw sylvan fight.

"WHACKIN CRITTERS SONG"
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters,
I run around, from hill to town,
Whack-o-whackin critters

Whack to the left, whack to the right,
Whack all day and then all night
Why should I run when I can fight?
Whack-o-whackin critters

Is it an orga or is it rat?
It actually looks like Aldy's hat
Whack it anyway, now fancy that!
Whack-y-whackin critters

Dontcha hate it when critters hit back?
So spin aroun' an' give em a whack!
Turn that critter into a snack!
Whack-a-whackin critters

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters,
I run like hell, from glade to dell,
Whack-y-whackin critters

Up in the pass, there's stoney Grey,
A few small rocks and down you'll lay.
Oh, screw it all, whack anyway!
Whack-o-whackin critters.

I whack away until I'm red
Healers all just shake their heads
And when I fall, I'm PN Dead
Whack-a-whackin critters.

You'd think my thirst has long been slaked
A long-willed rest I ought to take
But this old habit's hard to break
Whack-y-whackin critters

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters.
I'm a fighter, it's what I do,
'n'if you don't like it, talk to Prue!
So hold yer tongue 'er I'll whack you!
Whack-y-whackin critters!

#####
INTERVIEW WITH MARSH HERMIT
BY THISTLE

Thistle says, "Heyers, Marsh Hermit"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
(Thistle nods)
Marsh Hermit nods to Thistle
Thistle says, "I'd verrah much like t'innerview yas fer th' Fishwrap
iff'n that's okie"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle exclaims, "Yar, really!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Excellent"
Thistle says, "Now, I's not a reporter, official-like. I's jus' tryin'
my hand at the freelancin', y'know"
Marsh Hermit asks, "I have two hands, how about you?"
Thistle says, "Lessee"
Marsh Hermit says, "I see"
Thistle says, "One, two"
Thistle says, "Yeps, two hands, jus' like you"
Marsh Hermit asks, "How do you feel about your body?"
Thistle asks, "Well, it's where I lives. How 'bout you?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Maybe I lIves. How 'bout you too"
Thistle says, "Gotcha. Mind iff'n I sits down? This could takes a wee
while"
Marsh Hermit exclaims, "Stop committing useless mistakes. Make your
next mistake count!"
Thistle exclaims, "Okie!"
Thistle says, "Now, let's git started"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Is it that urgent?"
Thistle asks, "Not really. Wouldja rather wait?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle asks, "Mebbe s'more small talk first?"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle exclaims, "Y'know, iff'n y'hadn't tol' me that a buncha times
when I were trainin' with ya, I'd take offence!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't think you were trainin' with me"
Thistle exclaims, "I was too!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle says, "Remember? Check my progress"
Marsh Hermit says, "Thistle, you keep me on my toes"
Thistle asks, "See?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Are you just babbling?"
Thistle says, "Well, kinder. But I thought you wasn't ready t'git
started yet"
Marsh Hermit says, "You are always making excuses"
Thistle asks, "Shush! This is an innerview, you's not s'posed t'know
me, remember?"
Marsh Hermit sighs
Thistle says, "Okies, once more from the top"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "Thass okie"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle says, "Marsh Hermit, I's here t'innerview you fer th' Fishwrap
magazine."
Marsh Hermit says, "I live in the dank marsh"
Thistle asks, "Is that th' only marsh?"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
Thistle asks, "Yar, that's true. So, okies ... I's gonna ask ya some
questions. Say, 'leven. How's that sound?"
Marsh Hermit says, "No idea"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout yer marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "The dank marsh is not the only marsh"
Thistle says, "Mm hmm"
Marsh Hermit says, "I smell beer"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout the other marsh or marshes"
Marsh Hermit says, "I know my way around the marsh"
Thistle says, "Okie, 'nuff 'bout the marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "I know my way around the marsh"
Thistle says, "Who taught you 'bout ...

... Y'know, mebbe I oughter leave that bit out ...

... is a difficult skill but I could train you"
Thistle exclaims, "Y'already trained me y'daft ol' fool!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Are you new here Thistle? You seem confused..."
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout training more"
Marsh Hermit says, "Amigas are cool..."
Thistle asks, "Whassa Amiga?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Would you like to touch my chipmunk?"
Thistle exclaims, "I think tha's a l'il personal, even fer ol' friends!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle says, "Yes. Tell me 'bout yer friends"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle says, "I said yes! I heard you gots a friend or two yerself"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle asks, "Look, I said yes! Y'mean you?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "And?"
Thistle says, "Um ... and mebbe ... lessee ... how 'bout Samwise"
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm"
Thistle exclaims, "He's nice!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "How long has he been nice?"
Thistle exclaims, "Since forever!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle exclaims, "Yeps! Hey ... wait a minnit! I's the one askin'
questions here!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "What's new in Puddleby?"
Thistle says, "There's a bath house now"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Why now?"
Thistle says, "Well, it's been there a while. There's new tunnels,
too. An' Bick's got remodelled."
Marsh Hermit says, "Modesty: Being comfortable that others will
discover your greatness"
Thistle asks, "Uh huh. Who's babblin' now, eh?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Don't ask me"
Thistle says, "Oh, right! Another question"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout the last time ya left the marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
Thistle says, "Yar. Hmm ... how 'bout books? Tell me 'bout the last
book ya read"
Marsh Hermit exclaims, "NO!"
Thistle says, "Oop! Okie! No need t'git angry"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "Tha's okie. Issa two-way street. Tell me 'bout you"
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm...exciting"
Thistle says, "But ... but ... all ya do is hang around inna marsh an'
train folx in ...

... I'm thinkin' mebbe that bit oughter git left out, too ... some
things 'tween ol'
friends jus' oughtn't t'be aired in public ...

Marsh Hermit says, "The dank marsh is not the only marsh"
Thistle asks, "Well, yar, but when's the las' time ya saw the other
marshes?"
Marsh Hermit says, "But this but that...."
Thistle exclaims, "Jus' 'cuz this isn't th' onliest one dun mean ya
ever sees th' others!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I am falling asleep"
Thistle says, "Okie, one more, then it's yer turn ..."
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm...exciting"
Thistle asks, "What's yer favourite colour?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Like I care"
Thistle asks, "Is that like green?"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "No mind, then. It's yer turn anyway."
Marsh Hermit says, "Are you new here Thistle? You seem confused..."
Marsh Hermit asks, "What's new in north beach?"
Thistle says, "Ask me a question ... any question ... but only one"
Marsh Hermit says, "You are always making excuses"
Thistle says, "That were a good one! I hasn't been there inna while,
but I'll goes there now an' find out. Letcha know when I gits back."
Marsh Hermit says, "It's important to know your way around"
Thistle says, "Yar, it is. Thanks fer the innerview, Marsh Hermit"
Marsh Hermit says, "I live in the dank marsh."
(Thistle waves)
Marsh Hermit nods back at Thistle
Thistle says, "Yer daft as cheese, ya ol' bugger, but I loves ya anyway."
Marsh Hermit says, "But what"
(Thistle hugs Marsh Hermit)
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"

#####
AN EXPOSE ON HOW EXACTLY TO BE SEXY
-OR-
AN ESSAY ON MIND, MATTER, AND SEX APPEAL
BY POLERAND

So, you wish to achieve the same (or at least similar based upon
ability, current bank account size, and other anatomical qualities)
levels of sexiness that some of Puddleby's residents have? For
example, Polerand. And for another example, Polerand. And then Mai and
Chum are sort of, too. I mean Chum has martinis and a tropical shirt,
and Mai is god. But then, don't we all have tropical shirts in one way
or another? Ok, scratch Chum. And Mai doesn't count. So Polerand. That
should do just fine.

Now, you may be asking, "How could I ever hope to even stand next to
Polerand without being blinded? He is very sexy." Well, well, well,
you can't, really. But I can certainly help you to be able to hold
your own against Jo Ma'ril. Or maybe even Vagile! But that takes
coins. So, what is the point of this? Why to help you poor souls out a
tad! Polerand is holy, after all, and likes to give back to the
community. And to refer to himself in the third person. But that is
not very sexy, and will be left out of this article.

The first key to being sexy is confidence. There are many ways to gain
confidence. You could try lying to yourself over and over until you
believe your own delusions, but this could have social drawbacks as
well. You could do good for the community on a grand level, such as
Prue. You could copy Althea, as Babajaga has done from time to time.
You might even want to go hunt! I know, it is a dreadful suggestion,
but it has been documented* that money does impress on the same
frequency as sheer sexy will power. Or something like that. So lots
and lots of coins will help. Take Malkor, for example. I would pay you
to take him away, and then you would gain coins and be more sexy than
before! Never imitate Spriggins. They are inherently unsexy. Unless
they wear foxweir furs, which are very fashionable, and thus pricey,
going back to the hunting for coin suggestion. All of these should
increase your confidence which will not only provide you more sexy
appeal than before, but it will also regrow hair**!

And for the advanced students, I suggest green hair, and perhaps even
green clothing. Green clothing, however, separates the wheat from the
chaff, so be forewarned!

-Polerand

*No such documents have been provided in the Lok'Groton Islands.

**I make no claims to curing Zo-anything, including but not limited to
baldness and the rabid case of hot pants.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kiriel D'Sol, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar,
Monolith, Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II, WorldWalker, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always
looking for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in
Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic mail at the Puddleby Post Office
(mailbox #1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com.

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the fishwrapmagazine
group.

   File        : /fishwrap50.pdf
   Uploaded by : paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>
   Description : Bloodblades and the Hermit

You can access this file at the URL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/fishwrap50.pdf

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

paramedicthethoom <paramedic@...>

Greetings.

It's once again time to get your submissions in for the next issue
of Fishwrap Magazine. If you have an article or interview you'd like
published, or an ad you want to run, just let me know. The next
issue will be the 50th edition of Fishwrap (seems hard to believe,
doesn't it?) and I'd like to make it a special issue. So send me
some stuff.

Other news:

Kiriel has revived Worg's "World's Greatest Collection of Clan
Lord Links" and put it into a new format that is easier to read and
search:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/links/

Also, don't forget to check out TMN, Puddleby's new frequently
updated news source, at

http://www.thoomcare.com/

The following are the most recent news stories from TMN:

Rylantar Joins Catenae
Links List Updated
Haricot's Kitchen
Peaceton
Making a Potion
A Bad Trade
Juliosaur Returns
Kalian and Umbrion
Hunting Astral Guardians

  - Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"I'm still swimming"

Issue #49: "Xepel and Algernon"
[June 21, 2002]
Circulation: 179

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Xepel the Aqua-Sylvan
* A Note About the Mirror
* Keeper Comes to Town

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the
following sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* Order of Akara
http://www.orderofakara.com/

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

Mines of Melabrion
Puddleby Pie Show
Getting a Catsbane Necklace
Lists of Professionals Updated
Pie Show
Ethereal Plane Hunt
Bear Caves
Hunting on Kismia's Island
Nathar the Darshak Killed
Snow Orgas

for more information on the above stories, see TMN at:

http://www.thoomcare.com

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in common, dwarven,
halfling, people, or sylvan!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by
well over 170 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Don't forget to check out the frequently updated ThoomCare
Media Network news at

http://www.thoomcare.com

If you'd like to submit some news or pictures to the ThoomCare
Media Network, just email them to me at thoomcare.com.

- Para

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH XEPEL THE AQUA-SYLVAN
BY JEANNE

Jeanne says, "Thank you for agreeing to this interview. I promise
to make it as quick and painless as possible. ^_^"
Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "Why aqua?"

Xepel says, "Before the riftwar, it was different... but the riftwar
has had a huge impact on my life..."
Xepel says, "And turned me taintless."
Xepel says, "Taintless isn't a very nice term for the color... so I
call it Aqua."
Xepel says, "And, since I wear Aqua only... I am the Aqua-Sylvan
;)"
Xepel says, "Besides, where I come from, on the mainland, we
lived near the sea."
Xepel says, "You could always see the blue ocean... and it's a
great color"

Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "How did you get your fantastic music ability?"

Xepel says, "Music... is hard."
Xepel says, "People think that it is so easy just to write down a
tune from anywhere... but you have to be unique."
Xepel says, "You have to be original... and many people have a
hard time working with the tools we have to write the music with."
Xepel says, "But... the ability..."
Xepel says, "Probably from my past on the mainland..."
Xepel says, "With a little inherent creativity of my own..."
Xepel says, "My grandfather was good friends with a bard..
though my parents weren't the artsy type."
Xepel says, "I must have been encouraged through him..."
Xepel says, "But I think that I developed my music skill myself."
Xepel says, "I try to create new and better ways of writing things,
so they aren't so... mmm..."
Xepel says, "uncreative, I guess."

Jeanne asks, "new music techniques?"

Xepel says, "Dynamics."
Xepel says, "Alternate endings"

Jeanne asks, "exploring the limits of the instruments?"

(Xepel nods)
Xepel says, "Tempo changes..."
Xepel says, "There are so many things you can do"
Xepel says, "With duets and trios you can do even more."

Jeanne says, "I don't see often enough of those."

Xepel says, "It's hard... you need lots of bards in the same spot
;)"
Xepel says, "Usually you can find one or two... but trios are hard
to do unless you have enough bards... with the right
instruments..."

Jeanne says, "I see lots of bards that I have never heard play."

Xepel says, "Yeah... that saddens me sometimes"
Xepel says, "I'll see people with gold bard belts that I've never
heard play."
Xepel says, "And I wonder why they wanted to be a bard...."
Xepel says, "I just think bards should share their music."
Xepel says, "Share it with others..."
(Xepel shrugs)
Xepel says, "Some bards think they aren't "good enough""
Xepel says, "A lot do, I think."
Xepel exclaims, "But, if they made it to bard, they've shown talent
enough!"
Xepel says, "... then again, you may not hear some because they
don't like playing for crowds"
Xepel says, "I know some bards that will only play in privacy..."
Xepel says, "So you won't hear them in town square playing"
(Xepel shrugs)
Xepel says, "it's their choice..."

Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne asks, "What do you use for inspiration?"

Xepel says, "Oooo.. hard one."
Xepel says, "Usually I think of what I'm trying to make the piece
sound like."
Xepel says, "For Melabrion's contest, I tried to write something
dark and deep"
Xepel says, "Other times... I come up with a tune.. and then come
up with other parts for it"
Xepel says, "It's a bit sporadic..."
Xepel says, "Can't always tell when I'm going to have
inspiration..."
Xepel ponders, "I should get me a muse..."
Xepel says, "Commissions make me work harder, though, even
if I don't have the inspiration ;)"

Jeanne asks, "maybe because the clients have a song already
in mind?"

Xepel says, "Sometimes they do."
Xepel says, "Sometimes... it's harder."
Xepel says, "I can't read their thoughts, I don't always know what
they want..."
Xepel says, "But I try to get them to give me details about how
they want it to sound"
Xepel says, "It's easier to create a song within certain bounds
than to create one from scratch..."
Xepel says, "At least I think so, in a way."

Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "What do you do when people mistake you for a
healer?"

Xepel exclaims, "Ack!"
Xepel says, "That hasn't happened in a while."
Xepel says, "But it *has* happened before"
Xepel says, "They'll ask me why I'm not helping to heal the fallen
or something..."
Xepel says, "I don't know. Its probably because of my aqua
clothing... right.."
Xepel says, "Not exactly like turquoise, but something like it."

Jeanne asks, "so what do you do?"

Xepel says, "I just tell them I'm a fighter, not a healer, and then
they end up feeling embarrassed ;)"
Xepel says, "Sometimes I try to do it in a more indirect manner..."
Xepel says, "Just so they realize the mistake without me telling
them =)"
Xepel exclaims, "I was once put on a list as a 4th circle healer...
hah!"
Xepel says, "That better not happen again ;)"

Jeanne asks, "how do you do it indirectly?"

Xepel says, "I'll put on my 3rd circle fighter belt..."
Xepel says, "Well, erm, not anymore"
(Xepel got rid of that thing a while ago...)
Xepel says, "I think so. I may have just dropped it, or gave it away,
or something"
Xepel says, "It was taking up too much room in my pack"
Xepel says, "Or I'll just point them to my info... which does say
that I'm a fighter, if they look close enough..."

Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "Besides your aqua and barding ability, what
would you like to be known for?"

Xepel says, "Well... a few things, I guess..."
Xepel says, "My defensive abilities are fairly good..."
Xepel says, "I should be getting a Detha ledger in not too long of
a time..."

Jeanne asks, "how much do you have?"

Xepel says, "Over 550 lessons"
Xepel says, "But a few people have ledgers already, so it'll take a
while longer"
Xepel says, "I'm trying to get myself involved with the
'brions....researching them, finding more about the 'brions
themselves, while other people research the ether"
Xepel says, "I'm fairly 'pro-brion'...."
Xepel says, "I don't think they will affect us negatively in any
way..."
Xepel ponders, "In any big way, at least..."

Jeanne asks, "'pro-brion' meaning that you want to be their allies
and not their enemies if possible?"

(Xepel nods)
Xepel says, "Very much so."
Xepel says, "I'd not like to go to war with them..."

Jeanne asks, "have you been accused of being an enemy of
Puddleby?"

Xepel says, "No, I've not... which is a good thing."
Xepel says, "The Brion brothers trust me, for the most part. I've
received a pass key.. which is useful... and I trust them, for the
most part."
Xepel says, "They have a lot of knowledge that could be shared."
Xepel says, "I think I'm a bit too willing to trust them... but they
have not shown me any reason not to."
Xepel says, "Their teleportation skills... ether manipulation..."
Xepel says, "We *do* trespass frequently on their property..."
Xepel says, "I'm amazed they don't retaliate any more than they
do... which is not much."
Xepel says, "Everyone is concentrating on ether studies..."
Xepel says, "Few are concentrating on the 'brions"

Jeanne says, "Now you can ask the Fishwrap reporter ONE (1)
question."

Xepel ponders, "Ooo... hrm, hrm...."
(Xepel thinks hard)
Xepel asks, "Who is your most and least favorite 'brion, and
why?"

Jeanne says, "hmm, I admit to not knowing or seeing much of
them, especially the recent ones"
Jeanne says, "I should really know more about them but I doubt
I'd have any contact with them."
Jeanne says, "Umbrion has been helpful with his tools"
Jeanne says, "giving us the ability to learn more about the
ethereal plane"
Jeanne says, "I'd put him #1"

Xepel asks, "And least trustworthy?"

Jeanne says, "I think that Tenebrion's desire for purgatory
pendants worries me."
Jeanne says, "wondering what he'll do with them"
Jeanne says, "Tenebrion is the most dangerous"
Jeanne says, "maybe not because he wants to be"
Jeanne says, "but because his studies are the most dangerous"
Jeanne says, "if he studies death"
Jeanne says, "that's very powerful"
Jeanne says, "death and destruction go hand-in-hand"
Jeanne says, "and I doubt they are as wise and all-knowing as
they make themselves out to be"
Jeanne says, "although they are wiser than many of us"

Xepel says, "Probably wiser than nearly all of us.."
Xepel says, "It would be nice to get a few copies of the books
they have..."
Xepel says, "A few, like Sombrion, think exiles are too inferior to
talk to..."
Xepel says, "But most don't."

Jeanne says, "humph"
Jeanne says, "live a few centuries and you think you're better
than everyone else"

(Xepel chuckles.)
Xepel says, "Well, that's what *they* think..."

#####
A NOTE ABOUT THE MIRROR
BY MONOLITH

Dear Mr. Paramedic Fishwrap Editor Sir,

I found this scrap of parchment near the south forest hospital.
Do with it as you will. I think it might be important.

/the top part is torn off

...sun, glaring, burning, I can barely move today. I hope I can find
that oasis again or I will surely die today. I'm going to try and
catch a carrion bird and attach this letter to it in hopes that
someone will find it.

I've been trapped here for years now. I have no idea why the
mirror that I entered from just glares back at me now, it still looks
the same, but I can't enter it, not that I haven't tried. Gaia! I've
managed to kill about 40 sand tigers since the mirror closed to
me, but they keep coming back, no they don't taste like chicken.

I've set noise traps near the mirror, just in case someone comes
through. If only I could just get news of Puddleby. I stay in the
tents that have been near the mirror as long as I remember, I
have no clue who put them up, but they are durable and serve
well enough as protection from the heat of day and the cold of
night.

I swear that damned oasis moves. I've managed to make some
water skins out of the sand tiger skins I have collected over the
years. I tried living in the oasis for a time, but the paranoia that I
would miss someone coming through the mirror was too strong.
I wonder if the other mirrors are impassable too. It must be so
as there used to be many hunting parties here and in the other
lands accessible by the mirrors. I wonder if that wizard who
appeared near the courtyard inside the great mirror had anything
to do with this. I should have paid more attention to his
blabbering.

Found the oasis again, filled my skins. It never ceases to amaze
me, the amount of life here when all else is dead except for sand
tigers, scorpions and carrion birds. Now for my trek back to the
tents.

I stumbled upon the desert well again, it's filled with sand and
the deeper I dig, the more fruitless it seems. Every time I seem
to make progress the growls of the sand tigers approaching
bring me back to my senses and by the time I'm done fighting
them the winds have filled the well up with sand again. I'd rather
fight the hundreds of undine in the well than spend another day
in this barren waste land.

I pray to Gaia that someone finds this note. Someone must know
that I am here. Someone must be trying to reopen the mirrors
that brought me here. Someone...

/the bottom part is torn off as well

--

Monolith The Good
Clan GDI - Keeper of Ferocious Squirrels

#####
ALGERNON'S GUARDIAN VISITS PUDDLEBY
BY WORLDWALKER

Para,

Keeper, Algernon's guardian from the Puddleby Home, made a
rare public appearance in Town this evening.

Algernon had a particularly hard several days, being PND for a
long, long time, undergoing several rescues from distant places
where he had been chained to, and two successful court cases
filed on his behalf against Shepherd for abusing him.

Keeper came out to talk a little about Algy's history, and to thank
those who help Algy. As keeper said, "All he needs from his
friends in town is their protection and affection."

Full text of Keeper's visit follows.

-WorldWalker

Keeper is now Clanning.
Algernon exclaims, "Tywani Cagga!"
(WorldWalker waves goodnight to Algernon)
Loila says, "Algy Can you say Loila? L o i la..."
Habbakuk Lal says, "lol"
Habbakuk Lal says, "that's a tough one"
WorldWalker exclaims, "Good night Algy!"
(Keeper smiles indulgently at Algernon.)
(Algernon smiles.)
Mephisto says, "Funny, Sephorus. You said Keeper had black
hair."
(Algernon smiles.)
Sephorus says, "I have a fuzzy memory"
(Mephisto chortles.)
Sephorus says, "Seen one sylvan, you've seen 'em all :)"
WorldWalker says, "Hello Keeper"
Keeper exclaims, "Hello!"
Keeper is a Sylvan, is male, is an exile, and is not wearing the
symbol of any clan.
His hands are empty.
Keeper has 2 good karma.
Kyoujin exclaims, "Algy look! it's Keeper!"
WorldWalker says, "I am pleased to at last meet you"
Naferu asks, "Algernon, do you recognize Keeper?"
Loila asks, "so you going to be ok here Algy?"
WorldWalker says, "Algy has had a very busy day"
Mephisto says, "Keeper.."
(Loila hugs Algy)
(Algernon smiles and hugs back.)
Kyoujin says, "Algy say Keeper"
(Algernon smiles at Keeper.)
Kyoujin says, "Algy say Keeper"
Loila says, "Bye Algy - hope you have fun with the feather"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Algy say Tyranis Calgar"
WorldWalker says, "We've done all we could to help him"
Tyranis Calgar says, "oh well.."
(Thornin grins)
Mephisto asks, "Keeper..was it you that pressured Algernon to
change his name?"
Keeper asks, "Pressured him?"
(Mephisto shivers at saying 'Algernon'.)
Keeper says, "No, no."
Mephisto says, "He seemed happy with the name Idiot Savant.."
Keeper says, "You see, the Marsh Hermit is his adoptive father."
(Loila smiles at Algy)
Kyoujin says, "Algy, say Kyoujin"
Keeper says, "Eventually, the hermit became a little...well, not
really responsible enough to take care of a youngster like
Algernon."
Tyranis Calgar says, "Algy say tyranis calgar"
Keeper says, "So we at the Puddleby Home took Algernon in."
Tyranis Calgar says, "I think algy is drawing.."
Mephisto says, "Keeper"
(Tyranis Calgar hands Algy a cookie..)
Keeper says, "We didn't know his real name, and the Hermit was
too far gone to tell us."
Mephisto asks, "Where is the Puddleby Home?"
Tyranis Calgar says, "yep.."
Kyoujin says, "Algy, say Kyoujin"
Tyranis Calgar says, "Algy is not responding.."
Keeper says, "So we called him Idiot Savant, because of course
he is one."
Tyranis Calgar says, "he is sleeping sorta.."
Naferu says, "algernon say "stop bugging me I've said your
name in my own cute little way already!""
Kyoujin asks, "Algy whatcha doing?"
Mephisto says, "I'd like to know, so I can enroll Loila here."
Keeper says, "In my professional opinion, Loila isn't in need of
our services."
(Valiant cleans Algy's mouth with his handkerchief)
Kyoujin says, "Naferu, say Kyoujin"
Mephisto says, "Well she ran off when I mentioned enrolling
her.."
(Keeper smiles.)
WorldWalker asks, "Keeper, do you think we could teach
Algernon to depart when fallen?"
Kyoujin says, "Naferu, say Kyoujin"
(Valiant cleans Algy's nose)
Sephorus says, "That'd be a bad idea Wowaka"
Tyranis Calgar says, "yeah.."
Keeper says, "You're all so kind to Algernon. He's improved so
much since he's been coming out to visit town."
Kyoujin says, "Naferu, say Kyoujin"
(WorldWalker smiles)
Kyoujin says, "Naferu, say Kyoujin"
Keeper says, "Teach him to depart? Well, I suppose you could
try."
(Valiant thinks Algy needs a refreshing bath)
Mephisto says, "If Idiot Savant does not have the brain capacity to
count pass twenty, he certainly could not depart."
Sephorus says, "That would be far worse than rescuing him
each time, WorldWalker"
Kyoujin says, "as many as you can"
Sephorus says, "His tormentors would just make him depart
over and over and over and over"
WorldWalker says, "Hmmm"
Kyoujin says, "Naferu, say Kyoujin"
WorldWalker says, "Well"
WorldWalker says, "Maybe we'll just stick with teaching him to
sleep when he is chained"
Habbakuk Lal says, "algy say worldwalker"
Keeper says, "Yes, that would be a concern."
Algernon exclaims, "Wowoka!"
Sephorus says, "He'd never gain another Horus rank again, nor
another Mentus. He'd be permanently stunted"
(Keeper smiles.)
(WorldWalker smiles at his friend Algernon)
Devil says, "not only would we make him depart, we'd give him
so much bk he'd never come out of purg };-)"
Tyranis Calgar asks, "he trains mentus?"
Mephisto asks, "What if there is an invasion? And we need
Algernon's horus? And we need to chain him to the temple?"
Sephorus says, "Yeah"
Mephisto asks, "What then? Eh??"
(Kyoujin chuckles)
Keeper says, "He's learned all sorts of things in his visits to
town."
Mephisto says, "That has happened before.."
Devil says, "*cough* I mean "they" not "we""
(Algernon sniffles unhappily.)
Keeper says, "There there, Algernon."
Thornin says, "algy is like that brother i never had, the one who
could only say the same 20 odd statements over and over"
WorldWalker says, "If Algernon has been chained to Alchemist's
Folly, he is no good to us then."
(Algernon smiles.)
WorldWalker says, "Besides, Algernon is our friend"
Keeper says, "Some people aren't as nice as other people, but
most people are nice."
(Algernon smiles.)
Loila yells, "Bye algy See ya later, Have fun with the feather!"
Kyoujin says, "Algy, say Kyoujin"
Algernon exclaims, "Kee-you-jin!"
Keeper is a Sylvan, is male, is an exile, and is not wearing the
symbol of any clan.
His hands are empty, and he is wearing a shirt and a pair of
pants.
Keeper has 2 good karma.
Kyoujin says, ":)"
Keeper says, "Say, that's a new one."
(Kyoujin nods)
Sephorus says, "It might be a good idea to let him rest a bit"
Keeper asks, "Have you been teaching him?"
Mephisto asks, "Idiot Savant, do you really get anything out of
repeating others' names over and over again?"
Sephorus says, "He's learned a lot tonight."
You gave good karma to Keeper, Thank you for taking such good
care of Algernon :)
(Algernon blinks blankly.)
Keeper says, "That's wonderful."
Keeper says, "He so enjoys learning new things."
WorldWalker exclaims, "And we enjoy teaching him!"
Keeper asks, "You all know about the scrolls of his past
adventures, I hope?"
Tyranis Calgar says, "see you folks.. later.."
Tyranis Calgar says, "algy remember that name of mine.."
Tyranis Calgar says, "=D"
WorldWalker exclaims, "Yes!"
(Habbakuk Lal nods.)
Keeper says, "I have many sketches from more recent years that
I still need to paste onto scrolls."
Thornin says, "i wuv you algy"
(WorldWalker nods)
(Tyranis Calgar hands algy a cookie)
Undertow E'flei exclaims, "Algernon, say sex machine!"
Keeper says, "He sketches a lot, this fellow."
Sephorus ponders, "As well as his current
adventures...http://www.windsofdawn.org/algy/"
(Keeper pats Algernon.)
Devil says, "Algy say sex machine"
Algernon exclaims, "sesmashee!"
Undertow E'flei says, "hehe"
(Sephorus hugs Algernon)
Kyoujin ponders, "it is very late!"
(WorldWalker needs to go, too)
(Keeper blinks.)
Thornin says, "yay"
Keeper ponders, "Who taught him *that*?"
Mephisto says, "heh"
Kyoujin says, "algernon I'm happy you learned my name :)
thanks"
Undertow E'flei says, "I did, I am a bad person."
Thornin says, "you're my new hero"
(Undertow E'flei sighs.)
Keeper says, "A bad person? Well..."
Keeper says, "It seems an odd thing to teach him, true."
(Kyoujin smiles)
Mephisto says, "I'd teach Algernon how to the Worf salute if he
weren't so slow.."
(Kyoujin waves)
(Algernon sniffles unhappily.)
Undertow E'flei says, "Someone else taught him it a long time
ago."
Undertow E'flei says, "I'm not original enough to think of it
myself."
Thornin says, "sex machine"
Thornin says, "algy say sex machine"
Thornin says, "damnit"
Keeper asks, "Isn't the Worf salute banned in most places?"
Devil says, "heh"
Thornin says, "you do devil"
Devil says, "Algy say sex machine"
Mephisto says, "Everything on this island is illegal."
Devil says, "noooo"
Kyoujin is no longer Clanning.
Keeper says, "I remember we once had a resident in the Home
who kept doing something he called a salute."
Mephisto asks, "What's another one-fingered salute going to
do?"
Thornin says, "someone change his batteries"
Undertow E'flei says, "Algy, please say sex machine"
Undertow E'flei says, "Pleeease"
Keeper says, "Thankfully he got better. We were getting tired of
repainting."
(WorldWalker chuckles.)
Algernon exclaims, "sesmashee!"
WorldWalker says, "Keeper, if I can ever be of help with Algernon,
please do not hesitate to ask."
Undertow E'flei exclaims, "Huzzah!"
Koppi yells, "WorldWalker reports: Evil-hearted anti-healers take
note - Algernon is my friend, and he will be AVENGED!"
Mephisto says, "Oh my, look at the time.."
Thornin exclaims, "yes!"
WorldWalker says, "I am at your service."
Keeper says, "All he needs from his friends in town is their
protection and affection."
(Mephisto hands Idiot Savant a dirty sock.)
(WorldWalker nods)
Mephisto says, "Happy Easter."
WorldWalker says, "And that I will do"
WorldWalker says, "you have my word on it"
Undertow E'flei says, "It's about a feeling universal love thing,
baby."
(Algernon sniffs at the sock, then puts it in his pack.)
WorldWalker says, "Algernon, I must be going to study now"
Devil says, "heh"
Thornin says, "you got it"
WorldWalker exclaims, "Good night Algy!"
Keeper says, "He isn't very good at knowing who will treat him
badly."
(WorldWalker nods)
WorldWalker says, "Yes"
WorldWalker says, "He is very trusting"
Keeper says, "He's too trusting, I think, but that's just his way."
WorldWalker says, "It is"
WorldWalker exclaims, "it is what makes him Algy!"
Devil says, "algy do your job dammit"
Thornin says, "yes algy has a very complex personality"
(WorldWalker shakes Keeper's hand)
WorldWalker says, "Thank you for everything"
Marko ponders, ".."
Devil says, "Algy heal Marko"
Keeper asks, "Algernon, why don't you walk west for a bit and go
help Marko there?"
Undertow E'flei says, "Yeah, one time I saw him picking his
nose."
(WorldWalker waves)
/SLEEP when you wish to begin studying.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media
Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones,
Callia, Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kiriel D'Sol, Kirth Gersen, Koric,
K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II,
WorldWalker, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always
looking for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in
Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox
#1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com.

#####
Help us someone, let us out of here
living here so long undisturbed
dreaming of the time we were free
so many years ago
before the time when we first heard
welcome to the Home by the Sea

"Home by the Sea"
- Genesis, "Genesis"

It's time to send in your submissions for the next edition of
Fishwrap.

Also, please feel free to send along news items or pictures for
inclusion in the TMN news updates at thoomcare.com.

Thoom

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Smells like fish; tastes like paper"

Issue #48: "The Sheriff and the Juliusaur"
[May 15, 2002]
Circulation: 190

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Interview with a Sheriff
* The Juliusaur
* The Light-Buyer
* Exile on the Street
* Horoscopes

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* The Dwarven Militia
http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/
* Fierce and Furry - The Adventures of Hor!
http://www.fierceandfurry.de/

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

A Trip to the Abyss
Vermine Invasion in South Farms
Juliusaur Attacks Puddleby
New Map of Puddleby Island
Sielk Reports on Kismia's Island
Norm's Rock Collection
Fat Alice Returns
Aravir's Notebook
Changes to the Dark Temple
Hunting at the Lyfe Cave
Fat Alice Missing

for more information on the above stories, see thoomcare.com:

http://www.thoomcare.com

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in common, dwarven, people, or
sylvan!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 180 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

I've made a couple of important changes in the ways that I distribute
information.

My clan's new Web scroll is now available at

http://www.thoomcare.com

The front page of thoomcare.com features news from the ThoomCare Media
Network. New news items will be posted regularly to this scroll. This
scroll will now make posting important news more efficient and timely.

Fishwrap will no longer contain extensive news links because
thoomcare.com will serve that purpose more effectively. Fishwrap will
now be dedicated to longer articles and interviews, truer to its name,
Fishwrap Magazine.

Please come visit thoomcare.com. I'm updating it regularly, and hope to
make it an important source for news for exiles. If you'd like to
submit some news or pictures to the ThoomCare Media Network, just email
them to me at thoomcare.com.

- Para

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH NOIVAD
BY PARAMEDIC

Paramedic says, "Readers, this issue we have an interview with the
sheriff of Puddleby, Noivad."
Noivad says, "it's all about the community"
Paramedic says, "Welcome, Noivad"
Noivad exclaims, "Hi Para!"
Paramedic says, "You know the routine. I have 5 questions for you."
Noivad says, "ok"
Paramedic asks, "1) What's the state of law enforcement today in
Puddleby?"
Noivad says, "Well it's ok, I guess, but there's a big problem"
Paramedic asks, "really?"
Noivad says, "yes"
Noivad says, "people aren't reporting crimes"
(Paramedic nods)
Noivad says, "ya see, a lot of people think they can fix their problems
themselves by flaming the other party which makes things worse.
Noivad says, "when what they really need is a good moderator"
Paramedic asks, "and people don't turn to you as often as you'd like?"
Noivad says, "You've seen me in action, when I'm not taking sniper
shots I'm a pretty fair guy"
Noivad says, "I've been able to solve a few disputes here and there
when people do come to me"
Paramedic asks, "From where you derive your authority? Are you a self-
appointed sheriff?"
Noivad says, "most definitely"
Noivad says, "well kinda"
Noivad says, "Marfisa and I had a campaign that lasted well over a
year"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes"
Noivad says, "and then eventually people started calling me sheriff"
Noivad says, "so self appointed? yes."
Paramedic asks, "And now, she's vanished....you had nothing to do with
that, right?"
Noivad says, "um, no comment"
(Noivad winks)
(Paramedic nods suspiciously)
Paramedic asks, "So, law enforcement is still in a rough stage here in
exile?"
Noivad says, "yes"
Noivad says, "a genuine frontier town"
Paramedic asks, "Do you see things getting better?"
Noivad says, "Maybe"
Noivad says, "I've appointed 5 deputies"
Noivad says, "maybe 6"
Paramedic asks, "do they help?"
Noivad says, "I think so"
Noivad says, "they rarely file reports"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Noivad says, "Tessa or was it... Lumina, or one of them wanted to do a
scroll"
(Paramedic listens)
Noivad says, "If I had the chops I would have prepared a scroll where
you could report things"
Paramedic says, "Scroll work can be time-consuming."
Noivad says, "The problem is finding someone who is good at that scroll
work and is willing to become a deputy"
Noivad asks, "maybe we should chain Vagile to the sheriff's office?"
Noivad says, "Make her do all the work like she did on that other
scroll"
Noivad says, "though, I must say, Thuja doing it would be awesome"
Noivad says, "she does nice work"

Court Abuse

Paramedic asks, "2) What is your assessment of the Puddleby court
system?"
Noivad asks, "the courts?"
Noivad says, "Mainly abused"
Paramedic asks, "abused?"
Noivad says, "people making bs cases to pull other people out of hunts"
Noivad says, "or people making nuisance cases that just take people's
time"
Paramedic says, "that's not good"
Noivad says, "no it's not"
Noivad says, "that's why I wish Chum would implement the "Hang 'em
both" verdict and the selective banishment from the right to make
claims"
Paramedic says, "I was always struck by the fact that when Tarf killed
an ambassador, it never even went to court"
Noivad exclaims, "me too!"
Paramedic says, "Innocent or guilty, the trial should have been
conducted"
Noivad says, "he shoulda done hard time"
Noivad says, "with a prison mate named bubba"
Noivad says, "Actually, I was pretty pissed off at Tarf for a long time
over that"
Paramedic says, "Many exiles were unhappy with that situation"
Noivad says, "Tarf did get an informal trial"
Noivad says, "look at the way people treated him for months after that"
Noivad says, "he was pretty much a leper for a good few months"
Paramedic says, "You don't see Tarf much these days."
Noivad says, "No you don't. I think that's because he has chosen to
keep a lower profile"
Paramedic says, "Some say he has gone into a self-imposed exile from
exiles"
Noivad says, "yeah I'd buy that"

Brion Brothers

Paramedic asks, "3) What do you think of Tenebrion and his brothers?"
Noivad says, "Well, they're a group, and you can't make sweeping
generalizations on a group"
Noivad says, "Though to tell the truth, I've never seen them act in a
way that would make me distrust them"
Noivad says, "I don't like any of them, but I don't really know any of
them"
Paramedic asks, "have you been to their islands?"
Noivad says, "yes, many times"
Noivad says, "I even got a portal stone from one of them"
Noivad says, "so long as I agreed that while I had it I'd stay off
their lands"
Paramedic says, "Trespassing is not good"
Noivad says, "I don't have it anymore, so it's ok for me to go"
Noivad says, "that agreement really put a kink in my ability to go on
hunts"
(Paramedic nods)
Noivad says, "people would always invite me and I'd have to decline"
Noivad says, "it sucked, it was a bad decision to agree to those terms"
Paramedic says, "speaking of hunts..."

Hunting with the Sheriff

Paramedic asks, "4) Where are your favorite hunting places these days?"
Noivad says, "Well, I like hunting in the Scarmis Queen Chamber"
Noivad says, "when I can get in a good group"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes....a very dangerous and exciting place"
Noivad says, "the valley is always fun, so long as it's not
overpowered"
Paramedic says, "The valley is a fun challenge"
Paramedic asks, "5) What is your fighting strategy, Noivad? Weapon of
choice, shield, etc?"
Noivad says, "my strategy is to flow like water"
Noivad says, "Babajaga calls it dancing"
Noivad says, "but I'm much more fluid than she is"
Paramedic says, "So, you like to keep the beasties on their toes"
Noivad says, "Notice I run in circles and strike enemies from all
sides, clearing the way for other fighters to get hits in"
Noivad says, "a lot of my fighter training, meaning how I train
fighters, revolves around keeping out of each other's way to ...."
Noivad says, "more efficiently and effectively hunt"
Noivad says, "if you notice, I step out of people's way and never stand
where I might interfere with other people's movement if at all
possible"
Noivad says, "that's why I expect the same of others"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Is there a beast you hate the most?"
Noivad asks, "hmmm?"
Noivad exclaims, "not really, oh wait!"
Noivad says, "GCP"
(Paramedic listens)
Noivad says, "rats"
Noivad says, "vermine"
Noivad says, "nuisance beasties"
Noivad says, "not because I'm unbalanced like some people and can only
swing once a day,"
Noivad says, "but because they really provide no challenge - no fun, no
exp"
(Paramedic nods)
Noivad says, "they just clutter up the landscape, making noise and
making you have to deal with them"
Noivad says, "oh BTW, my favourite weapon is the GA,"
Paramedic asks, "GA?"
Noivad says, "it rocks"
Noivad says, "Great Axe"
Noivad says, "If you've trained right it can be a great weapon"
Paramedic says, "As you know, at the end of the interview you are
allowed to ask the thoom ONE (1) question"
Paramedic says, "that's 1 (ONE) question"
Noivad says, "hmm one question....."
(Paramedic waits)
Noivad says, "I'm thinking"
Noivad says, "I want to make it good"
Noivad asks, "why do you do the Fishwrap, and what do you get out of
it?"
Paramedic says, "Good question."
Noivad says, "thanks"
Noivad says, "I think the readers want to know about the thoom behind
the news"
Paramedic says, "I do the Fishwrap because it provides exiles with
information and knowledge they need in a dangerous world"
(Noivad nods)
Noivad says, "It seems to"
Paramedic says, "Fishwrap is very much in keeping with Thoom values of
knowledge and learning"
Paramedic says, "And what do I get out of it? I gain access to this
source of information. Also, Fishwrap has helped to augment my
otherwise meager healer's income."
Noivad asks, "Is personal satisfaction a big part of that equation?"
Paramedic says, "Definitely. I enjoy putting it together, but it takes
a lot of time and I wish I could do it more often"
Noivad says, "I'm sure many appreciate your efforts"
Paramedic says, "I hope so."
Paramedic says, "Thanks Noivad, for an excellent interview"
Noivad says, "thank you Paramedic"

#####
SOULMASTER ON THE JULIUSAUR
INTERVIEWED BY JEANNE

Soulmaster says, "Julius was just an ona chigger, I caught him years
ago. You see, Maz was in town, sitting right here, in fact"
Soulmaster says, "he was talking to Babajaga"
Soulmaster says, "I don't know what about"
Soulmaster says, "I said hi to Maz and sat down"
Soulmaster says, "I thought it would be great to take out my new ona
chigger, we all know how frightened Babajaga is of bugs"

Jeanne says, "I didn't know that."

Soulmaster says, "she may deny it, but oh ho ho"

Jeanne says, "even beetles?"

Soulmaster says, "yep"

Jeanne says, "must make valley trips interesting"

Soulmaster says, "on hunts, look closely, she'll turn bright red
whenever they're around"

Soulmaster says, "that's beside the fact though"
Soulmaster says, "anyways"
Soulmaster says, "so I took out Julius' cage... with Julius in it"
Soulmaster says, "Maz, being the icorrigible jokester he is"
Soulmaster says, "thought it would be funny to open the cage"
Soulmaster says, "so he did..."
Soulmaster says, "and obviously, Julius jumped out of the cage"
Soulmaster says, "he started to attack Maz"
Soulmaster says, "then Zaroff saw him, and being... Zaroff"
Soulmaster says, "he cut him down coldly"
Soulmaster says, "but Julius being of infinite wisdom, departed!"
Soulmaster says, "in purgatory he mutated into a super strong and smart
ona chigger"

Jeanne says, "When did this happen?"

Soulmaster says, "oh, 6 years ago I think"
Soulmaster says, "of course, I didn't hear anything from Julius for the
longest time"
Soulmaster says, "little did I know he was gathering his forces in the
Puddleby underground"
Soulmaster says, "he sent a few of not so smart ona chigger generals
up"
Soulmaster says, "they were quickly defeated though.."
Soulmaster says, "there was Juliet... Augustus.."
Soulmaster says, "Orange Julius"
Soulmaster says, "the latest one was Yulius"

Jeanne says, "so did they look like regular ona chiggers?"

Soulmaster says, "yeah"
Soulmaster says, "they all looked the same"

Jeanne says, "were they tougher?"

Soulmaster says, "the chigger was a little tougher"

Jeanne says, "and when you killed them, you got a "You slaughtered <
name>" instead of "You slaughtered an Ona Chigger"?"

Soulmaster says, "yeah"

Soulmaster says, "there were also some bioengineered chiggers"
Soulmaster says, "the first of the bioengineered chiggers was the
chiggeroid"
Soulmaster says, "quite frankly I couldn't tell the difference between
that and a normal chigger.."
Soulmaster says, "but anyways.."
Soulmaster says, "then there was the chugger, that one make people
drunk"
Soulmaster says, "like herpetids"
Soulmaster says, "the strongest one was the Julius slave"
Soulmaster says, "it hit as hard as an orga wrath"
Soulmaster says, "but it really didn't have any strength in the other
areas"
Soulmaster says, "so it didn't last long"
Soulmaster says, "then there were two special ones"
Soulmaster says, "Julius' mundane twin brother Timmy.."
Soulmaster says, "followed me around, but ran off to south forest"
Soulmaster says, "I'm unsure of what happened to him"
Soulmaster says, "we may yet hear from him again"
Soulmaster says, "and in the same raid as that one, was a chigger
Ayella called.. Digger"
Soulmaster says, "why, I'm not sure, but whatever"
Soulmaster says, "that one walked around attacking people, but it was
ethereal"
Soulmaster says, "no nobody could attack it"
Soulmaster says, "eventually it materialized and some guy killed him"
Soulmaster says, "off the subject of the kinds of chiggers.."
Soulmaster says, "there have been many raids"
Soulmaster says, "they usually aren't publicized because they aren't
very hard to put down"

Jeanne says, "raids where?"

Soulmaster says, "right in town, usually on the garden down there"

Jeanne says, "oh... what sort of raid?"

Soulmaster says, "well, usually they would pop up out of chigger holes"
Soulmaster says, "Julius would do some laughing and such, from inside
his tunnels"

Jeanne says, "oh..... what does? ona chiggers?"

Soulmaster says, "just plain chiggers"
Soulmaster says, "they attacked maybe a half dozen times"

Aravir says, "the first venomous chiggers appeared like that"

Jeanne says, "I never have heard of such a thing."

Soulmaster says, "then, with Digger and Timmy, arrived the venomous
ones"

Jeanne says, "when did Digger and Timmy appear?"

Soulmaster says, "on one of the raids"
Soulmaster says, "also when the Julius slave appeared"

Jeanne says, "ah, when did that happen thereabouts?"

Soulmaster says, "a few months ago, maybe.."

Soulmaster says, "and coincidentally, this was the first time venomous
chiggers appeared"
Soulmaster says, "they didn't have their shiny yellow shells though"

Jeanne says, "oh, so the first venomous ona chiggers were red too?"

Soulmaster says, "yes"

Soulmaster says, "a number of weeks later came the yellow ones"
Soulmaster says, "me and Sutai first saw those maybe a few months ago"

WorldWalker says, "for a while the venomous red ones were in East
Field"

Soulmaster says, "Julius thought to me, using a sunstone, that his
secret lair was under ash island"
Soulmaster says, "I realize the irony..."
Soulmaster says, "telling me where his secret lair was"

Jeanne says, "even monsters have sunstones now?"

Soulmaster says, "you've seen t'rools with sunstones, haven't you?"

Jeanne says, "no"

Soulmaster says, "well there have been..."
Soulmaster says, "so me and Sutai went to look with a small party,
Rutabaga was the only fighter"
Soulmaster says, "of course"
Soulmaster says, "that was the first time we met with the yellow ones"
Soulmaster says, "the venomous chiggers of today"
Soulmaster says, "they beat us back very fast!"
Soulmaster says, "we were no match for these new chiggers"
Soulmaster says, "so we were forced to retreat"
Soulmaster says, "as we ran away, we could hear Julius laughing at us"
Soulmaster says, "maybe a week ago, there was a raid, but this time it
was all venomous chiggers"

Jeanne says, "under ash island?"

Soulmaster says, "on the lawn down there"

Jeanne says, "oh...."
Jeanne says, "they popped up out of chigger holes?"

Soulmaster says, "yes"
Soulmaster says, "and soon after that, Julius had us going to ash
island"
Soulmaster says, "we headed through the scarmis lair, following the
trail of chiggers"
Soulmaster says, "taking a detour to kill the queen"
Soulmaster says, "there were masses of chiggers inside"
Soulmaster says, "by the time we got through, he, and whatever he had,
had escaped"
Soulmaster says, "we headed back, having learned that his lair was
somewhere past the scarmis"
Soulmaster says, "then, a few days after that"
Soulmaster says, "maybe one or two"
Soulmaster says, "there was a chigger raid on town, venomous ones
mostly"
Soulmaster says, "Julius sunstoned me, telling me he wants us to build
him a temple!"
Soulmaster says, "the tallest thing in Puddleby!"
Soulmaster says, "he said if we didn't, he would destroy town"
Soulmaster says, "then, just yesterday, as you know we met the
Juliosaur, but there were events leading up to it"
Soulmaster says, "me and Sutai were sitting in town"
Soulmaster says, "Julius sunstoned to me.."
Soulmaster says, "'come to my garden maze to find my greatest
creation'"
Soulmaster says, "of course, we assumed it was the maze past the
scarmis pit"
Soulmaster says, "but, alas"
Soulmaster says, "there weren't enough fighters or healers to get us
there"
Soulmaster says, "so we went to ash island and looked around, then came
quickly back"
Soulmaster says, "when we got back, two chiggers spawned that were
attacking rats"
Soulmaster says, "and even a wendecka"

Jeanne says, "back to town?"

Soulmaster says, "yes"

Jeanne says, "there was a wendecka in town?"

(Soulmaster nods)
Soulmaster says, "the wendecka ran to west town, and started running
and trampling rats!"
Soulmaster says, "it ran right over them!"
Soulmaster says, "then it got to the docks"
Soulmaster says, "and jumped into the water"
Soulmaster says, "....but wendecka can't swim.."
Soulmaster says, "then we got back to town"
Soulmaster says, "one of the two chiggers I spoke of early.."
Soulmaster says, "he was attacking rats at the time, and we followed it
to west town"
Soulmaster says, "then we followed him to the docks, then through the
ocean"
Soulmaster says, "then to ash island, then to the area outside the
scarmis pit"
Soulmaster says, "we have a few fighters and healers, but not enough to
continue"
Soulmaster says, "the chigger waited for us!"

Jeanne says, "so this ona chigger got on a boat? how do you know it
went to ash island?"

Soulmaster says, "he swam"
Soulmaster says, "like a shredder"

Jeanne says, "ooooh, so you saw it on the water?"

Soulmaster says, "just went into the ocean"
Soulmaster says, "yup"
Soulmaster says, "we sat there and waited, outside the walls near the
scarmis pit.."
Soulmaster says, "a valley hunt got out, and they went to help us"
Soulmaster says, "so then we pressed on"
Soulmaster says, "we followed the chigger through the first part of the
pit, to the northwest chamber"
Soulmaster says, "we had Iho run things, while Mr FancyPants and Falken
I think kudzued"
Soulmaster says, "then we followed the chigger through to the maze"
Soulmaster says, "oh yes, I forgot"
Soulmaster says, "you know the wendecka?"
Soulmaster says, "we think that may mean there is a chigger/wendecka
alliance"
Soulmaster says, "yes, it drowned"
Soulmaster says, "I'm sure we'll find out though"

Jeanne says, "so why do you think there's an alliance?"
Jeanne says, "do you think the wendecka was trying to make way to ash
island?"

(Soulmaster nods)
Soulmaster says, "and it ran out of the temple while we were pushing
around a small chigger"
Soulmaster says, "interrogating it"
Soulmaster says, "anyways"
Soulmaster says, "back at Julius' Garden Maze"
Soulmaster says, "we followed the chigger through there"
Soulmaster says, "there were many twists and turns.."
Soulmaster says, "we lost it at one point, but it came back, and we
continued following it"
Soulmaster says, "at one point it even seemed lost, which is strange"
Soulmaster says, "I guess chiggers don't have the best sense of
direction"
Soulmaster says, "anyways"
Soulmaster says, "it got back on course.."
Soulmaster says, "and soon, we met up.. with the Juliosaur!"
Soulmaster says, "the Juliosaur was a monster of immense power"
Soulmaster says, "with it spawned many venomous chiggers and red
chiggers"
Soulmaster says, "it almost defeated us more than once"
Soulmaster says, "but with kudzu and clever chaining we all got out"
Soulmaster says, "but, to mock us, it dropped a tombstone"
Soulmaster says, "it said "Defeated by Chiggers""
Soulmaster says, "it may even still be there"

Jeanne says, "where was it dropped?"

Soulmaster says, "near the centaur zodiac stone"
Soulmaster says, "and a strange NPC that had snow at her feet"

Jeanne says, "what was her name and what did she say?"

Soulmaster says, "she didn't say anything, we couldn't get to her"
Soulmaster says, "and her name escapes me.."

Jeanne says, "just a minor detail"

Soulmaster says, "we ran away screaming like little babies"
Soulmaster says, "not even scratching the mammoth creation"
Soulmaster says, "finally we got back to town"
Soulmaster says, "we thought it was over.."

Jeanne says, "I think I saw you all come in."
Jeanne says, "You seemed relieved to be in town."
Jeanne says, "I saw Sutai kiss the ground."

Soulmaster says, "but then, the Juliosaur burrowed up from the ground
on the lawn!"
Soulmaster says, "of course, we were all surprised"
Soulmaster says, "I'm sure, as you saw, many fools went to attack it,
with great failure"
Soulmaster says, "lots of chiggers attacked as well"
Soulmaster says, "it was never even scratched"

Jeanne says, "It was green once for a few seconds."
Jeanne says, "then it troilused"

Soulmaster says, "they tried many many times to kill it with boosts"
Soulmaster says, "it had unbelievable troilus!"

Jeanne says, "I saw Zorton try a few times."

Soulmaster says, "it hit harder than a hatred many times"
Soulmaster says, "nobody could hit it no matter what"
Soulmaster says, "eventually I had to leave"
Soulmaster says, "and and the last I heard of it is that it was lead to
the east forest"
Soulmaster says, "it probably burrowed back into the tunnels"

Jeanne says, "I can't believe it would die to natural causes."

Soulmaster says, "neither could I"

Jeanne says, "I'm sure that we haven't heard the last from Julius
either."

Soulmaster says, "it's probably in Julius' secret underground lair on
ash island"
Soulmaster says, "and I don't doubt that we saw the only Juliosaur"
Soulmaster says, "and Julius may yet make creations stronger than
that!"

Jeanne says, "I heard that Madcat talked to Julius. Is that true?"

Soulmaster says, "I take everything that Madcat says with a grain of
salt.."
Soulmaster says, "while I suppose it could be true.."
Soulmaster says, "I have heard no proof to coroborate his story"

Jeanne says, "I doubted it but thought that I should ask you for
confirmation."
Jeanne says, "I'll have to talk to him to see what he says."
Jeanne says, "I'll certainly take it with a grain of salt though."
Jeanne says, "As you're a far more reputable source for information."

(Soulmaster smiles)
Soulmaster says, "Julius isn't keen on showing his face"
Soulmaster says, "and he probably would have done it when we all were
there"

Jeanne says, "Do you have any idea of what Julius looks like? Does he
look like Julisaur?"

Soulmaster says, "I'm not positive"
Soulmaster says, "he's probably a larger form of the juliosaur"
Soulmaster says, "much meaner looking as well"

Jeanne says, "and probably even tougher"

(Soulmaster nods)
Soulmaster says, "and faster.."

Jeanne says, "I don't look forward to that battle."

Soulmaster says, "neither do I"
Soulmaster says, "but it will come"

Jeanne says, "If we can't take out the minion, we won't be able to take
out the boss"

Soulmaster says, "Julius is bent on the destruction of Puddleby, and
taking over the world"

Jeanne says, "At least it doesn't have tiny goals."

(Soulmaster chuckles)

Jeanne says, "That was certainly a deeper story than I thought."
Jeanne says, "This didn't just happen overnight."

Soulmaster says, "not at all"

Jeanne says, "I had no idea that all of those things happened."

Soulmaster says, "Sutai has seen more of it than anyone else"
Soulmaster says, "you may want to ask him about his take on it"

Jeanne says, "really? I'll have to ask him about that"
Jeanne says, "your information has been splendid"

#####
THE LIGHT-BUYER
A FEN FABLE
TRANSLATED BY ODESSEUS THE FEN

High in the hills of Norlan there lived a small family of a father and
his three kits. The father had little land and was joined with no
prowls, so he had a difficult time finding enough for his young kits to
eat. The kits were lackluster and getting ill. The father fretted, but
he had no food and nothing to trade for any healing herbs.

That night, before a small fire, he prayed to the Light-Buyer* to come
and take his light in exchange for well-being. The Light-Buyer appeared
before him with his long claws and dripping teeth. He looked hungrily
at the fen-father. The fen-father said "O, Light-Buyer, please, I will
exchange my light for the welfare of my hungry kits!" The Light-Buyer
smiled, a nasty, crooked grimace and said, "Ah, well, so you shall have
what you need. I will come for your light when I'm ready." With that,
the Light-Buyer vanished, although his red-glowing eyes hung in the air
a second longer, evilly mirthful, before vanishing. The father shivered
and thought to himself "what have I done?"

The next morning dawned clear and bright, and as the fen-father emerged
from the hut he spied a small heard of deer on the edge of the forest.
He picked up his spear and quickly raced after the herd. They fell
before his spear at nearly the slightest touch! And he noticed that his
small barren plot of land was now overrun with game! Giddily, he ran
about looking at all the creatures that stood nearly still for him, and
in his glee, tripped over an outcropping of rock. Looking at the rock,
he saw that had gold ore in it! With the game and the gold, the father-
fen had well means to raise his three kits, and they grew strong and
tall. They went off to different parts of the fen lands to learn
different professions.

Time passed and the fen-father grew older. One night while the father
rested on his mat, the Light-Buyer appeared in the hut, huge and mangy.
His long, dirty claws sheathed and unsheathed. Saliva dripped from his
huge fangs. His eyes glowed a fierce red in the light of an oil lamp.
"I have come for your light." he growled. "But I am yet young!" the fen
father protested. "It does not matter, it is time." said the Light-
Buyer. The Light-Buyer's eyes grew bright and the fen-father began to
fall very ill.

As it so happens, the fen-father's kits, grown up and accomplished,
happened to be visiting their father. Hearing the commotion from their
father's hut, they rushed in to see the looming form of the Light-Buyer
standing over their father, who was writhing in agony. "What goes on
here!" exclaimed one of the kits. Their father, in painful gasps, told
them the story. One kit, a son stepped forward.

"I am one of the reknown healers in the land. If I can ease his pain,
will you let him go?" The Light-Buyer chuckled and said "Fine." The son
concocted many, many fine cures, things that even now we still use to
raise the horribly ill. But no matter the herbs eaten, poultices
applied, the son could not ease his father's pain.

Another kit, a daughter, stepped forward. "I am a reknown warrior. If I
can topple you, will you let my father go?" It was all the Light-Buyer
could do to keep from laughing. "Very well." With a loud rour, the
warrior daughter charged the Light-Buyer. She sprang on him with a
force that would have knocked down a dozen of the finest Y'mar
fighters. Indeed the hut shuddered from the impact. But it was like
running into a mountain. Still again and again she pommeled the Light-
Bringer until she was bruised and bloody. The Light-Buyer had not
budged.

The last kit stepped forward, a tall lithe female. "I am a member of
the People's Senate." This time the Light-Buyer laughed aloud. "So what
can you do?" he said, "Bore me away?" And he laughed again, saliva
flying around the room. She merely shrugged and said "I can do little
compared to my brother and sister, save ask such a great power as
oneself of a small favor." The Light-Buyer smiled the crooked, evil
grimace and said, "And what favor would that be?" The fen pointed to
the oil lamp, now nearly empty of oil. "Do you see that lamp, O, all-
powerful one?" The Light-Buyer snorted "I am not blind." "Well, since
you caught us off-guard, can you restore our father's health for the
time it takes for that oil to burn away? I hear you can be merciful in
such times." The Light-Buyer looked at the lamp, close to guttering and
stroked his mangy beard, but then chuckled to himself. "Very well. As
you say, I can be merciful. But for only as long as it takes for that
oil to burn."  Immediately the fen-father rose up, looking fit and
healthy.

The daughter kit nodded, leaned over and blew out the flame. The room
was cast into total darkness, much to the surprise of all. "You may
leave now, Light-Stealer," came the female's voice from the dark. A
great growl and howl rose up as the Light-Buyer realized he had been
tricked and a great wind whipped through the hut for a moment as the
Light-Buyer departed. After the wind died down, another, smaller light
of a lit piece of kindling sprang forth lighting up the smiling kit's
face. She reached over and capped the lamp and handed it to her father.
"Find a cliff and hurl it off so none may burn the oil." They rejoiced
at the great wisdom their kin had displayed in outsmarting the Light-
Buyer.

The very next day the father fen hurled the lamp from a cliff where it
shattered into thousands of pieces, and lived for a long, great time
from that day forward, enjoying his health and the love of his kits.

-----
* Light-Buyer is a rather rough translation from fen. A fen's light is
that which keeps us alive, the light of life. When we die, our light
goes up to join the stars, which are lights of heroes and great fen of
our past, to rejoice and revel for all eternity. If a fen is terribly
dishonorable or unworthy, their light, instead, sinks down into the
earth, cold and dark for all eternity. Down in the earth are demons
that use the fallen lights to warm themselves and torment the fallen
lights even more. Few fen do fall into the earth, however, so the
Light-Buyer, a corrupt fallen fen, can grant a living fen a favor in
exchange for their light. Since a demon sometimes cannot find a light
to warm and entertain itself with, it sends the Light-Buyer to fetch
one of those who are in debt. Thus comes the nickname "Light-Stealer."

#####
EXILE ON THE STREET
BY CHARLOS

Ogh exclaims, "Hmm!"
(Ogh shrugs)
Charlos says, "20 questions"
Charlos asks, "1: Where is your favorite place to hang out?"
Ogh says, "Hmm?"
Ogh asks, "Charlos mean, for hunt?"
Charlos says, "sure, or just hang out..."
Ogh says, "Ok?"
Ogh says, "Ogh like run in South Forest"
Ogh says, "Nice trees and lots of furry beasts."
Charlos asks, "2: What do you do there?"
Ogh says, "Oh, uh."
Ogh says, "Mostly get warm up."
Ogh says, "before more difficult hunts."
Charlos asks, "3: How many weapons do you have?"
(Ogh counts)
Ogh says, "Look like? 7"
Charlos asks, "4: How long would it take you to solo a Savanna Maha?"
Ogh says, "Hmm."
Ogh asks, "Perhaps? 15 sec ?"
Charlos asks, "5: If you could brawl anyone in the Arena right now, who
would it be?"
Ogh says, "Hmm? Charlos would be good pick :)"
Charlos says, "hehe"
Charlos asks, "6: Which is yer favorite Super-group (PMF, LIFE, PTF..
etc.)?"
(Ogh sighs)
Ogh says, "Aah."
Ogh says, "Ogh never hunt with them"
Charlos asks, "but if you could hunt with one, which would it be?"
Ogh says, "Not sure."
Ogh says, "PTF perhaps."
Charlos asks, "7: If me an you fought em all in the Arena right now,
would we win?"
Ogh asks, "All groups against us both??"
Charlos says, "or just PTF"
Ogh says, "er? us die quickly :)"
Charlos says, "hehe"
Ogh exclaims, "Them be strong!"
Charlos asks, "8: How much Pathfinding training do you have?"
Ogh says, "No pathfinding"
Charlos asks, "9: Who's yer tailor?"
Ogh says, "erm?"
Ogh says, "No favorite tailor"
Ogh says, "Probably Koden"
Charlos asks, "10: Do you tip em, or are you a stingy bastard?"
Ogh asks, "Tailors need tips??"
Ogh says, "Ogh must be bastard then :)."
Charlos asks, "11: Is killing Tors bad luck?"
Ogh says, "No."
Ogh says, "It be good for berves."
Ogh says, "er, nerves"
Charlos says, "ah"
Charlos asks, "12: Have you ever read Fishwrap magazine?"
Ogh says, "Yes, Ogh try to read it"
Ogh says, "It be written too small, though."
Ogh says, "With difficult words"
Ogh says, "Ogh want zo version!."
Ogh exclaims, "With pictutres!"
Ogh exclaims, "With pictures!"
(Ogh calms down)
Charlos ponders, "note to editor: bigger print, smaller words,
pictures"

[Editor's note: try thoomcare.com, Ogh.
  - Para]

Charlos asks, "13: What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
(Ogh grins)
Ogh says, "Mini-skirts be more exciting."
Charlos asks, "14: What do you think of Telemain's Loyalists?"
Ogh says, "Not much. But Emperor is no good, so?"
Ogh says, "Ogh probably don't like loyalists."
Charlos asks, "15: What's yer favorite source of exile news?"
Ogh says, "Hmm."
(Ogh thinks)
Ogh says, "Koric journal"
Ogh says, "then?"
Ogh says, "Clanlords.com"
Charlos asks, "they've got pictures?"
Ogh ponders, "when it work"
Ogh says, "Koric have pictures"
Ogh says, "Always go to nice places"
Ogh says, "Fishwrap is good for in-depth reviews, though."
Charlos asks, "16: Whose yer favorite bard?"
Ogh asks, "er, favorite bard?"
Ogh says, "Probably?"
(Ogh concentrates)
Ogh says, "Ack."
Ogh asks, "What be the name already?"
Ogh says, "A sylvan"
Ogh asks, "Xepel?"
Charlos asks, "Xepel?"
Ogh says, "Probably."
Charlos asks, "17: Got a favorite song they do?"
Ogh says, "Yes, 'duck' :)"
Charlos says, "hehe"
Ogh says, "Ooh, Baltok's chapel too."
Charlos says, "Yer exiled to *another* isle by yourself. You can take
one item you now possess with you."
Charlos asks, "18: What do you take?"
Ogh says, "Hmm."
(Ogh thinks hard)
Ogh says, "sunstone"
Charlos asks, "so you could talk to your friends?"
Ogh says, "Yes."
Charlos asks, "19: On a scale of 1-10, how painful was this interview?"
(Ogh smiles)
Ogh exclaims, "It be fun!"
Ogh says, "so? 3"
Charlos asks, "20: Any shout-outs?"
Ogh yells, "Oooga!!!"
Charlos says, "heh"
Ogh says, "It be Ogh favorite."
Charlos says, "22: Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the
street with Ogh for Fishwrap Magazine?"
(Ogh bows)
Charlos says, "thx Ogh"
You gave good karma to Ogh
Ogh exclaims, "Ogh thank!"
(Ogh feels important!)
Ogh says, "Charlos , arena fight now? ;P"
Charlos says, "hehe"
Ogh exclaims, "Yuk yuk yuk!"
Charlos yells, "DorfCare?!! We'll pass the fargin circle tests with
both beers tied behind our backs!"

#####
HOROSCOPES FOR EXILES
BY MAGPIE

Enba the Rat
While things in your life appear normal, there is something that will
greatly effect you soon. It is cloudy, but I see a large tattoo, a love
poem, and a roguewood club.

Elixus the Cat
A Sylvan bard will fall madly in love with you this zodiac. While that
sounds nice, it gets ugly when the lovesick musician shows their
emotion by following you around and playing the "Duck" song over and
over. And over and over...

Shaer the Healer
Worn out from a large keg fest in town, you will pass out from
exhaustion in the spirit wood. A dream of a long dark tunnel and a
flood of water will awake you with a start. You are even more shocked
to find yourself surrounded by spriggins who are chanting "One of us!
One of us!" Hey, don't blame me, it's your fortune, not mine. Just be
thankful I didn't mention the other part of your dream that had that
twisted thing about brambleberry curd and three Zo's (ick). As soon as
Puddleby develops psychiatry, I suggest you spend a few coppers getting
some help.

Oobiscus the Foxweir
Nothing. I see nothing. Oh sure, the usual will happen: hunting,
healing, scrying, falling. But other than that you are due for a very
boring zodiac. Jeez, man, do something different! But you'll have to
wait till NEXT zodiac to do it. Yep, not a damn thing.

Eghorus the Rooster
Those born under the Rooster will have a rough time of it at the Golden
Butterfly. Even Lundar will feel sorry for you after Jack Vintian gets
through with your purse. Get ready to sell come rouguewood clubs if you
want any coppers this zodiac.

Ina D'Xus the Warrior
A great surprise will await you this zodiac when the unknown seventh
Brion brother requests a meeting with you. You will gaze in awe upon
this brother known as "Elvisbrion" as he serenades you in Tenebrion's
audience chamber with swirling hips and a groove that would shake the
ethereal plane itself.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith,
Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####
You rise like a wave in the ocean
And you fall gently back to the sea
Now I want to know how to hold you
Return to me

You shine like the moon over water
And you darken the sky when you leave
Now I want to know how to keep you
Return to me

"Return to Me"
- October Project, "October Project"

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"   ><((°>   "

Issue #47: "Falinea and Melabrion"
[February 25, 2002]
Circulation: 187

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* The Hall of Chivalry
* The Scarmis Pen
* ThoomCare Travel Warnings
* West Foundation Awards
* Tyking II's Tenebrion Report
* Clan Profile: Tabula Rasa
* Interview with Falinea
* Dorfs Meet with Melabrion
* Exile on the Street by Charlos
* Merlisk Reports on Orga Summoning
* An Interview with Marsh Hermit

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Clan Hunter
http://hunter.clanlords.com/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* The Sun Dragon Clan
http://www.sundragonclan.com/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* The Dwarven Militia
http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/
* Slyph
"Lord of the Ribs, opening soon! Slabs Bigger Than Your Head™ Ribs.
It's What's for Dinner."
* Connie Crete
"Luv fer Rent: Contact Connie Crete about rentin' Chris Rex. (He kin
also rent hisself.)"
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom/
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker/
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html/

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rumors of Prue's death greatly exaggerated
* Norm finds a cacao pod
* Norm tries "ethereal boots"
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* The Gardenmaze
* The acid-spitting Scarmis Qqueen
* Skirwan was found on Ash, minus his brain. An open skull was all that
was left
* Shepherd is missing. Last seen and heard going to talk with someone
named Anubis
* Transcript of discussion between Callia and Tenebrion
* Melabrion directing numerous studies with exiles on bloodblades,
ores, stones, and Greymyrs
* Kyuem pieces, Ethereal boots etc.
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.org/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Malachite and Olive arachnoids
* Explorations of the second sphere of the Ethereal Plane
* Aldernon a murderer?
* Darshak invasion
* Mobbed by Wickedews on Umbrion's Island
* Umbrion's Island statue
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Leradla and Cimmbrion
* Lalerad teaches an understanding of Ethereal flow
* Castle of Lugubrion?
* Tenebrion speaks of the underlying structures of the Ether
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* Umbrion's maze
* Gambling with Jack Vintian
* Gurgi's Foothills raid
* Failed LIFE expedition
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in common, dwarven, or sylvan!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

Hello and welcome to News from the Fen Bureau. It is said that the more
things change, the more things remain the same and that's been very
true lately.

* The Sylvan Outpost is still closed.

* The Hall of Chivalry is open and it's less of a tribute to chivalry
than allowing those who are squires and knights to get heraldric
shields bearing the name of their order. I had hoped there to be
someone explaining the tenets of knighthood but there is sadly nothing
of note.

* Fat Alice has come to town again and asked us to retrieve a gem for
her, but won't trust us with its location lest we keep it for
ourselves. So she wants us to give her 40,000 coins then she'll tell us
the gem's location and she will give us the money back when we give her
the gem. I recall what she did when we worked to give her the new hut
and so I don't trust her any more than I can throw her.

* The Scarmis Pen on Ash Island seems to be the popular place for high-
level fighters to hunt since it is close to town although relatively
difficult to leave. There's always the danger of severe injury because
of the acid, but overall it sounds like a very exciting place to hunt.

* You can now drop items which is perfect for those that don't want to
go to the dump to throw their items away. You can't pick up items that
are personal such as the rewards for the hunting challenges and mystic
tokens.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy
* Visionstones and snapshots of interesting events.
* Reports on what's happened to her and to Puddleby.
* Lessons she's learned and opinions she's formed.

This and more available here:
http://jeanne.puddleby.info/

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Announcing Sielk's Adventure Notes

Sielk has started keeping notes on my his adventures and invites all
exiles to read them. He hopes to provide updates of important events or
just his thoughts on issues surrounding Puddleby. You can view his
notes at the following scroll address in the library:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/Sielk/

Just turn to the chapter labeled Sielk's Adventure Notes and enjoy!

Sponsored by The Sun Dragon Clan

http://www.sundragonclan.com

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 180 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

***
ThoomCare is proud to announce a new service for all exiles. ThoomCare
will be publishing Travel Warnings and Public Announcements in order to
keep exiles informed of dangerous conditions throughout the lands.

ThoomCare has issued a Travel Warning for the Wendecka Breeding
Grounds, and Public Announcements for Kitty Beach and the Northwest
Forest. For more information, please visit the ThoomCare Travel
Warnings scroll at

http://rizal_cl.tripod.com/scrapbook/travel_warnings.html

Thanks to ThoomCare member Rizal for taking on this great new project.

***
Tyranis Calgar, ThoomCare member, is now a second-circle healer.

***
Phroon, ThoomCare member, is now a third-circle healer.

***
Fishwrap Magazine is pleased to announce that it has taken over the
administration of the West Foundation, a charitable enterprise
dedicated to encouraging writing and the arts in Puddleby. Fishwrap is
committed to continuing the tradition of civic philanthropy started by
the West Foundation. If you are interested in applying for a West
Foundation award, contact Para with a proposal for your project.
Winners will receive a grant, and have their contribution appear in
Fishwrap Magazine.

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Puddleby Chamber of Commerce welcomes all new exiles to the Land.

Stop by and get info and help as a new exile.

Puddleby Chamber of Commerce also sells CUSTOM Clan Lord T-SHIRTS.

Get your One-of-Kind shirt today!

http://homepage.mac.com/lintila/puddlebycoc/

Rooster

#####
TYKING II's MILDLY TENEBRION-RELATED REPORT!
By Tyking II

Well, the Orga summoning spell happened. There was much chanting, with
just about every exile joining in. In the end, we summoned one Orga. It
didn't seem like much, but then a Shaman was found. Then Wangah Rah
started feeling sick, then both Wangah and Merlisk started speaking in
the Orga tongue. Eventually, the town saw Hatreds popping up all over
the place, as well as other Orga. Wangah found a control spell that
would work on a hatred if the exiles would stop attacking it. Of
course, that never happened, so Perkusi attempted to lead the Hatred to
the zoo. Unfortunately again, the hatred poofed, and left us with
nothing.

Jynx appeared in that time, and gave me some interesting information:
-The Orga came into town through Purgatory
-The Orga have their own altar
-An Orga was captured after this, and Jynx spoke to it in a strange
language. To us, it appeared the Orga said "cat". Jynx stated that the
most likely word the Orga was saying was "catapult", "although they do
like to eat cats".

In other Jynx-comments,
-I found out during an earlier encounter with Jynx that our world is
full of tiny tears, exactly like ones in the Ripture War, only much
smaller. He stated at that time that the tears were rapidly expanding.
-Today he told me that the tears had subsided and his people had it
under control for the moment. He also told me that what we know as
"ether", is actually material leaking through the tears. Therefore, the
Ethereal Plane is simply a manifestation of leaky tears.

That's about it, so I'm signing off!
-Tyking II

Oh, and Darnok sued me for some weird reason. "Your a punk, everyone
hates you, your annoying" or something like that. (Yes, I know that
it's actually "you're", but he didn't). The jury found this case to be
what it was, and found me innocent. Yippee!

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

From WormTounge

I am pleased to announce the opening of Puddleby's latest commercial
venture.

The Puddleby Savings and Loans Bank!

The Puddleby Savings and Loans Bank is now offering loans to exiles at
reasonable interest rates. Terms and conditions can be read at:
<http://www.red-quill.org/bank/>

We are hoping to expanding into other banking areas such as savings
accounts that pay interest as soon as possible.

For loans and investment opportunities, contact WormTounge in the
lands, PPOB number #1313, or via email

WormTounge

#####
CLAN PROFILE: TABULA RASA
BY JEANNE

While everyone starts out as exiles, most decide to pick a profession
shortly after arriving in Puddleby. There are a few individuals who,
for one reason or another, decide to choose their own path and remain
unprofessioned exiles. Many don't even think of this and assume that
they are trying to become mystics or are still trying to pick a
profession.

To combat this, WorldWalker has brought together a group of similarly-
minded exiles to form "Any Clan" or the Fellowship of Tabula Rasa. "Any
Clan" gives all exiles who have chosen to remain unprofessioned exiles
moral support and friendship.

Visit their scrolls at

http://anyclan.puddleby.info

for a listing of members, pictures of their adventures, and information
on how to join if you also want to remain an unprofessioned exile.

#####
INTERVIEW WITH FALINEA
BY LELU

I met Falinea in the South Forest.  She is a wonderful and beautiful
creature.  Here is our conversation.

Lelu yells, "Help, fallen Zo!"
Falinea exclaims, "Greetings, exile!"
Lelu exclaims, "oooooooooooooh!"
The Rat munches on Lelu's fallen body.
The Rat pokes at Lelu's wounds.
Lelu exclaims, "how pretty!"
Falinea has not disclosed her race, is female, is an exile, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a roguewood club, and she is wearing a sunstone, a
shirt, a third circle fighter belt and a pair of pants.
You begin sharing your experiences with Falinea.
You are sharing experiences with Falinea, Nyika, Taladwy, Altir and
Harmachis.
Falinea asks, "what got you?"
Lelu says, "well, officially... a vermine"
(Falinea blushes)
Lelu says, "but.. I was surrounded by many many creatures"
(Falinea nods)
Falinea says, "I know how it can be"
Falinea asks, "are any healers coming for you?"
Lelu asks, "how did you get to be such a winged creature?"
(Falinea looks puzzled)
Lelu says, "I don't know if anyone is looking for me"
Falinea says, "I was born this way, of course"
Lelu exclaims, "oh!"
Falinea says, "I am a poor healer, but I will try"
Lelu says, "excuse me.. I did not realize we had any creatures like
this on the island"
Falinea says, "I am the last of my kind"
Falinea says, "and not often in the lands"
Lelu says, "I see"
(Falinea starts to heal Lelu)
Lelu exclaims, "yay!"
(Lelu is raised easily)
Lelu says, "Thank you"
Falinea ponders, "always such a relief when it works!"
Lelu thinks, "aaah up, thanks to Falinea"
Falinea says, "most welcome"
Falinea has not disclosed her race, is female, is an exile, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a moonstone, and she is wearing a sunstone, a shirt, a
third circle fighter belt and a pair of pants.
Altir thinks to you, "aye?!"
You think to Altir, "She is a winged horse!  have you met her?"
You concentrate on sending your message to Altir.
Falinea asks, "out hunting solo? or did you lose your party?"
Lelu says, "solo :)"
Falinea says, "always my favorite way to hunt"
(Falinea smiles)
(Lelu smiles.)
Falinea says, "well, good luck to you"
Lelu says, "I am a kind of narcoleptic... so, many don't like to hunt
with me so much :)"
Falinea says, "ah"
Lelu says, "I wanted to ask you..."
Falinea says, "I know others with the same problem"
Falinea asks, "yes?"
Lelu asks, "how did you end up on the island?"
Falinea says, "oh, it was sad"
Lelu says, "I'm sorry..."
Falinea says, "there is a scroll about it"
(Falinea searches her memory...)
Falinea says, "http://www.vizia.com/falinea/falinea.html"
Falinea says, "I think <g>"
Lelu says, "I will read it..."
Falinea says, "it still makes me cry"
Lelu asks, "You said you don't come out much.. what brings you out
today?"
Falinea says, "I've recently returned from another search for possible
survivors"
Falinea says, "of my family"
Lelu asks, "oh?"
Lelu asks, "where were you searching?"
Falinea says, "I have a home here, in the Sacred Grove, and return to
rest occasionally"
Falinea says, "several islands to the east, far away"
Falinea says, "no sign of anyone yet, though"
Lelu says, "the Sacred Grove? I don't believe I know of this place..
I've only been around .. maybe 6 months or so..."
(Falinea shakes her head sadly)
Falinea says, "ah"
Falinea says, "not many go there, but mystics"
Lelu says, "oh, I see"
Falinea says, "you must pass through the spriggin wood to get there"
Falinea says, "perhaps someone will show you sometime :-)"
Lelu exclaims, "ohhh.. yes, I've heard of spriggin wood.. and Tree
Giants!"
Falinea says, "it's quite pretty"
Lelu says, "I'm very scared to venture there"
Falinea exclaims, "and the only place on the island where the seasons
actually show change!"
Lelu says, "It sounds pretty..."
Lelu exclaims, "!!!"
(Falinea nods)
Lelu exclaims, "Oh, this I must see!"
Lelu asks, "What does it look like now?"
(Lelu waves.)
Lelu says, "hi Clair"
Falinea says, "well, there are secret passages and such, so you need
someone knowledgeable to take you"
Falinea says, "Greetings, Claire"
Lelu asks, "Have you met Falinea?"
Clair says, "Hello."
Falinea says, "it's summer, so the trees are green and in full leaf"
Lelu says, "oh, that does sound intriguing..."
Falinea says, "but when fall comes, soon, they change color, and the
grass turns brown"
Falinea exclaims, "and the snowstorms in the winter are difficult!"
Lelu asks, "Are there any others who live there besides you?"
Falinea says, "no"
Falinea says, "the grove allows my presence"
Falinea says, "I don't know why"
Lelu says, "it must be lonely"
Falinea says, "it is"
Falinea says, "but I continue to hope my family will show up, someday"
Falinea says, "well, friends, time to sling on the old feedbag"
Lelu says, "the citizens of Puddleby are mostly very kind and
friendly.. you should come out more often and "play" with us :)"
Falinea exclaims, "long flight!"
Clair says, "Be well."
(Falinea smiles)
Lelu says, "ok! thank you for your help! :)"
Falinea says, "I find that my presence is sometimes, uh, distracting"
(Falinea grins)
(Lelu smiles.)
Falinea exclaims, "Good luck and good hunting!"
Lelu says, "well, you are a beautiful creature, so I can understand
why"
(Falinea waves.)
Lelu says, "thank you"
(Falinea blushes)
You just received good karma!
(Lelu smiles.)
(Falinea flies away.) (and then disappears into thin air!)
You gave good karma to Falinea.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Yay! I am proud to announce my webscrolls!

Fierce and Furry - The Adventures of Hor!
http://www.fierceandfurry.de/

#####
DORFS MEET WITH MELABRION AND TENEBRION
FROM TARF THE DWARF

Tenebrion says, "They follow their orders to the letter."
Jo Ma'ril asks, "can you translate for us, dwarven guys?"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Yep."
(Wangah Rah mumbles something under his breath.)
Tarf ponders, "Greetings"
Jo Ma'ril says, "Thanks."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Greetings"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Hi"
Tenebrion asks, "Wangah Rah, can you tell the subject of
which you want to discuss?"
Wangah Rah says, "Nai, I am afraid I cannot publicly."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Have you been informed by the
other dwarves of my desire?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "To some extent"
Jo Ma'ril asks, "What's he sayin'?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Do you realize that secrecy is
in your best interest?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "you wish for a mercurial staff, no?"
Tenebrion says, "I must leave for now."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I have one"
Janus is no longer Clanning.
Habbakuk Lal says, "He says tell the ugly Human to beat
it."
(Wangah Rah nods)
Jo Ma'ril says, "phhft"
Wangah Rah says, "Lei'tar"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Heh."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "then it appears I am not 'up to
date'"
(Melabrion nods)
Jo Ma'ril says, "c'mon be nice, I'll buy you a beer when
we get back"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Norm and the others were sent
to gather the leaders of the dwarven nation"
Tarf ponders, "I can't translate myself, I'm making a movie
now go keep your pants on :P"
(Nunul smiles and nods)
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "This should be kept
secret!"
Wangah Rah says, "Tell me when one of the good dwarves can
translate for me."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I'm not sure that we dorfs have a
leader"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That's unfortunate"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "though there are some of us who are
organized"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, I'll take any leaders to
come forward"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But, you should know dwarfs are
rather independent"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli here, and myself, are members
of the dwarven militia"
Nunul asks, "Tarf...can you tell him that I had a strange
pulse on the amulet I wear for decoration?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli is a council member, I am a
former council member"
Wangah Rah asks, "Nunul, when was this?"
(Melabrion nods)
(Nunul thinks)
Wangah Rah asks, "Four days ago?"
Nunul says, "about 5 puddle days ago"
Wangah Rah says, "Indeed"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well...."
Rifkin is now Clanning.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "The other council members are
hungover and/or drunk currently"
(Melabrion laughs)
Nunul says, "or 4...."
Wangah Rah says, "As I thought"
Wangah Rah says, "Many did..."

Melabrion Seeks a Meeting

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I wish for the dwarves to
accomplish what the lesser races have not"
Nunul asks, "even non-mystics?"
Wangah Rah says, "Please ask Melabrion what he was doing."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "and that would be...?"
Wangah Rah says, "He sunstoned some whose amulets pulsed
and said they disrupted his expriment."
(Jo Ma'ril nods.)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "This is why I wish to have a
meeting with your leaders"
Wangah Rah says, "I'm interested in what he was doing that
was so sensitive."
Nunul shows his Ethereal Amulet to everyone.
Nunul asks, "why as a fighter did I feel the pulse?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I believe that your noble race
can succeed where the others haven't in fulfilling the deal put forth
by us"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have heard of Tenebrion's
desire for a stone, but we have serious concerns about giving him one."
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Then, give it to me"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Look, no offence, bub."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "But you share a surname with
Umbrion and Tenebrion do you not?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are my brothers"
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Your brothers, one whose foolish
experiments threaten purgatory, and the other who causes disease?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Well, getting a stone is hard"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "These are things that you say"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are not my doing"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, I will fulfill the
promise"
DanDura'a yells, "Get yer stinkin' paws off me keg, Larea!
Guards! Guards!"
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Bad idea"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But convincing us that giving you
a stone is a good idea is even harder"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I will create a permanent
portal for six of those Orga Stones"
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"

Trust

Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Why do you not trust us?"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "Why should we?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We have shared our knowledge
with you"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Have you though?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "I have only just met you."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "All I have ever seen is secrets"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We've given you magic the
likes of which you've never seen"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Secrets?"
Tenebrion says, "I do not believe they did, Wangah Rah."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Your fellow citizens know
much"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Everything about your brothers is
secret"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "a hidden castle with no entrance"
Wangah Rah says, "I spoke of my concern on the lack of
metal in our lands."
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Aye, but everything comes at a
price. What will this cost us?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "A tower full of secret doors and
magic"
Wangah Rah says, "He pushed for haste on his
experiments..."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Why would we WANT you in our
homes?"
(Nunul wonders if Lugubrion gets much use from the fishing
rod he gave him)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Hey, everyone loves dwarfs. :)"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "why would you need to hide it?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Because it's our home"
Wangah Rah says, "and said he would discuss it and see if
some way amulets could be disrupted in greater abundance."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "we too have a home"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "And I've not invaded yours"
Hoggle is no longer Clanning.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, just 2 of your brothers"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Oh?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Do you have proof of this
accusation?"
Azel asks, "So how do I get back?"
Jo Ma'ril asks, "Wangah, can you open the door?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I personally witnessed Umbrion's
invasion of Puddleby"
Azel says, "To town"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "it was, he called it, a "warning""
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I am not my brother's keeper"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "we find a new island near our home,
and we provoke attack?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, but you are seeking credibility
from your brother's deeds"
Tenebrion asks, "What would you offer instead of metal
Wangah Rah?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You may deal with him on this
issue"
Wangah Rah says, "I offer yi the service of testing with
them."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What reason do we have to trust
you?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, you do not think our deal
is good enough?"
Rieger thinks, "is up again"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What trust?"
Wangah Rah says, "With more amulets, this would be greatly
expediated."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "A deal is a deal"
Wangah Rah says, "I fear between yi and Cimmbrion's
experiments, I don't have enough."
Tenebrion asks, "And you would have me bear the cost of
your mistakes alone?"

Hidden Risks

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You present six stones...."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We think the deal is fine, but we
fear hidden risks."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We open the portal"
(Wangah Rah raises an eyebrow.)
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "How may I assuage your fears?"
Wangah Rah asks, "What mistakes do yi speak of?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "and what would you require the
stomes first?"
Tenebrion says, "I have never broken my amulet. You are
asking me to pay for your mistakes."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "by explaining your motives"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "and proving them to be true"
(Melabrion laughs)
Wangah Rah says, "Yi have said yi believed risk must be
taken for reward."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What do you think our motives
are?"
Wangah Rah says, "It is your choice, of course."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are more simple than you
imagine"
Wangah Rah says, "It would greatly speed the mapping
project."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I can only say that our world is
one frought with evil."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "And you are related to it."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I see"
(Wangah Rah nods to Jo)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "So, you've no real argument
here."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Just distrust of all?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, not at all"
(Wangah Rah nods thoughtfully.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have some reason to distrust
your brothers"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Caution. simple as that"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Let's start small"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "You don't go giving away purgatory
pendants"
Tenebrion says, "I already face substantial risk by
assisting your people to become more familiar with the Ethereal Plane."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "or your purgatory could be in
danger"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You bring me one stone, and
I'll give you this..."
(Wangah Rah nods.)
Jo Ma'ril asks, "Then why assist us?"
Melabrion shows his ethereal portal stone to Tarf.
Tenebrion says, "You could do great harm there."
Wangah Rah says, "I suppose the answer be no then."

A Fair Deal?

Jo Ma'ril asks, "What do you get out of it?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You bring me six and I'll
create one that is permanent"
Tenebrion says, "Because, Jo Maril, I believe you might
assist me and that makes the risk worthwhile."
Jo Ma'ril asks, "I see, and what kind of assistance do you
need?"
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "And what will be done with the
stones?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I feel the deal is fair
considering the work and ordeal involved on our end"
Jo Ma'ril says, "You and your brothers seem very
capable..."
Wangah Rah says, "I asked him to provide more amulets,
Jo."
Tenebrion says, "You have more easy access to certain
areas of the world than I."
Wangah Rah says, "But he thinks the risk is too great."
Jo Ma'ril ponders, ""easy""
Wangah Rah says, "Pardon, Tenebrion. I shall be right
back."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I need to test them"
Sparrow thinks, "Night Hepta"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "To see if they're even of use"
Tenebrion says, "I have no interest in fighting orgas. I
need you to collect their teleportation stones for me."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, from what I've seen, they
do hold promise"
Tenebrion says, "As one small example."
(Jo Ma'ril nods.)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Promise for what?"
Jo Ma'ril says, "I understand...but many exiles don't
trust you because they don't see how the "deal" works for you"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I think the abilities of
teleporation are within our grasp"
Tenebrion says, "Your scholars can travel the world and
map the ether activity. A pursuit I do not have time for."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "But no power comes without great
cost"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Somehow, those stones hold
answers to this puzzle"
Lex says, "hello"
Jo Ma'ril says, "'lo."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We are willing to pay the
costs"

Tarf's Past Comes Up

Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What price are you willing to pay?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I see."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "if your assumption is even
valid"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Ends justify the means, eh?"
Tenebrion says, "Tarf, I do not often see you here."
(Wangah Rah smiles nervously.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But we are not sure what the cost
is and if we are willing to pay."
Jo Ma'ril says, "He's too busy drinking beer"
(Tarf scowls at Teeny Brain.)
Tenebrion says, "And murdering ambassadors."
Jo Ma'ril says, "oh that too"
(Wangah Rah grimaces.)
(Tarf looks proud.)
Tenebrion says, "I must leave for a while."
Tenebrion says, "Farewell."
Wangah Rah says, "Tenebrion"
(Jo Ma'ril waves.)
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What about that gem you hold?"
(Melabrion smiles)
Jo Ma'ril asks, "hmm, are you selling Earthstones,
Melabrion?"
(Nunul marvels at Melabrion's gem)
Lex asks, "what's an earthstone?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, will you allow me to
present my case to your leaders?"
Jo Ma'ril exclaims, "'s what Rutabaga sells!"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Much has happened since exiles met
your brothers. Very little of it has been good."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Or, will you hinder my
attempts?"
Jo Ma'ril says, "he says they're uh important or
something"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I do not speak for all dorfs"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "So I shall not make a decision"
(Melabrion nods)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "and it would not be right"
Jo Ma'ril says, "It's much better from his mouth"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We will be happy to encourage more
talks."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "for me to hinder their ability to
decide for themselves"
(Melabrion nods)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "What you ask for would take
much work on our end, if we did agree."

Gifts

Tarf says in Dwarven, "We will discuss what we have
obser..er...talked about this evening without dwarven brothers"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I understand"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I've already offered gifts to
smooth the way."
(Melabrion grins)
Nunul thinks to you, "does he still speak of the
teleportation stones?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "In fact...."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gifts, Mr. Melon, are not what
concerns my people."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Dwarfs are rarely of one mind
about anything except beer. :)"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I've been promised some Stout
for my gift"
Melabrion shows his beer keg to you.
Lex says, "heh"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That was my gift"
(Nunul slalivates)
(Melabrion grins)
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "You call that beer?"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Oh, he's got them under control now."
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Bribes?"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Sylvan beer, blech."
(Wangah Rah plays doorman again)
You show your cask of honey ale to Melabrion.
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Sylvan!"
Nunul shows his cup of eggnog to everyone.
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Bite your tongue!"
(Gimli chuckles)
(Tarf laughs)

Dwarven Servants?

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "My dwarven servants made this
for me"
Gimli exclaims in Dwarven, "!"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "Servants?"
Jo Ma'ril takes a drink from his bottle of water.
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Dwarven servants?"
(Tarf shakes his head as if he saw that coming.)
Habbakuk Lal says, "Dwarven servants eh ..."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Of course"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I associate myself only with
noble people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "And Kalian"
Lex says, "brb"
(Melabrion grins)
(Lex takes a nap)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "He is my servant amongst your
people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But I see him little now"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "You make servants out of dwarfs,
this will help your cause."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I do need to choose another, I
fear"
Habbakuk Lal exclaims in Dwarven, "No Dwarf would ever be
a servant to a Sylvan!"
(Melabrion laughs)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I haven't been a Sylvan in
longer than you can imagine"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "A slave perhaps?"
(Melabrion frowns)
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "In all this time you still haven't
figured out how to make yourself less ugly?"
(Wangah Rah squirms.)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I don't mean that as an insult, it
was a serious question :)"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, some magic isn't worth
tampering with"
(Melabrion chuckles)
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Dark Knight"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Aye, that is what we fear"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I fear that I've been this way
for so long that I'd not know what to do otherwise"
Kevin is now Clanning.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "My heart is dwarven"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That is good enough"
Jo Ma'ril says, "'lo."
(Melabrion looks)
Morvannic says, "hello"
Dude is now Clanning.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Your town sure attracts many
Sylvans"
Lex ponders, "ZZzzzzz......."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Blech."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "That's why the beer tastes like
swine water"
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Then give me some better!"

A Trade of Fellowship

Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli here is the best brewer in
the Lok Grotons"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Lord Gimli, I'll trade you an
Ethereal Amulet for that Ale"
Astral Duck is now Clanning.
(Tarf chuckles.)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Think of this as....a trade of
fellowship"
You offer a cask of honey ale to Melabrion for free.
\SELL /cancel to cancel the offer.
You hand Melabrion a cask of honey ale.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "It is a trade."
• Melabrion offers you an Ethereal Amulet for free.
To accept, \BUY 0 Melabrion.
Melabrion hands you an Ethereal Amulet.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "There"
(Gimli nods)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Perhaps a mystic can use it to
help my brothers map the Ether"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I recommend a DWARVEN mystic"
(Melabrion winks)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Of course"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, it is up to you"
(Wangah Rah winks at Melabrion.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have several in our clan"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Good"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Raldin perhaps."
Lex ponders, "ZZzzzzz......."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "yes but only 1 full I believe"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I look forward to meeting
them"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "They will have questions for you I
am sure"
(Melabrion nods)

Melabrion Asks About the Bloodblade

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "One more thing before I go"
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Aye?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Tell me more about this
bloodblade that I've been given"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What does one use it for?"
Melabrion shows his bloodblade to you.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "To draw upon your body to inflict
greater damage"
Bon Temps thinks, "Dunno, can you? :D"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It is a weapon."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "it is used by warriors"
Nunul ponders, "a healer with a bloodblade?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, it draws from your life
force to power the sword?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It takes skill to use it well"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Something like that, aye."
Melabrion ponders, "Interesting"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What are its components? Who
makes it?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "May I speak with them?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "That I know not..."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It is made with a dagger and a
moonstone"
Lex ponders, "...zzzzZZZZzzz"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "That is all?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "It takes great skill to use"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What are the rituals that bind
the two?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "A moonstone is a tricky thing for
a fighter to hold."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "From whence comes this power
to bind the two?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Only the strongest fighters can use
it, and only then after months if not years of training"
Melabrion ponders, "Interesting"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "May I speak with the smith?"
(Wangah Rah scratches his head.)
(Wangah Rah takes a quick nap)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "He is in the savanna."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "I take it that that is far?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "He does not leave his cave as far
as I know."
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "From here, yes."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Perhaps one of you could draw
me a map?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Ask your brother, he has an
unscrupulous alliance with the t'rools. He'll know of the savannah"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I could dispatch a servant
there"
(Wangah Rah coughs.)
Lex says, "Funny that a sylvan only speaks dwarven"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Perhaps"
Lex says, "yeah and regular way out will be tough"
(Melabrion nods)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It may be easier to work on one
deal at a time."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Understood"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, I should attend my
experiments"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "We could always show you
the way there."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "There are many things about the
islands we do not fully understand"
(Melabrion grins)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Perhaps another time, Habbakuk
Lal"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "And I am not talking about just
the women"
(Melabrion laughs)
Tarf ponders, "Like why did we build a brewery on the
darshak side of the island?"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Maybe he's too scared to
leave his protection."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, I need to go to my
experiments"
You just received good karma from Melabrion, Thank you for
your service.
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Aye, hopefully we will speak
again"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Please keep me informed of
your progress with the meeting"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "We will discuss your offer with our
people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "very well"
Geneva is now Clanning.
(Tarf waves, trying not to spill his beer.)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Thank you for your time."
(Melabrion waves)

#####
EXILE ON THE STREET
BY CHARLOS

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Entil'Zha says, "Hm, sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Entil'Zha"
Charlos asks, "Entil'Zha, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "I got my very own cellophane-wrapped Ba'alzamon!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "slippers!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "I think maybe 10... no wait! As many ranks as a
rankwhore could whore if a rankwhore could whore ranks!"

Deadmeat says, "Um, sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Deadmeat"
Charlos asks, "Deadmeat, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I didn't get the Puddleby Farms Mystic Brains
snack assortment I wanted..."
Deadmeat says, "but I'm not complaining about the skeleton I got. It's
in my closet."
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Deadmeat says, "Shoes."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank
if a rankwhore whored for ranks?"
Deadmeat asks, "All of them?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
You gave good karma to Deadmeat.

(Bizob greets Charlos with a Zo headbutt)
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Bizob says, "heh"
Bizob says, "you know me"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Bizob"
Charlos asks, "Bizob, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Bizob says, "I got the first harrius potterus scroll"
(Bizob thinks)
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Bizob says, "I'm a shoe man"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Bizob says, "I'm only partially a rank whore"
Bizob says, "hard to say"
Bizob says, ":]"
Charlos exclaims, "good to see ya!"

Charlos says, "I'm here with Cecil"
Charlos asks, "Cecil, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Cecil says, "beer bread and candy club"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Cecil says, "black boots"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Cecil says, "as many as me"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Omni says, "hehe"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Omni"
Charlos asks, "Omni, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Bizob ponders, "dorf on the brizambles..."
Omni says, "Well, I actually got an early Bawkmas present.."
(Omni points to his belt.)
Bizob says, "heh, congratulations"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Omni exclaims, "I wear my taintless shoes!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Omni says, "Let me think about that question.."
Omni ponders, "As much as Cecil?"
Cecil says, "lol"
Cecil exclaims, "that was my answer!"
Cecil exclaims, "as much as me!"
Cecil says, "lol"
Omni exclaims, "Sounds right to me!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Kensington, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
(Kensington thooms)
Kensington exclaims, "Nothin!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Super Chicken asks, "what about you, Charlos?"
Kensington says, "slippers, of course"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Kensington says, "Hm, that's a toughie"
Super Chicken says, "14.6"
Kensington says, "That sounds good"
Kensington exclaims, "14.6!"
Super Chicken says, "bawk"
Charlos says, "pipe down Chicken you'll have yer chance"
Kensington says, "=D"
Charlos says, "ok"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with SuperChicken"
Charlos asks, "SuperChicken, what did you get for
Bawkmas?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "I got I got!"
Super Chicken shows his candy club to everyone.
Kensington says, "ooh."
Super Chicken asks, "and what did you get for Bawkmas, Charlos?"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Charlos says, "I'm askin' the questions here buddy"
Super Chicken exclaims, "slippers! pink bunny slippers!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Super Chicken asks, "14.6?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Super Chicken says, "bawk"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
(Ayella chuckles.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Sure Charlos!"
Luna says, "Hello"
(Kirth Gersen smiles.)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Kirth Gersen"
Charlos asks, "Kirth Gersen, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Kirth Gersen says, "A load of money from Santa...and..."
Kirth Gersen shows his candy club to everyone.
(Kirth Gersen smiles warmly.)
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Kirth Gersen says, "Shoes, of course."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
(Ayella giggles.)
Kirth Gersen asks, "May I pass on that one...?"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
(Ayella laughs.)
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Kirth Gersen chuckles.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thank you!"
Luna says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Luna"
Charlos asks, "Luna, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Luna says, "A wave of unholiness from Tenebrion"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Luna says, "neither, calf boots"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Luna says, "one million"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Luna curtsies)
(Kirth Gersen chuckles.)
(Ayella chuckles.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Ayella says, "Of course."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Ayella"
Charlos asks, "Ayella, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
(Ayella smiles grimly.)
Ayella says, "Beer bread."
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Ayella says, "Both."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
(Luna giggles.)
Ayella asks, "as many as they felt like ranking?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap? Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Ayella ponders, "That has to be a trick question.."
Delirium says, "ok :)"
(Kirth Gersen nods)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Delirium"
Charlos asks, "Delirium, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Ayella ponders, "I mean.. who does not wear slippers?!"
Delirium says, "A long winter's nap"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
(Ayella giggles.)
Delirium says, "I glued them to my feet"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Delirium asks, "what did you call me???"
(Kirth Gersen laughs.)
Delirium conks Charlos with a greymyr rock candy.
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Ayella laughs!!)
(Luna nods.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "That's the way Deli!"
Ayella says, "Definitely the best answer."

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap? Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Tara says, "urr... sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Tara"
Charlos asks, "Tara, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Super Chicken ponders, "not ah horsey"
Tara exclaims, "Bread, Beer bread!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Tara says, "red thigh high boots 8-}"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "14.6!"
Tara asks, "14.6 ?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Astor ponders, "heh!"
Tara says, ": )"
Cecil says, "I have a question for you, Charlos"
Kensington says, "14.6 seems to be a popular answer"
Charlos says, "I got a keg of honey ale from Santa, SC ß-)"

#####
THE TWELVE DAYS OF BAWKMAS

Sent to Fishwrap by Aravir Eldanar

(Editor's Note: I forgot to include this in the last Fishwrap. I think
I'd had a little too much fishnog and left out a page. Anyway, I liked
it and wanted to include it, even though it's a little late.
  - Para)

By The Snowy Place Singers (Rooster, WorldWalker, Clio, Aravir, Draven,
and Ja Skew)

On the twelfth day of Bawkmas my true love gave to me
Twelve pairs of shoes
Eleven annoying snerts
Ten ranks of Mentus
Nine kegs of beer
Eight Dwarves a drinking
Seven Undines a moaning
Six flutterbys fluttering
Five 'Brion Brothers
Four Maha Rukhnees
Three running rats
Two giant vermine
And a scavenger bird in a dead tree!

#####
CONJURING TODAY
BY MERLISK THE THOOM

Thanks to everyone who helped Wangah Rah and me get our most important
spell component - the heart of an Orga Hatred!

A few days ago, we were kindly invited by Rieger to attend a short
excursion into the Orga Outback. After a heart-pounding run through
Hatred's Hollow (or, lack-of-Hatred's Hollow), we hunted OOB while
proceeding to the Orga Village.

In one of the many snells in the Outback, we found a Hatred. After
badly wounding it, it must've sensed what Wangah and I wanted to do
because it summoned about 10 Zerks to attack us. Ack! Fortunately, our
fighters handled the Zerks while the healers rodded the hatred. The
mystics Wangah and Shadowearth saved the day by boosting the fighters
enough that they reliably hit the Hatred.

Wangah then removed the still beating heart and placed it in a
container that I had specially prepared. The heart beats still.

Once I finish translating the spell in my Auntie's book, we'll be ready
to finish our final spell. If anyone has any old books on archaic
Thoom, I'd love to borrow them.

We *WILL* summon an intelligent Orga that will tell us the secrets as
to the location of their Stronghold and the location of our catapult!

Thanks again to all that helped. Give us some time to finish the
preparations and we'll finally learn their secrets!

Summoningly yours,
Merlisk

#####
INTERVIEW WITH MARSH HERMIT
BY MARTILAN

Martilan: "Tell me about Trillbane."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane hated Midnight Wendeckas. Trillbane lived in
the mountains."
Martilan: "Will you tell me where Trillbane is?"
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane travels a lot. I haven't seen Trillbane for a
long time."
Martilan: "Tell me more about Trillbane."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane is a great swimmer. Why do you want to know
about Trillbane?"
Martilan: "Have you ever met Trillbane? I want to find Trillbane"
Marsh Hermit: "I'm a skilled pathfinder."
Martilan: "Tell me about library."
Marsh Hermit: "I hear there's a library in Puddleby."
Martilan: "Tell me about Trillbane's library."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane collected rare books."
Martilan: "Where is Trillbane?"
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane might be dead."
Martilan: "Is Trillbane dead?"
Marsh Hermit: "No idea."
Martilan: "Do you like Trillbane?"
Marsh Hermit: "No. Trillbane is a lousy father."
Martilan: "Tell me about Gaeyl."
Marsh Hermit: "Gael is a great pathfinder."
Martilan: "Do you know where Gaeyl is?"
Marsh Hermit: "I'm not sure where she is."
Martilan: "Do you like Gaeyl?"
Marsh Hermit: "Yes."
Martilan: "Do you love her?"
Marsh Hermit: "I haven't for a while."
Martilan: "Thank you."
Marsh Hermit: "You're welcome."
Marsh Hermit: "Anytime."

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith,
Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####
Sail away, away
Ripples never come back.
They've gone to the other side.
Look into the pool,
Ripples never come back,
Dive to the bottom and go to the top
To see where they have gone
Oh, they've gone to the other side...

"Ripples"
- Genesis, "Trick of the Tail"

It's once again time to get your submissions in for the next issue of
Fishwrap magazine. As always, Fishwrap is looking for news,
interviews, articles, biographies, and fiction about life in Puddleby.
We could use some more Clan Profiles this time around, certainly.

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Bawkmas Season Edition"

Issue #46: "One Lump, or Two?"
[December 31, 2001]
Circulation: 180

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Dandelion and Ledward Vicious wedding
* Five questions with Kirth Gersen
* Guide to sparkle stones
* Wangah Rah on ether mapping
* Dews in the Outpost
* Kala Sahar and the Separ
* Sleipnir's holiday poetry

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* New discovery on Ash Island
* Passes rearranged; new snowy area north of town.
* Scaramis beetles attack
* Zorton gets a stone
* The Separ cures exiles
* Eastern Foothills waterfall passed; more Noids beyond
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Babajaga's account of being dewed
* Exploring Tenebrion's Island
* Hunting with Rising Claw
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Decorations for Bawkmas
* Potatoes
* Cold and Snowy
* A huge Lyfelidae idol
* Merlisk turns green
* Hunting for Qual
* Sinkhole by the bards' field
* Tenebrion's tower
* Massive earthquake and realignment of the Greymyr Village area
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Tenebrion's mysterious servant
* More on the Ethereal Survey of Puddleby
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* Harfoot returns
* Lugubrion's keep discovered
* Discovery of the Scaramis Pen
* Tenebrion's two-way portal
* Malkor nibbled by vermine
* Keeman comes to town
* Ethereal massacre
* New bards, passes, and potatoes
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT

Dandelion
and
Ledward Vicious

invite you to their wedding
Merdi, 40 Summer, 544, 1am
(OOC: 1PM PST, 01 Jan., '02)
in the Bards' Field
Bards & Refreshments Served

Clothing optional
No gifts, please
Bones the Thoom (of Rising Claw and ThoomCare) presiding

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

Hello and welcome to News from the Fen Bureau. The latest chaos storm
has brought some interesting changes to the lands and I shall attempt
to detail some of them here.

* Hieskor will sell you a sparkle stone for a varying price next to the
Colloseum in the east part of town. Kirth Gersen has an excellent page
about the effects and what the stones do at

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/hieskor.html

The rest of his scroll is pretty neat too.

* The lockers have been updated to now accept clothing. A model shows
what color the clothes item is so you can decide whether to take it out
of storage.

* Getting info on someone provides you a great deal of information if
you are on the same area as they are. You can now see what they are
wearing on every part of their body such as their clothes, sunstone,
necklaces, rings, weapons, belt, etc.

* The Sylvan Outpost is still closed but at least the local sylvan has
the good sense to be apologetic about the delay and promises that it
will open soon.

* You can now make a 12-slice birthday cake which takes wheat, 2 jars
of honey, egg, and 50c for decorations. I'm not sure how many lessons
with Zeucros it takes to learn how to make the cake but it seems
relatively easy to find the ingredients.

* Kala Sahar has been making some apperances in town and elsewhere with
information about Qual and the dews that have affected many of our
fellow exiles. The results of being dewed include a change in one's
behavior and in one's every action being transmitted back to a
collective of some sorts. Kala spoke in town and wished to speak to
Tessa who has been investigating the dews and how to remove them.
Unfortunately, Tessa was in the library so Kala showed us a Separ and
left without saying very much. What was strange is that both Aldernon
and Hex started shivering when they were close to Kala. Kala explained
that the collective must know where she is, probably because both
Aldernon and Hex are dewed, and so that's why they reacted badly to
being close to her. Another possible explanation is that the Separ she
carried could be a key to removing the dews or even destroying the
source of this potential threat to our town. It does seem that Puddleby
is beset by enemies from all sides.

* There are small trees in the Orchard north of the North Fields which
are a nice touch.

* Odesseus was sued by Zen for mispronouncing Slyph's name as Sleef.
Fen'neko have a hard time pronouncing certain sounds and so to sue
Odesseus for this difficulty that is beyond the Fen's ability to
correct is quite shocking. Fortunately, the suit was pronounced as
frivolous and Zen put in jail.

* There are still lots of museum spots that haven't be filled with
museum pieces. I wonder why a person would spend thousands of coins for
a museum spot if they aren't even going to put anything there.

* There are now more transitions from one snell, such as going from
either the north or south beach from the west part of town. It's a
small point but it really does look a lot better.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Thoom Aldynes is now a fourth circle healer.

ThoomCare is pleased to announce Larno has joined the clan.

ThoomCare associate member Merlisk is undergoing some sort of green
transformation.

I'm working on a book project:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Misc/thoombook.gif

Clanlords.com is back!
http://www.clanlords.com

Check out Kirth Gersen's Journal
http://kirth.puddleby.dk/

A cold and snowy region has been discovered on the west side of the
snell south of the orchard.

ThoomCare members (and others interested in contemporary Thoom affairs)
should be sure to read the Thoom Mailing List:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X

Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in common, dwarven, or sylvan!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW

FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KIRTH GERSEN
BY JEANNE

Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "Could you tell me your impressions of the town of
Puddleby?"

(Kirth Gersen smiles beamingly!)
(Kirth Gersen thinks hard... impressions...)
Kirth Gersen says, "Diverse..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Eclectic..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Divided..."
Kirth Gersen says, "but..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Friendly!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen says, "The residents of Puddleby are very varied, as well
ethnically, religiously, and politically..."
Kirth Gersen says, "This is exciting! And cause for friction."
Kirth Gersen says, "Which is why we have some big rifts in our midst...
The loyalists being the least problematic..."
Kirth Gersen says, "But, after all, most of us are quite friendly and
eager to help each other and the new exiles."
Kirth Gersen says, "This is the first and lasting impression of the
exiles here..."
Kirth Gersen says, "The eagerness and sincerity of helping people."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "That is what inspired me!"

-----------
Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "Have the exiles done anything to make you feel welcome or
has getting help been difficult?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Tricky question, actually, despite what I
said!"
Kirth Gersen says, "There have been times when help has been far away."
Kirth Gersen says, "And when helpfulness and kindness was not on the
agenda of fellow exiles..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Once, I was fallen for quite some time inside the
walls, just by East Gate."
Kirth Gersen says, "Several friends, fighters and a mystic, waited for
healers to arrive..."
Kirth Gersen says, "None came."
Kirth Gersen says, "Even though several were in town center..."
Kirth Gersen says, "I can understand why people refer to some of my
profession as 'lazy towne healers'..."
(Kirth Gersen sighs)
Kirth Gersen says, "But, that was a one off..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Also..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "this inspired me to do better!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen says, "Which is good."
Kirth Gersen says, "Another "bad" incident..."
Kirth Gersen says, "I met a few fighters referring to healers as money
drainers..."
(Kirth Gersen laughs)
Kirth Gersen says, "The reasoning behind this is muddled..."
Kirth Gersen says, "It made me quite angry at the time, but I have
overcome it since."
(Kirth Gersen shrugs.)

----------------
Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne says, "Could you talk a bit about your study of biothaumaturgy?
It sounds from your scrolls as if you were studying the concept of life
beyond death."

Kirth Gersen says, "Oh, yes, biothaumaturgy..."
Kirth Gersen says, "That is a very important part of my past."
Kirth Gersen says, "As you know, I was a teacher and researcher at the
university of Hyrios (mainland)."
Kirth Gersen says, "At the department of biothaumaturgy, we studied the
science of what we here call Healing."
Kirth Gersen says, "The word biothaumaturgy consists of the word
biology, and thaumaturgy."
Kirth Gersen says, "Back in Hyrios, the work at the department was very
focused on what we called "borderline" state of being."
Kirth Gersen says, "Here, we simply refer to is at 'fallen.'"
Kirth Gersen says, "I see myself, here, as a follower of master Horus,
and mostly, lord Koric."
Kirth Gersen says, "To continue their work, and fuse into it the
research from my past research in Hyrios."
Kirth Gersen says, "That would be a more scientific approach to the
subject, methinks."
Kirth Gersen says, "I will have to gather my material and present it
when ready."
Kirth Gersen says, "I am still learning the basics from lord Koric
right now."
Kirth Gersen says, "So, the time of fusing of knowledge is a bit ahead
in time..."
Kirth Gersen says, "He says I am progressing well..."
(Kirth Gersen beams proudly.)
Kirth Gersen says, "BUT..."
Kirth Gersen says, "There is a fine line here between Necromanic Arts
and what I am interested in."
Kirth Gersen says, "I am aware of this, and I have to work very hard to
keep the subject pure."
(Kirth Gersen looks serious.)

Jeanne asks, "How are raising the fallen and necromanic arts related?"

Kirth Gersen says, "The difference is philosophical and
thaumaturgical...."
Kirth Gersen says, "But with the same starting material (fallen body,
loose spirit) you can create both things."

Jeanne asks, "but the methods are different, are they not?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Aye! Very different!"
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "And at the same time soooo close!"

Jeanne says, "ah, just like cooking"

Kirth Gersen says, "Aye..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Very much so!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thanks for the analogy!"
(Kirth Gersen smiles warmly.)
(Kirth Gersen smiles and tastes the metaphor...)

-----------
Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "Dreams seem to have a important role in your life. Do you
think that dreams can have messages or warnings that we should listen
to?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Oh yes!!!"
Kirth Gersen says, "I am myself starting to learn more about this."
Kirth Gersen says, "I don't really remember any dreams from before
being exiled."
Kirth Gersen says, "They started becoming very vivid when I came here,
though."
Kirth Gersen says, "So, being a scholar, I started writing them down...
and making sketches."
Kirth Gersen says, "Now, I have discussed my dreams with several other
exiles, and I think I do get a lot of help from listening to them."
Kirth Gersen says, "What and why may not be clear until long after the
dream..."
(Kirth Gersen smiles a careful smile.)

Jeanne asks, "So you think that dreams do have meaning but
understanding what that is can be difficult due to the symbology dreams
use?"

(Kirth Gersen nods.)
Kirth Gersen says, "Aye. And we need other people's help to interpret
and understand."
Kirth Gersen says, "It is always difficult to see your own life in
perspective."

---------
Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "Do you have any long-term goals during your stay in
Puddleby?"

Kirth Gersen says, "Aye."
Kirth Gersen says, "For one thing, I want to persue biothaumaturgical
science here, as I told you earlier."
Kirth Gersen says, "Another is to become a trusted and valued member of
a clan."
Kirth Gersen says, "Yet another is to help collecting knowledge about
things, places, beings here in Lok'Groton."
Kirth Gersen says, "Like my scroll on Hieskor and the sparkle stones."
Kirth Gersen ponders, "And I want to become RICH!"

----------
Jeanne says, "Now you can ask the Fishwrap reporter ONE (1) question."

(Kirth Gersen thinks hard.)
Kirth Gersen asks, "Are you ticklish there?"
(Kirth Gersen points at the tip of the reporter's tail.)
(Kirth Gersen grins.)

Jeanne exclaims, "Eek!"
Jeanne says, "yes, that's why this cloak is so handy"
Jeanne says, "you have no idea how often vermine liked to nibble at my
tail"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Ouch!"

Jeanne says, "boloks and artaks and orga"
Jeanne says, "I would be walking along and...."
Jeanne says, "*bite*"
Jeanne says, "this cloak keeps my tail hidden so it doesn't get bitten"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Yikes!!!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
(Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Good thing!"

Jeanne exclaims, "I think so too!"
Jeanne says, "I'd hate to have a mangled tail."

(Kirth Gersen smiles beamingly!)
Kirth Gersen says, "Aye... that'd be bad."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thanks for an excellent answer!"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Sun Dragon Clan presents

A Comic Strip Contest

It all began with the fall of a whole distant country, called Edaria.

Its inhabitants and us seemed to lead quite similar lives.

It is unsure whether it was an island, whether it sudddenly sunk or was
invaded.

What is sure is that it abruptly stopped existing.

Soon after that, waves of refugees hit our shores, all of them very
weak and speaking with a strong accent.

Puddleby welcomed them like it did to us, and they started a new exile
life.

This contest is dedicated to Edarians, so that we don't forget, learn
more about them and help them in return.

See the entries and full rules at the Sun Dragon Clan scroll:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/

Contest ends OOC February 1, 2002.

#####
* FISHWRAP TOP 10 *

Top 10 Medical Excuses of Exiles:

10. "There's a lump in my inventory"
  9. Orga burn
  8. Purple Tor Inn rash
  7. Caduceus elbow
  6. Panther bite
  5. River Tunnel Syndrome
  4. Hairball (fens only)
  3. Grass burns from being chained
  2. "I've fallen and I can't get up"
  1. Super Chicken pox

#####
ART CONTEST

The Garkazian Order and Sir Goric invites everyone to view the results
from the 1st "Life in Exile" Art contest.

http://www.altegos.com/contest/submissions.php

Sir Goric for the Gakazian order

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Black Unicorn clan

Origin of The Black Unicorn
Several hundred years ago an ancient faith of the most holy order lie
in a secluded valley within the kingdom of S'pire. Peace and
tranquility prevailed.

Until the raids started. The neighboring kingdom of Darlank, under the
tyranny of their self-appointed King Merlos, became jealous of S'pires
wealth. Month after month, Merlos's men would sweep the mostly
undefended smaller border villages of S'pire, pillaging and raising all
that lived there; carefully weaving a path of destruction around the
well guarded citadels, always fleeing across the border again when
reinforcements arrived, safe in the knowledge that the mostly peaceful
people of S'pire would not strike back against the kingdom of Darlank
within their own bounds.

The Church of the Five Faiths was among these. Time and time again this
small faith would be at the mercy of evil forces, and its once
prosperous following dwindled, almost driven to the point of
extinction.

One autumn day, again the Church of the Five Faiths was left in near
ruins, everything the people held in faith destroyed. With heavy hearts
the remaining faithfuls started to rebuild everything they believed in.

It was then, that one man stopped. He stood and gazed vacantly at the
sky for a moment, and then, boldly, confidently, started to speak. "How
much longer are we going to allow ourselves to be destroyed? How many
times are we going to let them take what we hold so dear, and not raise
so much as a hand? How many times are we going to rebuild our lives
again for no reason, and pretend that it won't happen again?" "No
more!!!" He paused, and picked up a sword that lie in the ruins.
[Picking up a weapon of destruction was strictly against the faith].
"From this point on, I am going to fight for what I believe in, to
defend all that is good and sacred, to see that the shadows of evil
never again cast themselves across these shattered walls, that we shall
no longer live in fear. Now who will join me?"

Several members of the faith responded, and at that point they started
a legend, a small band of men and women, training intensely in combat
and the mystic arts, but following their respective sacred beliefs in
as much influence, learning from all around them. And as their
successes grew, so did their numbers. Slowly but surely they started
chapters in other villages, defender the inhabitants from suffering the
fate of friends and family, fallen to the blades of greed. Unafraid to
do what is necessary to protect the innocent, and to uphold the rights
of the free. And from the ashes of the Five Faiths, they came to be
known by their own name, the Black Unicorn.

Thoughout the hundreds of years of The Black Unicorn's history, this
legend has been passed down from one initiate to another, and now to
you...

Find out more about the Black Unicorn here:

http://thematrix.com/~noivad/

#####
HIESKOR'S SPARKLE STONES: A SHORT REPORT
BY KIRTH GERSEN (kirth_gersen@...)

* Introduction

These are my writings regarding the sparkle stones of Hieskor. I have
taken upon myself to gather information about the sylvan Hieskor, his
sparkle stones, and their origin. By no account do I own the complete
picture. This is an account of the State of the Stones, as I know it.

There are some facts known about the stones, and some theories
developed around them. In this account I relate the facts first, and
then I present the theories. The big and central question is still
unanswered: are the stones no more than overpriced luxury gadgets, or,
are they actually something useful and important?

* Facts

This is what we know about Hieskor and his stones. These facts are
gathered from Hieskor's own stories and based on actual, scientific
experimental facts.

I do not know exactly when Hieskor arrived to Puddleby. I know for a
fact, though, that he was rather newly arrived on the 81st day of
Autumn 543. I first saw him and heard his stories when he discussed his
stones with Elenis Reyav in the Town Square that very day. Judging by
his comments on everyday life in Puddleby, he had arrived just one day
earlier (80th Day of Autumn that is). (Hieskor says, "I am here and
there. I was staying at the Purple Tor Inn, but only paid for one
night.")

The sylvan called Hieskor is (or rather, was?) the apprentice to a
Mystic called Coleron. According to Hieskor, Coleron's lab burnt to the
ground in an accident, and Hieskor managed to "rescue" the stones he
now has brought to Puddleby. (Hieskor says, "I ...uh... grabbed all I
could and took them, ...uh... for safekeeping.")

During Hieskor's first days in Puddleby, he walked about and talked to
us other exiles. Now he is less social and more businesslike. (This was
his intention from the beginning, Hieskor says, "Since I am so far from
home, and a bit lost, I hope to make a new home setting up shop, here."
and Hieskor says, "If all goes well, I will learn how to make these
myself, and can become a contributing member of society.") He is
currently in Puddleby selling these stones. The price varies a lot
depending on which exile tries to purchase one. A span of between 30
and 500 coins is reported! Somehow he knows that you already have one
on your body, so you need a friend to hold your stone, if you wish to
purchase additional ones...

* Sparkle Stone Use

When you use the stone, you sunstone a message to yourself (Kirth
Gersen thinks to you, "Go, go, go!!!"). By using the stone, you merely
place it in your hand and will it to start by gently squeezing it.

After that initial thought-message, the stone is active for a period of
exactly 2 OOC minutes. During the two OOC minutes, the user experiences
strange visual and aural hallucinations. Also, in the corner of your
eye you see numbers flickering.

During the period of activity, the speed of the counter and the
intensity of the aural and visual effects are dependent on your
actions. The more you run and dance, kill and jump, the more intense
the hallucinations, the quicker the counter rolls.

After the period of activity, you get the aural message ("Kirth Gersen
sees the number 1,702 glow on his sparkle stone!") What this means is
not at all understood. Many theories abound.

The last effect of the usage is that every stone crumbles to dust.
Depending on factors largely unknown, it may or may not reform into a
new stone ("The dust from Kirth Gersen's crumbled sparkle stone reforms
into a new one!")

There seems to be a relation between location and scoring. Nothing
really conclusive at the moment, but the Puddleby Monastery Training
Room is verified by two different exiles (Raymond Shifter and myself)
to be one such location (generating a score of over one million!). This
means that the scoring on the stone is not particular to a specific
sn'ell, but rather a very exact location. More of these locations are
believed to exist. Our fellow exile Nephilim has experimented with his
stone simply sitting down. This did, quite logically, not generate more
than 600 in the score. This verifies the hypothesis that activity is
vital to receiving a big score.

* Theories

My opinion is that the sparkle stones are of one of two possible
natures. Either

--The stones are mere phantoms, pretty phantasms, gaudy illusions,
luxury gadget, or
--The stones are really measuring something, and the aural and visual
effects are mere byproducts.

Which of these that is the truth, no one can tell right now. I do
believe that Hieskor himself does not know the answer. In the light of
the experiments conducted in the Puddleby Monastery Training Room, I do
believe that the stones are not merely pretty phantasms. There is some
kind of thaumaturgy embedded in the stones that take the surroundings
of the stone user into account.

* Outstanding questions

For my research and to further this subject for the sake of others,
there are a few outstandning issues and questions.

--Has any similar artifacts been researched earlier in the lands?
--Does the stone measure anything?
--What does the stone measure? Life Energy? Released Life Energy?
Spirit Exhalation?

Since the stone seems to react to movement (exertion) and killings, I
have been led to believe that it actually measures spent, or exhaled,
life energy.

I implore you, fellow exile, if you learn something about the sparkle
stones or Hieskor, let me know! Contact me in the lands, or send an
enchanted mail to Kirth Gersen. Thank you.

Further research is presented in the scrolls:

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/

#####
BARD CONTEST RESULTS
BY KLUR

I would like to congratulate Xel and Coriaken for winning the prize of
5500c for the contest that was started back on OOC 1/19/01. For more
details on the contest see

http://www.poguemahone.org/bard_contest.html

In the contest there where four performances held. I would encourage
everyone to request a private showing of each of the unique pieces.
They are all very good and each is very unique in different ways.

Puddleby has some very gifted artists and I hope we all find more ways
to encourage them to produce this type of work. Even those that didn't
win the prize still received 1000c.

On a side note, I put this together for a couple reasons. One was to
see what was possible with merging music and story. Based on what has
presented I would say a lot. The other hope I had for this was to
potentially find a bard that would join me on adventures to produce
stories loosely based on those adventures. I'm still searching for such
a bard. Some day I will find one.

Thanks again to all those that participated!

  - Klur

#####
SCROLL UPDATED

Well, I never thought it would happen... but I actually updated "Better
Living Through Fast Feet." I figured I might as well spruce it up a bit
for its third anniversary.

From the press release:

"A classic composition, both witty and funny, 'Better Living Through
Fast Feet' is a timeless collection of tips, hints, and gentle
instruction on how to maximize your time in the lands by staying
upright through the power of flight."

Man, I really have to get a better publicist.

Anyway, Fast Feet's been updated. If you've never been, stop by and
crash the server:

http://drennen.org/cl/

  - Nohn

#####
ETHER MAPPING
BY WANGAH RAH

Ether mapping!  The very name strikes fear into your heart, does it
not?  Well, perhaps not, but this is a subject that few are familiar
with but many should be. First of all, what exactly is ether?  I don't
know. I don't know if anyone knows the true answer to that yet, but we
do know it is the substance that makes up the Ethereal Plane. Some
fighters may recall fighting powerful clouds of ether...so yes, this is
potentially dangerous and deadly stuff.

Another question that comes to mind is how it got here. Perhaps a
puddleyear ago or so, Tenebrion frequently warned us of "a coming
storm", and more specifically of a leak of ether into Purgatory from
our many departs from the Ethereal Plane. I hesitate to assume that
this leak is gone...however, Umbrion did say it should heal itself much
as one's skin repairs itself. Due to decreased travel and departs from
the Ethereal Plane of late, I would like to think some of the damage
has been reversed. Has the ether leak healed itself completely? All
truth be told, no one can really know yet. I believe many of us
discount the potential danger involved. We should not be ignorant of
the ether that is currently in or that is flowing into our plane of
existence! Tenebrion himself said there would be possible danger to
even himself if we were to become overrun with ether and ethereal
creatures. (Though, he was quick to add, no permanent danger as he had
a place to hide in until the danger was past.)

How are we to measure the amount of ether we have in our lands, yi say?
I thought yi would ask that! The 'Brion brother Umbrion has developed
an instrument to allow exiles, specifically specially trained mystics,
to detect the amount of ether in a particular area. This device is
called an ethereal amulet. Currently, they are available in Tenebrion's
Keep in exchange for a single piece of metal. In order to use this
device, properly at least, a mystic must travel to Umbrion's Keep and
begin training with his thoomy servant Leladar. Ten agonizingly slow
ranks later, the amulet's readings change from the utterly confusing
vibrations and shifting colors to revealing if the level of ether in
the area is anywhere from dangerously low to dangerously high. However,
some believe there may be another trainer that will improve the
amulet's use even more. Tenebrion has said his brother Lugubrion has
another servant who can train in its use, but so far he has not been
available to discuss this.

Ah, and what good does this do us? Well, methinks it helps the 'Brions
out more than it helps us. They have requested we map out the levels of
ether in our lands. Every snell in every area on every island, to be
specific. Hopefully they will settle for slightly less than that, as we
have not even completely explored our island. The known lands should be
sufficient. Perhaps on the surface this job seems simple, but there is
more to it than it seems. Ether seems to fluctuate dramatically in very
short periods of time. One amulet reading may show there to be an
average amount of ether, while the next could yield an unusually high
amount, all in the space of a few seconds. However, with a good number
of readings, the average seems to indicate if there is a high, low, or
normal amount of ether. Therefore, several readings must be taken in
each snell. What complicates things even more is the frail nature of
these Ethereal Amulets. If used in one snell, they last for about three
uses. Using them to map out an area in a loop seems to extend their
life by a good amount. For example, I took a loop through the north
marsh, using the amulet once per snell. After this was completed and
the results recorded, I did this several more times. In the end, I had
used the amulet over fifteen times, as opposed to the maximum life of
four uses while mapping the underground while repeatedly using them in
the same snell.

How does this all apply to the average, everyday exile? Right now, not
all that much...though if a spawn of Astral Drakes came to town, your
day could be ruined fairly quickly. The only way to avoid hazardous
situations is to explore, map and try to find possible danger areas.
The best way to help us help yi is to donate metal pieces to the
mapping project. I don't know for certain everyone who is involved, so
ask around. Many amulets will be needed for this project!  There are
many snells to be tested, and many readings that must be taken. For
now, the most notable occurence has been in the marsh, in the dead tree
snell with the muddy yellow shirt seller. High levels of ether have
been detected there, as well as sightings of Ethereal Slugs. Be wary if
travelling in that area, and please report any findings over the
sunstone network, or in person to someone who can help. To date, the
east, south, north, and northwest forest have been mapped, along with
the Tangle and Snaggle woods, and the underground and marsh as well. A
few snells show slightly off readings...but there have been no strange
or ether related occurences there. My readings on Tenebrion's Isle have
shown consistently strange results in ever snell....the ether is
just...well....a bit strange and eerie. I'm not quite sure what it
means...perhaps it is a result of all of Tenebrion's experiments...or
maybe close proximity to a Zodiac maze? Ah well. But, if yi have any
questions, feel free to contact me in the lands and I will do my best
to help yi. I hope this has brought yi up to date on these oft-
overlooked topics, what with all the hubbub over the Orga Stronghold
and such...let us be wary not to miss the danger at our doorstep while
watching the opportunities in the distance.

See maps of ether in these areas at the following scroll for yourself:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/

Lei'tar,
Wangah Rah

#####
ETHER MAPPING UPDATE
BY WANGAH RAH

H'loi all-
Hope the ether mapping is coming well for all...its been slow here as
its rather difficult to get enough pendants. But on to some new
information...

I had the chance to speak with Tenebrion again, albeit for only a brief
time. He said he had trained another slave to teach us the ways of
ether/ethereal amulets. He said he was digging out a chamber for him,
and would be finished in a puddlemonth or so. Good news there. The
other matter he spoke of was a bit confusing, regarding chaos and order
and understanding the nature of ether. I think, basically, he means the
more you understand ether, the less chaotic it seems. The more you
research and understand, the more you are able to penetrate the
chaos...the  more you know, the more you are able to learn, perhaps?
I'm not quite sure..but he said everything we see as chaos is really
ordered, to a trained, knowledgable, and understanding mind. He also
spoke of further uses of the amulets...but not anything in detail. The
more we are trained and understand, the more apparent uses the amulet
will display. Vague as ever, but this is what we have to deal with.
Hope it is helpful to some people.

Lei'tar,
Wangah Rah

#####
NEW DISCUSSION FORUM AND SURVEY

This group is for the purpose of tracking Ethereal fluctuations on the
island of Puddleby and the Lok'Grotton Islands in general.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/PESC.html

#####
DEWS IN THE OUTPOST
BY MONGO

During a recent dew/trool invasion from the brambles, I happened to be
in the South Forest Field Hospital just as the invasion was starting.

While waiting for reinforcements to arrive with some fellow exiles (a
fallen fighter and healer that I had chained there from the west
entrance, another fallen fighter felled by a mighty blow as he leapt to
safety from the mirror snell, and one other fighter), we were shocked
to see neodews nibbling on the fallen exiles.

We quickly dispatched them, and started musing aloud over how they
could have gotten into what we considered a "safe" area.  While we were
talking, I spotted a mildew and several more neodews near the entrance
to the Outpost.

We killed those quickly, and then went into the Outpost to discover
many more neodews and mildews (I saw nothing larger than a mildew, but
I concentrated on keeping the smaller dews away from the fallen exiles
while the other fighter cleared out the northern area).

The point of this story is to let people know that the "safe" South
Forest Field Hospital may not _always_ be safe.

I hope that their infestation of the Outpost was merely caused by a
great push from the giant dews outside in the mirror sn'ell, but I fear
that it might be a sign of something more sinister...perhaps there is
an opening to a cave somewhere in the Outpost, opened by trools and
their kin, and these dews just wandered in from below.

Yours in Beer,
Mongo

#####
KALA SAHAR COMES TO TOWN
RECORDED BY SOR

Kala Sahar is a Sylvan, is female, is a Merchant, and is not wearing
the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a purse, and she is wearing a sunstone and a
shieldstone.
Kala Sahar has 3 good karma.
(Merlisk waves to Kala Sahar)
Kala Sahar : "hello, poor thoom"
Merlisk : "Greetings, Kala Sahar"
Merlisk : "care to have a seat in the shade?"
Kala Sahar : "I see you have the affliction."
Merlisk : "oh?"
Merlisk : "You mean this dew?"
* You show your lump to Kala Sahar.
Kala Sahar : "sorry but your infection makes you dangerous to me."
Kala Sahar : "yes"
Merlisk : "sorry"
Merlisk : "I'll back up"
Kala Sahar : "it is not your fault"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "Qual's evil"
Merlisk : "I need to get rid of this!"
Merlisk : "Any idea how?"
Kala Sahar : "Is the good healer Tessa around?"
* 'tessa' is not in the lands.
Merlisk : "I'm afraid not"
Kala Sahar : "very sad"
* Xepel shows his lump to everyone.
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "She knows how to remove it?"
Kala Sahar : "I may be able to help her learn to do it"
Merlisk : "ah"
Merlisk : "'tis tricky?"
Merlisk : "I mean, learnin' how to get rid of it?"
Kala Sahar : "but it seems I need to train in tracking to find her"
(Merlisk grins)
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Merlisk : "Have you tried to send her a mail?"
(Merlisk points to the Post Office)
Kala Sahar : "ahh yes the post"
Kala Sahar : "What a thoomish idea. Thooms are always so practical."
(Merlisk grins)
Ailsa : "Kala Sahar, I can look up postbox numbers for you, given the
first part of a person's name."
Kala Sahar : "Tessa"
Ailsa : "I do not see a box for anyone named 'Tessa'."
Kala Sahar : "hmm"
(Merlisk sighs)
Merlisk : "I could perhaps give a message to her"
Kala Sahar : "sadly she does not seem to have a mail box"
(Merlisk sighs)
Merlisk : "Kala Sahar, may I as you a question?"
Kala Sahar : "sure"
Kala Sahar : "I guess"
Merlisk : "What are these dews?"
Kala Sahar : "ahh a long dark story"
Kala Sahar : "best told another time"
Merlisk : "What are these dews? And, why is Qual shovin' 'em down our
throats?"
Merlisk : "ah"
Merlisk : "very well"
Kala Sahar : "you may know all in time"
Merlisk : "I shan't keep you then"
Merlisk ponders, "I hope so"
Merlisk : "but there is a cure...right?"
(Merlisk crosses his flippers)
Kala Sahar : "I'm told there is a cure for every disease"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "I sure hope so"
Kala Sahar : "I may be out a bit"
Merlisk : "no problem"
Kala Sahar : "the library is so dusty"
Merlisk : "I'll relay to Tessa your message"
Merlisk : "have a beer in the pub"
Merlisk : "that's good for dust"
Kala Sahar : "Dwarves tell me beer is good for everything"
Merlisk : "I remember a merchant from Peaceton so long ago"
Merlisk thinks, "If anyone sees Tessa, please let her know that I and
Kala Sahar are looking for her."
Droch : "Amputating something from someone. Why, got special doctor
stuff?"
Kala Sahar : "I'm told she can help me...or I can help her... we share
a common interest."
Merlisk : "Kala, have you ever been to Peaceton?"
Kala Sahar : "Peaceton...hmmm"
Kala Sahar : "I have been so many places...I may have been there"
Merlisk : "We're worried for them"
Kala Sahar : "Is that the land with the Queen who has Six Eyes?"
Merlisk : "ewww"
Kala Sahar : "hmmm"
Merlisk : "Hope not"
Kala Sahar : "so many places... I should have known it would hide in a
place like this."
Merlisk : "It? The Dew thing?"
Merlisk : "I wish I could find out what Qual was dewing"
Kala Sahar : "The dews are only a part of a greater whole... a drop of
blood in a great beast."
Indigo : "is the whole... beast... here, good merchant?"
Kala Sahar : "eeh?"
Kala Sahar : "must have drifted off to sleep a wink."
Merlisk : "Kala, how does even fathom to kill the whole if its parts
are all creatures?"
Merlisk : "Kala, would these lumps grow into full dews?"
Kala Sahar : "it is a creature without definite form"
Kala Sahar : "If IT keeps to its ways IT will hide far underground and
have its minions do ITs bidding."
Kala Sahar : "This talk of a Qual bothers me though."
Merlisk ponders, "me too"
Kala Sahar : "is or was Qual an exile such as yourselves?"
Merlisk ponders, "Or Qual *is* the dew"
Merlisk : "Not accordin' to my first meetin' of him, Kala Sahar"
Merlisk : "I met him in the old Castle courtyard"
Indigo : "There are rumors that he is in league with the Darshak, or
perhaps was one, once. But I know not the veracity of such statements."
Merlisk : "Years ago...."
Merlisk : "He was never an exile"
Kala Sahar : "The source would never put itself in danger... does this
Qual ever come out in the open?"
Merlisk : "yes"
Kala Sahar : "then Qual is but a mask I would guess"
Kala Sahar : "a hop or skip and I'm where I need to be."
(Kala Sahar laughs!)
Sutai : "It is queen dew, right?"
Kala Sahar : "It is the Source."
Kala Sahar : "some might call it the Dark Bubbling but it has as many
names as it has faces."
Sutai : "Oh, yes.. Source.. I thought at one time this information was
supposed to be hidden, so Qual couldn't find out we knew."
Kala Sahar : "what do I call it?"
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Aldernon : "I take it we may've heard that bubbling in places on
Dal'Noth then"
Kala Sahar : "we are in polite company I dare not say least you think
less of me."
(Merlisk grins)
Wangah Rah ponders, "She must be ancient...and we age so slowly..."
Kala Sahar : "Hard to say anymore. I wander more then I am at any one
place."
Indigo : "You remember not where you were raised? Your family?"
Aldernon : "Kala, are we in danger here. Assuming it is close?"
Kala Sahar : "none of that is important."
(Merlisk waves to Kala Sahar)
Kala Sahar : "in danger? from what I have seen of this isle you are
always in one danger or another."
(Aldernon chuckles)
Aldernon : "very true, very true =)"
Indigo : "Hm."
Kala Sahar : "this is but one raindrop in the storm."
Indigo : "Was there something that you sensed that brought you here,
Kala?"
Aldernon : "there is more than one It?"
Kala Sahar : "It knows I can teach the power to destroy It."
(Aldernon nods)
Sor : "Oh do you?"
ShadowEarth : "just it?"
ShadowEarth : "or other things too?"
Kala Sahar : "when it feels strong it tries to draw me in to destroy
me"
Aldernon : "does It fear you then?"
Indigo : "Teach powers? What do you mean?"
Kala Sahar : "when it is weak it hides away and leaves no trace."
ShadowEarth : "well then you came to right place.. tons of adventures
here ;)"
Indigo : "Does "It" reside in other islands, or must it stay close to
itself?"
Sutai : "Isn't Bubbring concentrated under Noth?"
(Aldernon nods to Sutai)
Kala Sahar : "Qual, the mask of this beast, would not often travel far
from where it hides."
Indigo : "I see."
Kala Sahar : "Is there a place where he is most often seen?"
Aldernon : "yes, most often on Dal'Noth Isle"
Aldernon : "an isle surrounded by illusion"
DragonClaw : "Want to go to Dal'noth to meet him?"
DragonClaw ponders, "hmm..."
Sor : "Qual has been seen sometimes in the southern brambles as well…
on this island"
(Aldernon nods)
Sor : "He's negotiating with trools"
Kala Sahar : "Dal'Noth where is this place?"
Indigo : "Yei. He seems to have some power over creatures known as
trool'kin"
Sor : "It's far in the north ocean"
Kala Sahar : "he may have infected them as he tries to infect your
town"
Kala Sahar : "your diversity protects you"
Aldernon : "!"
Aldernon : "that would explain some things"
Indigo : "He seems to mobilize them into armies who march toward town.
Sometimes dews are with them."
Wangah Rah : "What of the ones who have already been dewed, infected?"
Kala Sahar : "there are some races that he seems yet unable to touch"
Aldernon : "is it possible then, the Noth were all infected and left
the town abandoned, by this It?"
Kala Sahar : "I would guess it took the townsfolk to be its servants.
made them part of the whole."
Solas ponders, "hmm"
Kala Sahar : "it is the way it grows"
(Aldernon shivers)
Magnous ponders, "Qual is more insidious then he seemed"
Aldernon : "is that what it has in store for us then? those who've been
'dewed'?"
Indigo : "Do those who are taken as servants have a particular... hm...
outward change in appearance?"
Kala Sahar : "in most cases one dew supresses the host while a second
takes over the body."
(Sor gulps)
Indigo : "Do we know of any who have been dewed twice?"
Kala Sahar : "this usually results in a major change in apperance."
Aldernon : "and....and...the 3rd?"
Magnous : "such as?"
Delirium : "are the dews and noths related?"
Kala Sahar : "no need for a third. two and some time are all that is
needed."
Magnous : "how does the affected's apperance change?"
Aldernon : "how long does this take? does it vary?"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Wasn't Tessa finding a way to fix this?"
Kala Sahar : "If It is not stopped this town may well wake up to find
itself lost and under Its sway."
(Indigo frowns.)
Kala Sahar : "not all wars are fought with swords."
Indigo : "That is very true, good merchant."
Aldernon : "but....you can teach us how to fight it though, right?"
Magnous : "Kala, are there any common symptoms of the physical changes
of an infected?"
Indigo : "Yei, you said you could teach us powers to fight it."
Sutai : "teach us to use that shierdstone & we wirr defeat Quar more
easiry :)"
Kala Sahar : "This one named Tessa sounds as if she may have promise."
Wangah Rah : "One sylvan doctor will not win the war...what of the
common exile?"
Aldernon : "she pursues many things...I'm sure she does have promise"
(Kala Sahar sighs)
Indigo : "Kala, the one called Dr. Malthus is one of many exiles
interested in this situation. Is there nothing you can teach the rest?"
Kala Sahar : "maybe I don't know"
Wangah Rah : "And maybe yi do?"
Kala Sahar : "it is hard to say unless I find them."
Aldernon : "I'm sure some here would be willing to try to learn..."
Wangah Rah : "At this moment, yi have nothing?"
Indigo : "no wisdom to offer the rest of us?"
Wangah Rah : "Yi speak of great tales..."
Aldernon : "what is it you seek in an exile that show's their
"promise"?"
Wangah Rah : "Surely yi have something? Or wisdom as she says?"
Kala Sahar : "prior experience"
Aldernon : "ah"
Aldernon : "we may be able to steer you to another that can help"
Aldernon : "Paramedic has experience!"
Kala Sahar : "Tessa has examined many dews I'm told"
Aldernon : "Paramedic has examined as many, I'd guess"
Wangah Rah : "Others have killed many"
Solas : "I believe Achates did as well"
Indigo : "many of us have fought them at great risk."
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon : "I've been to see him many times"
Aldernon : "and spoken about this lump"
Paramedic : "Tessa is the expert"
Aldernon : "he's always done his best to help"
Kala Sahar : "has anyone, other then Tessa, collected some of the fluid
from the lumps or growths?"
Paramedic : "No, just Tessa"
Kala Sahar : "then Tessa is the one I seek."
* Aldernon shivers fitfully
Indigo : "Kala, we see you are a merchant. What do you sell?"
Wangah Rah : "How old are yi, Kala?"
Sutai ponders, "hopefully the stone!"
Kala Sahar : "ZZZzzz...."
Jeanne ponders, "she fell asleep?"
(Ayella raises an eyebrow.)
Rael the Squonk ponders, "Narcoleptic..."
Kala Sahar : "zZZZzz..."
* Aldernon shivers violently.
Rael the Squonk : "One lump, or two?"
Paramedic : "Two"
Aldernon : "I'm....cold"
(Lucio grins.)
Kala Sahar : "yes, Sutai their eyes ARE his eyes... or the eyes of the
Dark Bubbling to be more truthful."
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "it is not so much what she has done but what she has
collected."
Aldernon : "Kala...."
Kala Sahar : "yes Aldernon?"
* Hex shivers involuntarily.
Aldernon : "is there nothing you can do....until you find Tessa"
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "sadly no"
(Aldernon nods to Kala, slowly)
Aldernon : "what...can we expect? those that...have been infected"
Kala Sahar : "I can not do what she has done. And I need what she has
collected to help."
* Hex shivers involuntarily.
Aldernon : "I understand..."
Aldernon : "=/"
Hex : "Kala..."
* Aldernon shivers involuntarily.
Kala Sahar : "The Dark Bubbling knows I am close. Those affected will
have worse symptomes near me."
Sor ponders, "?"
Hex : "There's no evidence that those... lumps are contagious,
correct?"
Kala Sahar : "move away to feel better."
Kala Sahar : "they can be spread by the source or its agents."
Sutai : "!"
(Aldernon slowly moves away from Kala)
Jeanne : "You mean Aldernon can give someone else a dew as well?"
Sutai : "Do agents incrude those who have been infected?"
Kala Sahar : "if he gets two dews he may soon find the need to give a
third to an uninfected person"
Aldernon : "will the symptoms increase, now that you are visiting?"
Kala Sahar : "only when you are near me Aldernon."
Aldernon : "it is difficult, if you can help, yet we cannot be near you
=/"
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "those infected can do little to help me."
(Aldernon coughs)
Shere Khan : "that's why you need tessa the intermediary"
Aldernon : "are we, to be "written off" then?"
* Hex shivers for a moment.
Aldernon : "Kala, are certain races more susceptible?"
* Aldernon shivers suddenly.
Kala Sahar : "I shall return another time to find this Tessa"
Wangah Rah : "Kala, let me understand. Yi have no knowledge, equipment,
or anything else to help anyone save Tessa?"
(Aldernon frowns)
Delirium : "Tessa may be out a little later"
Aldernon : "thank you for coming, and offering some hope at least"
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Kala Sahar : "I never said I didn't have equipment."
* Ein Kala Sahar shows her wood and crystal tool to everyone.
Sutai : "Hmm, quite interesting."
Sor : "a wood and crystal tool?"
* Entil'Zha shivers for a moment.
Jeanne ponders, "interesting"
Aldernon : "be well, Kala Sahar"
* Hex shivers suddenly.
Sutai : "I wonder what it does.."
Sor yells, "be well Kala, we shall tell Tessa about you!"
Kala Sahar : "some have called it a Separ... but it has many names."
Jo Ma'ril : "!"
Sor : "!!"
Sutai : "!"
Jo Ma'ril : "The Separ?!"
* Aldernon shivers suddenly.
Wangah Rah : "Separ!"
Sor : "the Separ??"
Aldernon ponders, "the Separ!"
Sutai : "Separ.. to destroy It."
Sor : "damnit!"
Magnous : "whats a Separ?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Where'd she go?"
Sor : "A legendary item…"
* Kala Sahar is no longer Clanning.
Aldernon : "it looked like what had been described to us"

Dr. Malthus meets Kala Shar

Kala Sahar : "can we go some place quiet to talk?"
Kala Sahar : "too many dews about"
Dr Malthus : "That would be good.. would you like to go to my office?"
Crius yells, "It's 3 o'clock, and all's well."
* Entil'Zha shivers for a moment.
Jo Ma'ril : "Let 'em talk in private people."
Dr Malthus : "Hmmm.... Cori?"
Kala Sahar : "lead on. please no others come."
Coriakin : "Aye, Tessa?"
* Henryk shivers for a moment.
Dr Malthus : "Would you mind if the thoom came along?"
Thirteenth Rat shivers for a moment.
Dr Malthus : "Of course.. if it is a medical matter..."
Kala Sahar : "I guess one thoom would be ok"
* Xepel shivers fitfully.
(Dr Malthus nods)
(Coriakin smiles)
Coriakin : "Thankee, kindly"
Dr Malthus : "This way then..."
Kala Sahar : "shall we?"
Shen Calin ponders, ":)"
Jo Ma'ril thinks to you, "I'll keep people outta your office."
(Jo Ma'ril waves.)
Dr Malthus : "Please.."
(Dr Malthus holds the chair)
Dr Malthus : "Have a seat! You must be tired."
Dr Malthus : "Where are you from?"
Kala Sahar : "pardon"
Coriakin : "No worries :)"
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
Dr Malthus : "Where are you from?"
Kala Sahar : "I'm told you have taken fluid from the lumps?"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "I've been studying them for years..."
Kala Sahar : "may I have a sample?"
Dr Malthus : "in hopes of finding a cure."
(Kala Sahar gets out a wooden bowl.)
Dr Malthus : "Ummm..."
Kala Sahar : "and so we may"
Dr Malthus : "They were really hard to come by... Can I ask...."
Kala Sahar : "just pour it in the bowl"
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
Dr Malthus ponders, "Ewww...."
Dr Malthus : "Excuse me for being a bit.. cautious?"
Kala Sahar : "then go get some and return"
(Dr Malthus gets out a key and unlocks her cabinet)
(Dr Malthus sets a tray out on the shelf, and pulls out a notebook)
(Dr Malthus also takes out a clipboard)
Dr Malthus : "They're there.. on the counter...."
Dr Malthus : "I understand that you have some interest in stopping the
spread of this menace?"
Kala Sahar : "more then interest."
Dr Malthus : "Hmm?? Do go on..."
Kala Sahar : "ability"
Dr Malthus : "How so..."
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Kala Sahar : "but I need a sample of the fluid to make ready the
Separ."
Dr Malthus : "The Separ??"
(Coriakin glances at Kala's tool)
* Ein Kala Sahar shows her wood and crystal tool to everyone.
Dr Malthus : "You have it???? I've only read about it."
(Dr Malthus seems cautious)
Kala Sahar : "well there is only one"
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Dr Malthus : "I hate to be presumptuous... surely.. if you understand
the background..."
Dr Malthus : "you must know that caution is in order?"
Kala Sahar : "passed from keeper to keeper to hunt the beast"
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Dr Malthus : "Do you mean.. "it" ?"
Kala Sahar : "but now it is time to pass it to a new keeper."
Kala Sahar : "yes IT the Dark Bubbling"
Coriakin : "The hive mind?"
Dr Malthus : "Oh so that's what that is in that riddle then..."
Dr Malthus : "the one I read about?"
Kala Sahar : "when it arrives one of my order will try to go and give
the Separ."
Dr Malthus : "You wouldn't mind... then.. if I did a brief physical?
Just to be on the safe side?"
Dr Malthus : "It... won't take too long."
Kala Sahar : "In most cases the arrival of the separ drives off the
dark bubbling... but I fear here things may be different."
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Dr Malthus : "Do you think more may be needed?"
Dr Malthus : "I have a list.. of many.. who have been infected... and
from whom I have taken samples..."
Kala Sahar : "The dark bubbling seems to have learned that it can save
and use the minds of some of those it infects"
Otepei thinks, "ThoomCare™ North West Forest Hospital is Open!"
Dr Malthus : "Sometimes...I fear... "It" has been very resistant."
Dr Malthus : "Oh... yes! I see that.... in that they become as agents
for...."
Dr Malthus : "their master?"
Kala Sahar : "It is no smarter then the myrm queen... But this talk of
Qual..."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin ponders, "So they really are possesed..."
Dr Malthus : "I haven't ever seen him.. But I surmise that he is trying
to exert some control over it?"
Dr Malthus : "some... domination.. to use for his own means whatever
they are."
Dr Malthus : "That... I really have no clue about."
Kala Sahar : "well he may think so"
(Kala Sahar laughs!)
(Dr Malthus nods)
(Dr Malthus smiles)
Kala Sahar : "The Dark Bubbling has many lies to tell."
Dr Malthus : "Well.... still... it is not exactly a safe situation!"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "Uh.. huh..."
Dr Malthus ponders, "Thuja..."
Coriakin ponders, "Caddrel..."
Dr Malthus : "People have been tel... well..."
Kala Sahar : "The Separ can cure those infected but not fully changed."
Dr Malthus : "A few of the infected ones are very very afraid."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "so exiles with lumps and growths can be saved."
Dr Malthus : "I've noticed the disease can progress...."
Coriakin : "But what of those more greviously infected?"
Dr Malthus : "From my predictions... after it evolves into a
growth...."
Kala Sahar : "those who have changed in apperance can not be saved...
i.e. 'Noth."
(Dr Malthus shudders)
Coriakin : "Ah."
(Dr Malthus nods... Oh!!!!)
Dr Malthus : "Is that the final form???"
(Dr Malthus looks suddenly fascinated)
Kala Sahar : "I'm not sure"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "So you need ... some of my samples then?"
Dr Malthus : "I have... uh..."
Dr Malthus : "Eleven...."
Kala Sahar : "Qual seems to be trapped IN MID-CHANGE"
Dr Malthus : "and quite a few preserved neodews as well."
Coriakin : "Really?"
Dr Malthus : "Oh????"
Kala Sahar : "I'm not sure if he can be cured."
Dr Malthus : "That sounds VERY dangerous."
Kala Sahar : "when folks change to the new form they go crazy and
become mindless"
Dr Malthus ponders, "I really would prefer to do a brief physical on
her first..."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "I see..."
Kala Sahar : "Qual is not mindless, so he must not be fully changed."
Dr Malthus : "Under Its control... Dark Bubbling???"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "But what of the minds the Dark Bubbling steals?"
Dr Malthus : "That would follow... tell me.. where did the name "dark
bubbling" come form????"
Kala Sahar : "once you cure the exiles you may well wish to try to cut
him off from the Dark Bubbling"
Kala Sahar : "if you saw it you would know"
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Coriakin : "Ah, so it is a physical entity?"
Dr Malthus : "Okay.. I.. get the picture then..."
Kala Sahar : "well"
Dr Malthus : "Do you know where it is?"
Kala Sahar : "it is many parts in a whole, but there are dense areas I
guess."
(Coriakin nods)
Kala Sahar : "areas with more parts."
Dr Malthus : "Hmmm..."
Coriakin : "Like Dal'Noth island"
Kala Sahar : "to quicker activity"
(Coriakin nods)
Kala Sahar : "hard to explain"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "and mostly unimportant."
Coriakin : "I see"
Kala Sahar : "what we need now is to stop the spread"
Dr Malthus : "Well.. the fact that you are divulging all of this..
information... is certainly a good sign..."
Dr Malthus : "Tell me what you want then..."
(Coriakin blinks)
Kala Sahar : "If it spreads the Dark Bubbling will feel safe and stay"
Coriakin : "Er..."
(Dr Malthus picks up her tray)
Coriakin : "When did this bird get here?"
Kala Sahar : "place some fluid in the bowl"
Dr Malthus : "Did you take care of it?"
Coriakin : "Aye... Can't be too careful"
Coriakin : "Especially nowadays."
(Dr Malthus carefully opens a vessel labeled "Entil'Zha")
(Dr Malthus holds a small vial of a quivering dark mass)
Kala Sahar : "when those infected are near the Separ their disease will
act up as the dew screams in fear."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "I noticed that."
(Coriakin nods)
(Dr Malthus pours it into Kala's bowl)
Coriakin ponders, "Dark Bubbling indeed"
(Dr Malthus sighs)
(Kala Sahar takes the Separ and waves it over the bowl)
* Kala Sahar is a Sylvan, is female, is a Merchant, and is not wearing
the symbol of any clan.
* She is holding a wood and crystal tool, and she is wearing a sunstone
and a shieldstone.
(Dr Malthus watches with interest)
(Kala Sahar mutters a quiet chant)
(Kala Sahar touches the fluid with the crystal.)
(Dr Malthus peers)
Kala Sahar : "ahhh!"
Coriakin : "Aha!"
Dr Malthus : "What is that?"
Kala Sahar : "it is ready"
(Coriakin looks at the item)
* You find a strange object!
Coriakin : "Is that really.... the Separ?"
Kala Sahar : "you have a Separ that is made ready"
Kala Sahar : "BUT!"
* You equip your wood and crystal tool.
Kala Sahar : "know this"
(Coriakin listens intently)
Kala Sahar : "the Separ is not a weapon"
Kala Sahar : "it is a tool of healing"
Dr Malthus : "I am a healer..."
Dr Malthus : "So that would be fitting."
Kala Sahar : "if the Dark Bubbling move on you must follow it and give
the separ to the locals whom it starts to attack"
Kala Sahar : "just as I come to give it to you"
Dr Malthus : "I understand."
Kala Sahar : "you are the 267 holder"
Dr Malthus : "Whatever we can do.. there are lots of people working
for.. and against.. us... Kala"
Dr Malthus : "How does it work?"
Dr Malthus : "is it.. dangerous to others?"
Kala Sahar : "If the Dark Bubbling does not flee keep the Separ and
battle its dark ways."
(Dr Malthus holds it carefully)
Kala Sahar : "you may pass the separ to any you feel worthy to carry
it"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "That's ... fortunate..."
Dr Malthus : "And very helpful"
Kala Sahar : "once it is ready at a new location any local can use it."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "I'm old and tired"
Dr Malthus : "Should I... preserve these other samples?"
Kala Sahar : "finally I can go home"
Dr Malthus : "You must be very tired..."
Coriakin : "Rest east, Kala. We shall take up your fight"
Dr Malthus : "Please though... can you tell me.. how I should use it?"
Kala Sahar : "what you consider today to be a blessing may in the end
be a curse."
Dr Malthus : "How ... we ... should use it?"
Kala Sahar : "never lose hope and consider what others have to lose"
Dr Malthus : "Well.. it is a battle of sorts.. I understand."
(Coriakin nods)
Dr Malthus : "That has always been my goal!"
Dr Malthus : "And that of many others as well..."
Kala Sahar : "ahhhh...and NEVER let the Dark bubbling capture the
Separ"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you so much for helping us... I was beginning to
dispair!"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "That would be disastrous"
Kala Sahar : "there is only one and if it is lost ALL maybe lost"
Coriakin thinks to you, "No pressure or anything. ;)"
(Dr Malthus sighs)
Kala Sahar : "simply touch them with the crystal as you might use
anyother healing stone."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "The Separ knows its job and is of a single mind."
(Coriakin blinks)
Kala Sahar : "guide it well and it will be a kind servant"
Coriakin ponders, "Knows its mind?"
Dr Malthus : "Would you mind if.... if... we tried it out while you are
here?"
Coriakin : "Is it... alive?"
Kala Sahar : "sure"
Kala Sahar : "Coriakin bring us one infected person"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you..."
(Coriakin nods)
Dr Malthus : "One is on the way"
Coriakin : "Very well"
Coriakin : "oh?"
Kala Sahar : "we shall await your return"
(Coriakin brings Jo ;))
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Jo Ma'ril : "'lo."
(Dr Malthus seems nervous)
Dr Malthus : "Jo...."
Coriakin : "Ahoy there, Jo"
(Dr Malthus winces)
Kala Sahar : "thooms are so efficient"
Jo Ma'ril : "Tessa?"
(Coriakin grins)
Dr Malthus : "I really... don't know what this is gonna do..."
Jo Ma'ril : "er"
Dr Malthus : "Are you... ready?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Well."
(Dr Malthus holds the object gently)
Jo Ma'ril : "It can't be any worse than having this thing stuck in me"
(Coriakin sorta moseys behind Jo, not guarding the door at all)
Dr Malthus : "Here goes..."
(Dr Malthus gently touches Jo with the tool)
* Jo Ma'ril shivers from head to foot.
* You hold your crystal wand over Jo Ma'ril; it vibrates weakly.
(Jo Ma'ril winces)
Jo Ma'ril : "it's gone!"
(Coriakin blinks)
* Jo Ma'ril stumbles.
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
(Coriakin supports Jo)
Kala Sahar : "see"
* Jo Ma'ril falls to the ground, shuddering.
Dr Malthus : "Are you okay?"
* Jo Ma'ril gags, chokes, and vomits up a spore.
Dr Malthus : "Jo!!!"
Jo Ma'ril : "er no"
Jo Ma'ril : "I don't feel so good."
Kala Sahar : "he needs to regain control"
Jo Ma'ril : "gah"
Coriakin : "Ack!"
Kala Sahar : "it's out!"
Dr Malthus : "Kill that!"
* You equip your greatsword.
Kala Sahar : "kill it"
Jo Ma'ril : "I can't......"
Dr Malthus : "Where did it go?"
Jo Ma'ril : "outside"
Jo Ma'ril : "hurr"
Coriakin : "Can you kill it?"
* You helped kill a Mildew.
Coriakin : "Whew!"
Jo Ma'ril : "a bit better"
Coriakin : "It is dead"
Dr Malthus : "Are you better?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Is it..."
Jo Ma'ril : "ah"
Coriakin : "How d'ya feel, Jo?"
Jo Ma'ril : "a bit better, yes"
(Dr Malthus hugs the old woman!)
Jo Ma'ril : "thank you so much!"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you!!!"
Kala Sahar : "now you have much work ahead"
Dr Malthus : "I wonder what happens for someone with a more.. advanced
case...."
(Jo Ma'ril tries walking, slowly)
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "How can we thank ye enough?"
Dr Malthus : "Could I offer you some tea?"

#####
BAWKMAS POETY BY SLEIPNIR

'Twas the night before Bawkmas, and in Puddleby
not a creature was stirring, not even a flea;
The stockings were hung by the town hall with care,
In hope that the Santa Chick soon would be there.

The exiles were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of greatswords danced all through their heads;
And Babs in her nightie (and I was there too)
Had just settled down in the Tor for a cup of tea,

When out from the town there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a hare
(Blushing a bit, 'cause my bottom was bare)

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what should come driving through Puddleby's homes
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight Pogue Mahones,

With a fat, ugly driver, a beastly old bag,
I knew that it must be Althea the hag.
More rapid than spriggins her clan mates they came,
And she whistled and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now Devil! now, Cutlas! now Baffette you vixen,
On, Klur, Aki, Wisher! on, Malkor and Blitzen!
To the top of the Tor! to the roof of the Hall!
Now Pogue Mahone, Pogue Mahone, Pogue Mahone all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the hall-top the Poguies they flew,
With a sleigh full of ugly, malicious old shrew.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from above
The Poguies all giving Althea a shove.
As I drew in my hand, made a run for the door,
Through the chimney Althea fell down on the floor.

She was dressed all in grey, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
An empty old sack she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a homeless bag lady on crack.

Her hair needed washing! her pimples, how hairy!
Her huge greasy nose was as red as a cherry!
Her drooling old mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on her chin (well, you don't want to know).

A piece of old snot was lodged tight in her teeth,
And stench, it encircled her head like a wreath;
She had a broad face, and a huge fat round belly,
That shook, when she belched, like a bowlful of jelly.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And stole all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking her finger up inside her nose
To pull out a bit, up the chimney she rose;

She sprang to her sleigh, to the town gave the finger,
Away stomped the Pogues, they did not want to linger.
As they left, she cried out, with a touch of real class,
"HAPPY BAWKMAS TO ALL. YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ***."

POGUES RESPOND

This from an anonymous member of the Pogues. I'm posting it for him (as
requested) to act as a lightning rod. Heh.

Althea did indeed drop down chimneys that eve,
And come christmas morning Puddleby's citizens grieved.
Although the accounts of her are somewhat unreal -
For only one stocking per household did she indeed steal.

She worked like a dog, she even had to wear grey!
But she simply could not let her important task stray.
Quick as a flash she collected up the toys,
Quiet as a whisper, with barely a noise.

Her "evil" task completed, the sleigh drew away,
Her "reindeer" complained, 'twas a cold winter's day.
But Althea steadfast, drew to an old part of town,
with ramshackle huts, no windows, doors broken down.

The sleigh did not see anywhere scarcely a mouse,
'Till they came across a particularly rundown old house.
'Thea parked on the roof, hoisted the sack to her side,
held her breath; jumped, down the chimney she did "slide".

Her "reindeer" unsaddled, both freezing and sore,
they jumped off the roof, and decided to just take the door.
The Pogues met inside, where the house was pitch black,
Devil quickly lit a match, and complained about his bad back.

As their eyes adjusted all the Pogues plainly see,
a room full of small children, cuddled together sleepily.
"There must be at least 50 now!" Baffette exclaimed,
"That bastard Mobius, he'll exile anyone!" Blitz flamed.

The tiny eyes stirred, and they started to gleam,
they looked upon the Pogues, 'Thea started to beam.
One by one 'Thea pulled out stockings from her sack,
pinned them to the mantle, tight on space, back to back.

She whispered to Baffette, nearly tears in her eyes,
"These poor little orphans will have the most wonderful surprise!"
All year, thoughts of orphans at 'Thea did gnaw,
her job done, she shuffled Pogues out, -no reward.

"The people will hate us, now even more than ever!"
Baffette said with a chatter, teeth nigh frozen together.
"It's a small price to pay for spreading such Bawkmas cheer,
these orphans have no family, it's a shame!" 'Thea stared.

"I just wish the community could know what we do,
I so dislike bk, we're surely not evil, it's true!"
"Secret trips deep in Outback, searching for logs,
Kismia; finding stuff to make potions (chasing down frogs)".

"I'm all for helping others", Baffette was heard to say,
"But they all hate us, can't we tell them some day?"
"No, never!!", Althea exclaimed, her face drawing red,
"The last time everyone knew, the children ended up dead!"

"The lackeys of Mobius are in every single clan!"
"We tell a soul outside us, and they'll torch the place again!"
Althea, tired, put her arms weakly around some of her clan,
And dragged herself, freezing through the snow - to next year do it all
again.

#####
OPEN LETTER TO KORIC
BY MERLISK THE THOOM

Dear Koric:

Since I'm stuck in the library recovering from a spell of fatigue, I
decided to read your Journal at

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

You do quite a good job of recording the events of Puddleby and I wish
to commend you.

I did read with interest a comment you've made recently of Orgas
appearing in town. As I'm sure you're aware, Wangah and I recently went
on a quest for ingredients to perform a summoning ritual. Luckily, we
were able to find some stalwart adventurers to accompany us, your
objections notwithstanding.

After the gathering (quite an ordeal!), Wangah and I spent some time
carefully going over my Auntie's summoning spell and performing the
required ritual. We then proceeded to town center for the actual
summoning, to prove that we could actually control the beasts we
summoned.

As all know, the spell worked as intended! (Well, okay, we had to add a
few more ingredients.)  But, we summoned Zerks to town! Fortunately,
Wangah and I, with help from Darnok, were able to corner a Zerk before
its untimely death at the hands of Natas. The Zerk seemed incapable of
understanding us and continued attacking. I then asked bards to play
soothing music. Cloud and Rylantar both played lullabies for the
creatures. Alas, the dumb brute was uncommunicative.

Allow me to say that summoning these creatures was not a mistake! We
have much that could be learned from the beasts including the
whereabouts of our catapult, teleportation magic, illusions, and untold
wonders! I only ask that you tell our fellow exiles that not every Orga
need be immediately killed. With the right magic, they'll tell us
everything!

I grow weary again. That spell took its toil on upon my being. I rest
now, but I hope to see everyone soon.

Gaia be with us all!

Merlisk

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

THE DWARVEN MILITIA

http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/

Visit the Dwarven Militia's scroll for

* The History of Dwarves
* The Dwarven Militia Baking Contest
* The Puddleby Pushball League
* The Dwarven Volympics
* The Dwarven Militia Brewing Contest
and much more, including visionstones and a library of information

#####
RECENT COURT RECORDS

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_114_18_06 on 24 Spring, 544 at 18:42..."
Clerus says, "Kojiro accused Dr Malthus of using magic on me without my
consent...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_114_19_39 on 24 Spring, 544 at 20:48..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Trespasser of For being an idiot and
betraying us..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 83 minutes in jail, 171c fine and
4 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_123_21_30 on 33 Spring, 544 at 22:31..."
Clerus says, "Nargoth accused Samael of Defiling our town and
impersonating an exile..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 73 minutes in jail, 92c fine and
3 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_144_14_37 on 54 Spring, 544 at 15:24..."
Clerus says, "Micheal accused Prue of doing evil things to algy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; probation."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_188_09_05 on 8 Summer, 544 at 10:23..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Sephiroth of Harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 13 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
Clerus exclaims, "There you go!"

#####
HOROSCOPES FOR EXILES
BY MAGPIE

Orcipus the Pig
I could tell you what is going to happen to you this zodiac, but then I
might be tried as an accomplice for the mess in town center. I can
however warn you to stay the hell away from any suspicious looking
Tangleberry pies.

Falinea the Centaur
You and a... uh friend are going to do uh... something as the romance
catches the better of you after Koric and Felicity's wedding... just
don't do it near the tree by the tattoo shop, there will be some people
coming along while the two of you are... uh... you know... wink, wink,
say no more.

Ma'Taline the Mystic
It's a wacky zodiac for those born under the sign of the mystic. It
will start when Ma Toda tells you to "Come back when I give a damn."
The zany antics of your zodiac will continue when Qual will reveal to
all over the sunstone exactly how many chocolate doughnuts you ate when
you were depressed after learning Prue just wants you for your
liliberries.

Detros the Ruknee
Fighters born under this Zodiac have a special time in store for the
next few weeks when many of you will come across a few spare moonstones
and have "a crisis of the spirit." For the rest of you expect a warm
and happy zodiac, expect for Halflings, your nightmares of Gerag's
return will be replaced by horrible dreams of taking the circle test
naked.

Awjus and Hamusa the Shredders
Well, the stars smile upon those born under the fish. Especially
thooms, of course. Nothing real special is going to happen, but boy
will those stars be smiling! You betcha'!

Josephus the Ancient
Romance is in the air this zodiac. Not for those born under the sign of
the Ancient, but you will be able to see a lot of the romance from your
cold and lonely perch as those around you find love and happiness.
Exiles may vote to start calling the Abyss in your name.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith,
Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####
Cover the mirror, hide in your dreams
Forget what they told you, forget what it means
A picture worth a thousand lies, the memory and the mirror
Nothing but what came before, nothing but a closing door
A picture worth a thousand lies
A thousand words
A thousand eyes

"Bury My Lovely"
- October Project

I'm starting to work on the next Fishwrap. Now is the time to send in
your news, articles, surveys, clan or personal biographies, or
whatever else you may have.

Don't forget that Fishwrap has very inexpensive advertising rates,
and your ad will reach over 180 exiles.

Your friendly neighborhood Thoom
Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Printed in beautiful downtown Puddleby"

Issue #45: "The Fur and the Flames"
Special Super-sized Edition: Ideal for Wrapping Leftover Roast Vulture
[November 22, 2001]
Circulation: 182

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Exiles Get Fuzzy
Explosive Event
Katpus Speaks
Merlisk and Wangah Rah Try a Spell
Malkor Still Alive
Memories of Mystic Healer
Explorations Advance

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* A discussion with Umbrion
* Fat Alice's hut on the beach of the island is now renovated
* Fat Alice potion price remains expensive
* More Darshak
* Norm gets a training ledger from Regia
* Callia measuring levels of ether
* Festival of T'srrin
* Carnival in East Farms
* Exiles contracting Lyfe disease
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
(note new address)
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Puddleby Task Force visits the Lyfe cave
* Rumors of a new Darshak base
* Updates on mysteries surrounding Tenebrion and Umbrion
* Exile discussions with Brion brothers seem to be on the upswing
* The Phantasmonomicon
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* LIFE passes through Dred Passage, into Foothills
* Katpus speaks (see below in this issue of Fishwrap)
* Sparkle stones
* Fat Alice's new hut
* Lyfelidae syndrome
* The nasty salve
* The wedding of Arod and D'Noma
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* The study of Ethereal Amulets
* Kizmia's Island Travel log
* A trip to Devil's Island with Kiriel
* The Feast of T'srrin
* The Order of the Mini
* The Ethereal Survey of Puddleby
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* LIFE discovers new paths in the North Eastern Foothills
* The Crafters of Oblivion
* The Feast of T'srrin
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

News from the Fen Bureau

So many shocking events have occurred over the past few weeks that I am
still reeling from some of the ramifications that present themselves to
me. Here are the most important events that I've had the pleasure to
see first- or second-hand.

NOX SORORA CHAPTERHOUSE BURNT DOWN
     Never before have exiles had the power to destroy a building under
construction but that all changed when Polgara literally blew up the
Nox Sorora Chapter house.

     Over the past few weeks, mysterious colored rocks were discovered
(and continue to be found) all over these lands. It turns out that a
traitor Darshak Sage was able to combine one of each colored rock into
a potion that, once lit, explodes and burns anything nearby. Both
Polgara and the Hunter clan managed to obtain not only stones of each
of the five colors but a meeting with the Darshak Sage to make the
potion. While the Hunter clan deliberated on what to do with the potion
and got both sides of the story (Darshak and Nox Sorora), Polgara had
her mind made up already. While Jo Ma'ril was talking to the Nox
Sorora, Polgara quickly slipped behind the chapter house and lit the
fuse. Several exiles that were near the chapter house fell due to the
immense heat but were quickly raised. Naamah and Lacrima then pulled
out their bloodblades and pretended to fight each other which was
really quite silly.

     There is a lot of misinformation about but this is what I
understand from my reading on the subject. The Nox Sorora are enemies
of the Darshak who are enemies of Puddleby. So far, you'd think we'd be
best buddies but the Nox Sorora have some strange powers as well as an
allegiance with the Undine. Or maybe just Lilit has an allegiance with
the Undine and the other Nox Sorora either agree with her work or
haven't said anything against it publicly. In addition, there isn't a
definitive explanation of what the Nox Sorora really want to do. Those
loyal to the Nox Sorora mock the rest of us for ignorance but ignorant
simply beans "lacking knowledge and education in general or in a
specific subject." Maybe if the Nox Sorora was more forthcoming with
their beliefs and their future course of actions, exiles wouldn't be
afraid of them. Maybe if the Nox Sorora shows us what their powers are
and how they came from them and what they plan to do with them, exiles
wouldn't be afraid of them. Maybe some fear that the Nox Sorora would
do anything to defeat the Darshak, even if it harms Puddleby and exiles
in the process.

     The best way for fear and ignorance to stop is for the Nox Sorora
to be more forthright with who they are. Of course, I could be wrong
too. So many people around here do love keeping secrets.

UMBRION'S KEEP AND LYFE-ISM
     The mysteries of this island seem to mainly two; Umbrion's Keep and
the disease called Lyfelidaism. Thanks to the wonders of visionstones,
I have seen this island and the dangers and benefits that are to be
found there.

     In Umbrion's Keep, anyone can learn how to use and buy a
Phantasmonomicon which creates illusions in sentient beings. Those in
the mystic guild can also train in the use of the Ether Amulet which
measures the activity of ether in the area. Finally you can trade an
Albino Maha pelt and 500 coins to make an off-white cloak.

     In the rest of the island, you can face many strong and powerful
creatures while you attempt to find your tree to get off the island.
You can also catch the disease called Lyfelidaism which turns you into
a furry dog that walks on its hind legs. I've seen a number of those
affected emit bad smells and hunger for their fellow exiles. In fact,
Neige reports that he got bitten by Aki and that is how he acquired the
disease. Luminary reports that Aki chased her as well.

     Every time exiles go over to Kizmia's Isle to find the ingredients
for the curing potion, more get affected. What will be the result of
this? Will those affected eventually bite everyone else so the majority
of exiles have Lyfelidaism? What will happen then? Oh, you might say
that nothing bad will happen and that's what I thought until I heard of
Neige being bitten by Aki. I suggest that everyone stay away from those
affected and stay away from Kizmia's Isle (unless you're already
infected)!

MALKOR AUCTIONS WEDDING RING
     In order to free up an inventory slot, Malkor auctioned his wedding
ring from Cassandra for 1 coin a ticket. Cassandra  told me, upon
questioning, that she was extremely upset and he had better get the
ring back or else. I haven't heard of them splitting up so Malkor must
have done what she asked.

OTHER NEWS
     In the grange, Zuku has arrived to sell kudzu bags which are
specially designed to keep the seedlings healthy and sell for 50 coins
each. I never even knew that seedlings could get sick. Is this another
way to take up an inventory slot or do they speak of something neat
coming in the future such as farming?

     Next to the costume shop is Oukkri, who is collecting white
feathers so the ballroom costumers can make chicken costumes. Perhaps
now Super Chicken can look like a chicken for at least part of the
time. I can hardly imagine how foot pulling in town is going to be like
when the participants all look like chickens.

     Nyssa, one of the most outspoken of mystics, has returned to the
lands.

     The Sylvan Outpost is still closed. Makes me wonder if the Sylvan
are always this inept.

     Witkus now accepts returns, with a hefty restocking fee,
tangleberries and togron nuts are edible, and fallen people don't heal
while they're studying any more.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Remember that all exiles are provided free healthcare service at the
ThoomCare hospitals, located in South Forest and the Northwest Forest.
ThoomCare healers or affiliates routinely work in the hospitals to
provide healing in these dangerous areas.

http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/hospitalposter.html

***

ThoomCare members (and others interested in contemporary Thoom affairs)
Be sure to read the Thoom Mailing List:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom

***

Here are some journals you may not be reading:

The Life of Kirth Gersen in Exile, Journal

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/journal.html

Rock Out With Your Flock Out, by Shepherd

http://www.noxsorora.com/shepherd/diary/

  - Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
"LIFE AS A LYFE"
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH PANOS
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Panos generates an odor that would shock a Dwarf.
Panos asks, "here?"
Paramedic says, "let's go someplace quiet"
Panos is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
Rising Claw.
He is holding an axe.
(pan metrio)
Panos has 14 good karma.
Paramedic says, "So, you probably know how Fishwrap interviews go."
Panos says, "have overheard some of your interviews"
Panos says, "shoot"
Paramedic says, "There will be 5 questions."
Paramedic asks, "1) Why are you so furry?"
Panos says, "my fur is the result of my disease from the human point of
view"
Panos says, "but it is the natural state from the lyfelidae point of
view"
Paramedic asks, "how did you get this disease?"
Panos says, "I went on a hunt into the interior of KI and was bitten by
a Hunter's Lyfedae"
Paramedic asks, "Was it painful?"
Panos says, "painful, hmmmm"
Panos says, "well, falling is never pleasant"
Panos says, "but I did feel pain in my teeth and felt prickles all
over"
Panos says, "and nausea"
Paramedic says, "interesting"
Panos says, "all these feelings were quite unique"
Panos says, "of course, I have fallen and been raised many times since
being exiled"
Paramedic asks, "did you immediately become a Lyfelidae?"
Paramedic asks, "do you have to fall to contract the disease?"
Panos says, "yes one must fall _and_ be bitten to contract the disease"
Panos says, "you only become 'a beast' at sunset"
Paramedic says, "Ah, interesting"
Panos says, "and at sunrise you revert back into your normal state"
Paramedic asks, "does it weaken you any? make you stronger?"
Panos says, "Many have asked me that question"
Panos says, "I can only say that"
Panos says, "I have noticed no change"
Panos says, "of course, to really test for such a change"
Panos says, "one would have to go to the arena"
Panos says, "and run a series of tests"
Paramedic says, "ah yes..."
Panos says, "I have not done this"
Panos says, "but there is something else"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "that this change has an effect on:"
Panos says, "your clothing"
Panos says, "Upon changing forms,"
Panos says, "especially from 'normal' to 'beastly'"
Panos says, "your clothing rips and tears"
Panos says, "in the beginning I did not notice"
Paramedic asks, "It ruins your clothes?"
Panos says, "then I saw my clothing just fall off my body"
Panos says, "after a few changes, yes"
Paramedic says, "How awful. Clothes are expensive"
Panos says, "so..."
Panos says, "if one is a 'clotheshorse'"
Panos says, "it can get expensive"
(Panos laughs)
Paramedic says, "Heh."

LYFE CHANGES

Paramedic asks, "2) Do people treat you differently now that you are a
furry beast?"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "all are curious"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "some are frightened by my appearance"
Paramedic says, "some people fear what they do not understand"
Panos says, "yes it is a natural reaction"
Panos says, "some, especially the women, are attracted by my fur and
want to stroke it"
Panos says, "also the sounds I make startle people"
Panos says, "and my fleas"
Paramedic asks, "When do you make those sounds?"
Panos says, "well, I haven't timed the intervals"
Panos says, "but some of the noises I make can be very unpleasant"
Paramedic asks, "so it just happens?"
Panos says, "for example, farting"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "oh my"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "sad but true"
(Panos sobs quietly)
Panos says, "please continue"
Paramedic asks, "Has anyone threatened you?"
Panos says, "only in jest"
Paramedic says, "I see."
Panos says, "also many have practically begged me to tell them how they
also can become like me"
Paramedic asks, "Ah, so people want to become one like you?"
Panos says, "yes some"
Panos says, "but I think they are very young"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Panos says, "and don't realize the consequences"
Panos says, "there is also a vicious rumor going around"
Panos says, "that I can bite them and turn them into a beast"
Panos says, "very untrue"
Panos says, "people shouldn't shun me"
Paramedic asks, "So you cannot spread the disease yourself?"
Panos says, "no"
Panos becomes confused.

RISING CLAW

Paramedic asks, "3) What does your clan think of your transformation?"
Panos says, "ah you just saw another example"
Panos says, "of what happens to me"
Paramedic says, "confusion..."
Panos says, "I become very confused at times"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "hmmm"
Panos says, "that is a tough question to answer"
Panos says, "the few clanmembers that I see"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "have reacted with sympathy"
Paramedic says, "That's good to hear"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "unfortunately my clan members and I are on different
schedules"
Panos says, "most of them, that is"
Paramedic says, "Alas."
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "it's a shame"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "Fine people in RC"
Panos says, "nice of you to say so, thank you"
(Panos smiles)

LOOKING FORWARD WHILE BEING FURRY

Paramedic asks, "4) So what sort of future do you see for yourself as a
furry beast?"
Panos says, "Well, I would rather cure myself of this condition"
Panos says, "prefer to call it a condition"
Paramedic asks, "How can you be cured?"
Panos says, "but to do so, I need to find the ingredients for the
potion"
Paramedic asks, "Where is the potion available?"
Panos says, "and to further compound the misfortune"
Panos says, "these ingredients (catsbane, scramis egg, tuft of Lyfe
fur) can only be found in the interior of Umbrion's Island"
Althea thinks, "malkor you didn't want to come tonight??"
Panos says, "this makes it very difficult for me"
Paramedic says, "very dangerous to go there"
Althea thinks, "whoops :)"
Panos says, "yes and I am only a third level fighter"
Paramedic thinks, "Can Malkor come out and play?"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think you be getting the cure soon?"
Panos says, "have found a few who are willing to make the potion"
Panos says, "all depends on finding the ingredients (and the cost)"
Panos says, "the potion is called: luminescent"
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Panos says, "some can make it -- given the ingredients"
Panos says, "I _know_ this is possible because some with my condition
have been cured"
Paramedic asks, "So you see this condition as a temporary one?"
Panos says, "as temporary as getting the potion"
Panos says, "_if_ I must get the ingredients"
Panos says, "then it will take longer"
Panos says, "must build up my abilities"
Paramedic asks, "Are there any serious disadvantages to this condition
other than the sounds you make sometimes?"
Panos says, "none that I have percieved"
Panos says, "barring the clothing"
Panos says, "and I don't fancy fancy clothes"
(Panos smiles)
Panos says, "pardon the pun"
Paramedic says, "I see."

WAGGING TONGUES

Paramedic asks, "5) Do you think this is an evil 'brion brother plot,
or a natural phenomenon?"
Panos says, "I'm sorry but I don't really understand your question"
Panos asks, "brion brother?"
Paramedic says, "Umbrion, Tenebrion and his brothers"
Panos says, "Ah"
Panos says, "Well, I must tell you that I have not paid much mind to
all those things"
(Paramedic nods)
Panos says, "find them to be just another form of kaffeklatch"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "They seem to talk a lot"
Panos says, "well, it is the natural state for some"
Panos says, "wagging tongues
Panos says, "to me it's just babble"
Paramedic says, "I think you've really helped our readers understand
your condition."
Panos says, "I hope so"
Panos says, "because I have noticed a few more with my condition in the
land"
Paramedic says, "It does seem to be spreading, yes."
Panos says, "I would like to also take this opportunity to make a plea"
(Paramedic listens).
Panos says, "To all those who have been afflicted with this condition"
Panos says, "'Brothers and sisters, take off your cloaks! There is
nothing to be ashamed of. Life as Lyfe is good.'"
Paramedic says, "I admire that sentiment"

#####
FISHWRAP TOP 10

Top 10 things PMF stands for:

10. "People Mighty Furry!"
9.  Provide My Flounder
8.  Push Malkor Forward
7.  "Ping, My Foot!"
6.  "Paramedic Might Fall!"
5.  "Pull Monolith, Felicity"
4.  Pogue Mahone and Friends
3.  Puddleby's Mystics Fail
2.  "Push the Mystic into the Fire"
1.  Pretty Much Fishy

#####
ART CONTEST

The Garkazian Order and Sir Goric invites everyone to contribute to
the 1st "Life in Exile" Art contest. There are several categories to
choose from. Prizes include display in the Puddleby Art Museum!!

See Contest scrolls for details.

http://www.altegos.com/contest/clart2.php

Sir Goric for the Gakazian order

#####
DUN'ILSAR SCROLL UPDATE

The Dun'ilsar scrolls are (finally) back up and updated at:

http://homepage.mac.com/dunilsar

Hopefully, they will stay in one place for many moons now. For trivia's
sake, I added the contest numbers back. There have been 72 total
challenges
in the history of Dun'ilsar. Rising Claw is at the top of the mountain
forest currently.

-Fleming
Keeper of the Dun'ilsar Scrolls

#####
INTERVIEW WITH WORLDWALKER
BY JEANNE

Jeanne asks, "Why don't you tell me your story?"

(WorldWalker pulls back his hood to reveal the face of a race you have
never seen before)
WorldWalker says, "As you can see, I am not one of the usual races one
sees here in Puddleby"
WorldWalker says, "WorldWalker is actually not my name."
WorldWalker says, "It is my race."
WorldWalker says, "My true name would be unpronounceable to you."
WorldWalker says, "But since there are no others of my race here, it is
fine that people call me by my race"
WorldWalker says, "since there are none here to confuse me with"
WorldWalker says, "My true name sounds like this:"
(WorldWalker makes a noise that sounds like a cross between the song of
a whale and the chirp of a cricket)
WorldWalker says, "You see why I do not ask Puddleby's residents to
pronounce that."

Jeanne says, "I wonder how your race pronounces the word for grass."

(WorldWalker laughs.)
WorldWalker says, "It is not unlike the sound of a songbird."
WorldWalker says, "Like this:"
(WorldWalker makes a whistling sound, punctuated by clicks.)
WorldWalker says, "It means, "plant life that grows close to the
ground, covering it like a carpet"

WorldWalker says, "As for my race,"
WorldWalker says, "we are not of this plane of existance."
WorldWalker says, "Residents of Puddleby should no doubt be familiar
with the concept of other planes of existence."
WorldWalker says, "Which is why I am comfortable sharing that
information now"
WorldWalker says, "In the year I have been here, I have learned that
many exiles travel the planes"
WorldWalker says, "such as Purgatory, or the Ethereal Plane."
WorldWalker says, "But there are more planes than just these."
WorldWalker says, "There are as many planes of existence as there are
grains of sand on all of the beaches of these islands"
WorldWalker says, "It is the custom of my people to travel these
planes."
WorldWalker says, "I came to your world a number of years ago, to
observe and explore."
WorldWalker says, "I spent many months on Shan Deral, experiencing life
there."
WorldWalker says, "But when it came time for me to return to my realm
and share what I had learned with my people, I found myself trapped."
WorldWalker says, "I do not know why."
WorldWalker says, "That is why I am now going public"
WorldWalker says, "with the hopes that someone who reads Fishwrap may
have a clue as to the reason I am blocked from leaving"
WorldWalker says, "I spent years trapped on Shan Deral, trying to find
out why I could not return home"
WorldWalker says, "to no avail"
WorldWalker says, "I also tried to keep myself hidden, so the forces of
the Emperor would not discover me"
WorldWalker says, "But eventually I was exposed, and exiled here"
WorldWalker says, "So I truly am an exile among exiles"
WorldWalker says, "There are no others of my kind here"
WorldWalker says, "And though I have made many friends"
WorldWalker says, "I still wish to return home"
WorldWalker says, "That is my story, essentially."

Jeanne asks, "In your letter to me, you mentioned not picking a
profession. Why is that important?"

WorldWalker says, "Partially, it is simply because I was hoping I could
leave"
WorldWalker says, "to make a committment to a profession"
WorldWalker says, "would mean I planned on staying"
WorldWalker says, "Of course,"
WorldWalker says, "I may have no say in the matter"
WorldWalker says, "But I keep trying"
WorldWalker says, "I do not know if there are any who can help me"
WorldWalker says, "and it is possible that I may live out my remaining
years here"
WorldWalker says, "But I think it is understandable why I am attempting
to leave."

Jeanne asks, "At what point will you resign to being a permanent exile
here or will you never give up?"

WorldWalker says, "That is a difficult question to answer"
WorldWalker says, "and my answer depends on what day it is, and how I
feel that day"
WorldWalker says, "Some days I despair of ever finding a way home"
WorldWalker says, "Other days, I am determined to find a way"

Jeanne asks, "Your site doesn't have a self-portrait. Will you put one
up?"

WorldWalker says, "I am not an artist"
WorldWalker says, "But perhaps there is one in the lands who would be
interested in doing one of me."
WorldWalker says, "You can describe what you see:"
WorldWalker says, "My face is not unlike the faces of Sylvans, or
Humans, or Dwarves"
WorldWalker says, "or Halflings"
WorldWalker says, "My skin is dark, and rough, though"
WorldWalker says, "brown"
WorldWalker says, "My stature is not tall compared to some exiles"
WorldWalker says, "wearing my cloak, I can be mistaken for a Halfling
or Dwarf"
WorldWalker says, "My voice has an almost musical quality to it, when I
speak your language."
WorldWalker says, "I have 4 fingers and a thumb, as you do"
WorldWalker says, "I am completely bald"
WorldWalker says, "and my ears are simply small holes on the sides of
my head"
WorldWalker says, "My eyes are dark and large"
WorldWalker asks, "Does that description help?"

Jeanne says, "Immensely"

WorldWalker says, "When I am stronger"
WorldWalker says, "I will seek out the wizards of these islands"
WorldWalker says, "Tenebrion especially"
WorldWalker says, "and ask him about my plight"

Jeanne says, "They are tricky folks."

WorldWalker says, "true"
WorldWalker says, "But he is interested in interplanar travel"
WorldWalker says, "and perhaps has insight that will help me"
WorldWalker says, "find an answer to my dilemma"
WorldWalker asks, "why can't I leave?"
WorldWalker says, "All members of my race have the ability to walk
between worlds"
WorldWalker says, "and my people have only to reach out with their
minds"
WorldWalker says, "to part those curtains"
WorldWalker says, "and walk from one world to another"
WorldWalker says, "hence our name"
WorldWalker says, "But when I try to do that"
WorldWalker says, "it is like my mind comes up against not a curtain"
WorldWalker says, "but a stone wall"
WorldWalker says, "I cannot part it"
WorldWalker says, "the only one I can part is the one that leads to
purgatory"
WorldWalker says, "and that one only when I am fallen"
WorldWalker says, "But I cannot begin to describe the feeling I get
when I try to part the curtains in this world"
WorldWalker says, "the closest I could describe it"
WorldWalker says, "is like taking a the softest, most vulnerable part
of yourself"
WorldWalker says, "and rubbing it against a rough rock wall"
WorldWalker says, "normally, the curtains between planes are like silk"
WorldWalker says, "but not here"
WorldWalker says, "that is my dilemma"
WorldWalker says, "Normally we do not reveal ourselves to the
inhabitants of the planes we visit"
WorldWalker says, "unless we see they will understand what and who we
are"
WorldWalker says, "when we are in trouble, we simply part the curtain
and slip back into our own world"
WorldWalker says, "it is how we survive in our explorations"

WorldWalker has a scroll at

http://homepage.mac.com/worldwalker/

If you'd like to draw a picture of WorldWalker for his web site, please
contact him at:

WorldWalker@...

or his Puddleby box at 1900. Also, contact WorldWalker if you have any
information on how he can find his way home again.

#####
NEW DISCUSSION FORUM AND SURVEY

This group is for the purpose of tracking Ethereal fluctuations on the
island of Puddleby and the Lok'Grotton Islands in general.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/PESC.html

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH KATPUS
BY KORIC

The following is an edited transcript of a conversation between several
exiles and the catapult builder, Katpus, who is now making a home in
the safe cave outside of the northeastern foothills. This conversation
occured 8 Winter 541 [10 Nov 2001]. More details about the Foothills
expedition are in my journal, including sketches and links, at http://
dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html.

I have set apart with a line break and *** the comments made by Katpus
and organized his responses in a more logical manner for easier
understanding. Apologies to exiles whose comments were edited out. I
tried to boil this down to the essentials, leaving out nothing said by
Katpus while omitting several repeated questions and comments by
exiles. I also tried to preserve the gist of exile reaction to some of
Katpus' more interesting news.

To read the transcript of this conversation, please access this scroll:

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/katpus2.html

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH UMBRION
AS RECORDED BY NORM

Perkusi asks, "where's your brother, Umbrion?"
Umbrion says, "I was going to ask you the same thing."
Norm says, "he's missing"
Kodo says, "Congrats on the ledger, Norm"
Trowa says, "heh"
Norm says, "thanks Kodo"
Perkusi asks, "missing? how long?"
Perkusi asks, "How long's he been gone, Umbrion?"
Asmodean says, "heh"
Norm says, "he was making fun of me"
Perkusi says, "try the conference room"
Kodo asks, "Do you not know where your brother has gone?"
Tater says, "aw"
Norm ponders, "my feelings are hurt"
Tater says, "aw"
Perkusi says, "awww"
Trowa asks, "heh that's yer power, Umbrion?"
Perkusi ponders, "hope he doesn't burn the place down!"
Natas says, "yo"
Perkusi says, "Trowa, any dolt can make a fire, silly."
Umbrion asks, "Trowa, want a cracker?"
Trowa says, "Perkusi, you didn't see his confrence room, he likes
things hot, heh"
(Tater stands back)
Trowa asks, "go any brownies?"
Trowa asks, "got any brownies?"
Perkusi says, "yeah, but this place doesn't have the fire protection
that one does, I bet"
Trowa says, "True, his was stone floor"
Perkusi asks, "so Umbrion.... how long's Teeny... I mean Tenebrion been
missing?"
Umbrion asks, "Who says he is missing?"
Perkusi says, "Norm said it."
(Umbrion looks at Norm.)
Trowa says, "make him come out then"
Norm says, "you said you were looking for him"
Norm says, "I haven't seen him"
Norm says, "and I was lying there a while"
Trowa says, "I prolly went to Lugu's isle or something"
Umbrion says, "I can no more make my brother appear than I can make you
say anything intelligent, Trowa."
(Azael laughs)
(Perkusi covers her mouth and snickers.)
Trowa says, "well look who's tlking"
Perkusi asks, "well... so why are you looking for him?"
Tater asks, "Why are you looking for him, Umbrion?"
Trowa ponders, "dang spelling"
Umbrion says, "He missed an appointment, if you must know."
Norm asks, "can't you just sunstone him?"
Trowa says, "heh"
Trowa asks, "you his dentist?"
Tater asks, "An appointment for what?"
Umbrion says, "He must have left his sunstone in his other dashing
black suit."
Norm asks, "no answer when you try, huh?"
Trowa ponders, "lol"
Azael ponders, "hmmm"
Norm says, "perhaps he's deep in his studies in his library"
Umbrion says, "I'm sure he is simply engrossed in some experiment or
other."
Perkusi asks, "tried talking to your other brothers to see if he's
visiting yet?"
Norm asks, "he does have a library, doesn't he?"
Umbrion says, "We have many books. Many libraries."
Tater says, "I've never seen yours."
Perkusi says, "um... I've seen it. Aldernon was there."
Natas says, "ive seen Umbrion's but never Tenebrion's"
Perkusi ponders, "good thing we got him home. Creepy."
Tater says, "I wasn't able to go help rescue him."
Umbrion asks, "How is my friend, the sylvan?"
Perkusi exclaims, "He's just fine. Happy and all that!"
(Umbrion looks dubious.)
Perkusi says, "has to keep warm a lot, though."
Trowa says, "*cough* Perkusi, up Aldernon's dosage"
(Perkusi glares at Trowa)
Trowa says, "I was joking"
Umbrion asks, "Have any of you brought me a stone stolen from the
orga?"
Perkusi says, "nope, sorry. I haven't ever had my hands on one of
them."
Norm says, "I'm afraid we're all out"
Norm says, "need a mystic to get them"
Trowa says, "yah"
Tater asks, "I don't think our last raid was successful, was it?"
Perkusi asks, "why would we want to give you one again?"
Norm says, "I heard it wasn't"
Tater says, "And I'm not sure it was intended for you, either."
Asmodean ponders, "I thought the deal for the strange stone was with
Tenebrion.."
Umbrion says, "Because it is in everyone's best interest, Perkusi."
Tater says, "We have other uses for them as well."
Perkusi asks, "really? explain how that is?"
Umbrion says, "do you, Tater? Please explain."
Perkusi asks, "I mean, I'm just a Zo, so go slow, small words and such.
How would that be in my best interest?"
Tater says, "I don't know a lot, but we may be able to teleport groups
with them."
Tater says, "That sounds useful to us."
Tater says, "Well, to me, anyway."
Perkusi asks, "well, sounds pretty useful yeah. Thing is, is this
something you brothers should have in your hands?"
Umbrion says, "And we offer interplanar travel without risk to the
ethereal boundaries."
Norm says, "speaking of etheral boundaries..."
Natas asks, "how many stones have you received so far?"
Azael ponders, "they solved the ether leaking problem?"
(Umbrion looks sadly at the dying flames.)
Norm says, "what's up with those amulets"
Norm says, "they seem to give wildly different readings all the time"
Trowa says, "I got 2 wood, Umbrion"
Tater says, "They're kind of flimsy too."
Natas asks, "and how many more stones do you expect in order to open
the portal?"
Umbrion asks, "Don't you need that wood to keep your ears apart,
Trowa?"
(Asmodean snickers)
Norm ponders, "nyuck nyuck"
Trowa says, "heh no I was gonna donate it when I got to Puddleby"
Asmodean ponders, "to science?"
Tater thinks to you, "ok, that was funny."
Perkusi says, "so anyway, enough about Trowa's wood.... *cough*"
(Azael chuckles.)
Umbrion says, "Six stones, Natas."
Perkusi asks, "you need six, or you've gotten six?"
Umbrion says, "We require six."
Natas says, "heh what Perkusi said"
Tater asks, "How many have you received?"
Perkusi asks, "Six more. how many do you have now?"
Natas asks, "and you have received none?"
Umbrion says, "To my knowledge, none."
Trowa says, "I thought we gave Tenebrion a ton"
Perkusi asks, "hm. How do you know how many you need? books tell you
that?"
Natas ponders, "I remember when it was supposed to be 50"
Asmodean says, "strange stones not ore"
Norm says, "it was a compromise, Perkusi"
Norm says, "they wanted more at first"
Umbrion says, "Experimentation and experience, Perkusi. And intuition."
Norm says, "these are the FMOCR stones, from the power room"
Perkusi says, "alrighty"
(Perkusi nods)
Norm ponders, "sometimes called the "powder room""
Perkusi says, "well, I'm just wondering what you'll use em for"
(Umbrion blows on his hands.)
Umbrion says, "And I have told you."
Asmodean ponders, "interplanar teleportation?"
Perkusi says, "oh, sorry. Haven't told me. I don't get to read much
these days. Two kids and all that."
Norm ponders, "three if you count Kodo"
(Trowa laughs)
Perkusi exclaims, "I figger someone's written about it somewhere, but
finding time to hunt that down is not easy!"
Natas says, "from what i understand he will open a 2 way portal to the
etheral plane"
Perkusi says, "I see"
Umbrion says, "Natas is correct."
Perkusi exclaims, "and we just have to take his word on that?!"
Trowa says, "those slugs are great experience"
Perkusi asks, "what sign of good faith did we get, if any?"
Tater says, "I wonder if this will be a permanent portal, or he'll
continuously require stones from us."
Asmodean asks, "denizens of the Ethereal Plane will be able to freely
enter Puddleby?"
Perkusi says, "I mean, sorry Umbrion, but I'm not really used to
dealing with folks who stand behind large barriers to talk to me."
Umbrion asks, "When have I -- or my brothers -- failed to meet our end
of a bargain?"
(Trowa shrugs)
Perkusi says, "beats me. Most of your bargains aren't talked about
generally in town."
Umbrion exclaims, "Good faith, indeed!"
Norm asks, "are you getting any good readings from the ethereal
amulets, umbrion?"
Trowa says, "Uumbrion, are you the reason why albino mahas are so rare?
all your scholars and empty bodies have them"
Umbrion says, "I was under the impression that some of your people were
undertaking that task."
(Tater nods)
Norm asks, "yeah, have you seen the results?"
Perkusi says, "I think there are people using them to take readings."
Norm says, "yep"
Umbrion says, "I have been shown a few books of notes."
Perkusi says, "dunno what they're doing with them though."
Norm says, "they are highly variable readings"
Norm says, "they are making a map, but it's slow work"
Perkusi asks, "oh yeah, something weird around noids, right?"
Umbrion says, "Fluctuation is natural, Norm. It is the areas of extreme
highs and lows that are of interest."
Tater says, "Neige was even taking readings in the Foothills."
(Umbrion shivers a little.)
Tater asks, "Do you require readings from that far away?"
Perkusi says, "ah, okie. I'll try to make sure to tell Babajaga that,
Umbrion. She's got a nice place for us to read about stuff, I think."
Norm asks, "so an occasional high reading is of no interest, but a lot
of extreme readings indicates something going on?"
Umbrion says, "If the reader is skilled, Norm."
Norm says, "there are a few skilled mystics now"
Umbrion says, "Tater, distance is not always a meaningful notion."
(Asmodean chuckles)
(Perkusi waves her cad in Asmodean's direction)
Perkusi asks, "so is ether leaking out too much? Is that the problem?"
Norm asks, "once we identify extreme ether locations, what happens
then?"
Perkusi asks, "better yet, is there a problem to speak of at all?"
Norm asks, "plug the holes with ducktape?"
Umbrion says, "We will study the results, and learn the extent of the
damage you have caused, Norm."
Tater ponders, "Ducktape fixes anything!"
Norm ponders, "quack!"
Perkusi asks, "how have we caused damage?"
Tater asks, "Us?"
Norm says, "er, the 'brions say all our departing from ep caused the
problem"
Trowa ponders, "metal ducktape fixes ether up good!"
Umbrion says, "By travelling between the planes in an -- ungainly --
manner."
Perkusi says, "can you explain how that manner is "ungainly?""
Norm ponders, "note to self: depart gracefully next time"
Tater says, "I know you say that, but we didn't have problems till you
guys showed up on the scene."
Perkusi says, "I mean, it's always been something we do when we lose
hope."
(Azael chuckles.)
(Trowa chuckles.)
Umbrion says, "You have chopped through walls, rather than find a door
you could pass through."
Norm says, "that's the idea behind the portal, to be a nice safe door"
Umbrion says, "We "showed up" because of the problems you caused."
Perkusi says, "hm... Tater has a point, Umbrion. Wasn't a problem until
we were able to see Tenebrion's place here."
Umbrion asks, "And what does that tell you, Perkusi?"
Tater says, "Then all of a sudden, I'm falling to ether clouds in town
center."
Perkusi asks, "now wait a minute. are you saying all of those departing
times were a problem?"
Norm says, "we couldn't get to the Ethereal Plane until we met
Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "If it was done from the ether, Perkusi."
Trowa ponders, "Soulmaster did most of it with his 567 departs then"
Norm asks, "so is damage done to the ether any time we depart, even if
not from ep?"
Perkusi asks, "were we able to get to the Ethereal Plane before we
found Tenebrion's little basement of goodies?"
Umbrion says, "That I do not know, Norm."
Natas says, "if that's the case I've done a big chunk of damage"
Norm says, "we departed quite a bit without seeing ether clouds"
Trowa says, "me too"
Norm says, "back before the war and all"
Norm says, "i still think you have a chicken and egg problem there
umbrion"
Azael ponders, "Even after the war."
Umbrion says, "My conference room is so much cozier than this."
Perkusi says, "your conference room requires a bit more than a few
exiles to reach."
Trowa ponders, "and all the Agratis people depart tons of times - can't
be good if that's the case"
Natas says, "let's set fire to it so Umbrion can fell more at home"
Trowa asks, "anyone other then Umbrion got a tinder box?"
Umbrion says, "Tempting, Natas. But I fear my brother would object."
Natas asks, "ya think?"
Perkusi says, "you could just burn the desk."
(Norm twirls his axe.)
Umbrion says, "You're a quiet group. Such a nice change."
(Perkusi grins.)
Perkusi says, "I imagine so."
(Tater thinks)
Norm says, "I still want to know what is going to happen once you
identify an ether hotspot"
Perkusi says, "I really just wanna know what the deal with the ether
is, and why we should be worried about it."
Tater ponders, "that's a good question!"
(Trowa starts to yell but pauses remeber Umbrion's flame which didn't
even get him to green)
Umbrion asks, "Perkusi, would you worry about a tiny leak in a dike?"
Perkusi says, "guess I would."
Trowa ponders, "yes"
Norm says, "the worry is all ether clouds all the time"
Tater says, "Because if you don't stick your finger in it, it gets
bigger and bigger."
Umbrion says, "This is little different"
Natas says, "there is no point in worrying"
Perkusi asks, "thing is, what is the ether, really? What is going to
happen if it leaks out?"
Natas says, "either do something 'bout it or not"
Asmodean shows his small crystal shard to everyone.
Umbrion says, "If it pours forth, full force, into this plane, the
devastation would be absolute."
Perkusi says, "um..."
Tater asks, "What do you think it would be like?"
(Azael hums.)
Tater asks, "Millions of those clouds?"
Norm says, "all ether clouds all the time"
Trowa says, "sorta like a big worldwide flood, only it radioactive"
Umbrion says, "My brother is the expert on what death is like, Tater."
Tater says, "oh..."
Azriel says, "G'day sir"
Tater ponders, "death"
Tater says, "Hi Azriel."
(Umbrion nods to Azriel.)
Perkusi says, "Hi Az"
Natas says, "yo"
(Azael waves to Perkusi)
Perkusi says, "not you Az, the other Az! :P"
Trowa ponders, "expert eh? well, let's see"
Azael ponders, "Oh hmm"
Norm says, "Well, thanks for the rescue everybody"
Umbrion says, "Well, I think I shall be going..."
Azriel says, "I seem to feel your brother Tenebrion's attention upon me
this day"
Trowa ponders, "the only way is if Umbrion killed him"
Tater says, "I need to as well."
Norm says, "bye Umbrion"
Azael ponders, "One too much Az here"
Umbrion says, "But you've all been so courteous today..."
Perkusi asks, "so why is the ether under your domain?"
Norm says, "hard to believe, polite exiles"
Natas says, "even Trowa"
Asmodean says, "take care, Um"
(Trowa chuckles)
Umbrion asks, "Would one of you like an amulet?"
Natas exclaims, "me me me!"
Trowa says, "me"
Asmodean says, "hehe"
Norm asks, "with cheese?"
(Tater giggles)
Perkusi says, "I have a mystic friend in my clan who might like it"
Trowa says, "give it to Perkusi"
Norm says, "I like western amulets with cheese"
Asmodean says, "lol"
Perkusi says, "He might be able to do something useful with it."
Umbrion says, "Decide amongst yourselves. Otherwise, Natas asked
first."
Norm says, "I think you need a mystic to run it, natas"
Natas says, "no that's ok Perkusi can have it"
Trowa says, "all for Perkusi say aye""
Tater says, "Yes, sure."
Norm says, "ok, Perkusi it is"
Azriel asks, "why, they ruin them as fast as any of us wuld?"
Trowa says, "aye"
Asmodean asks, "do you need to have a keen mind to use an amulet?"
Umbrion says, "Of course, if you had something of real value, I might
part with this..."
Umbrion shows his ethereal portal stone to everyone.
Norm exclaims, "heh!"
Trowa exclaims, "I got wheat!"
Perkusi says, "I have a few instrument parts, that's about it."
Natas shows his powdery white rock to everyone.
Trowa says, "umm an orga eye, ss, ore"
Norm says, "you need a trained mystic to use the amulet"
Azriel says, "I have brambleberries"
Azriel says, "heh"
Trowa says, "wood"
Asmodean says, "ah"
Trowa says, "candy"
Natas shows his orga drum to Umbrion.
Asmodean asks, "'Full' Mystic?"
Kodo thinks, "town it is"
Tater says, "I have an Uli flower."
Umbrion says, "I guess all you get is an amulet..."
Perkusi says, "but really, I'd rather just give the amulet to someone
who can use it."
Norm says, "I'm not sure"
Natas ponders, "I have nothin' he wants"
Umbrion says, "then do so, Perkusi."
Perkusi says, "alrighty"
Tater says, "They kinda help with those closer to death when combined
with a spore ;)"
Trowa exclaims, "we'll trade Norm for the stone!"
Norm says, "but they need to be trained by that person in Umbrion's
keep"
Asmodean says, "ah"
Norm says, "hey, I'm not worth that much"
Umbrion says, "approach"
Trowa says, "bah"
Trowa says, "Tater's lighter"
Norm says, "Tater is much more valuable"
Tater says, "Go away from me."
(Perkusi nods.)
Perkusi says, "Alright."
Umbrion says, "Good day."
Perkusi ponders, "weird......"
Trowa says, "hehe"
(Asmodean waves)
Norm says, "well, that was interesting"
Tater says, "I should go help Cyber."
Azriel asks, "who left the back door open?"
Perkusi says, "time to get to the library and write some stuff down"
Perkusi says, "Cyber's in town and up"
Umbrion is no longer Clanning.

#####
ROVING REPORTER
BY HELLPOP

I came out of the library on what I expected to be a slow evening just
around midnight on Merdi the 29th summer, when I was greeted by the
sight of exiles dancing and chanting in the middle of town. Merlisk and
Wangah Rah were performing some kind of ritual and screaming for
Wendies to be brought to town. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rock whizzed
by my head just missing me, but felling a poor exile to my right.

Five Angry Mother Sasquatches ran through town bashing exiles with
their maternal fists and heaving rocks at those who tried to run away.
The carnage was incredible. In a few brief seconds almost all of the
town was lying at the mercy of these Angry Mothers. I spent most of the
time fallen in the temple with quite a few other exiles as a hasty
battle was fought. The Angry Mothers were dispatched after much hoo-haa
and I took the short breather from the excitement to talk to the two
summoners about their mojo in town.

Hellpop asks, "So guys.... what happened?"
(Wangah Rah looks to Merlisk)
Merlisk says, "Well..."
(Koric listens.)
(Merlisk looks down in shame)
Wangah Rah hides his magic stick)
Merlisk says, "I was, uh, bored"
(Koric is looking for a brief summary for his journal.)
Wangah Rah says, "Me too"
Merlisk says, "So, I asked Wangah Rah to help me with a spell"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "A little spell!"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk says, "First, I wanted Darshak"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "They came!"
Merlisk says, "but others convinced me that wendies had more fur"
Hellpop asks, "The Darshak came first?"
Merlisk says, "So, I, uh, we, uh...cast it"
Merlisk says, "aye...2 Darshak"
Wangah Rah says, "Nothing happened the first time though"
(Hellpop nods)
Merlisk says, "Usin' Breeze's hair"
Wangah Rah says, "Until you realized we needed a virgin"
(Merlisk nods)
Koric asks, "How did you gain the ability to cast this spell?"
Merlisk says, "Well, ... I rather not say"
Koric asks, "What gave you the idea you could even pull off such a
summoning?"
Hellpop asks, "And what made you realize you needed a virgin?"
(Wangah Rah looks uncomfortable)
Merlisk says, "Again, I rather not say"
Koric says, "oooooookay"
Merlisk exclaims, "I don't want this to ever happen again!"
(Wangah Rah nods)
Wangah Rah asks, "But after the Darshak, whose hair did we use?"
Merlisk says, "So, anyway..."
Merlisk says, "Audyo's I think"
Koric says, "Ok, well, I guess that's about all I can use then."
Wangah Rah says, "Yeah...we got a feral"
Merlisk says, "But, well, he didn't turn out to be a virgin either"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Liars mess up our spells"
Hellpop asks, "I thought it was Tarfette?"
Merlisk says, "So, Tarfette volunteered her hair"
Hellpop says, "I see."
(Wangah Rah grimaces)
Merlisk exclaims, "she said she was!"
(Merlisk hangs his head in shame)
Wangah Rah says, "She said just caused she didn't look like one...."
Merlisk says, "So, I used it"
Merlisk exclaims, "and...5 Angry Mother Sasquatches showed up!"
(Merlisk weeps)
Wangah Rah exclaims, "We didn't mean for Angry Mother Sasquatch!"
Koric says, "Some kinda spell required a virgin's hair, you used
Tarfette's, tried to summon Wendies..."
Koric asks, "And then 5 Angry Mother Sasquatches showed up?"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "It was supposed to be wendies!"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk exclaims, "aye!"
Hellpop says, "So there was the virgin hair and I saw some dancing"
Merlisk exclaims, "Wendies!"
Merlisk says, "Chantin', dancin', and boostin'"
Wangah Rah says, "Then we burned the hair with herbs"
Koric says, "Gotta sleep now, though."
(Koric smiles and waves.)
Merlisk says, "ssh, Wangah Rah"
(Wangah Rah waves)
(Merlisk gasps!)
Merlisk exclaims, "ssh, Wangah Rah!"
Merlisk says, "Don't put that in, Hellpop"
Hellpop says, "Oh, of course not."
Wangah Rah exclaims, "I mean we pretended too!"
Hellpop says, "heh"
Wangah Rah asks, "Is this being recorded?"
Merlisk says, "yeah, that's it"
(Wangah Rah checks Hellpop over)
Hellpop asks, "So the dancing was the mojo that tipped it over?"
Wangah Rah says, "Hmm"
Merlisk says, "Hmmm..."
Merlisk says, "He looks clean"
Wangah Rah says, "OK"
Wangah Rah says, "We'll continue talking."
Merlisk says, "Aye, the dancin' did it"
Wangah Rah says, "It was like this"
Merlisk says, "And, well, maybe the prayer to Gaia"
(Wangah Rah chants and dances)
Hellpop says, "Ohhhhh..."
Hellpop says, "most impressive"
(Merlisk won't do his)
Wangah Rah says, "Merlisk's is secret"
Merlisk exclaims, "Enough trouble has been caused!"
Hellpop asks, "So what are your feelings about this show of power?"
Merlisk says, "Shame"
Wangah Rah says, "I'm just his lackey"
Wangah Rah says, "Yeah, I feel really bad"
(Merlisk puts his face in his hands)
Merlisk exclaims, "I'll never, ever do it again!"
(Merlisk promises)
(Wangah Rah cries)
(Hellpop pats Merlisk on the back)
(Merlisk sees Wangah Rah and starts to weep too)
(Merlisk sniffs)
Merlisk says, "thanks"
Hellpop says, "There, there..."
(Wangah Rah sniffs)
Hellpop asks, "So... Is this the first time you have tried a
summoning?"
Wangah Rah says, "My first time."
Wangah Rah says, "Well, I watched someone once."
Hellpop asks, "Who was that?"
Wangah Rah asks, "So I guess that makes me an expert, right?"
Merlisk says, "Well, I'm afraid it's my second"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "Shh I can't tell!"
Hellpop asks, "Really?"
Hellpop asks, "What did you summon before Merlisk?"
(Merlisk considers)
Merlisk says, "Well, not much"
Merlisk says, "I just got smoke and a few flames"
(Hellpop nods)
Merlisk ponders, "Auntie would be proud of me!"
(Wangah Rah grins)
Wangah Rah says, "Oh"
Hellpop asks, "So this is the end of the Merlisk/Wangah mojo?"
Merlisk exclaims, "aye!"
Merlisk exclaims, "no more!"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "Ever!"
(Merlisk promises)
Wangah Rah ponders, "Well, maybe once more"
Merlisk ponders, "until next week"
Hellpop says, "Ok."
Wangah Rah ponders, "2 times next week"
Hellpop says, "Thanks very much for the Fishwrap interview"
(Merlisk looks sincere)
Merlisk says, "thank you"
(Wangah Rah cries again)
Hellpop asks, "Anything you want to say to the readers?"
Merlisk says, "Please tell everyone that we're very, very sorry"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "I'd like to say, share your local mystic!"
Hellpop says, "After this they just might."
Merlisk says, "And we promise no more monkey business"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "No more monkey business!"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Perhaps...kittie business?"
Merlisk exclaims, "No more monkey business!"
Hellpop says, "Thanks."
Merlisk says, "thank you"
Wangah Rah says, "Tanki"
(Merlisk waves)

#####
PUDDLEBY UNDERGROUND MAPPED

Just to let you know:

I have mapped the (ever-expanding) Puddleby Underground.

The maps can be found at:

http://homepage.mac.com/worldwalker/underground.html

-WorldWalker

#####
REPORTS ON THE NOX SORORA CHAPTERHOUSE FIRE

1) From MrFancyPants, as dictated by Jo Ma'ril.

Paramedic,

Here's my account of the events surrounding the burning of the Nox
Sorora Chapterhouse.

Awhile back, I found a odd, crumbly black rock on Devil's Island. After
finding it, I went to town and showed it around, to see if anyone knew
what to do with it. I was approached by a member of clan Hunter, who
told me that their clan was gathering the stones, in the hopes of
finding what they do. I agreed to help with their research, but not to
give them my stone, as I didn't want them to make any decisions that
might harm anyone.

Time went by, we tried many different things with the stones, but
nothing seemed to have any affect. We were approached by a woman named
Agrath, and a woman named Lacrima about the stones. They both claimed
the rocks could be used in an enchantment to stop a great evil. Since I
generally dislike evil, this sounded like something I'd be interested
in! Agrath seemed more...friendly, though, and so I agreed to meet with
her at a later date.

Several members of Hunter, I, and various others who were nearby
gathered in Bumgal's hut to hear what these stones could do. Agrath
claimed the stones had the power to weaken the followers of the Night,
in particular the Nox Sorora. Moreover, she claimed that the stones had
no other purpose than this. I, however, didn't think this was true - I
thought there might be another use for them, and wanted to do more
research. However, she did make me suspicious about the Nox Sorora. Why
did they need a chapterhouse in town? It made me wonder...Agrath said
she didn't know how to use the stones herself, but she had a friend who
did, and would take him to us. Upon further questioning, it was
revealed that we didn't actually have to use the enchantment against
the Nox. After the enchantment was made, it would be given to us, and
the final decision on wether to use it or not would come from us.
Because of this I felt that I would be able to discover the uses of the
stones, and not harm anyone unless they deserved it. But did the Nox
deserve to lose their chapterhouse? I had to find out on my own.

So a few days later, I questioned some friends of mine who are in the
Nox, about their chapterhouse, their beliefs, etc. Much to my chagrin,
they were very secretive about the affair, and I felt they were hiding
something important from me. Because of this, I agreed to go along with
Hunter and Agrath and use the stones, but not to use the enchantment
without careful thought.

A few days ago, the scheduled meeting took place. A small escort of
mostly Hunter followed Agrath to Ash Island. We entered the campfire,
and slipped through a hidden passage into a section of the outpost we
had never seen before. Agrath told the escort to wait outside, while
D'Noma, Rel'lim and I entered a hut where the fellow we were meeting
was waiting.

To our shock, he was a Darshak priest! Rel'lim and I almost struck him
down on the spot, but D'Noma and Agrath stopped us before we acted
rashly. There was much debate, we weren't sure wether to trust the
Darshak or not. However, we felt that nothing potentially bad would
happen unless we used the enchantment against the Nox. In fact, the
Darshak fellow seemed nervous when I asked him if the enchantment could
be used against the Darshak. I sensed a great opportunity to strike at
the Darshak here, and decided to hand over my stones, as did Rel'lim.

The Darshak fellow performed some Alchemy, and handed D'Noma a flask.
He said to pull the string and run near the chapterhouse, and it would
do its job. We headed back to town and started discussing whether or
not to use it. At this point I decided it was time to hear the Nox's
view as well, and I strolled over to their chapterhouse, sat down, and
asked them some questions.

In the midst of my asking, Polgara, whom I haven't seen since long
before the Ripture War, ran up out of nowhere and dropped a flask just
like ours next to the chapterhouse and ran. It promptly exploded and
the chapterhouse burned to the ground, while Nox members threw
themselves upon it trying to put out the flames. Rel'lim came running
as soon as he heard the news, and showed me the Flask was indeed still
in his hands, he had not used it nor given it to Polgara. This leads me
to one of two conclusions: either Agrath had a deal with another party
(Polgara's party), or there was enough mixture left after our flask was
made for a second flask, and Agrath gave that to Polgara.

It seems the Darshak tricked me, and I am very sorry for the sorrow it
has caused. My intentions were not to harm your chapterhouse, as you
can see, but only to find a weapon that could be used against
Puddleby's enemies.

-MrFancyPants, as dictated by Jo Ma'ril.

2) From Arod of Clan Hunter:

Hunter Clan and the Nox Chapterhouse's Destruction

Some months ago Clan Hunter was approached by an exile who warned of
dire things that would happen if the Nox Chapterhouse was completed.
Over the last several months some members of Hunter have worked hard on
a project suggested by this stranger. Just the other day, the Nox
Chapterhouse under construction in the northeast corner of Puddleby was
destroyed at the very moment we Hunters discussed whether to do that
very thing.

I speak here for myself, and my views may not concur with those of my
clanmates.

First, I will always fight against the dark powers that are behind the
foul undine, the walking dead and the spirits of the dead given form
that have troubled us and the Empire back home for years beyond number.
Unfortunately, Nox Sorora dabbles with these powers: I therefore stand
against them. It is also true that many in Nox know little or nothing
of the Nox's involvement with these dark powers, and to these fine
folks I say: think carefully of what your fellow Sororans do when it
comes to the undine, an implacable enemy of the living. If you do not
agree that the undine are evil and must be fought with all our
strength, then you will naturally not agree with anything else I say.
So be it. Please note I have taken the time to learn what the Nox say
about themselves, and I trust the evidence of my own eyes as well.

Second, when the stranger approached us, we Hunters were extremely
skeptical. We viewed the claims the stranger made with suspicion, and
pursued the quest offered by the stranger with a great deal of caution.
On a recent night [10/11/01], the quest was completed, and the stranger
bid us to take the next step. This we did; I for one freely admit it,
for as I have mentioned I stand firmly against the dark powers that are
involved with the undine.

Third, it became clear to me (and this is a matter of conjecture) that
as the plan came together, and no trickery was revealed, that we indeed
had a weapon that would destroy the chapterhouse. It became equally
clear that the Darshak Sage who made this weapon wanted the
chapterhouse destroyed for his and the Darshak's own reasons, and that
we were being recruited to aid them. As the enemy of one's enemy is not
always your friend, I was willing to consider this blow against the
dark powers I saw gathering within our town's very walls. Better to
help an enemy a little by helping it eliminate a rival dark power in
our midst than allowing the growth of dark powers within our town, went
my thinking.

Fourth, once we had this weapon, we were urged forward by the stranger,
but Hunter took the time to really examine the question. Though all had
seemed on the "up and up" so far, there was no telling what this weapon
would really do, once used. Naturally, we gave careful thought to the
question of whether it was proper for Hunter to take unilateral action
in this matter. Not all Hunters see the darker side of the Nox in the
same light I do, for example, while others worried how such an action
might rebound upon our entire clan.

Fifth, while we discussed this question, someone else destroyed the
chapterhouse, using, we imagine, a weapon much like the one we still
hold. When some of us emerged from our discussion to view the ruins,
some began to say we Hunters were responsible. Although I was for
destroying the house, and some Hunters agreed with me, _we Hunters did
not do this thing_. Others argue that by going to the Darshak to have
the weapon made we enabled another to be made secretly, and it was this
second weapon that was used. This is unlikely, since Oak'm's beard
trimmer suggests that, simply enough, someone else completed the
necessary quest to gain such a weapon...and then used it.

Sixth, after the chapterhouse was destroyed and Hunter was
(incorrectly) linked to the act, a number of exiles made shrill, hasty
statements about having Hunter banned from dunilsar, being
excommunicated from something called Makros, and so on. I hope that in
the warm light of day these suggestions will be given more thought.
Hate me, if you will, for my views, but Hunter gave special and
painstaking attention to the question of using the weapon--so much
attention that in the end the question became moot.

Seventh, we have opened a very interesting chapter in Puddleby
politics. It will be interesting to see where all this takes us. No
matter what happens, you can rely on Lord Arod of Hunter to tell you
how it is (or keep his mouth shut). If you'd like to complain to me
directly, I have a post office box in Puddleby.

--Lord Arod, a Founder of Hunter and betrothed to the Lady D'Noma
Thornapple

3) By Shepherd

My friends, I am almost at a loss for words. The Nox Sorora
chapterhouse has been destroyed, and Lacrima is dead. I will try to
recount the horrible events as best as I can recall them.

I left the library that fateful day at the urgent callings of my
Priestess and my Brothers and Sisters. They seemed to be fearful that
the chapterhouse was in danger. There had been rumors circulating about
some colored stones, but I had paid them no heed. Even my clanmate
Forey warned me of a danger to our sanctuary. My Goddess, I did not
listen! I was so foolish!

Many, many members of the Sisterhood were gathered about the
chapterhouse. You can see most of them in my sketches. We did not know
the nature of the danger, as the word was that clan Hunter had the
means to cast a ward against us upon our chapterhouse. If only that
were the extent of the danger! We gathered about it, attempting to
protect it from any attack. Lacrima was skulking about, but I knew
trouble was brewing because the Matre was also there. Those two have
never met, and both are very powerful. As you can see, the Matre was
cloaked in darkness, due to some sort of rite of protection that she
had cast in the days before the attack. The other Sisters - Indigo,
Anaeka, Luna - were casting various incantations to protect those in
their circles.

The Gens Dea Drenn was there, looking very ill. So was Urgelt, who was
urging peace and empathy. Lacrima's weakness, he said, was that she
could feel no empathy, and thus could not anticipate the actions of her
opponents. I believe him, for I know that Lacrima is a creature devoid
of feeling. Yet, deep inside her, there is an innocence...

I know Lacrima was involved in this terrible destruction because she
paid Crius to request the stones that made the incendiary. Babajaga
seems to indicate that the Darshak are involved, as well... she says
that a Darshak Sage was consulted to convert the stones into the Ward.
There is also a woman, Agrath, who is quite hateful to my Sisterhood...
and clan Hunter.

When I arrived on this scene, as I understood, clan Hunter was debating
what to do with the Ward, while Lacrima came to taunt us. She quickly
left, however, fearful for her life... had she been wiser, she would
have remained away.

At this point, I lost consciousness briefly, and when I awoke, I forgot
to continue making sketches of what I saw. I will fill in the rest of
the story in more detail when I obtain detail from others who were
there.

Clan Hunter arrived to ask us some questions about the chapterhouse.
They were fearful, it seemed, that it would be used to unleash an army
of undine against the town. The Matre assured them that the
chapterhouse would only be used to glorify Her presence, and that it
would be a place of study and reflection. I believe her wording was,
"It will be used to bring the blessing of Night to Puddleby". Hunter,
represented by Lord Arod, was doubtful of the benevolent protection
that Mother Night offers to this town, thus their quest to obtain means
to destroy our chapterhouse.

While they debated, a long-lost exile named Polgara arrived with a
flask similar to the one Hunter obtained! Despite our ring around the
chapterhouse, she cast it at its base, and next I knew, there was fire
all around! Oh, it was horrible, the screams of burning exiles, and our
years of effort going up in flames like so many of the Sisters who have
been persecuted on the mainland! Never have I seen such a blast, not
from Orga Warlocks, not from Fire Walkers, not even from Umbrion. I do
not recall much from this period, as all was fire and smoke as I tried
to heal my comrades and pull the wounded from the inferno. Truly it was
the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed, far more tragic than the
death of my father at the hands of my home village.

The Matre was enraged! She drew the Nox Calamus and charged at Lacrima,
who had come to gloat and perhaps stick her dagger into those who might
have survived the blaze. But Lacrima had a blade, too, one I had not
heard of- but it was evident that these two blades were like Night and
Day. Whenever they clashed, the air crackled, and it was if the world
was shaking. Lacrima's blows against the Matre seemed to bounce off a
dark cloak, which I presume was Agate, Handmaiden of Night, whose
protection Matre Naamah had called for in her earlier Rite.

Seeing that her blade was ineffective, Lacrima began to attack Naamah's
mind, but reeled when she encountered the Matre's iron will. You see,
Lacrima has been harassing our Sisterhood for many years now, and has
the ability to cause great pain and injury to the Sisters. But she had
never encountered the Matre, and I suspect that she anticipated the
same abilities and strengths as a Sister. But the Matre is a mystery -
she has no Gens, and what I've read of the Nox Sorora canon seems to
indicate that she was conceived without Leviathan's taint, which means
that she is the daughter of a Matre and none other. While I've always
received guidance and wisdom from our chapter's leader, she is cold...
they say that as a Priestess advances in Her glory, more and more of
her mind is the pure manifestation of Night and less the individual
whose body is the vessel of Her will. I cannot imagine the holiness of
the Honored Matre, who exists far away yet seems to communicate with
Naamah somehow.

Thus the Matre's might and power overcame the Bringer of Tears. I think
Lacrima was stunned by the power she encountered in Naamah's mind, and
that allowed an opening for the Nox Calamus. I wish I had been able to
look Lacrima in the eyes as Naamah twisted the blade in her gut, but I
was trying to extinguish the flames on the chapterhouse and on my
friends. Lacrima has caused us all much pain over the years.

So you see, the burning of the chapterhouse is but a side note to a
greater cusp - the meeting of Lacrima and Naamah and the subsequent
death of Lacrima. Clan Hunter, the Darshak, Polgara, they are all
puppets of this evil mastermind. She has struck a terrible blow to us
this day, and gained a victory for the Darshak, but with thanks to the
Eternal Mother, she will torment us no more. As Lacrima died, she
seemed to disappear into the Nox Calamus, and though I searched the
battleground, I could find no trace of her bright blade.

Afterwards, the healthier members of the Nox Sorora led a raid on Ash
Island. Many Darshak died at Nox Sorora hands that morning, and they
will be joined by many of their brethren. I did not go, I was too
distraught. Jazz has a recount of that raid.

My clanmate, Kira, is caring for Polgara and no doubt hiding her from
the vengeance of my Sisters. Kira says that Polgara is not well, and
seems to have been possessed by something. I know nothing more about
this, but will continue to record here what I learned.

Clan Hunter has issued a statement regarding their participation in
this destruction. They claim innocence by virtue of being beaten to the
punch, but I am not convinced that Polgara did not wield the same flask
that they obtained, passed to her possessed form as a distraction.
Speculation aside, we know these things for sure:

* Lacrima was the architect of this plot, as evidenced by her Crius
announcement and her gloating on the scene.

* Clan Hunter admits that they conspired with the Darshak to obtain
their Ward. Arod and Rel'lim are admitted participants in this plot, I
do not know which other members of the clan are in league with the
Darshak.

* Those guilty will stand in judgement before the Night Mother and no
mortal, the town court may issue what judgement it wishes but the
responsible parties will ultimately answer to Her. Thus I urge no
retaliation from neither my chapter nor any townmember who allows rage
to overrule their mind. Townsfolk who are uncomfortable with having
allies of the Darshak amongst them will likely sanction the traitors as
they see fit, but I urge that it be for Clan Hunter's cooperation with
the Darshak, and not for the crime which they did not commit.

* The Darshak will pay, and Ash Island will burn, in revenge for this
dark act.

4) From Polgara

To: Citizens of Puddleby

As I'm sure you've heard, I blew up the Nox Sorora house. I didn't mean
to.

I talked to Luna (Nox Sorora priestess) and she and Thalion and Anaeka
helped me figure out what had happened - I was really sick and had
forgotten almost everything except for vague memories. Turns out
Lacrima possessed me and made me do this terrible thing.

I apologize to all of citizens of Puddleby for the stress I have caused
you so long after disappearing into the deep recesses of the library.
With the help of the Nox Sorora, I have made certain that this sort of
thing will not happen again. I am sorry for being used to cause
destruction and havoc in my beloved town. Please forgive me.

Solinde ila nak,
Polgara

#####
A FOND MEMORY
BY K'PYN

      They had traveled many uncountable days deep in the bowels of the
boat. Some had sickened and perished. Others had gone mad. For most,
the steady rock and swell of the ocean outside lulled them into a sense
of helpless timelessness. They ate food tossed in from a trap door far
above. Scraps really, hardly worth fighting the rats over but at least
it kept them alive. Everyone knew they would never see their homes
again. They were all bound for exile.

      He waded ashore as told and dutifully signed in at the gates of
town. Town! Hah, this place was certainly an exaggerated use of that
word. It was more a collection of ramshackle shanties amongst a mess of
puddles. He could see a random building here, a random shack there and
winding through it all trails, alleys and exiles.

      Exiles of every race ranged before him. The burly Ghorak Zo were
as intimidating as he remembered from his youth. The sly and dashing
Sylvan captured the eyes and hearts of many. Humans seemed few but
friendly. Compactly powerful drunken Dwarves ran through alleys yelling
for mead. The small, agile and seemingly insatiable people called
themselves Haflings. The smooth pelt of the Fen, who called themselves
"The People", made them sleek and graceful to the eye. Some had their
race concealed from everyone. To his joy, he also saw plenty of healthy
Thooms whose throat sacs added a deeply warm and comforting booming to
the town.

     The Thoom was here at last. His name was K'Pyn, who would be
Ktlor'ok Pyn (had misfortune not kept him from the naming). A name he
chose during his wandering that meant "wielder of sword, known of self"
in his native tongue. He'd traveled all this way arrogantly intent on
building an army to oppose the Ascendancy and avenge the disappearance
of his family only to discover that all he'd learned in his years of
training was useless. By some magic of this forsaken island chain his
strength was now little more than that of a rat. He began working to
regain his strength only to discover that something else happened on
this island. Once each zodiac a wave of chaos swept the lands and in
its wake things were always different.

      Undaunted by each setback, he continued the long task of
rebuilding his strength and while doing so, met and befriended many
exiles. Some were clearly evil and probably belonged in this retched
place, but others had huge hearts and kind spirits. Among those he
found exiles that truly touched him and remained fast and true friends.
This is a tale of one of those.

      I suppose the day was like any other. The sun shone wanly through
an overcast sky. The grunts and groans and clash of weapons of both
Exile and Orga crashed in on my senses. The lush fragrance of the
verdant Tangled wood's vegetation was pierced by the sickly smell of
battle, blood and sweat. As usual, I was testing my strength against
this threat to our fair town Puddleby. I'd had many difficult
fulfilling battles here and was used to sweeping in alone and making
short order of the hairy beasts and their guards.

      This day's triumph was shattered by a sight I'd never before
known. I could barely contain myself and my eyes had minds of their
own. I was stunned to see how easily she stood toe to toe with the
fiercest warriors of the Orga tribe. Her gown gently draped her fit
figure well. Yet it was considerably out of place in these dense woods,
let alone in battle against these beasts. More astonishing was the
realization that not only was she stunningly beautiful, agile and
powerful, but she was also a healer.

      Later in town I saw her again. I watched from a distance worried
that a human might find me somewhat unnerving or possibly even
revolting. Time went by and my interest in her grew stronger. I learned
her name was Mystic Healer and she constantly held her many suitors at
bay. I sometimes listened while she rattled on about the marvelous
adventures she'd had in the lands. She spoke of contests to find the
lady, daring rescues in the most horribly dangerous places I had ever
been and glorious conquests of magnificent beasts. I envied all who
held her attention. I needn't have had so much fear it turned out.

      For it was an evening just after a chaos storm and I was yet
feeling a bit weak when I got my first chance to meet her. As was my
usual design, I was listening in on the sunstone and happened to hear a
cry for help. Apparently she had gotten herself into a dangerous
situation in the Orga's camp. I knew that I might not be strong enough
to help her, but I ran as quickly as I was able into the woods. As I
turned the corner into the camp, I caught sight of her surrounded by
huge fearsome Orga Furies. I could see that they were pounding her
senseless and I feared I could do little to help her but I had to do
something.

      I charged up behind what looked like the weakest in the bunch and
began desperately trying to get its attention. The stench of Orga
filled my sensitive nostrils and I had an idea. I quickly killed a
nearby vermine and waggled it in the face of the Fury. That seemed to
get its attention just long enough that I could lure it away a little.
Slowly and with care, I led the Orga away a bit at a time until, at
last, Mystic Healer was able to break free and run. We both ran into
the nearby woods to rest and heal. Under the moon of the clear sky, I
could see the blush of her cheeks from the battle. I could hear her
ragged breath and could smell the wondrous scent of flowers she wore.
And somehow I could sense more.

      I could suddenly sense in her eyes that she was smiling that
certain way humans do. My blush must have lit up the woods, because she
gently said to me: "It is OK. K'Pyn. My name is Mystic Healer. I've
seen you in the lands for a while and have admired you from afar. I was
worried you might find me unsettling." To which I recounted my own
fears and needless to say we both fell to the ground laughing aloud and
slid warmly into each other's arms. Her first kiss was the sweetest I'd
ever imagined, her first caress lit my senses like the winds and
lightning of a raging storm and the rest is best kept in my heart.

      Over the months, our deep respect and abiding companionship grew
until we knew we should marry and raise our own lovely thooman babies.
Our greatest problem lay in our difference in races. We worried about
what a mess that might be in the eyes of our fair town and in the eyes
of Gaia. Seemingly nonplussed by such things, Mystic asked Gaia
herself! And the lady goddess granted her blessing to our union. Never
had there been a happier Thoom and we became engaged.

      Now each time I sensed a change in the ether and the chaos storm
ravaged the lands, I knew that even if the grass turned violent orange,
I could count on her love and presence. I weathered the storms knowing
she would be there and together she, along with Jo Mamma, Slasher,
Urgelt and myself created the Zodiac Tribe born from a vision given to
Mystic Healer. Hers was a vision of purity of thought and action. "No
greater glory is an exile's life but that he gives his own for
another." A vision I share still to this day. Together the Tribe had
many glorious hunts and held events to help bring exiles together to
enjoy the lands. Blithely I trained, never imagining what it would be
like to be without my lady by my side.

      Then one day I left off studying in the library … and she was
gone.

      The old Thoom put down the pen and let out a long sad sigh. His
weathered calloused hand shook lightly in the candlelight. His
unfocused gaze wandered across the bare desk, beyond the weapons
proudly displayed and out onto the moonlit landscape. The tears on his
cheeks slid in glistening lines spattering onto his tunic. More than
ten years had come and gone since he had last seen Mystic Healer and he
knew deep in his heart it was his own fault. Late one evening in a
moment of weakness, he had revealed the dark side of his soul to her.
He told her he had been a primary force on the horrendous sneak
offensive against the unassailable keep known as Asmorandi. That
assault had left the city waking to forty town guards hanging from the
parapets, each tagged with a note to the Ascendancy. Each one bore a
message to the Emperor: "A life for a life". He was something she
despised and could no longer bear to be around. He was certain of it.
But now he knew what must be done.

      Now it is time to at last say goodbye to her. He will take her
love with him unto the gates of heaven and there lay it down before her
in worship. Never underestimate the power of Love. May Gaia guide you
on your path wherever that may be, dearest Mystic Healer.

Yours truly,
K'Pyn, who would be Ktlor'ok Pyn.

#####
DUN'ILSAR REPORT
BY JEANNE

The baking contest between Light & Shadow and Red Quill has been
completed and Light & Shadow clan emerged victorious. Using the scoring
system for the quantity of baked items made, Light & Shadow earned 179
points vs. Red Quill's 96 points. The descriptions of the baked goods
that both clans were excellent and both got the full amount of points.
The baker for Light & Shadow was Great Pumpkin and Lathena for Red
Quill.

Special thanks to Rincewind, Sir Goric, and Typ who came to act as our
judges on such short notice.

Thanks also to the Red Quill for participating in such a fun and
enjoyable Dun'ilsar challenge. They brought honor to their clan with
their sportsmanship and were worthy opponents.

I look forward to future baking contests because it was quite a great
deal of fun. The concept has a great deal of flexibility and it can be
performed in many different ways.

The Light & Shadow clan members that were present were Jeanne, Mad
Mark, Angela, Mario OneEye, Nyika, Crafty, Great Pumpkin, Garpy, Zed,
and Zakansis.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

THE DWARVEN MILITIA

http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/

Visit the Dwarven Militia's scroll for

* The History of Dwarves
* The Dwarven Militia Baking Contest
* The Puddleby Pushball League
* The Dwarven Volympics
* The Dwarven Militia Brewing Contest
and much more, including visionstones and a library of information

#####
RECENT COURT RECORDS

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_320_22_33 on 50 Autumn, 543 at 22:34..."
Clerus says, "Trowa accused Algernon of being stuck in voting booth
vote inoocent..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 460c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_324_14_11 on 54 Autumn, 543 at 14:13..."
Clerus says, "Slyph accused Sephiroth of using undine exiles to kill
more exiles...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 460c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_335_13_18 on 65 Autumn, 543 at 13:52..."
Clerus says, "J'dy accused Algernon of being in the Inn too long..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_014_17_59 on 14 Winter, 544 at 18:44..."
Clerus says, "Rel'lim accused Kiyeko of Stealing his Oak Basher and not
returning it...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 48 minutes in jail, 614c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_029_21_11 on 29 Winter, 544 at 22:06..."
Clerus says, "Zen accused Odesseus of Practicing Slyphonics without a
license...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 200 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 17 days banished."

#####
HOROSCOPES FOR EXILES
BY MAGPIE

Eghorus the Rooster
Those born under this constellation are in grave danger this zodiac
when you aquire some orgaberries and are tempted to use them for a
really atrocious dye. Also, your feelings of paranoia will soon be
confirmed. Everyone IS talking about you behind your back.

Ina D'Xus the Warrior
This zodiac a recent poll of Puddleby inhabitants will reveal you to be
the exile most likely to drink all of their beer. Also, someone holds
intense feelings for you. I would not call it stalking, but watch your
back around Thooms for the next zodiac or two.

#####
PUDDLEBY BALLOT BOX

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 73, 543, with 1458 eligible
voters:
#232: Do you support the FERT religion?
24 (65%): I don't know what FERT is.
2 (5%): I dislike FERT.
3 (8%): I am neutral towards FERT.
3 (8%): I strongly support FERT.
4 (11%): None of the above
1 (3%): Abstain

#233: We should have storage lockers for Clans so that we can all store
clan items in there and they can be shared.
15 (47%): Yes, what a great idea and very useful too.
4 (13%): No, love carrying round half the clans weaponry all the time.
9 (28%): Yes, a good idea but we'd need to have security so we know
who'd taken things out of stores and put 'em in.
3 (9%): None of the above
1 (3%): Abstain

#234: Which clan has the lamest battle cries?
13 (35%): Winds of Dawn
1 (3%): Dwarven Militia
2 (5%): Rising Claw
8 (22%): Purple Tor
9 (24%): None of the above
4 (11%): Abstain

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Bones' Togron Nut Stew Recipe
"Why I Love Thooms" by Prue
Fishwrap Fishing Derby
Angry Thoom Barbeque
ThoomCare Healing Contest
Clan Strife: Tensions Rise Between and Within Clans

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking
II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

The river to the ocean goes,
a fortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
of ginger, lemon, indigo,
coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
the privileged and weary eyes
of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way.

"Find the River"
- REM, "Automatic for the People"

It's time. Time once again to get your articles, ads, and other
submissions sent to the editor of Fishwrap for inclusion in the
next issue.

I'm especially interested in accounts of the recent fire in town.
How did it get started? What happened?

Paramedic the Thoom
Friendly Neighborhood Thoom Healer
Editor, Fishwrap

Fishmonger, ThoomCare's list of frequently updated scrolls, has
been updated.

Visit today to check out new links to scrolls by Forey, Callia, and
Shepherd. Links to Lundar's Library and CreaCrets have been
fixed to reflect their new addresses.

Fishmonger:
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

Paramedic the Thoom
CEO, ThoomCare
Editor, Fishwrap

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: Who's your daddy?

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Malkor, 2 votes, 5.88%
- Papa Thoom, 5 votes, 14.71%
- _I'm_ your daddy, 8 votes, 23.53%
- Vagile, 3 votes, 8.82%
- Umbrion, 2 votes, 5.88%
- That talking Noid who always gets in my way, 5 votes, 14.71%
- I'm an orphan, 9 votes, 26.47%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue."

Issue #44: "Ethereal Doughnut"
[September 23, 2001]
Circulation: 175

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

WormTounge interview
Fishwrap Top 10
Koric interview
Dead drake
Mystics argue
Fat Alice
Horoscopes
Reader Mail
Sum's Ball of Mud
Clan Profile: Light and Shadow
T'rool interview

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Kryll and Eva have left the lands
* Cassandra and Malkor are married. Malkor says: "Gifts are welcome."
* Nohurt is now a member of ThoomCare
http://nohurt.thoomworld.com/
* ThoomCare member Nohurt is now a second circle healer
* Halfling-hungry Gerag the Drake threatens to burn down Puddleby
* Drake update: Gerag is dead
* The DM sponsored Volympics are coming soon:
http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/volympics/
* Polerand is now a fourth circle fighter
* New visionstone site, by Sanford Oblong:
http://www.geocities.com/hummelsean/sanford_oblong.html

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm makes fourth circle
* Gerag the drake killed by exiles
* Alice's strange little garden
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
(note new address)
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Tenebrion seeks a group of adventurers to get a fresh scaramis egg
* Pictures of Gerag
* Noivad got an Ethereal Stone from Tenebrion
* Sword of Souls
* Robin Greyhawk gets inside the Orga Camp power room
* Storoenna now more competent
* Qual escapes prison
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Chain discussion
* Malkor and Zorton conflict
* Rising Claw is now Dun'ilsar
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Tenebrion and his brothers working on a device to measure Ether
* Callia and Paramedic "help" in the Valley
* Pogue Mahone may be engaged in a private deal with Tenebrion
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

* Portals to the Ethereal Plane are now showing up in Purgatory which
shows that not everything Tenebrion says is based on some drug-induced
insanity. Some theorize that this means that the Ethereal Plane and
Purgatory will become one with the assumed loss of our ability to
depart. This would certainly be a shocking loss to Puddleby as many
explorations are based around the premise that exiles will simply
depart if they get overwhelmed. Unfortunately, it seems that only
fourth-circle fighters/healers and above have any hope of participating
in this event so don't be shocked to find out that you're relegated to
the sidelines.

*  Speaking of Tenebrion, another 'brion brother showed up by the name
of Lugubrion. He reportedly has a blue color scheme. I'm sure he'll be
as insane as the other brothers, but as long as he doesn't want to kill
every exile, I really don't care about his mental problems.

* There is another no-fee library under the pond in the Monastery for
those that can enter. We can't use the well to go under the Monastery
but we can go out of our way to use yet another library. Here's hoping
for those darn rungs to dry off soon.

* The Outpost is still not open. The Sylvans have been picking
wallpaper for so long that it's not even worth making jokes about it.

* A person came to town recently showing off a potion. He said he would
give it to the exile that got the most points in a variety of contests.
At the end, the potion turned out to be a Potion of Energy with
undiscernable effects. Some say that it allows you to run faster but
others say it has no effect on running. More testing needs to be done
to determine who exactly can use this potion. Personally, I think that
it would have an effect on either healer or mystic spirit regeneration
or perhaps the power of mystic boosts. Rigorous testing is definitely
needed.

* The Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery now is an official affiliation, granted
by the grandmaster of the Kiramu Monastery. If you're interested in
learning more, go to:

http://home.earthlink.net/~clmonks/

* Gerag was killed before I had a chance to speak with him for the
Fishwrap. Although I offered him several chances at an exclusive
interview if I could speak to him in a private locale, I was turned
down at every opportunity. Maybe this is because Gerag only concerned
himself with halflings or maybe because of the dozen or so exiles that
were poking him with swords and axes. Nonetheless, it seems that the
only things we will learn of him are his emphasis on the "s" sound and
his desire to eat halflings.

* Johnny Treeseed must have walked into town under cover of night
because some of the trees he planted changed shape and locale and there
seems to be additional trees planted. These trees now have shadows and
add a lot to the ambience that is Puddleby.

* Fat Alice from Kizmia's Island came to town one day demanding the use
of one of our cauldrons. We took her to Husus (near the temple to Gaia)
but she said that it was already being used by someone else. We then
went to the hut by the Lilly Pond but she said that both the cauldron
and the hut were too old and falling apart. Not to mention the constant
grasshopper sound and the smell. So we all trekked to the southwest
farms to the huts there which met to Fat Alice's slight approval. I say
slight because she wanted the holes in the roof to be repaired, the rat
holes covered up, a fireplace, more comfortable beds, carpets, etc. Fat
Alice gave us one month to get the house fixed up and promised a salve
in return. Malkor (who was leading the group) seemed to know exactly
where to go to get help and came with Meyson Carpenter who agreed to
collect building materials to fix the hut up. The exiles present
decided to do a good job and collect 300 building materials. Last I
checked, Meyson was close to finishing so be sure to bring to him any
logs or rocks that you find. I'd hate to fail when we are so close to
finishing.

[Editor's note: Alice was apparently unhappy with the cabin.
See Norm's Diary for the latest on this breaking story.

http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

- Para]

* The Dwarven Volympics was supposed to start on September 15th but has
been delayed to Saturday, September 29, 2001 through Sunday, October 7,
2001. Head on over to

http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/volympics/

for the latest information on events and how to participate.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Fishwrap is back.

I have made available some new pictures in the Fishwrap photo album.
You can view pictures of April Fools' Day and of a recent lava fissure
north of the orchard.

Take care of yourselves out there.

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH WORMTOUNGE
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic asks, "WormTounge, would you like to be interviewed for
Fishwrap magazine?"
WormTounge asks, "Be interviewed by the Fishwrap..?"
Paramedic says, "yes"
WormTounge asks, "Sure! You want to go some place with less noise?"
Paramedic says, "Sounds good."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for agreeing to an interview!"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
WormTounge says, "No problem"
WormTounge exclaims, "Thank you for the offer!"
Paramedic says, "Let's start with one question on the minds of many
exiles."
WormTounge asks, "What's that?"

Worms and tongues

Paramedic asks, "1) Can you explain your name?"
WormTounge says, "Oh.."
Glorak sways back and forth.
WormTounge says, "It's sorta like my father's name, Wimtang"
WormTounge says, "It's a family tradition to follow on with similar
names"
Paramedic says, "Hrm"
Paramedic asks, "so it doesn't literally mean Worm Tongue?"
(WormTounge shrugs)
WormTounge says, "It's sometimes useful to take it literally"
Paramedic asks, "Do you like worms or tongues?"
Paramedic asks, "or even have a position on either?"
Glorak covers one eye and attempts to focus on the wall.
WormTounge says, "Worms I don't mind, tongues are always useful to keep
around"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I don't think I could be much use without my
tongue!"
Paramedic says, "Tongues are important."

The Life of a Merchant

Paramedic says, "2) Can you tell us about your business? You seem to
sell and trade..."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge says, "I started off trading in small stuff, brewing and
baking items mostly"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "But I've since expanded into selling items for
people, usually for free"
Paramedic asks, "Do you make any money at it?"
WormTounge says, "It's fun, and I can make a few coins as well"
WormTounge says, "Not much, but yeah"
WormTounge says, "I guess I could make more going out hunting, but I'd
prefer to rescue people and talk to others in town"
WormTounge says, "So this just fills in time between that"
Paramedic asks, "so you see it as a public service as much as a profit-
making affair?"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yeah, exactly!"
Paramedic asks, "Do you meet many exiles in the process of conducting
your trades?"
WormTounge says, "Absoultely"
WormTounge says, "Too many some days.. it can get very confusing"
Paramedic says, "I've noticed exiles line up to deal with you."
(WormTounge grins.)
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is
wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
Paramedic asks, "What are the most sought-after items in Puddleby?"
WormTounge ponders, "And this is still the second question.. sheesh"
WormTounge says, "Orga and Lila berries I guess"
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "I don't often get to sell those though"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
Glorak hiccups.
Paramedic asks, "What do people NOT want to buy?"
WormTounge says, "Togron nuts! I'm always getting offers to take togron
nuts off people's hands, but not many buyers"
WormTounge says, "They've become the new brambleberries"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad"
WormTounge says, "It's okay, I still sell the potions once or twice a
week"
Paramedic asks, "What's the rarest item you have sold?"
WormTounge says, "A museum token. I've auctioned two of them for
Muzea."
Paramedic says, "Ahhh"
WormTounge says, "Oh, maybe this signpost I've got.."
Paramedic says, "I had one of those once"
Paramedic says, "I wish we could get more signposts"
WormTounge asks, "Did you use it?"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I did. The picture is on my scroll"
WormTounge asks, "Oh, advertising ThoomCare, wasn't it?"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Paramedic says, "Ok let's move to question 3"

The Red Quill

Paramedic says, "3) Tell us about your clan and your role within in"
WormTounge says, "I'm in the Red Quill"
WormTounge ponders, "Bet he'll run out of questions now"
Paramedic ponders, "don't count on it"
WormTounge says, "We're a group of scholars who work together to expand
Puddleby's knowledge of our lands"
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is
wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Personally, I'm just a pleb... I'm kinda new to the
clan as well"
WormTounge says, "It's lots of fun though, we get into trouble quite
often"
Paramedic says, "RQ has been around a long time"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yes, a very long time!"
WormTounge says, "It was started before the Ripture war.. not sure when
exactly"
Paramedic asks, "So you see it as a clan with a bright future?"
WormTounge says, "Definitely! We're always moving forward and doing new
things"
Kalthax thinks, "Mobile ThoomCare™ Unit now roaming SF. Toggle if you
need help."
Paramedic asks, "Some worry that the Nox Sorora is tied to your clan.
Any thoughts on that?"

[Editor's note:

http://www.noxsorora.com/

- Para]

WormTounge says, "It's been a problem in the past for some of our
members"
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
WormTounge says, "One I know left because of conflicts with the Nox"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about the Nox?"
WormTounge says, "Recently, Naamah (I think) helped Aeaea go on a trip
some place"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Most of us thought she had murdered Aeaea, but he's
back with us now"
WormTounge says, "We're still trying to work out exactly what happened
on Aeaea's trip though"
Paramedic says, "So am I."
Paramedic says, "The story seems puzzling"
WormTounge says, "Michael Aridfox was one of the Nox, a Gen Dea,
before. Because of what happened, he left the Nox Sorora"
Paramedic asks, "Because of the Aeaea incident?"
WormTounge says, "He's on a quest now to find his faith again, whatever
that might be in"
WormTounge says, "Yeah.. it's a big mess really"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad."
WormTounge says, "Naamah asked Michael to attack Aeaea ... to try and
help with the ritual"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic says, "What an awkward position to be in"
WormTounge says, "Michael didn't want to hurt his clan leader, so
attacked Naamah instead. Just a misunderstanding, I hope"
WormTounge says, "Aeaea says it was necessary to perform the ritual,
but Michael though Naamah was trying to force Michael to choose between
his clan and his faith"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "That's about all of that story I know for sure
though"
Paramedic asks, "Michael is still with RQ but is doing some soul-
searching?"
WormTounge says, "Yes"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "He threw away his Gen Dea pendant into Ha'and"
Paramedic says, "Wow"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider joining another clan before you joined
Red Quill?"
WormTounge says, "As for other clans ... I was considering several
before I finally joined Red Quill"
Paramedic says, "There are a number of powerful clans these days"
WormTounge says, "I talked to friends in other clans, Order of the
White Elephant and Rising Claw for example"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about clan Pogue Mahone?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.."
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Some of their members I don't like, but others I'm
good friends with"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "It can be hard to generalize about clans"
(WormTounge nods)
Paramedic says, "ok. onward to #4"

Tenebrion and His Family

Paramedic asks, "4) What do you think about Tenebrion and his
brothers?"
WormTounge says, "I don't really know all that much about them all"
Paramedic says, "They seem to multiply"
WormTounge says, "I've never been on one of those Ethereal plane hunts,
or spent much time on Kizmai's island"
Paramedic says, "Me neither."
WormTounge says, "But I'm not fond of them, and don't think any of them
should be trusted"
(Paramedic nods)

The Orga

Paramedic asks, "5) What do you think is the most important issue
facing exiles today?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.. I'm not really sure"
WormTounge says, "I guess the Orga, they're always a danger"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Getting our catapult back would be useful"
Paramedic says, "Definitely."
WormTounge says, "The Darshak are always a threat, as some of the
others say"
Paramedic asks, "Do you participate in the Full Moon Orga Raids?"
(WormTounge chuckles.)
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "When I can. I don't often get to be there for the
whole time though"
Paramedic says, "It takes a long time committment"
WormTounge says, "Haven't seen the Orga magician yet either"
Paramedic says, "Well, we're approaching the end of the interview"
WormTounge ponders, "Ooh, I get to ask a question!"
Paramedic says, "And tradition allows that you may ask the thoom one
(1) question"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE) question"
WormTounge asks, "Okay.. can I've a minute to think?"
Paramedic says, "Of course"
WormTounge ponders, "Ack! That's a question.."
WormTounge says, "oh.. okay"
Paramedic says, "I'll pretend I did not hear your first question"
(Paramedic pretends)
WormTounge asks, "How do you keep up with all the work you have to do?"
Paramedic says, "Well, sometimes I don't. That's why this Fishwrap is
so late."
Paramedic says, "Also, I caught my flipper in the printing press."
WormTounge exclaims, "Oww!"
Paramedic says, "Ow."
WormTounge asks, "It's bandaged up now though?"
(Paramedic waves a bandaged flipper)
WormTounge says, "okay"
Paramedic says, "I really appreciate the efforts of those who submit
materials for Fishwrap."
WormTounge says, "And you've got a whole clan to keep in line as well"
Paramedic says, "Ah, the clan members are a dream to work with"
WormTounge asks, "Does that take much effort?"
Paramedic says, "Very little. The members are independent and self-
motivated"
Paramedic says, "They make me proud."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I think that's the end of my questions!"
Paramedic says, "Allow me to thank you for an excellent interview,
WormTounge"
WormTounge exclaims, "My pleasure!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks!"
WormTounge exclaims, "Have a good day, and.. Thoom!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "well done"

#####
FISHWRAP TOP 10

Top 10 Things That Rhyme or Almost Rhyme with "Myrm"

10. Sun Wyrm
  9. Rel'lim
  8. germ
  7. Norm
  6. berm
  5. Zhirem
  4. Miriam
  3. slurm
  2. fern
  1. Large Tahxis Wurm

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KORIC
BY JEANNE

I was very pleased to interview Koric about training, love, and his
clan, the Rising Claw.

- Jeanne

Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "You are famed for your high Horus ability. Why did you
choose this particular path?"
Koric says, "Well."
Koric says, "First of all, I am kind of a lone wolf."
Koric says, "I do not like arriving on the scene to rescue someone and
have to call for more help."
Jeanne ponders, "I've seen that happen often."
Koric says, "But that only explains the first 200 ranks or so."
Koric says, "I also saw a need."
Koric says, "No one at the time had filled that niche. Having a lot of
Horus in one exile I knew would be useful."
Koric says, "Because the trend in our adventures is towards groups
going further and further from town."
Koric says, "Facing more and more dangerous situations."
Koric says, "As we grow in power, we face monsters that are stronger,
capable of causing more grievous harm."
Koric says, "Unfortunately, even my training hasn't kept up with the
danger level."
Koric says, "I am often insufficient against massive dredlock lightning
or the pebbles thrown at us in the foothills."
Jeanne says, "That's shocking considering you have above 800 Horus."
Koric says, "But others are also starting to specialize, like Azael,
Dandelion, Aly, Puffy-s, Trystran D'Ark and of course, Lorikeet, who is
my equal in Horus."

Horus Recommendations From An Expert

Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "What level of Horus do you recommend for those healers
that choose to specialize in other trainers?"
Koric says, "I find that good levels of non-specialty ranks are 20 and
100."
Koric says, "20 is good for things like Loovma Geer, pathfinding,
Mentus. Minor skills."
Koric says, "Also Skea."
Koric says, "100 is good for Horus."
Koric says, "Also for Proximus."
Jeanne says, "That's an interesting rule of thumb which I hadn't heard
before."
Koric says, "Anything beyond 100 is useful, of course, but I would
consider 100 a good minimum."
Jeanne asks, "I did wonder about why the later teachings of Horus were
getting more difficult. Is it the nature of the craft?"
(Koric nods.)
Koric says, "Well, as I discuss in my journal a bit, it does get more
difficult."
Koric says, "True for any specialization, I think."
Koric says, "There are some things everyone can grasp pretty easily."
Koric says, "But as you get deeper and deeper into a subject, it gets
more abstract, more out of touch with the everyday."
Koric says, "That is certainly true when trying to keep spirits and
material bodies in contact."
Jeanne says, "I am sure many exiles are thankful for the dedication
that you have. I know that I am."
(Koric smiles.)
Koric says, "I am glad to hear that."
Koric says, "It is a difficult path, but I take it gladly."

The Art of Love

Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne asks, "You have been recently engaged. Do you have any romantic
advice?"
Koric says, "Hmmmm."
Koric says, "I guess I've always found that the time you are most
likely to find love is when you are not looking for it."
Koric says, "I think females can often smell desperation in a male, and
it is often very unattractive. :)"
Koric says, "So when you aren't looking, when you are just being
yourself, not posing or acting or putting on a show..."
Koric says, "That's when people will most likely see your true self,
and if they like what they see, that's who you want."
Koric says, "My other advice is to be patient."
Koric says, "Oh, and fens are the best."
Koric says, "To those pursuing fens, I would gladly offer advice
privately. :)"

Living the Cloaked Life

Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "Why do you choose to wear a cloak and do you want more
choices for our appearance and if so, what kind?"
Koric says, "Well, I think regular human clothes make me look a lot
fatter and bulkier than I really am."
Koric says, "All this running makes me pretty wiry. The cloak fits me
much better."
Koric says, "I also find it difficult sometimes to accept the gaze of
others into my eyes."
Koric says, "There are sometimes things there that others are not meant
to see. My studies are often difficult."
Koric says, "The cloak's hood helps block out distractions. I like
that."
Koric says, "I'm pretty happy with our different modes of dress and so
forth."
Koric says, "But I would always welcome more options."

The Claw

Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "What is so great about the Rising Claw?"
Koric says, "Of course, the strength is in the wonderful members, the
individuals I love and respect."
Koric says, "I knew Kodo, Perkusi and Lorikeet best when I joined, and
we are all still close."
Koric says, "I also have a deep respect for the spirits of Trystran
D'Ark, Tyndall, Sareth. Gosh, I hate to name more because I know I will
leave someone out."
Koric says, "Anyway, I'm very proud of our competitiveness in the
Dun'ilsar. We are currently 2nd, and we're about to challenge OWE for
the top spot in a couple of zodiacs."
Koric says, "It is fun to hunt with my fellow claws, but we also have
respect for each other's independence to a degree."
Koric says, "We've had our problems within the clan, but for the most
part, members discuss things openly without bitterness or pettiness,
and we are stronger because of it."
Koric says, "Odesseus maintains a great message service for us all, and
he is the real heart of the clan."
Koric says, "Our clan has history and tradition. It has fun. It has
respect. And it is getting better all the time."
Koric says, "A lot of that is due to the care and leadership over the
years of older members like John Junkar and DeathLord."
Koric says, "But there I go listing names again, and I apologize again
for anyone I am leaving out."
Koric says, "It's a great clan, and I'm glad I'm a part of it."
Jeanne says, "It sounds like you have a lot of justifiable pride."
Koric says, "I am optimistic. Our clan has good people."
Koric exclaims, "Well, an interesting interview! Thanks for offering to
put me in Fishwrap!"
Jeanne says, "It was my pleasure."


#####
NEW BARD SCROLLS

The Bard's Guild of Puddleby is pleased to announce the new location of
its Guild scrolls:

http://clanlordbard.org

Please update your bookmarks!

- Phineas

#####
UNOFFICIAL FISHWRAP INTERVIEW WITH IHO
BY SUM THE THOOM

Sum exclaims, "Iho!"
(Sum smiles.)
Iho says, "Hiya Sum"
Sum asks, "Do you have a moment?"
Iho says, "sure"
(Sum smiles.)
(Sum plops down messily into the puddle. He thooms happily.)
Sum says, "Please join me in yon puddle."
Sum says, "I wish to interview you unoficially for Fishwrap Magazine.
It will take but a moment."
Iho says, "Alright"
Sum says, "I have a number of questions, which you may answer or choose
not to."
Iho says, "ok"
Sum asks, "Are you ready?"
Iho says, "yep"
Iho is a Halfling, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
Puddlebean Ornithological Soc..
He is holding a moonstone.
(He is a Darkhorse eye, a Cartographer and the Navy Doc.)
Sum asks, "Question 1: Thooms wear no pants. How do you feel about
this?"
Iho says, "I think every races should do the same. Pants are hot in
summer."
Sum says, "You are correct! *BING*"
Sum asks, "Question 2: I used to own a ball of mud. I no longer own it.
How do you feel about that?"
Iho says, "mmm... I don't care :)"
Sum says, "That makes me kind of sad, you know."
Iho asks, "Why would you like a ball of mud?"
Sum whispers, "Just go with it."
Sum says, "Question 3: As a fellow fighter, which would you say is more
important:"
Sum asks, "Hitting very often and quickly, or only a few times, put
with precision and power?"
Iho says, "Well... I'm a healer but... I prefer precision and power."
(Sum nods and makes a note.)
Iho says, "I like a lot of balance too."
Sum asks, "So, sort of both?"
Iho says, "Well... like, Ziff and Urgelt rather than like Gurgi."
Sum says, "Ahh."
Iho exclaims, "Sorry, Gurgi!"
(Sum grins.)
Sum asks, "Question 4: What three words most succinctly describe The
Puddlebean Ornithological Society?"
Iho says, "To me... Birds, Friends, Fun."
(Sum smiles and jots that down.)
Sum asks, "Question 5: Why is your hair green?"
Iho says, "Because green is the color of Gaia and I worship her."
(Sum smiles.)
Sum exclaims, "Thank you for your time! You have been most helpful!"
Iho says, "My pleasure"
Sum exclaims, "Keep your eyes peeled for the next issue of Fishwrap
Magazine, where this interview will appear!"
Iho exclaims, "Glad to contribute!"
(Sum smiles warmly.)

#####
THOOMCARE MEMBER OTEPEI JOINS THE RANKS OF 4TH CIRCLE HEALERS

After many months of study with Master Higgrus, I was able to raise
Glory and pass the 4th circle healer test. While Bruno claimed that
most who passed are stronger than me, I still managed it. I would like
to thank all who provided me with great training advice to meet this
challenge and all those that sunstoned me after the test with
congratulations and sent good karma.

Now I am on the long road of training with Virgil to gain my Pendant.
Donations accepted for my pendant fund.  =)

Thoom!

Yours,

-Otepei

#####
CLAN PROFILE: LIGHT & SHADOW
BY CLAN LIGHT & SHADOW

ORIGIN
Light & Shadow has been a clan since before the Ripture War. Our
founding fathers included Chucky, Lokiz, Jeanne, and 2 others whose
names have been lost to history.

Our leaders searched long and hard for an identity for the fledgling
clan. Their way became clear when a dream reminded Jeanne of the
ancient telling:

"Back before the dawn of time, the Moon's eldest children reached into
the Land of Shadow and stole a part of the glowing moon. They fled to
our own realm and brought light and joy with them. Now the Moon yearned
after the missing Light and the smiles of her children, and so she
caused new children to walk the lands. But the results of this were
creatures that mimicked the noble creatures of the Sun and the Earth in
horrible ways. The Moon, who was now half Dark and half Light, took
back her children because she finally understood that they couldn't
continue walking the World. She blessed the saddest of them by turning
them into stars to keep her company in the night sky. Twelve children
alone remained to her and these she shielded from the Sun and the Earth
so that they might live in harmony."

From this came our name and motto ("The face of the moon sees the
injustice of the world, and the glowing sun will shine the light of
truth and hope.")

You might think that this is a strange part of history to base a clan
on but this tale has lessons for all to learn. The first lesson is that
people can do strange things when they are lonely. As independent as we
think we are, we need other people. Another lesson is that desiring
something and having it are often entirely different because there may
be undesirable consequences. We can also learn from the Moon's
understanding that selfishness and jealousy lead only to trouble and
destruction to others. Becoming a better and wiser person is something
we should all aspire to and part of that is learning from our mistakes.

ORGANIZATION
There are many clans in Puddleby and all exist for different reasons;
some are organized around a particular cause, others are a bunch of
friends who like to spend time together, and some are highly structured
organizations. The Light & Shadow clan (L&S), however, is very much
like an extended family. It just goes to show that you can choose your
family as well as your friends, despite what the popular saying might
lead you to believe. ^_^ While we don't have a chain of command, our
two leaders are Mad Mark and Angela.

One of the benefits of being a family is that all of the members are
allowed to choose their own path with support from others. If you fall
down, you will be picked up, brushed off and set back on your journey.
If you make a mistake, you'll be given a chance to make amends. If you
need help, a hand will be extended.

While every L&S member is different, we do have similarities. We like
helping others in any way that we can.  We enjoy exploring new places.
We all strive to get better and bring honor to our professions.

JOINING
If you want to see us in action, feel free to come to our weekly
meetings on Sundays which start at 2 p.m. Pacific. Typically, the first
thirty-minutes are devoted to business so if you want to hunt with us,
let us know and we'll sunstone you when we're ready to head out. You
can also ask any of us questions if you see us about the lands.

If you'd like more information about the Light & Shadow clan, head over
to our web scrolls at:

http://www.lightandshadow.org

#####
ROVING REPORTER
BY HELLPOP

Greetings fellow exiles. Hellpop here, roving reporter for Fishwrap
magazine. What with all the hubbub and ballyhoo over Tenebrion and his
communications with us, I felt it would be interesting to have a chat
with other talkative folks around the island. Relations with many of
denizens of our island are often quite rocky, and it will be worthwhile
to see what they have to say. So here goes ...

My first interviewee dwells in the dark caves east of Puddleby and
seems to be a loner. I entered the Noids cave filled with apprehension
about killing any of the smaller spiders there, concerned that doing so
may raise suspicions about my motives as an unbiased reporter.

I carefully explored the cavern, seeking its ancient resident. Sure
enough, I found the Talking Arachniod amid the stalagmites and dark
shadows of the cavern.

Hellpop: "Greetings Arachnoid. My name is Hellpop. May I ask you a few
questions?"
(no reply)
Hellpop: "I'll take that as a yes. What are your feelings on the exiles
that come into your cave? Do you have any aspirations to--"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "Really? That sounds quite interesting! Can you tell me what a
Kthk-T'kel is?"
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your
kind."
Hellpop: "Oh I get it. The Kthk-T'kel guys are noids. That's what we
call 'em. Yeah, they are dangerous to my kind. Thanks for the warning.
Might I say that you are the coolest spider thingie that I've met on--"
Arachnoid: "The other tribes fight for the cave south of here."
Hellpop: "Right. Well, not to contradict you or anything, but all they
seem to fight is us. I've never seen them fight each other."
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "Right. Got it. Beware the big spiders that kick my ass to the
south. Now if I can just ask you a few--"
Arachnoid: "Thk'Ekl make fine weapons, if you've got the training."
Hellpop: "Okaaaay, now we're gettin' somewhere! We exiles are always
interested in fine weapons! What kind of training do we need to procure
these things? What is the weapon? Like a wicked bullwhip made out of
webs? That would be cool. Or maybe a nasty looking spider sword?! I'd
sure like one of those!"
Arachnoid: "We were once a united race, But the Change swept through
us."
Hellpop: "Right. Changed... fight for the cave... now, Can we get back
to the spider sword? Can you tell me if I have to bring you something
in exchange for this fine weapon you spoke of, or is it just lying
about somewhere?"
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "I got that already! Let's try to concentrate here, man. What
you're saying is that these changed spiders used to be cool with each
other, but now they fight, even though no one has ever seen that, and
then they make 'fine weapons' that we must train for, but there is no
training available, and no weapons?"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found deep down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "And apparently spiders smoke cave moss..."
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your
kind."
Hellpop: "This conversation is over."

Next, I headed deep into the South Forest. Past the South Forest, in
fact, to the southern Brambles and into T'rool Town! I had foraged this
spot for a while in search of ore and a few good skins, but never had I
stopped to chat with the resident T'rool - T'Goth. I found him, as
always, sitting in a place of prominence in the heart of the town.
Again, trying not to upset relations for the interview, I did not
attack any of the T'rools that were running around the town. There sure
were a lot of them though, and they all wanted to get a piece of me as
I approached T'Goth.

Hellpop: "Hello T'Goth. My name is Hellpop, and I would like to ask you
a few questions about your relationship with Puddleby and its exiles."
(no response)
Hellpop: "Would you mind calling some of these guys offa' me? It's
getting kind of crowded."
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
Hellpop: "Oohhh. So you're a priest"
(Note: At this point I thought that maybe the T'rools communicated with
their hands. So I gave T'goth the good ole' thumbs up! This had no
effect.)
Hellpop: "Well, then. Maybe you could tell me what it is you T'rools
worship? Some kind of freakish T'rool God? Or maybe a large rock
carving?"
(no response)
Hellpop: "Do you have any interest in furthering the communication
between our two towns? An exchange program of sorts, or even pen pals
maybe?"
T'Goth: "This town be ours!"
Hellpop: "Oh, yeah. I wasn't suggesting that we would want your town or
anything. To be quite honest, I don't see how you stand the smell down
here near the swamp. And ... no offense here ... but leeches give me
the willies!"
(Note: At this point many T'rools had surrounded me and they were three
deep to try and get a swing in. I do not claim to be a mystic, but I
got the definite feeling that I was not welcome there.)
T'Goth: "Get out, ya fair smellin' little nose."
Hellpop: "But I just want to ask you a few more questions."
Monster: "But I just want to ask you a few more..."
(Note: Some of the T'rools around me actually took time out of trying
to kill me and spoke to me.)
Hellpop: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Monster: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Hellpop: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking to you right now."
Monster: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking..."
Hellpop: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this when I was a kid."
Monster: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this..."
Hellpop: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Monster: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Hellpop: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to facilitate relations here!"
Monster: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to..."
Hellpop: "I mean it! Stop!"
Monster: "I mean it! Stop!"
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
  Hellpop: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle finger!? You frickin'
green fatso! I'll show you a sign!"
Monster: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle..."
(Note: Sadly, at this point all communication seemed hopeless. To be
honest, it may have been my fault. I started hacking at anything green
in the immediate vicinity.)

So to sum up, it does not seem that relations with the T'rools are
possible at this time. The Arachnoid did not seem to have any clues as
to the whereabouts of his "fine weapons" and this reporter thinks that
he is an unreliable source for any kind of useful information. Come to
think of it, its eyes looked rather dilated to me, so I would just say
no to the spiders in general.

Hellpop here! Have a nice day and happy hunting!

#####
READER MAIL
Letters, we get letters

From Nyssa:

To the Editor,

A copy of the Fishwrap #43 landed with a splat and an apalling odor on
my doorstep. It included a noxious interview with one Raldin, a so-
called Mystic. In this interview, the said Raldin implied that I wanted
to overthrow the Mystic Council and establish a council of my own. This
is a lie. The Fishwrap, by printing his slanderous statements has
committed libel. You will be hearing from my attorney.

Nyssa

*

From Sir Califas Lomas:

Hello Paramedic,

I was wandering about the Middle Pass one day after hearing there was
an exile in need thereabouts. Either I was mistaken, or they were aided
before I could arrive, I cannot remember which. This left me with
little to do in the area save wander a bit more. Upon entering the
Middle Pass Well area I was attacked by a small tribe of Wendeckas and
forced to exit East or be trapped. Once inside the Greymyr Passes I
decided I would attempt to escape by way of the South Pass and began to
journey in that direction.

At the "T" intersection of the southern route towards the South Pass
and the continuance of the passage towards the Greymyr Village I
happened on an odd looking rock. Stooping quickly to pick it up I
continued towards the South Pass and exited with little incident. After
a cursory inspection of the rock I went about my normal business and
thought little of it. I have shown this brittle grey rock to various
exiles with neglible result. Thinking perhaps one of your readers might
have come upon a similar object or have some relevant information
concerning its use, I have sent you this missive. My Thanks to you for
your consideration.

May you seek the true path,

		 Sir Califas Lomas
		 Company of the Shield
		 Guard of the Golden Tree

*

From Fletcher:

My dear readers,

There has been considerable loquacity on the newscrolls of late about
the privation our island is suffered without access to archery.
Unfortunately, the flummery of foex populi has reduced that forum to
not but a collection of vox et praeterea nihil. I have posted this
scroll there, however, it is lost among the multitude of others, most
of which are not suitable for use in the privy.

I will thus attempt to elucidate.

Currently, the state of archery in Puddleby is dreadful. Many of our
sylvan friends possess bows, but their arrows can fly no further than
arm's length.

This, my friends, is due to poor fletching.

One would think that the arrival of the finest fletcher in the capital
would soon result in the twang of bowstrings and a sky darkened with
arrows.  However, it took me quite some time to find acceptable
feathers!  The scavenger bird is a filthy, mite-infested thing, which I
will not deign to touch. Simply dreadful! I daresay the feathers are
useless even as pillow stuffing!  Eventually I was led towards the
mountains, where I found bloodhawk feathers, which are much more
acceptable. They will do, although I have a sample of a feather with
remarkable properties of strength and endurance. It was given to me by
an exile who said that it came from some exotic fowl called a "Super
Chicken."

I have since begun to produce arrows of significantly greater quality.
Such arrows do not come cheap, which is a factor to bear in mind when
considering becoming an archer. Arrows make a wonderful tactical tool
in battle, but for hunting, you're likely to spend more on my wares
than you are to gain in furs on the hunt. More powerful arrows, with
arrowheads that do more damage to the target, will of course cost you a
pretty penny.

I have provided my best arrow with the golden head, wrought from the
simplicity of Bloodhawk doves, yet though I invest the care that
knitteth souls and prospers loves, we get no range from John Arrowish's
strongest bow! This sad fact, dear townsfolk, is because we have no
bowyer. A bent fishing pole of whittled willow is a sorry substitute
for a finely crafted bow, I daresay. A skillful bowyer would bring
ranged weaponry to our fearful town. Sadly, it is not my craft.

Do not think that archery would create an invincible town of exiles. I
warn you that the benefits will not be so advantageous.  No beast could
be trapped and felled, for beasts run towards their prey, and any
object that would trap the beast would block an arrow as well! It is
true that an exile may parry a beast's blows while his allies fell it
with arrows, but this is no different than striking from behind and
dashing away. Furthermore, if a beast is trapped by a nearby exile
against a tree, so that distant exiles may fell it, they will surely
learn not to be distracted by such a simple trick and to instead move
about in a manner that will prevent it. One must also bear in mind the
extreme difficulty in aiming a long, arching shot towards a beast that
is cavorting about will result in few exiles mastering this art. I
envision instead arrows protruding from the backs of the very warriors
the archers are trying to support!

Despite these varied and significant impediments to archery's
effectiveness, I nonetheless encourage the town to seek out a bowyer.
After all, I am accustomed to the lifestyle of a merchant, and I am not
at all pleased with having to stoop to hunting to maintain my exquisite
finery!

Thus far the Gods have not blessed us with a bowyer. Perhaps they think
it will upset the delicate balance of nature. I assure you that is not
the case! I've got an arrow here, loving the hand that fletched it, I
the dart revere. Fell, beasts will be, in skirmish! Vanquished, my
ranks will show. By but a simple arrow?  Sped by an archers bow?

At your service,

Fletcher

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Got the DEW?  Lump Samples Needed!  Cure the Disease!

Is that ghastly lump starting to itch? Bothering you? Forcing you to
carry a lighter load in your pack?  Help find the cure! Using a very
gentle procedure we can pull a small sample of your lump which may
prove essential in finding a cure. Without your help, you may carry
your "Prue's Nose" with you for months more! Years! Who knows it could
be the rest of your life!

Please drop by and see Dr. Tessa Malthus when you get a chance and give
your sample today! Remember, a lump a day keeps the doctor away!

THIS JUST IN! Dr. Malthus now can use her field sample extrication kit!
No need to stop by the office ... it hardly interrupts your very
valuable hunting time! With field extrication there is no need to waste
time going to the office! So hurry! What's the delay? Act NOW!

(Dr. Tessa Malthus is a board certified dermatologist and general
surgeon, and a member of ThoomCare Affiliates. However, risks with any
procedure are natural, and while every precaution is made to avoid
complications, past results of this procedure, while rare, include
death, stroke, heart attack, significant blood loss, edema, long term
pain, and tissue scarring. Your results of course may vary).

(This ad has been paid for by the Transgenic Neoplasm Society)

#####
THIS ZODIAC'S HOROSCOPE
BY MAGPIE

Enba the Rat
Those born under this constellation can expect a rough zodiac. Things
will go from bad to worse when you plans of becoming rich are thwarted
by an unexpected spriggin somewhere in the Tanglewood.

Elixus the Cat
Gaia will finally answer your prayers this zodiac, sadly the answer
will be "maybe." Plans for a party you are planing will be ruined when
you trust a Zo for the decorations. Feral-head hats and vermine
streamers... ugh!

Shaer the Healer
This constellation bodes well for you this zodiac - if you like
brambleberries. If you don't then you're in trouble 'cause you're gonna
find a lot of them. Also a Sylvan will make an offer you can't
refuse... Refuse it.

Oobiscus the Foxweir
The stars are very pleased with the way you have been acting lately.
Although they're not so sure about your choice of clothing. Also, next
full moon you will be surprised by a sunstone message from Tenebrion
asking you to trade a tangleberry pie in exchange for an Ethereal
Doughnut.

#####
COURT RECORDS
Justice in Puddleby

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_306_01_52 on 36 Autumn, 542 at 3:07..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of suing Friv trials that caused FH
deaths..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 366 minutes in jail, 4297c fine
and 0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_03_44 on 20 Winter, 543 at 4:33..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Panthro of trying to kill Algernon..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 22 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_05_08 on 20 Winter, 543 at 6:17..."
Clerus says, "Trowa accused Madcat of ruining the zoo and hard work..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 62 minutes in jail, 256c fine and
2 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_023_13_46 on 23 Winter, 543 at 14:58..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Wrath of killing the new town zoo..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 79 minutes in jail, 228c fine and
4 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_025_13_17 on 25 Winter, 543 at 14:14..."
Clerus says, "Mephisto accused Pe Ell of trying to scam exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 37 minutes in jail, 282c fine and
0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_037_09_17 on 37 Winter, 543 at 10:24..."
Clerus says, "Sabbit accused Lilit of chaining Agrath into the dark
cave..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 87 minutes in jail, 44c fine and
5 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_13_15 on 51 Winter, 543 at 13:57..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Sasha of a dumb name..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_19_05 on 51 Winter, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "MegaDuckie accused Tyranis Calgar of
FlameingPeuginSquad..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 191 minutes in jail, 423c fine
and 16 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_053_08_24 on 53 Winter, 543 at 9:34..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Malkor of Blackmail..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_08_50 on 61 Winter, 543 at 9:56..."
Clerus says, "Micheal accused Cody of Kidnapping Algy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 169c fine and
0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_16_36 on 61 Winter, 543 at 17:50..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Trespasser of Harrassment, and glad apun
my goat (Moe)'s death..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 166 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 13 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_069_06_35 on 69 Winter, 543 at 7:34..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Maz of taking away my powers and toturein
me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 915 minutes in jail, 9196c
fine and 98 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_070_07_25 on 70 Winter, 543 at 8:19..."
Clerus says, "Eva Loriel accused Rand of killing with other exiles, my
cute pet Rocky...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_077_09_05 on 77 Winter, 543 at 9:49..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Deornoth of sexual harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_098_12_28 on 8 Spring, 543 at 13:10..."
Clerus says, "Lummox accused Xepel of not stopping his damn music..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_106_18_34 on 16 Spring, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Blitz of being possessed by a vile
spirit...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 59 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_108_19_54 on 18 Spring, 543 at 20:57..."
Clerus says, "Tardalus accused J'dy of Killing lovely gifts of
nature..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 84 minutes in jail, 465c fine and
4 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_110_19_34 on 20 Spring, 543 at 20:29..."
Clerus says, "Righ Badenoch accused Prue of aiding a drake in eating
fellow exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_122_06_57 on 32 Spring, 543 at 7:50..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Zaroff of making fun of a national
crisis...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1006 minutes in jail, 15073c fine
and 107 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_125_21_29 on 35 Spring, 543 at 22:23..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of Conspiracy to destroy a future
raid..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 575 minutes in jail, 6768c fine
and 60 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_135_01_55 on 45 Spring, 543 at 2:41..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Crystal of being a witch..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 259 minutes in jail, 1498c
fine and 24 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_03_50 on 52 Spring, 543 at 4:40..."
Clerus says, "Amrosar II accused Streetus Danaca of breaching the town
peace...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 110 minutes in jail, 159c fine
and 7 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_11_59 on 52 Spring, 543 at 12:58..."
Clerus says, "Caticus accused Nilor of disrupting a FMOCR and the
workings of the sun...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_03_52 on 57 Spring, 543 at 4:42..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Chicot of killing innocent Tors..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 126 minutes in jail, 648c fine
and 9 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_12_00 on 57 Spring, 543 at 13:14..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Zeus of Exposing people to lude
behavior..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; probation."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_163_19_23 on 73 Spring, 543 at 20:27..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Malkor of Taking my SS..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_168_01_05 on 78 Spring, 543 at 1:41..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Algernon of nothing (someone locked
him dead in the purple tor)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_171_03_36 on 81 Spring, 543 at 4:28..."
Clerus says, "Rel'lim accused Kiyeko of Theft and possession of my
stolen OB and mace..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 734c fine and
0 days banished."

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Angry Thoom Barbeque
More Horoscopes
Behind the Moonstone with Bones the Thoom
Super Chicken: Exile, or Fowl?

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum,
Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

When the flood calls
You have no home, you have no walls
In the thunder crash
You're a thousand minds, within a flash

"Here Comes the Flood"
- Peter Gabriel

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Which choice best describes your
connection to the Internet? (This
entirely OOC question will be helpful
in planning future Fishwrap endeavors.)

   o 33K modem or slower
   o 56K modem
   o cable modem
   o DSL
   o other broadband (faster than 56K)


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

A new Fishwrap will be coming out soon.

If you have anything to submit, please do so before Saturday,
September 1.

Thoom

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Unbiased Thoom News and Views from a Source You Can Trust"

Issue #43: "House on a Freeway"
[August 12, 2001]
Circulation: 165

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Tenebrion can't stop talking
ThoomCare founder seeks a Purgatory pendant
New library in town
Hall of Chivalry
Coriakin reports on the new potion
Parting words from Leogic
Fishwrap interviews Raldin the Mystic

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Raldin the Mystic's Sunstone Tuning Service
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tara has left the lands

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Taking turns whiffing the ghastly
* Norm brings his goat to Ma Tota
* Orgas begin to use chaining technology
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Travelling the planes
* Clouds in Purgatory
* Mirrors in the Tower
* Ethereal Stones
* Huge cave complex
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Tunnels under town have been greatly expanded again
* Journeyman Nevyn advanced to the rank of first circle mystic
* Museum space auction
* Lok'Groton Islands' Foundation for Exploration (LIFE) goes to North
Eastern Foothills
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_327_12_47 on 57 Autumn, 542 at 13:31..."
Clerus says, "Raknus accused Luc of abusing the court system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_327_13_51 on 57 Autumn, 542 at 14:46..."
Clerus says, "Romuli accused Luc of Abusing the court system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_337_20_48 on 67 Autumn, 542 at 21:38..."
Clerus says, "Panthro accused Lorikeet of leaving me for dead in South
Forest...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_342_10_19 on 72 Autumn, 542 at 11:10..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Soulmaster of destroying her
property..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 12 minutes in jail, 23c fine
and 0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 31, 542, with 1386 eligible
voters:
#201: Which of the following statements best describes your feelings
about skin dye?
6 (12%): Skin dye is too expensive.
14 (27%): Skin dye does not last long enough.
18 (35%): Skin dye is too expensive, and does not last long enough.
9 (18%): Skin dye works fine the way it is.
3 (6%): None of the above
1 (2%): Abstain
#202: What should Rising Claw re-name itself?
2 (4%): "and Friends"
13 (26%): Pogue Mahone's Little Bitches
1 (2%): Pogue Mahone's mobile Horus clinic
11 (22%): "Lorikeet, and some other people"
12 (24%): None of the above
11 (22%): Abstain
#203: Who gets in your way the most when you are trying to fight?
5 (10%): Healers
14 (27%): Other fighters
2 (4%): Healers
5 (10%): "Backpacking" healers
18 (35%): None of the above
7 (14%): Abstain
#204: Should cigars be smoked in town center?
25 (51%): Yes.
2 (4%): No.
11 (22%): Smoking hurts lungs. So, stop smoking around others.
8 (16%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#205: Who ate my shoes?
7 (14%): Sum probably did! Weirdo thoom ...
11 (22%): I like grape juice.
2 (4%): Fish.
12 (24%): Will you be my friend? I really need a friend. I mean, trees
are nice and all, but they don't talk ... um, please?
8 (16%): None of the above
9 (18%): Abstain

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

NEW LIBRARY

One of the unique aspects of Puddleby life is that there just aren't
many useful things to buy. Thousands of coins have gathered dust in the
bank with nary a purpose until the opening of a new super-advanced
library. It turns out the digging dwarves located tomes of even higher
learning and a library constructed to house them and have hired
librarians to care for them. In terms of aesthetics, this library is
more richly furnished than the current libraries with more tables and
chairs to sit at and a cozier atmosphere. Of course, all of these
amenities come about because of the exceedingly high cost of renting
the books; 875 coins a zodiac. No reports exist yet of just how much
more experience you get over the other libraries, but I'm sure that one
will surface shortly.

HALL OF CHIVALRY

Near the Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery, a new builder (D'rraldrri) collects
building materials and coins for the construction of a Hall of
Chivalry. What could possibly be contained within once it is finished
is anyone's guess.

What I'd like to see is a place where the ideals of chivalry, such as
courage, honor, loyalty, and consideration for others, are discussed. A
place where such behavior is encouraged in others and the chivalrous
way is shown to all that are interested. The cynical side of me says
that it will probably just be a museum with statues of knights and
nothing else, but I can dream for something bigger and better.

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

You'd better go get a snack. This is a long Fishwrap.

In other news, it has become apparent that a Purgatory pendant would
help me considerably, for both rescuing and reporting. Unfortunately,
my limited income does not allow me to afford such an expensive item.
Are there any clans or individuals willing to contribute to a fund for
a Purgatory pendant for me? Your contributions will of course be
recognized with either sponsorships or advertising space in the
Fishwrap, if you so desire.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
CALLIA THE MYSTIC SPEAKS SPEAKS TO TENEBRION

Trouble in the Ethereal Plane

8/3/01 3:46:45a Callia says, "hello"
8/3/01 3:47:34a Callia says, "I fear there are few healers strong
enough and well enough trained"
8/3/01 3:47:41a Tenebrion says, "Ether is flowing out of the Ethereal
Plane at a rate I have never seen before."
8/3/01 3:47:51a (Callia looks uncomfortable)
8/3/01 3:48:08a Callia thinks, "are there any healers with pendants in
the lands?"
8/3/01 3:48:14a Tenebrion says, "If I am correct and it is following
the
paths to Purgatory, your town could be in considerable trouble."
8/3/01 3:48:34a Callia asks, "what should a healer who checks look for?
clouds of Ether?"
8/3/01 3:48:57a Tenebrion says, "I would hope it is not that strong
there.
There might be other signs."
8/3/01 3:49:19a Callia asks, "any speculation regarding what those
signs might be?"
8/3/01 3:49:27a Tenebrion says, "For a cloud to form requires a truly
massive amount of ether."
8/3/01 3:49:47a Callia says, "they have been sighted in Puddleby on ...
one or two occasions"
8/3/01 3:50:12a Tenebrion says, "Things may appear out of phase."
8/3/01 3:50:19a Tenebrion says, "A heat shimmer perhaps."
8/3/01 3:50:23a You think to Babajaga, "can you find a 4th circle
healer to check Purgatory?"
8/3/01 3:50:28a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 3:50:33a Tenebrion says, "Something like the appearance of the
clouds but fainter."
8/3/01 3:50:39a Tenebrion says, "It could take many forms."
8/3/01 3:50:41a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:51:04a Babajaga thinks to you, "Baffette is now"
8/3/01 3:51:08a Callia asks, "is the conduit .. permanent?"
8/3/01 3:51:21a Odesseus says, "hrm"
8/3/01 3:51:28a Tenebrion says, "No sooner had I warned one of your
townsfolk earlier today of the dangers of traveling from the Ethereal
Plane to Purgatory..."
8/3/01 3:51:39a Tenebrion says, "than a group went and did exactly
that."
8/3/01 3:51:42a You think to Babajaga, "can you ask her to check
Purgatory for ... heat shimmers, or possibly weak clouds of Ether?"
8/3/01 3:51:51a (Callia sighs and nods)

Stargazing

8/3/01 3:52:00a Tenebrion asks, "Perhaps your people do not believe or
trust
me?"
8/3/01 3:52:03a Barbarossa is now Clanning.
8/3/01 3:52:13a Callia says, "if I point to a star..."
8/3/01 3:52:21a Callia says, "a constellation..."
8/3/01 3:52:23a Callia says, "and say.."
8/3/01 3:52:26a Callia says, "that is Sororian"
8/3/01 3:52:32a Babajaga thinks to you, "She says its completely empty"
8/3/01 3:52:34a Callia says, "you might believe me"
8/3/01 3:52:35a Tenebrion exclaims, "!"
8/3/01 3:52:45a Callia says, "but.. if I point to a bench.."
8/3/01 3:52:46a Tenebrion asks, "What do you know of such matters?"
8/3/01 3:52:52a Callia says, "and say the paint is wet"
8/3/01 3:52:58a Callia asks, "do you touch it?"
8/3/01 3:53:04a Callia asks, "to be sure?"
8/3/01 3:53:05a Babajaga thinks to you, "She says it looks perfectly
normal"
8/3/01 3:53:14a Callia says, "I have made a study of such matters"
8/3/01 3:53:18a Tenebrion asks, "Why would you point to that
constellation?"
8/3/01 3:53:23a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 3:53:41a Callia asks, "perhaps because it is stationary over the
Lok'Grotton islands?"
8/3/01 3:54:02a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 3:54:06a Odesseus says, "scuse, be right back"
8/3/01 3:54:10a Tenebrion says, "Yet faint and barely visible. A
constellation of no importance."
8/3/01 3:54:10a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:54:24a Callia says, "of no importance.. of course :)"
8/3/01 3:54:35a Babajaga thinks to you, "She is still in there. You may
want to contact her directly"
8/3/01 3:54:49a You think to Babajaga, "talking to Tenebrion
now..sorry.. distracted"
8/3/01 3:54:56a Callia says, "Baffette is in Purgatory now..."
8/3/01 3:55:02a Callia says, "she says it looks normal"
8/3/01 3:55:26a You think to Baffette, "Tenebrion was asking about
conditions there, he is quite concerned"
8/3/01 3:55:26a You concentrate on sending your message to Baffette.
8/3/01 3:55:47a Callia asks, "so.. you also have studied the
constellations?"
8/3/01 3:56:06a Tenebrion says, "I'm more interested in the ether at
the present."

Tenebrion Is Disturbed

8/3/01 3:56:06a Baffette thinks to you, "the other night there were
Abyssal hunters in Purgatory"
8/3/01 3:56:41a You think to Baffette, "he's more worried about Ether
at the moment, he says it's pouring out of the EP at a heretofore
unseen rate"
8/3/01 3:56:59a (Tenebrion clears his throat)
8/3/01 3:57:10a Callia says, "Baffette sees nothing.. although she saw
Abyssal hunters a few nights ago"
8/3/01 3:57:20a Baffette thinks to you, "There are little purple and
blue and
yellow splotches in there, but I think that is normal"
8/3/01 3:57:25a Callia says, "hmm..."
8/3/01 3:57:31a Tenebrion says, "That is disturbing."
8/3/01 3:57:37a Callia says, "She says she sees little splotches of
color..."
8/3/01 3:57:44a Callia says, "blue.. yellow.."
8/3/01 3:57:53a Tenebrion says, "We have been searching on many planes
and can find no disturbances."
8/3/01 3:57:54a Callia says, "She thinks it's normal for this time of
day"
8/3/01 3:58:04a Callia asks, "So.. where is the Ether going?"
8/3/01 3:58:12a (Babajaga leans into the wall)
8/3/01 3:58:15a Tenebrion says, "We cannot search them all of course."
8/3/01 3:58:35a Tenebrion says, "The most sensible conclusion is
Purgatory, but we are unable to see that for ourselves."
8/3/01 3:58:44a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:58:48a Callia says, "perhaps..."
8/3/01 3:59:09a Callia says, "the essential body .. and the structure
are not the same.."
8/3/01 3:59:32a Babajaga thinks to you, "Anything new?"
8/3/01 3:59:36a Callia asks, "might the structure be weakened, without
immediate observable results?"
8/3/01 3:59:59a Tenebrion says, "It would depend on your sensitivity to
such matters."
8/3/01 4:00:05a Odesseus thinks to you, "door locked"
8/3/01 4:00:06a You think to Babajaga, "not yet, he's worried about the
flow of ether from the EP, he says it's flowing at a prodigious rate"
8/3/01 4:00:12a Tenebrion says, "I could sense a weakening
immediately."
8/3/01 4:00:19a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:00:22a Tenebrion says, "An untrained mind might never sense
it."
8/3/01 4:00:25a Callia says, "I can sense some things.."
8/3/01 4:00:41a Babajaga thinks to you, "He might be wrong that it's
our
travel that causes this, or his motives might not be what he say they
are.."
8/3/01 4:00:46a Callia says, "I sensed when the Hunters approached"
8/3/01 4:00:50a Tenebrion says, "I can tell you what is happening on
one end."
8/3/01 4:00:56a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:01:03a Tenebrion says, "You should try to determine if
anything is happening on the other."

Behind Locked Doors

8/3/01 4:01:12a You think to Babajaga, "I know, can you help Ode and
Forey get here?"
8/3/01 4:01:19a (Babajaga nods)
8/3/01 4:01:22a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:24a Odesseus thinks to you, "can't get in tunnel, hut door
locked"
8/3/01 4:01:25a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:26a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:27a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:34a You think to Odesseus, "Baba is coming to help you"
8/3/01 4:01:39a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:01:53a Callia asks, "do you know of any tools which are used
to study the planes?"
8/3/01 4:02:06a Callia says, "my guild .. has much natural ability.."
8/3/01 4:02:24a Callia says, "but.. amplifaction would be helpful"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Babajaga thinks to you, "gah. .trapped"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Tenebrion says, "There are keys of a kind to facilitate
the choice of a plane which you want to"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Odesseus thinks to you, "why locked?"
8/3/01 4:02:38a Tenebrion asks, "Is "move" the correct word?"
8/3/01 4:02:47a Callia says, "Babajaga tells me she is trapped"
8/3/01 4:02:51a Tenebrion says, "There are keys of a kind to facilitate
the choice of a plane which you want to move to."
8/3/01 4:03:06a Callia asks, "hmm.. and.. do these also offer
feedback?"
8/3/01 4:03:24a Babajaga thinks, "Need help TK courtyard"
8/3/01 4:03:35a Coriakin thinks, "omw TK"
8/3/01 4:03:39a Tenebrion says, "In the same manner a tuning fork does.
That is an adequate description."
8/3/01 4:03:57a Callia asks, "hmm.. and where does one acquire such
tools?"
8/3/01 4:04:04a (Tenebrion smiles.)
8/3/01 4:04:15a (Callia raises an eyebrow and smiles)
8/3/01 4:04:24a Tenebrion says, "Long sleepless nights spent
researching books which should no longer exist."
8/3/01 4:04:32a Tenebrion says, "Trial and error."
8/3/01 4:04:40a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:04:55a Tenebrion says, "Some clever guesses."
8/3/01 4:04:59a Tenebrion says, "Some luck."
8/3/01 4:05:13a Callia says, "a course of study you would recommend? or
not"
8/3/01 4:05:39a Tenebrion says, "I don't know how to answer that."
8/3/01 4:05:57a Tenebrion says, "It is a way of life my brothers and I
have chosen."
8/3/01 4:05:59a Callia asks, "well.. could you facilitate my study
thereof? if you wished to?"
8/3/01 4:06:29a Callia says, "I wish to serve my community.. as foolish
as some of them are.."
8/3/01 4:06:30a Tenebrion says, "To be honest, not until we were on
much better terms."
8/3/01 4:06:37a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:06:40a Callia says, "a fair answer"
8/3/01 4:07:04a Callia says, "do you speak personally? or..
specifically?"
8/3/01 4:07:08a Callia says, "or.. in general"
8/3/01 4:07:15a Tenebrion says, "More generally I believe."
8/3/01 4:07:18a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:07:23a Callia says, "so I surmised"
8/3/01 4:07:46a Tenebrion says, "I would no sooner give weapons and
armor to the beasts than some of this knowledge to a people I am not
sure I trust."
8/3/01 4:07:58a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:08:03a Tenebrion says, "I enjoy certain individuals."
8/3/01 4:08:16a (Callia smiles politely)
8/3/01 4:08:34a Callia says, "this is a penal colony"
8/3/01 4:08:40a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:08:50a Tenebrion says, "As has been pointed out."
8/3/01 4:09:01a Callia says, "some of our members are.. less evolved"
8/3/01 4:09:09a Callia says, "we do what we can"
8/3/01 4:09:14a Tenebrion says, "I have encountered some of those."
8/3/01 4:09:19a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:09:25a Callia says, "far too many I'm sure"
8/3/01 4:09:39a Tenebrion says, "My brothers call me."
8/3/01 4:09:45a Forey has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:09:48a Callia says, "hmm"

Tenebrion's Warnings

8/3/01 4:09:51a Tenebrion says, "Let me leave you with two cautions."
8/3/01 4:10:09a (Callia listens)
8/3/01 4:10:23a Tenebrion says, "Every time someone moves from the
Ethereal Plane to Purgatory they are making things worse."
8/3/01 4:10:25a Odesseus has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:10:43a Tenebrion says, "(If indeed you care about the
condensation of ether in Purgatory.)"
8/3/01 4:10:52a Tenebrion says, "And the second..."
8/3/01 4:10:52a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:11:04a Tenebrion says, "The Ethereal Sword is not a
plaything."
8/3/01 4:11:09a Coriakin has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:11:12a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:11:14a Tenebrion says, "Attempts to acquire it cannot help
you."
8/3/01 4:11:25a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:11:35a Odesseus thinks, "I'm alright"
8/3/01 4:11:42a Callia says, "I will not keep you... but I would like
to speak to you again, when your time allows..."
8/3/01 4:12:10a Tenebrion says, "I will attempt to keep you apprised of
changes on the Ethereal Plane and how they might be affecting
Purgatory."
8/3/01 4:12:11a Callia thinks, "Ode, Cori, and Forey all down"
8/3/01 4:12:18a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:12:19a Odesseus thinks, "I'm up"
8/3/01 4:12:23a Tenebrion says, "I would appreciate reports on any
disturbances in Purgatory."

Family Feud

8/3/01 4:12:39a Callia says, "I am also curious.. regarding your offer
about the Portal, for the Teleportation stones"
8/3/01 4:12:45a Forey is still fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:12:50a Tenebrion says, "I am discussing it with my brothers."
8/3/01 4:12:51a Barbarossa is no longer Clanning.
8/3/01 4:12:58a Flex thinks, "Coriakin is in Tenebrion's Demesne,
fallen."
8/3/01 4:12:59a Tenebrion says, "Some of us are violently opposed."
8/3/01 4:13:02a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:13:19a Tenebrion says, "I am arguing that allowing you
controlled access is better than the damage you might cause otherwise."
8/3/01 4:13:30a Callia says, "we have only met Umbrion..."
8/3/01 4:13:47a Tenebrion says, "he is the most vocal against you."
8/3/01 4:14:00a Flex thinks, "Forey is in Tenebrion's Demesne with
Coriakin.
Both fallen. Anyone assisting them?"
8/3/01 4:14:03a Callia asks, "hmm... you have 4 other brothers I
believe?"
8/3/01 4:14:09a Tenebrion says, "Yes."
8/3/01 4:14:10a Coriakin is still fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:14:19a Callia says, "it would be a pleasure to meet them also
:)"
8/3/01 4:14:52a Tenebrion says, "They guard their privacy jealously."

Spells of Protection

8/3/01 4:15:00a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:15:03a Callia says, "ahh well"
8/3/01 4:15:06a Tenebrion says, "As yet the spells of protection still
guard their homes."
8/3/01 4:15:32a Callia says, "hmm.. curious that Umbrion, who is
opposed to us.. has lost control of his"
8/3/01 4:15:40a Odesseus has fallen to a Bolok Cougar.
8/3/01 4:15:41a Tenebrion says, "If you could ever find out what has
broken the ones around this island and that of Umbrion's we would
reward you richly."
8/3/01 4:15:44a Forey has been fallen for some time because of a Guard
Commander.
8/3/01 4:15:52a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:16:11a Callia says, "I have one point to suggest..."
8/3/01 4:16:19a Tenebrion says, "They do not fail by accident."
8/3/01 4:16:26a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:16:30a Callia asks, "by design?"
8/3/01 4:16:43a Tenebrion says, "Someone or something is robbing their
power."
8/3/01 4:16:54a Odesseus thinks, "because it's locked, idiot"
8/3/01 4:16:57a Callia says, "illusory barriers are not a subject for
casual study"
8/3/01 4:17:06a Callia says, "like much else :)"
8/3/01 4:17:10a Coriakin has been fallen for some time because of a
Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:17:10a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:17:26a Callia says, "Qual seems to have little trouble
maintaining his barriers"
8/3/01 4:17:39a Callia says, "though those of my guild can see through
his illusions"
8/3/01 4:17:46a Tenebrion says, "I have not met him."
8/3/01 4:17:51a Callia says, "nor have I"
8/3/01 4:17:57a Callia says, "I merely comment"
8/3/01 4:18:01a Tenebrion says, "I am told he is evil."
8/3/01 4:18:18a Callia says, "from our perspective, and that of
Votenkath.. yes"
8/3/01 4:18:22a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:18:30a Odesseus thinks, "ok, fine. there is no action or
attack on
TI, just a couple of wanderers who fell"
8/3/01 4:18:38a Callia says, "my comment"
8/3/01 4:18:39a Tenebrion says, "And may be blamed for everything from
bad weather to baldness."
8/3/01 4:18:45a Forey has been fallen for some time because of a Guard
Commander.
8/3/01 4:18:49a (Callia smiles)

Sarirs

8/3/01 4:19:04a Callia says, "you have established Sarirs (is that what
you call them?)..."
8/3/01 4:19:13a Tenebrion says, "I can make them."
8/3/01 4:19:13a Callia says, "to offer items in trade.."
8/3/01 4:19:20a Lucero thinks, "Coriakin is fallen near the bridge
outside Tenebrion's castle."
8/3/01 4:19:25a Tenebrion says, "Ah."
8/3/01 4:19:32a Tenebrion says, "Yes. I am not always available."
8/3/01 4:19:33a Callia says, "for .. certain items that Exiles
encounter, and acquire"
8/3/01 4:19:40a Callia says, "it seems to me.."
8/3/01 4:19:49a Tenebrion says, "To keep certain items out of their
hands."
8/3/01 4:19:50a Callia says, "that such ... servants of yours..."
8/3/01 4:20:01a Callia says, "are aggravating the problem"
8/3/01 4:20:09a Coriakin has been fallen for some time because of a
Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:20:12a Callia says, "between Purgatory, and the Ethereal
Plane"
8/3/01 4:20:14a (Tenebrion sighs)
8/3/01 4:20:24a Tenebrion says, "I have such trouble understanding you
people."
8/3/01 4:20:38a Callia says, "many of them are .. morally weak"
8/3/01 4:20:41a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:20:47a Tenebrion says, "I thought it would stop your people
from playing with items they should not have."
8/3/01 4:21:06a Tenebrion asks, "You suggest it encourages them to get
them?"
8/3/01 4:21:07a Callia asks, "so instead you offer them access to the
place you have warned us not to go?"
8/3/01 4:21:16a Callia says, "I believe it does"

Tenebrion and the Ethereal Plane

8/3/01 4:21:26a Tenebrion says, "I do not mind if you go to the
Ethereal
Plane."
8/3/01 4:21:32a Tenebrion says, "I do not own it."
8/3/01 4:21:36a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:21:41a Callia says, "but.."
8/3/01 4:21:45a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:21:47a Tenebrion says, "And it makes no difference to me in
the slightest if Purgatory falls."
8/3/01 4:22:00a Callia says, "even the strongest parties tend to find
difficulty surviving there"
8/3/01 4:22:04a Tenebrion says, "I offer this information to you merely
because your people seem to care so much."
8/3/01 4:22:09a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:22:14a Callia says, "and for that I thank you :)"
8/3/01 4:22:21a The Sun rises.
8/3/01 4:22:36a Callia thinks, "Good Morning!! :)"
8/3/01 4:22:44a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:22:56a Callia says, "we have been told.. by our elders..."
8/3/01 4:22:58a Callia says, "and others"
8/3/01 4:22:59a Tenebrion says, "It is up to you scholars to educate
your townsfolk as to the wisdom of going to the Ethereal Plane."
8/3/01 4:23:11a (Callia smiles slightly)
8/3/01 4:23:15a Callia says, "we try"
8/3/01 4:23:24a Callia says, "we have been told..."
8/3/01 4:23:29a Tenebrion says, "It is not a dangerous trip. If you
know what you are doing."
8/3/01 4:23:43a Callia asks, "you have ... suggestions? to aid groups
there?"
8/3/01 4:23:49a (Tenebrion laughs.)
8/3/01 4:23:53a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:23:58a Tenebrion says, "Not at this time. No."

The Wager

8/3/01 4:24:09a Callia says, "you are wise Lord Tenebrion, who else
would we ask? :)"
8/3/01 4:24:39a Tenebrion asks, "Your scholars have a council of
sorts?"
8/3/01 4:24:42a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:24:44a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:24:58a Tenebrion says, "I have faith you can determine the
wisest course of action yourselves."
8/3/01 4:24:59a Callia says, "yes, we do"
8/3/01 4:25:08a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:25:12a Tenebrion says, "I have made a substancial wager on
that very outcome."
8/3/01 4:25:17a Tenebrion has not disclosed his race, is male, is a
Fighter, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
8/3/01 4:25:17a He is holding a dagger.
8/3/01 4:25:19a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:25:44a Callia says, "how .. trusting of you :)"
8/3/01 4:25:52a Callia says, "Umbrion has bet against us? :)"
8/3/01 4:25:55a Tenebrion says, "Not trusting."
8/3/01 4:26:03a Tenebrion says, "Yes he has."
8/3/01 4:26:07a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:26:18a Callia asks, "may I ask what the .. nature of the wager
is ?"
8/3/01 4:26:21a Tenebrion says, "I believe you to be far more
intelligent than he does."
8/3/01 4:26:32a Tenebrion says, "Unpredictable, but intelligent."
8/3/01 4:26:35a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:26:49a Tenebrion says, "He likens you to, well, perhaps that
is not important."
8/3/01 4:26:55a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:27:04a Callia says, "perhaps not :)"
8/3/01 4:27:15a Flex thinks, "Babajaga is fallen in Tenebrion's keep."
8/3/01 4:27:35a Callia thinks, "as are Coriakin and Forey"
8/3/01 4:27:36a Coriakin thinks, "I'm up, will be raisin' Baba soon
with the help of many others"
8/3/01 4:27:43a Tenebrion says, "I imagine many people sit on the wet
paint. At some stage they might learn not to. ;)"
8/3/01 4:27:45a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:27:49a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:27:52a Callia says, "indeed :)"
8/3/01 4:27:54a Tenebrion says, "Farewell. I am late."
8/3/01 4:28:01a Callia says, "thank you for your time :)"
8/3/01 4:28:11a Tenebrion is no longer Clanning.

#####
POTION REPORT
BY CORIAKIN THE THOOM

Ahoy there!

I recently heard the news that Mar Solkin had disappeared, after
finally selling his potion to the Winds of Dawn (on behalf of Puddleby)
for approximately 70,000 coins and some brambleberries.

Being naturally inquisitive, I rushed to the alchemy lab and learned
the creation process so quickly, I probably forgot some things about
healing. Ah well.

In any event, I became either the first, or one of the first exiles to
be able to create tykan healing potions! The process involves
dissolving kyten into distilled water, and adding crushed togron nuts
to the solution until it turns a dull silvery colour. The actual
proportions need to be carefully measured, and some training in basic
chemistry and specific alchemy is required before usable potions can be
created.

As soon as I had produced several of these potions, Highlander, Zorton,
and several others along with myself set about testing the potion to
determine its healing capabilities. We discovered that its healing
capabilities are greater than that of red healing potions, but once a
body is battered beyond a certain point, the potion is useless. Thus,
it cannot be used on fallen exiles. Although red healing potions are
proscribed by the Healers' Guild, there are no restrictions upon tykan
potions, and healers may use them freely.

To sum up:
- New healing potion, requires some training to produce
- Ingredients: togron nuts, kyten, water (bottled)
- Can be used by all professions
- Heals more than red potion, but doesn't work on fallen
- Held in left hand (VERY good for chainers)
- Healed me (better student bodrus, better student higgrus) 20-25%

The price for a potion will of course fluctuate with the availability
of the ingredients, mainly the kyten. Since togron nuts are pretty
common and kyten is continuously available (for a price), I decided
that 150c for a potion is a pretty reasonable price. Some people have
given me all the ingredients, and I'm happy to make potions for people
who bring all the parts to me, but when people ask for more than 1 or
two potions, I charge 10c per potion for services. Since there is no
precedent, I tried to set a standard that seemed reasonable. If people
are charging you more than something along those lines, you're probably
getting ripped off. :)

In my opinion, Mar Solkin didn't rip us off. These potions, while they
can't be used to raise fallens, are half the price of red potions
(depending on the price of kyten), are easily available, can be used by
any profession, and are useful for emergency situations and especially
for chainers.

I hope that the price of 150c will be enough to discourage fighters
from taking potions hunting instead of healers. I doubt this will be
much of a concern, though.

Coriakin
Healer, Bard, Alchemist

#####
AN APPEAL TO THE CITIZENS OF PUDDLEBY
BY LEOGIC

(Editor's note: Leogic recently left the lands for an extended journey.
It's unknown if we'll see him again. Fishwrap here presents one of his
last writings.

- Para)

Citizens of Puddleby and Those Beholden to It,

Of the Ethereal Plane, its portals and freely trading our technology to
an enemy encampment.

I find it very dolorous that someone - Gurgi or Natas - would sell the
efforts and hopes of others in desire of attaining themselves a
glistening new gewgaw. Deranged and baneful are some of the few words
and impressions that spring to mind. Methods of the Darshak or T'rool
are others. Do you really respect and admire individuals who have
habitually done whatever suits themselves without regards to if it was
right or wrong?

I would recommend that if the lot of you want to keep Puddleby from
being dominated by the dark-hearted and corrupted souls, do something.
I feel pity for Tyking. He has taken the brunt of the blame for being
an agent of Tenebrion. He is surely not the only one.

Many will question in detail, mostly those who seek power above wisdom,
my motives in saying this. Pondering the possibilities of my individual
feelings and motives being jealousy and/or spite, they will ask how
wrong is this, or what do I know. They question the word of a minor
fighter. It's easy to dismiss my word, as many dun creepers have sought
to debase it. I seek those whose words hold greater weight and who
rally against such actions and treacheries.

I beseech some of you to look inward and search yourself and ask that
you realize what is going on before it is too late. Think and summon
what wisdom is within you and act before the lot of you are sold off
for 30 pieces of silver.

Sincerely,
Leogic of The Fighter's Guild

#####
UNOFFICIAL FISHWRAP INTERVIEW WITH SLYPH
BY SUM THE THOOM

Sum exclaims, "Slyph!"
Slyph says, "hiya, Sum"
Sum asks, "Do you have a moment?"
Slyph says, "er, I guess so."
(Sum grins.)
(Sum plops down messily into the puddle. He thooms happily.)
Sum says, "Please join me in yon puddle."
Slyph says, "gah"
Slyph says, "um, I'm fine on land :)"
Sum says, "Aww, pooh."
Sum says, "I wish to interview you unofficially for Fishwrap Magazine.
It will take but a moment."
Slyph exclaims, "!"
Slyph says, "ok, sure :)"
(Sum smiles.)
Sum says, "I have a number of questions, which you may answer or choose
not to."
Sum asks, "Are you ready?"
Slyph says, "alright."
Slyph exclaims, "ready!
Sum asks, "Question 1: Thooms wear no pants. How do you feel about
this?"
Slyph asks, "I feel fine about that. why should Thooms cave in toward
oppressive gender norms?"
(Slyph smiles warmly)
(Sum grins.)
Sum asks, "Question 2: I used to own a ball of mud. I no longer own it.
How do you feel about that?"
Slyph says, "I feel just fine. Look about you now. You are rich in
mud."
Sum says, "Good point."
(Slyph nods)
Sum says, "Question 3: As a healer, which is more important to you:"
Sum asks, "Rapid healing from red to white, or rapid raising of the
dead and the far-gone?"
Slyph says, "Rapid healing is more important-- it's preventive healing,
it sidesteps being fallen at all."
Sum says, "Good answer."
Slyph says, "Er, the first choice."
(Sum jots that down.)
Slyph says, "of course it is."
(Sum snickers.)
Sum asks, "Question 4: What three words most succinctly describe your
clan, the Moon?"
Slyph says, "Hmm."
Slyph says, "Fluid, tenacious, and intuitive"
Sum exclaims, "Very good!"
(Slyph smiles)
Sum asks, "Question 5: Do you think I would look good in a dress like
yours? I mean, be honest. Do I have the hips?"
Slyph says, "hmm."
Slyph says, "I haven't seen this color on a Thoom, but if you didn't
have pale skin, it could work."
Slyph says, "Fashion is all."
(Sum makes a note.)
Sum exclaims, "Thank you for your time! You have been very helpful!"

#####
FISHWRAP POLL

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

Malkor                                       1     4.55%

Papa Thoom                                   4     18.18%

_I'm_ your daddy                             4     18.18%

Vagile                                       2     9.09%

Umbrion                                      1     4.55%

That talking Noid who always gets in my way  3     13.64%

I'm an orphan                                7     31.82%

To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

The poll is still open!

Vote today!

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH RALDIN THE MYSTIC
BY JEANNE

Jeanne says, "Okay, I have 5 questions and then you ask me one question
at the end. Do you have any opinions on the Mystic Council in general,
and if so, what are they?"

Raldin says, "I think the Mystic Council is very good."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about the reasons that Neige gave as
for his leaving?"

Raldin says, "Uhm, you don't really question a mystic who's about to
jump if you already know why he's gonna do it. I'm just sorry that he
didn't realize that being a mystic is miserable a lot earlier. We try
to tell people, but they won't listen."

Jeanne asks, "Why do you say that being a mystic is miserable?"

Raldin says, "Well, we have the highest suicide rate I'd say,
especially with the recent events. I don't think fighters ever kill
themselves because they are so pathetic or healers, for that matter. I
say we are pathetic beacuse that is the nature of the guild. It's a
long tradition, and all members try to keep it up."

Jeanne asks, "So what exactly is so bad? The profession itself, the
guild, or the people who join? In your opinion, of course."

Raldin asks, "The bad part about being pathetic, you mean?"

Jeanne says, "I mean, what do you think causes mystics to be so
useless? The guild, the mystic profession itself, or the people who
join, or a combination of them?"

Raldin says, "Well, the very nature of a mystic is uselessness. Why
there are people who want this is beyond me...but, the fact is that
there really are people who want to be mystics."

Jeanne says, "I still don't understand why you think mystics are so
useless, though. It seems to me that mystics can be as useful as
healers or fighters."

Raldin says, "Heheh. Well, useful is a tricky word. Yea, sure our
fallen bodies can brick monsters .. and that's useful. But beyond
that..."

Jeanne asks, "Well, what about locating fallen or tuning sunstones or
boosting? Aren't those skills useful? Certainly more useful than the
exiles who dedicate themselves to repairing worn clothes"

Raldin says, "All that stuff is all well and good but hardly essential"

Jeanne says, "I think I used the word "useful.""

Raldin says, "The price paid for each of those things is much too high
to be of value to us which is part of our problem."

Jeanne asks, "What is the price paid?"

Raldin says, "Urm, no comment."

Jeanne says, "Oh, okay, don't want to breach any mystic secrets. So,
why did you become a mystic?"

Raldin says, "I was one of those people who got it in their head to be
useless and pathetic, and I wanted to throw fireballs."

Jeanne says, "Pity that any fireball throwing would be done by
fighters, even if that would happen in my lifetime."

Raldin says, "Ah jeeze, I think I have to go visit Resetus then."

Jeanne exclaims, "Oh, no! Don't do that!"

Raldin says, "Oh yea, we still got this interview."

Jeanne asks, "So what is your specialty?"

Raldin says, "Well, I can act..."

Jeanne says, "I meant mystic specialty, but your other specialties are
okay too."

Raldin says, "Ok, I see how it is..."

(Raldin nods lightly)

Jeanne says, "I want to inform everyone on the powers of the mystic."

Raldin says, "Ahahaha"

Jeanne ponders, "Even though they all seem to have low self-esteem."

(Raldin chokes on his laugh)

(Jeanne slaps Raldin on the back)

Raldin says, "oof, thanks."

Raldin says, "Oh yes, we are really powerful, just ask that great
vermine that soloed me the other day."

Jeanne says, "Well, not everyone can kill everything that moves."

Jeanne asks, "No seriously, what is your mystic specialty? What do you
like to boost? If anything, of course."

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "I like to boost exiles."

Jeanne asks, "Which boost?"

Raldin says, "Yes"

Jeanne asks, "Yes?"

Raldin says, "You got it."

Jeanne asks, "Both boosts? I don't mean to pry. I just want the
Fishwrap readers to know a bit about your skills as a mystic. Feel free
to boast."

Raldin says, "My skills are like my guild. I tune a sunstone now and
again. It's fun to do, I like doing that, but then I get soloed by a
great vermine, which is not so fun. Sometimes I come up short, but then
I realize that has more to do with being a dorf."

(Jeanne chuckles)

Jeanne asks, "So you are more of a generalist mystic?"

Raldin says, "As in I am generally useless and pathetic, yes."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about the lowering of Nyssa's mystic
status and her subsequent leaving?"

Raldin says, "People make choices. It's all the same in the end. If she
overthrew the Mystic Council, she would have created a council of her
own, someone wouldn't have liked it, overthrown it and made their
council... and then ANOTHER person would not have liked THAT council
and then overthrown THAT one. Then we would be back to square one."

Jeanne asks, "So are you saying that she would have been better served
by working with the current council?"

Raldin says, "That's a "what if", those are scary."

Jeanne says, "Ah indeed, they are rather uncertain"

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about how mystics are promoted?"

Raldin says, "Promotions are good. I like hearing everyone congratulate
people on their advancement into the abysmal Mystic Guild. It gets a
chuckle out of me sometimes, but then I find a giant vermine who makes
me stop laughing."

Jeanne asks, "I hear that being promoted depends more on who you know
than on your skill. Your thoughts on this?"

Raldin says, "I think that who ever said that is just frustrated with
being a mystic which makes little sense, to me at least."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think of the role of mystics in Puddleby
society?"

Raldin says, "It is very similar to that of those strangly dressed
greeter-people in the clan house and courthouse. We are just like those
guys.

Raldin ponders, "I wish I knew their tailors too."

Jeanne says, "You don't have a high opinion of your abilities. Do all
mystics feel this way? I mean, why be something if you feel so bad
about being it?"

Raldin says, "No, some might think we aren't so bad, but I think they
are just in denial... makes little sense, but there are very few things
that do make sense"

Raldin says, "When you find something that does, it's usually served in
the pub."

Jeanne says, "I suppose I won't understand why mystics think they are
useless. You can argue for less useful at times. You can also argue for
more useful at times too. Kind of like the rest of us. Do you think I
am in denial for thinking this way?"

Raldin says, "No, just misinformed. I try to trust in the Sun and just
walk my path."

Jeanne says, "Now you can ask the Fishwrap reporter ONE question."

Raldin asks, "Just one...? heheh"

Jeanne says, "Well, you can have two."

Raldin says, "LOL"

Jeanne says, "Maybe even 3 if you share back."

Raldin is sharing experiences with you.

Raldin asks, "Ok, will you give me a discount on an ad now?"

Jeanne says, "Hmmm, I can possibly cut a deal with Paramedic. I *am* a
senior reporter now."

Raldin says, "Or do I have to include TUNE WITH RALDIN as part of the
interview?"

Jeanne asks, "Oh no, how much do you want as a discount?"

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "50%."

Jeanne says, "I'll get as much as possible."

(Raldin nods)

Jeanne asks, "Anything else?"

Raldin says, "Nope, was fun thanks"

Jeanne asks, "Want to say anything to the Fishwrap readers?"

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "I've got nothing"

(Raldin waves)

Jeanne asks, "So you want to say "hello"?"

Raldin says, "Yea that's good."

(Jeanne smiles)

Jeanne says, "Thank you for the interview and your opinions on mystics"

(Raldin nods)

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCMENTS

Engaged: D'Noma and Arod

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH TENEBRION
RECORDED BY YOR THE ZO

The House on the Freeway

8/7/01 8:12:26p Natas says, "hey big T"
8/7/01 8:12:29p Yor exclaims, "Strim!"
8/7/01 8:12:31p (J'jh waves)
8/7/01 8:12:32p (Achates bows.)
8/7/01 8:12:34p (K'Pyn waves.)
8/7/01 8:12:39p K'Pyn exclaims, "'Lo sir!"
8/7/01 8:12:39p (Demian sighs sadly.)
8/7/01 8:12:55p K'Pyn ponders, "talkative today I see"
8/7/01 8:12:58p Tenebrion says, "Greetings"
8/7/01 8:13:07p J'jh ponders, "thanks for offering this chair.."
8/7/01 8:13:11p Achates says, "Hello Lord Tenebrion"
8/7/01 8:13:26p Demian says, "Min'tei Tenebrion'sar..."
8/7/01 8:13:28p Tenebrion asks, "Has there been any evidence that the
ether flowing from the Ethereal Plane is in fact flowing to your
Purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:13:37p K'Pyn asks, "evidence sir?"
8/7/01 8:13:43p Yor says, "yes"
8/7/01 8:13:43p Natas says, "not that I have seen"
8/7/01 8:13:56p J'jh says, "There was an ethereal cloud in Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:14:00p Natas says, "ahh"
8/7/01 8:14:01p (Yor nods.)
8/7/01 8:14:02p Achates says, "Yes"
8/7/01 8:14:05p Tenebrion says, "That is a bad sign."
8/7/01 8:14:16p Yor asks, "Does departing from the Ethereal Plane hurt
Purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:14:16p K'Pyn asks, "The cloud in purgatory is a bad sign?"
8/7/01 8:14:17p J'jh says, "it is"
8/7/01 8:14:28p (Demian frowns.)
8/7/01 8:14:44p Tenebrion says, "I don't think it is the departing. It
is any move from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:14:52p Achates says, "Ahh"
8/7/01 8:14:56p Yor says, "good"
8/7/01 8:15:02p Satuki is now Clanning.
8/7/01 8:15:04p Tenebrion asks, "Departing is only one way of making
that move isn't it?"
8/7/01 8:15:06p K'Pyn asks, "Well, you don't consider a depart a move?"
8/7/01 8:15:10p Natas says, "Well, most have been either departing or
exiting via the tower"
8/7/01 8:15:10p K'Pyn says, "ah"
8/7/01 8:15:17p K'Pyn says, "indeed only one way"
8/7/01 8:15:26p Yor asks, "so departing is bad?"
8/7/01 8:15:29p Tenebrion says, "The tower is private property."
8/7/01 8:15:42p Tenebrion says, "You people do not seem to respect that
notion."
8/7/01 8:15:32p Achates asks, "What about moving from within the
Ethereal Tower... does that also entail consequences?"
8/7/01 8:15:34p Yor asks, "Does departing from the Ethereal Tower hurt
purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:15:34p J'jh asks, "departing, pendanting and portal?"
8/7/01 8:15:39p Achates says, "ahh"
8/7/01 8:15:52p Yor asks, "whose tower?"
8/7/01 8:16:00p Natas says, "I saw no signs"
8/7/01 8:16:05p Tenebrion says, "It belongs to me and my brothers."
8/7/01 8:16:06p Demian chirps in Sylvan.
8/7/01 8:16:24p Tenebrion asks, "So if I put up a sign you will respect
it?"
8/7/01 8:16:31p Yor says, "but, it's the only way out without damaging
the Ethereal Plane...."
8/7/01 8:16:33p Natas says, "probably not"
8/7/01 8:16:35p J'jh says, "yes, and we want it, it's a great way to
travel"
8/7/01 8:16:54p Achates says, "Then do you claim the Ethereal Plane as
your realm? Your family's zodiac rings seem to claim certain snells..."
8/7/01 8:16:59p Tenebrion says, "There are many ways to leave the
Ethereal Plane without going to Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:17:12p (Yor shrugs.)
8/7/01 8:17:12p Tenebrion says, "No, I do not lay claim to the plane."
8/7/01 8:17:19p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:17:21p Tenebrion says, "I lay claim to our tower."
8/7/01 8:17:28p K'Pyn asks, "but you put property there?"
8/7/01 8:17:29p Achates asks, "Just the tower which your family
constructed?"
8/7/01 8:17:36p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:17:41p K'Pyn asks, "that's kinda weird isn't it?"
8/7/01 8:17:46p Natas says, "well I lay claim to the plane so your
tower is on private property"
8/7/01 8:17:52p K'Pyn asks, "Like puttin' a house on a freeway?"
8/7/01 8:17:53p (Yor laughs.)
8/7/01 8:17:53p Demian ponders, "feh"
8/7/01 8:17:56p (Achates chuckles.)
8/7/01 8:18:00p K'Pyn exclaims, "hehe!"
8/7/01 8:18:17p Yor asks, "why are some of the mirrors in the tower not
functional?"
8/7/01 8:18:33p Tenebrion says, "There are no mirrors in our tower."
8/7/01 8:18:35p (Demian mutters something obscene in Ilsardinish
referencing the Ethereal Plain.)
8/7/01 8:18:40p Yor says, "umm"
8/7/01 8:18:45p Achates says, "I can respect that since you constructed
it ... it is yours ... but can we reach some agreement on access? It is
very useful to us"
8/7/01 8:18:45p K'Pyn asks, "there aren't?"
8/7/01 8:18:46p Yor says, "ok portals"
8/7/01 8:18:47p Natas says, "the portals"
8/7/01 8:18:47p Demian ponders, "Lilly..."
8/7/01 8:18:54p K'Pyn says, "oh portals"
8/7/01 8:19:01p Achates asks, "or only portals should we use?"
8/7/01 8:19:05p Yor asks, "why are some of the portals in the tower not
functional?"
8/7/01 8:19:20p Tenebrion says, "They all function perfectly. I use all
of them on a daily basis."
8/7/01 8:19:25p Achates asks, "Better question, are the portals
functional to you?"
8/7/01 8:19:29p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:19:45p Yor asks, "why can we only go through three of them?"
8/7/01 8:19:49p Natas says, "why is it that exiles are rejected by some
of these portals?"
8/7/01 8:19:56p Tenebrion says, "You should not go through any of
them."
8/7/01 8:20:04p J'jh asks, "why not?"
8/7/01 8:20:06p K'Pyn asks, "Tenebrion, what problem do you have with
exiles using your structure as a way station?"
8/7/01 8:20:15p Tenebrion says, "As I say, the tower is private
property."
8/7/01 8:20:19p (K'Pyn shrugs.)
8/7/01 8:20:21p J'jh asks, "so?"
8/7/01 8:20:28p K'Pyn says, "yes, but we're not likely to damage it"
8/7/01 8:20:30p Yor asks, "Are you saying you travel to the Abyss?"
8/7/01 8:20:37p Achates says, "We have a problem though Tenebrion..."
8/7/01 8:20:39p Tenebrion says, "I am not yet convinced you are not a
threat."
8/7/01 8:20:45p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:20:48p J'jh asks, "a threat to what?"
8/7/01 8:20:48p (Demian watches the conversation go in circles...)
8/7/01 8:20:55p Tenebrion says, "To me, of course."
8/7/01 8:21:05p Achates says, "if we portal to Ethereal Plane... then
open a portal there to go back it goes to Purgatory..."
8/7/01 8:21:19p Achates asks, "That is bad, correct? Any movement to
Purgatory and Ethereal Plane is bad, yes?"
8/7/01 8:21:21p J'jh asks, "you with your powers are afraid of this
poor bunch?"
8/7/01 8:21:25p Tenebrion says, "That can't be good for Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:21:31p Achates says, "Aye"
8/7/01 8:21:40p Yor asks, "Are you saying you travel to the Abyss
through that portal outside the tower?"
8/7/01 8:21:41p Achates says, "Your tower is our only way to not
combine the two realms"
8/7/01 8:21:46p Natas says, "so our solution is to use your portals"
8/7/01 8:21:55p Natas says, "until we can find another way"

Tenebrion's Offer

8/7/01 8:21:58p Tenebrion says, "I offered you another solution."
8/7/01 8:22:11p Achates asks, "the 10 Ethereal Stone offer?"
8/7/01 8:22:11p K'Pyn asks, "oh?"
8/7/01 8:22:13p Natas says, "departin' isn't a solution for me"
8/7/01 8:22:20p Tenebrion says, "I have spoken with my brothers."
8/7/01 8:22:32p K'Pyn ponders, "what offer, dangit!?!"
8/7/01 8:22:36p Tenebrion says, "We are willing to be more reasonable."
8/7/01 8:22:37p Achates says, "I suspect they are not too happy with
you and your chaotic experiment"
8/7/01 8:23:01p K'Pyn exclaims, "!"
8/7/01 8:23:06p Yor asks, "more reasonable?"
8/7/01 8:23:09p K'Pyn exclaims, "sounds great to me!"
8/7/01 8:23:16p J'jh exclaims, "look what the cat brought in!"
8/7/01 8:23:17p (Malkor smiles.)
8/7/01 8:23:19p Demian chirps in the Sylvan language.
8/7/01 8:23:22p Tenebrion says, "K'pyn, I have offered to build you a
permanent two-way portal from your town to the Ethereal Plane."
8/7/01 8:23:23p (Malkor winks at J'jh.)
8/7/01 8:23:31p Natas says, "and back?"
8/7/01 8:23:37p K'Pyn says, "sounds quite good to me"
8/7/01 8:23:45p Tenebrion says, "Yes, and back. Two-way."
8/7/01 8:23:47p K'Pyn asks, "at what cost?"
8/7/01 8:23:49p (Demian chuckles.)
8/7/01 8:24:10p Tenebrion says, "My original offer was for 50
teleportation stones."
8/7/01 8:24:10p J'jh says, "but you can do some math Tenebrion"
8/7/01 8:24:16p K'Pyn exclaims, "ouch!"
8/7/01 8:24:17p Achates says, "Ahh"
8/7/01 8:24:26p (K'Pyn shudders.)
8/7/01 8:24:28p Tenebrion says, "I have discussed the terms with my
brothers."
8/7/01 8:24:34p Natas asks, "have you considered the offer of 10?"
8/7/01 8:24:45p Tenebrion says, "If you agree to some simple
conditions, we will lower that substantially."
8/7/01 8:24:47p J'jh says, "by the time we gather 50 stones nobody will
be interested anymore in the Ethereal Plane..."
8/7/01 8:24:59p Malkor ponders, "Conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:00p Yor asks, "what conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:12p K'Pyn asks, "oh dear Tenebrion, don't you have enough
of us 'agreeing' on terms?"
8/7/01 8:25:14p Tenebrion says, "That you respect that the tower and
our keeps are private."
8/7/01 8:25:17p Achates ponders, "I will be interested in a two-way
portal indefinitely"
8/7/01 8:25:38p Malkor ponders, "Does he have anyway of enforcing his
conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:40p Tenebrion says, "If you agree to that we will make you
such a portal for a single teleportation stone each."
8/7/01 8:25:47p Natas says, "we cannot gurantee that, and you of all
should know it"
8/7/01 8:25:57p K'Pyn asks, "each?"
8/7/01 8:25:58p J'jh says, "ah"
8/7/01 8:26:04p Natas says, "we do not have control over every exile"
8/7/01 8:26:08p K'Pyn asks, "meaning one for each brother?"
8/7/01 8:26:42p Tenebrion says, "I will accept the word of those who
agree. People who break the conditions will be noted and dealt with
separately."
8/7/01 8:26:48p K'Pyn says, "aahhh"
8/7/01 8:26:51p Yor says, "Can we give the traitor Malkor to you
instead? After all he did steal a sword from you."
8/7/01 8:26:53p Natas says, "sounds good to me"
8/7/01 8:26:54p Achates says, "I see"
8/7/01 8:26:55p (Tenebrion laughs.)
8/7/01 8:26:58p (K'Pyn snickers playfully.)
8/7/01 8:27:06p (Demian glances at Malkor)
8/7/01 8:27:09p Tenebrion says, "If he has six stones in his pockets."
8/7/01 8:27:09p Natas says, "let's do that anyway..."
8/7/01 8:27:13p (Yor laughs.)
8/7/01 8:27:17p J'jh says, "he still owes me 5000 coins"
8/7/01 8:27:25p K'Pyn says, "I'll certainly agree that your keep and
that tower are private"
8/7/01 8:27:48p Yor asks, "so 6 stones and stay away from tower?"
8/7/01 8:27:50p K'Pyn asks, "does that mean if my fellow exiles don't
abide by that I'm not allowed to help them?"
8/7/01 8:27:52p Tenebrion says, "Yes."
8/7/01 8:28:05p K'Pyn ponders, "yes to me or to Yor?"
8/7/01 8:28:21p Tenebrion says, "Yes, K'pyn. You either agree not to
enter the tower or you do not."
8/7/01 8:28:37p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:28:45p (K'Pyn looks thoughtful.)
8/7/01 8:29:04p K'Pyn says, "That's a tough promise to make sir."
8/7/01 8:29:10p (K'Pyn frowns.)
8/7/01 8:29:58p K'Pyn asks, "well, how do we go about this, Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:30:15p Tenebrion says, "You bring me six stones and we will
build the portal."
8/7/01 8:30:16p Achates asks, "gather the 6 stones and stay away from
the towers...?"
8/7/01 8:30:17p K'Pyn says, "We have to invade your keep just to get
the stones you want..."
8/7/01 8:30:27p Tenebrion asks, "You do?"
8/7/01 8:30:31p Achates says, "no, we have to invade the orga camps...
I believe"
8/7/01 8:30:33p K'Pyn ponders, "erm"
8/7/01 8:30:33p Natas says, "he wants the stones from orga camp, K'pyn"
8/7/01 8:30:38p K'Pyn says, "ahhh"
8/7/01 8:30:41p K'Pyn ponders, "oops"
8/7/01 8:30:51p Achates says, "gather the 6 stones and stay away from
the towers... seems simple enough"
8/7/01 8:30:55p K'Pyn says, "uh, ignore the previous comment"
8/7/01 8:30:56p Yor asks, "will you trade a phantasmonicon for a
purgatory pendant?"
8/7/01 8:31:10p Tenebrion says, "I might consider that Yor."
8/7/01 8:31:16p Yor says, "ok =)"
8/7/01 8:31:17p Achates exclaims, "Interesting!"
8/7/01 8:31:19p Yor says, "graha"
8/7/01 8:31:43p Achates asks, "May, we inquire regarding your other
brothers' names? Or is that information strictly classified?"
8/7/01 8:32:00p Tenebrion says, "I have mentioned them previously"
8/7/01 8:32:18p Tenebrion says, "They prefer to remain out of your way
for now."
8/7/01 8:32:34p Achates says, "Yes, I suspected as much with their
magic rejecting us"

Tenebrion Doesn't Know Umbrion's Landlord

8/7/01 8:32:40p J'jh asks, "do you know who Kizmia is?"
8/7/01 8:32:52p Tenebrion says, "I have never heard of Kizmia."
8/7/01 8:32:57p Yor asks, "They have islands in the Lok'Groton Island,
chain Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:32:59p J'jh says, "funny"
8/7/01 8:33:02p Tenebrion asks, "She is from your town?"
8/7/01 8:33:12p K'Pyn says, "hrm.. she claims Umbrion's island"
8/7/01 8:33:17p (K'Pyn smirks.)
8/7/01 8:33:23p Achates says, "or her children claim it"
8/7/01 8:33:23p J'jh says, "your brother's castle is on Kizmia's
island"
8/7/01 8:33:26p Tenebrion says, "Umbrion does not have an island."
8/7/01 8:33:33p Tenebrion says, "I see."
8/7/01 8:33:34p K'Pyn says, "uh"
8/7/01 8:33:36p Achates asks, "its merely an illusion?"
8/7/01 8:33:44p Yor asks, "Your brothers live on islands in the
Lok'Groton Island chain Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:33:48p Tenebrion says, "She has made no claim on Umbrion's
keep."
8/7/01 8:33:50p Thalion is no longer Clanning.
8/7/01 8:33:58p J'jh says, "she will"
8/7/01 8:34:34p Tenebrion says, "My brothers guard their locations very
jealously."
8/7/01 8:34:34p Tenebrion says, "They are in no great rush to expose
themselves."
8/7/01 8:34:34p K'Pyn says, "just as you and Umbrion once did"
8/7/01 8:34:34p Achates says, "As many exiles do here"
8/7/01 8:34:38p (Yor nods.)
8/7/01 8:34:53p Achates says, "Especially with us failing the Exile
Planewalking Experiment"
8/7/01 8:34:57p J'jh ponders, "doesn't know Kizmia? how can that be?"

Tenebrion is a Bookish Sort

8/7/01 8:35:13p Yor asks, "Tenebrion, would you like to join us
sometime when we obtain a teleport stone from the orga?"
8/7/01 8:35:22p Tenebrion asks, "To join you?"
8/7/01 8:35:24p K'Pyn asks, "so what's the possiblity of ever getting 6
stones AND getting exiles to offer them?"
8/7/01 8:35:27p Achates says, "Yes"
8/7/01 8:35:30p Yor says, "yes"
8/7/01 8:35:35p Tenebrion asks, "In what manner?"
8/7/01 8:35:39p Achates says, "There is a powerful magician that
protects them"
8/7/01 8:35:41p Yor says, "fight alongside us"
8/7/01 8:35:47p Yor says, "and observe"
8/7/01 8:35:49p Tenebrion asks, "Physical combat?"
8/7/01 8:35:52p (K'Pyn laughs.)
8/7/01 8:35:54p J'jh says, "so you know what it takes to get such a
stone?"
8/7/01 8:36:01p Yor says, "ok just observe"
8/7/01 8:36:14p Yor asks, "so would you?"
8/7/01 8:36:17p Tenebrion says, "it sounds very much like putting
myself in harm's way."
8/7/01 8:36:23p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:36:31p Yor says, "we would protect you"
8/7/01 8:36:33p Tenebrion says, "I have lived a long life by avoiding
those situations."
8/7/01 8:36:42p Yor says, "ummm, ok"
8/7/01 8:36:45p Natas says, "that does not sound like living to me"
8/7/01 8:36:52p (J'jh laughs)
8/7/01 8:36:54p Yor ponders, "he's definitely not a Zo"
8/7/01 8:36:58p Demian thinks to you, "You forget he doesn't have the
luxury of Purgatory to fall back on."
8/7/01 8:36:59p K'Pyn says, "well, clearly Tenebrion's not much of a
fighter"
8/7/01 8:37:21p Tenebrion says, "I prefer a good book."
8/7/01 8:37:35p K'Pyn says, "bah, books are for mystics"
8/7/01 8:37:47p K'Pyn asks, "you call yourself a mystic then?"
8/7/01 8:37:57p Tenebrion says, "I am a scholar of sorts."
8/7/01 8:38:01p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:38:04p Tenebrion says, "I don't really call myself anything."
8/7/01 8:38:13p K'Pyn says, "Very well"
8/7/01 8:38:51p K'Pyn asks, "so the question remains... how is it
possible to gather and deliver 6 of those stones?"
8/7/01 8:39:08p Tenebrion says, "That sounds a great deal like it is
not
my problem."
8/7/01 8:39:31p Yor says, "Well, we'll get the word out anyways"
8/7/01 8:39:32p Demian thinks to you, "This looks like a task for your
LIFE group."
8/7/01 8:39:36p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:39:36p Achates asks, "I am curious as to your existence...
Have you perished from the Physical Plane? Do you only materialize here
as a ghost to us?"
8/7/01 8:39:39p Tenebrion says, "A portal such as we are offering is a
great deal of investment on our part."
8/7/01 8:39:54p J'jh says, "any deal that involves mystics will not
work..."
8/7/01 8:39:54p Tenebrion says, "I very much live on the physical
plane."
8/7/01 8:39:59p Achates says, "Ahh ok"
8/7/01 8:40:03p K'Pyn ponders, "looks physical to me"
8/7/01 8:40:11p (Tenebrion knocks on the table.)
8/7/01 8:40:12p Achates asks, "Are there 6 layers to the Physical
Plane?"
8/7/01 8:40:16p (Natas pokes Tenebrion with a stick)
8/7/01 8:40:21p Natas says, "yep, he's there"
8/7/01 8:40:21p K'Pyn exclaims, "!"
8/7/01 8:40:37p (Achates acknowledges the solidity.)
8/7/01 8:40:38p Tenebrion says, "It depends on the worldview to which
you subscribe."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Sunstone giving out on you?

Take it to Raldin for professional tuning services... only 500c a
level.

Raldin's Sunstone Tuning Service

Reach out and sunstone someone

#####
ASK THE THOOM
"Dubious advice from a fish-like being"

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

"Someone is stealing all my fish! What do I do?

- Angry Zo

A: Dear Angry Zo,

Store your leftovers in your throatsac.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"How to Grab Feet" by Super Chicken
"I Couldn't Believe I Was Unable to Open My Own Gate" by Wisher the
Thoom
"Someday, I'll Be Back, and Then You'll All Be Sorry" by Tarf the Dwarf
"Savage May Be My Long-Lost Relative" by Rael the Squonk

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

Fish he got a hook in his throat
Fish he got problems

- Genesis

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Override! Where's the override?!?"

Issue #42: "The Ethereal Plane"
[July 30, 2001]
Circulation: 164

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Tenebrion talks (a lot)
Merlisk and Snow reproduce
Papa Thoom takes the lead
Guide for Newly-exiled Fen'neko

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Bavmorda the Thoom is now a fourth circle healer

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* A good old-fashioned 'Noids rescue
* Orga and Darshak invade
* Increased interest in the Ethereal Plane
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Magi in McBolie Cavern
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_277_20_32 on 7 Autumn, 542 at 21:23..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Gurgi of not training me in defense after
taking a bribe...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 266 minutes in jail, 2068c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_281_17_56 on 11 Autumn, 542 at 18:59..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Malkor of keeping him from being
raised at the Arena..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_289_19_51 on 19 Autumn, 542 at 20:42..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Stormraven of committing a fashion no-
no..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 804 minutes in jail, 6339c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_298_15_26 on 28 Autumn, 542 at 16:27..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Gurgi of cursing me repeatedly..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 295 minutes in jail, 2743c
fine and 0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 31, 542, with 1386 eligible
voters:
#199: Are you currently sharing with a mystic?
27 (53%): Yes
19 (37%): No
3 (6%): None of the above
2 (4%): Abstain

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

I just got back from cod fishing, and I'm still cleaning up my fishing
gear.

The witches of Puddleby have asked if they could write headlines for
this issue of Fishwrap, so I've agreed to let them have a stab at it,
so to speak.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
"Doom for Puddleby Imminent"

FEATURE INTERVIEW
WANGAH RAH SPEAKS SPEAKS TO TENEBRION

Please send any comments to wangahrah@.... Your feedback is
important to me. Special thanks to Paramedic for printing this in
Fishwrap on such short notice.

Wangah Rah: "Hail, Tenebrion. I've heard much about you and your
experiments, and they intrigue me very much. Perhaps you could tell me
a bit about them?"

Tenebrion: "The paths from the Ethereal Plane and your Purgatory are
growing stronger. Each time someone makes that trip the path becomes
more defined. Have you, or your scholars, noticed any recent
disturbances in Purgatory? It is no danger for me. I thought you might
be interested however."

Wangah Rah: "I have been studying for a bit...the latest was with some
clouds of ether which I believe you are aware of. Is this one of the
dangers posed?"

Tenebrion: "Storms of ether could be one manifestation."

Wangah Rah: "Many people blamed that occurence on you. Does that have
any truth to it? I've heard that you experiment with the Ethereal Plane
much...does that have the same effect?"

Tenebrion: "A storm seems to be brewing. It could strike any day now. I
have been using the Ethereal Plane carefully for centuries. I know how
not to create disturbances there."

Wangah Rah: "Would you be able to teach us? And need the exiles be
warned? What is to be expected in this storm?"

Tenebrion: "Warn your townsfolk of the impending storm and let them
know of the dangers in traveling from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "What kind of storm? What can be expected? And would you be
able to help us, prepare us, or have anything that would make us more
ready?"

Tenebrion: "Tell your scholars to watch for happenings in Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "Is a rift opening between the Ethereal Plane and
Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "It could happen if the path were traveled often enough.
That would introduce a grave danger to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "Indeed it would. Would there be danger to the real world,
or to exiles who don't go to Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "The initial danger would be in Purgatory. However, the
danger would flow to your world from there."

Wangah Rah thinks, "I'm talking to Tenebrion. He is telling me that
there is grave danger, a storm is approaching that may hit anytime. He
warns of the dangers of travelling from the Ethereal Plane to
Purgatory, and that a rift is already opening, and could pose grave
danger to Purgatory. After that, it could worsen and danger would flow
to our world. I'm told this is very important, and we need to watch
purgatory very carefully and watch and prepare for an impending storm"

Tenebrion: "A flow of ether into Purgatory could condense as clouds."

Wangah Rah: "Aye, that would explain the clouds of ether. But that was
in our world, not Purgatory...did they flow from Purgatory to here?"

Tenebrion: "They do not leave traces. It could have come that way."

Wangah Rah: "Have there been any sightings of clouds of ether in
Purgatory?"

Aerick thinks, "I haven't [seen any clouds of ether in Purgatory] Not a
one (1)"

Wangah Rah: "That's very interesting. You say there is no danger to you
because you know how to safely travel there, correct?"

Tenebrion: "That and I never go to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "But if exiles travel, and open the rift even more, and
danger flows to this world, how will even you remain safe?"

Tenebrion: "Should it grow that bad I have a refuge I could use."

Wangah Rah: "That seems extreme; a worst case scenario. Have you any
way of helping us? Tools, information, perhaps an alternate way of
doing things?"

Tenebrion: "I would hope my warnings were of some help. The rest will
depend upon the actions of your people."

Wangah Rah: "What would you recommend? No more visits to Ethereal
Plane? Be more cautious with it? Everything could help, because if it
worsens even you could be in danger"

Tenebrion: "Every time the Ethereal Sword is collected and people leave
the inner circle to Purgatory the path becomes more defined."

Wangah Rah: "How can we leave Ethereal Plane without going to
Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "There are several other ways to leave the plane. I must
return to an experiment now. I will attempt to warn you once more as
the storm grows."

#####

"Exiles march to their deaths in Ethereal Plane; witches rejoice"

A CONVERSATION WITH TENEBRION
FROM RIEGER

Location: Tenebrion's "Audience Chamber" on the ground floor of his
Keep.

Date: Sombdi, day 28 of Autumn, 542 (aka July 28th, 2001)

Comments: A small group led by Gurgi and Natas find Tenebrion in his
Audience Chamber as they prepare to collect the remaining crystal
pieces to allow another visit to the Ethereal Plane via the Zodiac
Maze.

This piece has been edited slightly for Fishwrap publication.

  Tenebrion  Greetings
  Rieger     Greetings
  Tenebrion  There is a storm brewing.
  Rieger     oh?
  Suu'ub III :0
  Asmodean   What kind of storm?
  Tenebrion  Recent travellers on the Ethereal Plane have opened a path
to your Purgatory.
  Gurgi      I've noticed your Zodiac symbols are no longer very
reliable.
  Rieger     oh!
  Rieger     that can't be good
  Tenebrion  Every time that path is used the path becomes more clearly
defined.
  Gurgi      Weren't there many paths to Purgatory set up by your zodiac
rooms before anyways?
  Rieger     a two-way path?
  Tenebrion  Ether is leaking into Purgatory.
  Tenebrion  They were never used, Gurgi.
  Gimli      A path to our Purgatory from where?
  Rieger     Ethereal Plane.
  Tenebrion  From the Ethereal Plane.
  Gurgi      Well, can you make a portal from Ethereal Plane to this
place directly?
  Rieger     Departing might not be very fun soon.
  Tenebrion  It does not matter to me.
  Tenebrion  You often tell me how inportant Purgatory is to your
people.
  Rieger     nods vigorously
  Tenebrion  Of course I can Gurgi. I use one such myself.
  Gimli      So, creatures from the Ethereal Plane may be in purgatory
soon?
  Rieger     that's my inference
  Tenebrion  There is that danger Gimli.
  Suu'ub III That means they can surely gain access to Puddleby.
  Gimli      What can we do to avoid that danger?
  Rieger     You have a suggestion to turn this around?
  Rieger     heh
  Tenebrion  Avoid moving from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory.
  Rieger     Ah good idea
  Tenebrion  Quite a simple solution really.
  Rieger     By not going to Ethereal Plane?
  Mac        How do we leave the Ethereal Plane if not though Purgatory?
  Gimli      Will things return to normal if we avoid that?
  Natas      Is there another way out of the Ethereal Plane?
  Tenebrion  There are thousands of ways out that do not require leaving
to Purgatory.
  Rieger     Ah it's only departing from the Ethereal Plane that is a
problem?
  Mac        For example??
  Natas      Want to clue us in on one?
  Gurgi      Actually, I know of how to leave without going through
Purgatory.
  Tenebrion  I do not know if departing from there would count.
  Gurgi      There are other exits
  Natas      That isn't an option in my book
  Rieger     So there are ways from Ethereal Plane directly to our
plane?
  Tenebrion  It is the physical journey which defines the path.
  Tenebrion  There are, Rieger.
  Tenebrion  And back again.
  Rieger     ah
  Mac        For example?
  Tenebrion  You should ask your scholars to build a portal to and from
your town.
  Mac        chuckles
  Mac        We have no scholars of portals.
  Tenebrion  I have offered to build such a portal myself for you.
  Tenebrion  The price was considered unreasonable.
  Mac        We have access to a portal system near our town, but we do
not have the knowledge to use them.
  Gimli      Ah, what was the price?
  Tenebrion  50 of the teleportation stones.
  Rieger     Eep
  Natas      Make it one and you got a deal.
  Tenebrion  laughs.
  Rieger     How about busted ones?
  Tenebrion  For one I will trade an Ethereal Portal stone.
  Gimli      50 stones will not be gathered quickly
  Tenebrion  I could offer you a busted portal for 50 busted
teleportation stones.
  Rieger     chuckles
  Tenebrion  I might be willing to do that for 10.
  Tenebrion  shrugs
  Mac        Your portals bust?
  Tenebrion  The permanent ones do not.
  Mac        You indicated that they do
  Rieger     Quick let's go get 50 teleportation stones
  Tenebrion  The portal stones have a limited use.
  Rieger     How about 10 teleport stones?
  Tenebrion  A small portal for that price.
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] The teleport stone are the ones we got on a
FMOCR?
  Tenebrion  A fifth of the size.
  Rieger     10 we might be able to do. We'll be old and dead before we
get 50
  Rieger     [Thinks to Gimli] yeah
  Rieger     Would one a fifth the size work?
  Tenebrion  For beings smaller in size than you, my stout friend.
  Mac        hehe
  Rieger     Great, a rat portal.
  Gimli      chuckles.
  Natas      Let's flood the Ethereal Plane with our rats!
  Mac        heh
  Rieger     Even if we wanted to get you 50, it would take us many,
many years
  Tenebrion  In the interests of full disclosure, it would be a two-way
portal.
  Mac        Sounds good
  Gimli      If we give you ten, could we get a larger one later after
we gather more stones?
  Mac        At the very least it would take 4 years to collect 50
stones.
  Rieger     Yeah and prolly twice that long
  Tenebrion  That is all?
  Rieger     smiles
  Rieger     Isn't the danger more imminent than that?
  Tenebrion  Your youth gives you a weird perception of a long time.
  Gimli      nods
  Rieger     true
  Rieger     However, all our kind has the same limited perception
generally.
  Rieger     Thus it would be hard to get people to commit 4 years to
this
  Gimli      So, could we get a small one for ten and then a larger one
for 40 more stones?
  Tenebrion  You would consider meeting a price of ten stones?
  Rieger     If it's 50 or nothing I suspect we would not be able to
"rally the troops"
  Mac        For a full portal perhaps
  Natas      Sounds far more reasonable
  Rieger     Yes
  Rieger     Sounds more reasonable
  Tenebrion  A full portal for ten teleportation stones?
  Rieger     and even "doable"
  Rieger     uh, who needs to decide this?
  Mac        That would be a number that we could meet, yes
  Gurgi      fighters come
  Gurgi and others leave to join the fighting.
  Tenebrion  I would consider that. I will look at the costs and tell
you of my decision.
  Rieger     I believe we could meet that price though
  Rieger     good
  Rieger     any sense of how bad the "rift" is already?
  Tenebrion  There is no rift.
  Rieger     leak
  Gimli      Good!
  Tenebrion  Merely a path which is becoming more defined.
  Rieger     ah
  Rieger     Can things get through now?
  Mac        Wouldn't the increased Ether here benefit you?
  Tenebrion  It is not "things" getting through that you should be
worried about.
  Rieger     [whispers] how the hell we going to get 10 stones?
  Natas      what should we be worried about?
  Rieger     what then?
  Tenebrion  Ether only rarely condenses.
  Gimli      Ah, what should we be worried about?
  Mac        Naturally you mean?
  Tenebrion  A path might serve to funnel ether from its proper place in
the cosmos.
  Rieger     Could it damage our Purgatory?
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] Should take about 20 FMOCR to get them.
  Tenebrion  Concentrations of Ether not on the Ethereal Plane could
be....
  Tenebrion  unpredictable.
  Mac        Need help in courtyard
  Rieger     Sorry to be blunt, but why do we care if Ether isn't in its
right place?
  Tenebrion  I don't.
  Rieger     No, no, why should WE care?
  Tenebrion  Your town seems very concerned with Purgatory.
  Rieger     Gotcha
  Tenebrion  Concentrations of ether in Purgatory might be less than
desirable.
  Tenebrion  You have seen the small clouds?
  Gimli      Yes
  Rieger     nods
  Tenebrion  What use would Purgatory be to you with a full storm raging
in there?
  Rieger     Ah, those in Purgatory would not be good
  Natas      need axes
  Rieger     uh huh
  Gimli      be right back
  More people leave to join the fighting.
  Tenebrion  Not a strong concern of mine.
  Rieger     what is?
  Tenebrion  Your people often express interest in these matters.
  Rieger     You have expressed a strong interest in Purgatory yourself
  Tenebrion  Never in the place. Only the means by which you travel
there.
  Rieger     ah
  Natas returns.
  Natas      Want to call off your guards while we negotiate here?
  Rieger     Teleportation stones are new to you?
  Tenebrion  We are negotiating?
  Natas      I hate to slaughter them all
  Tenebrion  I was meditating.
  Rieger     Mediating? between who?
  Natas      Ahh well I was thinkin' of your guards well-being
  Tenebrion  Meditating.
  Rieger     Thought we was "dealing"
  Rieger     Thanks for being open to a more reasonable price by the way
  Gurgi returns.
  Gurgi      Damn, your guards are sooo annoying
  Tenebrion  I will not promise that price.
  Sushi enters the room for the first time.
  Sushi      Someone killed one of my rats nabbit
  Rieger     understood
  Tenebrion  They don't annoy me.
  Rieger     We can't promise we can even get 10
  Natas      They won't be annoyin' ANYONE anymore
  Tenebrion  They are replaceable.
  Gurgi      Why bother?
  Tenebrion  I pay their town for a certain number. If that number is
not present, they send more.
  Sushi      What/who is replacable?
  Gurgi      Just stop replacing them and everyone all round will be
less annoyed
  Sushi      Who are you?
  Tenebrion  They provide a measure of physical security for me.
  Falinus    Tenebrion, you do not care for them and you do not care we
are here, why pay for something you do not need?
  Gurgi      Tenebrion, will you give me one of the Ethereal Portal
Stones in return for a Soul Sword?
  Rieger     Keeps the riff raff away maybe
  Tenebrion  There are other dangers besides yourselves.
  Sushi      Anyone know who this guy is?
  Rieger     yes
  Natas      call him big T he likes that
  Tenebrion  For a Sword of Souls?
  Gurgi      yes
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] I guess we should tell the mystic guild
about his request for portal stones
  Rieger     He's got a lengthy history with town
  Tenebrion  I have instructed some Sarirs to trade with you.
  Sushi      Soulsword is a friend of mine. Do you know her?
  Rieger     [Thinks to Gimli] yeah they'll love this
  Gurgi      Ya, but they are dumb
  Tenebrion  You can find them in a room south and east of here.
  Gurgi      They only trade certain things
  Tenebrion  They are dumb.
  Tenebrion  I do not make them for intelligence.
  Gurgi      right
  Gurgi      So that's why I want to make this trade with you
  Tenebrion  I have one, thank you.
  Gurgi      They don't know how to make custom trades
  Rieger     you think the mystics will give up the next 10 stones?
might be a very tough sell :-/
  Tenebrion shows his Sword of Souls to everyone.
  Gurgi      You will then have more to trade for Purgatory Pendants
  Tenebrion  I have been making them once per month. I have a small
supply at the ready.
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] Aye, but a portal would interest them I
think.
  Rieger     Tenebrion, if it can't be stones, what else could we trade
for a portal?
  Sushi      Why are you showing us a sword with a trapped and captured
and tortured soul inside it?
  Gurgi      I'm not satisfied with mine.
  Gurgi      Wanna know why?
  Tenebrion  The teleportation stones are what interest me the most at
the moment.
  Natas      Because it's an inferior weapon?
  Gimli      Do the swords have any effect on the planes?
  Gurgi      I could make a better weapon from a tin can
  Rieger     chuckles
  Sushi      I don't think tortured souls are anything to advertise.
  Tenebrion  I find mine useful when traveling on certain planes.
  Rieger     ah
  Tenebrion  Tortured isn't a word I would use.
  Natas      Sounds like a sales pitch to me.
  Gimli      Is there a cost to using a Soul Sword?
  Tenebrion  I suppose it depends on one's point of view.
  Sushi      Oh great..we have to capture and torture souls to go
someplace?
  Gurgi      So, Tenebrion I'd like to trade my Sword of Souls in, that
you say is so awesome, for a Ethereal Portal stone
  Tenebrion  Not to the person who wields one.
  Gurgi      sounds like a great deal from your perspective
  Gurgi      since you think it's such a great weapon
  Tenebrion  As I mentioned, I have a good supply of the swords.
  Sushi      Where did you get the souls?
  Gurgi      If you had one more it would be an even better supply
  Falinus    Tenebrion, will the Sword of Souls cause any indirect
damage to our plane?
  Gurgi      ok whatever
  Gurgi      I can see you're wasting my time
  Rieger     Any news about your brother?
  Tenebrion  Each being they dispatch adds to the pool of souls.
  Gurgi      Let's go finish the quest
  Tenebrion  Which brother?
  Rieger     Umbrion
  Tenebrion  I have five.
  Rieger     The one with the nearby island
  Sushi      ponders this
  Gimli      Do you have any sisters?
  Tenebrion  Umbrion is still working on maintaining the spells of
illusion. He does not believe they have failed.
  Rieger     and where is the "pool of souls"?
  Tenebrion  No sisters.
  Tenebrion  That is a matter of some debate, Rieger.
  Rieger     He doesn't believe they have failed? people stomp on that
             island every day nowadays
  Gimli      Are any of your other brothers nearby?
  Tenebrion  Distance is such a relative thing isn't it?
  Gimli      As is time. :)
  Rieger     You have a theory about the soul pool?
  Tenebrion  A theory, certainly. No proof.
  Rieger     Ya think the swords affect the wielder?
  Gimli      I would like to hear your theory
  Sushi      Can you give us any assurance that only the souls of of
evil beings are captured and used in these 'Soul Swords'?
  Tenebrion  It strengthens the user.
  Tenebrion  Good and evil are slippery concepts.
  Rieger     besides the direct effect of being a weapon
  Natas      Wait.
  Sushi      So it seems as I listen to you
  Sushi      Slippery is a very good word
  Rieger     You have any contact with our empire across the seas?
  Tenebrion  Mortal empires are transitory and boring things.
  Rieger     The Ascendancy doesn't interest you in any way?
  Sushi      Souls can live in purgatory forever.
  Tenebrion  They can?
  Sushi      Where are the souls within these swords?
  Tenebrion  That sounds time-consuming to prove.
  Rieger     You willing to share your soul pool theory?
  The door is securely locked.
  Natas      We are ready to start our quest thingy
  Sushi      They cry out in pain when we use them!!!
  Tenebrion  Perhaps another day. I am late.
  Mac        Tenebrion, why is this door locked now?
  Tenebrion  Pain or pleasure?
  Mac        It was open just a moment ago
  Tenebrion  It always remains locked.
  Mac        No, I ran though it myself
  Natas      Wasn't just a few minutes ago
  Tenebrion  Someone must have a key.
  Rieger     Late? You sound impatient ;-)
  Gurgi      key?
  The door is securely locked.
  Gurgi      eh
  Gurgi      that door was just open
  Tenebrion  I wish you well in your adventures. Do call again.
  Gurgi      What happened?
  Rieger     Thanks you can count on that
  The door is securely locked.
  Gurgi      It was open before!
  Natas      [loudly] be well big T
  Tenebrion exits out a door to the north.
  Gurgi      Damn it.
  Rieger     Well, that was sorta interesting
  Gimli      Well, that was interesting

  Hours later virtually everyone departs from the Ethereal Plane.

Thanks to Rieger for contributing this transcript.

The unedited version can be found here:

http://faircraft.com/rieger/tenebrion_conv.html

#####
"Breeding Experiment Conducted"

NEWS FROM THE THOOM MAILING LIST

Thoom all,

I'm sure Merlisk is so busy that he hasn't had a chance to send this
out himself. He's a daddy! Snow gave birth to a new exile, named
Merlowe. Amazingly enough, Merlowe is already walking and talking, even
though she's only a couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
investigating how this might have happened.

Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully all Thooms
will do their best to make her feel like a full member of the Puddleby
Thoomunity.

- Rizal

---

> Amazingly enough, Merlowe
> is already walking and talking, even though she's only a
> couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
> investigating how this might have happened.

If someone figures this out, please let me know. Seems to violate
several natural laws.

> Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully
> all Thooms will do their best to make her feel like a
> full member of the Puddleby Thoomunity.

Does she look like a Thoom or a Sylvan?

- Para

---

>> Amazingly enough, Merlowe
>> is already walking and talking, even though she's only a
>> couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
>> investigating how this might have happened.
>
> If someone figures this out, please let me know. Seems to
> violate several natural laws.

Personally, I think it's because Snow drank while pregnant, but I can't
prove that. Otherwise, Merlowe's healthy and doing great!

>> Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully
>> all Thooms will do their best to make her feel like a
>> full member of the Puddleby Thoomunity.
>
> Does she look like a Thoom or a Sylvan?
>
> Para

I'm not telling, but she's gorgeous!

- Merlisk

#####
"Democracy fails again"

FISHWRAP POLL

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

   o Malkor
   o Papa Thoom
   o _I'm_ your daddy
   o Vagile
   o Umbrion
   o That talking Noid who always gets in my way
   o I'm an orphan

To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

The poll is still open! Papa Thoom has recently pulled into the lead,
but a surprising number of exiles are orphans!

Vote today!

#####
"Miss Manners for Cats"

GUIDE FOR NEWLY EXILED FEN'NEKO COMING TO THE LOK'GROTONS
BY ODESSEUS

Ghrre'tsei to all new fen kin arriving on Puddleby Island, Exile
central!

I realize many of you have come directly to this island from the fen
lands and may find the great variety of strange races a shock. Here is
a short tip guide to help you along during the beginning of your stay
while you grow accustomed to the new and sometimes perplexing behavior
that the non-Fen'neko exhibit.

>> New faces, new races

First of all, you'll see Ghorak'Zo here. No, they aren't guards or
oppressors, they are exiled, too! Who would think that the creatures
Moebius drew from another, far-flung dimension to help (finally!)
overthrow The People's domain would now become a victim of that very
distorted leader. Ironic, eh? And to top it all off, most of them are
quite good sorts. I've even made fast friends with several of 'em, even
trust 'em with my life! So don't be too quick to judge them.

The other races are:

Humans - Most fen are aware of humans. We've warred with them and
traded with them and warred with them again. The ones here are not
altogether different. They are a trusting lot and can be steadfast and
reliable. They do have a propensity to be a bit boisterous, but are
mostly harmless.

Sylvan - Many fen may not have met this race of people. They have many
of the same sense of aesthetics and grace that fen have. Sometimes this
can be harmonious, sometimes not. They have interesting pointed ears
and can hear quite well with them, but they are not very expressive.
Otherwise, sylvan look like humans. Better dressed, for the most, part,
though.

Dwarves - This smaller, human-like race is hard-working and reliable.
Since they occupied the mountains bordering south of the mainland, many
fen may never have seen them. They seem to like hard helmets with horns
on them and beer. Lots of beer. Lots and lots of beer.

Halflings - Sometimes Halflings and Dwarves are initially confused by
newer fen. Although both are diminutive, they are quite different.
Halflings and fen have some good and bad history between them, mostly
good. The eastern-most plains fen are quite familiar with them. Good-
natured, also hard-working and very resourceful. Do not invite one to
dinner, however. Nor leave any food out in their presence. Also, it's
advisible to keep paws and feet a good distance from them. One never
knows.

Thooms - These are the more odd looking of the races. I've found them,
like all of the other races, by-and-large friendly and helpful. Thooms
excel in the healing arts, are very intelligent and thoughtful. Some
measure of them can be, however, quite cranky. And although they smell
vaguely of fish, Thooms take exception to being referred to as food.

>> Salutation situations

Greetings are handled differently by most other races. I know, I know,
fen usually tip an ear, tail-tip slighty, or incline the head a bit,
and that should be good enough. It's good enough for us, no? But these
races have no control over their ears, and, obviously, no tails.
Tipping an ear to another race is usually unnoticed. Staring and not
reciprocating any of the unfamiliar gestures they offer is considered a
breach of etiquette, odd as they may seem.

-A tooth for a tooth
Most of the races "smile" or "grin" here, a baring of the teeth to show
happiness. No, they are not threatening you, baring their fangs to show
aggression. They are displaying that they are pleased to be in your
presence. Try to "smile" back. Admittedly, the first smiles a fen make
may be a rictal grin that more frightens than assures, but if you
practice, you can usually flash a bit of a grin that isn't *too* bad
looking. I have tried to give toothy displays to others similar to what
they give me, but, oddly enough, it just seems to make them nervous.

-Bend over, please
Some may "bow" after smiling, bending awkwardly at the waist. While
something similar (although more graceful) is a sign of subservience in
some areas of the fen lands, that is not necessarily true here. Other
fen have remarked it looks like they are crouching to pounce. Generally
it is a sign of respect to having met you. I find the usual head-
incline, slightly more exaggerated, suffices in this case.

- Getting shaky
Some may jut their paw out and approach you while smiling. Again, this
is not a threat gesture! None of the races have claws that can scratch
much. This is actually an initiation to "shaking paws," (or "hands" as
humans call them) where the right paw of two persons are extended,
grasped firmly and pumped up and down. Be careful with your claws as
non-fen consider scratches of any form unfriendly. Some of the larger
races may want to squeeze your paw so hard it nearly crushes it. I find
a quick extension of the claws can immediately release the other's
grasp. I am still researching the origin of this odd greeting.

- Uh, zo
Zo's like to head-butt other people, forgetting we (or any other race,
for that matter) don't have the bony plates that they have. I have yet
to find a polite way of avoiding this form of greeting.

So if someone approaches you, bows, smiles and sticks their paw out
toward you, do not attack! It's meant as a friendly gesture. If it's a
Zo, you may try running away, though smiling as you do so.

>> Happy talk

Nearly all of the exiles speak a gutteral form of "Common," an
Easterling language not often heard in the fen lands. I suggest you
acquire its use quickly. It is not very hard to learn but is not geared
toward the fen. The other races have flattened teeth that allow less
precise pronounciation of words, so the language is tailored to that
end. However, don't worry if you slur the language overmuch. I've come
to find even those who speak it natively slur it, as well. Some of the
other races speak Fen'neko fairly understandably, so if necessary, you
can recruit one of these as a translator if the other speaker slurs *
too* much.

I'm going to suggest something a bit radical here: If you find yourself
accompanying races other than fen or human for a decent part of your
time, you may want to learn their language. It will gain their respect
and confidence if you do. At the very least it will enable you to
understand just what it is they are saying in that chirpy-mumbly-
growly-whatever language they use.

>> A fen and their hunt

Hunting on the islands is very open. No claim of ownership in the lands
exist, nor are any animals reserved for some special reason or other.
So hunt as you like. One word of caution: if another is engaging an
animal directly, even if it is one of the smaller races and is getting
torn to shreds, doing them a favor by dispatching the creature in
question is normally met with scorn. Ask or wait for them to ask before
helping out.

Be sure to get a sunstone as soon as you are able. Not only will that
allow you to hear what others proclaim they need help in hunting, but
if you get over your ears, you can ask for assistance yourself. Just do
it politely.

Work gradually from town center outward, taking down whatever prey your
abilities and your (crudely-wrought) armament allows. There are even a
couple of fun areas where you can hunt... exiles. But that's not really
sporting. Well, not most of the time.

That should get you started! If you have any questions, feel free to
ask any of the other more experienced fen in the lands. Seems we are
all in it for the long haul.

Bvier'tsei!

#####
"Incompetent Thoom misidentifies short, fat exile"

CORRECTION

Last issue, Fishwrap accidentally referred to Gurgi as a dwarf. As we
all know, Gurgi is a HALFLING.

Fishwrap apologizes to Gurgi and any dwarves or halflings who may have
been offended by this error.

- Para

#####
"Dubious advice from a fish-like being"

ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

Is the rumor that Kojiro and WormTounge are actually Thooms true?

- Zoose

A: Dear Zooze,

Shhh, it's a secret.

---

Q: Dear Paramedic:

What's your last name?

- Jazza

A: Dear Jazza,

Urm, "the Thoom"? I don't know. Don't ask me questions like that.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better and everything's safe

- Toad the Wet Sprocket

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

   o Malkor
   o Papa Thoom
   o _I'm_ your daddy
   o Vagile
   o Umbrion
   o That talking Noid who always gets in my way
   o I'm an orphan


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: Will you be training with Dentir
Longtooth to learn how to extract
mandibles?


CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Yes, I want a new source of income, 9 votes, 56.25%
- No, I don't think it's worth it, 7 votes, 43.75%
- What are mandibles?, 0 votes, 0.00%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Printed on Recycled Paper"

Issue #41: "Gone Fishin'"
[July 24, 2001]
Circulation: 161

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Gurgi gets technical
Vagile interviews Vagile
Catering by Jinx
Sleipnir reports for Fishwrap Music News
Taking the "Panther Challenge"

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Rael the Squonk
http://www.berberland.com/cl/
* Phroon the Thoom
http://homepage.mac.com/phroon/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tyranis Calgar is now a member of ThoomCare
* ThoomCare member Heronymous is now a fourth circle healer
* ThoomCare member Luthic Darkus has left Puddleby for a long trip
* Callia has become a full mystic
* Long-time Puddleby resident Zwei has left exile
* Neige the Mystic has left Puddleby
* Crippler the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter,
remains missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rieger leaves Zouclougeist Alliance
* Adventures at Umbrion's Island
* Taking the Panther Challenge
* An unscheduled trip to the Abyss
* How not to rescue the Horde
* Famous exiles Jo Ma'ril and Slasher return to the lands
* Reports that Urgelt has passed the sixth circle fighter test
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Umbrion's Island accessible without a mystic
* Koric gives Frozen Shade a very rare steel pot
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Expedition to the Ethereal Plane
* Tenebrion's servant, Sorer
* The Wedding of Firebird
* Elite Darshak Invasion
* Dun'ilsar: ELF vs BOI
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_192_08_49 on 12 Summer, 542 at 10:20..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Jo Ma'ril of stealing atention away from
me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 436 minutes in jail, 4527c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_197_04_03 on 17 Summer, 542 at 5:02..."
Clerus says, "Robin accused Noah of stealing his bloodblade..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 28 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_201_10_10 on 21 Summer, 542 at 11:05..."
Clerus says, "Bobo accused Ledward Vicious of endangering the town, and
suspected arson...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 159 minutes in jail, 1039c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_205_08_52 on 25 Summer, 542 at 9:53..."
Clerus says, "Zelnar accused Mac-arena of operating without a license
and stealing my carpet..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 242 minutes in jail, 946c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_229_03_46 on 49 Summer, 542 at 4:38..."
Clerus says, "Kira accused Malkor of harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_246_00_59 on 66 Summer, 542 at 2:16..."
Clerus says, "Forey accused Naamah of the murder of Aeaea, master
scholar of the Red Quill..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 80 minutes in jail, 395c fine and
0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Summer 63, 542, with 1361 eligible
voters:
#198: POP QUIZ for healers: You have a fallen on the edge of lava. Do
you:
6 (16%): Heal the fallen on the lava, over and over until he is too
dead to raise.
15 (39%): Pull the fallen off of the fricking lava before raising him.
11 (29%): None of the above
6 (16%): Abstain

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Gone Fishin'

Even Thoom healers need a vacation now and then. This month's feature
interview is by Fishwrap Senior Reporter Jeanne.

In addition, this issue includes contributions from a variety of
exiles.

I'm off to catch some cod. See you next time.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
JEANNE TALKS WITH GURGI THE DWARF

I had the great pleasure of talking to Gurgi about the fifth circle
fighter's test, how to train for these tests, and much more.

Jeanne: Thank you for agreeing to this interview. I promise to make
this as painless as possible. Well, I'll try.

Gurgi: You're welcome.

Jeanne: What were the creatures in the fifth circle fighter test?

Gurgi: Lava beetle, blood wyrm, and banshee.

Jeanne: Do you think that a fighter has to train a certain way to pass
the test, or does the test allow for variations in training?

Gurgi: Well, there is a most efficient way, but it is possible with any
style; just some would take a lot longer. There are usually three key
elements. You need enough defense for the monsters to whiff you, enough
Atkus to hit them, and enough damage/time to kill them in the time
limit. You can't get around the damage per time, but that requirement
is not usually outrageous. Having more damage per time of course
increases your buffer for delays, and also your buffer for luck hits
since the monsters get to attack you less if you kill them faster. If
you lack the defense, then you need a lot more Histia and damage/time
to make up for it. That is probably the hardest way to pass the test.

Well, except lacking the Atkus, I guess. If you lack the Atkus to hit
them, you are pretty much out of luck, or rather you better be pretty
full of it. 8D The only way you could do it then is by being able to
kill everything in 1 or 2 luck hits and have very fast swings. Luck is
always going to be a factor though any time you take the test. When you
train, you are really increasing your chances to pass, not just trying
to get to an exact point where you will pass. So once you have Atkus,
damage/time and defense to pass you could, but you can still increase
your chances by increasing your buffer for luck, like getting more
Histia and Darkus/Regia.

Jeanne: What do you think about getting your defense from Histia
instead of or in addition to Detha? Since Histia, in my opinion,
protects against both regular and luck hits.

Gurgi: If you get it instead of Detha, then you are in for a long road,
but Detha is kind of an all or nothing thing. So once you reach a
certain point more Detha will not help you in the test. At that point
it is useful to get more Histia to increase your buffer for luck hits.
Technically you could pass any of the tests with zero Histia, since it
is possible that you could never get luck hit. But it's not likely.
Once things in the test whiff you at max balance, Histia is one of the
best ways to pass (assuming you have the other requirements already).

Jeanne: Oh, so when the creatures in the test whiff you, that's when
you know you can go on to other trainers?

Gurgi: Yes, though you don't need to do the requirements in order. You
will fail just as surely if you can't hit them, but once you have the
minimum requirement then you can increase your tolerance for bad luck
with Histia and you can lessen your exposure to monsters by having more
Darkus.

Jeanne: Atkus takes a heavy toll on balance; who do you train with to
counter that?

Gurgi: Well, you could get Swengus, which is a mix of Regia and Balthus
(approximately 50/50), but you could also just get straight Regia. If
you just want to keep your swing rate up, plain Regia works fine. In
fact, I often do a custom mix of Detha and Regia since Detha replaces
the defense lost from taking more Balthus to swing, and Regia makes up
for the longer regeneration time.

Jeanne: Ah, it seems that this way is up for a personal preference.

Gurgi: Yes. If you want lots of swings then Swengus is great. I tend to
favor detha as defense. Some prefer Balthus.

Jeanne: Do you think that you were given enough time to complete the
test?

Gurgi: Yes, I think the time limits are reasonable. If the time limit
is too long then people would Troilus a lot. The time limits are to
prevent that kind of thing.

Jeanne: Oh yes, although you would need a lot of Troilus to do that, I
think.

Gurgi: Well, if there was no time limit I could imagine some people
using the testing area for an hour. With a time limit, Troilus can help
some, but only if you have a lot.

Jeanne: Could you share some of your tactics in the test?

Gurgi: Well, I try to minimize luck hits, so I basically hit and run
everything but you don't want to run out of time either. So you need to
make sure you are swinging as fast as you can. Tactics depend a lot on
your strengths and weaknesses, but the basic idea is to maximize the
ratio of your swings to the monsters swings. You don't want to swing
too many times if the monster is going to hit you when you're at low
balance. So if you could swing four times in the time the monster can
swing twice, you might just settle for a one to one if the monster hits
you after one swing. A one to one ratio with max whiff is better than a
four to two ratio where the monster hits you every second swing. Also,
one little trick I saw in fifth is that it is actually possible to kill
the lava beetle without it swinging at you even a single time if you
are careful to attack only when it is running in circles and only from
behind. That would be useful if you're red and fighting it, which
brings me to another point. The order you fight the monsters is
important. Usually save the hardest monster for last so you have only
that monster to worry about when your fighting it and try to kill each
monster rather than just wound several at a time. I suggest everyone
have a timer when they fight too, so they know exactly how much time
they have left.

Jeanne: It's easy to train for the second circle since you can fight
many Ferals in the wild, however, how do you fight those fifth circle
critters in the wild to practice?

Gurgi: I don't know about the lava beetle, but the blood wyrms are very
common in RC.

Jeanne: RC?

Gurgi: Rocky Cavern.

Jeanne: Where is that?

Gurgi: It's just east of the northern entrance to North Pass on the way
to the lake. It's on the south wall. The tricky part about wild
monsters is they are variable so its hard to tell whether the monster
you are fighting is above, below, or equal to a standard monster. They
use only standard ones in the tests.

Jeanne: Well, if you can defeat all of the wild monsters then you might
be more confident since they all can't be the easiest ones.

Gurgi: Right.

Jeanne: Let's see; last question for you. What do you think about the
fifth circle area of the fighter's hall? Is the red belt a good enough
reward for passing?

Gurgi: Well, I hope they plan on adding more things for fifth and sixth
circle. I think sixth circle should have a pendant.

Jeanne: Like a Purgatory pendant?

Gurgi: Right. It could be slightly different, but similar. There are
probably going to be some hidden trainers or something too.

Jeanne: You think that there will be more hidden trainers?

Gurgi: Well I know there is a hidden pathfinding trainer so there could
be others hidden with him.

Jeanne: Well, I hope that the trainers are able to be accessed from the
fighter hall.

Gurgi: That sure would be nice.

Jeanne: At the very least, let us find them and then entice them to
come back here; just as with Bracis. It could be an even bigger
production to find the new trainers.

Gurgi: I think a cool item would be a life-stealing weapon, so when you
hit a monster it heal you some percentage of the damage you do.

Jeanne: But wouldn't that make fighters self-sustainable? It seems that
fighters and healers are being made to be dependent on each other.

Gurgi: If the percentage is small it might not be enough in dangerous
situations. It could be a good fifth or sixth circle item. It would be
more for sustaining fighters in junk hunts.

Jeanne: Do you want to say anything else to the Fishwrap readers?

Gurgi: Don't give up! Any week could be your lucky week.

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

A surprising addition to the world of Puddleby was introduced during
the last Chaos Storm. The ability to keep our weapons at home was an
ability long wished for, mainly by healers who usually didn't even use
a weapon. Those who use bracers also welcome this change as they fight
with their hands. Another change was the addition of a small knife for
those that choose to wear cloaks. Human females now have an option to
wear pants and they wear their hair differently. I also noticed that
cloaked females sat a bit differently and there a number of other
changes like this to be found with nearly everyone. If you want to
leave your weapon at home too, go to the Fairgrounds and enter the hut
in the southwestern corner. You can go in both gender rooms no matter
what your gender is, but you can't disguise yourself as any other race.
I already tried and it didn't work.

---

While the main portion of the Outpost has not been opened (it's "real
soon now"), a new hunting challenge has been introduced. Located in the
small huts next to the Outpost, a Sylvan by the name of Firle Panr to
kill 50 Island Panthers in 110 Puddleminutes. I have not taken this
challenge but Koric reports on his own web site that the reward was
"hundreds of coins."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

The Puddleby Open Mic Club! Check out our Open Mic nights at the
ballroom for singing, dancing, bard music, skits and everything nice!

Paid for by Tyking II and Xepel

##### 
FISHWRAP MUSIC NEWS: SLYPHONICS IN ACTION
BY SLEIPNIR NA GRALAM, FISHWRAP MUSIC NEWS REPORTER

The Slyphonics are pleased to announce the publication of their debut
visionalbum "Chain Mail Bikini", which may be found at

http://www.reed.edu/~feigec/slyphonics/

In a concert to promote their visionalbum, the Slyphonics played to a
packed house of adoring fans, raising the noise and energy to a level
previously unheard of in the staid Bards' Field. In her pre-concert
show Vagile wound the crowd up to an intense fever of lizard-induced
excitement, leading to riotous scenes where the crowd tried to storm
the stage to touch the band when they finally appeared.

Despite a few minor technical glitches (ably corrected by Achates who
managed the sound system) the Slyphonics' presentation was a flawless
blend of blues, folk, and funk, bringing the audience to their feet
time and time again, and setting toes tapping throughout all of
Puddleby.

The lead singer Slyph surpassed herself in sartorial elegance,
appearing (for the first time in Puddleby history) in an actual chain
mail bikini, leaving little, if anything, to the imagination of her
many adoring fans. Her backing band, looking very stylish in black and
gold, set female hearts racing as they set new standards for Puddleby
elegance and sex appeal.

It was the show to beat all shows (until, that is, the next Slyphonics
show). If you missed it, you missed a truly world-changing event. Don't
miss the next one, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Music like this does not happen often, and when it does it leaves us
all with a memory to be cherished in our hearts forever.

Thank you Slyphonics. Puddleby loves you all.

Some selected fan comments:

"I loved the lyrics especially, but the Knight was very, very handsome
too". (Lady Babajaga Vanimalda).

"Stupendous. Amazing. Enthralling. The band members were so handsome,
and I loved the song lyrics". (Althea)

"The best musical event that Puddleby has ever experienced. A true
demonstration of how wonderful the Bards' Guild is and why we should
all support Bardship". (Chum)

"Kissing Achates to get backstage was the best thing I ever did. I even
got to touch Forey!" (Shamhat).

"Oooooooooooooooooooo." (Healery)

"I am a superhealer and do not attend such plebeian displays. But I was
told it was somewhat enjoyable for those who did so lower themselves."
(Klur)

"Slepnor is such a turd. But Slyph is OK" (Baffette)

"Absolutely fantastic! Incredible music and I loved the lyrics
especially. That is one sexy band. No, wait, don't publish that.
Er..... Bugger, too late." (Blitz)

"This was the best musical show I've ever seen in my entire life.
Sleipnir has so many talents it's just amazing. And Coriakin is so
Thoomy. Forey's a bit fat for my taste but he would probably be OK with
turnips. As for Slyph, well, well, well, what can I say. Wow! What a
voice! I'm green with envy." (Prue)

"Vagile offers free lizards to anyone who buys the visionalbum at the
advance discount price of 200 coins" (Vagile).

"Slyphonics? Who are they?" (Joe)

sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose
Fellowship of the Red Quill
The Order of True and Gentle Knighthood

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

LOCAL DORF SEEKS HOPS

Dwarven Militia member Gimli is seeking hops. He has plenty of barley
and wheat, but lacks the hops he needs to make them into that favorite
beverage of all dorfs, beer. He's hoping someone has some for sale or
trade.

Rumor is that the infamous faux-fisherman "Chum" ("Chum" may be an
alias) is hoarding all the hops.

Contact Gimli if you have hops to share.

Gimli asks, "Para, is it possible to advertise in your paper?"
Paramedic says, "Certainly, Gimli"
Paramedic says, "25 coins for a 1-line ad, 50 for a full ad"
Gimli asks, "Do you take beer in payment?"
Paramedic says, "Nope, beer dries me out. I'm aquatic and the alcohol
content is not good for my metabolism."
Gimli hands you 50 coins.
Gimli says, "Well, as you know there is a horrible hops shortage."
(Paramedic listens)
Gimli says, "Rumor has it that Chum has been hording all the hops."
Paramedic says, "That sounds like him"
Neige ponders, "Stupid me."
Althea says, "aye"
Gimli is a Dwarf, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
the Dwarven Militia.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(He wants to open a brewery.)
Gimli has 58 good and 1 bad karma.
Gimli says, "I have collected over sixty bundles of barley and wheat,
but I do not have any hops to make them into beer."
Papa thinks, "can a mystic locate holymackeral for me?"
Althea says, "doubtful"
Kira says, "I've only found hops twice"
Shadowmutt growls, "Woof!"
Rieger says, "It's all Aki's fault prolly"
Paramedic says, "Wow"
Lorikeet says, "I found hops once"
Shadowmutt growls, "Grrr."
Althea says, "Naw, its Malkor's"
(Neige blames Salandra and Malkor.)
Rieger asks, "and Neige?"
Paramedic says, "So the ad should say that you are seeking hops, and
explain the background (Chum may be hogging them?)"
Xepel is no longer Clanning.
Kira asks, "what about Neige?"
Rieger says, "He's to blame"
Paramedic says, "Sounds like Chum"
Gimli says, "I leave the wording to your editorial expertise."
Paramedic says, "Ok. I'll make up a nice ad"

#####
EXILES ON THE MOVE

Luthic Darkus, one of the founding members of ThoomCare, has left
Puddleby for an extended trip back to the mainland. He's not sure if he
will return. The members of ThoomCare wish him well and hope that we
see him again soon.

Zwei the Fen, a long-time resident of Puddleby, has left exile and will
not be returning. Zwei was instrumental in helping to establish the
community of Puddleby and she will be missed. Some say she lives on in
another realm and in another form.

Neige the Mystic has left Puddleby due to serious disagreements with
the way the mystic guild is operated. More than fifty exiles gathered
in town to hear his farewell speech.

The following two exiles are missing in action:
Crippler (ThoomCare member and Senior Reporter of Fishwrap)
Dances with Trools (Thoomcare Consulting Physician)
Does anyone have any clue as to their whereabouts?

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

http://www.thoomworld.com/

A directory and enchanted mail service for Thooms

Sixteen Thooms in the directory and more are signing up all the time!

Best Thoomish Regards to all of you!

- Kalthax Thoom

#####
CLAN PROFILE: DORFCARE?
BY CHARLOS

DorfCare?

Origins:
DorfCare? was founded not too long ago by Aries, my dearly departed
(and slightly retarded) cousin Rondel, and me, cuz we were drunk and
had nuthin' better to do than steal someone else's idea.

As most of you know, clans are outlawed by Mobius. But we're not a clan
just a bunch of idiots who yell at each other and start drunken brawls.

Clan principles:
These are our clan objectives:
- To one day trick someone into giving us those non-clannar
affiliations badges.
- To protect Puddleby and its beer.
- To contain the spread of sobriety and other dumbstuff.
- To promote general Dorfness.

The basic principle of DorfCare? is to defend our beer and improve
Puddleby's appreciation of Drunken Brawlin'. We do this through active
threats as well as cultural and social pursuits.

The following are clan virtues that each member should embrace:
Drunkeness, Heresy, Unspellingness, Money, Bipolarity, and Depravity

We are a pseudo-anarchist/pre-anachronistic/semi-nudist/bicamerally-
parliamentarized clan ruled by a council of any given member at any
given time. We hold elections for each post on a surprise basis, and
any active member can bully any other member out of their office. Each
council seat has certain duties.

The DrunkenMaster represents the loudmouth voices of the clan to which
ever of the councilmembers may be listening.

The KegMaster represents the clan to other clans and the general
populace of Puddleby.

The Sniveling Spy coordinates the clan's information gathering efforts.

The Drunken Brawler organizes the clan's defense of the beer and the
clan itself.

And finally the Sleeping Drunkard recovers from last night's
debauchery.

Events:
We hold many events in Puddleby and the surrounding areas. Every time
we get together most folks run away. The hunt gathers wherever there's
a rank to whore, a beer to guzzle, or a brawl to engage in.

We are not members of the Dun'islar clan completions.
We get laughed at if we tried to join.

Members:
Our clan roster currently has maybe 6 active members if we're lucky and
get a few folks drunk. We are proud to claim that one or two of the
most infamous and rowdy exiles in the lands have at one time or another
yelled: "DorfCare?!! It's gettin ugly and we just got here!"

Future plans:
We are always looking for new ranks to whore and intoxicants to
discover.
Currently we are trying to regain access to the murky depths of our
decrepid souls.

#####
VAGILE PASSES FOURTH CIRCLE TEST
BY VAGILE

Vagile passed 4th circle test!

Vagile quickly dispatched the greater wraith, ran to the other side of
the room and whacked the green noid until it broke. Then it was Vagile
on high yellow vs. the fury. Vagile called it names, poked it in the
eye and started dancing. Eventually the fury was on yellow and Vagile
was on yellow. Then the fury was on red and Vagile was on yellow. And
Vagile thought for the first time in her life she might pass the test.

Vagile swung mightily at the fury's legs and kneecapped it. Poked it in
the eye. Taunted it severely a final time and then delivered the coup
de grace.

Vagile: So, Vagile how do you feel now that Vagile has finally passed
the 4th circle test?

Vagile: Vagile's careful Vagile-training made all the difference.

Vagile: How so?

Vagile: Vagile applied advanced Vagile-fibbing techniques. Vagile
yelled "Look there!" and when the fury turned around to see what Vagile
was talking about, Vagile hit it by surprise.

Vagile: So you would recommend Vagile-training then?

Vagile: Only if people want to learn something useful, not like what
Evus teaches.

Vagile: What plans do you have now as Puddleby's newest fourth circle
fighter?

Vagile: Vagile is going to kick Evus with Vagile's fourth circle boots
until Evus gives Vagile a book.

Vagile: Congratulations, Vagile.

Vagile: Thank you, Vagile.

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT

Thalion and Luna happily announce their wedding.

Invitations can be found at:
http://www.geocities.com/lunachatskyclad/weddinginvitation.html

Please R.S.V.P, as the event will be fully catered by Chef Jinx. The
couple are not registered, but will accept gifts in the form of
ingredients or refreshments for the reception. See Jinx for details.
Also, no music accompaniment has yet been arranged. Interested bards,
please contact Luna for information.

Everyone is invited to attend this blessed event.

- Thalion and Luna

#####
EXILE PROFILE: SUM THE THOOM

Greetings, all!

I am called Sum. I am a recent exile, who once was a monk. I lived in
the Damp Dragon Dojo, high in the thoomy mountains. I spent my life
doing everything, but especially eating fish. I am sure that many of
you know the joys of eating fish. Raw, cooked, filleted, grilled,
broiled, boiled, and, mainly, eaten!

In this land, I have discovered a few things. One of those things is
that you can get fish thrown at you! Yes! In the fairgrounds, there is
a place where, upon signalling with a gong, a fish is lobbed at you!
What a wonderful thing! At first glance, that is ...

I currently possess Arachnoid Teeth, a Bottle of Water, a Bundle of
Wheat, Maha's Claws, a Pretzel, and Tangle Taffy. All of these things
are foody. And yet, when I am pelted with a fish, where is it? I have
none! This is frustrating! I need a fish! Sure, having fish hucked at
you is a pleasure in and of itself ... but what about eating them?

I have been idle for too long. Please do something to avoid being
disconnected.

G'night!

- Sum

#####
TRAVEL SECTION
BY YOR THE ZO

Strim all,

Darkhorse is forming a new exploration group called The Lok'Groton
Islands' Foundation for Exploration (LIFE).  This will be a hardcore,
committed exploration group that hopes to unravel the mysteries behind
primarily the Foothills, but also Umbrion's Island, The Ethereal Plane,
and any other major quest that may come along.

If you have any interest in this type of thing I implore you to read
the group's "Manifesto" at:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/yor/life.html

If after reading the Manifesto you are still interested and can meet
the requirements then follow the directions and email the address at
the bottom of the Manifesto.  Graha.

- Yor

#####
WINDY CHRONICLES
NEWS AND INFORMATION FROM WINDS OF DAWN CLAN

Get toggle locating tips:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/togglelocate.html

Info and events for new exiles:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/newexilehelp.html

Kiriel D'Sol is conducting free tours of Devil's Island for those
intersted in sightseeing and exploration.


#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

How come I never get interviewed for the magazine?

- Mr. Lonely

A: Mr. Lonely,

You might want to join a clan and get out of the library more often.

---

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

I like grape juice.

- Mister Foofy

A: Dear Mister, uhm, "Foofy",

Funny, your handwriting looks just like that of Mr. Lonely. And you
might want to cut back a bit on the fermented grape juice, buster.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

What do the sparkles mean in the marsh?

- Baffette

A: Dear Baffette:

In Mr. Foofy's case, they mean he's had a bit too much of that grape
juice.

---

Q. Dear Mr. Thoom:

How many thooms would thoom thoomlings if thooms could thoom
thoomlings?

- Zhirem

A. Dear Zhirem:

Thoom thoom thoom thoom thoom thoom, thoom thoom; thoom thoom thoom.

---

Q: Hey, Mr. Thoom:

As I am trained in the use of the metal bracers, I was quite happy to
be able to, once and for all, discard my weapon, so that all exiles can
now see no trace of it! I have since noticed many other exiles fighting
apparently weaponless. Yet, when I looked closely, I noticed that they
did indeed have an axe or a dagger or some other weapon in their hands.
What gives?

- Suit-Tie

A: Dear Mr. Suit-Tie:

Well, I can't speak for the other races, but that object in the belt of
Thooms is actually a wooden spoon. We tend to pack a lunch.

---

Q: Urm, Paramedic,

Some of your Thoom friends intimidated me into giving them an old tuna
sandwich they smelled in my coat pocket.

- Malkor

A: Dear Malkor:

You got off lucky.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

We are full pathfinders. Some paths we used to be able to open we
cannot open anymore. We don't understand this, because it seems to be
beyond reason or natural law. It seems to call into question the entire
function and principles of pathfinding.

- Korileet and Fisher

A: Oh, don't even get me started.

#####
EXILE POETRY
HAIKU BY SUM

I once had a fish.
It was raw, and real yummy.
Now it is all gone.

Slip'ry in the sun,
And graceful in the water.
Gulp! Down my gullet!

Mountain shines with rain.
Waves of grass in the valley.
My silence: World's Voice.

Meditating; whole.
Black hawk painting the white clouds.
Crap! I'm low on fish.

I found a gold carp.
Sunshine pure, grace beneath waves.
Quick! Repair the net!

Exploring new lands.
Finding new friends, and fish!
Hearken! Rats go 'SQUEE!'

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Shaved Fen: The Hidden Shame"
Pathfinding Survey by Odesseus
"Who's Your Daddy?" by Papa Thoom
"How to Crack Your Togron Nuts"
"Is That an Anchor in Your Pocket?" by Vagile
"I Can't Believe You Just Called Me a Crouton" by Malkor
Prue's Garage Sale: Half off all halflings. Literally.
"Guide to Reattaching Severed Fen Tails" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

I was a sailor, I was lost at sea
I was under the waves before love rescued me

- U2

It's time to prepare the next issue of Fishwrap.

If you have any announcements, interviews, clan profiles,
advertisements or articles, now is the time to let me know.

Thanks and I hope to get a bunch of stuff

Para