FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"   ><((°>   "

Issue #47: "Falinea and Melabrion"
[February 25, 2002]
Circulation: 187

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* The Hall of Chivalry
* The Scarmis Pen
* ThoomCare Travel Warnings
* West Foundation Awards
* Tyking II's Tenebrion Report
* Clan Profile: Tabula Rasa
* Interview with Falinea
* Dorfs Meet with Melabrion
* Exile on the Street by Charlos
* Merlisk Reports on Orga Summoning
* An Interview with Marsh Hermit

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SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Clan Hunter
http://hunter.clanlords.com/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* The Sun Dragon Clan
http://www.sundragonclan.com/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* The Dwarven Militia
http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/
* Slyph
"Lord of the Ribs, opening soon! Slabs Bigger Than Your Head™ Ribs.
It's What's for Dinner."
* Connie Crete
"Luv fer Rent: Contact Connie Crete about rentin' Chris Rex. (He kin
also rent hisself.)"
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
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* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker/
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html/

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THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rumors of Prue's death greatly exaggerated
* Norm finds a cacao pod
* Norm tries "ethereal boots"
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* The Gardenmaze
* The acid-spitting Scarmis Qqueen
* Skirwan was found on Ash, minus his brain. An open skull was all that
was left
* Shepherd is missing. Last seen and heard going to talk with someone
named Anubis
* Transcript of discussion between Callia and Tenebrion
* Melabrion directing numerous studies with exiles on bloodblades,
ores, stones, and Greymyrs
* Kyuem pieces, Ethereal boots etc.
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.org/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Malachite and Olive arachnoids
* Explorations of the second sphere of the Ethereal Plane
* Aldernon a murderer?
* Darshak invasion
* Mobbed by Wickedews on Umbrion's Island
* Umbrion's Island statue
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Leradla and Cimmbrion
* Lalerad teaches an understanding of Ethereal flow
* Castle of Lugubrion?
* Tenebrion speaks of the underlying structures of the Ether
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* Umbrion's maze
* Gambling with Jack Vintian
* Gurgi's Foothills raid
* Failed LIFE expedition
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
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#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

Hello and welcome to News from the Fen Bureau. It is said that the more
things change, the more things remain the same and that's been very
true lately.

* The Sylvan Outpost is still closed.

* The Hall of Chivalry is open and it's less of a tribute to chivalry
than allowing those who are squires and knights to get heraldric
shields bearing the name of their order. I had hoped there to be
someone explaining the tenets of knighthood but there is sadly nothing
of note.

* Fat Alice has come to town again and asked us to retrieve a gem for
her, but won't trust us with its location lest we keep it for
ourselves. So she wants us to give her 40,000 coins then she'll tell us
the gem's location and she will give us the money back when we give her
the gem. I recall what she did when we worked to give her the new hut
and so I don't trust her any more than I can throw her.

* The Scarmis Pen on Ash Island seems to be the popular place for high-
level fighters to hunt since it is close to town although relatively
difficult to leave. There's always the danger of severe injury because
of the acid, but overall it sounds like a very exciting place to hunt.

* You can now drop items which is perfect for those that don't want to
go to the dump to throw their items away. You can't pick up items that
are personal such as the rewards for the hunting challenges and mystic
tokens.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy
* Visionstones and snapshots of interesting events.
* Reports on what's happened to her and to Puddleby.
* Lessons she's learned and opinions she's formed.

This and more available here:
http://jeanne.puddleby.info/

#####
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Sielk has started keeping notes on my his adventures and invites all
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notes at the following scroll address in the library:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/Sielk/

Just turn to the chapter labeled Sielk's Adventure Notes and enjoy!

Sponsored by The Sun Dragon Clan

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#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
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#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

***
ThoomCare is proud to announce a new service for all exiles. ThoomCare
will be publishing Travel Warnings and Public Announcements in order to
keep exiles informed of dangerous conditions throughout the lands.

ThoomCare has issued a Travel Warning for the Wendecka Breeding
Grounds, and Public Announcements for Kitty Beach and the Northwest
Forest. For more information, please visit the ThoomCare Travel
Warnings scroll at

http://rizal_cl.tripod.com/scrapbook/travel_warnings.html

Thanks to ThoomCare member Rizal for taking on this great new project.

***
Tyranis Calgar, ThoomCare member, is now a second-circle healer.

***
Phroon, ThoomCare member, is now a third-circle healer.

***
Fishwrap Magazine is pleased to announce that it has taken over the
administration of the West Foundation, a charitable enterprise
dedicated to encouraging writing and the arts in Puddleby. Fishwrap is
committed to continuing the tradition of civic philanthropy started by
the West Foundation. If you are interested in applying for a West
Foundation award, contact Para with a proposal for your project.
Winners will receive a grant, and have their contribution appear in
Fishwrap Magazine.

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
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#####
TYKING II's MILDLY TENEBRION-RELATED REPORT!
By Tyking II

Well, the Orga summoning spell happened. There was much chanting, with
just about every exile joining in. In the end, we summoned one Orga. It
didn't seem like much, but then a Shaman was found. Then Wangah Rah
started feeling sick, then both Wangah and Merlisk started speaking in
the Orga tongue. Eventually, the town saw Hatreds popping up all over
the place, as well as other Orga. Wangah found a control spell that
would work on a hatred if the exiles would stop attacking it. Of
course, that never happened, so Perkusi attempted to lead the Hatred to
the zoo. Unfortunately again, the hatred poofed, and left us with
nothing.

Jynx appeared in that time, and gave me some interesting information:
-The Orga came into town through Purgatory
-The Orga have their own altar
-An Orga was captured after this, and Jynx spoke to it in a strange
language. To us, it appeared the Orga said "cat". Jynx stated that the
most likely word the Orga was saying was "catapult", "although they do
like to eat cats".

In other Jynx-comments,
-I found out during an earlier encounter with Jynx that our world is
full of tiny tears, exactly like ones in the Ripture War, only much
smaller. He stated at that time that the tears were rapidly expanding.
-Today he told me that the tears had subsided and his people had it
under control for the moment. He also told me that what we know as
"ether", is actually material leaking through the tears. Therefore, the
Ethereal Plane is simply a manifestation of leaky tears.

That's about it, so I'm signing off!
-Tyking II

Oh, and Darnok sued me for some weird reason. "Your a punk, everyone
hates you, your annoying" or something like that. (Yes, I know that
it's actually "you're", but he didn't). The jury found this case to be
what it was, and found me innocent. Yippee!

#####
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We are hoping to expanding into other banking areas such as savings
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For loans and investment opportunities, contact WormTounge in the
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#####
CLAN PROFILE: TABULA RASA
BY JEANNE

While everyone starts out as exiles, most decide to pick a profession
shortly after arriving in Puddleby. There are a few individuals who,
for one reason or another, decide to choose their own path and remain
unprofessioned exiles. Many don't even think of this and assume that
they are trying to become mystics or are still trying to pick a
profession.

To combat this, WorldWalker has brought together a group of similarly-
minded exiles to form "Any Clan" or the Fellowship of Tabula Rasa. "Any
Clan" gives all exiles who have chosen to remain unprofessioned exiles
moral support and friendship.

Visit their scrolls at

http://anyclan.puddleby.info

for a listing of members, pictures of their adventures, and information
on how to join if you also want to remain an unprofessioned exile.

#####
INTERVIEW WITH FALINEA
BY LELU

I met Falinea in the South Forest.  She is a wonderful and beautiful
creature.  Here is our conversation.

Lelu yells, "Help, fallen Zo!"
Falinea exclaims, "Greetings, exile!"
Lelu exclaims, "oooooooooooooh!"
The Rat munches on Lelu's fallen body.
The Rat pokes at Lelu's wounds.
Lelu exclaims, "how pretty!"
Falinea has not disclosed her race, is female, is an exile, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a roguewood club, and she is wearing a sunstone, a
shirt, a third circle fighter belt and a pair of pants.
You begin sharing your experiences with Falinea.
You are sharing experiences with Falinea, Nyika, Taladwy, Altir and
Harmachis.
Falinea asks, "what got you?"
Lelu says, "well, officially... a vermine"
(Falinea blushes)
Lelu says, "but.. I was surrounded by many many creatures"
(Falinea nods)
Falinea says, "I know how it can be"
Falinea asks, "are any healers coming for you?"
Lelu asks, "how did you get to be such a winged creature?"
(Falinea looks puzzled)
Lelu says, "I don't know if anyone is looking for me"
Falinea says, "I was born this way, of course"
Lelu exclaims, "oh!"
Falinea says, "I am a poor healer, but I will try"
Lelu says, "excuse me.. I did not realize we had any creatures like
this on the island"
Falinea says, "I am the last of my kind"
Falinea says, "and not often in the lands"
Lelu says, "I see"
(Falinea starts to heal Lelu)
Lelu exclaims, "yay!"
(Lelu is raised easily)
Lelu says, "Thank you"
Falinea ponders, "always such a relief when it works!"
Lelu thinks, "aaah up, thanks to Falinea"
Falinea says, "most welcome"
Falinea has not disclosed her race, is female, is an exile, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a moonstone, and she is wearing a sunstone, a shirt, a
third circle fighter belt and a pair of pants.
Altir thinks to you, "aye?!"
You think to Altir, "She is a winged horse!  have you met her?"
You concentrate on sending your message to Altir.
Falinea asks, "out hunting solo? or did you lose your party?"
Lelu says, "solo :)"
Falinea says, "always my favorite way to hunt"
(Falinea smiles)
(Lelu smiles.)
Falinea says, "well, good luck to you"
Lelu says, "I am a kind of narcoleptic... so, many don't like to hunt
with me so much :)"
Falinea says, "ah"
Lelu says, "I wanted to ask you..."
Falinea says, "I know others with the same problem"
Falinea asks, "yes?"
Lelu asks, "how did you end up on the island?"
Falinea says, "oh, it was sad"
Lelu says, "I'm sorry..."
Falinea says, "there is a scroll about it"
(Falinea searches her memory...)
Falinea says, "http://www.vizia.com/falinea/falinea.html"
Falinea says, "I think <g>"
Lelu says, "I will read it..."
Falinea says, "it still makes me cry"
Lelu asks, "You said you don't come out much.. what brings you out
today?"
Falinea says, "I've recently returned from another search for possible
survivors"
Falinea says, "of my family"
Lelu asks, "oh?"
Lelu asks, "where were you searching?"
Falinea says, "I have a home here, in the Sacred Grove, and return to
rest occasionally"
Falinea says, "several islands to the east, far away"
Falinea says, "no sign of anyone yet, though"
Lelu says, "the Sacred Grove? I don't believe I know of this place..
I've only been around .. maybe 6 months or so..."
(Falinea shakes her head sadly)
Falinea says, "ah"
Falinea says, "not many go there, but mystics"
Lelu says, "oh, I see"
Falinea says, "you must pass through the spriggin wood to get there"
Falinea says, "perhaps someone will show you sometime :-)"
Lelu exclaims, "ohhh.. yes, I've heard of spriggin wood.. and Tree
Giants!"
Falinea says, "it's quite pretty"
Lelu says, "I'm very scared to venture there"
Falinea exclaims, "and the only place on the island where the seasons
actually show change!"
Lelu says, "It sounds pretty..."
Lelu exclaims, "!!!"
(Falinea nods)
Lelu exclaims, "Oh, this I must see!"
Lelu asks, "What does it look like now?"
(Lelu waves.)
Lelu says, "hi Clair"
Falinea says, "well, there are secret passages and such, so you need
someone knowledgeable to take you"
Falinea says, "Greetings, Claire"
Lelu asks, "Have you met Falinea?"
Clair says, "Hello."
Falinea says, "it's summer, so the trees are green and in full leaf"
Lelu says, "oh, that does sound intriguing..."
Falinea says, "but when fall comes, soon, they change color, and the
grass turns brown"
Falinea exclaims, "and the snowstorms in the winter are difficult!"
Lelu asks, "Are there any others who live there besides you?"
Falinea says, "no"
Falinea says, "the grove allows my presence"
Falinea says, "I don't know why"
Lelu says, "it must be lonely"
Falinea says, "it is"
Falinea says, "but I continue to hope my family will show up, someday"
Falinea says, "well, friends, time to sling on the old feedbag"
Lelu says, "the citizens of Puddleby are mostly very kind and
friendly.. you should come out more often and "play" with us :)"
Falinea exclaims, "long flight!"
Clair says, "Be well."
(Falinea smiles)
Lelu says, "ok! thank you for your help! :)"
Falinea says, "I find that my presence is sometimes, uh, distracting"
(Falinea grins)
(Lelu smiles.)
Falinea exclaims, "Good luck and good hunting!"
Lelu says, "well, you are a beautiful creature, so I can understand
why"
(Falinea waves.)
Lelu says, "thank you"
(Falinea blushes)
You just received good karma!
(Lelu smiles.)
(Falinea flies away.) (and then disappears into thin air!)
You gave good karma to Falinea.

#####
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DORFS MEET WITH MELABRION AND TENEBRION
FROM TARF THE DWARF

Tenebrion says, "They follow their orders to the letter."
Jo Ma'ril asks, "can you translate for us, dwarven guys?"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Yep."
(Wangah Rah mumbles something under his breath.)
Tarf ponders, "Greetings"
Jo Ma'ril says, "Thanks."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Greetings"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Hi"
Tenebrion asks, "Wangah Rah, can you tell the subject of
which you want to discuss?"
Wangah Rah says, "Nai, I am afraid I cannot publicly."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Have you been informed by the
other dwarves of my desire?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "To some extent"
Jo Ma'ril asks, "What's he sayin'?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Do you realize that secrecy is
in your best interest?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "you wish for a mercurial staff, no?"
Tenebrion says, "I must leave for now."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I have one"
Janus is no longer Clanning.
Habbakuk Lal says, "He says tell the ugly Human to beat
it."
(Wangah Rah nods)
Jo Ma'ril says, "phhft"
Wangah Rah says, "Lei'tar"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Heh."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "then it appears I am not 'up to
date'"
(Melabrion nods)
Jo Ma'ril says, "c'mon be nice, I'll buy you a beer when
we get back"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Norm and the others were sent
to gather the leaders of the dwarven nation"
Tarf ponders, "I can't translate myself, I'm making a movie
now go keep your pants on :P"
(Nunul smiles and nods)
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "This should be kept
secret!"
Wangah Rah says, "Tell me when one of the good dwarves can
translate for me."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I'm not sure that we dorfs have a
leader"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That's unfortunate"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "though there are some of us who are
organized"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, I'll take any leaders to
come forward"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But, you should know dwarfs are
rather independent"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli here, and myself, are members
of the dwarven militia"
Nunul asks, "Tarf...can you tell him that I had a strange
pulse on the amulet I wear for decoration?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli is a council member, I am a
former council member"
Wangah Rah asks, "Nunul, when was this?"
(Melabrion nods)
(Nunul thinks)
Wangah Rah asks, "Four days ago?"
Nunul says, "about 5 puddle days ago"
Wangah Rah says, "Indeed"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well...."
Rifkin is now Clanning.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "The other council members are
hungover and/or drunk currently"
(Melabrion laughs)
Nunul says, "or 4...."
Wangah Rah says, "As I thought"
Wangah Rah says, "Many did..."

Melabrion Seeks a Meeting

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I wish for the dwarves to
accomplish what the lesser races have not"
Nunul asks, "even non-mystics?"
Wangah Rah says, "Please ask Melabrion what he was doing."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "and that would be...?"
Wangah Rah says, "He sunstoned some whose amulets pulsed
and said they disrupted his expriment."
(Jo Ma'ril nods.)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "This is why I wish to have a
meeting with your leaders"
Wangah Rah says, "I'm interested in what he was doing that
was so sensitive."
Nunul shows his Ethereal Amulet to everyone.
Nunul asks, "why as a fighter did I feel the pulse?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I believe that your noble race
can succeed where the others haven't in fulfilling the deal put forth
by us"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have heard of Tenebrion's
desire for a stone, but we have serious concerns about giving him one."
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Then, give it to me"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Look, no offence, bub."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "But you share a surname with
Umbrion and Tenebrion do you not?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are my brothers"
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Your brothers, one whose foolish
experiments threaten purgatory, and the other who causes disease?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Well, getting a stone is hard"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "These are things that you say"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are not my doing"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, I will fulfill the
promise"
DanDura'a yells, "Get yer stinkin' paws off me keg, Larea!
Guards! Guards!"
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Bad idea"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But convincing us that giving you
a stone is a good idea is even harder"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I will create a permanent
portal for six of those Orga Stones"
Wangah Rah asks, "Tenebrion, did Cimmbrion pass on my
request to yi or Umbrion, regarding the amulets?"

Trust

Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Why do you not trust us?"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "Why should we?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We have shared our knowledge
with you"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Have you though?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "I have only just met you."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "All I have ever seen is secrets"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We've given you magic the
likes of which you've never seen"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Secrets?"
Tenebrion says, "I do not believe they did, Wangah Rah."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Your fellow citizens know
much"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Everything about your brothers is
secret"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "a hidden castle with no entrance"
Wangah Rah says, "I spoke of my concern on the lack of
metal in our lands."
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Aye, but everything comes at a
price. What will this cost us?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "A tower full of secret doors and
magic"
Wangah Rah says, "He pushed for haste on his
experiments..."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Why would we WANT you in our
homes?"
(Nunul wonders if Lugubrion gets much use from the fishing
rod he gave him)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Hey, everyone loves dwarfs. :)"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "why would you need to hide it?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Because it's our home"
Wangah Rah says, "and said he would discuss it and see if
some way amulets could be disrupted in greater abundance."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "we too have a home"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "And I've not invaded yours"
Hoggle is no longer Clanning.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, just 2 of your brothers"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Oh?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Do you have proof of this
accusation?"
Azel asks, "So how do I get back?"
Jo Ma'ril asks, "Wangah, can you open the door?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I personally witnessed Umbrion's
invasion of Puddleby"
Azel says, "To town"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "it was, he called it, a "warning""
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I am not my brother's keeper"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "we find a new island near our home,
and we provoke attack?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, but you are seeking credibility
from your brother's deeds"
Tenebrion asks, "What would you offer instead of metal
Wangah Rah?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You may deal with him on this
issue"
Wangah Rah says, "I offer yi the service of testing with
them."
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What reason do we have to trust
you?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, you do not think our deal
is good enough?"
Rieger thinks, "is up again"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What trust?"
Wangah Rah says, "With more amulets, this would be greatly
expediated."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "A deal is a deal"
Wangah Rah says, "I fear between yi and Cimmbrion's
experiments, I don't have enough."
Tenebrion asks, "And you would have me bear the cost of
your mistakes alone?"

Hidden Risks

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You present six stones...."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We think the deal is fine, but we
fear hidden risks."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We open the portal"
(Wangah Rah raises an eyebrow.)
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "How may I assuage your fears?"
Wangah Rah asks, "What mistakes do yi speak of?"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "and what would you require the
stomes first?"
Tenebrion says, "I have never broken my amulet. You are
asking me to pay for your mistakes."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "by explaining your motives"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "and proving them to be true"
(Melabrion laughs)
Wangah Rah says, "Yi have said yi believed risk must be
taken for reward."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What do you think our motives
are?"
Wangah Rah says, "It is your choice, of course."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "They are more simple than you
imagine"
Wangah Rah says, "It would greatly speed the mapping
project."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I can only say that our world is
one frought with evil."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "And you are related to it."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I see"
(Wangah Rah nods to Jo)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "So, you've no real argument
here."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Just distrust of all?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "No, not at all"
(Wangah Rah nods thoughtfully.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have some reason to distrust
your brothers"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Caution. simple as that"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Let's start small"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "You don't go giving away purgatory
pendants"
Tenebrion says, "I already face substantial risk by
assisting your people to become more familiar with the Ethereal Plane."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "or your purgatory could be in
danger"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You bring me one stone, and
I'll give you this..."
(Wangah Rah nods.)
Jo Ma'ril asks, "Then why assist us?"
Melabrion shows his ethereal portal stone to Tarf.
Tenebrion says, "You could do great harm there."
Wangah Rah says, "I suppose the answer be no then."

A Fair Deal?

Jo Ma'ril asks, "What do you get out of it?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "You bring me six and I'll
create one that is permanent"
Tenebrion says, "Because, Jo Maril, I believe you might
assist me and that makes the risk worthwhile."
Jo Ma'ril asks, "I see, and what kind of assistance do you
need?"
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "And what will be done with the
stones?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I feel the deal is fair
considering the work and ordeal involved on our end"
Jo Ma'ril says, "You and your brothers seem very
capable..."
Wangah Rah says, "I asked him to provide more amulets,
Jo."
Tenebrion says, "You have more easy access to certain
areas of the world than I."
Wangah Rah says, "But he thinks the risk is too great."
Jo Ma'ril ponders, ""easy""
Wangah Rah says, "Pardon, Tenebrion. I shall be right
back."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I need to test them"
Sparrow thinks, "Night Hepta"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "To see if they're even of use"
Tenebrion says, "I have no interest in fighting orgas. I
need you to collect their teleportation stones for me."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, from what I've seen, they
do hold promise"
Tenebrion says, "As one small example."
(Jo Ma'ril nods.)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Promise for what?"
Jo Ma'ril says, "I understand...but many exiles don't
trust you because they don't see how the "deal" works for you"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I think the abilities of
teleporation are within our grasp"
Tenebrion says, "Your scholars can travel the world and
map the ether activity. A pursuit I do not have time for."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "But no power comes without great
cost"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Somehow, those stones hold
answers to this puzzle"
Lex says, "hello"
Jo Ma'ril says, "'lo."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "We are willing to pay the
costs"

Tarf's Past Comes Up

Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What price are you willing to pay?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I see."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "if your assumption is even
valid"
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "Ends justify the means, eh?"
Tenebrion says, "Tarf, I do not often see you here."
(Wangah Rah smiles nervously.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "But we are not sure what the cost
is and if we are willing to pay."
Jo Ma'ril says, "He's too busy drinking beer"
(Tarf scowls at Teeny Brain.)
Tenebrion says, "And murdering ambassadors."
Jo Ma'ril says, "oh that too"
(Wangah Rah grimaces.)
(Tarf looks proud.)
Tenebrion says, "I must leave for a while."
Tenebrion says, "Farewell."
Wangah Rah says, "Tenebrion"
(Jo Ma'ril waves.)
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "What about that gem you hold?"
(Melabrion smiles)
Jo Ma'ril asks, "hmm, are you selling Earthstones,
Melabrion?"
(Nunul marvels at Melabrion's gem)
Lex asks, "what's an earthstone?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, will you allow me to
present my case to your leaders?"
Jo Ma'ril exclaims, "'s what Rutabaga sells!"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Much has happened since exiles met
your brothers. Very little of it has been good."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Or, will you hinder my
attempts?"
Jo Ma'ril says, "he says they're uh important or
something"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I do not speak for all dorfs"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "So I shall not make a decision"
(Melabrion nods)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "and it would not be right"
Jo Ma'ril says, "It's much better from his mouth"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We will be happy to encourage more
talks."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "for me to hinder their ability to
decide for themselves"
(Melabrion nods)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "What you ask for would take
much work on our end, if we did agree."

Gifts

Tarf says in Dwarven, "We will discuss what we have
obser..er...talked about this evening without dwarven brothers"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I understand"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I've already offered gifts to
smooth the way."
(Melabrion grins)
Nunul thinks to you, "does he still speak of the
teleportation stones?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "In fact...."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gifts, Mr. Melon, are not what
concerns my people."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Dwarfs are rarely of one mind
about anything except beer. :)"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I've been promised some Stout
for my gift"
Melabrion shows his beer keg to you.
Lex says, "heh"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That was my gift"
(Nunul slalivates)
(Melabrion grins)
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "You call that beer?"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Oh, he's got them under control now."
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Bribes?"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Sylvan beer, blech."
(Wangah Rah plays doorman again)
You show your cask of honey ale to Melabrion.
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Sylvan!"
Nunul shows his cup of eggnog to everyone.
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Bite your tongue!"
(Gimli chuckles)
(Tarf laughs)

Dwarven Servants?

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "My dwarven servants made this
for me"
Gimli exclaims in Dwarven, "!"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "Servants?"
Jo Ma'ril takes a drink from his bottle of water.
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Dwarven servants?"
(Tarf shakes his head as if he saw that coming.)
Habbakuk Lal says, "Dwarven servants eh ..."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Of course"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I associate myself only with
noble people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "And Kalian"
Lex says, "brb"
(Melabrion grins)
(Lex takes a nap)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "He is my servant amongst your
people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But I see him little now"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "You make servants out of dwarfs,
this will help your cause."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I do need to choose another, I
fear"
Habbakuk Lal exclaims in Dwarven, "No Dwarf would ever be
a servant to a Sylvan!"
(Melabrion laughs)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I haven't been a Sylvan in
longer than you can imagine"
Habbakuk Lal asks in Dwarven, "A slave perhaps?"
(Melabrion frowns)
Tarf asks in Dwarven, "In all this time you still haven't
figured out how to make yourself less ugly?"
(Wangah Rah squirms.)
Tarf says in Dwarven, "I don't mean that as an insult, it
was a serious question :)"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, some magic isn't worth
tampering with"
(Melabrion chuckles)
Jo Ma'ril ponders, "Dark Knight"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Aye, that is what we fear"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I fear that I've been this way
for so long that I'd not know what to do otherwise"
Kevin is now Clanning.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "My heart is dwarven"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "That is good enough"
Jo Ma'ril says, "'lo."
(Melabrion looks)
Morvannic says, "hello"
Dude is now Clanning.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Your town sure attracts many
Sylvans"
Lex ponders, "ZZzzzzz......."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Blech."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "That's why the beer tastes like
swine water"
Melabrion exclaims in Dwarven, "Then give me some better!"

A Trade of Fellowship

Tarf says in Dwarven, "Gimli here is the best brewer in
the Lok Grotons"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Lord Gimli, I'll trade you an
Ethereal Amulet for that Ale"
Astral Duck is now Clanning.
(Tarf chuckles.)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Think of this as....a trade of
fellowship"
You offer a cask of honey ale to Melabrion for free.
\SELL /cancel to cancel the offer.
You hand Melabrion a cask of honey ale.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "It is a trade."
• Melabrion offers you an Ethereal Amulet for free.
To accept, \BUY 0 Melabrion.
Melabrion hands you an Ethereal Amulet.
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "There"
(Gimli nods)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Perhaps a mystic can use it to
help my brothers map the Ether"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I recommend a DWARVEN mystic"
(Melabrion winks)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Of course"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "But, it is up to you"
(Wangah Rah winks at Melabrion.)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "We have several in our clan"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Good"
Habbakuk Lal says, "Raldin perhaps."
Lex ponders, "ZZzzzzz......."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "yes but only 1 full I believe"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I look forward to meeting
them"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "They will have questions for you I
am sure"
(Melabrion nods)

Melabrion Asks About the Bloodblade

Melabrion says in Dwarven, "One more thing before I go"
Gimli asks in Dwarven, "Aye?"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Tell me more about this
bloodblade that I've been given"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What does one use it for?"
Melabrion shows his bloodblade to you.
Tarf says in Dwarven, "To draw upon your body to inflict
greater damage"
Bon Temps thinks, "Dunno, can you? :D"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It is a weapon."
Tarf says in Dwarven, "it is used by warriors"
Nunul ponders, "a healer with a bloodblade?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "So, it draws from your life
force to power the sword?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It takes skill to use it well"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Something like that, aye."
Melabrion ponders, "Interesting"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What are its components? Who
makes it?"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "May I speak with them?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "That I know not..."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It is made with a dagger and a
moonstone"
Lex ponders, "...zzzzZZZZzzz"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "That is all?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "It takes great skill to use"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "What are the rituals that bind
the two?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "A moonstone is a tricky thing for
a fighter to hold."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "From whence comes this power
to bind the two?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Only the strongest fighters can use
it, and only then after months if not years of training"
Melabrion ponders, "Interesting"
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "May I speak with the smith?"
(Wangah Rah scratches his head.)
(Wangah Rah takes a quick nap)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "He is in the savanna."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "I take it that that is far?"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "He does not leave his cave as far
as I know."
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "From here, yes."
Melabrion asks in Dwarven, "Perhaps one of you could draw
me a map?"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "Ask your brother, he has an
unscrupulous alliance with the t'rools. He'll know of the savannah"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "I could dispatch a servant
there"
(Wangah Rah coughs.)
Lex says, "Funny that a sylvan only speaks dwarven"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Perhaps"
Lex says, "yeah and regular way out will be tough"
(Melabrion nods)
Gimli says in Dwarven, "It may be easier to work on one
deal at a time."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Understood"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, I should attend my
experiments"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "We could always show you
the way there."
Gimli says in Dwarven, "There are many things about the
islands we do not fully understand"
(Melabrion grins)
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Perhaps another time, Habbakuk
Lal"
Gimli says in Dwarven, "And I am not talking about just
the women"
(Melabrion laughs)
Tarf ponders, "Like why did we build a brewery on the
darshak side of the island?"
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Maybe he's too scared to
leave his protection."
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Well, I need to go to my
experiments"
You just received good karma from Melabrion, Thank you for
your service.
Gimli says in Dwarven, "Aye, hopefully we will speak
again"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "Please keep me informed of
your progress with the meeting"
Tarf says in Dwarven, "We will discuss your offer with our
people"
Melabrion says in Dwarven, "very well"
Geneva is now Clanning.
(Tarf waves, trying not to spill his beer.)
Habbakuk Lal says in Dwarven, "Thank you for your time."
(Melabrion waves)

#####
EXILE ON THE STREET
BY CHARLOS

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Entil'Zha says, "Hm, sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Entil'Zha"
Charlos asks, "Entil'Zha, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "I got my very own cellophane-wrapped Ba'alzamon!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "slippers!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "I think maybe 10... no wait! As many ranks as a
rankwhore could whore if a rankwhore could whore ranks!"

Deadmeat says, "Um, sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Deadmeat"
Charlos asks, "Deadmeat, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I didn't get the Puddleby Farms Mystic Brains
snack assortment I wanted..."
Deadmeat says, "but I'm not complaining about the skeleton I got. It's
in my closet."
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Deadmeat says, "Shoes."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank
if a rankwhore whored for ranks?"
Deadmeat asks, "All of them?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
You gave good karma to Deadmeat.

(Bizob greets Charlos with a Zo headbutt)
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Bizob says, "heh"
Bizob says, "you know me"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Bizob"
Charlos asks, "Bizob, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Bizob says, "I got the first harrius potterus scroll"
(Bizob thinks)
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Bizob says, "I'm a shoe man"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Bizob says, "I'm only partially a rank whore"
Bizob says, "hard to say"
Bizob says, ":]"
Charlos exclaims, "good to see ya!"

Charlos says, "I'm here with Cecil"
Charlos asks, "Cecil, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Cecil says, "beer bread and candy club"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Cecil says, "black boots"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Cecil says, "as many as me"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Omni says, "hehe"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Omni"
Charlos asks, "Omni, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Bizob ponders, "dorf on the brizambles..."
Omni says, "Well, I actually got an early Bawkmas present.."
(Omni points to his belt.)
Bizob says, "heh, congratulations"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Omni exclaims, "I wear my taintless shoes!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Omni says, "Let me think about that question.."
Omni ponders, "As much as Cecil?"
Cecil says, "lol"
Cecil exclaims, "that was my answer!"
Cecil exclaims, "as much as me!"
Cecil says, "lol"
Omni exclaims, "Sounds right to me!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Kensington, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
(Kensington thooms)
Kensington exclaims, "Nothin!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Super Chicken asks, "what about you, Charlos?"
Kensington says, "slippers, of course"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Kensington says, "Hm, that's a toughie"
Super Chicken says, "14.6"
Kensington says, "That sounds good"
Kensington exclaims, "14.6!"
Super Chicken says, "bawk"
Charlos says, "pipe down Chicken you'll have yer chance"
Kensington says, "=D"
Charlos says, "ok"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with SuperChicken"
Charlos asks, "SuperChicken, what did you get for
Bawkmas?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "I got I got!"
Super Chicken shows his candy club to everyone.
Kensington says, "ooh."
Super Chicken asks, "and what did you get for Bawkmas, Charlos?"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Charlos says, "I'm askin' the questions here buddy"
Super Chicken exclaims, "slippers! pink bunny slippers!"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Super Chicken asks, "14.6?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Super Chicken says, "bawk"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
(Ayella chuckles.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Sure Charlos!"
Luna says, "Hello"
(Kirth Gersen smiles.)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Kirth Gersen"
Charlos asks, "Kirth Gersen, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Kirth Gersen says, "A load of money from Santa...and..."
Kirth Gersen shows his candy club to everyone.
(Kirth Gersen smiles warmly.)
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Kirth Gersen says, "Shoes, of course."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
(Ayella giggles.)
Kirth Gersen asks, "May I pass on that one...?"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
(Ayella laughs.)
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Kirth Gersen chuckles.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thank you!"
Luna says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Luna"
Charlos asks, "Luna, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Luna says, "A wave of unholiness from Tenebrion"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Luna says, "neither, calf boots"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Luna says, "one million"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Luna curtsies)
(Kirth Gersen chuckles.)
(Ayella chuckles.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap?
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Ayella says, "Of course."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Ayella"
Charlos asks, "Ayella, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
(Ayella smiles grimly.)
Ayella says, "Beer bread."
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Ayella says, "Both."
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
(Luna giggles.)
Ayella asks, "as many as they felt like ranking?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap? Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Ayella ponders, "That has to be a trick question.."
Delirium says, "ok :)"
(Kirth Gersen nods)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Delirium"
Charlos asks, "Delirium, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Ayella ponders, "I mean.. who does not wear slippers?!"
Delirium says, "A long winter's nap"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
(Ayella giggles.)
Delirium says, "I glued them to my feet"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Delirium asks, "what did you call me???"
(Kirth Gersen laughs.)
Delirium conks Charlos with a greymyr rock candy.
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Ayella laughs!!)
(Luna nods.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "That's the way Deli!"
Ayella says, "Definitely the best answer."

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap? Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Tara says, "urr... sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Tara"
Charlos asks, "Tara, what did you get for Bawkmas?"
Super Chicken ponders, "not ah horsey"
Tara exclaims, "Bread, Beer bread!"
Charlos asks, "Do you wear shoes or slippers?"
Tara says, "red thigh high boots 8-}"
Charlos asks, "How many ranks could a rankwhore rank if a rankwhore
whored for ranks?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "14.6!"
Tara asks, "14.6 ?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Astor ponders, "heh!"
Tara says, ": )"
Cecil says, "I have a question for you, Charlos"
Kensington says, "14.6 seems to be a popular answer"
Charlos says, "I got a keg of honey ale from Santa, SC ß-)"

#####
THE TWELVE DAYS OF BAWKMAS

Sent to Fishwrap by Aravir Eldanar

(Editor's Note: I forgot to include this in the last Fishwrap. I think
I'd had a little too much fishnog and left out a page. Anyway, I liked
it and wanted to include it, even though it's a little late.
  - Para)

By The Snowy Place Singers (Rooster, WorldWalker, Clio, Aravir, Draven,
and Ja Skew)

On the twelfth day of Bawkmas my true love gave to me
Twelve pairs of shoes
Eleven annoying snerts
Ten ranks of Mentus
Nine kegs of beer
Eight Dwarves a drinking
Seven Undines a moaning
Six flutterbys fluttering
Five 'Brion Brothers
Four Maha Rukhnees
Three running rats
Two giant vermine
And a scavenger bird in a dead tree!

#####
CONJURING TODAY
BY MERLISK THE THOOM

Thanks to everyone who helped Wangah Rah and me get our most important
spell component - the heart of an Orga Hatred!

A few days ago, we were kindly invited by Rieger to attend a short
excursion into the Orga Outback. After a heart-pounding run through
Hatred's Hollow (or, lack-of-Hatred's Hollow), we hunted OOB while
proceeding to the Orga Village.

In one of the many snells in the Outback, we found a Hatred. After
badly wounding it, it must've sensed what Wangah and I wanted to do
because it summoned about 10 Zerks to attack us. Ack! Fortunately, our
fighters handled the Zerks while the healers rodded the hatred. The
mystics Wangah and Shadowearth saved the day by boosting the fighters
enough that they reliably hit the Hatred.

Wangah then removed the still beating heart and placed it in a
container that I had specially prepared. The heart beats still.

Once I finish translating the spell in my Auntie's book, we'll be ready
to finish our final spell. If anyone has any old books on archaic
Thoom, I'd love to borrow them.

We *WILL* summon an intelligent Orga that will tell us the secrets as
to the location of their Stronghold and the location of our catapult!

Thanks again to all that helped. Give us some time to finish the
preparations and we'll finally learn their secrets!

Summoningly yours,
Merlisk

#####
INTERVIEW WITH MARSH HERMIT
BY MARTILAN

Martilan: "Tell me about Trillbane."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane hated Midnight Wendeckas. Trillbane lived in
the mountains."
Martilan: "Will you tell me where Trillbane is?"
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane travels a lot. I haven't seen Trillbane for a
long time."
Martilan: "Tell me more about Trillbane."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane is a great swimmer. Why do you want to know
about Trillbane?"
Martilan: "Have you ever met Trillbane? I want to find Trillbane"
Marsh Hermit: "I'm a skilled pathfinder."
Martilan: "Tell me about library."
Marsh Hermit: "I hear there's a library in Puddleby."
Martilan: "Tell me about Trillbane's library."
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane collected rare books."
Martilan: "Where is Trillbane?"
Marsh Hermit: "Trillbane might be dead."
Martilan: "Is Trillbane dead?"
Marsh Hermit: "No idea."
Martilan: "Do you like Trillbane?"
Marsh Hermit: "No. Trillbane is a lousy father."
Martilan: "Tell me about Gaeyl."
Marsh Hermit: "Gael is a great pathfinder."
Martilan: "Do you know where Gaeyl is?"
Marsh Hermit: "I'm not sure where she is."
Martilan: "Do you like Gaeyl?"
Marsh Hermit: "Yes."
Martilan: "Do you love her?"
Marsh Hermit: "I haven't for a while."
Martilan: "Thank you."
Marsh Hermit: "You're welcome."
Marsh Hermit: "Anytime."

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith,
Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####
Sail away, away
Ripples never come back.
They've gone to the other side.
Look into the pool,
Ripples never come back,
Dive to the bottom and go to the top
To see where they have gone
Oh, they've gone to the other side...

"Ripples"
- Genesis, "Trick of the Tail"

It's once again time to get your submissions in for the next issue of
Fishwrap magazine. As always, Fishwrap is looking for news,
interviews, articles, biographies, and fiction about life in Puddleby.
We could use some more Clan Profiles this time around, certainly.

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Bawkmas Season Edition"

Issue #46: "One Lump, or Two?"
[December 31, 2001]
Circulation: 180

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* Dandelion and Ledward Vicious wedding
* Five questions with Kirth Gersen
* Guide to sparkle stones
* Wangah Rah on ether mapping
* Dews in the Outpost
* Kala Sahar and the Separ
* Sleipnir's holiday poetry

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* New discovery on Ash Island
* Passes rearranged; new snowy area north of town.
* Scaramis beetles attack
* Zorton gets a stone
* The Separ cures exiles
* Eastern Foothills waterfall passed; more Noids beyond
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Babajaga's account of being dewed
* Exploring Tenebrion's Island
* Hunting with Rising Claw
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Decorations for Bawkmas
* Potatoes
* Cold and Snowy
* A huge Lyfelidae idol
* Merlisk turns green
* Hunting for Qual
* Sinkhole by the bards' field
* Tenebrion's tower
* Massive earthquake and realignment of the Greymyr Village area
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Tenebrion's mysterious servant
* More on the Ethereal Survey of Puddleby
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* Harfoot returns
* Lugubrion's keep discovered
* Discovery of the Scaramis Pen
* Tenebrion's two-way portal
* Malkor nibbled by vermine
* Keeman comes to town
* Ethereal massacre
* New bards, passes, and potatoes
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT

Dandelion
and
Ledward Vicious

invite you to their wedding
Merdi, 40 Summer, 544, 1am
(OOC: 1PM PST, 01 Jan., '02)
in the Bards' Field
Bards & Refreshments Served

Clothing optional
No gifts, please
Bones the Thoom (of Rising Claw and ThoomCare) presiding

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

Hello and welcome to News from the Fen Bureau. The latest chaos storm
has brought some interesting changes to the lands and I shall attempt
to detail some of them here.

* Hieskor will sell you a sparkle stone for a varying price next to the
Colloseum in the east part of town. Kirth Gersen has an excellent page
about the effects and what the stones do at

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/hieskor.html

The rest of his scroll is pretty neat too.

* The lockers have been updated to now accept clothing. A model shows
what color the clothes item is so you can decide whether to take it out
of storage.

* Getting info on someone provides you a great deal of information if
you are on the same area as they are. You can now see what they are
wearing on every part of their body such as their clothes, sunstone,
necklaces, rings, weapons, belt, etc.

* The Sylvan Outpost is still closed but at least the local sylvan has
the good sense to be apologetic about the delay and promises that it
will open soon.

* You can now make a 12-slice birthday cake which takes wheat, 2 jars
of honey, egg, and 50c for decorations. I'm not sure how many lessons
with Zeucros it takes to learn how to make the cake but it seems
relatively easy to find the ingredients.

* Kala Sahar has been making some apperances in town and elsewhere with
information about Qual and the dews that have affected many of our
fellow exiles. The results of being dewed include a change in one's
behavior and in one's every action being transmitted back to a
collective of some sorts. Kala spoke in town and wished to speak to
Tessa who has been investigating the dews and how to remove them.
Unfortunately, Tessa was in the library so Kala showed us a Separ and
left without saying very much. What was strange is that both Aldernon
and Hex started shivering when they were close to Kala. Kala explained
that the collective must know where she is, probably because both
Aldernon and Hex are dewed, and so that's why they reacted badly to
being close to her. Another possible explanation is that the Separ she
carried could be a key to removing the dews or even destroying the
source of this potential threat to our town. It does seem that Puddleby
is beset by enemies from all sides.

* There are small trees in the Orchard north of the North Fields which
are a nice touch.

* Odesseus was sued by Zen for mispronouncing Slyph's name as Sleef.
Fen'neko have a hard time pronouncing certain sounds and so to sue
Odesseus for this difficulty that is beyond the Fen's ability to
correct is quite shocking. Fortunately, the suit was pronounced as
frivolous and Zen put in jail.

* There are still lots of museum spots that haven't be filled with
museum pieces. I wonder why a person would spend thousands of coins for
a museum spot if they aren't even going to put anything there.

* There are now more transitions from one snell, such as going from
either the north or south beach from the west part of town. It's a
small point but it really does look a lot better.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Thoom Aldynes is now a fourth circle healer.

ThoomCare is pleased to announce Larno has joined the clan.

ThoomCare associate member Merlisk is undergoing some sort of green
transformation.

I'm working on a book project:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Misc/thoombook.gif

Clanlords.com is back!
http://www.clanlords.com

Check out Kirth Gersen's Journal
http://kirth.puddleby.dk/

A cold and snowy region has been discovered on the west side of the
snell south of the orchard.

ThoomCare members (and others interested in contemporary Thoom affairs)
should be sure to read the Thoom Mailing List:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

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Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'?

Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs.

Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in common, dwarven, or sylvan!

Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the
symbol of the Dwarven Militia.
She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a
sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants.
(got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!)

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW

FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KIRTH GERSEN
BY JEANNE

Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "Could you tell me your impressions of the town of
Puddleby?"

(Kirth Gersen smiles beamingly!)
(Kirth Gersen thinks hard... impressions...)
Kirth Gersen says, "Diverse..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Eclectic..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Divided..."
Kirth Gersen says, "but..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Friendly!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen says, "The residents of Puddleby are very varied, as well
ethnically, religiously, and politically..."
Kirth Gersen says, "This is exciting! And cause for friction."
Kirth Gersen says, "Which is why we have some big rifts in our midst...
The loyalists being the least problematic..."
Kirth Gersen says, "But, after all, most of us are quite friendly and
eager to help each other and the new exiles."
Kirth Gersen says, "This is the first and lasting impression of the
exiles here..."
Kirth Gersen says, "The eagerness and sincerity of helping people."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "That is what inspired me!"

-----------
Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "Have the exiles done anything to make you feel welcome or
has getting help been difficult?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Tricky question, actually, despite what I
said!"
Kirth Gersen says, "There have been times when help has been far away."
Kirth Gersen says, "And when helpfulness and kindness was not on the
agenda of fellow exiles..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Once, I was fallen for quite some time inside the
walls, just by East Gate."
Kirth Gersen says, "Several friends, fighters and a mystic, waited for
healers to arrive..."
Kirth Gersen says, "None came."
Kirth Gersen says, "Even though several were in town center..."
Kirth Gersen says, "I can understand why people refer to some of my
profession as 'lazy towne healers'..."
(Kirth Gersen sighs)
Kirth Gersen says, "But, that was a one off..."
Kirth Gersen says, "Also..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "this inspired me to do better!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen says, "Which is good."
Kirth Gersen says, "Another "bad" incident..."
Kirth Gersen says, "I met a few fighters referring to healers as money
drainers..."
(Kirth Gersen laughs)
Kirth Gersen says, "The reasoning behind this is muddled..."
Kirth Gersen says, "It made me quite angry at the time, but I have
overcome it since."
(Kirth Gersen shrugs.)

----------------
Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne says, "Could you talk a bit about your study of biothaumaturgy?
It sounds from your scrolls as if you were studying the concept of life
beyond death."

Kirth Gersen says, "Oh, yes, biothaumaturgy..."
Kirth Gersen says, "That is a very important part of my past."
Kirth Gersen says, "As you know, I was a teacher and researcher at the
university of Hyrios (mainland)."
Kirth Gersen says, "At the department of biothaumaturgy, we studied the
science of what we here call Healing."
Kirth Gersen says, "The word biothaumaturgy consists of the word
biology, and thaumaturgy."
Kirth Gersen says, "Back in Hyrios, the work at the department was very
focused on what we called "borderline" state of being."
Kirth Gersen says, "Here, we simply refer to is at 'fallen.'"
Kirth Gersen says, "I see myself, here, as a follower of master Horus,
and mostly, lord Koric."
Kirth Gersen says, "To continue their work, and fuse into it the
research from my past research in Hyrios."
Kirth Gersen says, "That would be a more scientific approach to the
subject, methinks."
Kirth Gersen says, "I will have to gather my material and present it
when ready."
Kirth Gersen says, "I am still learning the basics from lord Koric
right now."
Kirth Gersen says, "So, the time of fusing of knowledge is a bit ahead
in time..."
Kirth Gersen says, "He says I am progressing well..."
(Kirth Gersen beams proudly.)
Kirth Gersen says, "BUT..."
Kirth Gersen says, "There is a fine line here between Necromanic Arts
and what I am interested in."
Kirth Gersen says, "I am aware of this, and I have to work very hard to
keep the subject pure."
(Kirth Gersen looks serious.)

Jeanne asks, "How are raising the fallen and necromanic arts related?"

Kirth Gersen says, "The difference is philosophical and
thaumaturgical...."
Kirth Gersen says, "But with the same starting material (fallen body,
loose spirit) you can create both things."

Jeanne asks, "but the methods are different, are they not?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Aye! Very different!"
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "And at the same time soooo close!"

Jeanne says, "ah, just like cooking"

Kirth Gersen says, "Aye..."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Very much so!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thanks for the analogy!"
(Kirth Gersen smiles warmly.)
(Kirth Gersen smiles and tastes the metaphor...)

-----------
Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "Dreams seem to have a important role in your life. Do you
think that dreams can have messages or warnings that we should listen
to?"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Oh yes!!!"
Kirth Gersen says, "I am myself starting to learn more about this."
Kirth Gersen says, "I don't really remember any dreams from before
being exiled."
Kirth Gersen says, "They started becoming very vivid when I came here,
though."
Kirth Gersen says, "So, being a scholar, I started writing them down...
and making sketches."
Kirth Gersen says, "Now, I have discussed my dreams with several other
exiles, and I think I do get a lot of help from listening to them."
Kirth Gersen says, "What and why may not be clear until long after the
dream..."
(Kirth Gersen smiles a careful smile.)

Jeanne asks, "So you think that dreams do have meaning but
understanding what that is can be difficult due to the symbology dreams
use?"

(Kirth Gersen nods.)
Kirth Gersen says, "Aye. And we need other people's help to interpret
and understand."
Kirth Gersen says, "It is always difficult to see your own life in
perspective."

---------
Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "Do you have any long-term goals during your stay in
Puddleby?"

Kirth Gersen says, "Aye."
Kirth Gersen says, "For one thing, I want to persue biothaumaturgical
science here, as I told you earlier."
Kirth Gersen says, "Another is to become a trusted and valued member of
a clan."
Kirth Gersen says, "Yet another is to help collecting knowledge about
things, places, beings here in Lok'Groton."
Kirth Gersen says, "Like my scroll on Hieskor and the sparkle stones."
Kirth Gersen ponders, "And I want to become RICH!"

----------
Jeanne says, "Now you can ask the Fishwrap reporter ONE (1) question."

(Kirth Gersen thinks hard.)
Kirth Gersen asks, "Are you ticklish there?"
(Kirth Gersen points at the tip of the reporter's tail.)
(Kirth Gersen grins.)

Jeanne exclaims, "Eek!"
Jeanne says, "yes, that's why this cloak is so handy"
Jeanne says, "you have no idea how often vermine liked to nibble at my
tail"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Ouch!"

Jeanne says, "boloks and artaks and orga"
Jeanne says, "I would be walking along and...."
Jeanne says, "*bite*"
Jeanne says, "this cloak keeps my tail hidden so it doesn't get bitten"

Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Yikes!!!"
(Kirth Gersen grins.)
(Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Good thing!"

Jeanne exclaims, "I think so too!"
Jeanne says, "I'd hate to have a mangled tail."

(Kirth Gersen smiles beamingly!)
Kirth Gersen says, "Aye... that'd be bad."
Kirth Gersen exclaims, "Thanks for an excellent answer!"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Sun Dragon Clan presents

A Comic Strip Contest

It all began with the fall of a whole distant country, called Edaria.

Its inhabitants and us seemed to lead quite similar lives.

It is unsure whether it was an island, whether it sudddenly sunk or was
invaded.

What is sure is that it abruptly stopped existing.

Soon after that, waves of refugees hit our shores, all of them very
weak and speaking with a strong accent.

Puddleby welcomed them like it did to us, and they started a new exile
life.

This contest is dedicated to Edarians, so that we don't forget, learn
more about them and help them in return.

See the entries and full rules at the Sun Dragon Clan scroll:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/

Contest ends OOC February 1, 2002.

#####
* FISHWRAP TOP 10 *

Top 10 Medical Excuses of Exiles:

10. "There's a lump in my inventory"
  9. Orga burn
  8. Purple Tor Inn rash
  7. Caduceus elbow
  6. Panther bite
  5. River Tunnel Syndrome
  4. Hairball (fens only)
  3. Grass burns from being chained
  2. "I've fallen and I can't get up"
  1. Super Chicken pox

#####
ART CONTEST

The Garkazian Order and Sir Goric invites everyone to view the results
from the 1st "Life in Exile" Art contest.

http://www.altegos.com/contest/submissions.php

Sir Goric for the Gakazian order

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Black Unicorn clan

Origin of The Black Unicorn
Several hundred years ago an ancient faith of the most holy order lie
in a secluded valley within the kingdom of S'pire. Peace and
tranquility prevailed.

Until the raids started. The neighboring kingdom of Darlank, under the
tyranny of their self-appointed King Merlos, became jealous of S'pires
wealth. Month after month, Merlos's men would sweep the mostly
undefended smaller border villages of S'pire, pillaging and raising all
that lived there; carefully weaving a path of destruction around the
well guarded citadels, always fleeing across the border again when
reinforcements arrived, safe in the knowledge that the mostly peaceful
people of S'pire would not strike back against the kingdom of Darlank
within their own bounds.

The Church of the Five Faiths was among these. Time and time again this
small faith would be at the mercy of evil forces, and its once
prosperous following dwindled, almost driven to the point of
extinction.

One autumn day, again the Church of the Five Faiths was left in near
ruins, everything the people held in faith destroyed. With heavy hearts
the remaining faithfuls started to rebuild everything they believed in.

It was then, that one man stopped. He stood and gazed vacantly at the
sky for a moment, and then, boldly, confidently, started to speak. "How
much longer are we going to allow ourselves to be destroyed? How many
times are we going to let them take what we hold so dear, and not raise
so much as a hand? How many times are we going to rebuild our lives
again for no reason, and pretend that it won't happen again?" "No
more!!!" He paused, and picked up a sword that lie in the ruins.
[Picking up a weapon of destruction was strictly against the faith].
"From this point on, I am going to fight for what I believe in, to
defend all that is good and sacred, to see that the shadows of evil
never again cast themselves across these shattered walls, that we shall
no longer live in fear. Now who will join me?"

Several members of the faith responded, and at that point they started
a legend, a small band of men and women, training intensely in combat
and the mystic arts, but following their respective sacred beliefs in
as much influence, learning from all around them. And as their
successes grew, so did their numbers. Slowly but surely they started
chapters in other villages, defender the inhabitants from suffering the
fate of friends and family, fallen to the blades of greed. Unafraid to
do what is necessary to protect the innocent, and to uphold the rights
of the free. And from the ashes of the Five Faiths, they came to be
known by their own name, the Black Unicorn.

Thoughout the hundreds of years of The Black Unicorn's history, this
legend has been passed down from one initiate to another, and now to
you...

Find out more about the Black Unicorn here:

http://thematrix.com/~noivad/

#####
HIESKOR'S SPARKLE STONES: A SHORT REPORT
BY KIRTH GERSEN (kirth_gersen@...)

* Introduction

These are my writings regarding the sparkle stones of Hieskor. I have
taken upon myself to gather information about the sylvan Hieskor, his
sparkle stones, and their origin. By no account do I own the complete
picture. This is an account of the State of the Stones, as I know it.

There are some facts known about the stones, and some theories
developed around them. In this account I relate the facts first, and
then I present the theories. The big and central question is still
unanswered: are the stones no more than overpriced luxury gadgets, or,
are they actually something useful and important?

* Facts

This is what we know about Hieskor and his stones. These facts are
gathered from Hieskor's own stories and based on actual, scientific
experimental facts.

I do not know exactly when Hieskor arrived to Puddleby. I know for a
fact, though, that he was rather newly arrived on the 81st day of
Autumn 543. I first saw him and heard his stories when he discussed his
stones with Elenis Reyav in the Town Square that very day. Judging by
his comments on everyday life in Puddleby, he had arrived just one day
earlier (80th Day of Autumn that is). (Hieskor says, "I am here and
there. I was staying at the Purple Tor Inn, but only paid for one
night.")

The sylvan called Hieskor is (or rather, was?) the apprentice to a
Mystic called Coleron. According to Hieskor, Coleron's lab burnt to the
ground in an accident, and Hieskor managed to "rescue" the stones he
now has brought to Puddleby. (Hieskor says, "I ...uh... grabbed all I
could and took them, ...uh... for safekeeping.")

During Hieskor's first days in Puddleby, he walked about and talked to
us other exiles. Now he is less social and more businesslike. (This was
his intention from the beginning, Hieskor says, "Since I am so far from
home, and a bit lost, I hope to make a new home setting up shop, here."
and Hieskor says, "If all goes well, I will learn how to make these
myself, and can become a contributing member of society.") He is
currently in Puddleby selling these stones. The price varies a lot
depending on which exile tries to purchase one. A span of between 30
and 500 coins is reported! Somehow he knows that you already have one
on your body, so you need a friend to hold your stone, if you wish to
purchase additional ones...

* Sparkle Stone Use

When you use the stone, you sunstone a message to yourself (Kirth
Gersen thinks to you, "Go, go, go!!!"). By using the stone, you merely
place it in your hand and will it to start by gently squeezing it.

After that initial thought-message, the stone is active for a period of
exactly 2 OOC minutes. During the two OOC minutes, the user experiences
strange visual and aural hallucinations. Also, in the corner of your
eye you see numbers flickering.

During the period of activity, the speed of the counter and the
intensity of the aural and visual effects are dependent on your
actions. The more you run and dance, kill and jump, the more intense
the hallucinations, the quicker the counter rolls.

After the period of activity, you get the aural message ("Kirth Gersen
sees the number 1,702 glow on his sparkle stone!") What this means is
not at all understood. Many theories abound.

The last effect of the usage is that every stone crumbles to dust.
Depending on factors largely unknown, it may or may not reform into a
new stone ("The dust from Kirth Gersen's crumbled sparkle stone reforms
into a new one!")

There seems to be a relation between location and scoring. Nothing
really conclusive at the moment, but the Puddleby Monastery Training
Room is verified by two different exiles (Raymond Shifter and myself)
to be one such location (generating a score of over one million!). This
means that the scoring on the stone is not particular to a specific
sn'ell, but rather a very exact location. More of these locations are
believed to exist. Our fellow exile Nephilim has experimented with his
stone simply sitting down. This did, quite logically, not generate more
than 600 in the score. This verifies the hypothesis that activity is
vital to receiving a big score.

* Theories

My opinion is that the sparkle stones are of one of two possible
natures. Either

--The stones are mere phantoms, pretty phantasms, gaudy illusions,
luxury gadget, or
--The stones are really measuring something, and the aural and visual
effects are mere byproducts.

Which of these that is the truth, no one can tell right now. I do
believe that Hieskor himself does not know the answer. In the light of
the experiments conducted in the Puddleby Monastery Training Room, I do
believe that the stones are not merely pretty phantasms. There is some
kind of thaumaturgy embedded in the stones that take the surroundings
of the stone user into account.

* Outstanding questions

For my research and to further this subject for the sake of others,
there are a few outstandning issues and questions.

--Has any similar artifacts been researched earlier in the lands?
--Does the stone measure anything?
--What does the stone measure? Life Energy? Released Life Energy?
Spirit Exhalation?

Since the stone seems to react to movement (exertion) and killings, I
have been led to believe that it actually measures spent, or exhaled,
life energy.

I implore you, fellow exile, if you learn something about the sparkle
stones or Hieskor, let me know! Contact me in the lands, or send an
enchanted mail to Kirth Gersen. Thank you.

Further research is presented in the scrolls:

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/

#####
BARD CONTEST RESULTS
BY KLUR

I would like to congratulate Xel and Coriaken for winning the prize of
5500c for the contest that was started back on OOC 1/19/01. For more
details on the contest see

http://www.poguemahone.org/bard_contest.html

In the contest there where four performances held. I would encourage
everyone to request a private showing of each of the unique pieces.
They are all very good and each is very unique in different ways.

Puddleby has some very gifted artists and I hope we all find more ways
to encourage them to produce this type of work. Even those that didn't
win the prize still received 1000c.

On a side note, I put this together for a couple reasons. One was to
see what was possible with merging music and story. Based on what has
presented I would say a lot. The other hope I had for this was to
potentially find a bard that would join me on adventures to produce
stories loosely based on those adventures. I'm still searching for such
a bard. Some day I will find one.

Thanks again to all those that participated!

  - Klur

#####
SCROLL UPDATED

Well, I never thought it would happen... but I actually updated "Better
Living Through Fast Feet." I figured I might as well spruce it up a bit
for its third anniversary.

From the press release:

"A classic composition, both witty and funny, 'Better Living Through
Fast Feet' is a timeless collection of tips, hints, and gentle
instruction on how to maximize your time in the lands by staying
upright through the power of flight."

Man, I really have to get a better publicist.

Anyway, Fast Feet's been updated. If you've never been, stop by and
crash the server:

http://drennen.org/cl/

  - Nohn

#####
ETHER MAPPING
BY WANGAH RAH

Ether mapping!  The very name strikes fear into your heart, does it
not?  Well, perhaps not, but this is a subject that few are familiar
with but many should be. First of all, what exactly is ether?  I don't
know. I don't know if anyone knows the true answer to that yet, but we
do know it is the substance that makes up the Ethereal Plane. Some
fighters may recall fighting powerful clouds of ether...so yes, this is
potentially dangerous and deadly stuff.

Another question that comes to mind is how it got here. Perhaps a
puddleyear ago or so, Tenebrion frequently warned us of "a coming
storm", and more specifically of a leak of ether into Purgatory from
our many departs from the Ethereal Plane. I hesitate to assume that
this leak is gone...however, Umbrion did say it should heal itself much
as one's skin repairs itself. Due to decreased travel and departs from
the Ethereal Plane of late, I would like to think some of the damage
has been reversed. Has the ether leak healed itself completely? All
truth be told, no one can really know yet. I believe many of us
discount the potential danger involved. We should not be ignorant of
the ether that is currently in or that is flowing into our plane of
existence! Tenebrion himself said there would be possible danger to
even himself if we were to become overrun with ether and ethereal
creatures. (Though, he was quick to add, no permanent danger as he had
a place to hide in until the danger was past.)

How are we to measure the amount of ether we have in our lands, yi say?
I thought yi would ask that! The 'Brion brother Umbrion has developed
an instrument to allow exiles, specifically specially trained mystics,
to detect the amount of ether in a particular area. This device is
called an ethereal amulet. Currently, they are available in Tenebrion's
Keep in exchange for a single piece of metal. In order to use this
device, properly at least, a mystic must travel to Umbrion's Keep and
begin training with his thoomy servant Leladar. Ten agonizingly slow
ranks later, the amulet's readings change from the utterly confusing
vibrations and shifting colors to revealing if the level of ether in
the area is anywhere from dangerously low to dangerously high. However,
some believe there may be another trainer that will improve the
amulet's use even more. Tenebrion has said his brother Lugubrion has
another servant who can train in its use, but so far he has not been
available to discuss this.

Ah, and what good does this do us? Well, methinks it helps the 'Brions
out more than it helps us. They have requested we map out the levels of
ether in our lands. Every snell in every area on every island, to be
specific. Hopefully they will settle for slightly less than that, as we
have not even completely explored our island. The known lands should be
sufficient. Perhaps on the surface this job seems simple, but there is
more to it than it seems. Ether seems to fluctuate dramatically in very
short periods of time. One amulet reading may show there to be an
average amount of ether, while the next could yield an unusually high
amount, all in the space of a few seconds. However, with a good number
of readings, the average seems to indicate if there is a high, low, or
normal amount of ether. Therefore, several readings must be taken in
each snell. What complicates things even more is the frail nature of
these Ethereal Amulets. If used in one snell, they last for about three
uses. Using them to map out an area in a loop seems to extend their
life by a good amount. For example, I took a loop through the north
marsh, using the amulet once per snell. After this was completed and
the results recorded, I did this several more times. In the end, I had
used the amulet over fifteen times, as opposed to the maximum life of
four uses while mapping the underground while repeatedly using them in
the same snell.

How does this all apply to the average, everyday exile? Right now, not
all that much...though if a spawn of Astral Drakes came to town, your
day could be ruined fairly quickly. The only way to avoid hazardous
situations is to explore, map and try to find possible danger areas.
The best way to help us help yi is to donate metal pieces to the
mapping project. I don't know for certain everyone who is involved, so
ask around. Many amulets will be needed for this project!  There are
many snells to be tested, and many readings that must be taken. For
now, the most notable occurence has been in the marsh, in the dead tree
snell with the muddy yellow shirt seller. High levels of ether have
been detected there, as well as sightings of Ethereal Slugs. Be wary if
travelling in that area, and please report any findings over the
sunstone network, or in person to someone who can help. To date, the
east, south, north, and northwest forest have been mapped, along with
the Tangle and Snaggle woods, and the underground and marsh as well. A
few snells show slightly off readings...but there have been no strange
or ether related occurences there. My readings on Tenebrion's Isle have
shown consistently strange results in ever snell....the ether is
just...well....a bit strange and eerie. I'm not quite sure what it
means...perhaps it is a result of all of Tenebrion's experiments...or
maybe close proximity to a Zodiac maze? Ah well. But, if yi have any
questions, feel free to contact me in the lands and I will do my best
to help yi. I hope this has brought yi up to date on these oft-
overlooked topics, what with all the hubbub over the Orga Stronghold
and such...let us be wary not to miss the danger at our doorstep while
watching the opportunities in the distance.

See maps of ether in these areas at the following scroll for yourself:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/

Lei'tar,
Wangah Rah

#####
ETHER MAPPING UPDATE
BY WANGAH RAH

H'loi all-
Hope the ether mapping is coming well for all...its been slow here as
its rather difficult to get enough pendants. But on to some new
information...

I had the chance to speak with Tenebrion again, albeit for only a brief
time. He said he had trained another slave to teach us the ways of
ether/ethereal amulets. He said he was digging out a chamber for him,
and would be finished in a puddlemonth or so. Good news there. The
other matter he spoke of was a bit confusing, regarding chaos and order
and understanding the nature of ether. I think, basically, he means the
more you understand ether, the less chaotic it seems. The more you
research and understand, the more you are able to penetrate the
chaos...the  more you know, the more you are able to learn, perhaps?
I'm not quite sure..but he said everything we see as chaos is really
ordered, to a trained, knowledgable, and understanding mind. He also
spoke of further uses of the amulets...but not anything in detail. The
more we are trained and understand, the more apparent uses the amulet
will display. Vague as ever, but this is what we have to deal with.
Hope it is helpful to some people.

Lei'tar,
Wangah Rah

#####
NEW DISCUSSION FORUM AND SURVEY

This group is for the purpose of tracking Ethereal fluctuations on the
island of Puddleby and the Lok'Grotton Islands in general.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/PESC.html

#####
DEWS IN THE OUTPOST
BY MONGO

During a recent dew/trool invasion from the brambles, I happened to be
in the South Forest Field Hospital just as the invasion was starting.

While waiting for reinforcements to arrive with some fellow exiles (a
fallen fighter and healer that I had chained there from the west
entrance, another fallen fighter felled by a mighty blow as he leapt to
safety from the mirror snell, and one other fighter), we were shocked
to see neodews nibbling on the fallen exiles.

We quickly dispatched them, and started musing aloud over how they
could have gotten into what we considered a "safe" area.  While we were
talking, I spotted a mildew and several more neodews near the entrance
to the Outpost.

We killed those quickly, and then went into the Outpost to discover
many more neodews and mildews (I saw nothing larger than a mildew, but
I concentrated on keeping the smaller dews away from the fallen exiles
while the other fighter cleared out the northern area).

The point of this story is to let people know that the "safe" South
Forest Field Hospital may not _always_ be safe.

I hope that their infestation of the Outpost was merely caused by a
great push from the giant dews outside in the mirror sn'ell, but I fear
that it might be a sign of something more sinister...perhaps there is
an opening to a cave somewhere in the Outpost, opened by trools and
their kin, and these dews just wandered in from below.

Yours in Beer,
Mongo

#####
KALA SAHAR COMES TO TOWN
RECORDED BY SOR

Kala Sahar is a Sylvan, is female, is a Merchant, and is not wearing
the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a purse, and she is wearing a sunstone and a
shieldstone.
Kala Sahar has 3 good karma.
(Merlisk waves to Kala Sahar)
Kala Sahar : "hello, poor thoom"
Merlisk : "Greetings, Kala Sahar"
Merlisk : "care to have a seat in the shade?"
Kala Sahar : "I see you have the affliction."
Merlisk : "oh?"
Merlisk : "You mean this dew?"
* You show your lump to Kala Sahar.
Kala Sahar : "sorry but your infection makes you dangerous to me."
Kala Sahar : "yes"
Merlisk : "sorry"
Merlisk : "I'll back up"
Kala Sahar : "it is not your fault"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "Qual's evil"
Merlisk : "I need to get rid of this!"
Merlisk : "Any idea how?"
Kala Sahar : "Is the good healer Tessa around?"
* 'tessa' is not in the lands.
Merlisk : "I'm afraid not"
Kala Sahar : "very sad"
* Xepel shows his lump to everyone.
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "She knows how to remove it?"
Kala Sahar : "I may be able to help her learn to do it"
Merlisk : "ah"
Merlisk : "'tis tricky?"
Merlisk : "I mean, learnin' how to get rid of it?"
Kala Sahar : "but it seems I need to train in tracking to find her"
(Merlisk grins)
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Merlisk : "Have you tried to send her a mail?"
(Merlisk points to the Post Office)
Kala Sahar : "ahh yes the post"
Kala Sahar : "What a thoomish idea. Thooms are always so practical."
(Merlisk grins)
Ailsa : "Kala Sahar, I can look up postbox numbers for you, given the
first part of a person's name."
Kala Sahar : "Tessa"
Ailsa : "I do not see a box for anyone named 'Tessa'."
Kala Sahar : "hmm"
(Merlisk sighs)
Merlisk : "I could perhaps give a message to her"
Kala Sahar : "sadly she does not seem to have a mail box"
(Merlisk sighs)
Merlisk : "Kala Sahar, may I as you a question?"
Kala Sahar : "sure"
Kala Sahar : "I guess"
Merlisk : "What are these dews?"
Kala Sahar : "ahh a long dark story"
Kala Sahar : "best told another time"
Merlisk : "What are these dews? And, why is Qual shovin' 'em down our
throats?"
Merlisk : "ah"
Merlisk : "very well"
Kala Sahar : "you may know all in time"
Merlisk : "I shan't keep you then"
Merlisk ponders, "I hope so"
Merlisk : "but there is a cure...right?"
(Merlisk crosses his flippers)
Kala Sahar : "I'm told there is a cure for every disease"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk : "I sure hope so"
Kala Sahar : "I may be out a bit"
Merlisk : "no problem"
Kala Sahar : "the library is so dusty"
Merlisk : "I'll relay to Tessa your message"
Merlisk : "have a beer in the pub"
Merlisk : "that's good for dust"
Kala Sahar : "Dwarves tell me beer is good for everything"
Merlisk : "I remember a merchant from Peaceton so long ago"
Merlisk thinks, "If anyone sees Tessa, please let her know that I and
Kala Sahar are looking for her."
Droch : "Amputating something from someone. Why, got special doctor
stuff?"
Kala Sahar : "I'm told she can help me...or I can help her... we share
a common interest."
Merlisk : "Kala, have you ever been to Peaceton?"
Kala Sahar : "Peaceton...hmmm"
Kala Sahar : "I have been so many places...I may have been there"
Merlisk : "We're worried for them"
Kala Sahar : "Is that the land with the Queen who has Six Eyes?"
Merlisk : "ewww"
Kala Sahar : "hmmm"
Merlisk : "Hope not"
Kala Sahar : "so many places... I should have known it would hide in a
place like this."
Merlisk : "It? The Dew thing?"
Merlisk : "I wish I could find out what Qual was dewing"
Kala Sahar : "The dews are only a part of a greater whole... a drop of
blood in a great beast."
Indigo : "is the whole... beast... here, good merchant?"
Kala Sahar : "eeh?"
Kala Sahar : "must have drifted off to sleep a wink."
Merlisk : "Kala, how does even fathom to kill the whole if its parts
are all creatures?"
Merlisk : "Kala, would these lumps grow into full dews?"
Kala Sahar : "it is a creature without definite form"
Kala Sahar : "If IT keeps to its ways IT will hide far underground and
have its minions do ITs bidding."
Kala Sahar : "This talk of a Qual bothers me though."
Merlisk ponders, "me too"
Kala Sahar : "is or was Qual an exile such as yourselves?"
Merlisk ponders, "Or Qual *is* the dew"
Merlisk : "Not accordin' to my first meetin' of him, Kala Sahar"
Merlisk : "I met him in the old Castle courtyard"
Indigo : "There are rumors that he is in league with the Darshak, or
perhaps was one, once. But I know not the veracity of such statements."
Merlisk : "Years ago...."
Merlisk : "He was never an exile"
Kala Sahar : "The source would never put itself in danger... does this
Qual ever come out in the open?"
Merlisk : "yes"
Kala Sahar : "then Qual is but a mask I would guess"
Kala Sahar : "a hop or skip and I'm where I need to be."
(Kala Sahar laughs!)
Sutai : "It is queen dew, right?"
Kala Sahar : "It is the Source."
Kala Sahar : "some might call it the Dark Bubbling but it has as many
names as it has faces."
Sutai : "Oh, yes.. Source.. I thought at one time this information was
supposed to be hidden, so Qual couldn't find out we knew."
Kala Sahar : "what do I call it?"
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Aldernon : "I take it we may've heard that bubbling in places on
Dal'Noth then"
Kala Sahar : "we are in polite company I dare not say least you think
less of me."
(Merlisk grins)
Wangah Rah ponders, "She must be ancient...and we age so slowly..."
Kala Sahar : "Hard to say anymore. I wander more then I am at any one
place."
Indigo : "You remember not where you were raised? Your family?"
Aldernon : "Kala, are we in danger here. Assuming it is close?"
Kala Sahar : "none of that is important."
(Merlisk waves to Kala Sahar)
Kala Sahar : "in danger? from what I have seen of this isle you are
always in one danger or another."
(Aldernon chuckles)
Aldernon : "very true, very true =)"
Indigo : "Hm."
Kala Sahar : "this is but one raindrop in the storm."
Indigo : "Was there something that you sensed that brought you here,
Kala?"
Aldernon : "there is more than one It?"
Kala Sahar : "It knows I can teach the power to destroy It."
(Aldernon nods)
Sor : "Oh do you?"
ShadowEarth : "just it?"
ShadowEarth : "or other things too?"
Kala Sahar : "when it feels strong it tries to draw me in to destroy
me"
Aldernon : "does It fear you then?"
Indigo : "Teach powers? What do you mean?"
Kala Sahar : "when it is weak it hides away and leaves no trace."
ShadowEarth : "well then you came to right place.. tons of adventures
here ;)"
Indigo : "Does "It" reside in other islands, or must it stay close to
itself?"
Sutai : "Isn't Bubbring concentrated under Noth?"
(Aldernon nods to Sutai)
Kala Sahar : "Qual, the mask of this beast, would not often travel far
from where it hides."
Indigo : "I see."
Kala Sahar : "Is there a place where he is most often seen?"
Aldernon : "yes, most often on Dal'Noth Isle"
Aldernon : "an isle surrounded by illusion"
DragonClaw : "Want to go to Dal'noth to meet him?"
DragonClaw ponders, "hmm..."
Sor : "Qual has been seen sometimes in the southern brambles as well…
on this island"
(Aldernon nods)
Sor : "He's negotiating with trools"
Kala Sahar : "Dal'Noth where is this place?"
Indigo : "Yei. He seems to have some power over creatures known as
trool'kin"
Sor : "It's far in the north ocean"
Kala Sahar : "he may have infected them as he tries to infect your
town"
Kala Sahar : "your diversity protects you"
Aldernon : "!"
Aldernon : "that would explain some things"
Indigo : "He seems to mobilize them into armies who march toward town.
Sometimes dews are with them."
Wangah Rah : "What of the ones who have already been dewed, infected?"
Kala Sahar : "there are some races that he seems yet unable to touch"
Aldernon : "is it possible then, the Noth were all infected and left
the town abandoned, by this It?"
Kala Sahar : "I would guess it took the townsfolk to be its servants.
made them part of the whole."
Solas ponders, "hmm"
Kala Sahar : "it is the way it grows"
(Aldernon shivers)
Magnous ponders, "Qual is more insidious then he seemed"
Aldernon : "is that what it has in store for us then? those who've been
'dewed'?"
Indigo : "Do those who are taken as servants have a particular... hm...
outward change in appearance?"
Kala Sahar : "in most cases one dew supresses the host while a second
takes over the body."
(Sor gulps)
Indigo : "Do we know of any who have been dewed twice?"
Kala Sahar : "this usually results in a major change in apperance."
Aldernon : "and....and...the 3rd?"
Magnous : "such as?"
Delirium : "are the dews and noths related?"
Kala Sahar : "no need for a third. two and some time are all that is
needed."
Magnous : "how does the affected's apperance change?"
Aldernon : "how long does this take? does it vary?"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Wasn't Tessa finding a way to fix this?"
Kala Sahar : "If It is not stopped this town may well wake up to find
itself lost and under Its sway."
(Indigo frowns.)
Kala Sahar : "not all wars are fought with swords."
Indigo : "That is very true, good merchant."
Aldernon : "but....you can teach us how to fight it though, right?"
Magnous : "Kala, are there any common symptoms of the physical changes
of an infected?"
Indigo : "Yei, you said you could teach us powers to fight it."
Sutai : "teach us to use that shierdstone & we wirr defeat Quar more
easiry :)"
Kala Sahar : "This one named Tessa sounds as if she may have promise."
Wangah Rah : "One sylvan doctor will not win the war...what of the
common exile?"
Aldernon : "she pursues many things...I'm sure she does have promise"
(Kala Sahar sighs)
Indigo : "Kala, the one called Dr. Malthus is one of many exiles
interested in this situation. Is there nothing you can teach the rest?"
Kala Sahar : "maybe I don't know"
Wangah Rah : "And maybe yi do?"
Kala Sahar : "it is hard to say unless I find them."
Aldernon : "I'm sure some here would be willing to try to learn..."
Wangah Rah : "At this moment, yi have nothing?"
Indigo : "no wisdom to offer the rest of us?"
Wangah Rah : "Yi speak of great tales..."
Aldernon : "what is it you seek in an exile that show's their
"promise"?"
Wangah Rah : "Surely yi have something? Or wisdom as she says?"
Kala Sahar : "prior experience"
Aldernon : "ah"
Aldernon : "we may be able to steer you to another that can help"
Aldernon : "Paramedic has experience!"
Kala Sahar : "Tessa has examined many dews I'm told"
Aldernon : "Paramedic has examined as many, I'd guess"
Wangah Rah : "Others have killed many"
Solas : "I believe Achates did as well"
Indigo : "many of us have fought them at great risk."
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon : "I've been to see him many times"
Aldernon : "and spoken about this lump"
Paramedic : "Tessa is the expert"
Aldernon : "he's always done his best to help"
Kala Sahar : "has anyone, other then Tessa, collected some of the fluid
from the lumps or growths?"
Paramedic : "No, just Tessa"
Kala Sahar : "then Tessa is the one I seek."
* Aldernon shivers fitfully
Indigo : "Kala, we see you are a merchant. What do you sell?"
Wangah Rah : "How old are yi, Kala?"
Sutai ponders, "hopefully the stone!"
Kala Sahar : "ZZZzzz...."
Jeanne ponders, "she fell asleep?"
(Ayella raises an eyebrow.)
Rael the Squonk ponders, "Narcoleptic..."
Kala Sahar : "zZZZzz..."
* Aldernon shivers violently.
Rael the Squonk : "One lump, or two?"
Paramedic : "Two"
Aldernon : "I'm....cold"
(Lucio grins.)
Kala Sahar : "yes, Sutai their eyes ARE his eyes... or the eyes of the
Dark Bubbling to be more truthful."
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "it is not so much what she has done but what she has
collected."
Aldernon : "Kala...."
Kala Sahar : "yes Aldernon?"
* Hex shivers involuntarily.
Aldernon : "is there nothing you can do....until you find Tessa"
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "sadly no"
(Aldernon nods to Kala, slowly)
Aldernon : "what...can we expect? those that...have been infected"
Kala Sahar : "I can not do what she has done. And I need what she has
collected to help."
* Hex shivers involuntarily.
Aldernon : "I understand..."
Aldernon : "=/"
Hex : "Kala..."
* Aldernon shivers involuntarily.
Kala Sahar : "The Dark Bubbling knows I am close. Those affected will
have worse symptomes near me."
Sor ponders, "?"
Hex : "There's no evidence that those... lumps are contagious,
correct?"
Kala Sahar : "move away to feel better."
Kala Sahar : "they can be spread by the source or its agents."
Sutai : "!"
(Aldernon slowly moves away from Kala)
Jeanne : "You mean Aldernon can give someone else a dew as well?"
Sutai : "Do agents incrude those who have been infected?"
Kala Sahar : "if he gets two dews he may soon find the need to give a
third to an uninfected person"
Aldernon : "will the symptoms increase, now that you are visiting?"
Kala Sahar : "only when you are near me Aldernon."
Aldernon : "it is difficult, if you can help, yet we cannot be near you
=/"
* Aldernon shivers for a moment.
Kala Sahar : "those infected can do little to help me."
(Aldernon coughs)
Shere Khan : "that's why you need tessa the intermediary"
Aldernon : "are we, to be "written off" then?"
* Hex shivers for a moment.
Aldernon : "Kala, are certain races more susceptible?"
* Aldernon shivers suddenly.
Kala Sahar : "I shall return another time to find this Tessa"
Wangah Rah : "Kala, let me understand. Yi have no knowledge, equipment,
or anything else to help anyone save Tessa?"
(Aldernon frowns)
Delirium : "Tessa may be out a little later"
Aldernon : "thank you for coming, and offering some hope at least"
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Kala Sahar : "I never said I didn't have equipment."
* Ein Kala Sahar shows her wood and crystal tool to everyone.
Sutai : "Hmm, quite interesting."
Sor : "a wood and crystal tool?"
* Entil'Zha shivers for a moment.
Jeanne ponders, "interesting"
Aldernon : "be well, Kala Sahar"
* Hex shivers suddenly.
Sutai : "I wonder what it does.."
Sor yells, "be well Kala, we shall tell Tessa about you!"
Kala Sahar : "some have called it a Separ... but it has many names."
Jo Ma'ril : "!"
Sor : "!!"
Sutai : "!"
Jo Ma'ril : "The Separ?!"
* Aldernon shivers suddenly.
Wangah Rah : "Separ!"
Sor : "the Separ??"
Aldernon ponders, "the Separ!"
Sutai : "Separ.. to destroy It."
Sor : "damnit!"
Magnous : "whats a Separ?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Where'd she go?"
Sor : "A legendary item…"
* Kala Sahar is no longer Clanning.
Aldernon : "it looked like what had been described to us"

Dr. Malthus meets Kala Shar

Kala Sahar : "can we go some place quiet to talk?"
Kala Sahar : "too many dews about"
Dr Malthus : "That would be good.. would you like to go to my office?"
Crius yells, "It's 3 o'clock, and all's well."
* Entil'Zha shivers for a moment.
Jo Ma'ril : "Let 'em talk in private people."
Dr Malthus : "Hmmm.... Cori?"
Kala Sahar : "lead on. please no others come."
Coriakin : "Aye, Tessa?"
* Henryk shivers for a moment.
Dr Malthus : "Would you mind if the thoom came along?"
Thirteenth Rat shivers for a moment.
Dr Malthus : "Of course.. if it is a medical matter..."
Kala Sahar : "I guess one thoom would be ok"
* Xepel shivers fitfully.
(Dr Malthus nods)
(Coriakin smiles)
Coriakin : "Thankee, kindly"
Dr Malthus : "This way then..."
Kala Sahar : "shall we?"
Shen Calin ponders, ":)"
Jo Ma'ril thinks to you, "I'll keep people outta your office."
(Jo Ma'ril waves.)
Dr Malthus : "Please.."
(Dr Malthus holds the chair)
Dr Malthus : "Have a seat! You must be tired."
Dr Malthus : "Where are you from?"
Kala Sahar : "pardon"
Coriakin : "No worries :)"
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
Dr Malthus : "Where are you from?"
Kala Sahar : "I'm told you have taken fluid from the lumps?"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "I've been studying them for years..."
Kala Sahar : "may I have a sample?"
Dr Malthus : "in hopes of finding a cure."
(Kala Sahar gets out a wooden bowl.)
Dr Malthus : "Ummm..."
Kala Sahar : "and so we may"
Dr Malthus : "They were really hard to come by... Can I ask...."
Kala Sahar : "just pour it in the bowl"
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
Dr Malthus ponders, "Ewww...."
Dr Malthus : "Excuse me for being a bit.. cautious?"
Kala Sahar : "then go get some and return"
(Dr Malthus gets out a key and unlocks her cabinet)
(Dr Malthus sets a tray out on the shelf, and pulls out a notebook)
(Dr Malthus also takes out a clipboard)
Dr Malthus : "They're there.. on the counter...."
Dr Malthus : "I understand that you have some interest in stopping the
spread of this menace?"
Kala Sahar : "more then interest."
Dr Malthus : "Hmm?? Do go on..."
Kala Sahar : "ability"
Dr Malthus : "How so..."
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Kala Sahar : "but I need a sample of the fluid to make ready the
Separ."
Dr Malthus : "The Separ??"
(Coriakin glances at Kala's tool)
* Ein Kala Sahar shows her wood and crystal tool to everyone.
Dr Malthus : "You have it???? I've only read about it."
(Dr Malthus seems cautious)
Kala Sahar : "well there is only one"
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Dr Malthus : "I hate to be presumptuous... surely.. if you understand
the background..."
Dr Malthus : "you must know that caution is in order?"
Kala Sahar : "passed from keeper to keeper to hunt the beast"
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Dr Malthus : "Do you mean.. "it" ?"
Kala Sahar : "but now it is time to pass it to a new keeper."
Kala Sahar : "yes IT the Dark Bubbling"
Coriakin : "The hive mind?"
Dr Malthus : "Oh so that's what that is in that riddle then..."
Dr Malthus : "the one I read about?"
Kala Sahar : "when it arrives one of my order will try to go and give
the Separ."
Dr Malthus : "You wouldn't mind... then.. if I did a brief physical?
Just to be on the safe side?"
Dr Malthus : "It... won't take too long."
Kala Sahar : "In most cases the arrival of the separ drives off the
dark bubbling... but I fear here things may be different."
Dr Malthus : "Oh?"
Dr Malthus : "Do you think more may be needed?"
Dr Malthus : "I have a list.. of many.. who have been infected... and
from whom I have taken samples..."
Kala Sahar : "The dark bubbling seems to have learned that it can save
and use the minds of some of those it infects"
Otepei thinks, "ThoomCare™ North West Forest Hospital is Open!"
Dr Malthus : "Sometimes...I fear... "It" has been very resistant."
Dr Malthus : "Oh... yes! I see that.... in that they become as agents
for...."
Dr Malthus : "their master?"
Kala Sahar : "It is no smarter then the myrm queen... But this talk of
Qual..."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin ponders, "So they really are possesed..."
Dr Malthus : "I haven't ever seen him.. But I surmise that he is trying
to exert some control over it?"
Dr Malthus : "some... domination.. to use for his own means whatever
they are."
Dr Malthus : "That... I really have no clue about."
Kala Sahar : "well he may think so"
(Kala Sahar laughs!)
(Dr Malthus nods)
(Dr Malthus smiles)
Kala Sahar : "The Dark Bubbling has many lies to tell."
Dr Malthus : "Well.... still... it is not exactly a safe situation!"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "Uh.. huh..."
Dr Malthus ponders, "Thuja..."
Coriakin ponders, "Caddrel..."
Dr Malthus : "People have been tel... well..."
Kala Sahar : "The Separ can cure those infected but not fully changed."
Dr Malthus : "A few of the infected ones are very very afraid."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "so exiles with lumps and growths can be saved."
Dr Malthus : "I've noticed the disease can progress...."
Coriakin : "But what of those more greviously infected?"
Dr Malthus : "From my predictions... after it evolves into a
growth...."
Kala Sahar : "those who have changed in apperance can not be saved...
i.e. 'Noth."
(Dr Malthus shudders)
Coriakin : "Ah."
(Dr Malthus nods... Oh!!!!)
Dr Malthus : "Is that the final form???"
(Dr Malthus looks suddenly fascinated)
Kala Sahar : "I'm not sure"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "So you need ... some of my samples then?"
Dr Malthus : "I have... uh..."
Dr Malthus : "Eleven...."
Kala Sahar : "Qual seems to be trapped IN MID-CHANGE"
Dr Malthus : "and quite a few preserved neodews as well."
Coriakin : "Really?"
Dr Malthus : "Oh????"
Kala Sahar : "I'm not sure if he can be cured."
Dr Malthus : "That sounds VERY dangerous."
Kala Sahar : "when folks change to the new form they go crazy and
become mindless"
Dr Malthus ponders, "I really would prefer to do a brief physical on
her first..."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "I see..."
Kala Sahar : "Qual is not mindless, so he must not be fully changed."
Dr Malthus : "Under Its control... Dark Bubbling???"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "But what of the minds the Dark Bubbling steals?"
Dr Malthus : "That would follow... tell me.. where did the name "dark
bubbling" come form????"
Kala Sahar : "once you cure the exiles you may well wish to try to cut
him off from the Dark Bubbling"
Kala Sahar : "if you saw it you would know"
(Kala Sahar snickers)
Coriakin : "Ah, so it is a physical entity?"
Dr Malthus : "Okay.. I.. get the picture then..."
Kala Sahar : "well"
Dr Malthus : "Do you know where it is?"
Kala Sahar : "it is many parts in a whole, but there are dense areas I
guess."
(Coriakin nods)
Kala Sahar : "areas with more parts."
Dr Malthus : "Hmmm..."
Coriakin : "Like Dal'Noth island"
Kala Sahar : "to quicker activity"
(Coriakin nods)
Kala Sahar : "hard to explain"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "and mostly unimportant."
Coriakin : "I see"
Kala Sahar : "what we need now is to stop the spread"
Dr Malthus : "Well.. the fact that you are divulging all of this..
information... is certainly a good sign..."
Dr Malthus : "Tell me what you want then..."
(Coriakin blinks)
Kala Sahar : "If it spreads the Dark Bubbling will feel safe and stay"
Coriakin : "Er..."
(Dr Malthus picks up her tray)
Coriakin : "When did this bird get here?"
Kala Sahar : "place some fluid in the bowl"
Dr Malthus : "Did you take care of it?"
Coriakin : "Aye... Can't be too careful"
Coriakin : "Especially nowadays."
(Dr Malthus carefully opens a vessel labeled "Entil'Zha")
(Dr Malthus holds a small vial of a quivering dark mass)
Kala Sahar : "when those infected are near the Separ their disease will
act up as the dew screams in fear."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "I noticed that."
(Coriakin nods)
(Dr Malthus pours it into Kala's bowl)
Coriakin ponders, "Dark Bubbling indeed"
(Dr Malthus sighs)
(Kala Sahar takes the Separ and waves it over the bowl)
* Kala Sahar is a Sylvan, is female, is a Merchant, and is not wearing
the symbol of any clan.
* She is holding a wood and crystal tool, and she is wearing a sunstone
and a shieldstone.
(Dr Malthus watches with interest)
(Kala Sahar mutters a quiet chant)
(Kala Sahar touches the fluid with the crystal.)
(Dr Malthus peers)
Kala Sahar : "ahhh!"
Coriakin : "Aha!"
Dr Malthus : "What is that?"
Kala Sahar : "it is ready"
(Coriakin looks at the item)
* You find a strange object!
Coriakin : "Is that really.... the Separ?"
Kala Sahar : "you have a Separ that is made ready"
Kala Sahar : "BUT!"
* You equip your wood and crystal tool.
Kala Sahar : "know this"
(Coriakin listens intently)
Kala Sahar : "the Separ is not a weapon"
Kala Sahar : "it is a tool of healing"
Dr Malthus : "I am a healer..."
Dr Malthus : "So that would be fitting."
Kala Sahar : "if the Dark Bubbling move on you must follow it and give
the separ to the locals whom it starts to attack"
Kala Sahar : "just as I come to give it to you"
Dr Malthus : "I understand."
Kala Sahar : "you are the 267 holder"
Dr Malthus : "Whatever we can do.. there are lots of people working
for.. and against.. us... Kala"
Dr Malthus : "How does it work?"
Dr Malthus : "is it.. dangerous to others?"
Kala Sahar : "If the Dark Bubbling does not flee keep the Separ and
battle its dark ways."
(Dr Malthus holds it carefully)
Kala Sahar : "you may pass the separ to any you feel worthy to carry
it"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Dr Malthus : "That's ... fortunate..."
Dr Malthus : "And very helpful"
Kala Sahar : "once it is ready at a new location any local can use it."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "I'm old and tired"
Dr Malthus : "Should I... preserve these other samples?"
Kala Sahar : "finally I can go home"
Dr Malthus : "You must be very tired..."
Coriakin : "Rest east, Kala. We shall take up your fight"
Dr Malthus : "Please though... can you tell me.. how I should use it?"
Kala Sahar : "what you consider today to be a blessing may in the end
be a curse."
Dr Malthus : "How ... we ... should use it?"
Kala Sahar : "never lose hope and consider what others have to lose"
Dr Malthus : "Well.. it is a battle of sorts.. I understand."
(Coriakin nods)
Dr Malthus : "That has always been my goal!"
Dr Malthus : "And that of many others as well..."
Kala Sahar : "ahhhh...and NEVER let the Dark bubbling capture the
Separ"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you so much for helping us... I was beginning to
dispair!"
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "That would be disastrous"
Kala Sahar : "there is only one and if it is lost ALL maybe lost"
Coriakin thinks to you, "No pressure or anything. ;)"
(Dr Malthus sighs)
Kala Sahar : "simply touch them with the crystal as you might use
anyother healing stone."
(Dr Malthus nods)
Kala Sahar : "The Separ knows its job and is of a single mind."
(Coriakin blinks)
Kala Sahar : "guide it well and it will be a kind servant"
Coriakin ponders, "Knows its mind?"
Dr Malthus : "Would you mind if.... if... we tried it out while you are
here?"
Coriakin : "Is it... alive?"
Kala Sahar : "sure"
Kala Sahar : "Coriakin bring us one infected person"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you..."
(Coriakin nods)
Dr Malthus : "One is on the way"
Coriakin : "Very well"
Coriakin : "oh?"
Kala Sahar : "we shall await your return"
(Coriakin brings Jo ;))
(Kala Sahar chuckles)
Jo Ma'ril : "'lo."
(Dr Malthus seems nervous)
Dr Malthus : "Jo...."
Coriakin : "Ahoy there, Jo"
(Dr Malthus winces)
Kala Sahar : "thooms are so efficient"
Jo Ma'ril : "Tessa?"
(Coriakin grins)
Dr Malthus : "I really... don't know what this is gonna do..."
Jo Ma'ril : "er"
Dr Malthus : "Are you... ready?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Well."
(Dr Malthus holds the object gently)
Jo Ma'ril : "It can't be any worse than having this thing stuck in me"
(Coriakin sorta moseys behind Jo, not guarding the door at all)
Dr Malthus : "Here goes..."
(Dr Malthus gently touches Jo with the tool)
* Jo Ma'ril shivers from head to foot.
* You hold your crystal wand over Jo Ma'ril; it vibrates weakly.
(Jo Ma'ril winces)
Jo Ma'ril : "it's gone!"
(Coriakin blinks)
* Jo Ma'ril stumbles.
Kala Sahar : "ahhh"
(Coriakin supports Jo)
Kala Sahar : "see"
* Jo Ma'ril falls to the ground, shuddering.
Dr Malthus : "Are you okay?"
* Jo Ma'ril gags, chokes, and vomits up a spore.
Dr Malthus : "Jo!!!"
Jo Ma'ril : "er no"
Jo Ma'ril : "I don't feel so good."
Kala Sahar : "he needs to regain control"
Jo Ma'ril : "gah"
Coriakin : "Ack!"
Kala Sahar : "it's out!"
Dr Malthus : "Kill that!"
* You equip your greatsword.
Kala Sahar : "kill it"
Jo Ma'ril : "I can't......"
Dr Malthus : "Where did it go?"
Jo Ma'ril : "outside"
Jo Ma'ril : "hurr"
Coriakin : "Can you kill it?"
* You helped kill a Mildew.
Coriakin : "Whew!"
Jo Ma'ril : "a bit better"
Coriakin : "It is dead"
Dr Malthus : "Are you better?"
Jo Ma'ril : "Is it..."
Jo Ma'ril : "ah"
Coriakin : "How d'ya feel, Jo?"
Jo Ma'ril : "a bit better, yes"
(Dr Malthus hugs the old woman!)
Jo Ma'ril : "thank you so much!"
Dr Malthus : "Thank you!!!"
Kala Sahar : "now you have much work ahead"
Dr Malthus : "I wonder what happens for someone with a more.. advanced
case...."
(Jo Ma'ril tries walking, slowly)
(Dr Malthus nods)
Coriakin : "How can we thank ye enough?"
Dr Malthus : "Could I offer you some tea?"

#####
BAWKMAS POETY BY SLEIPNIR

'Twas the night before Bawkmas, and in Puddleby
not a creature was stirring, not even a flea;
The stockings were hung by the town hall with care,
In hope that the Santa Chick soon would be there.

The exiles were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of greatswords danced all through their heads;
And Babs in her nightie (and I was there too)
Had just settled down in the Tor for a cup of tea,

When out from the town there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a hare
(Blushing a bit, 'cause my bottom was bare)

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what should come driving through Puddleby's homes
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight Pogue Mahones,

With a fat, ugly driver, a beastly old bag,
I knew that it must be Althea the hag.
More rapid than spriggins her clan mates they came,
And she whistled and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now Devil! now, Cutlas! now Baffette you vixen,
On, Klur, Aki, Wisher! on, Malkor and Blitzen!
To the top of the Tor! to the roof of the Hall!
Now Pogue Mahone, Pogue Mahone, Pogue Mahone all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the hall-top the Poguies they flew,
With a sleigh full of ugly, malicious old shrew.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from above
The Poguies all giving Althea a shove.
As I drew in my hand, made a run for the door,
Through the chimney Althea fell down on the floor.

She was dressed all in grey, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
An empty old sack she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a homeless bag lady on crack.

Her hair needed washing! her pimples, how hairy!
Her huge greasy nose was as red as a cherry!
Her drooling old mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on her chin (well, you don't want to know).

A piece of old snot was lodged tight in her teeth,
And stench, it encircled her head like a wreath;
She had a broad face, and a huge fat round belly,
That shook, when she belched, like a bowlful of jelly.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And stole all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking her finger up inside her nose
To pull out a bit, up the chimney she rose;

She sprang to her sleigh, to the town gave the finger,
Away stomped the Pogues, they did not want to linger.
As they left, she cried out, with a touch of real class,
"HAPPY BAWKMAS TO ALL. YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ***."

POGUES RESPOND

This from an anonymous member of the Pogues. I'm posting it for him (as
requested) to act as a lightning rod. Heh.

Althea did indeed drop down chimneys that eve,
And come christmas morning Puddleby's citizens grieved.
Although the accounts of her are somewhat unreal -
For only one stocking per household did she indeed steal.

She worked like a dog, she even had to wear grey!
But she simply could not let her important task stray.
Quick as a flash she collected up the toys,
Quiet as a whisper, with barely a noise.

Her "evil" task completed, the sleigh drew away,
Her "reindeer" complained, 'twas a cold winter's day.
But Althea steadfast, drew to an old part of town,
with ramshackle huts, no windows, doors broken down.

The sleigh did not see anywhere scarcely a mouse,
'Till they came across a particularly rundown old house.
'Thea parked on the roof, hoisted the sack to her side,
held her breath; jumped, down the chimney she did "slide".

Her "reindeer" unsaddled, both freezing and sore,
they jumped off the roof, and decided to just take the door.
The Pogues met inside, where the house was pitch black,
Devil quickly lit a match, and complained about his bad back.

As their eyes adjusted all the Pogues plainly see,
a room full of small children, cuddled together sleepily.
"There must be at least 50 now!" Baffette exclaimed,
"That bastard Mobius, he'll exile anyone!" Blitz flamed.

The tiny eyes stirred, and they started to gleam,
they looked upon the Pogues, 'Thea started to beam.
One by one 'Thea pulled out stockings from her sack,
pinned them to the mantle, tight on space, back to back.

She whispered to Baffette, nearly tears in her eyes,
"These poor little orphans will have the most wonderful surprise!"
All year, thoughts of orphans at 'Thea did gnaw,
her job done, she shuffled Pogues out, -no reward.

"The people will hate us, now even more than ever!"
Baffette said with a chatter, teeth nigh frozen together.
"It's a small price to pay for spreading such Bawkmas cheer,
these orphans have no family, it's a shame!" 'Thea stared.

"I just wish the community could know what we do,
I so dislike bk, we're surely not evil, it's true!"
"Secret trips deep in Outback, searching for logs,
Kismia; finding stuff to make potions (chasing down frogs)".

"I'm all for helping others", Baffette was heard to say,
"But they all hate us, can't we tell them some day?"
"No, never!!", Althea exclaimed, her face drawing red,
"The last time everyone knew, the children ended up dead!"

"The lackeys of Mobius are in every single clan!"
"We tell a soul outside us, and they'll torch the place again!"
Althea, tired, put her arms weakly around some of her clan,
And dragged herself, freezing through the snow - to next year do it all
again.

#####
OPEN LETTER TO KORIC
BY MERLISK THE THOOM

Dear Koric:

Since I'm stuck in the library recovering from a spell of fatigue, I
decided to read your Journal at

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

You do quite a good job of recording the events of Puddleby and I wish
to commend you.

I did read with interest a comment you've made recently of Orgas
appearing in town. As I'm sure you're aware, Wangah and I recently went
on a quest for ingredients to perform a summoning ritual. Luckily, we
were able to find some stalwart adventurers to accompany us, your
objections notwithstanding.

After the gathering (quite an ordeal!), Wangah and I spent some time
carefully going over my Auntie's summoning spell and performing the
required ritual. We then proceeded to town center for the actual
summoning, to prove that we could actually control the beasts we
summoned.

As all know, the spell worked as intended! (Well, okay, we had to add a
few more ingredients.)  But, we summoned Zerks to town! Fortunately,
Wangah and I, with help from Darnok, were able to corner a Zerk before
its untimely death at the hands of Natas. The Zerk seemed incapable of
understanding us and continued attacking. I then asked bards to play
soothing music. Cloud and Rylantar both played lullabies for the
creatures. Alas, the dumb brute was uncommunicative.

Allow me to say that summoning these creatures was not a mistake! We
have much that could be learned from the beasts including the
whereabouts of our catapult, teleportation magic, illusions, and untold
wonders! I only ask that you tell our fellow exiles that not every Orga
need be immediately killed. With the right magic, they'll tell us
everything!

I grow weary again. That spell took its toil on upon my being. I rest
now, but I hope to see everyone soon.

Gaia be with us all!

Merlisk

#####
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and much more, including visionstones and a library of information

#####
RECENT COURT RECORDS

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_114_18_06 on 24 Spring, 544 at 18:42..."
Clerus says, "Kojiro accused Dr Malthus of using magic on me without my
consent...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_114_19_39 on 24 Spring, 544 at 20:48..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Trespasser of For being an idiot and
betraying us..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 83 minutes in jail, 171c fine and
4 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_123_21_30 on 33 Spring, 544 at 22:31..."
Clerus says, "Nargoth accused Samael of Defiling our town and
impersonating an exile..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 73 minutes in jail, 92c fine and
3 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_144_14_37 on 54 Spring, 544 at 15:24..."
Clerus says, "Micheal accused Prue of doing evil things to algy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; probation."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_188_09_05 on 8 Summer, 544 at 10:23..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Sephiroth of Harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 13 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
Clerus exclaims, "There you go!"

#####
HOROSCOPES FOR EXILES
BY MAGPIE

Orcipus the Pig
I could tell you what is going to happen to you this zodiac, but then I
might be tried as an accomplice for the mess in town center. I can
however warn you to stay the hell away from any suspicious looking
Tangleberry pies.

Falinea the Centaur
You and a... uh friend are going to do uh... something as the romance
catches the better of you after Koric and Felicity's wedding... just
don't do it near the tree by the tattoo shop, there will be some people
coming along while the two of you are... uh... you know... wink, wink,
say no more.

Ma'Taline the Mystic
It's a wacky zodiac for those born under the sign of the mystic. It
will start when Ma Toda tells you to "Come back when I give a damn."
The zany antics of your zodiac will continue when Qual will reveal to
all over the sunstone exactly how many chocolate doughnuts you ate when
you were depressed after learning Prue just wants you for your
liliberries.

Detros the Ruknee
Fighters born under this Zodiac have a special time in store for the
next few weeks when many of you will come across a few spare moonstones
and have "a crisis of the spirit." For the rest of you expect a warm
and happy zodiac, expect for Halflings, your nightmares of Gerag's
return will be replaced by horrible dreams of taking the circle test
naked.

Awjus and Hamusa the Shredders
Well, the stars smile upon those born under the fish. Especially
thooms, of course. Nothing real special is going to happen, but boy
will those stars be smiling! You betcha'!

Josephus the Ancient
Romance is in the air this zodiac. Not for those born under the sign of
the Ancient, but you will be able to see a lot of the romance from your
cold and lonely perch as those around you find love and happiness.
Exiles may vote to start calling the Abyss in your name.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith,
Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####
Cover the mirror, hide in your dreams
Forget what they told you, forget what it means
A picture worth a thousand lies, the memory and the mirror
Nothing but what came before, nothing but a closing door
A picture worth a thousand lies
A thousand words
A thousand eyes

"Bury My Lovely"
- October Project

I'm starting to work on the next Fishwrap. Now is the time to send in
your news, articles, surveys, clan or personal biographies, or
whatever else you may have.

Don't forget that Fishwrap has very inexpensive advertising rates,
and your ad will reach over 180 exiles.

Your friendly neighborhood Thoom
Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Printed in beautiful downtown Puddleby"

Issue #45: "The Fur and the Flames"
Special Super-sized Edition: Ideal for Wrapping Leftover Roast Vulture
[November 22, 2001]
Circulation: 182

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Exiles Get Fuzzy
Explosive Event
Katpus Speaks
Merlisk and Wangah Rah Try a Spell
Malkor Still Alive
Memories of Mystic Healer
Explorations Advance

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* A discussion with Umbrion
* Fat Alice's hut on the beach of the island is now renovated
* Fat Alice potion price remains expensive
* More Darshak
* Norm gets a training ledger from Regia
* Callia measuring levels of ether
* Festival of T'srrin
* Carnival in East Farms
* Exiles contracting Lyfe disease
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
(note new address)
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Puddleby Task Force visits the Lyfe cave
* Rumors of a new Darshak base
* Updates on mysteries surrounding Tenebrion and Umbrion
* Exile discussions with Brion brothers seem to be on the upswing
* The Phantasmonomicon
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* LIFE passes through Dred Passage, into Foothills
* Katpus speaks (see below in this issue of Fishwrap)
* Sparkle stones
* Fat Alice's new hut
* Lyfelidae syndrome
* The nasty salve
* The wedding of Arod and D'Noma
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* The study of Ethereal Amulets
* Kizmia's Island Travel log
* A trip to Devil's Island with Kiriel
* The Feast of T'srrin
* The Order of the Mini
* The Ethereal Survey of Puddleby
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

brought to you by Lundar:
* LIFE discovers new paths in the North Eastern Foothills
* The Crafters of Oblivion
* The Feast of T'srrin
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://homepage.mac.com/lundar/

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

News from the Fen Bureau

So many shocking events have occurred over the past few weeks that I am
still reeling from some of the ramifications that present themselves to
me. Here are the most important events that I've had the pleasure to
see first- or second-hand.

NOX SORORA CHAPTERHOUSE BURNT DOWN
     Never before have exiles had the power to destroy a building under
construction but that all changed when Polgara literally blew up the
Nox Sorora Chapter house.

     Over the past few weeks, mysterious colored rocks were discovered
(and continue to be found) all over these lands. It turns out that a
traitor Darshak Sage was able to combine one of each colored rock into
a potion that, once lit, explodes and burns anything nearby. Both
Polgara and the Hunter clan managed to obtain not only stones of each
of the five colors but a meeting with the Darshak Sage to make the
potion. While the Hunter clan deliberated on what to do with the potion
and got both sides of the story (Darshak and Nox Sorora), Polgara had
her mind made up already. While Jo Ma'ril was talking to the Nox
Sorora, Polgara quickly slipped behind the chapter house and lit the
fuse. Several exiles that were near the chapter house fell due to the
immense heat but were quickly raised. Naamah and Lacrima then pulled
out their bloodblades and pretended to fight each other which was
really quite silly.

     There is a lot of misinformation about but this is what I
understand from my reading on the subject. The Nox Sorora are enemies
of the Darshak who are enemies of Puddleby. So far, you'd think we'd be
best buddies but the Nox Sorora have some strange powers as well as an
allegiance with the Undine. Or maybe just Lilit has an allegiance with
the Undine and the other Nox Sorora either agree with her work or
haven't said anything against it publicly. In addition, there isn't a
definitive explanation of what the Nox Sorora really want to do. Those
loyal to the Nox Sorora mock the rest of us for ignorance but ignorant
simply beans "lacking knowledge and education in general or in a
specific subject." Maybe if the Nox Sorora was more forthcoming with
their beliefs and their future course of actions, exiles wouldn't be
afraid of them. Maybe if the Nox Sorora shows us what their powers are
and how they came from them and what they plan to do with them, exiles
wouldn't be afraid of them. Maybe some fear that the Nox Sorora would
do anything to defeat the Darshak, even if it harms Puddleby and exiles
in the process.

     The best way for fear and ignorance to stop is for the Nox Sorora
to be more forthright with who they are. Of course, I could be wrong
too. So many people around here do love keeping secrets.

UMBRION'S KEEP AND LYFE-ISM
     The mysteries of this island seem to mainly two; Umbrion's Keep and
the disease called Lyfelidaism. Thanks to the wonders of visionstones,
I have seen this island and the dangers and benefits that are to be
found there.

     In Umbrion's Keep, anyone can learn how to use and buy a
Phantasmonomicon which creates illusions in sentient beings. Those in
the mystic guild can also train in the use of the Ether Amulet which
measures the activity of ether in the area. Finally you can trade an
Albino Maha pelt and 500 coins to make an off-white cloak.

     In the rest of the island, you can face many strong and powerful
creatures while you attempt to find your tree to get off the island.
You can also catch the disease called Lyfelidaism which turns you into
a furry dog that walks on its hind legs. I've seen a number of those
affected emit bad smells and hunger for their fellow exiles. In fact,
Neige reports that he got bitten by Aki and that is how he acquired the
disease. Luminary reports that Aki chased her as well.

     Every time exiles go over to Kizmia's Isle to find the ingredients
for the curing potion, more get affected. What will be the result of
this? Will those affected eventually bite everyone else so the majority
of exiles have Lyfelidaism? What will happen then? Oh, you might say
that nothing bad will happen and that's what I thought until I heard of
Neige being bitten by Aki. I suggest that everyone stay away from those
affected and stay away from Kizmia's Isle (unless you're already
infected)!

MALKOR AUCTIONS WEDDING RING
     In order to free up an inventory slot, Malkor auctioned his wedding
ring from Cassandra for 1 coin a ticket. Cassandra  told me, upon
questioning, that she was extremely upset and he had better get the
ring back or else. I haven't heard of them splitting up so Malkor must
have done what she asked.

OTHER NEWS
     In the grange, Zuku has arrived to sell kudzu bags which are
specially designed to keep the seedlings healthy and sell for 50 coins
each. I never even knew that seedlings could get sick. Is this another
way to take up an inventory slot or do they speak of something neat
coming in the future such as farming?

     Next to the costume shop is Oukkri, who is collecting white
feathers so the ballroom costumers can make chicken costumes. Perhaps
now Super Chicken can look like a chicken for at least part of the
time. I can hardly imagine how foot pulling in town is going to be like
when the participants all look like chickens.

     Nyssa, one of the most outspoken of mystics, has returned to the
lands.

     The Sylvan Outpost is still closed. Makes me wonder if the Sylvan
are always this inept.

     Witkus now accepts returns, with a hefty restocking fee,
tangleberries and togron nuts are edible, and fallen people don't heal
while they're studying any more.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Remember that all exiles are provided free healthcare service at the
ThoomCare hospitals, located in South Forest and the Northwest Forest.
ThoomCare healers or affiliates routinely work in the hospitals to
provide healing in these dangerous areas.

http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/hospitalposter.html

***

ThoomCare members (and others interested in contemporary Thoom affairs)
Be sure to read the Thoom Mailing List:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom

***

Here are some journals you may not be reading:

The Life of Kirth Gersen in Exile, Journal

http://kirth.puddleby.dk/journal.html

Rock Out With Your Flock Out, by Shepherd

http://www.noxsorora.com/shepherd/diary/

  - Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
"LIFE AS A LYFE"
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH PANOS
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Panos generates an odor that would shock a Dwarf.
Panos asks, "here?"
Paramedic says, "let's go someplace quiet"
Panos is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
Rising Claw.
He is holding an axe.
(pan metrio)
Panos has 14 good karma.
Paramedic says, "So, you probably know how Fishwrap interviews go."
Panos says, "have overheard some of your interviews"
Panos says, "shoot"
Paramedic says, "There will be 5 questions."
Paramedic asks, "1) Why are you so furry?"
Panos says, "my fur is the result of my disease from the human point of
view"
Panos says, "but it is the natural state from the lyfelidae point of
view"
Paramedic asks, "how did you get this disease?"
Panos says, "I went on a hunt into the interior of KI and was bitten by
a Hunter's Lyfedae"
Paramedic asks, "Was it painful?"
Panos says, "painful, hmmmm"
Panos says, "well, falling is never pleasant"
Panos says, "but I did feel pain in my teeth and felt prickles all
over"
Panos says, "and nausea"
Paramedic says, "interesting"
Panos says, "all these feelings were quite unique"
Panos says, "of course, I have fallen and been raised many times since
being exiled"
Paramedic asks, "did you immediately become a Lyfelidae?"
Paramedic asks, "do you have to fall to contract the disease?"
Panos says, "yes one must fall _and_ be bitten to contract the disease"
Panos says, "you only become 'a beast' at sunset"
Paramedic says, "Ah, interesting"
Panos says, "and at sunrise you revert back into your normal state"
Paramedic asks, "does it weaken you any? make you stronger?"
Panos says, "Many have asked me that question"
Panos says, "I can only say that"
Panos says, "I have noticed no change"
Panos says, "of course, to really test for such a change"
Panos says, "one would have to go to the arena"
Panos says, "and run a series of tests"
Paramedic says, "ah yes..."
Panos says, "I have not done this"
Panos says, "but there is something else"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "that this change has an effect on:"
Panos says, "your clothing"
Panos says, "Upon changing forms,"
Panos says, "especially from 'normal' to 'beastly'"
Panos says, "your clothing rips and tears"
Panos says, "in the beginning I did not notice"
Paramedic asks, "It ruins your clothes?"
Panos says, "then I saw my clothing just fall off my body"
Panos says, "after a few changes, yes"
Paramedic says, "How awful. Clothes are expensive"
Panos says, "so..."
Panos says, "if one is a 'clotheshorse'"
Panos says, "it can get expensive"
(Panos laughs)
Paramedic says, "Heh."

LYFE CHANGES

Paramedic asks, "2) Do people treat you differently now that you are a
furry beast?"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "all are curious"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "some are frightened by my appearance"
Paramedic says, "some people fear what they do not understand"
Panos says, "yes it is a natural reaction"
Panos says, "some, especially the women, are attracted by my fur and
want to stroke it"
Panos says, "also the sounds I make startle people"
Panos says, "and my fleas"
Paramedic asks, "When do you make those sounds?"
Panos says, "well, I haven't timed the intervals"
Panos says, "but some of the noises I make can be very unpleasant"
Paramedic asks, "so it just happens?"
Panos says, "for example, farting"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "oh my"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "sad but true"
(Panos sobs quietly)
Panos says, "please continue"
Paramedic asks, "Has anyone threatened you?"
Panos says, "only in jest"
Paramedic says, "I see."
Panos says, "also many have practically begged me to tell them how they
also can become like me"
Paramedic asks, "Ah, so people want to become one like you?"
Panos says, "yes some"
Panos says, "but I think they are very young"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Panos says, "and don't realize the consequences"
Panos says, "there is also a vicious rumor going around"
Panos says, "that I can bite them and turn them into a beast"
Panos says, "very untrue"
Panos says, "people shouldn't shun me"
Paramedic asks, "So you cannot spread the disease yourself?"
Panos says, "no"
Panos becomes confused.

RISING CLAW

Paramedic asks, "3) What does your clan think of your transformation?"
Panos says, "ah you just saw another example"
Panos says, "of what happens to me"
Paramedic says, "confusion..."
Panos says, "I become very confused at times"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "hmmm"
Panos says, "that is a tough question to answer"
Panos says, "the few clanmembers that I see"
(Paramedic listens)
Panos says, "have reacted with sympathy"
Paramedic says, "That's good to hear"
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "unfortunately my clan members and I are on different
schedules"
Panos says, "most of them, that is"
Paramedic says, "Alas."
Panos says, "yes"
Panos says, "it's a shame"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "Fine people in RC"
Panos says, "nice of you to say so, thank you"
(Panos smiles)

LOOKING FORWARD WHILE BEING FURRY

Paramedic asks, "4) So what sort of future do you see for yourself as a
furry beast?"
Panos says, "Well, I would rather cure myself of this condition"
Panos says, "prefer to call it a condition"
Paramedic asks, "How can you be cured?"
Panos says, "but to do so, I need to find the ingredients for the
potion"
Paramedic asks, "Where is the potion available?"
Panos says, "and to further compound the misfortune"
Panos says, "these ingredients (catsbane, scramis egg, tuft of Lyfe
fur) can only be found in the interior of Umbrion's Island"
Althea thinks, "malkor you didn't want to come tonight??"
Panos says, "this makes it very difficult for me"
Paramedic says, "very dangerous to go there"
Althea thinks, "whoops :)"
Panos says, "yes and I am only a third level fighter"
Paramedic thinks, "Can Malkor come out and play?"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think you be getting the cure soon?"
Panos says, "have found a few who are willing to make the potion"
Panos says, "all depends on finding the ingredients (and the cost)"
Panos says, "the potion is called: luminescent"
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Panos says, "some can make it -- given the ingredients"
Panos says, "I _know_ this is possible because some with my condition
have been cured"
Paramedic asks, "So you see this condition as a temporary one?"
Panos says, "as temporary as getting the potion"
Panos says, "_if_ I must get the ingredients"
Panos says, "then it will take longer"
Panos says, "must build up my abilities"
Paramedic asks, "Are there any serious disadvantages to this condition
other than the sounds you make sometimes?"
Panos says, "none that I have percieved"
Panos says, "barring the clothing"
Panos says, "and I don't fancy fancy clothes"
(Panos smiles)
Panos says, "pardon the pun"
Paramedic says, "I see."

WAGGING TONGUES

Paramedic asks, "5) Do you think this is an evil 'brion brother plot,
or a natural phenomenon?"
Panos says, "I'm sorry but I don't really understand your question"
Panos asks, "brion brother?"
Paramedic says, "Umbrion, Tenebrion and his brothers"
Panos says, "Ah"
Panos says, "Well, I must tell you that I have not paid much mind to
all those things"
(Paramedic nods)
Panos says, "find them to be just another form of kaffeklatch"
(Panos smiles)
Paramedic says, "They seem to talk a lot"
Panos says, "well, it is the natural state for some"
Panos says, "wagging tongues
Panos says, "to me it's just babble"
Paramedic says, "I think you've really helped our readers understand
your condition."
Panos says, "I hope so"
Panos says, "because I have noticed a few more with my condition in the
land"
Paramedic says, "It does seem to be spreading, yes."
Panos says, "I would like to also take this opportunity to make a plea"
(Paramedic listens).
Panos says, "To all those who have been afflicted with this condition"
Panos says, "'Brothers and sisters, take off your cloaks! There is
nothing to be ashamed of. Life as Lyfe is good.'"
Paramedic says, "I admire that sentiment"

#####
FISHWRAP TOP 10

Top 10 things PMF stands for:

10. "People Mighty Furry!"
9.  Provide My Flounder
8.  Push Malkor Forward
7.  "Ping, My Foot!"
6.  "Paramedic Might Fall!"
5.  "Pull Monolith, Felicity"
4.  Pogue Mahone and Friends
3.  Puddleby's Mystics Fail
2.  "Push the Mystic into the Fire"
1.  Pretty Much Fishy

#####
ART CONTEST

The Garkazian Order and Sir Goric invites everyone to contribute to
the 1st "Life in Exile" Art contest. There are several categories to
choose from. Prizes include display in the Puddleby Art Museum!!

See Contest scrolls for details.

http://www.altegos.com/contest/clart2.php

Sir Goric for the Gakazian order

#####
DUN'ILSAR SCROLL UPDATE

The Dun'ilsar scrolls are (finally) back up and updated at:

http://homepage.mac.com/dunilsar

Hopefully, they will stay in one place for many moons now. For trivia's
sake, I added the contest numbers back. There have been 72 total
challenges
in the history of Dun'ilsar. Rising Claw is at the top of the mountain
forest currently.

-Fleming
Keeper of the Dun'ilsar Scrolls

#####
INTERVIEW WITH WORLDWALKER
BY JEANNE

Jeanne asks, "Why don't you tell me your story?"

(WorldWalker pulls back his hood to reveal the face of a race you have
never seen before)
WorldWalker says, "As you can see, I am not one of the usual races one
sees here in Puddleby"
WorldWalker says, "WorldWalker is actually not my name."
WorldWalker says, "It is my race."
WorldWalker says, "My true name would be unpronounceable to you."
WorldWalker says, "But since there are no others of my race here, it is
fine that people call me by my race"
WorldWalker says, "since there are none here to confuse me with"
WorldWalker says, "My true name sounds like this:"
(WorldWalker makes a noise that sounds like a cross between the song of
a whale and the chirp of a cricket)
WorldWalker says, "You see why I do not ask Puddleby's residents to
pronounce that."

Jeanne says, "I wonder how your race pronounces the word for grass."

(WorldWalker laughs.)
WorldWalker says, "It is not unlike the sound of a songbird."
WorldWalker says, "Like this:"
(WorldWalker makes a whistling sound, punctuated by clicks.)
WorldWalker says, "It means, "plant life that grows close to the
ground, covering it like a carpet"

WorldWalker says, "As for my race,"
WorldWalker says, "we are not of this plane of existance."
WorldWalker says, "Residents of Puddleby should no doubt be familiar
with the concept of other planes of existence."
WorldWalker says, "Which is why I am comfortable sharing that
information now"
WorldWalker says, "In the year I have been here, I have learned that
many exiles travel the planes"
WorldWalker says, "such as Purgatory, or the Ethereal Plane."
WorldWalker says, "But there are more planes than just these."
WorldWalker says, "There are as many planes of existence as there are
grains of sand on all of the beaches of these islands"
WorldWalker says, "It is the custom of my people to travel these
planes."
WorldWalker says, "I came to your world a number of years ago, to
observe and explore."
WorldWalker says, "I spent many months on Shan Deral, experiencing life
there."
WorldWalker says, "But when it came time for me to return to my realm
and share what I had learned with my people, I found myself trapped."
WorldWalker says, "I do not know why."
WorldWalker says, "That is why I am now going public"
WorldWalker says, "with the hopes that someone who reads Fishwrap may
have a clue as to the reason I am blocked from leaving"
WorldWalker says, "I spent years trapped on Shan Deral, trying to find
out why I could not return home"
WorldWalker says, "to no avail"
WorldWalker says, "I also tried to keep myself hidden, so the forces of
the Emperor would not discover me"
WorldWalker says, "But eventually I was exposed, and exiled here"
WorldWalker says, "So I truly am an exile among exiles"
WorldWalker says, "There are no others of my kind here"
WorldWalker says, "And though I have made many friends"
WorldWalker says, "I still wish to return home"
WorldWalker says, "That is my story, essentially."

Jeanne asks, "In your letter to me, you mentioned not picking a
profession. Why is that important?"

WorldWalker says, "Partially, it is simply because I was hoping I could
leave"
WorldWalker says, "to make a committment to a profession"
WorldWalker says, "would mean I planned on staying"
WorldWalker says, "Of course,"
WorldWalker says, "I may have no say in the matter"
WorldWalker says, "But I keep trying"
WorldWalker says, "I do not know if there are any who can help me"
WorldWalker says, "and it is possible that I may live out my remaining
years here"
WorldWalker says, "But I think it is understandable why I am attempting
to leave."

Jeanne asks, "At what point will you resign to being a permanent exile
here or will you never give up?"

WorldWalker says, "That is a difficult question to answer"
WorldWalker says, "and my answer depends on what day it is, and how I
feel that day"
WorldWalker says, "Some days I despair of ever finding a way home"
WorldWalker says, "Other days, I am determined to find a way"

Jeanne asks, "Your site doesn't have a self-portrait. Will you put one
up?"

WorldWalker says, "I am not an artist"
WorldWalker says, "But perhaps there is one in the lands who would be
interested in doing one of me."
WorldWalker says, "You can describe what you see:"
WorldWalker says, "My face is not unlike the faces of Sylvans, or
Humans, or Dwarves"
WorldWalker says, "or Halflings"
WorldWalker says, "My skin is dark, and rough, though"
WorldWalker says, "brown"
WorldWalker says, "My stature is not tall compared to some exiles"
WorldWalker says, "wearing my cloak, I can be mistaken for a Halfling
or Dwarf"
WorldWalker says, "My voice has an almost musical quality to it, when I
speak your language."
WorldWalker says, "I have 4 fingers and a thumb, as you do"
WorldWalker says, "I am completely bald"
WorldWalker says, "and my ears are simply small holes on the sides of
my head"
WorldWalker says, "My eyes are dark and large"
WorldWalker asks, "Does that description help?"

Jeanne says, "Immensely"

WorldWalker says, "When I am stronger"
WorldWalker says, "I will seek out the wizards of these islands"
WorldWalker says, "Tenebrion especially"
WorldWalker says, "and ask him about my plight"

Jeanne says, "They are tricky folks."

WorldWalker says, "true"
WorldWalker says, "But he is interested in interplanar travel"
WorldWalker says, "and perhaps has insight that will help me"
WorldWalker says, "find an answer to my dilemma"
WorldWalker asks, "why can't I leave?"
WorldWalker says, "All members of my race have the ability to walk
between worlds"
WorldWalker says, "and my people have only to reach out with their
minds"
WorldWalker says, "to part those curtains"
WorldWalker says, "and walk from one world to another"
WorldWalker says, "hence our name"
WorldWalker says, "But when I try to do that"
WorldWalker says, "it is like my mind comes up against not a curtain"
WorldWalker says, "but a stone wall"
WorldWalker says, "I cannot part it"
WorldWalker says, "the only one I can part is the one that leads to
purgatory"
WorldWalker says, "and that one only when I am fallen"
WorldWalker says, "But I cannot begin to describe the feeling I get
when I try to part the curtains in this world"
WorldWalker says, "the closest I could describe it"
WorldWalker says, "is like taking a the softest, most vulnerable part
of yourself"
WorldWalker says, "and rubbing it against a rough rock wall"
WorldWalker says, "normally, the curtains between planes are like silk"
WorldWalker says, "but not here"
WorldWalker says, "that is my dilemma"
WorldWalker says, "Normally we do not reveal ourselves to the
inhabitants of the planes we visit"
WorldWalker says, "unless we see they will understand what and who we
are"
WorldWalker says, "when we are in trouble, we simply part the curtain
and slip back into our own world"
WorldWalker says, "it is how we survive in our explorations"

WorldWalker has a scroll at

http://homepage.mac.com/worldwalker/

If you'd like to draw a picture of WorldWalker for his web site, please
contact him at:

WorldWalker@...

or his Puddleby box at 1900. Also, contact WorldWalker if you have any
information on how he can find his way home again.

#####
NEW DISCUSSION FORUM AND SURVEY

This group is for the purpose of tracking Ethereal fluctuations on the
island of Puddleby and the Lok'Grotton Islands in general.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PES_CL/files/PESC.html

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH KATPUS
BY KORIC

The following is an edited transcript of a conversation between several
exiles and the catapult builder, Katpus, who is now making a home in
the safe cave outside of the northeastern foothills. This conversation
occured 8 Winter 541 [10 Nov 2001]. More details about the Foothills
expedition are in my journal, including sketches and links, at http://
dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html.

I have set apart with a line break and *** the comments made by Katpus
and organized his responses in a more logical manner for easier
understanding. Apologies to exiles whose comments were edited out. I
tried to boil this down to the essentials, leaving out nothing said by
Katpus while omitting several repeated questions and comments by
exiles. I also tried to preserve the gist of exile reaction to some of
Katpus' more interesting news.

To read the transcript of this conversation, please access this scroll:

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/katpus2.html

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH UMBRION
AS RECORDED BY NORM

Perkusi asks, "where's your brother, Umbrion?"
Umbrion says, "I was going to ask you the same thing."
Norm says, "he's missing"
Kodo says, "Congrats on the ledger, Norm"
Trowa says, "heh"
Norm says, "thanks Kodo"
Perkusi asks, "missing? how long?"
Perkusi asks, "How long's he been gone, Umbrion?"
Asmodean says, "heh"
Norm says, "he was making fun of me"
Perkusi says, "try the conference room"
Kodo asks, "Do you not know where your brother has gone?"
Tater says, "aw"
Norm ponders, "my feelings are hurt"
Tater says, "aw"
Perkusi says, "awww"
Trowa asks, "heh that's yer power, Umbrion?"
Perkusi ponders, "hope he doesn't burn the place down!"
Natas says, "yo"
Perkusi says, "Trowa, any dolt can make a fire, silly."
Umbrion asks, "Trowa, want a cracker?"
Trowa says, "Perkusi, you didn't see his confrence room, he likes
things hot, heh"
(Tater stands back)
Trowa asks, "go any brownies?"
Trowa asks, "got any brownies?"
Perkusi says, "yeah, but this place doesn't have the fire protection
that one does, I bet"
Trowa says, "True, his was stone floor"
Perkusi asks, "so Umbrion.... how long's Teeny... I mean Tenebrion been
missing?"
Umbrion asks, "Who says he is missing?"
Perkusi says, "Norm said it."
(Umbrion looks at Norm.)
Trowa says, "make him come out then"
Norm says, "you said you were looking for him"
Norm says, "I haven't seen him"
Norm says, "and I was lying there a while"
Trowa says, "I prolly went to Lugu's isle or something"
Umbrion says, "I can no more make my brother appear than I can make you
say anything intelligent, Trowa."
(Azael laughs)
(Perkusi covers her mouth and snickers.)
Trowa says, "well look who's tlking"
Perkusi asks, "well... so why are you looking for him?"
Tater asks, "Why are you looking for him, Umbrion?"
Trowa ponders, "dang spelling"
Umbrion says, "He missed an appointment, if you must know."
Norm asks, "can't you just sunstone him?"
Trowa says, "heh"
Trowa asks, "you his dentist?"
Tater asks, "An appointment for what?"
Umbrion says, "He must have left his sunstone in his other dashing
black suit."
Norm asks, "no answer when you try, huh?"
Trowa ponders, "lol"
Azael ponders, "hmmm"
Norm says, "perhaps he's deep in his studies in his library"
Umbrion says, "I'm sure he is simply engrossed in some experiment or
other."
Perkusi asks, "tried talking to your other brothers to see if he's
visiting yet?"
Norm asks, "he does have a library, doesn't he?"
Umbrion says, "We have many books. Many libraries."
Tater says, "I've never seen yours."
Perkusi says, "um... I've seen it. Aldernon was there."
Natas says, "ive seen Umbrion's but never Tenebrion's"
Perkusi ponders, "good thing we got him home. Creepy."
Tater says, "I wasn't able to go help rescue him."
Umbrion asks, "How is my friend, the sylvan?"
Perkusi exclaims, "He's just fine. Happy and all that!"
(Umbrion looks dubious.)
Perkusi says, "has to keep warm a lot, though."
Trowa says, "*cough* Perkusi, up Aldernon's dosage"
(Perkusi glares at Trowa)
Trowa says, "I was joking"
Umbrion asks, "Have any of you brought me a stone stolen from the
orga?"
Perkusi says, "nope, sorry. I haven't ever had my hands on one of
them."
Norm says, "I'm afraid we're all out"
Norm says, "need a mystic to get them"
Trowa says, "yah"
Tater asks, "I don't think our last raid was successful, was it?"
Perkusi asks, "why would we want to give you one again?"
Norm says, "I heard it wasn't"
Tater says, "And I'm not sure it was intended for you, either."
Asmodean ponders, "I thought the deal for the strange stone was with
Tenebrion.."
Umbrion says, "Because it is in everyone's best interest, Perkusi."
Tater says, "We have other uses for them as well."
Perkusi asks, "really? explain how that is?"
Umbrion says, "do you, Tater? Please explain."
Perkusi asks, "I mean, I'm just a Zo, so go slow, small words and such.
How would that be in my best interest?"
Tater says, "I don't know a lot, but we may be able to teleport groups
with them."
Tater says, "That sounds useful to us."
Tater says, "Well, to me, anyway."
Perkusi asks, "well, sounds pretty useful yeah. Thing is, is this
something you brothers should have in your hands?"
Umbrion says, "And we offer interplanar travel without risk to the
ethereal boundaries."
Norm says, "speaking of etheral boundaries..."
Natas asks, "how many stones have you received so far?"
Azael ponders, "they solved the ether leaking problem?"
(Umbrion looks sadly at the dying flames.)
Norm says, "what's up with those amulets"
Norm says, "they seem to give wildly different readings all the time"
Trowa says, "I got 2 wood, Umbrion"
Tater says, "They're kind of flimsy too."
Natas asks, "and how many more stones do you expect in order to open
the portal?"
Umbrion asks, "Don't you need that wood to keep your ears apart,
Trowa?"
(Asmodean snickers)
Norm ponders, "nyuck nyuck"
Trowa says, "heh no I was gonna donate it when I got to Puddleby"
Asmodean ponders, "to science?"
Tater thinks to you, "ok, that was funny."
Perkusi says, "so anyway, enough about Trowa's wood.... *cough*"
(Azael chuckles.)
Umbrion says, "Six stones, Natas."
Perkusi asks, "you need six, or you've gotten six?"
Umbrion says, "We require six."
Natas says, "heh what Perkusi said"
Tater asks, "How many have you received?"
Perkusi asks, "Six more. how many do you have now?"
Natas asks, "and you have received none?"
Umbrion says, "To my knowledge, none."
Trowa says, "I thought we gave Tenebrion a ton"
Perkusi asks, "hm. How do you know how many you need? books tell you
that?"
Natas ponders, "I remember when it was supposed to be 50"
Asmodean says, "strange stones not ore"
Norm says, "it was a compromise, Perkusi"
Norm says, "they wanted more at first"
Umbrion says, "Experimentation and experience, Perkusi. And intuition."
Norm says, "these are the FMOCR stones, from the power room"
Perkusi says, "alrighty"
(Perkusi nods)
Norm ponders, "sometimes called the "powder room""
Perkusi says, "well, I'm just wondering what you'll use em for"
(Umbrion blows on his hands.)
Umbrion says, "And I have told you."
Asmodean ponders, "interplanar teleportation?"
Perkusi says, "oh, sorry. Haven't told me. I don't get to read much
these days. Two kids and all that."
Norm ponders, "three if you count Kodo"
(Trowa laughs)
Perkusi exclaims, "I figger someone's written about it somewhere, but
finding time to hunt that down is not easy!"
Natas says, "from what i understand he will open a 2 way portal to the
etheral plane"
Perkusi says, "I see"
Umbrion says, "Natas is correct."
Perkusi exclaims, "and we just have to take his word on that?!"
Trowa says, "those slugs are great experience"
Perkusi asks, "what sign of good faith did we get, if any?"
Tater says, "I wonder if this will be a permanent portal, or he'll
continuously require stones from us."
Asmodean asks, "denizens of the Ethereal Plane will be able to freely
enter Puddleby?"
Perkusi says, "I mean, sorry Umbrion, but I'm not really used to
dealing with folks who stand behind large barriers to talk to me."
Umbrion asks, "When have I -- or my brothers -- failed to meet our end
of a bargain?"
(Trowa shrugs)
Perkusi says, "beats me. Most of your bargains aren't talked about
generally in town."
Umbrion exclaims, "Good faith, indeed!"
Norm asks, "are you getting any good readings from the ethereal
amulets, umbrion?"
Trowa says, "Uumbrion, are you the reason why albino mahas are so rare?
all your scholars and empty bodies have them"
Umbrion says, "I was under the impression that some of your people were
undertaking that task."
(Tater nods)
Norm asks, "yeah, have you seen the results?"
Perkusi says, "I think there are people using them to take readings."
Norm says, "yep"
Umbrion says, "I have been shown a few books of notes."
Perkusi says, "dunno what they're doing with them though."
Norm says, "they are highly variable readings"
Norm says, "they are making a map, but it's slow work"
Perkusi asks, "oh yeah, something weird around noids, right?"
Umbrion says, "Fluctuation is natural, Norm. It is the areas of extreme
highs and lows that are of interest."
Tater says, "Neige was even taking readings in the Foothills."
(Umbrion shivers a little.)
Tater asks, "Do you require readings from that far away?"
Perkusi says, "ah, okie. I'll try to make sure to tell Babajaga that,
Umbrion. She's got a nice place for us to read about stuff, I think."
Norm asks, "so an occasional high reading is of no interest, but a lot
of extreme readings indicates something going on?"
Umbrion says, "If the reader is skilled, Norm."
Norm says, "there are a few skilled mystics now"
Umbrion says, "Tater, distance is not always a meaningful notion."
(Asmodean chuckles)
(Perkusi waves her cad in Asmodean's direction)
Perkusi asks, "so is ether leaking out too much? Is that the problem?"
Norm asks, "once we identify extreme ether locations, what happens
then?"
Perkusi asks, "better yet, is there a problem to speak of at all?"
Norm asks, "plug the holes with ducktape?"
Umbrion says, "We will study the results, and learn the extent of the
damage you have caused, Norm."
Tater ponders, "Ducktape fixes anything!"
Norm ponders, "quack!"
Perkusi asks, "how have we caused damage?"
Tater asks, "Us?"
Norm says, "er, the 'brions say all our departing from ep caused the
problem"
Trowa ponders, "metal ducktape fixes ether up good!"
Umbrion says, "By travelling between the planes in an -- ungainly --
manner."
Perkusi says, "can you explain how that manner is "ungainly?""
Norm ponders, "note to self: depart gracefully next time"
Tater says, "I know you say that, but we didn't have problems till you
guys showed up on the scene."
Perkusi says, "I mean, it's always been something we do when we lose
hope."
(Azael chuckles.)
(Trowa chuckles.)
Umbrion says, "You have chopped through walls, rather than find a door
you could pass through."
Norm says, "that's the idea behind the portal, to be a nice safe door"
Umbrion says, "We "showed up" because of the problems you caused."
Perkusi says, "hm... Tater has a point, Umbrion. Wasn't a problem until
we were able to see Tenebrion's place here."
Umbrion asks, "And what does that tell you, Perkusi?"
Tater says, "Then all of a sudden, I'm falling to ether clouds in town
center."
Perkusi asks, "now wait a minute. are you saying all of those departing
times were a problem?"
Norm says, "we couldn't get to the Ethereal Plane until we met
Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "If it was done from the ether, Perkusi."
Trowa ponders, "Soulmaster did most of it with his 567 departs then"
Norm asks, "so is damage done to the ether any time we depart, even if
not from ep?"
Perkusi asks, "were we able to get to the Ethereal Plane before we
found Tenebrion's little basement of goodies?"
Umbrion says, "That I do not know, Norm."
Natas says, "if that's the case I've done a big chunk of damage"
Norm says, "we departed quite a bit without seeing ether clouds"
Trowa says, "me too"
Norm says, "back before the war and all"
Norm says, "i still think you have a chicken and egg problem there
umbrion"
Azael ponders, "Even after the war."
Umbrion says, "My conference room is so much cozier than this."
Perkusi says, "your conference room requires a bit more than a few
exiles to reach."
Trowa ponders, "and all the Agratis people depart tons of times - can't
be good if that's the case"
Natas says, "let's set fire to it so Umbrion can fell more at home"
Trowa asks, "anyone other then Umbrion got a tinder box?"
Umbrion says, "Tempting, Natas. But I fear my brother would object."
Natas asks, "ya think?"
Perkusi says, "you could just burn the desk."
(Norm twirls his axe.)
Umbrion says, "You're a quiet group. Such a nice change."
(Perkusi grins.)
Perkusi says, "I imagine so."
(Tater thinks)
Norm says, "I still want to know what is going to happen once you
identify an ether hotspot"
Perkusi says, "I really just wanna know what the deal with the ether
is, and why we should be worried about it."
Tater ponders, "that's a good question!"
(Trowa starts to yell but pauses remeber Umbrion's flame which didn't
even get him to green)
Umbrion asks, "Perkusi, would you worry about a tiny leak in a dike?"
Perkusi says, "guess I would."
Trowa ponders, "yes"
Norm says, "the worry is all ether clouds all the time"
Tater says, "Because if you don't stick your finger in it, it gets
bigger and bigger."
Umbrion says, "This is little different"
Natas says, "there is no point in worrying"
Perkusi asks, "thing is, what is the ether, really? What is going to
happen if it leaks out?"
Natas says, "either do something 'bout it or not"
Asmodean shows his small crystal shard to everyone.
Umbrion says, "If it pours forth, full force, into this plane, the
devastation would be absolute."
Perkusi says, "um..."
Tater asks, "What do you think it would be like?"
(Azael hums.)
Tater asks, "Millions of those clouds?"
Norm says, "all ether clouds all the time"
Trowa says, "sorta like a big worldwide flood, only it radioactive"
Umbrion says, "My brother is the expert on what death is like, Tater."
Tater says, "oh..."
Azriel says, "G'day sir"
Tater ponders, "death"
Tater says, "Hi Azriel."
(Umbrion nods to Azriel.)
Perkusi says, "Hi Az"
Natas says, "yo"
(Azael waves to Perkusi)
Perkusi says, "not you Az, the other Az! :P"
Trowa ponders, "expert eh? well, let's see"
Azael ponders, "Oh hmm"
Norm says, "Well, thanks for the rescue everybody"
Umbrion says, "Well, I think I shall be going..."
Azriel says, "I seem to feel your brother Tenebrion's attention upon me
this day"
Trowa ponders, "the only way is if Umbrion killed him"
Tater says, "I need to as well."
Norm says, "bye Umbrion"
Azael ponders, "One too much Az here"
Umbrion says, "But you've all been so courteous today..."
Perkusi asks, "so why is the ether under your domain?"
Norm says, "hard to believe, polite exiles"
Natas says, "even Trowa"
Asmodean says, "take care, Um"
(Trowa chuckles)
Umbrion asks, "Would one of you like an amulet?"
Natas exclaims, "me me me!"
Trowa says, "me"
Asmodean says, "hehe"
Norm asks, "with cheese?"
(Tater giggles)
Perkusi says, "I have a mystic friend in my clan who might like it"
Trowa says, "give it to Perkusi"
Norm says, "I like western amulets with cheese"
Asmodean says, "lol"
Perkusi says, "He might be able to do something useful with it."
Umbrion says, "Decide amongst yourselves. Otherwise, Natas asked
first."
Norm says, "I think you need a mystic to run it, natas"
Natas says, "no that's ok Perkusi can have it"
Trowa says, "all for Perkusi say aye""
Tater says, "Yes, sure."
Norm says, "ok, Perkusi it is"
Azriel asks, "why, they ruin them as fast as any of us wuld?"
Trowa says, "aye"
Asmodean asks, "do you need to have a keen mind to use an amulet?"
Umbrion says, "Of course, if you had something of real value, I might
part with this..."
Umbrion shows his ethereal portal stone to everyone.
Norm exclaims, "heh!"
Trowa exclaims, "I got wheat!"
Perkusi says, "I have a few instrument parts, that's about it."
Natas shows his powdery white rock to everyone.
Trowa says, "umm an orga eye, ss, ore"
Norm says, "you need a trained mystic to use the amulet"
Azriel says, "I have brambleberries"
Azriel says, "heh"
Trowa says, "wood"
Asmodean says, "ah"
Trowa says, "candy"
Natas shows his orga drum to Umbrion.
Asmodean asks, "'Full' Mystic?"
Kodo thinks, "town it is"
Tater says, "I have an Uli flower."
Umbrion says, "I guess all you get is an amulet..."
Perkusi says, "but really, I'd rather just give the amulet to someone
who can use it."
Norm says, "I'm not sure"
Natas ponders, "I have nothin' he wants"
Umbrion says, "then do so, Perkusi."
Perkusi says, "alrighty"
Tater says, "They kinda help with those closer to death when combined
with a spore ;)"
Trowa exclaims, "we'll trade Norm for the stone!"
Norm says, "but they need to be trained by that person in Umbrion's
keep"
Asmodean says, "ah"
Norm says, "hey, I'm not worth that much"
Umbrion says, "approach"
Trowa says, "bah"
Trowa says, "Tater's lighter"
Norm says, "Tater is much more valuable"
Tater says, "Go away from me."
(Perkusi nods.)
Perkusi says, "Alright."
Umbrion says, "Good day."
Perkusi ponders, "weird......"
Trowa says, "hehe"
(Asmodean waves)
Norm says, "well, that was interesting"
Tater says, "I should go help Cyber."
Azriel asks, "who left the back door open?"
Perkusi says, "time to get to the library and write some stuff down"
Perkusi says, "Cyber's in town and up"
Umbrion is no longer Clanning.

#####
ROVING REPORTER
BY HELLPOP

I came out of the library on what I expected to be a slow evening just
around midnight on Merdi the 29th summer, when I was greeted by the
sight of exiles dancing and chanting in the middle of town. Merlisk and
Wangah Rah were performing some kind of ritual and screaming for
Wendies to be brought to town. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rock whizzed
by my head just missing me, but felling a poor exile to my right.

Five Angry Mother Sasquatches ran through town bashing exiles with
their maternal fists and heaving rocks at those who tried to run away.
The carnage was incredible. In a few brief seconds almost all of the
town was lying at the mercy of these Angry Mothers. I spent most of the
time fallen in the temple with quite a few other exiles as a hasty
battle was fought. The Angry Mothers were dispatched after much hoo-haa
and I took the short breather from the excitement to talk to the two
summoners about their mojo in town.

Hellpop asks, "So guys.... what happened?"
(Wangah Rah looks to Merlisk)
Merlisk says, "Well..."
(Koric listens.)
(Merlisk looks down in shame)
Wangah Rah hides his magic stick)
Merlisk says, "I was, uh, bored"
(Koric is looking for a brief summary for his journal.)
Wangah Rah says, "Me too"
Merlisk says, "So, I asked Wangah Rah to help me with a spell"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "A little spell!"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk says, "First, I wanted Darshak"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "They came!"
Merlisk says, "but others convinced me that wendies had more fur"
Hellpop asks, "The Darshak came first?"
Merlisk says, "So, I, uh, we, uh...cast it"
Merlisk says, "aye...2 Darshak"
Wangah Rah says, "Nothing happened the first time though"
(Hellpop nods)
Merlisk says, "Usin' Breeze's hair"
Wangah Rah says, "Until you realized we needed a virgin"
(Merlisk nods)
Koric asks, "How did you gain the ability to cast this spell?"
Merlisk says, "Well, ... I rather not say"
Koric asks, "What gave you the idea you could even pull off such a
summoning?"
Hellpop asks, "And what made you realize you needed a virgin?"
(Wangah Rah looks uncomfortable)
Merlisk says, "Again, I rather not say"
Koric says, "oooooookay"
Merlisk exclaims, "I don't want this to ever happen again!"
(Wangah Rah nods)
Wangah Rah asks, "But after the Darshak, whose hair did we use?"
Merlisk says, "So, anyway..."
Merlisk says, "Audyo's I think"
Koric says, "Ok, well, I guess that's about all I can use then."
Wangah Rah says, "Yeah...we got a feral"
Merlisk says, "But, well, he didn't turn out to be a virgin either"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Liars mess up our spells"
Hellpop asks, "I thought it was Tarfette?"
Merlisk says, "So, Tarfette volunteered her hair"
Hellpop says, "I see."
(Wangah Rah grimaces)
Merlisk exclaims, "she said she was!"
(Merlisk hangs his head in shame)
Wangah Rah says, "She said just caused she didn't look like one...."
Merlisk says, "So, I used it"
Merlisk exclaims, "and...5 Angry Mother Sasquatches showed up!"
(Merlisk weeps)
Wangah Rah exclaims, "We didn't mean for Angry Mother Sasquatch!"
Koric says, "Some kinda spell required a virgin's hair, you used
Tarfette's, tried to summon Wendies..."
Koric asks, "And then 5 Angry Mother Sasquatches showed up?"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "It was supposed to be wendies!"
(Merlisk nods)
Merlisk exclaims, "aye!"
Hellpop says, "So there was the virgin hair and I saw some dancing"
Merlisk exclaims, "Wendies!"
Merlisk says, "Chantin', dancin', and boostin'"
Wangah Rah says, "Then we burned the hair with herbs"
Koric says, "Gotta sleep now, though."
(Koric smiles and waves.)
Merlisk says, "ssh, Wangah Rah"
(Wangah Rah waves)
(Merlisk gasps!)
Merlisk exclaims, "ssh, Wangah Rah!"
Merlisk says, "Don't put that in, Hellpop"
Hellpop says, "Oh, of course not."
Wangah Rah exclaims, "I mean we pretended too!"
Hellpop says, "heh"
Wangah Rah asks, "Is this being recorded?"
Merlisk says, "yeah, that's it"
(Wangah Rah checks Hellpop over)
Hellpop asks, "So the dancing was the mojo that tipped it over?"
Wangah Rah says, "Hmm"
Merlisk says, "Hmmm..."
Merlisk says, "He looks clean"
Wangah Rah says, "OK"
Wangah Rah says, "We'll continue talking."
Merlisk says, "Aye, the dancin' did it"
Wangah Rah says, "It was like this"
Merlisk says, "And, well, maybe the prayer to Gaia"
(Wangah Rah chants and dances)
Hellpop says, "Ohhhhh..."
Hellpop says, "most impressive"
(Merlisk won't do his)
Wangah Rah says, "Merlisk's is secret"
Merlisk exclaims, "Enough trouble has been caused!"
Hellpop asks, "So what are your feelings about this show of power?"
Merlisk says, "Shame"
Wangah Rah says, "I'm just his lackey"
Wangah Rah says, "Yeah, I feel really bad"
(Merlisk puts his face in his hands)
Merlisk exclaims, "I'll never, ever do it again!"
(Merlisk promises)
(Wangah Rah cries)
(Hellpop pats Merlisk on the back)
(Merlisk sees Wangah Rah and starts to weep too)
(Merlisk sniffs)
Merlisk says, "thanks"
Hellpop says, "There, there..."
(Wangah Rah sniffs)
Hellpop asks, "So... Is this the first time you have tried a
summoning?"
Wangah Rah says, "My first time."
Wangah Rah says, "Well, I watched someone once."
Hellpop asks, "Who was that?"
Wangah Rah asks, "So I guess that makes me an expert, right?"
Merlisk says, "Well, I'm afraid it's my second"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "Shh I can't tell!"
Hellpop asks, "Really?"
Hellpop asks, "What did you summon before Merlisk?"
(Merlisk considers)
Merlisk says, "Well, not much"
Merlisk says, "I just got smoke and a few flames"
(Hellpop nods)
Merlisk ponders, "Auntie would be proud of me!"
(Wangah Rah grins)
Wangah Rah says, "Oh"
Hellpop asks, "So this is the end of the Merlisk/Wangah mojo?"
Merlisk exclaims, "aye!"
Merlisk exclaims, "no more!"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "Ever!"
(Merlisk promises)
Wangah Rah ponders, "Well, maybe once more"
Merlisk ponders, "until next week"
Hellpop says, "Ok."
Wangah Rah ponders, "2 times next week"
Hellpop says, "Thanks very much for the Fishwrap interview"
(Merlisk looks sincere)
Merlisk says, "thank you"
(Wangah Rah cries again)
Hellpop asks, "Anything you want to say to the readers?"
Merlisk says, "Please tell everyone that we're very, very sorry"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "I'd like to say, share your local mystic!"
Hellpop says, "After this they just might."
Merlisk says, "And we promise no more monkey business"
Wangah Rah exclaims, "No more monkey business!"
Wangah Rah ponders, "Perhaps...kittie business?"
Merlisk exclaims, "No more monkey business!"
Hellpop says, "Thanks."
Merlisk says, "thank you"
Wangah Rah says, "Tanki"
(Merlisk waves)

#####
PUDDLEBY UNDERGROUND MAPPED

Just to let you know:

I have mapped the (ever-expanding) Puddleby Underground.

The maps can be found at:

http://homepage.mac.com/worldwalker/underground.html

-WorldWalker

#####
REPORTS ON THE NOX SORORA CHAPTERHOUSE FIRE

1) From MrFancyPants, as dictated by Jo Ma'ril.

Paramedic,

Here's my account of the events surrounding the burning of the Nox
Sorora Chapterhouse.

Awhile back, I found a odd, crumbly black rock on Devil's Island. After
finding it, I went to town and showed it around, to see if anyone knew
what to do with it. I was approached by a member of clan Hunter, who
told me that their clan was gathering the stones, in the hopes of
finding what they do. I agreed to help with their research, but not to
give them my stone, as I didn't want them to make any decisions that
might harm anyone.

Time went by, we tried many different things with the stones, but
nothing seemed to have any affect. We were approached by a woman named
Agrath, and a woman named Lacrima about the stones. They both claimed
the rocks could be used in an enchantment to stop a great evil. Since I
generally dislike evil, this sounded like something I'd be interested
in! Agrath seemed more...friendly, though, and so I agreed to meet with
her at a later date.

Several members of Hunter, I, and various others who were nearby
gathered in Bumgal's hut to hear what these stones could do. Agrath
claimed the stones had the power to weaken the followers of the Night,
in particular the Nox Sorora. Moreover, she claimed that the stones had
no other purpose than this. I, however, didn't think this was true - I
thought there might be another use for them, and wanted to do more
research. However, she did make me suspicious about the Nox Sorora. Why
did they need a chapterhouse in town? It made me wonder...Agrath said
she didn't know how to use the stones herself, but she had a friend who
did, and would take him to us. Upon further questioning, it was
revealed that we didn't actually have to use the enchantment against
the Nox. After the enchantment was made, it would be given to us, and
the final decision on wether to use it or not would come from us.
Because of this I felt that I would be able to discover the uses of the
stones, and not harm anyone unless they deserved it. But did the Nox
deserve to lose their chapterhouse? I had to find out on my own.

So a few days later, I questioned some friends of mine who are in the
Nox, about their chapterhouse, their beliefs, etc. Much to my chagrin,
they were very secretive about the affair, and I felt they were hiding
something important from me. Because of this, I agreed to go along with
Hunter and Agrath and use the stones, but not to use the enchantment
without careful thought.

A few days ago, the scheduled meeting took place. A small escort of
mostly Hunter followed Agrath to Ash Island. We entered the campfire,
and slipped through a hidden passage into a section of the outpost we
had never seen before. Agrath told the escort to wait outside, while
D'Noma, Rel'lim and I entered a hut where the fellow we were meeting
was waiting.

To our shock, he was a Darshak priest! Rel'lim and I almost struck him
down on the spot, but D'Noma and Agrath stopped us before we acted
rashly. There was much debate, we weren't sure wether to trust the
Darshak or not. However, we felt that nothing potentially bad would
happen unless we used the enchantment against the Nox. In fact, the
Darshak fellow seemed nervous when I asked him if the enchantment could
be used against the Darshak. I sensed a great opportunity to strike at
the Darshak here, and decided to hand over my stones, as did Rel'lim.

The Darshak fellow performed some Alchemy, and handed D'Noma a flask.
He said to pull the string and run near the chapterhouse, and it would
do its job. We headed back to town and started discussing whether or
not to use it. At this point I decided it was time to hear the Nox's
view as well, and I strolled over to their chapterhouse, sat down, and
asked them some questions.

In the midst of my asking, Polgara, whom I haven't seen since long
before the Ripture War, ran up out of nowhere and dropped a flask just
like ours next to the chapterhouse and ran. It promptly exploded and
the chapterhouse burned to the ground, while Nox members threw
themselves upon it trying to put out the flames. Rel'lim came running
as soon as he heard the news, and showed me the Flask was indeed still
in his hands, he had not used it nor given it to Polgara. This leads me
to one of two conclusions: either Agrath had a deal with another party
(Polgara's party), or there was enough mixture left after our flask was
made for a second flask, and Agrath gave that to Polgara.

It seems the Darshak tricked me, and I am very sorry for the sorrow it
has caused. My intentions were not to harm your chapterhouse, as you
can see, but only to find a weapon that could be used against
Puddleby's enemies.

-MrFancyPants, as dictated by Jo Ma'ril.

2) From Arod of Clan Hunter:

Hunter Clan and the Nox Chapterhouse's Destruction

Some months ago Clan Hunter was approached by an exile who warned of
dire things that would happen if the Nox Chapterhouse was completed.
Over the last several months some members of Hunter have worked hard on
a project suggested by this stranger. Just the other day, the Nox
Chapterhouse under construction in the northeast corner of Puddleby was
destroyed at the very moment we Hunters discussed whether to do that
very thing.

I speak here for myself, and my views may not concur with those of my
clanmates.

First, I will always fight against the dark powers that are behind the
foul undine, the walking dead and the spirits of the dead given form
that have troubled us and the Empire back home for years beyond number.
Unfortunately, Nox Sorora dabbles with these powers: I therefore stand
against them. It is also true that many in Nox know little or nothing
of the Nox's involvement with these dark powers, and to these fine
folks I say: think carefully of what your fellow Sororans do when it
comes to the undine, an implacable enemy of the living. If you do not
agree that the undine are evil and must be fought with all our
strength, then you will naturally not agree with anything else I say.
So be it. Please note I have taken the time to learn what the Nox say
about themselves, and I trust the evidence of my own eyes as well.

Second, when the stranger approached us, we Hunters were extremely
skeptical. We viewed the claims the stranger made with suspicion, and
pursued the quest offered by the stranger with a great deal of caution.
On a recent night [10/11/01], the quest was completed, and the stranger
bid us to take the next step. This we did; I for one freely admit it,
for as I have mentioned I stand firmly against the dark powers that are
involved with the undine.

Third, it became clear to me (and this is a matter of conjecture) that
as the plan came together, and no trickery was revealed, that we indeed
had a weapon that would destroy the chapterhouse. It became equally
clear that the Darshak Sage who made this weapon wanted the
chapterhouse destroyed for his and the Darshak's own reasons, and that
we were being recruited to aid them. As the enemy of one's enemy is not
always your friend, I was willing to consider this blow against the
dark powers I saw gathering within our town's very walls. Better to
help an enemy a little by helping it eliminate a rival dark power in
our midst than allowing the growth of dark powers within our town, went
my thinking.

Fourth, once we had this weapon, we were urged forward by the stranger,
but Hunter took the time to really examine the question. Though all had
seemed on the "up and up" so far, there was no telling what this weapon
would really do, once used. Naturally, we gave careful thought to the
question of whether it was proper for Hunter to take unilateral action
in this matter. Not all Hunters see the darker side of the Nox in the
same light I do, for example, while others worried how such an action
might rebound upon our entire clan.

Fifth, while we discussed this question, someone else destroyed the
chapterhouse, using, we imagine, a weapon much like the one we still
hold. When some of us emerged from our discussion to view the ruins,
some began to say we Hunters were responsible. Although I was for
destroying the house, and some Hunters agreed with me, _we Hunters did
not do this thing_. Others argue that by going to the Darshak to have
the weapon made we enabled another to be made secretly, and it was this
second weapon that was used. This is unlikely, since Oak'm's beard
trimmer suggests that, simply enough, someone else completed the
necessary quest to gain such a weapon...and then used it.

Sixth, after the chapterhouse was destroyed and Hunter was
(incorrectly) linked to the act, a number of exiles made shrill, hasty
statements about having Hunter banned from dunilsar, being
excommunicated from something called Makros, and so on. I hope that in
the warm light of day these suggestions will be given more thought.
Hate me, if you will, for my views, but Hunter gave special and
painstaking attention to the question of using the weapon--so much
attention that in the end the question became moot.

Seventh, we have opened a very interesting chapter in Puddleby
politics. It will be interesting to see where all this takes us. No
matter what happens, you can rely on Lord Arod of Hunter to tell you
how it is (or keep his mouth shut). If you'd like to complain to me
directly, I have a post office box in Puddleby.

--Lord Arod, a Founder of Hunter and betrothed to the Lady D'Noma
Thornapple

3) By Shepherd

My friends, I am almost at a loss for words. The Nox Sorora
chapterhouse has been destroyed, and Lacrima is dead. I will try to
recount the horrible events as best as I can recall them.

I left the library that fateful day at the urgent callings of my
Priestess and my Brothers and Sisters. They seemed to be fearful that
the chapterhouse was in danger. There had been rumors circulating about
some colored stones, but I had paid them no heed. Even my clanmate
Forey warned me of a danger to our sanctuary. My Goddess, I did not
listen! I was so foolish!

Many, many members of the Sisterhood were gathered about the
chapterhouse. You can see most of them in my sketches. We did not know
the nature of the danger, as the word was that clan Hunter had the
means to cast a ward against us upon our chapterhouse. If only that
were the extent of the danger! We gathered about it, attempting to
protect it from any attack. Lacrima was skulking about, but I knew
trouble was brewing because the Matre was also there. Those two have
never met, and both are very powerful. As you can see, the Matre was
cloaked in darkness, due to some sort of rite of protection that she
had cast in the days before the attack. The other Sisters - Indigo,
Anaeka, Luna - were casting various incantations to protect those in
their circles.

The Gens Dea Drenn was there, looking very ill. So was Urgelt, who was
urging peace and empathy. Lacrima's weakness, he said, was that she
could feel no empathy, and thus could not anticipate the actions of her
opponents. I believe him, for I know that Lacrima is a creature devoid
of feeling. Yet, deep inside her, there is an innocence...

I know Lacrima was involved in this terrible destruction because she
paid Crius to request the stones that made the incendiary. Babajaga
seems to indicate that the Darshak are involved, as well... she says
that a Darshak Sage was consulted to convert the stones into the Ward.
There is also a woman, Agrath, who is quite hateful to my Sisterhood...
and clan Hunter.

When I arrived on this scene, as I understood, clan Hunter was debating
what to do with the Ward, while Lacrima came to taunt us. She quickly
left, however, fearful for her life... had she been wiser, she would
have remained away.

At this point, I lost consciousness briefly, and when I awoke, I forgot
to continue making sketches of what I saw. I will fill in the rest of
the story in more detail when I obtain detail from others who were
there.

Clan Hunter arrived to ask us some questions about the chapterhouse.
They were fearful, it seemed, that it would be used to unleash an army
of undine against the town. The Matre assured them that the
chapterhouse would only be used to glorify Her presence, and that it
would be a place of study and reflection. I believe her wording was,
"It will be used to bring the blessing of Night to Puddleby". Hunter,
represented by Lord Arod, was doubtful of the benevolent protection
that Mother Night offers to this town, thus their quest to obtain means
to destroy our chapterhouse.

While they debated, a long-lost exile named Polgara arrived with a
flask similar to the one Hunter obtained! Despite our ring around the
chapterhouse, she cast it at its base, and next I knew, there was fire
all around! Oh, it was horrible, the screams of burning exiles, and our
years of effort going up in flames like so many of the Sisters who have
been persecuted on the mainland! Never have I seen such a blast, not
from Orga Warlocks, not from Fire Walkers, not even from Umbrion. I do
not recall much from this period, as all was fire and smoke as I tried
to heal my comrades and pull the wounded from the inferno. Truly it was
the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed, far more tragic than the
death of my father at the hands of my home village.

The Matre was enraged! She drew the Nox Calamus and charged at Lacrima,
who had come to gloat and perhaps stick her dagger into those who might
have survived the blaze. But Lacrima had a blade, too, one I had not
heard of- but it was evident that these two blades were like Night and
Day. Whenever they clashed, the air crackled, and it was if the world
was shaking. Lacrima's blows against the Matre seemed to bounce off a
dark cloak, which I presume was Agate, Handmaiden of Night, whose
protection Matre Naamah had called for in her earlier Rite.

Seeing that her blade was ineffective, Lacrima began to attack Naamah's
mind, but reeled when she encountered the Matre's iron will. You see,
Lacrima has been harassing our Sisterhood for many years now, and has
the ability to cause great pain and injury to the Sisters. But she had
never encountered the Matre, and I suspect that she anticipated the
same abilities and strengths as a Sister. But the Matre is a mystery -
she has no Gens, and what I've read of the Nox Sorora canon seems to
indicate that she was conceived without Leviathan's taint, which means
that she is the daughter of a Matre and none other. While I've always
received guidance and wisdom from our chapter's leader, she is cold...
they say that as a Priestess advances in Her glory, more and more of
her mind is the pure manifestation of Night and less the individual
whose body is the vessel of Her will. I cannot imagine the holiness of
the Honored Matre, who exists far away yet seems to communicate with
Naamah somehow.

Thus the Matre's might and power overcame the Bringer of Tears. I think
Lacrima was stunned by the power she encountered in Naamah's mind, and
that allowed an opening for the Nox Calamus. I wish I had been able to
look Lacrima in the eyes as Naamah twisted the blade in her gut, but I
was trying to extinguish the flames on the chapterhouse and on my
friends. Lacrima has caused us all much pain over the years.

So you see, the burning of the chapterhouse is but a side note to a
greater cusp - the meeting of Lacrima and Naamah and the subsequent
death of Lacrima. Clan Hunter, the Darshak, Polgara, they are all
puppets of this evil mastermind. She has struck a terrible blow to us
this day, and gained a victory for the Darshak, but with thanks to the
Eternal Mother, she will torment us no more. As Lacrima died, she
seemed to disappear into the Nox Calamus, and though I searched the
battleground, I could find no trace of her bright blade.

Afterwards, the healthier members of the Nox Sorora led a raid on Ash
Island. Many Darshak died at Nox Sorora hands that morning, and they
will be joined by many of their brethren. I did not go, I was too
distraught. Jazz has a recount of that raid.

My clanmate, Kira, is caring for Polgara and no doubt hiding her from
the vengeance of my Sisters. Kira says that Polgara is not well, and
seems to have been possessed by something. I know nothing more about
this, but will continue to record here what I learned.

Clan Hunter has issued a statement regarding their participation in
this destruction. They claim innocence by virtue of being beaten to the
punch, but I am not convinced that Polgara did not wield the same flask
that they obtained, passed to her possessed form as a distraction.
Speculation aside, we know these things for sure:

* Lacrima was the architect of this plot, as evidenced by her Crius
announcement and her gloating on the scene.

* Clan Hunter admits that they conspired with the Darshak to obtain
their Ward. Arod and Rel'lim are admitted participants in this plot, I
do not know which other members of the clan are in league with the
Darshak.

* Those guilty will stand in judgement before the Night Mother and no
mortal, the town court may issue what judgement it wishes but the
responsible parties will ultimately answer to Her. Thus I urge no
retaliation from neither my chapter nor any townmember who allows rage
to overrule their mind. Townsfolk who are uncomfortable with having
allies of the Darshak amongst them will likely sanction the traitors as
they see fit, but I urge that it be for Clan Hunter's cooperation with
the Darshak, and not for the crime which they did not commit.

* The Darshak will pay, and Ash Island will burn, in revenge for this
dark act.

4) From Polgara

To: Citizens of Puddleby

As I'm sure you've heard, I blew up the Nox Sorora house. I didn't mean
to.

I talked to Luna (Nox Sorora priestess) and she and Thalion and Anaeka
helped me figure out what had happened - I was really sick and had
forgotten almost everything except for vague memories. Turns out
Lacrima possessed me and made me do this terrible thing.

I apologize to all of citizens of Puddleby for the stress I have caused
you so long after disappearing into the deep recesses of the library.
With the help of the Nox Sorora, I have made certain that this sort of
thing will not happen again. I am sorry for being used to cause
destruction and havoc in my beloved town. Please forgive me.

Solinde ila nak,
Polgara

#####
A FOND MEMORY
BY K'PYN

      They had traveled many uncountable days deep in the bowels of the
boat. Some had sickened and perished. Others had gone mad. For most,
the steady rock and swell of the ocean outside lulled them into a sense
of helpless timelessness. They ate food tossed in from a trap door far
above. Scraps really, hardly worth fighting the rats over but at least
it kept them alive. Everyone knew they would never see their homes
again. They were all bound for exile.

      He waded ashore as told and dutifully signed in at the gates of
town. Town! Hah, this place was certainly an exaggerated use of that
word. It was more a collection of ramshackle shanties amongst a mess of
puddles. He could see a random building here, a random shack there and
winding through it all trails, alleys and exiles.

      Exiles of every race ranged before him. The burly Ghorak Zo were
as intimidating as he remembered from his youth. The sly and dashing
Sylvan captured the eyes and hearts of many. Humans seemed few but
friendly. Compactly powerful drunken Dwarves ran through alleys yelling
for mead. The small, agile and seemingly insatiable people called
themselves Haflings. The smooth pelt of the Fen, who called themselves
"The People", made them sleek and graceful to the eye. Some had their
race concealed from everyone. To his joy, he also saw plenty of healthy
Thooms whose throat sacs added a deeply warm and comforting booming to
the town.

     The Thoom was here at last. His name was K'Pyn, who would be
Ktlor'ok Pyn (had misfortune not kept him from the naming). A name he
chose during his wandering that meant "wielder of sword, known of self"
in his native tongue. He'd traveled all this way arrogantly intent on
building an army to oppose the Ascendancy and avenge the disappearance
of his family only to discover that all he'd learned in his years of
training was useless. By some magic of this forsaken island chain his
strength was now little more than that of a rat. He began working to
regain his strength only to discover that something else happened on
this island. Once each zodiac a wave of chaos swept the lands and in
its wake things were always different.

      Undaunted by each setback, he continued the long task of
rebuilding his strength and while doing so, met and befriended many
exiles. Some were clearly evil and probably belonged in this retched
place, but others had huge hearts and kind spirits. Among those he
found exiles that truly touched him and remained fast and true friends.
This is a tale of one of those.

      I suppose the day was like any other. The sun shone wanly through
an overcast sky. The grunts and groans and clash of weapons of both
Exile and Orga crashed in on my senses. The lush fragrance of the
verdant Tangled wood's vegetation was pierced by the sickly smell of
battle, blood and sweat. As usual, I was testing my strength against
this threat to our fair town Puddleby. I'd had many difficult
fulfilling battles here and was used to sweeping in alone and making
short order of the hairy beasts and their guards.

      This day's triumph was shattered by a sight I'd never before
known. I could barely contain myself and my eyes had minds of their
own. I was stunned to see how easily she stood toe to toe with the
fiercest warriors of the Orga tribe. Her gown gently draped her fit
figure well. Yet it was considerably out of place in these dense woods,
let alone in battle against these beasts. More astonishing was the
realization that not only was she stunningly beautiful, agile and
powerful, but she was also a healer.

      Later in town I saw her again. I watched from a distance worried
that a human might find me somewhat unnerving or possibly even
revolting. Time went by and my interest in her grew stronger. I learned
her name was Mystic Healer and she constantly held her many suitors at
bay. I sometimes listened while she rattled on about the marvelous
adventures she'd had in the lands. She spoke of contests to find the
lady, daring rescues in the most horribly dangerous places I had ever
been and glorious conquests of magnificent beasts. I envied all who
held her attention. I needn't have had so much fear it turned out.

      For it was an evening just after a chaos storm and I was yet
feeling a bit weak when I got my first chance to meet her. As was my
usual design, I was listening in on the sunstone and happened to hear a
cry for help. Apparently she had gotten herself into a dangerous
situation in the Orga's camp. I knew that I might not be strong enough
to help her, but I ran as quickly as I was able into the woods. As I
turned the corner into the camp, I caught sight of her surrounded by
huge fearsome Orga Furies. I could see that they were pounding her
senseless and I feared I could do little to help her but I had to do
something.

      I charged up behind what looked like the weakest in the bunch and
began desperately trying to get its attention. The stench of Orga
filled my sensitive nostrils and I had an idea. I quickly killed a
nearby vermine and waggled it in the face of the Fury. That seemed to
get its attention just long enough that I could lure it away a little.
Slowly and with care, I led the Orga away a bit at a time until, at
last, Mystic Healer was able to break free and run. We both ran into
the nearby woods to rest and heal. Under the moon of the clear sky, I
could see the blush of her cheeks from the battle. I could hear her
ragged breath and could smell the wondrous scent of flowers she wore.
And somehow I could sense more.

      I could suddenly sense in her eyes that she was smiling that
certain way humans do. My blush must have lit up the woods, because she
gently said to me: "It is OK. K'Pyn. My name is Mystic Healer. I've
seen you in the lands for a while and have admired you from afar. I was
worried you might find me unsettling." To which I recounted my own
fears and needless to say we both fell to the ground laughing aloud and
slid warmly into each other's arms. Her first kiss was the sweetest I'd
ever imagined, her first caress lit my senses like the winds and
lightning of a raging storm and the rest is best kept in my heart.

      Over the months, our deep respect and abiding companionship grew
until we knew we should marry and raise our own lovely thooman babies.
Our greatest problem lay in our difference in races. We worried about
what a mess that might be in the eyes of our fair town and in the eyes
of Gaia. Seemingly nonplussed by such things, Mystic asked Gaia
herself! And the lady goddess granted her blessing to our union. Never
had there been a happier Thoom and we became engaged.

      Now each time I sensed a change in the ether and the chaos storm
ravaged the lands, I knew that even if the grass turned violent orange,
I could count on her love and presence. I weathered the storms knowing
she would be there and together she, along with Jo Mamma, Slasher,
Urgelt and myself created the Zodiac Tribe born from a vision given to
Mystic Healer. Hers was a vision of purity of thought and action. "No
greater glory is an exile's life but that he gives his own for
another." A vision I share still to this day. Together the Tribe had
many glorious hunts and held events to help bring exiles together to
enjoy the lands. Blithely I trained, never imagining what it would be
like to be without my lady by my side.

      Then one day I left off studying in the library … and she was
gone.

      The old Thoom put down the pen and let out a long sad sigh. His
weathered calloused hand shook lightly in the candlelight. His
unfocused gaze wandered across the bare desk, beyond the weapons
proudly displayed and out onto the moonlit landscape. The tears on his
cheeks slid in glistening lines spattering onto his tunic. More than
ten years had come and gone since he had last seen Mystic Healer and he
knew deep in his heart it was his own fault. Late one evening in a
moment of weakness, he had revealed the dark side of his soul to her.
He told her he had been a primary force on the horrendous sneak
offensive against the unassailable keep known as Asmorandi. That
assault had left the city waking to forty town guards hanging from the
parapets, each tagged with a note to the Ascendancy. Each one bore a
message to the Emperor: "A life for a life". He was something she
despised and could no longer bear to be around. He was certain of it.
But now he knew what must be done.

      Now it is time to at last say goodbye to her. He will take her
love with him unto the gates of heaven and there lay it down before her
in worship. Never underestimate the power of Love. May Gaia guide you
on your path wherever that may be, dearest Mystic Healer.

Yours truly,
K'Pyn, who would be Ktlor'ok Pyn.

#####
DUN'ILSAR REPORT
BY JEANNE

The baking contest between Light & Shadow and Red Quill has been
completed and Light & Shadow clan emerged victorious. Using the scoring
system for the quantity of baked items made, Light & Shadow earned 179
points vs. Red Quill's 96 points. The descriptions of the baked goods
that both clans were excellent and both got the full amount of points.
The baker for Light & Shadow was Great Pumpkin and Lathena for Red
Quill.

Special thanks to Rincewind, Sir Goric, and Typ who came to act as our
judges on such short notice.

Thanks also to the Red Quill for participating in such a fun and
enjoyable Dun'ilsar challenge. They brought honor to their clan with
their sportsmanship and were worthy opponents.

I look forward to future baking contests because it was quite a great
deal of fun. The concept has a great deal of flexibility and it can be
performed in many different ways.

The Light & Shadow clan members that were present were Jeanne, Mad
Mark, Angela, Mario OneEye, Nyika, Crafty, Great Pumpkin, Garpy, Zed,
and Zakansis.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

THE DWARVEN MILITIA

http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/

Visit the Dwarven Militia's scroll for

* The History of Dwarves
* The Dwarven Militia Baking Contest
* The Puddleby Pushball League
* The Dwarven Volympics
* The Dwarven Militia Brewing Contest
and much more, including visionstones and a library of information

#####
RECENT COURT RECORDS

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_320_22_33 on 50 Autumn, 543 at 22:34..."
Clerus says, "Trowa accused Algernon of being stuck in voting booth
vote inoocent..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 460c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_324_14_11 on 54 Autumn, 543 at 14:13..."
Clerus says, "Slyph accused Sephiroth of using undine exiles to kill
more exiles...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 460c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_335_13_18 on 65 Autumn, 543 at 13:52..."
Clerus says, "J'dy accused Algernon of being in the Inn too long..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_014_17_59 on 14 Winter, 544 at 18:44..."
Clerus says, "Rel'lim accused Kiyeko of Stealing his Oak Basher and not
returning it...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 48 minutes in jail, 614c fine and
0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0544_029_21_11 on 29 Winter, 544 at 22:06..."
Clerus says, "Zen accused Odesseus of Practicing Slyphonics without a
license...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 200 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 17 days banished."

#####
HOROSCOPES FOR EXILES
BY MAGPIE

Eghorus the Rooster
Those born under this constellation are in grave danger this zodiac
when you aquire some orgaberries and are tempted to use them for a
really atrocious dye. Also, your feelings of paranoia will soon be
confirmed. Everyone IS talking about you behind your back.

Ina D'Xus the Warrior
This zodiac a recent poll of Puddleby inhabitants will reveal you to be
the exile most likely to drink all of their beer. Also, someone holds
intense feelings for you. I would not call it stalking, but watch your
back around Thooms for the next zodiac or two.

#####
PUDDLEBY BALLOT BOX

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 73, 543, with 1458 eligible
voters:
#232: Do you support the FERT religion?
24 (65%): I don't know what FERT is.
2 (5%): I dislike FERT.
3 (8%): I am neutral towards FERT.
3 (8%): I strongly support FERT.
4 (11%): None of the above
1 (3%): Abstain

#233: We should have storage lockers for Clans so that we can all store
clan items in there and they can be shared.
15 (47%): Yes, what a great idea and very useful too.
4 (13%): No, love carrying round half the clans weaponry all the time.
9 (28%): Yes, a good idea but we'd need to have security so we know
who'd taken things out of stores and put 'em in.
3 (9%): None of the above
1 (3%): Abstain

#234: Which clan has the lamest battle cries?
13 (35%): Winds of Dawn
1 (3%): Dwarven Militia
2 (5%): Rising Claw
8 (22%): Purple Tor
9 (24%): None of the above
4 (11%): Abstain

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Bones' Togron Nut Stew Recipe
"Why I Love Thooms" by Prue
Fishwrap Fishing Derby
Angry Thoom Barbeque
ThoomCare Healing Contest
Clan Strife: Tensions Rise Between and Within Clans

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking
II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

The river to the ocean goes,
a fortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
of ginger, lemon, indigo,
coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
the privileged and weary eyes
of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way.

"Find the River"
- REM, "Automatic for the People"

It's time. Time once again to get your articles, ads, and other
submissions sent to the editor of Fishwrap for inclusion in the
next issue.

I'm especially interested in accounts of the recent fire in town.
How did it get started? What happened?

Paramedic the Thoom
Friendly Neighborhood Thoom Healer
Editor, Fishwrap

Fishmonger, ThoomCare's list of frequently updated scrolls, has
been updated.

Visit today to check out new links to scrolls by Forey, Callia, and
Shepherd. Links to Lundar's Library and CreaCrets have been
fixed to reflect their new addresses.

Fishmonger:
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

Paramedic the Thoom
CEO, ThoomCare
Editor, Fishwrap

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: Who's your daddy?

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Malkor, 2 votes, 5.88%
- Papa Thoom, 5 votes, 14.71%
- _I'm_ your daddy, 8 votes, 23.53%
- Vagile, 3 votes, 8.82%
- Umbrion, 2 votes, 5.88%
- That talking Noid who always gets in my way, 5 votes, 14.71%
- I'm an orphan, 9 votes, 26.47%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue."

Issue #44: "Ethereal Doughnut"
[September 23, 2001]
Circulation: 175

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

WormTounge interview
Fishwrap Top 10
Koric interview
Dead drake
Mystics argue
Fat Alice
Horoscopes
Reader Mail
Sum's Ball of Mud
Clan Profile: Light and Shadow
T'rool interview

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
http://www.edarian-alliance.de/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Kryll and Eva have left the lands
* Cassandra and Malkor are married. Malkor says: "Gifts are welcome."
* Nohurt is now a member of ThoomCare
http://nohurt.thoomworld.com/
* ThoomCare member Nohurt is now a second circle healer
* Halfling-hungry Gerag the Drake threatens to burn down Puddleby
* Drake update: Gerag is dead
* The DM sponsored Volympics are coming soon:
http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/volympics/
* Polerand is now a fourth circle fighter
* New visionstone site, by Sanford Oblong:
http://www.geocities.com/hummelsean/sanford_oblong.html

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm makes fourth circle
* Gerag the drake killed by exiles
* Alice's strange little garden
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
(note new address)
http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Tenebrion seeks a group of adventurers to get a fresh scaramis egg
* Pictures of Gerag
* Noivad got an Ethereal Stone from Tenebrion
* Sword of Souls
* Robin Greyhawk gets inside the Orga Camp power room
* Storoenna now more competent
* Qual escapes prison
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Chain discussion
* Malkor and Zorton conflict
* Rising Claw is now Dun'ilsar
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Callia
* Tenebrion and his brothers working on a device to measure Ether
* Callia and Paramedic "help" in the Valley
* Pogue Mahone may be engaged in a private deal with Tenebrion
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at
http://members.aol.com/snapstar

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

* Portals to the Ethereal Plane are now showing up in Purgatory which
shows that not everything Tenebrion says is based on some drug-induced
insanity. Some theorize that this means that the Ethereal Plane and
Purgatory will become one with the assumed loss of our ability to
depart. This would certainly be a shocking loss to Puddleby as many
explorations are based around the premise that exiles will simply
depart if they get overwhelmed. Unfortunately, it seems that only
fourth-circle fighters/healers and above have any hope of participating
in this event so don't be shocked to find out that you're relegated to
the sidelines.

*  Speaking of Tenebrion, another 'brion brother showed up by the name
of Lugubrion. He reportedly has a blue color scheme. I'm sure he'll be
as insane as the other brothers, but as long as he doesn't want to kill
every exile, I really don't care about his mental problems.

* There is another no-fee library under the pond in the Monastery for
those that can enter. We can't use the well to go under the Monastery
but we can go out of our way to use yet another library. Here's hoping
for those darn rungs to dry off soon.

* The Outpost is still not open. The Sylvans have been picking
wallpaper for so long that it's not even worth making jokes about it.

* A person came to town recently showing off a potion. He said he would
give it to the exile that got the most points in a variety of contests.
At the end, the potion turned out to be a Potion of Energy with
undiscernable effects. Some say that it allows you to run faster but
others say it has no effect on running. More testing needs to be done
to determine who exactly can use this potion. Personally, I think that
it would have an effect on either healer or mystic spirit regeneration
or perhaps the power of mystic boosts. Rigorous testing is definitely
needed.

* The Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery now is an official affiliation, granted
by the grandmaster of the Kiramu Monastery. If you're interested in
learning more, go to:

http://home.earthlink.net/~clmonks/

* Gerag was killed before I had a chance to speak with him for the
Fishwrap. Although I offered him several chances at an exclusive
interview if I could speak to him in a private locale, I was turned
down at every opportunity. Maybe this is because Gerag only concerned
himself with halflings or maybe because of the dozen or so exiles that
were poking him with swords and axes. Nonetheless, it seems that the
only things we will learn of him are his emphasis on the "s" sound and
his desire to eat halflings.

* Johnny Treeseed must have walked into town under cover of night
because some of the trees he planted changed shape and locale and there
seems to be additional trees planted. These trees now have shadows and
add a lot to the ambience that is Puddleby.

* Fat Alice from Kizmia's Island came to town one day demanding the use
of one of our cauldrons. We took her to Husus (near the temple to Gaia)
but she said that it was already being used by someone else. We then
went to the hut by the Lilly Pond but she said that both the cauldron
and the hut were too old and falling apart. Not to mention the constant
grasshopper sound and the smell. So we all trekked to the southwest
farms to the huts there which met to Fat Alice's slight approval. I say
slight because she wanted the holes in the roof to be repaired, the rat
holes covered up, a fireplace, more comfortable beds, carpets, etc. Fat
Alice gave us one month to get the house fixed up and promised a salve
in return. Malkor (who was leading the group) seemed to know exactly
where to go to get help and came with Meyson Carpenter who agreed to
collect building materials to fix the hut up. The exiles present
decided to do a good job and collect 300 building materials. Last I
checked, Meyson was close to finishing so be sure to bring to him any
logs or rocks that you find. I'd hate to fail when we are so close to
finishing.

[Editor's note: Alice was apparently unhappy with the cabin.
See Norm's Diary for the latest on this breaking story.

http://homepage.mac.com/NormsDiary/

- Para]

* The Dwarven Volympics was supposed to start on September 15th but has
been delayed to Saturday, September 29, 2001 through Sunday, October 7,
2001. Head on over to

http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/volympics/

for the latest information on events and how to participate.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she
has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:

http://www.puddleby.dk/jeanne

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Fishwrap is back.

I have made available some new pictures in the Fishwrap photo album.
You can view pictures of April Fools' Day and of a recent lava fissure
north of the orchard.

Take care of yourselves out there.

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH WORMTOUNGE
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic asks, "WormTounge, would you like to be interviewed for
Fishwrap magazine?"
WormTounge asks, "Be interviewed by the Fishwrap..?"
Paramedic says, "yes"
WormTounge asks, "Sure! You want to go some place with less noise?"
Paramedic says, "Sounds good."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for agreeing to an interview!"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
WormTounge says, "No problem"
WormTounge exclaims, "Thank you for the offer!"
Paramedic says, "Let's start with one question on the minds of many
exiles."
WormTounge asks, "What's that?"

Worms and tongues

Paramedic asks, "1) Can you explain your name?"
WormTounge says, "Oh.."
Glorak sways back and forth.
WormTounge says, "It's sorta like my father's name, Wimtang"
WormTounge says, "It's a family tradition to follow on with similar
names"
Paramedic says, "Hrm"
Paramedic asks, "so it doesn't literally mean Worm Tongue?"
(WormTounge shrugs)
WormTounge says, "It's sometimes useful to take it literally"
Paramedic asks, "Do you like worms or tongues?"
Paramedic asks, "or even have a position on either?"
Glorak covers one eye and attempts to focus on the wall.
WormTounge says, "Worms I don't mind, tongues are always useful to keep
around"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I don't think I could be much use without my
tongue!"
Paramedic says, "Tongues are important."

The Life of a Merchant

Paramedic says, "2) Can you tell us about your business? You seem to
sell and trade..."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge says, "I started off trading in small stuff, brewing and
baking items mostly"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "But I've since expanded into selling items for
people, usually for free"
Paramedic asks, "Do you make any money at it?"
WormTounge says, "It's fun, and I can make a few coins as well"
WormTounge says, "Not much, but yeah"
WormTounge says, "I guess I could make more going out hunting, but I'd
prefer to rescue people and talk to others in town"
WormTounge says, "So this just fills in time between that"
Paramedic asks, "so you see it as a public service as much as a profit-
making affair?"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yeah, exactly!"
Paramedic asks, "Do you meet many exiles in the process of conducting
your trades?"
WormTounge says, "Absoultely"
WormTounge says, "Too many some days.. it can get very confusing"
Paramedic says, "I've noticed exiles line up to deal with you."
(WormTounge grins.)
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is
wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
Paramedic asks, "What are the most sought-after items in Puddleby?"
WormTounge ponders, "And this is still the second question.. sheesh"
WormTounge says, "Orga and Lila berries I guess"
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "I don't often get to sell those though"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
Glorak hiccups.
Paramedic asks, "What do people NOT want to buy?"
WormTounge says, "Togron nuts! I'm always getting offers to take togron
nuts off people's hands, but not many buyers"
WormTounge says, "They've become the new brambleberries"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad"
WormTounge says, "It's okay, I still sell the potions once or twice a
week"
Paramedic asks, "What's the rarest item you have sold?"
WormTounge says, "A museum token. I've auctioned two of them for
Muzea."
Paramedic says, "Ahhh"
WormTounge says, "Oh, maybe this signpost I've got.."
Paramedic says, "I had one of those once"
Paramedic says, "I wish we could get more signposts"
WormTounge asks, "Did you use it?"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I did. The picture is on my scroll"
WormTounge asks, "Oh, advertising ThoomCare, wasn't it?"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Paramedic says, "Ok let's move to question 3"

The Red Quill

Paramedic says, "3) Tell us about your clan and your role within in"
WormTounge says, "I'm in the Red Quill"
WormTounge ponders, "Bet he'll run out of questions now"
Paramedic ponders, "don't count on it"
WormTounge says, "We're a group of scholars who work together to expand
Puddleby's knowledge of our lands"
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is
wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Personally, I'm just a pleb... I'm kinda new to the
clan as well"
WormTounge says, "It's lots of fun though, we get into trouble quite
often"
Paramedic says, "RQ has been around a long time"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yes, a very long time!"
WormTounge says, "It was started before the Ripture war.. not sure when
exactly"
Paramedic asks, "So you see it as a clan with a bright future?"
WormTounge says, "Definitely! We're always moving forward and doing new
things"
Kalthax thinks, "Mobile ThoomCare™ Unit now roaming SF. Toggle if you
need help."
Paramedic asks, "Some worry that the Nox Sorora is tied to your clan.
Any thoughts on that?"

[Editor's note:

http://www.noxsorora.com/

- Para]

WormTounge says, "It's been a problem in the past for some of our
members"
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
WormTounge says, "One I know left because of conflicts with the Nox"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about the Nox?"
WormTounge says, "Recently, Naamah (I think) helped Aeaea go on a trip
some place"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Most of us thought she had murdered Aeaea, but he's
back with us now"
WormTounge says, "We're still trying to work out exactly what happened
on Aeaea's trip though"
Paramedic says, "So am I."
Paramedic says, "The story seems puzzling"
WormTounge says, "Michael Aridfox was one of the Nox, a Gen Dea,
before. Because of what happened, he left the Nox Sorora"
Paramedic asks, "Because of the Aeaea incident?"
WormTounge says, "He's on a quest now to find his faith again, whatever
that might be in"
WormTounge says, "Yeah.. it's a big mess really"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad."
WormTounge says, "Naamah asked Michael to attack Aeaea ... to try and
help with the ritual"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic says, "What an awkward position to be in"
WormTounge says, "Michael didn't want to hurt his clan leader, so
attacked Naamah instead. Just a misunderstanding, I hope"
WormTounge says, "Aeaea says it was necessary to perform the ritual,
but Michael though Naamah was trying to force Michael to choose between
his clan and his faith"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "That's about all of that story I know for sure
though"
Paramedic asks, "Michael is still with RQ but is doing some soul-
searching?"
WormTounge says, "Yes"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "He threw away his Gen Dea pendant into Ha'and"
Paramedic says, "Wow"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider joining another clan before you joined
Red Quill?"
WormTounge says, "As for other clans ... I was considering several
before I finally joined Red Quill"
Paramedic says, "There are a number of powerful clans these days"
WormTounge says, "I talked to friends in other clans, Order of the
White Elephant and Rising Claw for example"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about clan Pogue Mahone?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.."
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Some of their members I don't like, but others I'm
good friends with"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "It can be hard to generalize about clans"
(WormTounge nods)
Paramedic says, "ok. onward to #4"

Tenebrion and His Family

Paramedic asks, "4) What do you think about Tenebrion and his
brothers?"
WormTounge says, "I don't really know all that much about them all"
Paramedic says, "They seem to multiply"
WormTounge says, "I've never been on one of those Ethereal plane hunts,
or spent much time on Kizmai's island"
Paramedic says, "Me neither."
WormTounge says, "But I'm not fond of them, and don't think any of them
should be trusted"
(Paramedic nods)

The Orga

Paramedic asks, "5) What do you think is the most important issue
facing exiles today?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.. I'm not really sure"
WormTounge says, "I guess the Orga, they're always a danger"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Getting our catapult back would be useful"
Paramedic says, "Definitely."
WormTounge says, "The Darshak are always a threat, as some of the
others say"
Paramedic asks, "Do you participate in the Full Moon Orga Raids?"
(WormTounge chuckles.)
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "When I can. I don't often get to be there for the
whole time though"
Paramedic says, "It takes a long time committment"
WormTounge says, "Haven't seen the Orga magician yet either"
Paramedic says, "Well, we're approaching the end of the interview"
WormTounge ponders, "Ooh, I get to ask a question!"
Paramedic says, "And tradition allows that you may ask the thoom one
(1) question"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE) question"
WormTounge asks, "Okay.. can I've a minute to think?"
Paramedic says, "Of course"
WormTounge ponders, "Ack! That's a question.."
WormTounge says, "oh.. okay"
Paramedic says, "I'll pretend I did not hear your first question"
(Paramedic pretends)
WormTounge asks, "How do you keep up with all the work you have to do?"
Paramedic says, "Well, sometimes I don't. That's why this Fishwrap is
so late."
Paramedic says, "Also, I caught my flipper in the printing press."
WormTounge exclaims, "Oww!"
Paramedic says, "Ow."
WormTounge asks, "It's bandaged up now though?"
(Paramedic waves a bandaged flipper)
WormTounge says, "okay"
Paramedic says, "I really appreciate the efforts of those who submit
materials for Fishwrap."
WormTounge says, "And you've got a whole clan to keep in line as well"
Paramedic says, "Ah, the clan members are a dream to work with"
WormTounge asks, "Does that take much effort?"
Paramedic says, "Very little. The members are independent and self-
motivated"
Paramedic says, "They make me proud."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I think that's the end of my questions!"
Paramedic says, "Allow me to thank you for an excellent interview,
WormTounge"
WormTounge exclaims, "My pleasure!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks!"
WormTounge exclaims, "Have a good day, and.. Thoom!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "well done"

#####
FISHWRAP TOP 10

Top 10 Things That Rhyme or Almost Rhyme with "Myrm"

10. Sun Wyrm
  9. Rel'lim
  8. germ
  7. Norm
  6. berm
  5. Zhirem
  4. Miriam
  3. slurm
  2. fern
  1. Large Tahxis Wurm

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KORIC
BY JEANNE

I was very pleased to interview Koric about training, love, and his
clan, the Rising Claw.

- Jeanne

Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "You are famed for your high Horus ability. Why did you
choose this particular path?"
Koric says, "Well."
Koric says, "First of all, I am kind of a lone wolf."
Koric says, "I do not like arriving on the scene to rescue someone and
have to call for more help."
Jeanne ponders, "I've seen that happen often."
Koric says, "But that only explains the first 200 ranks or so."
Koric says, "I also saw a need."
Koric says, "No one at the time had filled that niche. Having a lot of
Horus in one exile I knew would be useful."
Koric says, "Because the trend in our adventures is towards groups
going further and further from town."
Koric says, "Facing more and more dangerous situations."
Koric says, "As we grow in power, we face monsters that are stronger,
capable of causing more grievous harm."
Koric says, "Unfortunately, even my training hasn't kept up with the
danger level."
Koric says, "I am often insufficient against massive dredlock lightning
or the pebbles thrown at us in the foothills."
Jeanne says, "That's shocking considering you have above 800 Horus."
Koric says, "But others are also starting to specialize, like Azael,
Dandelion, Aly, Puffy-s, Trystran D'Ark and of course, Lorikeet, who is
my equal in Horus."

Horus Recommendations From An Expert

Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "What level of Horus do you recommend for those healers
that choose to specialize in other trainers?"
Koric says, "I find that good levels of non-specialty ranks are 20 and
100."
Koric says, "20 is good for things like Loovma Geer, pathfinding,
Mentus. Minor skills."
Koric says, "Also Skea."
Koric says, "100 is good for Horus."
Koric says, "Also for Proximus."
Jeanne says, "That's an interesting rule of thumb which I hadn't heard
before."
Koric says, "Anything beyond 100 is useful, of course, but I would
consider 100 a good minimum."
Jeanne asks, "I did wonder about why the later teachings of Horus were
getting more difficult. Is it the nature of the craft?"
(Koric nods.)
Koric says, "Well, as I discuss in my journal a bit, it does get more
difficult."
Koric says, "True for any specialization, I think."
Koric says, "There are some things everyone can grasp pretty easily."
Koric says, "But as you get deeper and deeper into a subject, it gets
more abstract, more out of touch with the everyday."
Koric says, "That is certainly true when trying to keep spirits and
material bodies in contact."
Jeanne says, "I am sure many exiles are thankful for the dedication
that you have. I know that I am."
(Koric smiles.)
Koric says, "I am glad to hear that."
Koric says, "It is a difficult path, but I take it gladly."

The Art of Love

Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne asks, "You have been recently engaged. Do you have any romantic
advice?"
Koric says, "Hmmmm."
Koric says, "I guess I've always found that the time you are most
likely to find love is when you are not looking for it."
Koric says, "I think females can often smell desperation in a male, and
it is often very unattractive. :)"
Koric says, "So when you aren't looking, when you are just being
yourself, not posing or acting or putting on a show..."
Koric says, "That's when people will most likely see your true self,
and if they like what they see, that's who you want."
Koric says, "My other advice is to be patient."
Koric says, "Oh, and fens are the best."
Koric says, "To those pursuing fens, I would gladly offer advice
privately. :)"

Living the Cloaked Life

Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "Why do you choose to wear a cloak and do you want more
choices for our appearance and if so, what kind?"
Koric says, "Well, I think regular human clothes make me look a lot
fatter and bulkier than I really am."
Koric says, "All this running makes me pretty wiry. The cloak fits me
much better."
Koric says, "I also find it difficult sometimes to accept the gaze of
others into my eyes."
Koric says, "There are sometimes things there that others are not meant
to see. My studies are often difficult."
Koric says, "The cloak's hood helps block out distractions. I like
that."
Koric says, "I'm pretty happy with our different modes of dress and so
forth."
Koric says, "But I would always welcome more options."

The Claw

Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "What is so great about the Rising Claw?"
Koric says, "Of course, the strength is in the wonderful members, the
individuals I love and respect."
Koric says, "I knew Kodo, Perkusi and Lorikeet best when I joined, and
we are all still close."
Koric says, "I also have a deep respect for the spirits of Trystran
D'Ark, Tyndall, Sareth. Gosh, I hate to name more because I know I will
leave someone out."
Koric says, "Anyway, I'm very proud of our competitiveness in the
Dun'ilsar. We are currently 2nd, and we're about to challenge OWE for
the top spot in a couple of zodiacs."
Koric says, "It is fun to hunt with my fellow claws, but we also have
respect for each other's independence to a degree."
Koric says, "We've had our problems within the clan, but for the most
part, members discuss things openly without bitterness or pettiness,
and we are stronger because of it."
Koric says, "Odesseus maintains a great message service for us all, and
he is the real heart of the clan."
Koric says, "Our clan has history and tradition. It has fun. It has
respect. And it is getting better all the time."
Koric says, "A lot of that is due to the care and leadership over the
years of older members like John Junkar and DeathLord."
Koric says, "But there I go listing names again, and I apologize again
for anyone I am leaving out."
Koric says, "It's a great clan, and I'm glad I'm a part of it."
Jeanne says, "It sounds like you have a lot of justifiable pride."
Koric says, "I am optimistic. Our clan has good people."
Koric exclaims, "Well, an interesting interview! Thanks for offering to
put me in Fishwrap!"
Jeanne says, "It was my pleasure."


#####
NEW BARD SCROLLS

The Bard's Guild of Puddleby is pleased to announce the new location of
its Guild scrolls:

http://clanlordbard.org

Please update your bookmarks!

- Phineas

#####
UNOFFICIAL FISHWRAP INTERVIEW WITH IHO
BY SUM THE THOOM

Sum exclaims, "Iho!"
(Sum smiles.)
Iho says, "Hiya Sum"
Sum asks, "Do you have a moment?"
Iho says, "sure"
(Sum smiles.)
(Sum plops down messily into the puddle. He thooms happily.)
Sum says, "Please join me in yon puddle."
Sum says, "I wish to interview you unoficially for Fishwrap Magazine.
It will take but a moment."
Iho says, "Alright"
Sum says, "I have a number of questions, which you may answer or choose
not to."
Iho says, "ok"
Sum asks, "Are you ready?"
Iho says, "yep"
Iho is a Halfling, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
Puddlebean Ornithological Soc..
He is holding a moonstone.
(He is a Darkhorse eye, a Cartographer and the Navy Doc.)
Sum asks, "Question 1: Thooms wear no pants. How do you feel about
this?"
Iho says, "I think every races should do the same. Pants are hot in
summer."
Sum says, "You are correct! *BING*"
Sum asks, "Question 2: I used to own a ball of mud. I no longer own it.
How do you feel about that?"
Iho says, "mmm... I don't care :)"
Sum says, "That makes me kind of sad, you know."
Iho asks, "Why would you like a ball of mud?"
Sum whispers, "Just go with it."
Sum says, "Question 3: As a fellow fighter, which would you say is more
important:"
Sum asks, "Hitting very often and quickly, or only a few times, put
with precision and power?"
Iho says, "Well... I'm a healer but... I prefer precision and power."
(Sum nods and makes a note.)
Iho says, "I like a lot of balance too."
Sum asks, "So, sort of both?"
Iho says, "Well... like, Ziff and Urgelt rather than like Gurgi."
Sum says, "Ahh."
Iho exclaims, "Sorry, Gurgi!"
(Sum grins.)
Sum asks, "Question 4: What three words most succinctly describe The
Puddlebean Ornithological Society?"
Iho says, "To me... Birds, Friends, Fun."
(Sum smiles and jots that down.)
Sum asks, "Question 5: Why is your hair green?"
Iho says, "Because green is the color of Gaia and I worship her."
(Sum smiles.)
Sum exclaims, "Thank you for your time! You have been most helpful!"
Iho says, "My pleasure"
Sum exclaims, "Keep your eyes peeled for the next issue of Fishwrap
Magazine, where this interview will appear!"
Iho exclaims, "Glad to contribute!"
(Sum smiles warmly.)

#####
THOOMCARE MEMBER OTEPEI JOINS THE RANKS OF 4TH CIRCLE HEALERS

After many months of study with Master Higgrus, I was able to raise
Glory and pass the 4th circle healer test. While Bruno claimed that
most who passed are stronger than me, I still managed it. I would like
to thank all who provided me with great training advice to meet this
challenge and all those that sunstoned me after the test with
congratulations and sent good karma.

Now I am on the long road of training with Virgil to gain my Pendant.
Donations accepted for my pendant fund.  =)

Thoom!

Yours,

-Otepei

#####
CLAN PROFILE: LIGHT & SHADOW
BY CLAN LIGHT & SHADOW

ORIGIN
Light & Shadow has been a clan since before the Ripture War. Our
founding fathers included Chucky, Lokiz, Jeanne, and 2 others whose
names have been lost to history.

Our leaders searched long and hard for an identity for the fledgling
clan. Their way became clear when a dream reminded Jeanne of the
ancient telling:

"Back before the dawn of time, the Moon's eldest children reached into
the Land of Shadow and stole a part of the glowing moon. They fled to
our own realm and brought light and joy with them. Now the Moon yearned
after the missing Light and the smiles of her children, and so she
caused new children to walk the lands. But the results of this were
creatures that mimicked the noble creatures of the Sun and the Earth in
horrible ways. The Moon, who was now half Dark and half Light, took
back her children because she finally understood that they couldn't
continue walking the World. She blessed the saddest of them by turning
them into stars to keep her company in the night sky. Twelve children
alone remained to her and these she shielded from the Sun and the Earth
so that they might live in harmony."

From this came our name and motto ("The face of the moon sees the
injustice of the world, and the glowing sun will shine the light of
truth and hope.")

You might think that this is a strange part of history to base a clan
on but this tale has lessons for all to learn. The first lesson is that
people can do strange things when they are lonely. As independent as we
think we are, we need other people. Another lesson is that desiring
something and having it are often entirely different because there may
be undesirable consequences. We can also learn from the Moon's
understanding that selfishness and jealousy lead only to trouble and
destruction to others. Becoming a better and wiser person is something
we should all aspire to and part of that is learning from our mistakes.

ORGANIZATION
There are many clans in Puddleby and all exist for different reasons;
some are organized around a particular cause, others are a bunch of
friends who like to spend time together, and some are highly structured
organizations. The Light & Shadow clan (L&S), however, is very much
like an extended family. It just goes to show that you can choose your
family as well as your friends, despite what the popular saying might
lead you to believe. ^_^ While we don't have a chain of command, our
two leaders are Mad Mark and Angela.

One of the benefits of being a family is that all of the members are
allowed to choose their own path with support from others. If you fall
down, you will be picked up, brushed off and set back on your journey.
If you make a mistake, you'll be given a chance to make amends. If you
need help, a hand will be extended.

While every L&S member is different, we do have similarities. We like
helping others in any way that we can.  We enjoy exploring new places.
We all strive to get better and bring honor to our professions.

JOINING
If you want to see us in action, feel free to come to our weekly
meetings on Sundays which start at 2 p.m. Pacific. Typically, the first
thirty-minutes are devoted to business so if you want to hunt with us,
let us know and we'll sunstone you when we're ready to head out. You
can also ask any of us questions if you see us about the lands.

If you'd like more information about the Light & Shadow clan, head over
to our web scrolls at:

http://www.lightandshadow.org

#####
ROVING REPORTER
BY HELLPOP

Greetings fellow exiles. Hellpop here, roving reporter for Fishwrap
magazine. What with all the hubbub and ballyhoo over Tenebrion and his
communications with us, I felt it would be interesting to have a chat
with other talkative folks around the island. Relations with many of
denizens of our island are often quite rocky, and it will be worthwhile
to see what they have to say. So here goes ...

My first interviewee dwells in the dark caves east of Puddleby and
seems to be a loner. I entered the Noids cave filled with apprehension
about killing any of the smaller spiders there, concerned that doing so
may raise suspicions about my motives as an unbiased reporter.

I carefully explored the cavern, seeking its ancient resident. Sure
enough, I found the Talking Arachniod amid the stalagmites and dark
shadows of the cavern.

Hellpop: "Greetings Arachnoid. My name is Hellpop. May I ask you a few
questions?"
(no reply)
Hellpop: "I'll take that as a yes. What are your feelings on the exiles
that come into your cave? Do you have any aspirations to--"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "Really? That sounds quite interesting! Can you tell me what a
Kthk-T'kel is?"
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your
kind."
Hellpop: "Oh I get it. The Kthk-T'kel guys are noids. That's what we
call 'em. Yeah, they are dangerous to my kind. Thanks for the warning.
Might I say that you are the coolest spider thingie that I've met on--"
Arachnoid: "The other tribes fight for the cave south of here."
Hellpop: "Right. Well, not to contradict you or anything, but all they
seem to fight is us. I've never seen them fight each other."
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "Right. Got it. Beware the big spiders that kick my ass to the
south. Now if I can just ask you a few--"
Arachnoid: "Thk'Ekl make fine weapons, if you've got the training."
Hellpop: "Okaaaay, now we're gettin' somewhere! We exiles are always
interested in fine weapons! What kind of training do we need to procure
these things? What is the weapon? Like a wicked bullwhip made out of
webs? That would be cool. Or maybe a nasty looking spider sword?! I'd
sure like one of those!"
Arachnoid: "We were once a united race, But the Change swept through
us."
Hellpop: "Right. Changed... fight for the cave... now, Can we get back
to the spider sword? Can you tell me if I have to bring you something
in exchange for this fine weapon you spoke of, or is it just lying
about somewhere?"
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "I got that already! Let's try to concentrate here, man. What
you're saying is that these changed spiders used to be cool with each
other, but now they fight, even though no one has ever seen that, and
then they make 'fine weapons' that we must train for, but there is no
training available, and no weapons?"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found deep down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "And apparently spiders smoke cave moss..."
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your
kind."
Hellpop: "This conversation is over."

Next, I headed deep into the South Forest. Past the South Forest, in
fact, to the southern Brambles and into T'rool Town! I had foraged this
spot for a while in search of ore and a few good skins, but never had I
stopped to chat with the resident T'rool - T'Goth. I found him, as
always, sitting in a place of prominence in the heart of the town.
Again, trying not to upset relations for the interview, I did not
attack any of the T'rools that were running around the town. There sure
were a lot of them though, and they all wanted to get a piece of me as
I approached T'Goth.

Hellpop: "Hello T'Goth. My name is Hellpop, and I would like to ask you
a few questions about your relationship with Puddleby and its exiles."
(no response)
Hellpop: "Would you mind calling some of these guys offa' me? It's
getting kind of crowded."
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
Hellpop: "Oohhh. So you're a priest"
(Note: At this point I thought that maybe the T'rools communicated with
their hands. So I gave T'goth the good ole' thumbs up! This had no
effect.)
Hellpop: "Well, then. Maybe you could tell me what it is you T'rools
worship? Some kind of freakish T'rool God? Or maybe a large rock
carving?"
(no response)
Hellpop: "Do you have any interest in furthering the communication
between our two towns? An exchange program of sorts, or even pen pals
maybe?"
T'Goth: "This town be ours!"
Hellpop: "Oh, yeah. I wasn't suggesting that we would want your town or
anything. To be quite honest, I don't see how you stand the smell down
here near the swamp. And ... no offense here ... but leeches give me
the willies!"
(Note: At this point many T'rools had surrounded me and they were three
deep to try and get a swing in. I do not claim to be a mystic, but I
got the definite feeling that I was not welcome there.)
T'Goth: "Get out, ya fair smellin' little nose."
Hellpop: "But I just want to ask you a few more questions."
Monster: "But I just want to ask you a few more..."
(Note: Some of the T'rools around me actually took time out of trying
to kill me and spoke to me.)
Hellpop: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Monster: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Hellpop: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking to you right now."
Monster: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking..."
Hellpop: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this when I was a kid."
Monster: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this..."
Hellpop: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Monster: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Hellpop: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to facilitate relations here!"
Monster: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to..."
Hellpop: "I mean it! Stop!"
Monster: "I mean it! Stop!"
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
  Hellpop: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle finger!? You frickin'
green fatso! I'll show you a sign!"
Monster: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle..."
(Note: Sadly, at this point all communication seemed hopeless. To be
honest, it may have been my fault. I started hacking at anything green
in the immediate vicinity.)

So to sum up, it does not seem that relations with the T'rools are
possible at this time. The Arachnoid did not seem to have any clues as
to the whereabouts of his "fine weapons" and this reporter thinks that
he is an unreliable source for any kind of useful information. Come to
think of it, its eyes looked rather dilated to me, so I would just say
no to the spiders in general.

Hellpop here! Have a nice day and happy hunting!

#####
READER MAIL
Letters, we get letters

From Nyssa:

To the Editor,

A copy of the Fishwrap #43 landed with a splat and an apalling odor on
my doorstep. It included a noxious interview with one Raldin, a so-
called Mystic. In this interview, the said Raldin implied that I wanted
to overthrow the Mystic Council and establish a council of my own. This
is a lie. The Fishwrap, by printing his slanderous statements has
committed libel. You will be hearing from my attorney.

Nyssa

*

From Sir Califas Lomas:

Hello Paramedic,

I was wandering about the Middle Pass one day after hearing there was
an exile in need thereabouts. Either I was mistaken, or they were aided
before I could arrive, I cannot remember which. This left me with
little to do in the area save wander a bit more. Upon entering the
Middle Pass Well area I was attacked by a small tribe of Wendeckas and
forced to exit East or be trapped. Once inside the Greymyr Passes I
decided I would attempt to escape by way of the South Pass and began to
journey in that direction.

At the "T" intersection of the southern route towards the South Pass
and the continuance of the passage towards the Greymyr Village I
happened on an odd looking rock. Stooping quickly to pick it up I
continued towards the South Pass and exited with little incident. After
a cursory inspection of the rock I went about my normal business and
thought little of it. I have shown this brittle grey rock to various
exiles with neglible result. Thinking perhaps one of your readers might
have come upon a similar object or have some relevant information
concerning its use, I have sent you this missive. My Thanks to you for
your consideration.

May you seek the true path,

		 Sir Califas Lomas
		 Company of the Shield
		 Guard of the Golden Tree

*

From Fletcher:

My dear readers,

There has been considerable loquacity on the newscrolls of late about
the privation our island is suffered without access to archery.
Unfortunately, the flummery of foex populi has reduced that forum to
not but a collection of vox et praeterea nihil. I have posted this
scroll there, however, it is lost among the multitude of others, most
of which are not suitable for use in the privy.

I will thus attempt to elucidate.

Currently, the state of archery in Puddleby is dreadful. Many of our
sylvan friends possess bows, but their arrows can fly no further than
arm's length.

This, my friends, is due to poor fletching.

One would think that the arrival of the finest fletcher in the capital
would soon result in the twang of bowstrings and a sky darkened with
arrows.  However, it took me quite some time to find acceptable
feathers!  The scavenger bird is a filthy, mite-infested thing, which I
will not deign to touch. Simply dreadful! I daresay the feathers are
useless even as pillow stuffing!  Eventually I was led towards the
mountains, where I found bloodhawk feathers, which are much more
acceptable. They will do, although I have a sample of a feather with
remarkable properties of strength and endurance. It was given to me by
an exile who said that it came from some exotic fowl called a "Super
Chicken."

I have since begun to produce arrows of significantly greater quality.
Such arrows do not come cheap, which is a factor to bear in mind when
considering becoming an archer. Arrows make a wonderful tactical tool
in battle, but for hunting, you're likely to spend more on my wares
than you are to gain in furs on the hunt. More powerful arrows, with
arrowheads that do more damage to the target, will of course cost you a
pretty penny.

I have provided my best arrow with the golden head, wrought from the
simplicity of Bloodhawk doves, yet though I invest the care that
knitteth souls and prospers loves, we get no range from John Arrowish's
strongest bow! This sad fact, dear townsfolk, is because we have no
bowyer. A bent fishing pole of whittled willow is a sorry substitute
for a finely crafted bow, I daresay. A skillful bowyer would bring
ranged weaponry to our fearful town. Sadly, it is not my craft.

Do not think that archery would create an invincible town of exiles. I
warn you that the benefits will not be so advantageous.  No beast could
be trapped and felled, for beasts run towards their prey, and any
object that would trap the beast would block an arrow as well! It is
true that an exile may parry a beast's blows while his allies fell it
with arrows, but this is no different than striking from behind and
dashing away. Furthermore, if a beast is trapped by a nearby exile
against a tree, so that distant exiles may fell it, they will surely
learn not to be distracted by such a simple trick and to instead move
about in a manner that will prevent it. One must also bear in mind the
extreme difficulty in aiming a long, arching shot towards a beast that
is cavorting about will result in few exiles mastering this art. I
envision instead arrows protruding from the backs of the very warriors
the archers are trying to support!

Despite these varied and significant impediments to archery's
effectiveness, I nonetheless encourage the town to seek out a bowyer.
After all, I am accustomed to the lifestyle of a merchant, and I am not
at all pleased with having to stoop to hunting to maintain my exquisite
finery!

Thus far the Gods have not blessed us with a bowyer. Perhaps they think
it will upset the delicate balance of nature. I assure you that is not
the case! I've got an arrow here, loving the hand that fletched it, I
the dart revere. Fell, beasts will be, in skirmish! Vanquished, my
ranks will show. By but a simple arrow?  Sped by an archers bow?

At your service,

Fletcher

#####
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#####
THIS ZODIAC'S HOROSCOPE
BY MAGPIE

Enba the Rat
Those born under this constellation can expect a rough zodiac. Things
will go from bad to worse when you plans of becoming rich are thwarted
by an unexpected spriggin somewhere in the Tanglewood.

Elixus the Cat
Gaia will finally answer your prayers this zodiac, sadly the answer
will be "maybe." Plans for a party you are planing will be ruined when
you trust a Zo for the decorations. Feral-head hats and vermine
streamers... ugh!

Shaer the Healer
This constellation bodes well for you this zodiac - if you like
brambleberries. If you don't then you're in trouble 'cause you're gonna
find a lot of them. Also a Sylvan will make an offer you can't
refuse... Refuse it.

Oobiscus the Foxweir
The stars are very pleased with the way you have been acting lately.
Although they're not so sure about your choice of clothing. Also, next
full moon you will be surprised by a sunstone message from Tenebrion
asking you to trade a tangleberry pie in exchange for an Ethereal
Doughnut.

#####
COURT RECORDS
Justice in Puddleby

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_306_01_52 on 36 Autumn, 542 at 3:07..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of suing Friv trials that caused FH
deaths..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 366 minutes in jail, 4297c fine
and 0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_03_44 on 20 Winter, 543 at 4:33..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Panthro of trying to kill Algernon..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 22 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_05_08 on 20 Winter, 543 at 6:17..."
Clerus says, "Trowa accused Madcat of ruining the zoo and hard work..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 62 minutes in jail, 256c fine and
2 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_023_13_46 on 23 Winter, 543 at 14:58..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Wrath of killing the new town zoo..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 79 minutes in jail, 228c fine and
4 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_025_13_17 on 25 Winter, 543 at 14:14..."
Clerus says, "Mephisto accused Pe Ell of trying to scam exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 37 minutes in jail, 282c fine and
0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_037_09_17 on 37 Winter, 543 at 10:24..."
Clerus says, "Sabbit accused Lilit of chaining Agrath into the dark
cave..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 87 minutes in jail, 44c fine and
5 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_13_15 on 51 Winter, 543 at 13:57..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Sasha of a dumb name..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_19_05 on 51 Winter, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "MegaDuckie accused Tyranis Calgar of
FlameingPeuginSquad..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 191 minutes in jail, 423c fine
and 16 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_053_08_24 on 53 Winter, 543 at 9:34..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Malkor of Blackmail..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_08_50 on 61 Winter, 543 at 9:56..."
Clerus says, "Micheal accused Cody of Kidnapping Algy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 169c fine and
0 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_16_36 on 61 Winter, 543 at 17:50..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Trespasser of Harrassment, and glad apun
my goat (Moe)'s death..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 166 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 13 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_069_06_35 on 69 Winter, 543 at 7:34..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Maz of taking away my powers and toturein
me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 915 minutes in jail, 9196c
fine and 98 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_070_07_25 on 70 Winter, 543 at 8:19..."
Clerus says, "Eva Loriel accused Rand of killing with other exiles, my
cute pet Rocky...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_077_09_05 on 77 Winter, 543 at 9:49..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Deornoth of sexual harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_098_12_28 on 8 Spring, 543 at 13:10..."
Clerus says, "Lummox accused Xepel of not stopping his damn music..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_106_18_34 on 16 Spring, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Blitz of being possessed by a vile
spirit...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 59 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_108_19_54 on 18 Spring, 543 at 20:57..."
Clerus says, "Tardalus accused J'dy of Killing lovely gifts of
nature..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 84 minutes in jail, 465c fine and
4 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_110_19_34 on 20 Spring, 543 at 20:29..."
Clerus says, "Righ Badenoch accused Prue of aiding a drake in eating
fellow exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_122_06_57 on 32 Spring, 543 at 7:50..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Zaroff of making fun of a national
crisis...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1006 minutes in jail, 15073c fine
and 107 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_125_21_29 on 35 Spring, 543 at 22:23..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of Conspiracy to destroy a future
raid..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 575 minutes in jail, 6768c fine
and 60 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_135_01_55 on 45 Spring, 543 at 2:41..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Crystal of being a witch..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 259 minutes in jail, 1498c
fine and 24 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_03_50 on 52 Spring, 543 at 4:40..."
Clerus says, "Amrosar II accused Streetus Danaca of breaching the town
peace...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 110 minutes in jail, 159c fine
and 7 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_11_59 on 52 Spring, 543 at 12:58..."
Clerus says, "Caticus accused Nilor of disrupting a FMOCR and the
workings of the sun...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_03_52 on 57 Spring, 543 at 4:42..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Chicot of killing innocent Tors..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 126 minutes in jail, 648c fine
and 9 days banished."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_12_00 on 57 Spring, 543 at 13:14..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Zeus of Exposing people to lude
behavior..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; probation."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_163_19_23 on 73 Spring, 543 at 20:27..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Malkor of Taking my SS..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_168_01_05 on 78 Spring, 543 at 1:41..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Algernon of nothing (someone locked
him dead in the purple tor)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
-
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_171_03_36 on 81 Spring, 543 at 4:28..."
Clerus says, "Rel'lim accused Kiyeko of Theft and possession of my
stolen OB and mace..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 734c fine and
0 days banished."

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Angry Thoom Barbeque
More Horoscopes
Behind the Moonstone with Bones the Thoom
Super Chicken: Exile, or Fowl?

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum,
Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

When the flood calls
You have no home, you have no walls
In the thunder crash
You're a thousand minds, within a flash

"Here Comes the Flood"
- Peter Gabriel

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Which choice best describes your
connection to the Internet? (This
entirely OOC question will be helpful
in planning future Fishwrap endeavors.)

   o 33K modem or slower
   o 56K modem
   o cable modem
   o DSL
   o other broadband (faster than 56K)


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

A new Fishwrap will be coming out soon.

If you have anything to submit, please do so before Saturday,
September 1.

Thoom

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Unbiased Thoom News and Views from a Source You Can Trust"

Issue #43: "House on a Freeway"
[August 12, 2001]
Circulation: 165

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Tenebrion can't stop talking
ThoomCare founder seeks a Purgatory pendant
New library in town
Hall of Chivalry
Coriakin reports on the new potion
Parting words from Leogic
Fishwrap interviews Raldin the Mystic

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Raldin the Mystic's Sunstone Tuning Service
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tara has left the lands

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Taking turns whiffing the ghastly
* Norm brings his goat to Ma Tota
* Orgas begin to use chaining technology
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Travelling the planes
* Clouds in Purgatory
* Mirrors in the Tower
* Ethereal Stones
* Huge cave complex
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Tunnels under town have been greatly expanded again
* Journeyman Nevyn advanced to the rank of first circle mystic
* Museum space auction
* Lok'Groton Islands' Foundation for Exploration (LIFE) goes to North
Eastern Foothills
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_327_12_47 on 57 Autumn, 542 at 13:31..."
Clerus says, "Raknus accused Luc of abusing the court system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_327_13_51 on 57 Autumn, 542 at 14:46..."
Clerus says, "Romuli accused Luc of Abusing the court system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_337_20_48 on 67 Autumn, 542 at 21:38..."
Clerus says, "Panthro accused Lorikeet of leaving me for dead in South
Forest...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_342_10_19 on 72 Autumn, 542 at 11:10..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Soulmaster of destroying her
property..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 12 minutes in jail, 23c fine
and 0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 31, 542, with 1386 eligible
voters:
#201: Which of the following statements best describes your feelings
about skin dye?
6 (12%): Skin dye is too expensive.
14 (27%): Skin dye does not last long enough.
18 (35%): Skin dye is too expensive, and does not last long enough.
9 (18%): Skin dye works fine the way it is.
3 (6%): None of the above
1 (2%): Abstain
#202: What should Rising Claw re-name itself?
2 (4%): "and Friends"
13 (26%): Pogue Mahone's Little Bitches
1 (2%): Pogue Mahone's mobile Horus clinic
11 (22%): "Lorikeet, and some other people"
12 (24%): None of the above
11 (22%): Abstain
#203: Who gets in your way the most when you are trying to fight?
5 (10%): Healers
14 (27%): Other fighters
2 (4%): Healers
5 (10%): "Backpacking" healers
18 (35%): None of the above
7 (14%): Abstain
#204: Should cigars be smoked in town center?
25 (51%): Yes.
2 (4%): No.
11 (22%): Smoking hurts lungs. So, stop smoking around others.
8 (16%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#205: Who ate my shoes?
7 (14%): Sum probably did! Weirdo thoom ...
11 (22%): I like grape juice.
2 (4%): Fish.
12 (24%): Will you be my friend? I really need a friend. I mean, trees
are nice and all, but they don't talk ... um, please?
8 (16%): None of the above
9 (18%): Abstain

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

NEW LIBRARY

One of the unique aspects of Puddleby life is that there just aren't
many useful things to buy. Thousands of coins have gathered dust in the
bank with nary a purpose until the opening of a new super-advanced
library. It turns out the digging dwarves located tomes of even higher
learning and a library constructed to house them and have hired
librarians to care for them. In terms of aesthetics, this library is
more richly furnished than the current libraries with more tables and
chairs to sit at and a cozier atmosphere. Of course, all of these
amenities come about because of the exceedingly high cost of renting
the books; 875 coins a zodiac. No reports exist yet of just how much
more experience you get over the other libraries, but I'm sure that one
will surface shortly.

HALL OF CHIVALRY

Near the Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery, a new builder (D'rraldrri) collects
building materials and coins for the construction of a Hall of
Chivalry. What could possibly be contained within once it is finished
is anyone's guess.

What I'd like to see is a place where the ideals of chivalry, such as
courage, honor, loyalty, and consideration for others, are discussed. A
place where such behavior is encouraged in others and the chivalrous
way is shown to all that are interested. The cynical side of me says
that it will probably just be a museum with statues of knights and
nothing else, but I can dream for something bigger and better.

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

You'd better go get a snack. This is a long Fishwrap.

In other news, it has become apparent that a Purgatory pendant would
help me considerably, for both rescuing and reporting. Unfortunately,
my limited income does not allow me to afford such an expensive item.
Are there any clans or individuals willing to contribute to a fund for
a Purgatory pendant for me? Your contributions will of course be
recognized with either sponsorships or advertising space in the
Fishwrap, if you so desire.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
CALLIA THE MYSTIC SPEAKS SPEAKS TO TENEBRION

Trouble in the Ethereal Plane

8/3/01 3:46:45a Callia says, "hello"
8/3/01 3:47:34a Callia says, "I fear there are few healers strong
enough and well enough trained"
8/3/01 3:47:41a Tenebrion says, "Ether is flowing out of the Ethereal
Plane at a rate I have never seen before."
8/3/01 3:47:51a (Callia looks uncomfortable)
8/3/01 3:48:08a Callia thinks, "are there any healers with pendants in
the lands?"
8/3/01 3:48:14a Tenebrion says, "If I am correct and it is following
the
paths to Purgatory, your town could be in considerable trouble."
8/3/01 3:48:34a Callia asks, "what should a healer who checks look for?
clouds of Ether?"
8/3/01 3:48:57a Tenebrion says, "I would hope it is not that strong
there.
There might be other signs."
8/3/01 3:49:19a Callia asks, "any speculation regarding what those
signs might be?"
8/3/01 3:49:27a Tenebrion says, "For a cloud to form requires a truly
massive amount of ether."
8/3/01 3:49:47a Callia says, "they have been sighted in Puddleby on ...
one or two occasions"
8/3/01 3:50:12a Tenebrion says, "Things may appear out of phase."
8/3/01 3:50:19a Tenebrion says, "A heat shimmer perhaps."
8/3/01 3:50:23a You think to Babajaga, "can you find a 4th circle
healer to check Purgatory?"
8/3/01 3:50:28a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 3:50:33a Tenebrion says, "Something like the appearance of the
clouds but fainter."
8/3/01 3:50:39a Tenebrion says, "It could take many forms."
8/3/01 3:50:41a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:51:04a Babajaga thinks to you, "Baffette is now"
8/3/01 3:51:08a Callia asks, "is the conduit .. permanent?"
8/3/01 3:51:21a Odesseus says, "hrm"
8/3/01 3:51:28a Tenebrion says, "No sooner had I warned one of your
townsfolk earlier today of the dangers of traveling from the Ethereal
Plane to Purgatory..."
8/3/01 3:51:39a Tenebrion says, "than a group went and did exactly
that."
8/3/01 3:51:42a You think to Babajaga, "can you ask her to check
Purgatory for ... heat shimmers, or possibly weak clouds of Ether?"
8/3/01 3:51:51a (Callia sighs and nods)

Stargazing

8/3/01 3:52:00a Tenebrion asks, "Perhaps your people do not believe or
trust
me?"
8/3/01 3:52:03a Barbarossa is now Clanning.
8/3/01 3:52:13a Callia says, "if I point to a star..."
8/3/01 3:52:21a Callia says, "a constellation..."
8/3/01 3:52:23a Callia says, "and say.."
8/3/01 3:52:26a Callia says, "that is Sororian"
8/3/01 3:52:32a Babajaga thinks to you, "She says its completely empty"
8/3/01 3:52:34a Callia says, "you might believe me"
8/3/01 3:52:35a Tenebrion exclaims, "!"
8/3/01 3:52:45a Callia says, "but.. if I point to a bench.."
8/3/01 3:52:46a Tenebrion asks, "What do you know of such matters?"
8/3/01 3:52:52a Callia says, "and say the paint is wet"
8/3/01 3:52:58a Callia asks, "do you touch it?"
8/3/01 3:53:04a Callia asks, "to be sure?"
8/3/01 3:53:05a Babajaga thinks to you, "She says it looks perfectly
normal"
8/3/01 3:53:14a Callia says, "I have made a study of such matters"
8/3/01 3:53:18a Tenebrion asks, "Why would you point to that
constellation?"
8/3/01 3:53:23a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 3:53:41a Callia asks, "perhaps because it is stationary over the
Lok'Grotton islands?"
8/3/01 3:54:02a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 3:54:06a Odesseus says, "scuse, be right back"
8/3/01 3:54:10a Tenebrion says, "Yet faint and barely visible. A
constellation of no importance."
8/3/01 3:54:10a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:54:24a Callia says, "of no importance.. of course :)"
8/3/01 3:54:35a Babajaga thinks to you, "She is still in there. You may
want to contact her directly"
8/3/01 3:54:49a You think to Babajaga, "talking to Tenebrion
now..sorry.. distracted"
8/3/01 3:54:56a Callia says, "Baffette is in Purgatory now..."
8/3/01 3:55:02a Callia says, "she says it looks normal"
8/3/01 3:55:26a You think to Baffette, "Tenebrion was asking about
conditions there, he is quite concerned"
8/3/01 3:55:26a You concentrate on sending your message to Baffette.
8/3/01 3:55:47a Callia asks, "so.. you also have studied the
constellations?"
8/3/01 3:56:06a Tenebrion says, "I'm more interested in the ether at
the present."

Tenebrion Is Disturbed

8/3/01 3:56:06a Baffette thinks to you, "the other night there were
Abyssal hunters in Purgatory"
8/3/01 3:56:41a You think to Baffette, "he's more worried about Ether
at the moment, he says it's pouring out of the EP at a heretofore
unseen rate"
8/3/01 3:56:59a (Tenebrion clears his throat)
8/3/01 3:57:10a Callia says, "Baffette sees nothing.. although she saw
Abyssal hunters a few nights ago"
8/3/01 3:57:20a Baffette thinks to you, "There are little purple and
blue and
yellow splotches in there, but I think that is normal"
8/3/01 3:57:25a Callia says, "hmm..."
8/3/01 3:57:31a Tenebrion says, "That is disturbing."
8/3/01 3:57:37a Callia says, "She says she sees little splotches of
color..."
8/3/01 3:57:44a Callia says, "blue.. yellow.."
8/3/01 3:57:53a Tenebrion says, "We have been searching on many planes
and can find no disturbances."
8/3/01 3:57:54a Callia says, "She thinks it's normal for this time of
day"
8/3/01 3:58:04a Callia asks, "So.. where is the Ether going?"
8/3/01 3:58:12a (Babajaga leans into the wall)
8/3/01 3:58:15a Tenebrion says, "We cannot search them all of course."
8/3/01 3:58:35a Tenebrion says, "The most sensible conclusion is
Purgatory, but we are unable to see that for ourselves."
8/3/01 3:58:44a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 3:58:48a Callia says, "perhaps..."
8/3/01 3:59:09a Callia says, "the essential body .. and the structure
are not the same.."
8/3/01 3:59:32a Babajaga thinks to you, "Anything new?"
8/3/01 3:59:36a Callia asks, "might the structure be weakened, without
immediate observable results?"
8/3/01 3:59:59a Tenebrion says, "It would depend on your sensitivity to
such matters."
8/3/01 4:00:05a Odesseus thinks to you, "door locked"
8/3/01 4:00:06a You think to Babajaga, "not yet, he's worried about the
flow of ether from the EP, he says it's flowing at a prodigious rate"
8/3/01 4:00:12a Tenebrion says, "I could sense a weakening
immediately."
8/3/01 4:00:19a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:00:22a Tenebrion says, "An untrained mind might never sense
it."
8/3/01 4:00:25a Callia says, "I can sense some things.."
8/3/01 4:00:41a Babajaga thinks to you, "He might be wrong that it's
our
travel that causes this, or his motives might not be what he say they
are.."
8/3/01 4:00:46a Callia says, "I sensed when the Hunters approached"
8/3/01 4:00:50a Tenebrion says, "I can tell you what is happening on
one end."
8/3/01 4:00:56a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:01:03a Tenebrion says, "You should try to determine if
anything is happening on the other."

Behind Locked Doors

8/3/01 4:01:12a You think to Babajaga, "I know, can you help Ode and
Forey get here?"
8/3/01 4:01:19a (Babajaga nods)
8/3/01 4:01:22a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:24a Odesseus thinks to you, "can't get in tunnel, hut door
locked"
8/3/01 4:01:25a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:26a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:27a The door is securely locked.
8/3/01 4:01:34a You think to Odesseus, "Baba is coming to help you"
8/3/01 4:01:39a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:01:53a Callia asks, "do you know of any tools which are used
to study the planes?"
8/3/01 4:02:06a Callia says, "my guild .. has much natural ability.."
8/3/01 4:02:24a Callia says, "but.. amplifaction would be helpful"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Babajaga thinks to you, "gah. .trapped"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Tenebrion says, "There are keys of a kind to facilitate
the choice of a plane which you want to"
8/3/01 4:02:27a Odesseus thinks to you, "why locked?"
8/3/01 4:02:38a Tenebrion asks, "Is "move" the correct word?"
8/3/01 4:02:47a Callia says, "Babajaga tells me she is trapped"
8/3/01 4:02:51a Tenebrion says, "There are keys of a kind to facilitate
the choice of a plane which you want to move to."
8/3/01 4:03:06a Callia asks, "hmm.. and.. do these also offer
feedback?"
8/3/01 4:03:24a Babajaga thinks, "Need help TK courtyard"
8/3/01 4:03:35a Coriakin thinks, "omw TK"
8/3/01 4:03:39a Tenebrion says, "In the same manner a tuning fork does.
That is an adequate description."
8/3/01 4:03:57a Callia asks, "hmm.. and where does one acquire such
tools?"
8/3/01 4:04:04a (Tenebrion smiles.)
8/3/01 4:04:15a (Callia raises an eyebrow and smiles)
8/3/01 4:04:24a Tenebrion says, "Long sleepless nights spent
researching books which should no longer exist."
8/3/01 4:04:32a Tenebrion says, "Trial and error."
8/3/01 4:04:40a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:04:55a Tenebrion says, "Some clever guesses."
8/3/01 4:04:59a Tenebrion says, "Some luck."
8/3/01 4:05:13a Callia says, "a course of study you would recommend? or
not"
8/3/01 4:05:39a Tenebrion says, "I don't know how to answer that."
8/3/01 4:05:57a Tenebrion says, "It is a way of life my brothers and I
have chosen."
8/3/01 4:05:59a Callia asks, "well.. could you facilitate my study
thereof? if you wished to?"
8/3/01 4:06:29a Callia says, "I wish to serve my community.. as foolish
as some of them are.."
8/3/01 4:06:30a Tenebrion says, "To be honest, not until we were on
much better terms."
8/3/01 4:06:37a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:06:40a Callia says, "a fair answer"
8/3/01 4:07:04a Callia says, "do you speak personally? or..
specifically?"
8/3/01 4:07:08a Callia says, "or.. in general"
8/3/01 4:07:15a Tenebrion says, "More generally I believe."
8/3/01 4:07:18a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:07:23a Callia says, "so I surmised"
8/3/01 4:07:46a Tenebrion says, "I would no sooner give weapons and
armor to the beasts than some of this knowledge to a people I am not
sure I trust."
8/3/01 4:07:58a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:08:03a Tenebrion says, "I enjoy certain individuals."
8/3/01 4:08:16a (Callia smiles politely)
8/3/01 4:08:34a Callia says, "this is a penal colony"
8/3/01 4:08:40a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:08:50a Tenebrion says, "As has been pointed out."
8/3/01 4:09:01a Callia says, "some of our members are.. less evolved"
8/3/01 4:09:09a Callia says, "we do what we can"
8/3/01 4:09:14a Tenebrion says, "I have encountered some of those."
8/3/01 4:09:19a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:09:25a Callia says, "far too many I'm sure"
8/3/01 4:09:39a Tenebrion says, "My brothers call me."
8/3/01 4:09:45a Forey has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:09:48a Callia says, "hmm"

Tenebrion's Warnings

8/3/01 4:09:51a Tenebrion says, "Let me leave you with two cautions."
8/3/01 4:10:09a (Callia listens)
8/3/01 4:10:23a Tenebrion says, "Every time someone moves from the
Ethereal Plane to Purgatory they are making things worse."
8/3/01 4:10:25a Odesseus has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:10:43a Tenebrion says, "(If indeed you care about the
condensation of ether in Purgatory.)"
8/3/01 4:10:52a Tenebrion says, "And the second..."
8/3/01 4:10:52a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:11:04a Tenebrion says, "The Ethereal Sword is not a
plaything."
8/3/01 4:11:09a Coriakin has fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:11:12a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:11:14a Tenebrion says, "Attempts to acquire it cannot help
you."
8/3/01 4:11:25a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:11:35a Odesseus thinks, "I'm alright"
8/3/01 4:11:42a Callia says, "I will not keep you... but I would like
to speak to you again, when your time allows..."
8/3/01 4:12:10a Tenebrion says, "I will attempt to keep you apprised of
changes on the Ethereal Plane and how they might be affecting
Purgatory."
8/3/01 4:12:11a Callia thinks, "Ode, Cori, and Forey all down"
8/3/01 4:12:18a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:12:19a Odesseus thinks, "I'm up"
8/3/01 4:12:23a Tenebrion says, "I would appreciate reports on any
disturbances in Purgatory."

Family Feud

8/3/01 4:12:39a Callia says, "I am also curious.. regarding your offer
about the Portal, for the Teleportation stones"
8/3/01 4:12:45a Forey is still fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:12:50a Tenebrion says, "I am discussing it with my brothers."
8/3/01 4:12:51a Barbarossa is no longer Clanning.
8/3/01 4:12:58a Flex thinks, "Coriakin is in Tenebrion's Demesne,
fallen."
8/3/01 4:12:59a Tenebrion says, "Some of us are violently opposed."
8/3/01 4:13:02a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:13:19a Tenebrion says, "I am arguing that allowing you
controlled access is better than the damage you might cause otherwise."
8/3/01 4:13:30a Callia says, "we have only met Umbrion..."
8/3/01 4:13:47a Tenebrion says, "he is the most vocal against you."
8/3/01 4:14:00a Flex thinks, "Forey is in Tenebrion's Demesne with
Coriakin.
Both fallen. Anyone assisting them?"
8/3/01 4:14:03a Callia asks, "hmm... you have 4 other brothers I
believe?"
8/3/01 4:14:09a Tenebrion says, "Yes."
8/3/01 4:14:10a Coriakin is still fallen to a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:14:19a Callia says, "it would be a pleasure to meet them also
:)"
8/3/01 4:14:52a Tenebrion says, "They guard their privacy jealously."

Spells of Protection

8/3/01 4:15:00a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:15:03a Callia says, "ahh well"
8/3/01 4:15:06a Tenebrion says, "As yet the spells of protection still
guard their homes."
8/3/01 4:15:32a Callia says, "hmm.. curious that Umbrion, who is
opposed to us.. has lost control of his"
8/3/01 4:15:40a Odesseus has fallen to a Bolok Cougar.
8/3/01 4:15:41a Tenebrion says, "If you could ever find out what has
broken the ones around this island and that of Umbrion's we would
reward you richly."
8/3/01 4:15:44a Forey has been fallen for some time because of a Guard
Commander.
8/3/01 4:15:52a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:16:11a Callia says, "I have one point to suggest..."
8/3/01 4:16:19a Tenebrion says, "They do not fail by accident."
8/3/01 4:16:26a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:16:30a Callia asks, "by design?"
8/3/01 4:16:43a Tenebrion says, "Someone or something is robbing their
power."
8/3/01 4:16:54a Odesseus thinks, "because it's locked, idiot"
8/3/01 4:16:57a Callia says, "illusory barriers are not a subject for
casual study"
8/3/01 4:17:06a Callia says, "like much else :)"
8/3/01 4:17:10a Coriakin has been fallen for some time because of a
Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:17:10a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:17:26a Callia says, "Qual seems to have little trouble
maintaining his barriers"
8/3/01 4:17:39a Callia says, "though those of my guild can see through
his illusions"
8/3/01 4:17:46a Tenebrion says, "I have not met him."
8/3/01 4:17:51a Callia says, "nor have I"
8/3/01 4:17:57a Callia says, "I merely comment"
8/3/01 4:18:01a Tenebrion says, "I am told he is evil."
8/3/01 4:18:18a Callia says, "from our perspective, and that of
Votenkath.. yes"
8/3/01 4:18:22a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:18:30a Odesseus thinks, "ok, fine. there is no action or
attack on
TI, just a couple of wanderers who fell"
8/3/01 4:18:38a Callia says, "my comment"
8/3/01 4:18:39a Tenebrion says, "And may be blamed for everything from
bad weather to baldness."
8/3/01 4:18:45a Forey has been fallen for some time because of a Guard
Commander.
8/3/01 4:18:49a (Callia smiles)

Sarirs

8/3/01 4:19:04a Callia says, "you have established Sarirs (is that what
you call them?)..."
8/3/01 4:19:13a Tenebrion says, "I can make them."
8/3/01 4:19:13a Callia says, "to offer items in trade.."
8/3/01 4:19:20a Lucero thinks, "Coriakin is fallen near the bridge
outside Tenebrion's castle."
8/3/01 4:19:25a Tenebrion says, "Ah."
8/3/01 4:19:32a Tenebrion says, "Yes. I am not always available."
8/3/01 4:19:33a Callia says, "for .. certain items that Exiles
encounter, and acquire"
8/3/01 4:19:40a Callia says, "it seems to me.."
8/3/01 4:19:49a Tenebrion says, "To keep certain items out of their
hands."
8/3/01 4:19:50a Callia says, "that such ... servants of yours..."
8/3/01 4:20:01a Callia says, "are aggravating the problem"
8/3/01 4:20:09a Coriakin has been fallen for some time because of a
Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:20:12a Callia says, "between Purgatory, and the Ethereal
Plane"
8/3/01 4:20:14a (Tenebrion sighs)
8/3/01 4:20:24a Tenebrion says, "I have such trouble understanding you
people."
8/3/01 4:20:38a Callia says, "many of them are .. morally weak"
8/3/01 4:20:41a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:20:47a Tenebrion says, "I thought it would stop your people
from playing with items they should not have."
8/3/01 4:21:06a Tenebrion asks, "You suggest it encourages them to get
them?"
8/3/01 4:21:07a Callia asks, "so instead you offer them access to the
place you have warned us not to go?"
8/3/01 4:21:16a Callia says, "I believe it does"

Tenebrion and the Ethereal Plane

8/3/01 4:21:26a Tenebrion says, "I do not mind if you go to the
Ethereal
Plane."
8/3/01 4:21:32a Tenebrion says, "I do not own it."
8/3/01 4:21:36a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:21:41a Callia says, "but.."
8/3/01 4:21:45a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:21:47a Tenebrion says, "And it makes no difference to me in
the slightest if Purgatory falls."
8/3/01 4:22:00a Callia says, "even the strongest parties tend to find
difficulty surviving there"
8/3/01 4:22:04a Tenebrion says, "I offer this information to you merely
because your people seem to care so much."
8/3/01 4:22:09a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:22:14a Callia says, "and for that I thank you :)"
8/3/01 4:22:21a The Sun rises.
8/3/01 4:22:36a Callia thinks, "Good Morning!! :)"
8/3/01 4:22:44a Callia says, "hmm"
8/3/01 4:22:56a Callia says, "we have been told.. by our elders..."
8/3/01 4:22:58a Callia says, "and others"
8/3/01 4:22:59a Tenebrion says, "It is up to you scholars to educate
your townsfolk as to the wisdom of going to the Ethereal Plane."
8/3/01 4:23:11a (Callia smiles slightly)
8/3/01 4:23:15a Callia says, "we try"
8/3/01 4:23:24a Callia says, "we have been told..."
8/3/01 4:23:29a Tenebrion says, "It is not a dangerous trip. If you
know what you are doing."
8/3/01 4:23:43a Callia asks, "you have ... suggestions? to aid groups
there?"
8/3/01 4:23:49a (Tenebrion laughs.)
8/3/01 4:23:53a (Callia shrugs)
8/3/01 4:23:58a Tenebrion says, "Not at this time. No."

The Wager

8/3/01 4:24:09a Callia says, "you are wise Lord Tenebrion, who else
would we ask? :)"
8/3/01 4:24:39a Tenebrion asks, "Your scholars have a council of
sorts?"
8/3/01 4:24:42a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:24:44a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:24:58a Tenebrion says, "I have faith you can determine the
wisest course of action yourselves."
8/3/01 4:24:59a Callia says, "yes, we do"
8/3/01 4:25:08a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:25:12a Tenebrion says, "I have made a substancial wager on
that very outcome."
8/3/01 4:25:17a Tenebrion has not disclosed his race, is male, is a
Fighter, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
8/3/01 4:25:17a He is holding a dagger.
8/3/01 4:25:19a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:25:44a Callia says, "how .. trusting of you :)"
8/3/01 4:25:52a Callia says, "Umbrion has bet against us? :)"
8/3/01 4:25:55a Tenebrion says, "Not trusting."
8/3/01 4:26:03a Tenebrion says, "Yes he has."
8/3/01 4:26:07a (Callia nods)
8/3/01 4:26:18a Callia asks, "may I ask what the .. nature of the wager
is ?"
8/3/01 4:26:21a Tenebrion says, "I believe you to be far more
intelligent than he does."
8/3/01 4:26:32a Tenebrion says, "Unpredictable, but intelligent."
8/3/01 4:26:35a (Callia smiles)
8/3/01 4:26:49a Tenebrion says, "He likens you to, well, perhaps that
is not important."
8/3/01 4:26:55a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:27:04a Callia says, "perhaps not :)"
8/3/01 4:27:15a Flex thinks, "Babajaga is fallen in Tenebrion's keep."
8/3/01 4:27:35a Callia thinks, "as are Coriakin and Forey"
8/3/01 4:27:36a Coriakin thinks, "I'm up, will be raisin' Baba soon
with the help of many others"
8/3/01 4:27:43a Tenebrion says, "I imagine many people sit on the wet
paint. At some stage they might learn not to. ;)"
8/3/01 4:27:45a Forey is becoming part of the scenery, since falling to
a Guard Commander.
8/3/01 4:27:49a (Callia laughs)
8/3/01 4:27:52a Callia says, "indeed :)"
8/3/01 4:27:54a Tenebrion says, "Farewell. I am late."
8/3/01 4:28:01a Callia says, "thank you for your time :)"
8/3/01 4:28:11a Tenebrion is no longer Clanning.

#####
POTION REPORT
BY CORIAKIN THE THOOM

Ahoy there!

I recently heard the news that Mar Solkin had disappeared, after
finally selling his potion to the Winds of Dawn (on behalf of Puddleby)
for approximately 70,000 coins and some brambleberries.

Being naturally inquisitive, I rushed to the alchemy lab and learned
the creation process so quickly, I probably forgot some things about
healing. Ah well.

In any event, I became either the first, or one of the first exiles to
be able to create tykan healing potions! The process involves
dissolving kyten into distilled water, and adding crushed togron nuts
to the solution until it turns a dull silvery colour. The actual
proportions need to be carefully measured, and some training in basic
chemistry and specific alchemy is required before usable potions can be
created.

As soon as I had produced several of these potions, Highlander, Zorton,
and several others along with myself set about testing the potion to
determine its healing capabilities. We discovered that its healing
capabilities are greater than that of red healing potions, but once a
body is battered beyond a certain point, the potion is useless. Thus,
it cannot be used on fallen exiles. Although red healing potions are
proscribed by the Healers' Guild, there are no restrictions upon tykan
potions, and healers may use them freely.

To sum up:
- New healing potion, requires some training to produce
- Ingredients: togron nuts, kyten, water (bottled)
- Can be used by all professions
- Heals more than red potion, but doesn't work on fallen
- Held in left hand (VERY good for chainers)
- Healed me (better student bodrus, better student higgrus) 20-25%

The price for a potion will of course fluctuate with the availability
of the ingredients, mainly the kyten. Since togron nuts are pretty
common and kyten is continuously available (for a price), I decided
that 150c for a potion is a pretty reasonable price. Some people have
given me all the ingredients, and I'm happy to make potions for people
who bring all the parts to me, but when people ask for more than 1 or
two potions, I charge 10c per potion for services. Since there is no
precedent, I tried to set a standard that seemed reasonable. If people
are charging you more than something along those lines, you're probably
getting ripped off. :)

In my opinion, Mar Solkin didn't rip us off. These potions, while they
can't be used to raise fallens, are half the price of red potions
(depending on the price of kyten), are easily available, can be used by
any profession, and are useful for emergency situations and especially
for chainers.

I hope that the price of 150c will be enough to discourage fighters
from taking potions hunting instead of healers. I doubt this will be
much of a concern, though.

Coriakin
Healer, Bard, Alchemist

#####
AN APPEAL TO THE CITIZENS OF PUDDLEBY
BY LEOGIC

(Editor's note: Leogic recently left the lands for an extended journey.
It's unknown if we'll see him again. Fishwrap here presents one of his
last writings.

- Para)

Citizens of Puddleby and Those Beholden to It,

Of the Ethereal Plane, its portals and freely trading our technology to
an enemy encampment.

I find it very dolorous that someone - Gurgi or Natas - would sell the
efforts and hopes of others in desire of attaining themselves a
glistening new gewgaw. Deranged and baneful are some of the few words
and impressions that spring to mind. Methods of the Darshak or T'rool
are others. Do you really respect and admire individuals who have
habitually done whatever suits themselves without regards to if it was
right or wrong?

I would recommend that if the lot of you want to keep Puddleby from
being dominated by the dark-hearted and corrupted souls, do something.
I feel pity for Tyking. He has taken the brunt of the blame for being
an agent of Tenebrion. He is surely not the only one.

Many will question in detail, mostly those who seek power above wisdom,
my motives in saying this. Pondering the possibilities of my individual
feelings and motives being jealousy and/or spite, they will ask how
wrong is this, or what do I know. They question the word of a minor
fighter. It's easy to dismiss my word, as many dun creepers have sought
to debase it. I seek those whose words hold greater weight and who
rally against such actions and treacheries.

I beseech some of you to look inward and search yourself and ask that
you realize what is going on before it is too late. Think and summon
what wisdom is within you and act before the lot of you are sold off
for 30 pieces of silver.

Sincerely,
Leogic of The Fighter's Guild

#####
UNOFFICIAL FISHWRAP INTERVIEW WITH SLYPH
BY SUM THE THOOM

Sum exclaims, "Slyph!"
Slyph says, "hiya, Sum"
Sum asks, "Do you have a moment?"
Slyph says, "er, I guess so."
(Sum grins.)
(Sum plops down messily into the puddle. He thooms happily.)
Sum says, "Please join me in yon puddle."
Slyph says, "gah"
Slyph says, "um, I'm fine on land :)"
Sum says, "Aww, pooh."
Sum says, "I wish to interview you unofficially for Fishwrap Magazine.
It will take but a moment."
Slyph exclaims, "!"
Slyph says, "ok, sure :)"
(Sum smiles.)
Sum says, "I have a number of questions, which you may answer or choose
not to."
Sum asks, "Are you ready?"
Slyph says, "alright."
Slyph exclaims, "ready!
Sum asks, "Question 1: Thooms wear no pants. How do you feel about
this?"
Slyph asks, "I feel fine about that. why should Thooms cave in toward
oppressive gender norms?"
(Slyph smiles warmly)
(Sum grins.)
Sum asks, "Question 2: I used to own a ball of mud. I no longer own it.
How do you feel about that?"
Slyph says, "I feel just fine. Look about you now. You are rich in
mud."
Sum says, "Good point."
(Slyph nods)
Sum says, "Question 3: As a healer, which is more important to you:"
Sum asks, "Rapid healing from red to white, or rapid raising of the
dead and the far-gone?"
Slyph says, "Rapid healing is more important-- it's preventive healing,
it sidesteps being fallen at all."
Sum says, "Good answer."
Slyph says, "Er, the first choice."
(Sum jots that down.)
Slyph says, "of course it is."
(Sum snickers.)
Sum asks, "Question 4: What three words most succinctly describe your
clan, the Moon?"
Slyph says, "Hmm."
Slyph says, "Fluid, tenacious, and intuitive"
Sum exclaims, "Very good!"
(Slyph smiles)
Sum asks, "Question 5: Do you think I would look good in a dress like
yours? I mean, be honest. Do I have the hips?"
Slyph says, "hmm."
Slyph says, "I haven't seen this color on a Thoom, but if you didn't
have pale skin, it could work."
Slyph says, "Fashion is all."
(Sum makes a note.)
Sum exclaims, "Thank you for your time! You have been very helpful!"

#####
FISHWRAP POLL

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

Malkor                                       1     4.55%

Papa Thoom                                   4     18.18%

_I'm_ your daddy                             4     18.18%

Vagile                                       2     9.09%

Umbrion                                      1     4.55%

That talking Noid who always gets in my way  3     13.64%

I'm an orphan                                7     31.82%

To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

The poll is still open!

Vote today!

#####
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH RALDIN THE MYSTIC
BY JEANNE

Jeanne says, "Okay, I have 5 questions and then you ask me one question
at the end. Do you have any opinions on the Mystic Council in general,
and if so, what are they?"

Raldin says, "I think the Mystic Council is very good."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about the reasons that Neige gave as
for his leaving?"

Raldin says, "Uhm, you don't really question a mystic who's about to
jump if you already know why he's gonna do it. I'm just sorry that he
didn't realize that being a mystic is miserable a lot earlier. We try
to tell people, but they won't listen."

Jeanne asks, "Why do you say that being a mystic is miserable?"

Raldin says, "Well, we have the highest suicide rate I'd say,
especially with the recent events. I don't think fighters ever kill
themselves because they are so pathetic or healers, for that matter. I
say we are pathetic beacuse that is the nature of the guild. It's a
long tradition, and all members try to keep it up."

Jeanne asks, "So what exactly is so bad? The profession itself, the
guild, or the people who join? In your opinion, of course."

Raldin asks, "The bad part about being pathetic, you mean?"

Jeanne says, "I mean, what do you think causes mystics to be so
useless? The guild, the mystic profession itself, or the people who
join, or a combination of them?"

Raldin says, "Well, the very nature of a mystic is uselessness. Why
there are people who want this is beyond me...but, the fact is that
there really are people who want to be mystics."

Jeanne says, "I still don't understand why you think mystics are so
useless, though. It seems to me that mystics can be as useful as
healers or fighters."

Raldin says, "Heheh. Well, useful is a tricky word. Yea, sure our
fallen bodies can brick monsters .. and that's useful. But beyond
that..."

Jeanne asks, "Well, what about locating fallen or tuning sunstones or
boosting? Aren't those skills useful? Certainly more useful than the
exiles who dedicate themselves to repairing worn clothes"

Raldin says, "All that stuff is all well and good but hardly essential"

Jeanne says, "I think I used the word "useful.""

Raldin says, "The price paid for each of those things is much too high
to be of value to us which is part of our problem."

Jeanne asks, "What is the price paid?"

Raldin says, "Urm, no comment."

Jeanne says, "Oh, okay, don't want to breach any mystic secrets. So,
why did you become a mystic?"

Raldin says, "I was one of those people who got it in their head to be
useless and pathetic, and I wanted to throw fireballs."

Jeanne says, "Pity that any fireball throwing would be done by
fighters, even if that would happen in my lifetime."

Raldin says, "Ah jeeze, I think I have to go visit Resetus then."

Jeanne exclaims, "Oh, no! Don't do that!"

Raldin says, "Oh yea, we still got this interview."

Jeanne asks, "So what is your specialty?"

Raldin says, "Well, I can act..."

Jeanne says, "I meant mystic specialty, but your other specialties are
okay too."

Raldin says, "Ok, I see how it is..."

(Raldin nods lightly)

Jeanne says, "I want to inform everyone on the powers of the mystic."

Raldin says, "Ahahaha"

Jeanne ponders, "Even though they all seem to have low self-esteem."

(Raldin chokes on his laugh)

(Jeanne slaps Raldin on the back)

Raldin says, "oof, thanks."

Raldin says, "Oh yes, we are really powerful, just ask that great
vermine that soloed me the other day."

Jeanne says, "Well, not everyone can kill everything that moves."

Jeanne asks, "No seriously, what is your mystic specialty? What do you
like to boost? If anything, of course."

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "I like to boost exiles."

Jeanne asks, "Which boost?"

Raldin says, "Yes"

Jeanne asks, "Yes?"

Raldin says, "You got it."

Jeanne asks, "Both boosts? I don't mean to pry. I just want the
Fishwrap readers to know a bit about your skills as a mystic. Feel free
to boast."

Raldin says, "My skills are like my guild. I tune a sunstone now and
again. It's fun to do, I like doing that, but then I get soloed by a
great vermine, which is not so fun. Sometimes I come up short, but then
I realize that has more to do with being a dorf."

(Jeanne chuckles)

Jeanne asks, "So you are more of a generalist mystic?"

Raldin says, "As in I am generally useless and pathetic, yes."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about the lowering of Nyssa's mystic
status and her subsequent leaving?"

Raldin says, "People make choices. It's all the same in the end. If she
overthrew the Mystic Council, she would have created a council of her
own, someone wouldn't have liked it, overthrown it and made their
council... and then ANOTHER person would not have liked THAT council
and then overthrown THAT one. Then we would be back to square one."

Jeanne asks, "So are you saying that she would have been better served
by working with the current council?"

Raldin says, "That's a "what if", those are scary."

Jeanne says, "Ah indeed, they are rather uncertain"

Jeanne asks, "What do you think about how mystics are promoted?"

Raldin says, "Promotions are good. I like hearing everyone congratulate
people on their advancement into the abysmal Mystic Guild. It gets a
chuckle out of me sometimes, but then I find a giant vermine who makes
me stop laughing."

Jeanne asks, "I hear that being promoted depends more on who you know
than on your skill. Your thoughts on this?"

Raldin says, "I think that who ever said that is just frustrated with
being a mystic which makes little sense, to me at least."

Jeanne asks, "What do you think of the role of mystics in Puddleby
society?"

Raldin says, "It is very similar to that of those strangly dressed
greeter-people in the clan house and courthouse. We are just like those
guys.

Raldin ponders, "I wish I knew their tailors too."

Jeanne says, "You don't have a high opinion of your abilities. Do all
mystics feel this way? I mean, why be something if you feel so bad
about being it?"

Raldin says, "No, some might think we aren't so bad, but I think they
are just in denial... makes little sense, but there are very few things
that do make sense"

Raldin says, "When you find something that does, it's usually served in
the pub."

Jeanne says, "I suppose I won't understand why mystics think they are
useless. You can argue for less useful at times. You can also argue for
more useful at times too. Kind of like the rest of us. Do you think I
am in denial for thinking this way?"

Raldin says, "No, just misinformed. I try to trust in the Sun and just
walk my path."

Jeanne says, "Now you can ask the Fishwrap reporter ONE question."

Raldin asks, "Just one...? heheh"

Jeanne says, "Well, you can have two."

Raldin says, "LOL"

Jeanne says, "Maybe even 3 if you share back."

Raldin is sharing experiences with you.

Raldin asks, "Ok, will you give me a discount on an ad now?"

Jeanne says, "Hmmm, I can possibly cut a deal with Paramedic. I *am* a
senior reporter now."

Raldin says, "Or do I have to include TUNE WITH RALDIN as part of the
interview?"

Jeanne asks, "Oh no, how much do you want as a discount?"

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "50%."

Jeanne says, "I'll get as much as possible."

(Raldin nods)

Jeanne asks, "Anything else?"

Raldin says, "Nope, was fun thanks"

Jeanne asks, "Want to say anything to the Fishwrap readers?"

(Raldin shrugs)

Raldin says, "I've got nothing"

(Raldin waves)

Jeanne asks, "So you want to say "hello"?"

Raldin says, "Yea that's good."

(Jeanne smiles)

Jeanne says, "Thank you for the interview and your opinions on mystics"

(Raldin nods)

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCMENTS

Engaged: D'Noma and Arod

#####
A DISCUSSION WITH TENEBRION
RECORDED BY YOR THE ZO

The House on the Freeway

8/7/01 8:12:26p Natas says, "hey big T"
8/7/01 8:12:29p Yor exclaims, "Strim!"
8/7/01 8:12:31p (J'jh waves)
8/7/01 8:12:32p (Achates bows.)
8/7/01 8:12:34p (K'Pyn waves.)
8/7/01 8:12:39p K'Pyn exclaims, "'Lo sir!"
8/7/01 8:12:39p (Demian sighs sadly.)
8/7/01 8:12:55p K'Pyn ponders, "talkative today I see"
8/7/01 8:12:58p Tenebrion says, "Greetings"
8/7/01 8:13:07p J'jh ponders, "thanks for offering this chair.."
8/7/01 8:13:11p Achates says, "Hello Lord Tenebrion"
8/7/01 8:13:26p Demian says, "Min'tei Tenebrion'sar..."
8/7/01 8:13:28p Tenebrion asks, "Has there been any evidence that the
ether flowing from the Ethereal Plane is in fact flowing to your
Purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:13:37p K'Pyn asks, "evidence sir?"
8/7/01 8:13:43p Yor says, "yes"
8/7/01 8:13:43p Natas says, "not that I have seen"
8/7/01 8:13:56p J'jh says, "There was an ethereal cloud in Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:14:00p Natas says, "ahh"
8/7/01 8:14:01p (Yor nods.)
8/7/01 8:14:02p Achates says, "Yes"
8/7/01 8:14:05p Tenebrion says, "That is a bad sign."
8/7/01 8:14:16p Yor asks, "Does departing from the Ethereal Plane hurt
Purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:14:16p K'Pyn asks, "The cloud in purgatory is a bad sign?"
8/7/01 8:14:17p J'jh says, "it is"
8/7/01 8:14:28p (Demian frowns.)
8/7/01 8:14:44p Tenebrion says, "I don't think it is the departing. It
is any move from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:14:52p Achates says, "Ahh"
8/7/01 8:14:56p Yor says, "good"
8/7/01 8:15:02p Satuki is now Clanning.
8/7/01 8:15:04p Tenebrion asks, "Departing is only one way of making
that move isn't it?"
8/7/01 8:15:06p K'Pyn asks, "Well, you don't consider a depart a move?"
8/7/01 8:15:10p Natas says, "Well, most have been either departing or
exiting via the tower"
8/7/01 8:15:10p K'Pyn says, "ah"
8/7/01 8:15:17p K'Pyn says, "indeed only one way"
8/7/01 8:15:26p Yor asks, "so departing is bad?"
8/7/01 8:15:29p Tenebrion says, "The tower is private property."
8/7/01 8:15:42p Tenebrion says, "You people do not seem to respect that
notion."
8/7/01 8:15:32p Achates asks, "What about moving from within the
Ethereal Tower... does that also entail consequences?"
8/7/01 8:15:34p Yor asks, "Does departing from the Ethereal Tower hurt
purgatory?"
8/7/01 8:15:34p J'jh asks, "departing, pendanting and portal?"
8/7/01 8:15:39p Achates says, "ahh"
8/7/01 8:15:52p Yor asks, "whose tower?"
8/7/01 8:16:00p Natas says, "I saw no signs"
8/7/01 8:16:05p Tenebrion says, "It belongs to me and my brothers."
8/7/01 8:16:06p Demian chirps in Sylvan.
8/7/01 8:16:24p Tenebrion asks, "So if I put up a sign you will respect
it?"
8/7/01 8:16:31p Yor says, "but, it's the only way out without damaging
the Ethereal Plane...."
8/7/01 8:16:33p Natas says, "probably not"
8/7/01 8:16:35p J'jh says, "yes, and we want it, it's a great way to
travel"
8/7/01 8:16:54p Achates says, "Then do you claim the Ethereal Plane as
your realm? Your family's zodiac rings seem to claim certain snells..."
8/7/01 8:16:59p Tenebrion says, "There are many ways to leave the
Ethereal Plane without going to Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:17:12p (Yor shrugs.)
8/7/01 8:17:12p Tenebrion says, "No, I do not lay claim to the plane."
8/7/01 8:17:19p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:17:21p Tenebrion says, "I lay claim to our tower."
8/7/01 8:17:28p K'Pyn asks, "but you put property there?"
8/7/01 8:17:29p Achates asks, "Just the tower which your family
constructed?"
8/7/01 8:17:36p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:17:41p K'Pyn asks, "that's kinda weird isn't it?"
8/7/01 8:17:46p Natas says, "well I lay claim to the plane so your
tower is on private property"
8/7/01 8:17:52p K'Pyn asks, "Like puttin' a house on a freeway?"
8/7/01 8:17:53p (Yor laughs.)
8/7/01 8:17:53p Demian ponders, "feh"
8/7/01 8:17:56p (Achates chuckles.)
8/7/01 8:18:00p K'Pyn exclaims, "hehe!"
8/7/01 8:18:17p Yor asks, "why are some of the mirrors in the tower not
functional?"
8/7/01 8:18:33p Tenebrion says, "There are no mirrors in our tower."
8/7/01 8:18:35p (Demian mutters something obscene in Ilsardinish
referencing the Ethereal Plain.)
8/7/01 8:18:40p Yor says, "umm"
8/7/01 8:18:45p Achates says, "I can respect that since you constructed
it ... it is yours ... but can we reach some agreement on access? It is
very useful to us"
8/7/01 8:18:45p K'Pyn asks, "there aren't?"
8/7/01 8:18:46p Yor says, "ok portals"
8/7/01 8:18:47p Natas says, "the portals"
8/7/01 8:18:47p Demian ponders, "Lilly..."
8/7/01 8:18:54p K'Pyn says, "oh portals"
8/7/01 8:19:01p Achates asks, "or only portals should we use?"
8/7/01 8:19:05p Yor asks, "why are some of the portals in the tower not
functional?"
8/7/01 8:19:20p Tenebrion says, "They all function perfectly. I use all
of them on a daily basis."
8/7/01 8:19:25p Achates asks, "Better question, are the portals
functional to you?"
8/7/01 8:19:29p (Achates nods.)
8/7/01 8:19:45p Yor asks, "why can we only go through three of them?"
8/7/01 8:19:49p Natas says, "why is it that exiles are rejected by some
of these portals?"
8/7/01 8:19:56p Tenebrion says, "You should not go through any of
them."
8/7/01 8:20:04p J'jh asks, "why not?"
8/7/01 8:20:06p K'Pyn asks, "Tenebrion, what problem do you have with
exiles using your structure as a way station?"
8/7/01 8:20:15p Tenebrion says, "As I say, the tower is private
property."
8/7/01 8:20:19p (K'Pyn shrugs.)
8/7/01 8:20:21p J'jh asks, "so?"
8/7/01 8:20:28p K'Pyn says, "yes, but we're not likely to damage it"
8/7/01 8:20:30p Yor asks, "Are you saying you travel to the Abyss?"
8/7/01 8:20:37p Achates says, "We have a problem though Tenebrion..."
8/7/01 8:20:39p Tenebrion says, "I am not yet convinced you are not a
threat."
8/7/01 8:20:45p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:20:48p J'jh asks, "a threat to what?"
8/7/01 8:20:48p (Demian watches the conversation go in circles...)
8/7/01 8:20:55p Tenebrion says, "To me, of course."
8/7/01 8:21:05p Achates says, "if we portal to Ethereal Plane... then
open a portal there to go back it goes to Purgatory..."
8/7/01 8:21:19p Achates asks, "That is bad, correct? Any movement to
Purgatory and Ethereal Plane is bad, yes?"
8/7/01 8:21:21p J'jh asks, "you with your powers are afraid of this
poor bunch?"
8/7/01 8:21:25p Tenebrion says, "That can't be good for Purgatory."
8/7/01 8:21:31p Achates says, "Aye"
8/7/01 8:21:40p Yor asks, "Are you saying you travel to the Abyss
through that portal outside the tower?"
8/7/01 8:21:41p Achates says, "Your tower is our only way to not
combine the two realms"
8/7/01 8:21:46p Natas says, "so our solution is to use your portals"
8/7/01 8:21:55p Natas says, "until we can find another way"

Tenebrion's Offer

8/7/01 8:21:58p Tenebrion says, "I offered you another solution."
8/7/01 8:22:11p Achates asks, "the 10 Ethereal Stone offer?"
8/7/01 8:22:11p K'Pyn asks, "oh?"
8/7/01 8:22:13p Natas says, "departin' isn't a solution for me"
8/7/01 8:22:20p Tenebrion says, "I have spoken with my brothers."
8/7/01 8:22:32p K'Pyn ponders, "what offer, dangit!?!"
8/7/01 8:22:36p Tenebrion says, "We are willing to be more reasonable."
8/7/01 8:22:37p Achates says, "I suspect they are not too happy with
you and your chaotic experiment"
8/7/01 8:23:01p K'Pyn exclaims, "!"
8/7/01 8:23:06p Yor asks, "more reasonable?"
8/7/01 8:23:09p K'Pyn exclaims, "sounds great to me!"
8/7/01 8:23:16p J'jh exclaims, "look what the cat brought in!"
8/7/01 8:23:17p (Malkor smiles.)
8/7/01 8:23:19p Demian chirps in the Sylvan language.
8/7/01 8:23:22p Tenebrion says, "K'pyn, I have offered to build you a
permanent two-way portal from your town to the Ethereal Plane."
8/7/01 8:23:23p (Malkor winks at J'jh.)
8/7/01 8:23:31p Natas says, "and back?"
8/7/01 8:23:37p K'Pyn says, "sounds quite good to me"
8/7/01 8:23:45p Tenebrion says, "Yes, and back. Two-way."
8/7/01 8:23:47p K'Pyn asks, "at what cost?"
8/7/01 8:23:49p (Demian chuckles.)
8/7/01 8:24:10p Tenebrion says, "My original offer was for 50
teleportation stones."
8/7/01 8:24:10p J'jh says, "but you can do some math Tenebrion"
8/7/01 8:24:16p K'Pyn exclaims, "ouch!"
8/7/01 8:24:17p Achates says, "Ahh"
8/7/01 8:24:26p (K'Pyn shudders.)
8/7/01 8:24:28p Tenebrion says, "I have discussed the terms with my
brothers."
8/7/01 8:24:34p Natas asks, "have you considered the offer of 10?"
8/7/01 8:24:45p Tenebrion says, "If you agree to some simple
conditions, we will lower that substantially."
8/7/01 8:24:47p J'jh says, "by the time we gather 50 stones nobody will
be interested anymore in the Ethereal Plane..."
8/7/01 8:24:59p Malkor ponders, "Conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:00p Yor asks, "what conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:12p K'Pyn asks, "oh dear Tenebrion, don't you have enough
of us 'agreeing' on terms?"
8/7/01 8:25:14p Tenebrion says, "That you respect that the tower and
our keeps are private."
8/7/01 8:25:17p Achates ponders, "I will be interested in a two-way
portal indefinitely"
8/7/01 8:25:38p Malkor ponders, "Does he have anyway of enforcing his
conditions?"
8/7/01 8:25:40p Tenebrion says, "If you agree to that we will make you
such a portal for a single teleportation stone each."
8/7/01 8:25:47p Natas says, "we cannot gurantee that, and you of all
should know it"
8/7/01 8:25:57p K'Pyn asks, "each?"
8/7/01 8:25:58p J'jh says, "ah"
8/7/01 8:26:04p Natas says, "we do not have control over every exile"
8/7/01 8:26:08p K'Pyn asks, "meaning one for each brother?"
8/7/01 8:26:42p Tenebrion says, "I will accept the word of those who
agree. People who break the conditions will be noted and dealt with
separately."
8/7/01 8:26:48p K'Pyn says, "aahhh"
8/7/01 8:26:51p Yor says, "Can we give the traitor Malkor to you
instead? After all he did steal a sword from you."
8/7/01 8:26:53p Natas says, "sounds good to me"
8/7/01 8:26:54p Achates says, "I see"
8/7/01 8:26:55p (Tenebrion laughs.)
8/7/01 8:26:58p (K'Pyn snickers playfully.)
8/7/01 8:27:06p (Demian glances at Malkor)
8/7/01 8:27:09p Tenebrion says, "If he has six stones in his pockets."
8/7/01 8:27:09p Natas says, "let's do that anyway..."
8/7/01 8:27:13p (Yor laughs.)
8/7/01 8:27:17p J'jh says, "he still owes me 5000 coins"
8/7/01 8:27:25p K'Pyn says, "I'll certainly agree that your keep and
that tower are private"
8/7/01 8:27:48p Yor asks, "so 6 stones and stay away from tower?"
8/7/01 8:27:50p K'Pyn asks, "does that mean if my fellow exiles don't
abide by that I'm not allowed to help them?"
8/7/01 8:27:52p Tenebrion says, "Yes."
8/7/01 8:28:05p K'Pyn ponders, "yes to me or to Yor?"
8/7/01 8:28:21p Tenebrion says, "Yes, K'pyn. You either agree not to
enter the tower or you do not."
8/7/01 8:28:37p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:28:45p (K'Pyn looks thoughtful.)
8/7/01 8:29:04p K'Pyn says, "That's a tough promise to make sir."
8/7/01 8:29:10p (K'Pyn frowns.)
8/7/01 8:29:58p K'Pyn asks, "well, how do we go about this, Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:30:15p Tenebrion says, "You bring me six stones and we will
build the portal."
8/7/01 8:30:16p Achates asks, "gather the 6 stones and stay away from
the towers...?"
8/7/01 8:30:17p K'Pyn says, "We have to invade your keep just to get
the stones you want..."
8/7/01 8:30:27p Tenebrion asks, "You do?"
8/7/01 8:30:31p Achates says, "no, we have to invade the orga camps...
I believe"
8/7/01 8:30:33p K'Pyn ponders, "erm"
8/7/01 8:30:33p Natas says, "he wants the stones from orga camp, K'pyn"
8/7/01 8:30:38p K'Pyn says, "ahhh"
8/7/01 8:30:41p K'Pyn ponders, "oops"
8/7/01 8:30:51p Achates says, "gather the 6 stones and stay away from
the towers... seems simple enough"
8/7/01 8:30:55p K'Pyn says, "uh, ignore the previous comment"
8/7/01 8:30:56p Yor asks, "will you trade a phantasmonicon for a
purgatory pendant?"
8/7/01 8:31:10p Tenebrion says, "I might consider that Yor."
8/7/01 8:31:16p Yor says, "ok =)"
8/7/01 8:31:17p Achates exclaims, "Interesting!"
8/7/01 8:31:19p Yor says, "graha"
8/7/01 8:31:43p Achates asks, "May, we inquire regarding your other
brothers' names? Or is that information strictly classified?"
8/7/01 8:32:00p Tenebrion says, "I have mentioned them previously"
8/7/01 8:32:18p Tenebrion says, "They prefer to remain out of your way
for now."
8/7/01 8:32:34p Achates says, "Yes, I suspected as much with their
magic rejecting us"

Tenebrion Doesn't Know Umbrion's Landlord

8/7/01 8:32:40p J'jh asks, "do you know who Kizmia is?"
8/7/01 8:32:52p Tenebrion says, "I have never heard of Kizmia."
8/7/01 8:32:57p Yor asks, "They have islands in the Lok'Groton Island,
chain Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:32:59p J'jh says, "funny"
8/7/01 8:33:02p Tenebrion asks, "She is from your town?"
8/7/01 8:33:12p K'Pyn says, "hrm.. she claims Umbrion's island"
8/7/01 8:33:17p (K'Pyn smirks.)
8/7/01 8:33:23p Achates says, "or her children claim it"
8/7/01 8:33:23p J'jh says, "your brother's castle is on Kizmia's
island"
8/7/01 8:33:26p Tenebrion says, "Umbrion does not have an island."
8/7/01 8:33:33p Tenebrion says, "I see."
8/7/01 8:33:34p K'Pyn says, "uh"
8/7/01 8:33:36p Achates asks, "its merely an illusion?"
8/7/01 8:33:44p Yor asks, "Your brothers live on islands in the
Lok'Groton Island chain Tenebrion?"
8/7/01 8:33:48p Tenebrion says, "She has made no claim on Umbrion's
keep."
8/7/01 8:33:50p Thalion is no longer Clanning.
8/7/01 8:33:58p J'jh says, "she will"
8/7/01 8:34:34p Tenebrion says, "My brothers guard their locations very
jealously."
8/7/01 8:34:34p Tenebrion says, "They are in no great rush to expose
themselves."
8/7/01 8:34:34p K'Pyn says, "just as you and Umbrion once did"
8/7/01 8:34:34p Achates says, "As many exiles do here"
8/7/01 8:34:38p (Yor nods.)
8/7/01 8:34:53p Achates says, "Especially with us failing the Exile
Planewalking Experiment"
8/7/01 8:34:57p J'jh ponders, "doesn't know Kizmia? how can that be?"

Tenebrion is a Bookish Sort

8/7/01 8:35:13p Yor asks, "Tenebrion, would you like to join us
sometime when we obtain a teleport stone from the orga?"
8/7/01 8:35:22p Tenebrion asks, "To join you?"
8/7/01 8:35:24p K'Pyn asks, "so what's the possiblity of ever getting 6
stones AND getting exiles to offer them?"
8/7/01 8:35:27p Achates says, "Yes"
8/7/01 8:35:30p Yor says, "yes"
8/7/01 8:35:35p Tenebrion asks, "In what manner?"
8/7/01 8:35:39p Achates says, "There is a powerful magician that
protects them"
8/7/01 8:35:41p Yor says, "fight alongside us"
8/7/01 8:35:47p Yor says, "and observe"
8/7/01 8:35:49p Tenebrion asks, "Physical combat?"
8/7/01 8:35:52p (K'Pyn laughs.)
8/7/01 8:35:54p J'jh says, "so you know what it takes to get such a
stone?"
8/7/01 8:36:01p Yor says, "ok just observe"
8/7/01 8:36:14p Yor asks, "so would you?"
8/7/01 8:36:17p Tenebrion says, "it sounds very much like putting
myself in harm's way."
8/7/01 8:36:23p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:36:31p Yor says, "we would protect you"
8/7/01 8:36:33p Tenebrion says, "I have lived a long life by avoiding
those situations."
8/7/01 8:36:42p Yor says, "ummm, ok"
8/7/01 8:36:45p Natas says, "that does not sound like living to me"
8/7/01 8:36:52p (J'jh laughs)
8/7/01 8:36:54p Yor ponders, "he's definitely not a Zo"
8/7/01 8:36:58p Demian thinks to you, "You forget he doesn't have the
luxury of Purgatory to fall back on."
8/7/01 8:36:59p K'Pyn says, "well, clearly Tenebrion's not much of a
fighter"
8/7/01 8:37:21p Tenebrion says, "I prefer a good book."
8/7/01 8:37:35p K'Pyn says, "bah, books are for mystics"
8/7/01 8:37:47p K'Pyn asks, "you call yourself a mystic then?"
8/7/01 8:37:57p Tenebrion says, "I am a scholar of sorts."
8/7/01 8:38:01p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:38:04p Tenebrion says, "I don't really call myself anything."
8/7/01 8:38:13p K'Pyn says, "Very well"
8/7/01 8:38:51p K'Pyn asks, "so the question remains... how is it
possible to gather and deliver 6 of those stones?"
8/7/01 8:39:08p Tenebrion says, "That sounds a great deal like it is
not
my problem."
8/7/01 8:39:31p Yor says, "Well, we'll get the word out anyways"
8/7/01 8:39:32p Demian thinks to you, "This looks like a task for your
LIFE group."
8/7/01 8:39:36p (K'Pyn nods.)
8/7/01 8:39:36p Achates asks, "I am curious as to your existence...
Have you perished from the Physical Plane? Do you only materialize here
as a ghost to us?"
8/7/01 8:39:39p Tenebrion says, "A portal such as we are offering is a
great deal of investment on our part."
8/7/01 8:39:54p J'jh says, "any deal that involves mystics will not
work..."
8/7/01 8:39:54p Tenebrion says, "I very much live on the physical
plane."
8/7/01 8:39:59p Achates says, "Ahh ok"
8/7/01 8:40:03p K'Pyn ponders, "looks physical to me"
8/7/01 8:40:11p (Tenebrion knocks on the table.)
8/7/01 8:40:12p Achates asks, "Are there 6 layers to the Physical
Plane?"
8/7/01 8:40:16p (Natas pokes Tenebrion with a stick)
8/7/01 8:40:21p Natas says, "yep, he's there"
8/7/01 8:40:21p K'Pyn exclaims, "!"
8/7/01 8:40:37p (Achates acknowledges the solidity.)
8/7/01 8:40:38p Tenebrion says, "It depends on the worldview to which
you subscribe."

#####
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ASK THE THOOM
"Dubious advice from a fish-like being"

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

"Someone is stealing all my fish! What do I do?

- Angry Zo

A: Dear Angry Zo,

Store your leftovers in your throatsac.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"How to Grab Feet" by Super Chicken
"I Couldn't Believe I Was Unable to Open My Own Gate" by Wisher the
Thoom
"Someday, I'll Be Back, and Then You'll All Be Sorry" by Tarf the Dwarf
"Savage May Be My Long-Lost Relative" by Rael the Squonk

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record
transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

#####

Fish he got a hook in his throat
Fish he got problems

- Genesis

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Override! Where's the override?!?"

Issue #42: "The Ethereal Plane"
[July 30, 2001]
Circulation: 164

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Tenebrion talks (a lot)
Merlisk and Snow reproduce
Papa Thoom takes the lead
Guide for Newly-exiled Fen'neko

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Bavmorda the Thoom is now a fourth circle healer

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* A good old-fashioned 'Noids rescue
* Orga and Darshak invade
* Increased interest in the Ethereal Plane
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Magi in McBolie Cavern
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_277_20_32 on 7 Autumn, 542 at 21:23..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Gurgi of not training me in defense after
taking a bribe...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 266 minutes in jail, 2068c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_281_17_56 on 11 Autumn, 542 at 18:59..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Malkor of keeping him from being
raised at the Arena..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_289_19_51 on 19 Autumn, 542 at 20:42..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Stormraven of committing a fashion no-
no..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 804 minutes in jail, 6339c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_298_15_26 on 28 Autumn, 542 at 16:27..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Gurgi of cursing me repeatedly..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 295 minutes in jail, 2743c
fine and 0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 31, 542, with 1386 eligible
voters:
#199: Are you currently sharing with a mystic?
27 (53%): Yes
19 (37%): No
3 (6%): None of the above
2 (4%): Abstain

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

I just got back from cod fishing, and I'm still cleaning up my fishing
gear.

The witches of Puddleby have asked if they could write headlines for
this issue of Fishwrap, so I've agreed to let them have a stab at it,
so to speak.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
"Doom for Puddleby Imminent"

FEATURE INTERVIEW
WANGAH RAH SPEAKS SPEAKS TO TENEBRION

Please send any comments to wangahrah@.... Your feedback is
important to me. Special thanks to Paramedic for printing this in
Fishwrap on such short notice.

Wangah Rah: "Hail, Tenebrion. I've heard much about you and your
experiments, and they intrigue me very much. Perhaps you could tell me
a bit about them?"

Tenebrion: "The paths from the Ethereal Plane and your Purgatory are
growing stronger. Each time someone makes that trip the path becomes
more defined. Have you, or your scholars, noticed any recent
disturbances in Purgatory? It is no danger for me. I thought you might
be interested however."

Wangah Rah: "I have been studying for a bit...the latest was with some
clouds of ether which I believe you are aware of. Is this one of the
dangers posed?"

Tenebrion: "Storms of ether could be one manifestation."

Wangah Rah: "Many people blamed that occurence on you. Does that have
any truth to it? I've heard that you experiment with the Ethereal Plane
much...does that have the same effect?"

Tenebrion: "A storm seems to be brewing. It could strike any day now. I
have been using the Ethereal Plane carefully for centuries. I know how
not to create disturbances there."

Wangah Rah: "Would you be able to teach us? And need the exiles be
warned? What is to be expected in this storm?"

Tenebrion: "Warn your townsfolk of the impending storm and let them
know of the dangers in traveling from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "What kind of storm? What can be expected? And would you be
able to help us, prepare us, or have anything that would make us more
ready?"

Tenebrion: "Tell your scholars to watch for happenings in Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "Is a rift opening between the Ethereal Plane and
Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "It could happen if the path were traveled often enough.
That would introduce a grave danger to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "Indeed it would. Would there be danger to the real world,
or to exiles who don't go to Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "The initial danger would be in Purgatory. However, the
danger would flow to your world from there."

Wangah Rah thinks, "I'm talking to Tenebrion. He is telling me that
there is grave danger, a storm is approaching that may hit anytime. He
warns of the dangers of travelling from the Ethereal Plane to
Purgatory, and that a rift is already opening, and could pose grave
danger to Purgatory. After that, it could worsen and danger would flow
to our world. I'm told this is very important, and we need to watch
purgatory very carefully and watch and prepare for an impending storm"

Tenebrion: "A flow of ether into Purgatory could condense as clouds."

Wangah Rah: "Aye, that would explain the clouds of ether. But that was
in our world, not Purgatory...did they flow from Purgatory to here?"

Tenebrion: "They do not leave traces. It could have come that way."

Wangah Rah: "Have there been any sightings of clouds of ether in
Purgatory?"

Aerick thinks, "I haven't [seen any clouds of ether in Purgatory] Not a
one (1)"

Wangah Rah: "That's very interesting. You say there is no danger to you
because you know how to safely travel there, correct?"

Tenebrion: "That and I never go to Purgatory."

Wangah Rah: "But if exiles travel, and open the rift even more, and
danger flows to this world, how will even you remain safe?"

Tenebrion: "Should it grow that bad I have a refuge I could use."

Wangah Rah: "That seems extreme; a worst case scenario. Have you any
way of helping us? Tools, information, perhaps an alternate way of
doing things?"

Tenebrion: "I would hope my warnings were of some help. The rest will
depend upon the actions of your people."

Wangah Rah: "What would you recommend? No more visits to Ethereal
Plane? Be more cautious with it? Everything could help, because if it
worsens even you could be in danger"

Tenebrion: "Every time the Ethereal Sword is collected and people leave
the inner circle to Purgatory the path becomes more defined."

Wangah Rah: "How can we leave Ethereal Plane without going to
Purgatory?"

Tenebrion: "There are several other ways to leave the plane. I must
return to an experiment now. I will attempt to warn you once more as
the storm grows."

#####

"Exiles march to their deaths in Ethereal Plane; witches rejoice"

A CONVERSATION WITH TENEBRION
FROM RIEGER

Location: Tenebrion's "Audience Chamber" on the ground floor of his
Keep.

Date: Sombdi, day 28 of Autumn, 542 (aka July 28th, 2001)

Comments: A small group led by Gurgi and Natas find Tenebrion in his
Audience Chamber as they prepare to collect the remaining crystal
pieces to allow another visit to the Ethereal Plane via the Zodiac
Maze.

This piece has been edited slightly for Fishwrap publication.

  Tenebrion  Greetings
  Rieger     Greetings
  Tenebrion  There is a storm brewing.
  Rieger     oh?
  Suu'ub III :0
  Asmodean   What kind of storm?
  Tenebrion  Recent travellers on the Ethereal Plane have opened a path
to your Purgatory.
  Gurgi      I've noticed your Zodiac symbols are no longer very
reliable.
  Rieger     oh!
  Rieger     that can't be good
  Tenebrion  Every time that path is used the path becomes more clearly
defined.
  Gurgi      Weren't there many paths to Purgatory set up by your zodiac
rooms before anyways?
  Rieger     a two-way path?
  Tenebrion  Ether is leaking into Purgatory.
  Tenebrion  They were never used, Gurgi.
  Gimli      A path to our Purgatory from where?
  Rieger     Ethereal Plane.
  Tenebrion  From the Ethereal Plane.
  Gurgi      Well, can you make a portal from Ethereal Plane to this
place directly?
  Rieger     Departing might not be very fun soon.
  Tenebrion  It does not matter to me.
  Tenebrion  You often tell me how inportant Purgatory is to your
people.
  Rieger     nods vigorously
  Tenebrion  Of course I can Gurgi. I use one such myself.
  Gimli      So, creatures from the Ethereal Plane may be in purgatory
soon?
  Rieger     that's my inference
  Tenebrion  There is that danger Gimli.
  Suu'ub III That means they can surely gain access to Puddleby.
  Gimli      What can we do to avoid that danger?
  Rieger     You have a suggestion to turn this around?
  Rieger     heh
  Tenebrion  Avoid moving from the Ethereal Plane to Purgatory.
  Rieger     Ah good idea
  Tenebrion  Quite a simple solution really.
  Rieger     By not going to Ethereal Plane?
  Mac        How do we leave the Ethereal Plane if not though Purgatory?
  Gimli      Will things return to normal if we avoid that?
  Natas      Is there another way out of the Ethereal Plane?
  Tenebrion  There are thousands of ways out that do not require leaving
to Purgatory.
  Rieger     Ah it's only departing from the Ethereal Plane that is a
problem?
  Mac        For example??
  Natas      Want to clue us in on one?
  Gurgi      Actually, I know of how to leave without going through
Purgatory.
  Tenebrion  I do not know if departing from there would count.
  Gurgi      There are other exits
  Natas      That isn't an option in my book
  Rieger     So there are ways from Ethereal Plane directly to our
plane?
  Tenebrion  It is the physical journey which defines the path.
  Tenebrion  There are, Rieger.
  Tenebrion  And back again.
  Rieger     ah
  Mac        For example?
  Tenebrion  You should ask your scholars to build a portal to and from
your town.
  Mac        chuckles
  Mac        We have no scholars of portals.
  Tenebrion  I have offered to build such a portal myself for you.
  Tenebrion  The price was considered unreasonable.
  Mac        We have access to a portal system near our town, but we do
not have the knowledge to use them.
  Gimli      Ah, what was the price?
  Tenebrion  50 of the teleportation stones.
  Rieger     Eep
  Natas      Make it one and you got a deal.
  Tenebrion  laughs.
  Rieger     How about busted ones?
  Tenebrion  For one I will trade an Ethereal Portal stone.
  Gimli      50 stones will not be gathered quickly
  Tenebrion  I could offer you a busted portal for 50 busted
teleportation stones.
  Rieger     chuckles
  Tenebrion  I might be willing to do that for 10.
  Tenebrion  shrugs
  Mac        Your portals bust?
  Tenebrion  The permanent ones do not.
  Mac        You indicated that they do
  Rieger     Quick let's go get 50 teleportation stones
  Tenebrion  The portal stones have a limited use.
  Rieger     How about 10 teleport stones?
  Tenebrion  A small portal for that price.
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] The teleport stone are the ones we got on a
FMOCR?
  Tenebrion  A fifth of the size.
  Rieger     10 we might be able to do. We'll be old and dead before we
get 50
  Rieger     [Thinks to Gimli] yeah
  Rieger     Would one a fifth the size work?
  Tenebrion  For beings smaller in size than you, my stout friend.
  Mac        hehe
  Rieger     Great, a rat portal.
  Gimli      chuckles.
  Natas      Let's flood the Ethereal Plane with our rats!
  Mac        heh
  Rieger     Even if we wanted to get you 50, it would take us many,
many years
  Tenebrion  In the interests of full disclosure, it would be a two-way
portal.
  Mac        Sounds good
  Gimli      If we give you ten, could we get a larger one later after
we gather more stones?
  Mac        At the very least it would take 4 years to collect 50
stones.
  Rieger     Yeah and prolly twice that long
  Tenebrion  That is all?
  Rieger     smiles
  Rieger     Isn't the danger more imminent than that?
  Tenebrion  Your youth gives you a weird perception of a long time.
  Gimli      nods
  Rieger     true
  Rieger     However, all our kind has the same limited perception
generally.
  Rieger     Thus it would be hard to get people to commit 4 years to
this
  Gimli      So, could we get a small one for ten and then a larger one
for 40 more stones?
  Tenebrion  You would consider meeting a price of ten stones?
  Rieger     If it's 50 or nothing I suspect we would not be able to
"rally the troops"
  Mac        For a full portal perhaps
  Natas      Sounds far more reasonable
  Rieger     Yes
  Rieger     Sounds more reasonable
  Tenebrion  A full portal for ten teleportation stones?
  Rieger     and even "doable"
  Rieger     uh, who needs to decide this?
  Mac        That would be a number that we could meet, yes
  Gurgi      fighters come
  Gurgi and others leave to join the fighting.
  Tenebrion  I would consider that. I will look at the costs and tell
you of my decision.
  Rieger     I believe we could meet that price though
  Rieger     good
  Rieger     any sense of how bad the "rift" is already?
  Tenebrion  There is no rift.
  Rieger     leak
  Gimli      Good!
  Tenebrion  Merely a path which is becoming more defined.
  Rieger     ah
  Rieger     Can things get through now?
  Mac        Wouldn't the increased Ether here benefit you?
  Tenebrion  It is not "things" getting through that you should be
worried about.
  Rieger     [whispers] how the hell we going to get 10 stones?
  Natas      what should we be worried about?
  Rieger     what then?
  Tenebrion  Ether only rarely condenses.
  Gimli      Ah, what should we be worried about?
  Mac        Naturally you mean?
  Tenebrion  A path might serve to funnel ether from its proper place in
the cosmos.
  Rieger     Could it damage our Purgatory?
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] Should take about 20 FMOCR to get them.
  Tenebrion  Concentrations of Ether not on the Ethereal Plane could
be....
  Tenebrion  unpredictable.
  Mac        Need help in courtyard
  Rieger     Sorry to be blunt, but why do we care if Ether isn't in its
right place?
  Tenebrion  I don't.
  Rieger     No, no, why should WE care?
  Tenebrion  Your town seems very concerned with Purgatory.
  Rieger     Gotcha
  Tenebrion  Concentrations of ether in Purgatory might be less than
desirable.
  Tenebrion  You have seen the small clouds?
  Gimli      Yes
  Rieger     nods
  Tenebrion  What use would Purgatory be to you with a full storm raging
in there?
  Rieger     Ah, those in Purgatory would not be good
  Natas      need axes
  Rieger     uh huh
  Gimli      be right back
  More people leave to join the fighting.
  Tenebrion  Not a strong concern of mine.
  Rieger     what is?
  Tenebrion  Your people often express interest in these matters.
  Rieger     You have expressed a strong interest in Purgatory yourself
  Tenebrion  Never in the place. Only the means by which you travel
there.
  Rieger     ah
  Natas returns.
  Natas      Want to call off your guards while we negotiate here?
  Rieger     Teleportation stones are new to you?
  Tenebrion  We are negotiating?
  Natas      I hate to slaughter them all
  Tenebrion  I was meditating.
  Rieger     Mediating? between who?
  Natas      Ahh well I was thinkin' of your guards well-being
  Tenebrion  Meditating.
  Rieger     Thought we was "dealing"
  Rieger     Thanks for being open to a more reasonable price by the way
  Gurgi returns.
  Gurgi      Damn, your guards are sooo annoying
  Tenebrion  I will not promise that price.
  Sushi enters the room for the first time.
  Sushi      Someone killed one of my rats nabbit
  Rieger     understood
  Tenebrion  They don't annoy me.
  Rieger     We can't promise we can even get 10
  Natas      They won't be annoyin' ANYONE anymore
  Tenebrion  They are replaceable.
  Gurgi      Why bother?
  Tenebrion  I pay their town for a certain number. If that number is
not present, they send more.
  Sushi      What/who is replacable?
  Gurgi      Just stop replacing them and everyone all round will be
less annoyed
  Sushi      Who are you?
  Tenebrion  They provide a measure of physical security for me.
  Falinus    Tenebrion, you do not care for them and you do not care we
are here, why pay for something you do not need?
  Gurgi      Tenebrion, will you give me one of the Ethereal Portal
Stones in return for a Soul Sword?
  Rieger     Keeps the riff raff away maybe
  Tenebrion  There are other dangers besides yourselves.
  Sushi      Anyone know who this guy is?
  Rieger     yes
  Natas      call him big T he likes that
  Tenebrion  For a Sword of Souls?
  Gurgi      yes
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] I guess we should tell the mystic guild
about his request for portal stones
  Rieger     He's got a lengthy history with town
  Tenebrion  I have instructed some Sarirs to trade with you.
  Sushi      Soulsword is a friend of mine. Do you know her?
  Rieger     [Thinks to Gimli] yeah they'll love this
  Gurgi      Ya, but they are dumb
  Tenebrion  You can find them in a room south and east of here.
  Gurgi      They only trade certain things
  Tenebrion  They are dumb.
  Tenebrion  I do not make them for intelligence.
  Gurgi      right
  Gurgi      So that's why I want to make this trade with you
  Tenebrion  I have one, thank you.
  Gurgi      They don't know how to make custom trades
  Rieger     you think the mystics will give up the next 10 stones?
might be a very tough sell :-/
  Tenebrion shows his Sword of Souls to everyone.
  Gurgi      You will then have more to trade for Purgatory Pendants
  Tenebrion  I have been making them once per month. I have a small
supply at the ready.
  Gimli      [Thinks to you] Aye, but a portal would interest them I
think.
  Rieger     Tenebrion, if it can't be stones, what else could we trade
for a portal?
  Sushi      Why are you showing us a sword with a trapped and captured
and tortured soul inside it?
  Gurgi      I'm not satisfied with mine.
  Gurgi      Wanna know why?
  Tenebrion  The teleportation stones are what interest me the most at
the moment.
  Natas      Because it's an inferior weapon?
  Gimli      Do the swords have any effect on the planes?
  Gurgi      I could make a better weapon from a tin can
  Rieger     chuckles
  Sushi      I don't think tortured souls are anything to advertise.
  Tenebrion  I find mine useful when traveling on certain planes.
  Rieger     ah
  Tenebrion  Tortured isn't a word I would use.
  Natas      Sounds like a sales pitch to me.
  Gimli      Is there a cost to using a Soul Sword?
  Tenebrion  I suppose it depends on one's point of view.
  Sushi      Oh great..we have to capture and torture souls to go
someplace?
  Gurgi      So, Tenebrion I'd like to trade my Sword of Souls in, that
you say is so awesome, for a Ethereal Portal stone
  Tenebrion  Not to the person who wields one.
  Gurgi      sounds like a great deal from your perspective
  Gurgi      since you think it's such a great weapon
  Tenebrion  As I mentioned, I have a good supply of the swords.
  Sushi      Where did you get the souls?
  Gurgi      If you had one more it would be an even better supply
  Falinus    Tenebrion, will the Sword of Souls cause any indirect
damage to our plane?
  Gurgi      ok whatever
  Gurgi      I can see you're wasting my time
  Rieger     Any news about your brother?
  Tenebrion  Each being they dispatch adds to the pool of souls.
  Gurgi      Let's go finish the quest
  Tenebrion  Which brother?
  Rieger     Umbrion
  Tenebrion  I have five.
  Rieger     The one with the nearby island
  Sushi      ponders this
  Gimli      Do you have any sisters?
  Tenebrion  Umbrion is still working on maintaining the spells of
illusion. He does not believe they have failed.
  Rieger     and where is the "pool of souls"?
  Tenebrion  No sisters.
  Tenebrion  That is a matter of some debate, Rieger.
  Rieger     He doesn't believe they have failed? people stomp on that
             island every day nowadays
  Gimli      Are any of your other brothers nearby?
  Tenebrion  Distance is such a relative thing isn't it?
  Gimli      As is time. :)
  Rieger     You have a theory about the soul pool?
  Tenebrion  A theory, certainly. No proof.
  Rieger     Ya think the swords affect the wielder?
  Gimli      I would like to hear your theory
  Sushi      Can you give us any assurance that only the souls of of
evil beings are captured and used in these 'Soul Swords'?
  Tenebrion  It strengthens the user.
  Tenebrion  Good and evil are slippery concepts.
  Rieger     besides the direct effect of being a weapon
  Natas      Wait.
  Sushi      So it seems as I listen to you
  Sushi      Slippery is a very good word
  Rieger     You have any contact with our empire across the seas?
  Tenebrion  Mortal empires are transitory and boring things.
  Rieger     The Ascendancy doesn't interest you in any way?
  Sushi      Souls can live in purgatory forever.
  Tenebrion  They can?
  Sushi      Where are the souls within these swords?
  Tenebrion  That sounds time-consuming to prove.
  Rieger     You willing to share your soul pool theory?
  The door is securely locked.
  Natas      We are ready to start our quest thingy
  Sushi      They cry out in pain when we use them!!!
  Tenebrion  Perhaps another day. I am late.
  Mac        Tenebrion, why is this door locked now?
  Tenebrion  Pain or pleasure?
  Mac        It was open just a moment ago
  Tenebrion  It always remains locked.
  Mac        No, I ran though it myself
  Natas      Wasn't just a few minutes ago
  Tenebrion  Someone must have a key.
  Rieger     Late? You sound impatient ;-)
  Gurgi      key?
  The door is securely locked.
  Gurgi      eh
  Gurgi      that door was just open
  Tenebrion  I wish you well in your adventures. Do call again.
  Gurgi      What happened?
  Rieger     Thanks you can count on that
  The door is securely locked.
  Gurgi      It was open before!
  Natas      [loudly] be well big T
  Tenebrion exits out a door to the north.
  Gurgi      Damn it.
  Rieger     Well, that was sorta interesting
  Gimli      Well, that was interesting

  Hours later virtually everyone departs from the Ethereal Plane.

Thanks to Rieger for contributing this transcript.

The unedited version can be found here:

http://faircraft.com/rieger/tenebrion_conv.html

#####
"Breeding Experiment Conducted"

NEWS FROM THE THOOM MAILING LIST

Thoom all,

I'm sure Merlisk is so busy that he hasn't had a chance to send this
out himself. He's a daddy! Snow gave birth to a new exile, named
Merlowe. Amazingly enough, Merlowe is already walking and talking, even
though she's only a couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
investigating how this might have happened.

Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully all Thooms
will do their best to make her feel like a full member of the Puddleby
Thoomunity.

- Rizal

---

> Amazingly enough, Merlowe
> is already walking and talking, even though she's only a
> couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
> investigating how this might have happened.

If someone figures this out, please let me know. Seems to violate
several natural laws.

> Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully
> all Thooms will do their best to make her feel like a
> full member of the Puddleby Thoomunity.

Does she look like a Thoom or a Sylvan?

- Para

---

>> Amazingly enough, Merlowe
>> is already walking and talking, even though she's only a
>> couple of days old. ThoomCare physicians are still
>> investigating how this might have happened.
>
> If someone figures this out, please let me know. Seems to
> violate several natural laws.

Personally, I think it's because Snow drank while pregnant, but I can't
prove that. Otherwise, Merlowe's healthy and doing great!

>> Although Merlowe is part Thoom and part Sylvan, hopefully
>> all Thooms will do their best to make her feel like a
>> full member of the Puddleby Thoomunity.
>
> Does she look like a Thoom or a Sylvan?
>
> Para

I'm not telling, but she's gorgeous!

- Merlisk

#####
"Democracy fails again"

FISHWRAP POLL

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

   o Malkor
   o Papa Thoom
   o _I'm_ your daddy
   o Vagile
   o Umbrion
   o That talking Noid who always gets in my way
   o I'm an orphan

To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

The poll is still open! Papa Thoom has recently pulled into the lead,
but a surprising number of exiles are orphans!

Vote today!

#####
"Miss Manners for Cats"

GUIDE FOR NEWLY EXILED FEN'NEKO COMING TO THE LOK'GROTONS
BY ODESSEUS

Ghrre'tsei to all new fen kin arriving on Puddleby Island, Exile
central!

I realize many of you have come directly to this island from the fen
lands and may find the great variety of strange races a shock. Here is
a short tip guide to help you along during the beginning of your stay
while you grow accustomed to the new and sometimes perplexing behavior
that the non-Fen'neko exhibit.

>> New faces, new races

First of all, you'll see Ghorak'Zo here. No, they aren't guards or
oppressors, they are exiled, too! Who would think that the creatures
Moebius drew from another, far-flung dimension to help (finally!)
overthrow The People's domain would now become a victim of that very
distorted leader. Ironic, eh? And to top it all off, most of them are
quite good sorts. I've even made fast friends with several of 'em, even
trust 'em with my life! So don't be too quick to judge them.

The other races are:

Humans - Most fen are aware of humans. We've warred with them and
traded with them and warred with them again. The ones here are not
altogether different. They are a trusting lot and can be steadfast and
reliable. They do have a propensity to be a bit boisterous, but are
mostly harmless.

Sylvan - Many fen may not have met this race of people. They have many
of the same sense of aesthetics and grace that fen have. Sometimes this
can be harmonious, sometimes not. They have interesting pointed ears
and can hear quite well with them, but they are not very expressive.
Otherwise, sylvan look like humans. Better dressed, for the most, part,
though.

Dwarves - This smaller, human-like race is hard-working and reliable.
Since they occupied the mountains bordering south of the mainland, many
fen may never have seen them. They seem to like hard helmets with horns
on them and beer. Lots of beer. Lots and lots of beer.

Halflings - Sometimes Halflings and Dwarves are initially confused by
newer fen. Although both are diminutive, they are quite different.
Halflings and fen have some good and bad history between them, mostly
good. The eastern-most plains fen are quite familiar with them. Good-
natured, also hard-working and very resourceful. Do not invite one to
dinner, however. Nor leave any food out in their presence. Also, it's
advisible to keep paws and feet a good distance from them. One never
knows.

Thooms - These are the more odd looking of the races. I've found them,
like all of the other races, by-and-large friendly and helpful. Thooms
excel in the healing arts, are very intelligent and thoughtful. Some
measure of them can be, however, quite cranky. And although they smell
vaguely of fish, Thooms take exception to being referred to as food.

>> Salutation situations

Greetings are handled differently by most other races. I know, I know,
fen usually tip an ear, tail-tip slighty, or incline the head a bit,
and that should be good enough. It's good enough for us, no? But these
races have no control over their ears, and, obviously, no tails.
Tipping an ear to another race is usually unnoticed. Staring and not
reciprocating any of the unfamiliar gestures they offer is considered a
breach of etiquette, odd as they may seem.

-A tooth for a tooth
Most of the races "smile" or "grin" here, a baring of the teeth to show
happiness. No, they are not threatening you, baring their fangs to show
aggression. They are displaying that they are pleased to be in your
presence. Try to "smile" back. Admittedly, the first smiles a fen make
may be a rictal grin that more frightens than assures, but if you
practice, you can usually flash a bit of a grin that isn't *too* bad
looking. I have tried to give toothy displays to others similar to what
they give me, but, oddly enough, it just seems to make them nervous.

-Bend over, please
Some may "bow" after smiling, bending awkwardly at the waist. While
something similar (although more graceful) is a sign of subservience in
some areas of the fen lands, that is not necessarily true here. Other
fen have remarked it looks like they are crouching to pounce. Generally
it is a sign of respect to having met you. I find the usual head-
incline, slightly more exaggerated, suffices in this case.

- Getting shaky
Some may jut their paw out and approach you while smiling. Again, this
is not a threat gesture! None of the races have claws that can scratch
much. This is actually an initiation to "shaking paws," (or "hands" as
humans call them) where the right paw of two persons are extended,
grasped firmly and pumped up and down. Be careful with your claws as
non-fen consider scratches of any form unfriendly. Some of the larger
races may want to squeeze your paw so hard it nearly crushes it. I find
a quick extension of the claws can immediately release the other's
grasp. I am still researching the origin of this odd greeting.

- Uh, zo
Zo's like to head-butt other people, forgetting we (or any other race,
for that matter) don't have the bony plates that they have. I have yet
to find a polite way of avoiding this form of greeting.

So if someone approaches you, bows, smiles and sticks their paw out
toward you, do not attack! It's meant as a friendly gesture. If it's a
Zo, you may try running away, though smiling as you do so.

>> Happy talk

Nearly all of the exiles speak a gutteral form of "Common," an
Easterling language not often heard in the fen lands. I suggest you
acquire its use quickly. It is not very hard to learn but is not geared
toward the fen. The other races have flattened teeth that allow less
precise pronounciation of words, so the language is tailored to that
end. However, don't worry if you slur the language overmuch. I've come
to find even those who speak it natively slur it, as well. Some of the
other races speak Fen'neko fairly understandably, so if necessary, you
can recruit one of these as a translator if the other speaker slurs *
too* much.

I'm going to suggest something a bit radical here: If you find yourself
accompanying races other than fen or human for a decent part of your
time, you may want to learn their language. It will gain their respect
and confidence if you do. At the very least it will enable you to
understand just what it is they are saying in that chirpy-mumbly-
growly-whatever language they use.

>> A fen and their hunt

Hunting on the islands is very open. No claim of ownership in the lands
exist, nor are any animals reserved for some special reason or other.
So hunt as you like. One word of caution: if another is engaging an
animal directly, even if it is one of the smaller races and is getting
torn to shreds, doing them a favor by dispatching the creature in
question is normally met with scorn. Ask or wait for them to ask before
helping out.

Be sure to get a sunstone as soon as you are able. Not only will that
allow you to hear what others proclaim they need help in hunting, but
if you get over your ears, you can ask for assistance yourself. Just do
it politely.

Work gradually from town center outward, taking down whatever prey your
abilities and your (crudely-wrought) armament allows. There are even a
couple of fun areas where you can hunt... exiles. But that's not really
sporting. Well, not most of the time.

That should get you started! If you have any questions, feel free to
ask any of the other more experienced fen in the lands. Seems we are
all in it for the long haul.

Bvier'tsei!

#####
"Incompetent Thoom misidentifies short, fat exile"

CORRECTION

Last issue, Fishwrap accidentally referred to Gurgi as a dwarf. As we
all know, Gurgi is a HALFLING.

Fishwrap apologizes to Gurgi and any dwarves or halflings who may have
been offended by this error.

- Para

#####
"Dubious advice from a fish-like being"

ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

Is the rumor that Kojiro and WormTounge are actually Thooms true?

- Zoose

A: Dear Zooze,

Shhh, it's a secret.

---

Q: Dear Paramedic:

What's your last name?

- Jazza

A: Dear Jazza,

Urm, "the Thoom"? I don't know. Don't ask me questions like that.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better and everything's safe

- Toad the Wet Sprocket

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Who's your daddy?

   o Malkor
   o Papa Thoom
   o _I'm_ your daddy
   o Vagile
   o Umbrion
   o That talking Noid who always gets in my way
   o I'm an orphan


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: Will you be training with Dentir
Longtooth to learn how to extract
mandibles?


CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Yes, I want a new source of income, 9 votes, 56.25%
- No, I don't think it's worth it, 7 votes, 43.75%
- What are mandibles?, 0 votes, 0.00%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Printed on Recycled Paper"

Issue #41: "Gone Fishin'"
[July 24, 2001]
Circulation: 161

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

Gurgi gets technical
Vagile interviews Vagile
Catering by Jinx
Sleipnir reports for Fishwrap Music News
Taking the "Panther Challenge"

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Rael the Squonk
http://www.berberland.com/cl/
* Phroon the Thoom
http://homepage.mac.com/phroon/
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tyranis Calgar is now a member of ThoomCare
* ThoomCare member Heronymous is now a fourth circle healer
* ThoomCare member Luthic Darkus has left Puddleby for a long trip
* Callia has become a full mystic
* Long-time Puddleby resident Zwei has left exile
* Neige the Mystic has left Puddleby
* Crippler the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter,
remains missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rieger leaves Zouclougeist Alliance
* Adventures at Umbrion's Island
* Taking the Panther Challenge
* An unscheduled trip to the Abyss
* How not to rescue the Horde
* Famous exiles Jo Ma'ril and Slasher return to the lands
* Reports that Urgelt has passed the sixth circle fighter test
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Umbrion's Island accessible without a mystic
* Koric gives Frozen Shade a very rare steel pot
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* Expedition to the Ethereal Plane
* Tenebrion's servant, Sorer
* The Wedding of Firebird
* Elite Darshak Invasion
* Dun'ilsar: ELF vs BOI
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_192_08_49 on 12 Summer, 542 at 10:20..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Jo Ma'ril of stealing atention away from
me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 436 minutes in jail, 4527c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_197_04_03 on 17 Summer, 542 at 5:02..."
Clerus says, "Robin accused Noah of stealing his bloodblade..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 28 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_201_10_10 on 21 Summer, 542 at 11:05..."
Clerus says, "Bobo accused Ledward Vicious of endangering the town, and
suspected arson...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 159 minutes in jail, 1039c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_205_08_52 on 25 Summer, 542 at 9:53..."
Clerus says, "Zelnar accused Mac-arena of operating without a license
and stealing my carpet..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 242 minutes in jail, 946c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_229_03_46 on 49 Summer, 542 at 4:38..."
Clerus says, "Kira accused Malkor of harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_246_00_59 on 66 Summer, 542 at 2:16..."
Clerus says, "Forey accused Naamah of the murder of Aeaea, master
scholar of the Red Quill..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 80 minutes in jail, 395c fine and
0 days banished."

Results from the last ballot, closed Summer 63, 542, with 1361 eligible
voters:
#198: POP QUIZ for healers: You have a fallen on the edge of lava. Do
you:
6 (16%): Heal the fallen on the lava, over and over until he is too
dead to raise.
15 (39%): Pull the fallen off of the fricking lava before raising him.
11 (29%): None of the above
6 (16%): Abstain

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Gone Fishin'

Even Thoom healers need a vacation now and then. This month's feature
interview is by Fishwrap Senior Reporter Jeanne.

In addition, this issue includes contributions from a variety of
exiles.

I'm off to catch some cod. See you next time.

Nuba Yo!

- Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
JEANNE TALKS WITH GURGI THE DWARF

I had the great pleasure of talking to Gurgi about the fifth circle
fighter's test, how to train for these tests, and much more.

Jeanne: Thank you for agreeing to this interview. I promise to make
this as painless as possible. Well, I'll try.

Gurgi: You're welcome.

Jeanne: What were the creatures in the fifth circle fighter test?

Gurgi: Lava beetle, blood wyrm, and banshee.

Jeanne: Do you think that a fighter has to train a certain way to pass
the test, or does the test allow for variations in training?

Gurgi: Well, there is a most efficient way, but it is possible with any
style; just some would take a lot longer. There are usually three key
elements. You need enough defense for the monsters to whiff you, enough
Atkus to hit them, and enough damage/time to kill them in the time
limit. You can't get around the damage per time, but that requirement
is not usually outrageous. Having more damage per time of course
increases your buffer for delays, and also your buffer for luck hits
since the monsters get to attack you less if you kill them faster. If
you lack the defense, then you need a lot more Histia and damage/time
to make up for it. That is probably the hardest way to pass the test.

Well, except lacking the Atkus, I guess. If you lack the Atkus to hit
them, you are pretty much out of luck, or rather you better be pretty
full of it. 8D The only way you could do it then is by being able to
kill everything in 1 or 2 luck hits and have very fast swings. Luck is
always going to be a factor though any time you take the test. When you
train, you are really increasing your chances to pass, not just trying
to get to an exact point where you will pass. So once you have Atkus,
damage/time and defense to pass you could, but you can still increase
your chances by increasing your buffer for luck, like getting more
Histia and Darkus/Regia.

Jeanne: What do you think about getting your defense from Histia
instead of or in addition to Detha? Since Histia, in my opinion,
protects against both regular and luck hits.

Gurgi: If you get it instead of Detha, then you are in for a long road,
but Detha is kind of an all or nothing thing. So once you reach a
certain point more Detha will not help you in the test. At that point
it is useful to get more Histia to increase your buffer for luck hits.
Technically you could pass any of the tests with zero Histia, since it
is possible that you could never get luck hit. But it's not likely.
Once things in the test whiff you at max balance, Histia is one of the
best ways to pass (assuming you have the other requirements already).

Jeanne: Oh, so when the creatures in the test whiff you, that's when
you know you can go on to other trainers?

Gurgi: Yes, though you don't need to do the requirements in order. You
will fail just as surely if you can't hit them, but once you have the
minimum requirement then you can increase your tolerance for bad luck
with Histia and you can lessen your exposure to monsters by having more
Darkus.

Jeanne: Atkus takes a heavy toll on balance; who do you train with to
counter that?

Gurgi: Well, you could get Swengus, which is a mix of Regia and Balthus
(approximately 50/50), but you could also just get straight Regia. If
you just want to keep your swing rate up, plain Regia works fine. In
fact, I often do a custom mix of Detha and Regia since Detha replaces
the defense lost from taking more Balthus to swing, and Regia makes up
for the longer regeneration time.

Jeanne: Ah, it seems that this way is up for a personal preference.

Gurgi: Yes. If you want lots of swings then Swengus is great. I tend to
favor detha as defense. Some prefer Balthus.

Jeanne: Do you think that you were given enough time to complete the
test?

Gurgi: Yes, I think the time limits are reasonable. If the time limit
is too long then people would Troilus a lot. The time limits are to
prevent that kind of thing.

Jeanne: Oh yes, although you would need a lot of Troilus to do that, I
think.

Gurgi: Well, if there was no time limit I could imagine some people
using the testing area for an hour. With a time limit, Troilus can help
some, but only if you have a lot.

Jeanne: Could you share some of your tactics in the test?

Gurgi: Well, I try to minimize luck hits, so I basically hit and run
everything but you don't want to run out of time either. So you need to
make sure you are swinging as fast as you can. Tactics depend a lot on
your strengths and weaknesses, but the basic idea is to maximize the
ratio of your swings to the monsters swings. You don't want to swing
too many times if the monster is going to hit you when you're at low
balance. So if you could swing four times in the time the monster can
swing twice, you might just settle for a one to one if the monster hits
you after one swing. A one to one ratio with max whiff is better than a
four to two ratio where the monster hits you every second swing. Also,
one little trick I saw in fifth is that it is actually possible to kill
the lava beetle without it swinging at you even a single time if you
are careful to attack only when it is running in circles and only from
behind. That would be useful if you're red and fighting it, which
brings me to another point. The order you fight the monsters is
important. Usually save the hardest monster for last so you have only
that monster to worry about when your fighting it and try to kill each
monster rather than just wound several at a time. I suggest everyone
have a timer when they fight too, so they know exactly how much time
they have left.

Jeanne: It's easy to train for the second circle since you can fight
many Ferals in the wild, however, how do you fight those fifth circle
critters in the wild to practice?

Gurgi: I don't know about the lava beetle, but the blood wyrms are very
common in RC.

Jeanne: RC?

Gurgi: Rocky Cavern.

Jeanne: Where is that?

Gurgi: It's just east of the northern entrance to North Pass on the way
to the lake. It's on the south wall. The tricky part about wild
monsters is they are variable so its hard to tell whether the monster
you are fighting is above, below, or equal to a standard monster. They
use only standard ones in the tests.

Jeanne: Well, if you can defeat all of the wild monsters then you might
be more confident since they all can't be the easiest ones.

Gurgi: Right.

Jeanne: Let's see; last question for you. What do you think about the
fifth circle area of the fighter's hall? Is the red belt a good enough
reward for passing?

Gurgi: Well, I hope they plan on adding more things for fifth and sixth
circle. I think sixth circle should have a pendant.

Jeanne: Like a Purgatory pendant?

Gurgi: Right. It could be slightly different, but similar. There are
probably going to be some hidden trainers or something too.

Jeanne: You think that there will be more hidden trainers?

Gurgi: Well I know there is a hidden pathfinding trainer so there could
be others hidden with him.

Jeanne: Well, I hope that the trainers are able to be accessed from the
fighter hall.

Gurgi: That sure would be nice.

Jeanne: At the very least, let us find them and then entice them to
come back here; just as with Bracis. It could be an even bigger
production to find the new trainers.

Gurgi: I think a cool item would be a life-stealing weapon, so when you
hit a monster it heal you some percentage of the damage you do.

Jeanne: But wouldn't that make fighters self-sustainable? It seems that
fighters and healers are being made to be dependent on each other.

Gurgi: If the percentage is small it might not be enough in dangerous
situations. It could be a good fifth or sixth circle item. It would be
more for sustaining fighters in junk hunts.

Jeanne: Do you want to say anything else to the Fishwrap readers?

Gurgi: Don't give up! Any week could be your lucky week.

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU
BY JEANNE

A surprising addition to the world of Puddleby was introduced during
the last Chaos Storm. The ability to keep our weapons at home was an
ability long wished for, mainly by healers who usually didn't even use
a weapon. Those who use bracers also welcome this change as they fight
with their hands. Another change was the addition of a small knife for
those that choose to wear cloaks. Human females now have an option to
wear pants and they wear their hair differently. I also noticed that
cloaked females sat a bit differently and there a number of other
changes like this to be found with nearly everyone. If you want to
leave your weapon at home too, go to the Fairgrounds and enter the hut
in the southwestern corner. You can go in both gender rooms no matter
what your gender is, but you can't disguise yourself as any other race.
I already tried and it didn't work.

---

While the main portion of the Outpost has not been opened (it's "real
soon now"), a new hunting challenge has been introduced. Located in the
small huts next to the Outpost, a Sylvan by the name of Firle Panr to
kill 50 Island Panthers in 110 Puddleminutes. I have not taken this
challenge but Koric reports on his own web site that the reward was
"hundreds of coins."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

The Puddleby Open Mic Club! Check out our Open Mic nights at the
ballroom for singing, dancing, bard music, skits and everything nice!

Paid for by Tyking II and Xepel

##### 
FISHWRAP MUSIC NEWS: SLYPHONICS IN ACTION
BY SLEIPNIR NA GRALAM, FISHWRAP MUSIC NEWS REPORTER

The Slyphonics are pleased to announce the publication of their debut
visionalbum "Chain Mail Bikini", which may be found at

http://www.reed.edu/~feigec/slyphonics/

In a concert to promote their visionalbum, the Slyphonics played to a
packed house of adoring fans, raising the noise and energy to a level
previously unheard of in the staid Bards' Field. In her pre-concert
show Vagile wound the crowd up to an intense fever of lizard-induced
excitement, leading to riotous scenes where the crowd tried to storm
the stage to touch the band when they finally appeared.

Despite a few minor technical glitches (ably corrected by Achates who
managed the sound system) the Slyphonics' presentation was a flawless
blend of blues, folk, and funk, bringing the audience to their feet
time and time again, and setting toes tapping throughout all of
Puddleby.

The lead singer Slyph surpassed herself in sartorial elegance,
appearing (for the first time in Puddleby history) in an actual chain
mail bikini, leaving little, if anything, to the imagination of her
many adoring fans. Her backing band, looking very stylish in black and
gold, set female hearts racing as they set new standards for Puddleby
elegance and sex appeal.

It was the show to beat all shows (until, that is, the next Slyphonics
show). If you missed it, you missed a truly world-changing event. Don't
miss the next one, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Music like this does not happen often, and when it does it leaves us
all with a memory to be cherished in our hearts forever.

Thank you Slyphonics. Puddleby loves you all.

Some selected fan comments:

"I loved the lyrics especially, but the Knight was very, very handsome
too". (Lady Babajaga Vanimalda).

"Stupendous. Amazing. Enthralling. The band members were so handsome,
and I loved the song lyrics". (Althea)

"The best musical event that Puddleby has ever experienced. A true
demonstration of how wonderful the Bards' Guild is and why we should
all support Bardship". (Chum)

"Kissing Achates to get backstage was the best thing I ever did. I even
got to touch Forey!" (Shamhat).

"Oooooooooooooooooooo." (Healery)

"I am a superhealer and do not attend such plebeian displays. But I was
told it was somewhat enjoyable for those who did so lower themselves."
(Klur)

"Slepnor is such a turd. But Slyph is OK" (Baffette)

"Absolutely fantastic! Incredible music and I loved the lyrics
especially. That is one sexy band. No, wait, don't publish that.
Er..... Bugger, too late." (Blitz)

"This was the best musical show I've ever seen in my entire life.
Sleipnir has so many talents it's just amazing. And Coriakin is so
Thoomy. Forey's a bit fat for my taste but he would probably be OK with
turnips. As for Slyph, well, well, well, what can I say. Wow! What a
voice! I'm green with envy." (Prue)

"Vagile offers free lizards to anyone who buys the visionalbum at the
advance discount price of 200 coins" (Vagile).

"Slyphonics? Who are they?" (Joe)

sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose
Fellowship of the Red Quill
The Order of True and Gentle Knighthood

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

LOCAL DORF SEEKS HOPS

Dwarven Militia member Gimli is seeking hops. He has plenty of barley
and wheat, but lacks the hops he needs to make them into that favorite
beverage of all dorfs, beer. He's hoping someone has some for sale or
trade.

Rumor is that the infamous faux-fisherman "Chum" ("Chum" may be an
alias) is hoarding all the hops.

Contact Gimli if you have hops to share.

Gimli asks, "Para, is it possible to advertise in your paper?"
Paramedic says, "Certainly, Gimli"
Paramedic says, "25 coins for a 1-line ad, 50 for a full ad"
Gimli asks, "Do you take beer in payment?"
Paramedic says, "Nope, beer dries me out. I'm aquatic and the alcohol
content is not good for my metabolism."
Gimli hands you 50 coins.
Gimli says, "Well, as you know there is a horrible hops shortage."
(Paramedic listens)
Gimli says, "Rumor has it that Chum has been hording all the hops."
Paramedic says, "That sounds like him"
Neige ponders, "Stupid me."
Althea says, "aye"
Gimli is a Dwarf, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
the Dwarven Militia.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(He wants to open a brewery.)
Gimli has 58 good and 1 bad karma.
Gimli says, "I have collected over sixty bundles of barley and wheat,
but I do not have any hops to make them into beer."
Papa thinks, "can a mystic locate holymackeral for me?"
Althea says, "doubtful"
Kira says, "I've only found hops twice"
Shadowmutt growls, "Woof!"
Rieger says, "It's all Aki's fault prolly"
Paramedic says, "Wow"
Lorikeet says, "I found hops once"
Shadowmutt growls, "Grrr."
Althea says, "Naw, its Malkor's"
(Neige blames Salandra and Malkor.)
Rieger asks, "and Neige?"
Paramedic says, "So the ad should say that you are seeking hops, and
explain the background (Chum may be hogging them?)"
Xepel is no longer Clanning.
Kira asks, "what about Neige?"
Rieger says, "He's to blame"
Paramedic says, "Sounds like Chum"
Gimli says, "I leave the wording to your editorial expertise."
Paramedic says, "Ok. I'll make up a nice ad"

#####
EXILES ON THE MOVE

Luthic Darkus, one of the founding members of ThoomCare, has left
Puddleby for an extended trip back to the mainland. He's not sure if he
will return. The members of ThoomCare wish him well and hope that we
see him again soon.

Zwei the Fen, a long-time resident of Puddleby, has left exile and will
not be returning. Zwei was instrumental in helping to establish the
community of Puddleby and she will be missed. Some say she lives on in
another realm and in another form.

Neige the Mystic has left Puddleby due to serious disagreements with
the way the mystic guild is operated. More than fifty exiles gathered
in town to hear his farewell speech.

The following two exiles are missing in action:
Crippler (ThoomCare member and Senior Reporter of Fishwrap)
Dances with Trools (Thoomcare Consulting Physician)
Does anyone have any clue as to their whereabouts?

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

http://www.thoomworld.com/

A directory and enchanted mail service for Thooms

Sixteen Thooms in the directory and more are signing up all the time!

Best Thoomish Regards to all of you!

- Kalthax Thoom

#####
CLAN PROFILE: DORFCARE?
BY CHARLOS

DorfCare?

Origins:
DorfCare? was founded not too long ago by Aries, my dearly departed
(and slightly retarded) cousin Rondel, and me, cuz we were drunk and
had nuthin' better to do than steal someone else's idea.

As most of you know, clans are outlawed by Mobius. But we're not a clan
just a bunch of idiots who yell at each other and start drunken brawls.

Clan principles:
These are our clan objectives:
- To one day trick someone into giving us those non-clannar
affiliations badges.
- To protect Puddleby and its beer.
- To contain the spread of sobriety and other dumbstuff.
- To promote general Dorfness.

The basic principle of DorfCare? is to defend our beer and improve
Puddleby's appreciation of Drunken Brawlin'. We do this through active
threats as well as cultural and social pursuits.

The following are clan virtues that each member should embrace:
Drunkeness, Heresy, Unspellingness, Money, Bipolarity, and Depravity

We are a pseudo-anarchist/pre-anachronistic/semi-nudist/bicamerally-
parliamentarized clan ruled by a council of any given member at any
given time. We hold elections for each post on a surprise basis, and
any active member can bully any other member out of their office. Each
council seat has certain duties.

The DrunkenMaster represents the loudmouth voices of the clan to which
ever of the councilmembers may be listening.

The KegMaster represents the clan to other clans and the general
populace of Puddleby.

The Sniveling Spy coordinates the clan's information gathering efforts.

The Drunken Brawler organizes the clan's defense of the beer and the
clan itself.

And finally the Sleeping Drunkard recovers from last night's
debauchery.

Events:
We hold many events in Puddleby and the surrounding areas. Every time
we get together most folks run away. The hunt gathers wherever there's
a rank to whore, a beer to guzzle, or a brawl to engage in.

We are not members of the Dun'islar clan completions.
We get laughed at if we tried to join.

Members:
Our clan roster currently has maybe 6 active members if we're lucky and
get a few folks drunk. We are proud to claim that one or two of the
most infamous and rowdy exiles in the lands have at one time or another
yelled: "DorfCare?!! It's gettin ugly and we just got here!"

Future plans:
We are always looking for new ranks to whore and intoxicants to
discover.
Currently we are trying to regain access to the murky depths of our
decrepid souls.

#####
VAGILE PASSES FOURTH CIRCLE TEST
BY VAGILE

Vagile passed 4th circle test!

Vagile quickly dispatched the greater wraith, ran to the other side of
the room and whacked the green noid until it broke. Then it was Vagile
on high yellow vs. the fury. Vagile called it names, poked it in the
eye and started dancing. Eventually the fury was on yellow and Vagile
was on yellow. Then the fury was on red and Vagile was on yellow. And
Vagile thought for the first time in her life she might pass the test.

Vagile swung mightily at the fury's legs and kneecapped it. Poked it in
the eye. Taunted it severely a final time and then delivered the coup
de grace.

Vagile: So, Vagile how do you feel now that Vagile has finally passed
the 4th circle test?

Vagile: Vagile's careful Vagile-training made all the difference.

Vagile: How so?

Vagile: Vagile applied advanced Vagile-fibbing techniques. Vagile
yelled "Look there!" and when the fury turned around to see what Vagile
was talking about, Vagile hit it by surprise.

Vagile: So you would recommend Vagile-training then?

Vagile: Only if people want to learn something useful, not like what
Evus teaches.

Vagile: What plans do you have now as Puddleby's newest fourth circle
fighter?

Vagile: Vagile is going to kick Evus with Vagile's fourth circle boots
until Evus gives Vagile a book.

Vagile: Congratulations, Vagile.

Vagile: Thank you, Vagile.

#####
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT

Thalion and Luna happily announce their wedding.

Invitations can be found at:
http://www.geocities.com/lunachatskyclad/weddinginvitation.html

Please R.S.V.P, as the event will be fully catered by Chef Jinx. The
couple are not registered, but will accept gifts in the form of
ingredients or refreshments for the reception. See Jinx for details.
Also, no music accompaniment has yet been arranged. Interested bards,
please contact Luna for information.

Everyone is invited to attend this blessed event.

- Thalion and Luna

#####
EXILE PROFILE: SUM THE THOOM

Greetings, all!

I am called Sum. I am a recent exile, who once was a monk. I lived in
the Damp Dragon Dojo, high in the thoomy mountains. I spent my life
doing everything, but especially eating fish. I am sure that many of
you know the joys of eating fish. Raw, cooked, filleted, grilled,
broiled, boiled, and, mainly, eaten!

In this land, I have discovered a few things. One of those things is
that you can get fish thrown at you! Yes! In the fairgrounds, there is
a place where, upon signalling with a gong, a fish is lobbed at you!
What a wonderful thing! At first glance, that is ...

I currently possess Arachnoid Teeth, a Bottle of Water, a Bundle of
Wheat, Maha's Claws, a Pretzel, and Tangle Taffy. All of these things
are foody. And yet, when I am pelted with a fish, where is it? I have
none! This is frustrating! I need a fish! Sure, having fish hucked at
you is a pleasure in and of itself ... but what about eating them?

I have been idle for too long. Please do something to avoid being
disconnected.

G'night!

- Sum

#####
TRAVEL SECTION
BY YOR THE ZO

Strim all,

Darkhorse is forming a new exploration group called The Lok'Groton
Islands' Foundation for Exploration (LIFE).  This will be a hardcore,
committed exploration group that hopes to unravel the mysteries behind
primarily the Foothills, but also Umbrion's Island, The Ethereal Plane,
and any other major quest that may come along.

If you have any interest in this type of thing I implore you to read
the group's "Manifesto" at:

http://www.sundragonclan.com/yor/life.html

If after reading the Manifesto you are still interested and can meet
the requirements then follow the directions and email the address at
the bottom of the Manifesto.  Graha.

- Yor

#####
WINDY CHRONICLES
NEWS AND INFORMATION FROM WINDS OF DAWN CLAN

Get toggle locating tips:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/togglelocate.html

Info and events for new exiles:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/newexilehelp.html

Kiriel D'Sol is conducting free tours of Devil's Island for those
intersted in sightseeing and exploration.


#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

How come I never get interviewed for the magazine?

- Mr. Lonely

A: Mr. Lonely,

You might want to join a clan and get out of the library more often.

---

Q: Dear Doctor Thoom:

I like grape juice.

- Mister Foofy

A: Dear Mister, uhm, "Foofy",

Funny, your handwriting looks just like that of Mr. Lonely. And you
might want to cut back a bit on the fermented grape juice, buster.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

What do the sparkles mean in the marsh?

- Baffette

A: Dear Baffette:

In Mr. Foofy's case, they mean he's had a bit too much of that grape
juice.

---

Q. Dear Mr. Thoom:

How many thooms would thoom thoomlings if thooms could thoom
thoomlings?

- Zhirem

A. Dear Zhirem:

Thoom thoom thoom thoom thoom thoom, thoom thoom; thoom thoom thoom.

---

Q: Hey, Mr. Thoom:

As I am trained in the use of the metal bracers, I was quite happy to
be able to, once and for all, discard my weapon, so that all exiles can
now see no trace of it! I have since noticed many other exiles fighting
apparently weaponless. Yet, when I looked closely, I noticed that they
did indeed have an axe or a dagger or some other weapon in their hands.
What gives?

- Suit-Tie

A: Dear Mr. Suit-Tie:

Well, I can't speak for the other races, but that object in the belt of
Thooms is actually a wooden spoon. We tend to pack a lunch.

---

Q: Urm, Paramedic,

Some of your Thoom friends intimidated me into giving them an old tuna
sandwich they smelled in my coat pocket.

- Malkor

A: Dear Malkor:

You got off lucky.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

We are full pathfinders. Some paths we used to be able to open we
cannot open anymore. We don't understand this, because it seems to be
beyond reason or natural law. It seems to call into question the entire
function and principles of pathfinding.

- Korileet and Fisher

A: Oh, don't even get me started.

#####
EXILE POETRY
HAIKU BY SUM

I once had a fish.
It was raw, and real yummy.
Now it is all gone.

Slip'ry in the sun,
And graceful in the water.
Gulp! Down my gullet!

Mountain shines with rain.
Waves of grass in the valley.
My silence: World's Voice.

Meditating; whole.
Black hawk painting the white clouds.
Crap! I'm low on fish.

I found a gold carp.
Sunshine pure, grace beneath waves.
Quick! Repair the net!

Exploring new lands.
Finding new friends, and fish!
Hearken! Rats go 'SQUEE!'

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Shaved Fen: The Hidden Shame"
Pathfinding Survey by Odesseus
"Who's Your Daddy?" by Papa Thoom
"How to Crack Your Togron Nuts"
"Is That an Anchor in Your Pocket?" by Vagile
"I Can't Believe You Just Called Me a Crouton" by Malkor
Prue's Garage Sale: Half off all halflings. Literally.
"Guide to Reattaching Severed Fen Tails" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

I was a sailor, I was lost at sea
I was under the waves before love rescued me

- U2

It's time to prepare the next issue of Fishwrap.

If you have any announcements, interviews, clan profiles,
advertisements or articles, now is the time to let me know.

Thanks and I hope to get a bunch of stuff

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Scratch and sniff here for authentic fishy smell"

Issue #40: "Potion Commotion"
[June 26, 2001]
Circulation: 158

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Mac-arena: The finest macros in town are at CheaCrets Clan Lord!
   http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/
* Clan Pogue Mahone
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lundar the Mystic
   http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/
* Tarf the Dwarf, for the Volympics Survey
   http://www.cet.com/~tarf/VolympicsSurvey/
* Thoom Mailing List: Thoom- and ThoomCare-related information and
discussions
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Vata the Thoom, ThoomCare member, is now a Third Circle healer
* Lilly, Winds of Dawn member, is now a Third Circle healer
* Delirium, Winds of Dawn member, is now a full pathfinder
* New potion vendor creates uproar in Puddleby
* Breaking news: Atkus and Detha may not be missing, just wandering
* New Fifth and Sixth Circle tests for fighters
* Tyking II sells Sword of Souls
* Crippler the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter,
remains missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Mar Solkin and his advanced healing potion
* The Winds of Dawn potion fund
* Whiffing the sun wyrm
* New fighter tests
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Rising Claw in Sasquatch Valley
* New underground passage located on Kismia's Island
* The Drake Den on Fire Island
* Atkus and Detha leave fighter temple to raise funds to pay Mar Solkin
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary
* A rescue on Tenebrion's Island
* Prue doing that evil witchy thing
* Failed full moon Orga Camp raid
* Slyphonics concert
* Storoenna stores a comma
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Lundar's Library
* The Drake Den
* The Mystery of Kizmia's Isle
* Salandra advanced to Mystic
* Trouble on Tenebrion's Isle
for more information on the above stories, see Lundar's Library
   http://ferindril.dhs.org/lundar/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_060_14_16 on 60 Winter, 542 at 15:18..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Kojiro of karma bombing thereby hurting
my name..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_061_03_48 on 61 Winter, 542 at 4:36..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused The Clown of pulling people in town, bein
an annoyance..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 338 minutes in jail, 1114c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_064_20_33 on 64 Winter, 542 at 21:07..."
Clerus says, "Dragomir accused Savage of murder and mayhem..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_065_12_41 on 65 Winter, 542 at 13:38..."
Clerus says, "Michael accused Sir Adam of pushing exiles and just being
a snert..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 112 minutes in jail, 1113c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_083_03_47 on 83 Winter, 542 at 4:39..."
Clerus says, "Destian accused Mar Solkin of witholding information from
Puddleby..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 92 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_093_18_22 on 3 Spring, 542 at 19:12..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Aslan of disturbing the balance..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 196 minutes in jail, 1902c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_111_02_23 on 21 Spring, 542 at 3:06..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Darnok of intent to sue..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 95 minutes in jail, 448c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_111_04_01 on 21 Spring, 542 at 4:59..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Prue of helping Lilit excape justice..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_116_03_44 on 26 Spring, 542 at 4:46..."
Clerus says, "Sleipnir accused Prue of making Babajaga fail the
fighters' test..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_122_22_31 on 32 Spring, 542 at 23:39..."
Clerus says, "Tarfette accused Zaroff of abstructing peace in bard
field..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1112 minutes in jail, 14836c fine
and 0 days banished.""
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_142_19_14 on 52 Spring, 542 at 19:57..."
Clerus says, "Patch accused Prue of harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_147_10_02 on 57 Spring, 542 at 10:59..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Satan of overexposure and not seeking
proper therapy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 259 minutes in jail, 2527c fine
and 0 days banished.""
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_160_21_08 on 70 Spring, 542 at 21:58..."
Clerus says, "Luce accused Ziff Rengar of combat squabbling and failure
to pay reasonable fine..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 15 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished.
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_160_22_32 on 70 Spring, 542 at 23:24..."
Clerus says, "Nargoth accused Luce of refusing to pay reasonable
fine...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_162_23_37 on 73 Spring, 542 at 0:39..."
Clerus says, "Slyph accused Malkor of conning algernon into abusing
me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 166c fine and
0 days banished."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
PARAMEDIC TALKS WITH FROZEN SHADE

Paramedic says, "As you probably know, there are 5 questions to a
Fishwrap interview."
Frozen Shade is a Sylvan, is female, is a Fighter, and is wearing the
symbol of The Fellowship.
She is holding a gitor and a wooden shield.
(Revived from fate. Cursed to unfetter. Unscathed of light.)
Frozen Shade has 48 good and 3 bad karma.
Frozen Shade says, "Ask away"

The evil that orgas do

Paramedic says, "1) Let's start by asking you to tell our readers a
little about yourself"
Paramedic asks, "Who are you? And why are you in exile?"
Frozen Shade says, "Well, I came to the lands long ago due to a rumor
that my sister was here"
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "My first days here were rough...."
(Paramedic nods)
(Frozen Shade pulls some of her hair back, revealing a missing eye)
Paramedic exclaims, "Egad!"
(Frozen Shade growls slightly, glaring at her Orga Eye)
Paramedic asks, "Who did that to you?"
Paramedic asks, "an orga?"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes"
Frozen Shade says, "A magician I believe they are called"
Paramedic asks, "So life here has been rough for you?"
Frozen Shade says, "That was almost 13 years ago although"
Paramedic asks, "So you are a long-time resident of Puddleby, yes?"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes"
Paramedic says, "I can remember you from a long time ago"
Paramedic asks, "Did you ever find your sister?"
Frozen Shade says, "Oh yes +)"
Paramedic asks, "and your sister is....?"
Frozen Shade says, "Aeris"
Paramedic asks, "Is Aeris around here these days?"
(Frozen Shade nods)
Frozen Shade says, "I imagine she's working hard in the library right
now"
Paramedic asks, "She's the bookworm type?"
Frozen Shade says, "If you asked her, I would doubt she would think
so."
(Paramedic smiles)
Paramedic asks, "Why are you named "Frozen Shade"? It's an unusual
name."
Frozen Shade says,"I am from the clan Shade.... I don't remember my
name. Most of my memories from when I was a child was in a cold
cave.... frozen."
Frozen Shade says, "As I remember things from my past I do write them
down. But no one has seen my journal as of yet."
Paramedic says, "If you do make a journal available, be sure to let me
know"

The Fellowship

Paramedic asks, "2) Can you tell us a little about your clan, The
Fellowship?"
Frozen Shade says, "The Fellowship was here before I arrived"
Frozen Shade says, "Eli the Fox had founded it"
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "But since leaving the lands"
Frozen Shade says, "He gave me leadership over it ..."
Frozen Shade says, "But that did not last long"
Frozen Shade says, "As I left the lands as well, for a while"
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "Crunch has assumed leadership"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "Although, I still have an active role in any major
decision"
Paramedic asks, "Is it a large clan?"
Frozen Shade says, "No, not very"
Frozen Shade says, "It always has been small"
Frozen Shade says, "After the Ripture war, we had only but 4 members"
Paramedic asks, "Do the members ever have meetings? Or are you all
pretty much independent?"
Frozen Shade says, "Right now it is mostly independant"
Frozen Shade says, "I would say"
Frozen Shade says, "I am the most frequent member out of the library"
Paramedic asks, "Are you happy with the clan? Ever consider joining
another clan?"
Frozen Shade says, "Well... not very happy no"
Paramedic asks, "Oh?"
Frozen Shade says, "No one has asked, so I've never the chance to
consider other clans."
Frozen Shade says, "I still have responsibilities within The Fellowship
though. So it is doubtful I'd ever consider changing"
Paramedic asks, "Are there any clans you particularly admire?"
Frozen Shade says, "Well... nah, I'll leave that to myself +)"
(Paramedic smiles)
Frozen Shade says, "There is a clan I do greatly admire."
Frozen Shade says, "But we can leave it as that"
Paramedic says, "ok"
(Paramedic smiles)

Hitting the wraith

Paramedic asks, "3) What is your weapon of choice and why?"
Frozen Shade says, "My Greatsword"
Frozen Shade says, "As it helps me hit things... and for the price I
paid for it, it better be good."
Paramedic asks, "You prefer it to something like an axe?"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes"
Frozen Shade says, "I don't even have my axe anymore"
Paramedic asks, "What circle of fighter are you?"
Frozen Shade says, "3rd"
Paramedic asks, "Think you'll be making 4th anytime soon?"
Frozen Shade says, "yes"
Paramedic asks, "Getting close, huh?"
Frozen Shade says, "I cannot quite hit the greater wraith that well"
Paramedic says, "Those are pretty nasty."
Frozen Shade says, "But I believe I will be able to get very close once
I am able to hit that wraith more effectively"
Paramedic asks, "What are you training these days?"
Frozen Shade says, "Atkus"
Frozen Shade says, "But"
Frozen Shade says, "I do not like his teachings that much"
Frozen Shade says, "I hope to return to Evus soon"
Paramedic says, "I hear many are dissatisfied with Atkus"
Frozen Shade says, "He is too strict in his ways"
Frozen Shade says, "Evus has a different approach which I like"
(Paramedic nods.)

Frozen Shade's travels

Paramedic asks, "4) Where are your favorite hunting grounds?"
Frozen Shade says, "I like to travel with my sister to the lake, and
the plains above it"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "I do not hunt..."
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Frozen Shade says, "but I like to travel the tanglewood often"
Rael the Squonk says, "Meat is murder."
(Rael the Squonk licks his chops.)
Paramedic asks, "You don't hunt at all?"
Frozen Shade exclaims, "Oh I do!"
Frozen Shade says, "Just not in the tanglewood +)"
Paramedic says, "Ah I see."
Frozen Shade says, "I like to travel through the passes as well"
Paramedic asks, "How about the various islands, like Fire Island or
Kismia's Island...ever go there?"
Frozen Shade says, "I do travel to Kismia's isle more often than I
should"
Frozen Shade says, "It seems every few days I find myself there"
Paramedic asks, "You go there with large groups?"
(Frozen Shade nods)
Frozen Shade says, "Sometimes too large of ones"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of that place?"
Frozen Shade says, "It greatly depends on who is travelling with me"
Frozen Shade says, "I have had good and bad times there"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think Umbrion is a force for evil?"
Frozen Shade says, "Evil.... Well no, not evil"
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "That is a strong word"
Frozen Shade says, "I do believe him to be rash though"
Paramedic asks, "Should we be concerned he may try to harm Puddleby?"
Frozen Shade says, "As of right now, I wouldn't think that necessarily"
Frozen Shade says, "But who knows."
Paramedic asks, "How about Tenebrion?"
Frozen Shade says, "Tenebrion... I don't think he is as wise as his
brother."
Paramedic asks, "Oh really?"
Frozen Shade says, "But he does seem to think more lightly of other's
minds."
Frozen Shade says, "I did speak with Umbrion once"
Frozen Shade says, "while he was visiting his brother"
Paramedic asks, "Oh? what did he say?"
Frozen Shade says, "He was harsh at first. But then soothed his words"
Frozen Shade says, "I remember he did call me a beautiful sylvan"
(Frozen Shade blushes slightly)
Paramedic says, "He sounds insightful"
(Paramedic smiles)
Frozen Shade says, "Tenebrion and Umbrion do both look so much alike"
Frozen Shade says, "I mistook them when we first met"
Paramedic asks, "How do you think exiles should deal with Tenebrion and
Umbrion? Should we open negotiations?"
Frozen Shade says, "I think either of them could offer some knowledge"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "But I personally would rather like to know Umbrion"
Frozen Shade says, "He does seem more intelligent."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think they are reasonable men? Could we work
with them?"
Frozen Shade says, "It depends on who 'we' would be"
Frozen Shade says, "I could see them disliking one person... and
holding it against the whole town"
Paramedic says, "Indeed, they do tend to see us all as one sometimes"
Frozen Shade says, "I'm not sure if I were they, I would so easily want
to befriend this town."
Frozen Shade says, "But... as they do seem to dislike each other"
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "I think it would be better if we tried to talk with
Umbrion"
Frozen Shade says, "He doesn't seem so careless with... experiments"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I know what you mean."
Frozen Shade says, "And his knowledge with magic seems to be great"

Working together against the orga

Paramedic asks, "Have you been on the full moon orga camp raids??"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes, I have"
Paramedic asks, "how do you think those are going?"
Frozen Shade says, "I'm unsure if they should be called a raid..."
Paramedic asks, "why is that?"
Frozen Shade says, "I would more think of them as hunts to help
mystics"
Frozen Shade says, "As it seems to me, they are the only ones who
benefit from them"
Frozen Shade says, "I am glad to help"
Frozen Shade says, "But I don't think they are raids, in the usual
sense."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think progress is being made? Are the trips
worth it?"
Frozen Shade says, "I don't know of any trips that aren't worth it"
Frozen Shade says, "As we gain knowledge even from failure"
Frozen Shade says, "So, yes I think progress is being made"
Paramedic asks, "Do exiles seem to co-operate well there?"
Frozen Shade says, "For the people who show up to help"
Frozen Shade says, "I would say yes for the most part"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "But I have seen exiles well-known for their
leadership disagree with others of their like there."
Paramedic says, "I know there are often some hard feelings caused
during those expeditions"
Frozen Shade says, "yes"
Frozen Shade says, "The worst problem I see though, is that some exiles
are not aware of what it requires"
Paramedic asks, "so lack of knowledge about how to work together along
the way is a big problem?"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes, you could sum it up with that"
Frozen Shade says, "I consider myself patient for the most part. But I
get frustrated at the long pauses as well"
(Paramedic nods)

Pathfinding and Skea

Paramedic asks, "5) What monster do you dislike the most?"
Frozen Shade says, "The Orga Magician"
Paramedic exclaims, "Understandable!!"
Frozen Shade says, "I could even expand that to all Orga in general..."
Paramedic says, "Orga are so annoying and persistent"
Frozen Shade says, "I like to go to their camp"
Frozen Shade says, "Every so often"
Paramedic asks, "and attack them?"
Frozen Shade says, "And kill any presence there is of them"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "It gives me a sense of fulfilment when I do that"
Paramedic asks, "bonus question: how do you feel about pathfinding? Do
you have any of that skill?"
Frozen Shade says, "Pathfinding"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "I am no good at it"
Frozen Shade says, "I am good at remembering, but not looking so well"
Paramedic asks, "so you depend on others to help you get into certain
areas?"
Frozen Shade says, "Yes"
Frozen Shade says, "I remember where all the paths are I come accross"
Frozen Shade says, "but I can never seem to find them..."
Paramedic asks, "how about Skea?"
Frozen Shade says, "Skea"
(Paramedic nods)
Frozen Shade says, "Well"
Frozen Shade says, "I used to skin good"
Frozen Shade says, "But then one day"
Frozen Shade says, "I kept blundering with my knife"
Frozen Shade says, "And I still continue to"
Paramedic asks, "so you don't seem to be very good with skinning now?"
Frozen Shade exclaims, "I'm horrible now!"
Paramedic says, "oh no"
Paramedic says, "that's not good."
Frozen Shade says, "I even blunder on vermine all the time"
Frozen Shade says, "Guess my hands just aren't as good as they were a
few years ago."
Paramedic says, "Ok, it looks like we're coming to the end of the
interview"
Paramedic says, "As you may know, you now get to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE)
question"
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question, for the Thoom"
Frozen Shade says, "I supose it's not really a question..."
(Paramedic listens)
Frozen Shade says, "But I do find it remarkable that how you continue
to help those in need. As my earliest memories of this isle, you've
been helping those."
Frozen Shade asks, "If you need a question... What drives you so?"
Paramedic says, "That's a good question."
Paramedic says, "I think what keeps me going these days is the
continued committment of the many Thooms in my clan."
Paramedic says, "And the way that projects like the South Forest
hospital have worked out so well keeps me going, even on the tougher
days."
Frozen Shade says, "I have visited the hospital before"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "The South Forest one is not as busy as it used to be,
but the NWF one is often busy now."
(Frozen Shade nods)
Frozen Shade says, "I don't find myself up there often... very rarely
in fact"
Paramedic says, "I don't think I have seen you up there, actually"
Paramedic says, "It's interesting how people seem to settle into
different areas to spend their time"
(Frozen Shade nods)
Frozen Shade says, "I am usually to the east of this isle, or not even
on the isle itself"
Paramedic says, "Yes, exactly. I even associate you with those areas,
while I tend to be more of a south and north forest sort of exile"
Paramedic says, "Thanks, Frozen, for an excellent interview. I'm
looking forward to getting this out to my readers."
(Frozen Shade smiles softly)

#####
From the Fen News Bureau
by Jeanne

The Fighter Guild has recently been shocked with the departure of not
only Atkus but Detha as well. I did not see them leave myself but I
have heard from others that they are collecting money for the
production of a new potion. A potion that is reputedly far more
powerful than any we have currently. However, when the potion was
demonstrated, it appeared to be no more stronger than the Red Potion
curently in limited use. Considering that the going price for this new
potion is approximately 90,000 coins, the only reason many have in
donating their coins is to get the two trainers back.

---

I was fortunate enough to see Atkus in town discussing the current Mar
Solkin situation with many exiles in town. Most agreed that Mar Solkin
could not be trusted because he won't tell us how much he has collected
so far. An idea was brought forth that an exile should hold the money
with several discussions springing up about who the most trustworthy
exile was. Then Mario OneEye suggested that a potion clan be started to
hold the money, which got some support. It was doubtful that any
agreement could be reached until Kiriel D'Sol came forward with the
news that the Winds of Dawn keeps track of the transactions in their
clan account. Both the clan and the exiles who could withdraw from the
account were approved by the exiles present to be the clan in charge of
the potion fund. Kiriel D'Sol made a web site to track these funds and
you can find it here:

http://www.windsofdawn.org/potionfund.html

Atkus agreed to inquire with Announcius to put this in the news and
Koppi will soon be spreading the word.

After this agreement was made, Atkus went with myself and a few others
for a short trek around the north forest and the new north forest area.
Atkus fights very well and someone said that he must have trained in
Darkus. Atkus replied that it was the result of his "deadly accuracy."
We made a few good coins, all of which went to the Potion Fund. Then
Atkus auctioned off his trusty short sword that has his name on it to
raise money. He was doubtful that it would sell for anything but, after
heavy bidding by Ippon and Gorvin, it went for 2000 coins to Gorvin.
Then Atkus left after saying "I will go and rest in the  Fighter's hall
for a while. I have to pack for the Foothills expedition." So while
Detha is still away from the Fighter's Hall, fighters can now find
Atkus in his usual position at least for a little while.

---

In my wanderings through the lands, I have sometimes wandered in the
temple dedicated to Gaia to see if their messages have changed to
perhaps having some useful information. I've thought of Earth or Gaia
as being the patron deity of fighters along with the Sun for the
mystics and the Moon for the healers. However, despite the worshippers
inside Gaia's temple saying that there are more followers every day, I
have never met any nor have I heard of their activities. Another
worshipper tells me that I have yet to prove myself (which is why I
can't go to the inner area), but I do not know how to go about proving
myself or even whether I want to.

Do you know of these patron deities and how to contact them? (I am not
just interested in Gaia but the Moon and the Sun as well.) Would you
like to be interviewed about your experiences for future publication in
the Fishwrap? If so, contact me at <jeanne@...>.

---

6/14/01 5:11:26p Jeanne asks, "I'm taking a poll for Fishwrap Magazine.
Would you mind answering a question?"
6/14/01 5:11:33p Jeanne asks, "What would you like to be built on the
location of the burned building where Arlyn Stonecutter used to be?"
6/14/01 5:11:47p Alexander says, "hat shop"
6/14/01 5:11:50p Alexander says, "hehe"
6/14/01 5:11:50p (Outcast winces)
6/14/01 5:11:56p (Jeanne takes notes)
6/14/01 5:11:57p Jeanne says, "thanks"

6/14/01 5:12:06p Jeanne says, "Outcast"
6/14/01 5:12:07p Jeanne asks, "I'm taking a poll for Fishwrap Magazine.
Would you mind answering a question?"
6/14/01 5:12:12p Outcast says, "sure"
6/14/01 5:12:14p Jeanne asks, "What would you like to be built on the
location of the burned building where Arlyn Stonecutter used to be?"
6/14/01 5:12:22p Outcast says, "Nothing, that building was in the way
of the route to the advanced library."
6/14/01 5:12:32p Jeanne asks, "So you want it to be grass?"
6/14/01 5:12:33p Outcast says, "Everytime I try to go to the advanced
library, I'd bump into that building"
6/14/01 5:12:42p Outcast says, "Yes, grass."
6/14/01 5:12:50p Jeanne says, "Okay, that will be reported."

6/14/01 5:14:08p Jeanne asks, "Org du Lac?"
6/14/01 5:14:10p Jeanne asks, "I'm taking a poll for Fishwrap Magazine.
Would you mind answering a question?"
6/14/01 5:14:17p Org du Lac exclaims, "Thoom!"
6/14/01 5:14:21p Org du Lac says, "I mean, uh, yes."
6/14/01 5:14:24p Jeanne exclaims, "Oh good!"
6/14/01 5:14:25p Jeanne asks, "What would you like to be built on the
location of the burned building where Arlyn Stonecutter used to be?"
6/14/01 5:14:39p Org du Lac asks, "Arlyn? Is that the place by the
library?"
6/14/01 5:14:43p Jeanne says, "Right"
6/14/01 5:14:44p (Org du Lac glances.)
6/14/01 5:14:48p Jeanne says, "The place where the grass is burned."
6/14/01 5:15:00p Org du Lac says, "Well, it was rather in the way some
times."
6/14/01 5:15:11p Org du Lac says, "It's nice to have the rubble
cleared."
6/14/01 5:15:19p Jeanne asks, "So you want to have it remain grass?"
6/14/01 5:15:25p (Org du Lac nods.)
6/14/01 5:15:30p Org du Lac exclaims, "reseed it!"
6/14/01 5:15:47p Org du Lac says, "Storage for another more advanced
library would be nice too ;)"
6/14/01 5:15:57p Jeanne asks, "You want a third library?"
6/14/01 5:16:02p Org du Lac says, "Sure."
6/14/01 5:16:07p Jeanne asks, "Isn't the most expensive library
expensive enough?"
6/14/01 5:16:08p Org du Lac says, "500c a week isn't all that steep ;)"
6/14/01 5:16:17p Org du Lac says, "Nah."

6/14/01 5:17:27p Jeanne asks, "I'm taking a poll for Fishwrap Magazine.
Would you mind answering a question?"
6/14/01 5:17:34p Raldin says, "yes"
6/14/01 5:17:36p Jeanne asks, "What would you like to be built on the
location of the burned building where Arlyn Stonecutter used to be?"
6/14/01 5:17:47p Raldin says, "a money machine"
6/14/01 5:17:56p Jeanne asks, "money machine?"
6/14/01 5:17:59p Jeanne asks, "What is that?"
6/14/01 5:18:01p Org du Lac exclaims, "a money tree!"
6/14/01 5:18:05p Raldin says, "yes that makes coins magically"
6/14/01 5:18:15p Jeanne asks, "who will it give the coins too?"
6/14/01 5:18:19p Org du Lac exclaims, "Mystics!"
6/14/01 5:18:22p Raldin says, "me, mainly"
6/14/01 5:18:34p Raldin says, "errr I suppose other mystics too"
6/14/01 5:18:38p Jeanne says, "I think that a certain mystic isn't
taking this poll question seriously."
6/14/01 5:18:41p (Org du Lac chuckles.)
6/14/01 5:18:53p Raldin says, "uhm I'd like that spot free actually"
6/14/01 5:19:04p Jeanne asks, "Okay, you want it to remain green?"
6/14/01 5:19:10p Raldin says, "nice to to hit yer face on a building
when you run out of lib"
6/14/01 5:19:40p Raldin says, "but if they MUST put something in a
money machine or tree is good,"

6/14/01 5:20:51p Jeanne says, "Answer away"
6/14/01 5:20:53p V'ree says, "A supply shop that sells items that can
be found in the wild (rocks, logs, metal, ulis, spores, other stuff)
for outrageous prices so people never buy anything from there."
6/14/01 5:21:22p V'ree says, "So if people really really need
something, and no one is selling, they can spend more and buy it there"
6/14/01 5:21:22p Jeanne says, "Like a gift shop but that sells things
that are useful."
6/14/01 5:21:27p V'ree says, "Right"
6/14/01 5:21:47p V'ree says, "Maybe empty barrels, and ingredients too"
6/14/01 5:21:53p Jeanne says, "Okay, I'll report your opinion in the
next Fishwrap."

6/14/01 5:26:58p Jeanne says, "Eek"
6/14/01 5:26:59p Jeanne asks, "I'm taking a poll for Fishwrap Magazine.
Would you mind answering a question?"
6/14/01 5:27:09p Eek says, "No, go ahead"
6/14/01 5:27:11p Jeanne asks, "What would you like to be built on the
location of the burned building where Arlyn Stonecutter used to be?"
6/14/01 5:28:48p Eek exclaims, "I'd have to say.....uh......a pawn
shop!"
6/14/01 5:28:54p Eek exclaims, "Buy and sell used goods!"


#####
OUR COLLAPSING ISLAND?
BY ALIAS

Weeks ago, a landfall opened a pit in town leading directly to the home
of the myrm queen, then mysteriously was sealed.

Last week, the thin sand above the meshra lair gave way in the south
field. Again, this was mysteriously sealed.

As the dwarves tunnel further and further under Puddleby itself, are we
making the very ground we live on unstable? They've linked their
mysterious tunnels to the two places where many undine are seen, are
the Dwarves under the town secretly in league with them? Just what is
this mysterious guild under construction below? Who is mysteriously
sealing these breaches from below?

Many many questions of a disturbing nature remain unanswered... yet
still we give wood, stones, metal and money towards the expansion of
the tunnels with the  dubious intention of allowing faster access
around the island. Now, I don't know about you, but I've rarely been in
a cavern in Puddleby which has allowed faster access from one point to
another, but I may be the exception. I shan't enter into how much of
our power in the land is derived from the sun and the moon, both of
which are only seen from above ground.

Personally, I dread the day that what little culture and industry we've
managed to rebuild from that lost on the mainland is swallowed as the
tunnels underground reach the sea... and the entirety of town  (which
is riddled with tunnels from dwarves, guilds, pubs and other things
now) becomes a new Atlantis... lost beneath the waves.

Puddlebeans, look to what is below and think before you donate. That,
or start investing in the Puddleby Navy.

alias...

#####
FMOCR REPORT
BY NYSSA

The raid last full Moon was not successful in reaching the 4th orga
camp. At least no one departed, although several spent quite a long
time fallen in the 3rd orga camp.

The door to the 2nd camp has apparently started to move about again.
For many Moons, it had seemed to remain in the bushes lining the south
end of the 1st orga camp. On this latest occasion, it was found in both
of the two trees NE of that spot at different times.

I remind anyone who might be looking that the door to OC2 has also been
found rarely in a spot in the bushes a little west of the long-time
location. Also a longer time ago, the door was found a little south of
the path to the snaggy wood.

The mystic door to the 3rd orga camp apparently remains on the east
border of the 2nd camp, north of the tree line that is just north of
the hidden path to the 3rd camp. The path remains the most convenient
and tactically viable way to the 3rd camp.

We never were able to open the door to the 4th camp, and Malkor said
that the same was true the Moon before that. There are many illusions
in the SE quadrant of the third camp. The locations of all that I
recall except one were illuminated at times during the raid by
"sparkles" visible to  many exiles, including the place where the door
had been apparently stationary for many Moons.  The remaining place was
on the west side of the area in the SE of the camp. I believe that I
saw a very brief "sparkle" there, but only once. It seems that when
sparkles are visible to non-mystics, the doors there always lead only
to other places in the same camp.

In the Moons before the doors apparently became stationary for a long
period, they were observed to move on the strike of the hour. The
behaviour seemed random in that a working door might stay in the same
place, move to another, or close for an hour in an unpredictable way.
The door in the 1st camp seemed to follow something like this pattern,
although I did not note the times, and we never seemed to lose it for
long.

This behaviour tends to give me some hope that we were only unlucky,
and that the doors may be more accessible on the next Moon. The results
of this raid were certainly discouraging, but I, at least, intend to
try once again upon the next full Moon. The full Moon day still will
occur at a time when many exiles should be able to help. I shall hope
to see you there.

#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Would you tell us about the process of Thoom reproduction?

      GrayGradient

A: Mr. Gradient,

I can tell you that water and chocolate are involved. If I told you any
more, I would have to kill you.

---

Q: Hey Mr. Thoom:

Are Fens flammable?

      Diff

A: Dear Diff,

It depends how close to the fire you put them.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Is there a way to keep the blood off my clothes?

      Kalle'

A: Dear Kalle':

Maybe you could try a Thoom-like robe.

---

Q. Dear Mr. Thoom:

How does ThoomCare coordinate benefits with my other insurance plan?

      Mancks

A. Dear Mancks:

ThoomCare reviews each member file and determines if it is the primary
insurer or the secondary insurer for each family member. Before
ThoomCare can coordinate benefits as a secondary insurer, the member
must submit a copy of the Explanation of Benefits (EOB) from the
primary insurance plan. This is the member's responsibility.

When the EOB is received at ThoomCare, the allowable expenses are
determined based on the total amount billed. In addition, ThoomCare
will determine whether the services are covered by the Member's
Certificate of Coverage. In some rare instances, the member may still
have some out-of-pocket expenses after both insurance plans have
coordinated benefits. In these cases, the Puddleby branch of ThoomCare
will cover the difference through an internal insurance program. Be
sure to present your ThoomCare healer with Form 673E to document any
such out-of-pocket expenses.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Slyphonics Unplugged" by Sleipnir the Knight
Pathfinding Survey by Odesseus

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/


"Then you too have to deal with Storoenna. She is again insisting I
have a , in there. The nerve! What is a , anyway? And why does she
always insist I have one? What does it do? The Knight suggested it
might be a poisonous sword. An invisible one. Hope Storoenna
accidentally trips and stabs herself."

  - Babajaga

So far no clans have submitted a clan profile for the upcoming issue.
In fact, except for Jeanne, no one has submitted anything (is there
any news out there?)...

Para
Publisher, Fishwrap Magazine
Founder, ThoomCare

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the fishwrapmagazine
group.

   File        : /Misc/etherealbubbles.gif
   Uploaded by : mikeswanson_98@...
   Description : Ethereal bubbles and portals in town

You can access this file at the URL

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To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

mikeswanson_98@...

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Published irregularly at Paramedic's whim"

Issue #39: "The Togron Nut"
[May 28, 2001]
Circulation: 159

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Tarf the Dwarf, for the Volympics Survey
   http://www.cet.com/~tarf/VolympicsSurvey/
* Thoom Mailing List: Thoom- and ThoomCare-related information and
discussions
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Phroon the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
   http://homepage.mac.com/phroon/
* Domino the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
* ThoomCare is opening a third hospital, in Sasquatch Valley
* Crippler the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter,
remains missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm explores Sasquatch Valley
* Battle with the bugs on Umbrion's Island
* Alchemy bowl madness has gripped the town of Puddleby
* Algernon in jail
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Adventures in Sasquatch Valley
* Potion vendor Mar Solkin settles in Puddleby
* Pottery shop opens in town
* New mystic pub
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Darshak invasion
* Qual gets frightened
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_008_17_20 on 8 Winter, 542 at 18:22..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Savage of attempted murder..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 100 minutes in jail, 0c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_009_02_40 on 9 Winter, 542 at 3:27..."
Clerus says, "The Clown accused Algernon of (I'm rescuing him from the
Tor Inn)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 555 minutes in jail, 4161c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_012_12_42 on 12 Winter, 542 at 13:43..."
Clerus says, "Robin accused Icy of share-toggling nonstop..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_017_06_33 on 17 Winter, 542 at 7:19..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Natas of wearing an impolite tattoo..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 86 minutes in jail, 437c fine
and 0 days banished."


Election results:
#187: Would you like a gardening-type shop selling: kudzu, berries,
spores etc. at higher prices than they go for in sunstone auctions?
17 (24%): Yes, that's a good idea; I want to buy zu not farm 'em
13 (18%): No, I'm happy spending hours aimlessly running through
Tanglewood looking for orgaberries
33 (46%): Maybe, but prices need to be sorted out to be fair
6 (8%): None of the above
2 (3%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Mujin-kun, Puffy, Thuja,
Sai, and Kanna."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Icy, Algernon, Felicity,
Janus, and Speedier."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
PARAMEDIC TALKS WITH DEADMEAT, PUDDLEBY'S FAVORITE UNDINE

This month's feature interview is a fascinating discussion with
Deadmeat, your friendly neighborhood undine. This exclusive interview
will help to answer many of the questions citizens of Puddleby have
about this prominent public figure.

WAITING FOR UNDINE

Deadmeat thinks to you, "Hang on, about to assist on a rescue in Orga
Camp. I'll be in town as soon as I can."
You think to Deadmeat, "great"
You concentrate on sending your message to Deadmeat.
Snow says, "Hey Para"
(Paramedic is here for a Fishwrap interview)
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)
(Coriakin looks around for someone newsworthy)
Paramedic says, "Deadmeat is the interviewee."
(Coriakin nods)
Coriakin says, "Aye, he's newsworthy."
Paramedic says, "Indeed."
Coriakin says, "But not around."
Paramedic says, "He's on his way."
K'Pyn thinks, "ok, what's a "togron nut"?"
Coriakin thinks, "I don't know, but if it's a bard part, I want it ;)"
K'Pyn thinks, "lol"
Paramedic thinks, "I had to have my togron nut tightened a few months
back"
K'Pyn thinks, "oh suuuure you did Para... suuuure you did."
Snow thinks, "Too much information, Para"
Paramedic thinks, "It's an outpatient procedure"
Snow ponders, "ranky!"
(Phineas sniffs his underarm.)
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
(Phineas looks vaguely around.)
Phineas ponders, "Snow is right!"
(Phineas frowns.)
(Paramedic hands Phineas some deodorant)
Phineas says, "Ah! thanks."
(Phineas spills it.)
Phineas ponders, "Oops."
(Phineas fills the bottle with puddle water and returns it to
Paramedic)
Phineas says, "Er, thanks, Para."
Paramedic says, "Oh you can keep it, Phineas"
Phineas exclaims, "Ah! Thanks!"
Snow says, "Para"
(Paramedic is waiting for undine...)
Snow asks, "Can I ask you a quick question?"
Paramedic says, "Sure, Snow"
Snow says, "Merlisk is so mad he's not speaking to me..."
Paramedic exclaims, "Hm!"
Paramedic says, "Merlisk is usually quite even-tempered."
Snow says, "Yeah"
Paramedic says, "How unusual"
Paramedic asks, "Why is he mad?"
Snow says, "I think I must have offended him on some cultural level"
Snow says, "Well..."
Paramedic asks, "Did you yank his throatsac?"
(Snow chuckles.)
Snow ponders, "Not recently"
Paramedic says, "Ah."
Snow says, "He hasn't told me, but I have heard."
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Snow says, "Heya Meaty"
Deadmeat says, "Hi, sorry about the wait"
Paramedic says, "Hi Deadmeat"
Snow says, "It can wait, Para"
Paramedic says, "that's ok"
Snow says, "Go ahead with Meaty"
Phineas says, "Ah! Hello, Deadmeat."
Paramedic says, "sure? go ahead"
Deadmeat asks, "Oh, whoops, was I interrupting something?"
Paramedic says, "no not at all"
Snow says, "Nah, just do yer interview. I got things to puzzle."
Deadmeat ponders, "It might take a while."
Paramedic says, "Ok."

UNDINE OR HUMAN: THAT IS THE QUESTION

Algernon ponders, "It feels like it's 8:36 am on Gradi, Day 90 of
Autumn."
Paramedic says, "We're pleased to have Deadmeat here for a Fishwrap
feature interview"
Phineas exclaims, "Whoot!"
Paramedic says, "Welcome Deadmeat, it's a pleasure"
(Phineas listens.)
Deadmeat says, "Thanks Paramedic. I'm pleased to be here."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Paramedic says, "Let's get started."
Paramedic asks, "Can you tell us a bit about yourself? You're an
undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, well, that's one of the things I wanted to clear
up."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat asks, "When you look at me, I mean, really look at me, what do
you see?"
Paramedic says, "Well, you're green and a bit messy"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes, that's on the outside. But on the inside..."
Deadmeat ponders, "/info me"
Deadmeat is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of GDI.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(Puddleby's favorite undine.  Member of the Catenae.)
(Phineas looks.)
Deadmeat says, "I'm afraid that I'm actually human."
Paramedic says, "You appear to be Puddleby's favorite undine"
(Snow gasps)
Paramedic says, "yet you also seem to be human"
Deadmeat says, "Yeah, all part of the illusion, I'm afraid."
Paramedic says, "it's a contradiction"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Deadmeat says, "You see, I was born a human"
(Paramedic listens)
Deadmeat says, "but I have found more acceptance here in Puddleby by
pretending to be an undine."
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Deadmeat says, "It's kind of hard to explain, but if you ever saw me
without my, er, costume, maybe you'd understand."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't really consider yourself undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, at this point..."
Deadmeat says, "I've been visiting the wraith for so long that I feel
that most of Puddleby accepts me as an undine"
Deadmeat says, "so I do consider myself an undine in that way."
Paramedic asks, "Are you comfortable with this arrangement?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes. Yes, I am."
Deadmeat says, "And here's why."
Deadmeat says, "Right now, when people see me in town, or out in the
forests,"
Deadmeat says, "the typical reaction is, 'Hey, there's Deadmeat, the
undine.'"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Deadmeat says, "But if you ever saw me in human form,"
Deadmeat says, "the typical reaction would be"
Deadmeat exclaims, "'OH GAIA! What happened to your FACE!?!?!'"
Deadmeat says, "'What kind of horrible accident were you in?'"
Deadmeat says, "So..."
Deadmeat says, "I have found that by visiting the wraith who disguises
me as an undine"
Deadmeat says, "fewer people run screaming in fear from me."
Deadmeat asks, "Kind of ironic, eh?"
Paramedic asks, "So in other words, being undine has become an
essential part of your identity?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I believe it has."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think your human self is somehow offputting to
others?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes, it is. Becoming an undine has improved my
social life quite a lot."
Paramedic says, "You do seem to have found wide acceptance in
Puddleby."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, and I'm grateful that Puddleby is such an
accepting society. But, I believe it is a lot easier to accept an
undine than a horribly ugly human."
Paramedic asks, "Are you sure you are really ugly or is it that people
are just accustomed to your undine appearance?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I try not to let people see me as a human..."
Deadmeat ponders, "thank goodness that we have cloaks now!"
Deadmeat says, "but believe me, the undine look is a definite
improvement."
Paramedic says, "You do a good job; I have only seen you as human maybe
once or twice at most"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I used to have a real problem on the other
islands."
(Paramedic nods)

HANGIN' WITH UNDINE

Paramedic asks, "Have you developed any contacts with the other
undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes"
Paramedic asks, "Oh really?"
Deadmeat says, "Some of the other undine have accepted me as one of
their own."
Deadmeat says, "The wraith who lives under the hut, for example..."
Paramedic asks, "So what do you think of them?"
Deadmeat says, "I have a very close working relationship with him."
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Deadmeat says, "The rest of the undine? Most of them are mindless
beasts..."
Paramedic says, "That's unfortunate"
Deadmeat says, "but a few are worth hanging out with."
Deadmeat says, "The problem is that they usually get killed fairly
quickly by the other exiles."
Paramedic says, "Ah, so no time to develop those social ties"
Deadmeat says, "I don't blame the exiles, of course..."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "It's hard to tell the mindless beast undines from the
conversationalists."
Deadmeat ponders, "er, is that a word?"
Paramedic asks, "So what do you think of human-undine relations in
general? Are they getting worse? Better?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, we used to have a real problem in Lilit. But I
haven't seen her for quite some time."
Paramedic says, "Yes, she seems to have disappeared."
Paramedic asks, "Did you think Lilit was a force for evil or good?"
Deadmeat says, "That's an interesting question."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "I think that she had her beliefs, which were fine,
there's nothing wrong in holding those seances or whatever down in the
pit..."
Deadmeat says, "but for some reason, she was the candle and other
exiles were like moths to the flame."
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Deadmeat says, "People always fell during those rituals, and she would
interfere in the rescue."
Paramedic says, "Yes, that was very dangerous"
Deadmeat says, "Personally, I got along with her OK. I left her alone
when she had to do her thing..."
Deadmeat says, "but there always used to be problems when she was
around, and I think that all undines have gotten a bad name because of
it."
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Have any exiles expressed fear or concern about you
because you appear to be an undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, a few have, initially upon meeting me"
Deadmeat says, "but most people seem to be OK once they get to know me
a little."
Paramedic says, "That's interesting."
Nyika ponders, "Deadmeat is wonderful."
Deadmeat says, "Heh, I remember when a new exile saw me running over by
the docks, and yelled out 'ZOMBIE!'"
Deadmeat says, "I stopped and said "Yes?""
Paramedic says, "hahahaha"
Deadmeat says, "I think he was afraid I was going to hurt somebody."
Deadmeat says, "I get that a lot at the beginning, but it gets better
pretty fast."
Paramedic says, "I think it says a lot about the people of Puddleby
that you have encountered such acceptance."
Deadmeat says, "I totally agree."
Deadmeat says, "I really can't imagine what it would have been like if
I was still on the mainland."
Deadmeat ponders, "Well, no wraith there for one..."
Paramedic asks, "Did you come to exile voluntarily?"
Deadmeat says, "No, no, I was exiled for crimes against the Ascendancy,
just like most of us."
Paramedic says, "Ah I see."

SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY

Paramedic says, "Well, I think one of the reasons people think highly
of you is your devotion to community service."
Paramedic says, "Few do as much rescue work as you"
Tarf ponders, "Oh sure, I'm a scoundrel but he's dedicated to public
service!"
Deadmeat says, "Oh yes, I'm proud to serve the community. And I
appreciate being invited into the ThoomCare™ chain gang."
Deadmeat is a member in good standing in the following organizations:
ThoomCare™ Affiliates
Paramedic is the leader of ThoomCare™ Affiliates
Paramedic says, "We're proud to have you as a member of the ThoomCare™
Chain Gang, and your work there has always been outstanding"
Deadmeat says, "Thank you, Paramedic. That means a lot to me."
Paramedic says, "Let's move on to rescues then...."
Paramedic asks, "Where do you tend to do most rescues these days?"
Deadmeat says, "If I'm alone, I tend to wander the forests. Especially
the northwest forest."
Deadmeat says, "But mostly, I listen for rescue opportunities on the
sunstone network."
Paramedic says, "I tend to work NWF a lot also."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, it's a very popular place for both falling and
rescues."
Paramedic says, "The sunstone network is pretty much essential for
rescue work"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I really don't know how I lived before I got my
sunstone."
Paramedic says, "Me neither."

THE CHAINS THAT BIND

Paramedic asks, "Chains: how is your work with chains going?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I'm very proud of my work with chains in general,
and in the Catenae in particular."
Deadmeat says, "I have studied a great deal with Loovma Geer. I believe
I'm one of his better students."
Paramedic says, "The Catenae have been emerging as a significant
group."
Paramedic says, "I found that Loovma has really helped me keep my
chains intact for a long period."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, the Catenae has been a great advance for all of
the dedicated chainers in the lands."
Deadmeat says, "And as a fighter, I have found that I am easily able to
make enough money to afford to keep my chains maintained on those
unfortunate occasions when they break."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "As a rescue healer, I find a chain indispensable"
Deadmeat asks, "I'm kind of curious about that, actually. Do you mind
if I ask you about that, or should I wait until the end?"
Paramedic says, "Oh, go ahead"
Deadmeat says, "Well, as a fighter and a chainer, my choice is to,
well, fight or chain."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "And it's usually pretty clear which to do. If there
aren't so many beasts, I fight, and if there's too many, I chain."
Deadmeat asks, "How do you make the "heal or chain" decision?"
Paramedic says, "That's an interesting question."
Paramedic says, "I chain a lot more than most healers. Mainly because I
have a lot of training with Loovma, so I can take the risk of chain
breakage"
Deadmeat says, "I see. That makes sense."
Paramedic says, "I know many healers raise an eyebrow at how often I
chain. But..."
Paramedic says, "I'd rather chain the wounded to a hospital and heal
them there"
Paramedic says, "After all, that was part of my original reasoning
behind the founding of ThoomCare hospitals."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I've seen in Koric's journal where he is always
weighing the "heal or chain" decision..."
Deadmeat says, "I just wanted to get another healer and chainer's
opinion."
Paramedic says, "You'll notice in that same vein that I don't fall very
often."
Deadmeat says, "I have noticed that."
Paramedic says, "I'd rather use my chain and not worry about falling."
Paramedic says, "Also...."
Bones is now Clanning.
Paramedic says, "I don't have much Horus training, so chaining is often
a necessity for me"
Deadmeat says, "Ah, of course."
Deadmeat says, "If you can't raise them at all, you might as well take
them somewhere safe."
Paramedic says, "Exactly. I think for healers like Koric or Lorikeet
there is more of a sense..."
Paramedic says, "of challenge in terms of seeing if they have enough
Horus to raise someone."
Paramedic says, "My training hasn't stressed Horus."
Paramedic says, "I'm all about action. I like grabbing the wounded and
getting out of the danger zone."
Paramedic exclaims, "Greetings, Bones!"
Bones says, "I see that building outside the library had an 'accident'"
Bones ponders, "finally."
Paramedic says, "Yeah, there was an 'accident'"
Deadmeat ponders, "I've already forgotten, what building was that?"
Paramedic says, "The tunnel builder."
Deadmeat says, "Oh yeah. I guess since the tunnels got built, she
should have moved on a while back."
Paramedic asks, "Given the choice, Deadmeat, do you lean toward
chaining or fighting?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, it depends on the situation of course."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "If there's fur to be had and there's little danger of
me falling, I will fight"
Deadmeat says, "but if there's any danger at all, I am usually one of
the first to chain and run."
(Bones thooms.)
Paramedic says, "I enjoy chaining. I think there's some good strategy
to it if it is done well"
Deadmeat says, "Some of the chaining that I enjoy most are in the
massive raids"
Paramedic says, "Oh yes"
Deadmeat says, "when there are fallens everywhere, and a good chainer
is the only hope to save a bunch of people."
Paramedic says, "It's a rush to grab 3-10 people"
Deadmeat says, "Oh yes, I enjoy that very much."
Bones says, "Hey, Para"
Bones asks, "You think Fishwrap would sponsor a fish-eating contest?"
Paramedic says, "Certainly."
Bones says, "It would be a good promotion"
Paramedic says, "But we'd need fish."
Bones says, "true"
Bones says, "I think Pucker has fish."

AXE THE QUESTION

Paramedic says, "Let's move on to weapons...."
Paramedic asks, "What is your weapon of choice?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I spend most of my time with my trusty axe."
Deadmeat shows his axe to everyone.
Paramedic asks, "You like the powerful blunt blow of an axe?"
Deadmeat says, "I've found that it's the best weapon for most of the
situations that I find myself in."
Deadmeat says, "It does enough damage to kill things quickly, but it
doesn't weigh me down too much."
Paramedic asks, "Do you use a shield?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I almost always have my shield equipped."
Paramedic says, "Me too. I like mine a lot."
Romuli shows his cluster of togron nuts to everyone.
Paramedic says, "!!"
Deadmeat says, "I've gotten used to fighting with it, so now it feels
strange if I don't have it on while I'm fighting."
Paramedic asks, "While we're on this topic, what circle fighter are
you?"
Deadmeat says, "I'm a third circle fighter."
Deadmeat says, "It's been a few zodiacs since I passed the test."
Paramedic asks, "Think you'll make fourth soon?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I think that's pretty unlikely."
Deadmeat says, "I'm not training to pass the fourth circle test at the
moment, I'm trying to bulk up a little so I can survive more hits."
Paramedic says, "I know the feeling."

A LOOSELY-ORGANIZED CLAN

Paramedic asks, "Can you tell our readers a bit about your clan?"
Deadmeat says, "Well yes, I'd be happy to."
Deadmeat says, "I'm in the clan "GDI""
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "which stands for... well, it stands for whatever you
want it to stand for."
Paramedic asks, "Are you a close-knit clan?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I would say not."
Deadmeat says, "We like to think of ourselves as loners, rebels..."
Paramedic says, "Ahhh"
Deadmeat says, "We mainly joined the clan so that people will know if
we fall."
Deadmeat says, "And occasionally we get some clan experience, but
that's just a bonus."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't have clan meetings, etc.?"
Deadmeat says, "It's really not much of a clan, just a loose-knit
association of loners."
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Deadmeat says, "Well, we've officially defined a clan meeting as "any
time two or more clan members are on the same snell""
Paramedic says, "heh"
Deadmeat says, "So we have meetings occasionally."
Deadmeat says, "We've recently lost a lot of members to the new Clan of
the Purple Tor"
Deadmeat says, "which is pretty similar actually, from what I
understand -- no rules, no meetings, etc."
Paramedic says, "Yes, that clan seems to be expanding quickly right
now"
Deadmeat says, "but I'm sticking with GDI."

SIGHTSEEING

Paramedic asks, "Have you been on any of the expeditions to Umbrion's
Island or the Foothills?"
Deadmeat says, "I have not yet been to Umbrion's Island."
Deadmeat says, "I went to the foothills once."
Paramedic asks, "How did that go?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, it was OK. I guess it didn't really match up to
our expectations..."
Deadmeat says, "we all read in Lundar's and Koric's journals about how
they made thousands and thousands of coins"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes"
Deadmeat says, "so it seemed like all of Puddleby turned out for this
expedition a few weeks ago."
Paramedic says, "then the cash flow stopped..."
Deadmeat says, "And then when we got there, there were, well, lots of
midnight wendeckas, and their furs weren't worth as much..."
Paramedic says, "Alas"
Deadmeat says, "So I spent a few days there, and then I came home."
Paramedic asks, "did you make a decent amount?"
Deadmeat says, "Eh, a few hundred coins."
Paramedic says, "Ehh, not all that much"
Deadmeat says, "Not as much as I would have made if I had stayed around
here."
Deadmeat says, "But I'm not complaining. It was a valuable experience."
(Paramedic nods.)
Deadmeat says, "I got to hunt with some folks that I hadn't hunted with
before. And I saw some lands that I had never seen before. So it was a
worthwhile trip."
Paramedic says, "I hope we can find a library out there"
Deadmeat says, "Well, that would be kind of nice. It would really make
people feel safer about making the long trip there."
Paramedic says, "Indeed."

"BRAINS..."

Paramedic says, "Well, I think we're coming to the close of our
interview....before we get to your question for me..."
Paramedic asks, "do you have any other comments about undine for our
readers?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I don't think so. I think that for the most part,
the exile-undine relations are pretty much as expected..."
Deadmeat says, "and as long as most of them are mindless brutes who
want to suck our brains out and eat them, I am all in favor of killing
them when necessary."
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic says, "Well, as you know, at the end of a Fishwrap
interview...."
Paramedic says, "the person being interviewed gets to ask the Thoom 1
(ONE) question"
Paramedic says, "so you may now ask ONE (1) question."
Deadmeat says, "OK, I don't really have a good question to ask, so I'll
ask a lame one."
Paramedic says, "OK."
Deadmeat asks, "Have you ever visited the wraith under the hut, and if
so, why, and if not, why not?"
Deadmeat ponders, "Does that count as one question? It's more like
five."
Paramedic says, "That's a good question."
Paramedic says, "I have visited him, actually"
Paramedic says, "and I have taken on the appearance of an undine a few
times"
Paramedic says, "to get a sense of how the world looks through undine
eyes"
Paramedic says, "I found it to be a worthwhile experience."
Deadmeat says, "Well, that's good. I think that if more exiles do that,
we'll all come to a better understanding of the undine."
Paramedic says, "I think so too."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for a great interview, Deadmeat!"
You gave good karma to Deadmeat, Thooooom!!!
Deadmeat says, "Thanks for talking to me, Paramedic. I hope your
readers find it entertaining."
Paramedic says, "Oh they will."
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)
(Deadmeat waves)

#####
A BRIEF LIFE OF SUM
BY SUM THE THOOM

    Recently exiled, I washed up with few memories of my former life
intact. Without a past, a man - or a Thoom - has no future. Without
one's footsteps behind, one cannot know where to place one's footsteps
ahead. And yet this was not entirely bad. My lack of a reference point
allowed me to adapt to life on the islands fairly quickly. Indeed, many
things seemed most familiar. In time, I recalled the Zo friend of mine,
who had once sent me letters from these same islands. The sight of
Giant Vermine, and Undine, and Wendeckas brought to mind this now-
passed friend of mine, and I put his knowledge to use. Thus armed, I
have been learning much.

    More recently, however, I have begun to have more complete
recollections. Rather than somewhat troubling flashes of insight or
memory, arriving at random - and sometimes inopportune - intervals, I
have happened upon more solid memories, and these have come to me as
friends. They began with the most full remembrance to date. This
occured, oddly enough, whilest bathing. I had entered a nice and muddy
pond, having disrobed to the level of decency, and had begun to bathe
in the soft, cool mud, when a passer-by commented upon markings upon my
back. I rotated my eyes about in their soft sockets and looked. Sure
enough, the breadth of my back was covered with a large, circular
tattoo. As soon as my eyes fixed upon it, much memory returned to me.
It did not come back in flashes of vision or any such thing. I simply
remembered, as though I had never forgotton.

    The tattoo was, of course, the coiled sea serpent. This is the mon
of the Damp Dragon Dojo. In the homelands of my people, there remain a
few such organizations. Our kind has never been war-like, but there
have always been, nonetheless, those who study the arts of living as a
part of nature, with the elements of the world, and the art of motion.
These things lend themselves well to martial arts, as those whose lives
are devoted to the study of the world around us, and of our place
within it and as a part of it, do learn much control over their bodies,
and of the magics of motion.

    From what I can remember, I lived for many years - more than two
decades - at a mountain monastery. I alternated between training with
the masters in the temple, and in the dojo, and the solitary life of
reflection, meditation, and contemplation in the countless caves higher
up in the mountains. I cannot recall whether I was born in such a
temple, or was brought there when just a babe, or even if I sought it
out of my own accord. For the moment, all that I can recall includes
bits of the daily toil of life in the temple, training in the martial
arts in the dojo, and lifetimes of meditation upon mountains.

    I know the path that lies before me. My duty, my purpose, is to
found a sect of the Damp Dragon Dojo here, on the isles. I must find
those other Thooms who seek the way of unarmed combat, and who are
willing to learn. I must find them, and bring them together. I must
teach them what I can recall - which, at the current time, is limited
to but a few katas and standing forms, as well as some simple koans -
and learn what they, in turn, can teach. I realize that they are few,
in these islands - indeed, they were few even in the homelands - but
that is my path nonetheless. I am no master. I am a student, as are we
all, and have but incomplete recollection. However, I am patient, and
open to the world, and have nothing but optimism for the future.

    I hope that perhaps others of my kind will see a common bond, and
smile upon this goal. I hope that those who are not Thooms yet who
practice the art of weaponless combat may be willing to share
techniques and wisdom. The dojo will not be open to them at first,
though their company will always be warmly welcomed. In time, however,
perhaps some of these katas - which are truly best suited for the Thoom
physiology - can be transcribed, as it were, for non-Thooms. Likewise,
I look for support - whether passive or active - from my brothers and
sisters who form ThoomCare, for their path, too, is difficult, yet also
good, and noble. Truly, I hope that my fellow Thooms of all professions
will look kindly upon this venture. Indeed, I shall need four others to
join me, before the dojo may be founded. But that will come in time.

    What little I can recall of my past life is mystifying, and
intriguing. It is, at the same time, enough to show me clearly where my
path leads. What hills, brambles, and rivers may stand in my way are
only yet to be discovered. But I feel certain that, with the kindness
shown to me thus far, I shall be able to reach my goal.

    I am Sum, of the Damp Dragon Dojo. My life behind is clouded in a
haze of misrecollection. My life ahead is clouded in a haze of
uncertainty. Yet the present - my life with you, right now - shines
bright with promise, with friendship, and with the positive calm which
contains all and which contains nothing, called mu: no-thought. From
this void, all things are possible.

    I thank you for your time.

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
(TWO INSTALLMENTS)
BY TYKING II

1)
What is going on? Absolutely nothing. I haven't heard from Tenebrion in
many zodiacs. I'm not sure why, but when I finally do see him again,
there will be some big issues on hand. Umbrion hasn't been doing much
lately. I've heard about the "forbidden knowledge" that you can
supposedly learn. Tenebrion told me of a similar thing that I could not
learn (some of his skills), but I'm not sure if they're the same.
Recently, I met up with the being known as Jynx. My lessons learning
the Zo language finally paid off. I do not have a transcript of the
conversation as it was erased by Jynx's strange energy emanations, but
this is how it goes: we are surrounded by riptures. Not the big
riptures like we saw in the Ripture Wars, but instead tiny ones. Jynx
and the rest of his kind are there to fix these riptures. According to
Jynx, I am cursed. When I asked what the curse was, Jynx told me that
if I knew what the curse was or how to fix it, it would become
permanent. Also according to Jynx, Axell is blessed. Jynx has been
looking for Axell, why, I don't know. Jynx also told me that Tenebrion
is doing damage to the planes, but not as much as other things. He told
me that he only fixes things that are "broken". When I asked if I was
broken, Jynx projected a beam of light onto me, and then replied "No".
When I asked any other questions, like where he came from, or the names
of his colleagues, he replied with "Yes". It seems that many words in
his language can only be translated into "Yes". I would hope to be able
to learn Jynx's tongue in the future.

Keep watching the Planes,
Tyking II

2)
You all know about the Ethereal Plane. It's rather annoying to have to
find the crystal shards and go through the zodiac room to get to it,
isn't it? Wouldn't it be great if you could just open up a portal to
the plane at will? Well, now you can! Tenebrion is offering an Ethereal
Portal Stone to Puddleby! All he asks for in return is a Teleportation
Stone, one of those stones that we get from the FMOCR. This Ethereal
Portal Stone would be a great addition to Puddlebean Society, so I urge
any mystic in possession of a Teleportation Stone to please engage in
that trade with Tenebrion.

Tyking II
Servant of Tenebrion

#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

I recently acquired this OW! great new sword. OW! It's very effective,
OW!, but it hurts when I use it. Any OW! suggestions?

      Malthea

A: Dear "Malthea":

Put that sword away before you put your eye out.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

While I was in East Forest, a starbuck walked up and bit me right on
the forehead. Should I be concerned about Lyme disease?

      Nalkor

A: Dear uh, "Nalkor":

Probably. Hey, did you just take my wallet?

---

Q: Dear Dr. Thoom,

Some guy with a funny accent is stalking me. He and I had a little
fling a while ago, but we've grown apart.

      Jababaga

A: Dear "Jababaga":

Don't worry, Super Chicken is harmless.

---

Q: Goode Doctor Thoome:

What shoulde I do about this infernal itching and burning?

      Ye Olde Knighte

A: Deare Mr. Knighte:

Spend less time at the Purple Tor Inn.

---

Q: Dear Dr. Thoom:

Lately, I have noticed that when I bend my arm backwards, it hurts.
Would smoking medical tangleweed help this condition?

      A.Nonny Muss Dorf

A: Stick to your beer and leave the medication to the professionals.

#####
DORF ON THE STREET
BY CHARLOS

Charlos says, "I'm here with Sephiroth"
Charlos asks, "Sephiroth, what's your favorite food?"
Sephiroth says, "cake"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Sephiroth says, "uh... I like cake"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?""
Sephiroth asks, "the bakery?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Aries says, "hook me up next, C"
Aries exclaims, "yes sir!"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Aries"
Charlos asks, "Aries, what's your favorite food?"
Aries says, "veal"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Aries says, "it's not an obsession ...chumpy"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Sephiroth says, "heh"
Aries says, "from baby cows .... they put em in boxes"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "MojoJojo, what's your favorite food?"
MojoJojo says, "sushi"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
MojoJojo says, "it is all slimy and slithers down your throat real
gooey like"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
MojoJojo says, "cya"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with AgratisMellin"
Charlos asks, "AgratisMellin, what's your favorite food?"
Something whispers, "don't have one"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Something whispers, "hmm ?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Something whispers, "well ooc I come from germany"

Charlos yells, "Ho Ha!"
Raldin says, "Hiya Charlos"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Raldin says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Raldin"
Charlos asks, "Raldin, what's your favorite food?"
Raldin says, "beer"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Raldin says, "It's in my blood and I can't shake it"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Raldin asks, "Some sort of beer god, I'd imagine?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Raldin bows)
(Charlos bows)

Charlos asks, "Joey, what's your favorite food?"
Joey says, "Myrm Meat"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Joey says, "Well, it's really good with myrm hunny =D"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Joey exclaims, "Myrms, of course!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Huggs, what's your favorite food?"
Huggs exclaims, "Rats!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Huggs exclaims, "They're crunchy and salty!"
Charlos asks, "Where do they come from?"
Huggs says, "Rat towers, I suppose"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Darnok says, "sure Charlos"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Darnok"
Charlos asks, "Darnok, what's your favorite food?"
Darnok says, "Beer"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Darnok says, "It tastes good and it makes you act funny"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Darnok says, "A keg"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Darnok says, "heh"

Perrin exclaims, "Well... I guess Thoo... I mean fish is good!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Perrin says, "Well... I wouldn't necessarily call it obsession.."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
(Perrin chuckles.)
Perrin exclaims, "From my love of the sea!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Alcades exclaims, "Meat!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Alcades asks, "Do you really have to ask?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Alcades asks, "Trees?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Leonin exclaims, "sauteed mushrooms!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Leonin says, "ToO many nights spore hunting :)"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Leonin asks, "What - the obsession?"
Charlos says, "sure"
Charlos says, "or the mushrooms"
Charlos says, "or both"
Leonin says, "Ah :)"
Leonin says, "The mushrooms are mostly from the marsh"
Leonin says, "The desire is because they are pleasing to my palate"
Leonin says, "And I sometimes find spores to give to my healer friends"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Cobalt says, "I can try"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Cobalt"
Charlos asks, "Cobalt, what's your favorite food?"
Cobalt says, "humm"
Cobalt eats a drake drop and coughs out a puff of smoke.
Cobalt says, "I guess"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Cobalt says, "I love fire"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Cobalt says, "deep within"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Gorvin, what's your favorite food?"
Gorvin says, "Uh... tangleberry pie I guess..."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Gorvin says, "Uh... I don't know..."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Gorvin asks, "Nowhere...?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Gold Moon shrugs.)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Gold Moon"
Charlos asks, "Gold Moon, what's your favorite food?"
Gold Moon says, "Food."
Gold Moon says, "Food is good."
Gold Moon says, "Yup. Indeed."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Gold Moon says, "Pure insanity."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?
Gold Moon says, "Behind Shadowmutt's ears."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Gold Moon says, "Heh"

Charlos says, "I always kinda liked shishkabobed crawlers"

Zippy says, "Er"
Zippy says, "Hmmm"
Zippy says, "That would have to be campfire-cooked Large Midnight
Wendy"
Zippy says, "my specialty :)"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Zippy says, "I've only been able to make it once"
Zippy says, "probably over a year ago"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Zippy says, "The Foothills"

Charlos asks, "Rowen, what's your favorite food?"
(Rowen thinks about that)
Rowen says, "Chocolate"
Rowen says, "anything chocolate"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Rowen asks, "obsession?"
Rowen says, "I just like it, I'm not obsessed or anything, really"
Charlos says, "so you say"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Rowen asks, "umm... Coco trees?"

Sephroth says, "Roasted Lamb rack with a little myrm honey"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Sephroth says, "it's good"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Sephroth says, "Lamb and myrm eggs"

Charlos asks, "Chelsea, what's your favorite food?"
Chelsea exclaims, "Tangleberry pie!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Chelsea says, "I can't afford it so I have to steal it"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Chelsea asks, "The tanglewood?"

Katan says, "Island panther steak"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Katan asks, "Obsession, with island panther steak?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Katan says, "It comes from panthers"

Iho says, "Bacon"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Iho asks, "with food or my general obsession?"
Charlos says, "heh, yea"
Charlos says, "with bacon"
Iho says, "We had pigs on the farm"
Iho says, "And I used to like bacon a lot"
Iho says, "as simple as that"

Kalle' says, "I like Savannah maha steak."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Kalle' asks, "obsession?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Kalle' says, "The savannah maha steak comes from savannah mahas."

Tara says, "well ...goat, slowly cooked over an open campfire is kinda
yummy"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Tara says, "mmm, wel, I just like roasted goat"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Tara asks, "From mommy goats?"

Crunch says, "Orga brains"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Crunch exclaims, "Obsession!"
Crunch says, "Hmm"
Crunch says, "Well, it's the proper thing to do after victory, and
dishonors the dead orga"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Crunch exclaims, "Cracked orga skulls!"

Fist of Fluff says, "Well, I think I'd have to say meshra"
Fist of Fluff says, "Roasted Meshra"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Fist of Fluff says, "I wouldn't call it an obsession, really"
Fist of Fluff says, "I just like to have it with each meal"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Fist of Fluff says, "I was stuck in the meshra lair once and it was the
only thing there to eat"

(Tumble blushes)
Tumble asks, "uhm cookies?"
Tumble exclaims, "definitely cookies!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Tumble exclaims, "I..I can't!"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Tumble says, "I think from mom"
Tumble ponders, "everything comes from mom"
(Tumble waves to mom)

#####
FULL MOON ORGA CAMP RAID REPORT
BY NYSSA

This report is nearly a zodiac old, but I thought some of those
interested might not have seen it in the other venues.

There was another raid on the deep orga camps during the time of the
full Moon. One group reached the 4th orga camp early in the day. That
group had some close calls, but managed to hold on until strongly
reinforced about 10 am. After that there was very little difficulty in
holding on until noon and the appearance of the orga magician.

Raldin originally claimed he alone had the right to enter the power
room. Upon persuasion from Malkor and Zorton, he proved himself to be
more than reasonable by not only acknowledging that I had a right to
seek the stone as well, but allowing me to enter first. He seemed
confident that I would be no more successful than a zodiac ago, and
said he agreed in order "to put an end to this nonsense," apparently
meaning the idea that anyone but a Council-certified Mystic had a
chance to get a stone.

The defeat of the magician was accomplished quickly.

I entered the power room. Several other raiders who seemed interested
in touring, entered and left the room. Despite these interruptions, I
eventually was able to find out that, as I reckoned to be the most
likely possibility, that the powerful magic in the room was no more
comprehensible to me than it had been the previous zodiac.

I left the room and called to Raldin to enter. He did so, but although
he is a Mystic recognized by the Council, he apparently has less
training than I in what seems to be the appropriate discipline. Thus he
was not successful either. Then Malkor tried to enter the room. He
could not do so. He handed the stone which he had obtained last zodiac
to Raldin, then he could enter. He found a second stone there.

There was stiff resistance on the way out of the camps. We almost left
Leogic behind, since the raiders dispersed very rapidly. He was rescued
however, and as far as I know, there were no departs from the camps
that day (correct?).

Raldin apparently plans to keep Malkor's stone, although I do not think
it was intended as a gift. Malkor does not seem interested in pressing
the issue, and Raldin may feel he is entitled to it. On a personal and
extremely biased note, I do not see how he is any more entitled than a
mystic with more training and previous effort in these raids, for
instance, myself. ;-) I think it is unlikely that he will be persuaded
otherwise however.

We have learned some interesting things in these last two raids. First,
if more than one person enters the power room, it does not mean no
stone can be obtained. Still, only one person must be in the room
uninterrupted for some time to get it. Also, it does not matter if the
person is a recognized Mystic. On the other hand, for all practical
considerations, the person must be one, because they must have enough
training with a Mystic level trainer. Finally, as I suggested, and
Malkor and I learned last zodiac, it is possible to give or sell the
stones to others, much as some other Mystic tools can be.

I am still interested in obtaining a stone for myself, since the
reasons I had for it have not changed. My personal participation in a
raid is not necessary to achieve this and the participation of a more
highly trained mystic is, yet I will still be willing to participate as
needed in order to obtain more stones for others or for myself. The
full Moon next zodiac is on Soldi (as it always is) on the 60th day of
Autumn, 541 (ooc Wednesday, May 9 at 10 am to 4 pm PDT). Perhaps
sufficient numbers of Exiles will be available to have a successful
raid. I can be available if someone wishes to organize a raid, but of
course one of the more highly trained Mystics must be as well, at least
at the final stage.

Nyssa

#####
POETRY

"On Alchemy"
by Odesseus

To venture ye forthe in an alchemical mannyre
Firstly requires some idle blathyre.

Spake firstly to one whose bene theyre for longe
Then to one whose just set up in towne.

Longe ye must walk to a northerne wet bodye
Spake now, ye go weste, a sandy-clawed ladye.

Travelle yet 'gain back to whence ye started
Spake again to the seconde from whome ye had parted.

I telle ye must have some woode for the nexte
Or wandering withoute ye'll become quite vexte.>>>

To a new firey spotte ye'll make the nexte gaine
But 'ware the white munkies, they'll bashe out ye braines.

Back ye go, 'rounde 'gain into towne
Spake 'gain to the second who gives but a frown.

Off ye must tramp to a land windye and raised
Where ye knowledge of "seeds" will be some appraised.

Successe at last! Ye've completed the goal!
Awarded ye be, with an alchemical bowle!

If more hints ye need, I can give with a wynke
But before ye aske, I tell ye to THYNKE!

---

Haiku
by Sum

Whilest travelling in the south forest with the healer Snow and a few
others, we fell upon some good luck, and then some bad luck, and then
some good luck. These were a maha, a Zerk, and slaying both. However,
Snow was upset that she had not been able to share in the victories
first-hand. Being in that place, this haiku, dedicated to her, came to
me:

    Snow sighs from rooftops.
    The wind blows down the mountain.
    Winter takes a breath.


#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/


In Santa Barbara they stopped at a fish restaurant in what seemed to be
a converted warehouse.

Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.

Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a
passing waitress by the arm and berated her.

"Why's this fish so bloody good?" he demanded, angrily.

"Please excuse my friend," said Fenchurch to the startled waitress. "I
think he's having a nice day at last."

  - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

It's time to produce the next Fishwrap Magazine, and while I have a
couple submissions, they are nowhere near enough to produce a whole
issue. If you'd like to submit something, now is the time.

Suggestions:

clan profiles (we've only had about 3!)
exile profiles (a biography of you or another exile)
reports on new hunting grounds or weapons

Thoom on,

Paramedic
Editor, Fishwrap Magazine

Some of you may have received the last Fishwrap (and with 2 different
issue numbers in the headline) - my apologies for that.

There's a new poll up today.

And thanks to all those who reponded to the call for submissions. I got
a lot of great material and really appreciated it.

I'd like to get some more clan profiles, and I'm also interested in
publishing more exile profiles/bios, like the one for Tuert in the last
issue.

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Use only as directed"

Issue #38: "Chocolate Astral Bunnies"
[April 27, 2001]
Circulation: 154

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Rael the Squonk
   http://www.berberland.com/cl
* Thoom Mailing List: Thoom- and ThoomCare-related information and
discussions
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Durandal the Thoom, ThoomCare member, now has a caduceus
* Paramedic the Thoom, ThoomCare member, is now a full pathfinder
* Luthic Darkus, ThoomCare member, is now a fourth circle healer
* Thealer the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
* Mysterious worms bored holes north of north farms to new myrm hive
and Umbrion's Island
* Babajaga has a new scroll on Tenebrion's Island:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/library/crysquest/crystals.html
* Marfisa the Fen is back after a long absence
* Cripper the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter, is
missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Adventures in lava
* Malkor has a stone
* The Wheels of Justice
* Adventures in Dentistry
* Marfisa uses Norm's kerchief
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Nyssa leaving Puddleby?
* Yet Another Full Moon Orga Camp Raid
* Rising Claw defeats the Rat Bastards in a close Dun'ilsar contest
* Tooth trainer Dentir Longtooth arrives in Puddleby
* Foothills update
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Babajaga stuck in library
* Deep Thoughts from Qual the Wizard
* Excess rats
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_223_21_33 on 43 Summer, 541 at 22:18..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Sir Adam of obscenity and annoyance..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 105 minutes in jail, 522c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_224_06_43 on 44 Summer, 541 at 7:40..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Sir Adam of harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 116 minutes in jail, 788c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_229_07_09 on 49 Summer, 541 at 8:15..."
Clerus says, "Kalle' accused Tyking II of Harassing...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 55 minutes in jail, 187c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_230_01_55 on 50 Summer, 541 at 2:45..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Michael of a loss of experience as well
as time and a good hunt..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_234_17_00 on 54 Summer, 541 at 17:55..."
Clerus says, "Zeus accused Tenebrion of breaking a contract on a
duel..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_237_19_04 on 57 Summer, 541 at 20:03..."
Clerus says, "Bat accused Larloch of selling stolen property...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 126 minutes in jail, 800c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_261_07_37 on 81 Summer, 541 at 8:45..."
Clerus says, "Felicity accused Dobbin of unjust cause of cursing and
harrassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 26 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_263_06_12 on 83 Summer, 541 at 6:41..."
Clerus says, "Spazmodier accused Algernon of making everyone miss him
terribly..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_265_06_44 on 85 Summer, 541 at 7:44..."
Clerus says, "Lion-O accused Tara of healing snerts...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 116 minutes in jail, 154c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_270_04_48 on 90 Summer, 541 at 6:08..."
Clerus says, "Achates accused White Wolf of lack of punctuality and
being a loafer..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 61 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

Election results:
#183: What do you hate most about chainers?
2 (3%): They make the world unbalanced.
7 (11%): They expect monetary compensation.
11 (18%): They chain too much and too quickly without thinking.
5 (8%): They take away the challenge of hunts, rescues, raids, etc.
31 (50%): None of the above
6 (10%): Abstain
---
#184: Did you contribute to the PMC slush fund to have your coins given
away to some undeserving newbie?!
4 (6%): Yes, yes I did. I'm an evil Marxist.
1 (2%): No! I wanted my coins to go towards finding the passage. Give
'em back!
5 (8%): Well, I didn't contribute any coins, but I _am_ a worthless
newbie looking for handouts… so … yeah!
13 (21%): Why don't we instead give the coins to poor Mystics who need
the funds to study advanced training?
29 (47%): None of the above
10 (16%): Abstain
---
#185: A new cloak has been proposed. Should the cloak divulge one's
gender?  Details at http://www.cet.com/~tarf/Cloak.html
35 (56%): New cloak should be gender specific: a separate male and
female icon (with chest) made for both the tall and the short exiles
20 (32%): New cloak should conceal one's gender, so that both males and
females would wear the same cloak icon.
4 (6%): None of the above
3 (5%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
The Gubara report has been put on hiatus until Gubara starts reporting
on people whose names begin with letters other than A, B, or C.

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans continue to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have one
from Rising Claw.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH NEVYN THE MYSTIC

Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Paramedic says, "Readers of the Fishwrap have requested a Nevyn
interview."
(Malkor holds a tangleberry pie under Comus' nose.)
Nevyn has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Journeyman Mystic, and
is wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding an Orb of Caesindre.
Nevyn has 26 good and 1 bad karma.
Nevyn says, "Er? Why would.."
Nevyn says, "Hum."
Malkor asks, "Comus?"
Paramedic says, "Someone even left a note on my door."
Malkor ponders, "Hrm"
Malkor ponders, "Comus must have fainted from hunger."
Paramedic says, "'Interview Nevyn' it said"
(Malkor smiles.)
Nevyn says, "Hm."
Nevyn asks, "Not a case of mistaken identity?"
Paramedic says, "Nope."
Paramedic says, "One cannot deny the signs."
Paramedic asks, "Would this be a good time for an interview?"
Nevyn says, "Give me a couple minutes first, then sure."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Bones says, "Ah yes, we need to interview more Thooms like Nevyn here."
Nevyn exclaims, "!"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I hear he's a Thoom."
Paramedic says, "That's the word on the street."
Paramedic says, "'Nevyn is a Thoom' they say"
Bones says, "Thoom on the street"
Erasmus yells, "Thoom!"
Erasmus is a Thoom, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
Open Hands.
He is holding a dagger.
Bones says, "Thoom"
Paramedic asks, "'Open Hands'?"
Paramedic asks, "New clan?"
Bones says, "yes"
Erasmus says, "yes"
Bones says, "pretty big too"
Paramedic asks, "Really?"
Erasmus says, "I'm one of the co-founders"
Bones says, "mostly newer exiles"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Erasmus says, "Yeps"
Nevyn says, "Ok"
Paramedic says, "Welcome to the Fishwrap interview."
Nevyn asks, "Well, er, thanks?"
(Slyph smooches Bones)
Slyph says, "Hey you"
Paramedic says, "Let's start with some introductory stuff. Tell our
readers a little about yourself."
(Slyph gives Bones a fishie treat with frosting)
Bones asks, "where are the bunnies?"
Erasmus ponders, "Nice, a real fishwrap interview"
(Bones munches.)
Nevyn says, "Hrrm."
Bones says, "Slyph, you know Erasmus"
Slyph says, "yes, I have met him a few times now"
Erasmus says, "yeps"
Slyph says, "Hi, Erasmus :)"
Nevyn says, "I'm an avid butterfly seeker that aspires to someday help
fight the Darshak Theocracy."
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Erasmus says, "Hi Slyph"
Cassandra says, "chocolate astral bunnies"
(Malkor smiles and munches on a peep.)
(Slyph has a soft spot for Thooms)
Erasmus says, "Bones is my role model :-)"
Nevyn says, "And, well, maybe even help right some wrongs back on the
mainland."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Do you like being a mystic?"
Nevyn says, "Er, I wouldn't know, I haven't made it yet."
Paramedic says, "Good point."
Paramedic asks, "Do you have high hopes for becoming one?"
Nevyn says, "Well, if it happens, it happens..."
Nevyn says, "I'm content helping as I can."
Paramedic says, "That makes sense."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think you are making good progress?"
Nevyn says, "Well, it's hard to say."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "I've done a review of fourth circle fighters with the
training dummies we used to have"
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "But in the field the response to my training is markedly
less, um, receptive."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Paramedic says, "Well, let's shift gears a bit here."
Paramedic asks, "What do you say to the rumors that you are actually a
Thoom?"
Nevyn says, "I couldn't possibly refute such a claim."
(Nevyn pulls cowl closed tight.)
(Paramedic tries to peer in.)
(Paramedic has no luck.)
Paramedic says, "So you have no comment on the matter."
Nevyn says, "Well, no."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think that some day you will reveal your race?"
Nevyn says, "I tried that, I don't think so."
Paramedic asks, "You tried it?"
Nevyn says, "Er, no."
Nevyn says, "Well...yes."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
(Nevyn glares at Xel.)
Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Xel ponders, "Sorry, just sharing healers, jeez =P"
Xel starts playing his gitor for himself.
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean when you say you tried it?"
Nevyn says, "I wasn't concealed originally."
Paramedic asks, "What did you appear as?"
Nevyn says, "Something less concealed."
(Paramedic nods and writes that down.)
Paramedic says, "Ok. next question"
Paramedic asks, "Some call you "Nevyn the Frazzled." Why?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I signed some of my work that way."
Paramedic asks, "Ah, what do you mean by that?"
Paramedic asks, "Are you very busy?"
Nevyn says, "A few articles about Astral Spark or the Ripture War were
written..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "when life as an exile was very frantic."
Nevyn says, "People needed to know how to listen to Astral Spark, and
it wasn't happening."
Paramedic says, "So you have been in Puddleby a long time, Nevyn."
Nevyn says, "Well, yes."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Have things improved here in town?"
(Nevyn looks at the mud, the puddles, and the lack of tiles in town
square.)
Nevyn says, "Well.... yes."
Nevyn ponders, "Somewhere."
(Paramedic nods sadly.)
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
Nevyn says, "Well, there's more things to do, more of the conveniences
of a real city."
Paramedic asks, "Gift shops, tattoo parlors, etc.?"
Nevyn says, "Brewery, Bakery..."
Nevyn says, "Less like a border town or penal colony."
Paramedic says, "High culture."
Nevyn says, "Well, heh."
Nevyn says, "Still waiting for my first batch of mushrooms from the
mushroom shop though."
Paramedic says, "Just don't get the poisonous ones."
Nevyn says, "Well, even those would be better than the current foul-
smelling hole :)"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "How is the rat killing going?"
Cross says, "I met a creature of poor attitude"
(Bones nods.)
Cross says, "and big teeth"
Bones says, "big pointy teeth"
Cross says, "it stood on two feet"
Cross says, "I thought it was another player"
Bones says, "That's a detached spirit"
Cross exclaims, "!!!!!"
Paramedic asks, "I see you are a member of the Red Quill. How is that
working out for you?"
Nevyn says, "Quite well..."
Nevyn says, "I was originally a member of the Laughing Academy..."
(Paramedic nods)
Nevyn says, "Which was good, because I had absolutely no
responsibilities, perfect for me."
Paramedic says, "Is Laughing Academy around still? I don't see their
members much anymore...."
(Niccolo giggles)
Niccolo exclaims, "hey!"
Niccolo says, "hush up"
Niccolo is a Sylvan, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
The Laughing Academy.
He is holding a moonstone and a mounted rat.
(He is Perrin's Brother)
Nevyn asks, "Well, Super Chicken I saw just the other bawking day?"
Niccolo says, "No derogatory comments about Laughing Academy"
Paramedic says, "Oh yes, Super Chicken, and Niccolo here too"
Paramedic says, "I was not making fun, Niccolo..."
Niccolo says, "good"
You just received good karma from Niccolo, good
Paramedic says, "I just hadn't seen a member in a while"
Paramedic says, "I like the Laughing Academy"
Nevyn says, "But... when the Ripture War came..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "I needed to help a little more, that only seemed possible
in a different clan."
Nevyn says, "I broke in on a Red Quill meeting and asked for their help
to do something..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "and they said 'sit, you're now in the Red Quill'"
Paramedic says, "Hrm, interesting initiation procedure"
Nevyn says, "Well, they'd already voted."
Paramedic says, "Oh."
Nevyn says, "I didn't know that though."
Paramedic says, "How are things with Red Quill these days? Some say
some members have left the clan..."
Nevyn says, "Well...."
Nevyn says, "There's always an influx and an outflux."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't see it as anything unusual?"
Nevyn says, "It's like the saying 'May you live in interesting times'"
Paramedic says, "Ahhh..."
Nevyn says, "Ooh."
Nevyn says, "Butterfly, sorry."
(Nevyn runs off.)
(Paramedic watches Nevyn run off.)
Nevyn says, "Sigh."
(Slyph smiles warmly)
Paramedic asks, "No luck?"
Nevyn says, "They died off."
Paramedic says, "Argh."
Paramedic asks, "What is the significance of butterflies?"
Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Paramedic asks, "Why do you chase them?"
Nevyn exclaims, "They're great!"
Nevyn says, "When you're a butterfly you can forget about..."
Nevyn says, "Well, everything."
Paramedic says, "Ah,..."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Paramedic asks, "Ok, where are your favorite places to travel or hunt?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I like to see most anywhere, but it's sort of
contraindicated due to health reasons."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
Nevyn asks, "Er, leave town -> dead journeyman?"
Paramedic says, "Oh."
Nevyn says, "Unless there's mob or a clan hunt pretty much."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "What do you think about Tenebrion?"
Nevyn says, "Hmm."
Nevyn says, "I don't trust his researches at all, they are too deeply
into Necromancy."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't trust him?"
Nevyn says, "He makes promises he can't keep..."
(Paramedic nods)
Nevyn says, "He's personable, we might be able to trust him for minor
things..."
Nevyn says, "But there's no way I'd let him at a purgatory pendant."
Paramedic asks, "How about this Umbrion guy?"
Nevyn says, "He's scarier."
Nevyn says, "He's more casual with his power, and seems to be more
confrontational than Tenebrion."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been to Umbrion's Island?"
Nevyn says, "The Ethereal plane, but not to Umbrion's island."
Paramedic asks, "What was the Ethereal plane like?"
Nevyn asks, "Scary?"
Paramedic asks, "What were the monsters like?"
Nevyn says, "Well..."
(Nevyn scratches head.)
Paramedic says, "They were bad, in other words."
Nevyn says, "Somewhat like the Astral, if I recall correctly, but
tougher."
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Paramedic asks, "So what's in the future for Nevyn? Your hopes? Plans?"
Slyph says, "Dannit, Bones, yer so sexy."
(Bones nods.)
Slyph says, "Tone it down a little."
Paramedic says, "Close off that spigot, Bones"
Nevyn says, "Hopefully we'll be able to eradicate this viper's nest of
Darshak on Ash Island, and capture some real ships."
Nevyn says, "And I continue to study the mirrors, but that's something
most everyone's interested in."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "You are interested in sailing, Nevyn?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I don't like rowing myself..."
Nevyn says, "But...there are not too many ways to get back to the
mainland."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think what is beyond the south forest mirror is
the same as it was pre-ripture?"
(Bones shows Paramedic a visionstone)
Nevyn says, "I'm not sure, it really could be something drastically
different."
Bones says, "I went there after the war"
Nevyn says, "They don't seem to work the same way."
(Paramedic looks)
Paramedic asks, "Was it the same then, Bones?"
Bones says, "Yes..."
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "with some additions to the desert..."
Bones says, "a nice oasis"
Paramedic says, "Ah, I miss the desert"
Paramedic says, "trapping the sand tigers...."
Nevyn says, "And Cold and Snowy..."
Paramedic says, "Yes, what a great place to go"
Nevyn says, "We'd uncovered some interesting places there."
Paramedic says, "Ok, Nevyn, to conclude the interview you are allowed
to ask the Thoom one (1) question"
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE)"
Nevyn asks, "Can I ask questions about my question?"
Nevyn says, "Erk."
Clyde ponders, "There's your one."
Paramedic says, "That was your question. The answer was yes."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for a great interview!"
Nevyn says, "Oh good."
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"

#####
A BRIEF LIFE OF TUERT
BY TUERT THE THOOM, MYSTIC AND THOOMCARE MEMBER

To begin at the beginning, I am the third daughter of my mother and the
first child of my father, who was the youngest and favorite husband of
my mother, a redoubtable woman who remains, as far as I can know from
my prison here in the Lok'Groton Islands, a merchant of some renown in
my natal town. My father was a fisherman and sailor. He passed into the
arms of the She Who Moves the Seas when I was only a young swimmer,
lost at sea like great Fishwah. But the story of my childhood is
perhaps better left for another time as Thoomish tales are long.

I was apprenticed to Master Storyteller Shellwah when I reached the
proper age (ah, noble Shellwah; that is a name that stirs the memories
and imagination, is it not?). With him I studied singing, languages,
history, cartography, fencing, dancing, netmaking -- in short, the
usual. After seven years, my master proposed me for Guild membership,
and I was accepted. As a journeywoman I retraced the voyages of Fishwah
from his youthful ventures on his fabled ship the Pearl, to the
discovery of the Treasurehouse of Lost Akbek, the journeys with his
wife, Navigator-Mystic Gellfra, the years as First Admiral and
Commander in the Tlane Wars, and finally to study the mysterious and
tragic final voyage.

Having unearthed several admirable tales from Fishwah's time (the
reader will no doubt remember the popular "Song of Sorrow, Lith'ranael"
which was among those I brought back from the sea cave cache in East
Jeshtran), I found myself something of a celebrity. Nothing loathe to
take advantage of good publicity, I gathered a group of talented
musicians, dancers, and swimmers and formed a Thoomish Troupe. For some
years we traveled the Empire, among the most sought after of companies.

But how, you ask, did Tuert go from such success to exile? How from
triumph to these bleak islands? My friend, times are dark in the
empire. Necromancy, undead abominations, and fear are the tools that
the emperor has chosen to use to hold his power, though he has hidden
the extent of his evil from most of the citizenry. Seeing this, could I
be silent? Let us be frank. I am unlikely to be silent on any topic,
let alone one of such purport. Invited to perform at the Solstice
Celebration by then Viceroy Klegg (a thoroughly unpleasant woman), I
accepted with alacrity. "Raela Fletcher's Tale," the story of a young
archer who destroyed a Sorcerer Prince, freeing her people but at the
cost of her own life was my text. Raela's dying words left the audience
silent a moment, almost afraid to breathe. Then some bold soul in the
back began to cheer those stirring words, the applause began, and I
received a thunderous ovation.

Suffice it to say, the emperor's minions (in particular Klegg) were
appreciative of neither my selection nor the reaction it received. Upon
leaving the dais I was arrested. With the obscene rapidity that
characterizes the Imperial justice, I was exiled to the distant
Lok'Groton Islands for attempting to incite rebellion. It gives me some
satisfaction to note that the Viceroy did not live to hear that
sentence pronounced.

I hope and believe that the spark of rebellion that I saw in city,
town, and village in my travels smolders still in our homelands. Here
in this unlikely spot I have found many kindred spirits. With them I
study, learning new skills and honing old ones in the hope that some
day I shall be able to return to the Imperium and join those who fight
the Emperor.

I do have a few ideas about how to escape from this place and return to
the fray, but perhaps they are best left for another time.

#####
A CHAT WITH TENEBRION
BY HENRYK THE DORF

Tenebrion thinks to you, "My smith will not make armor for your people
until a complete state of peace exists between us."

You think to Tenebrion, "Ok, That is understood. The main reason the
people from where I live attack your castle is to go to the Ethereal
plane. Is there some way you can get us there so we don't have to
attack your home?"

Tenebrion thinks to you, "There are several other entrances to the
Ethereal plane."

You think to Tenebrion, "and they are not on your island?"

No response.

You think to Tenebrion, "I guess you do not want to answer that
question... I'm trying to figure out the answer because it will make it
a lot easier to keep people away from your castle. Is there an entrance
to the Ethereal plane on one of your brothers' islands?"

Tenebrion thinks to you, "The Ethereal Plane is not a playground. I
would recommend your people stay away from it."

You think to Tenebrion, "Aye, we have discovered that. I personally
will not go back there."

#####
CLAN PROFILE: RISING CLAW
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

Clan name: Rising Claw, a.k.a. The Disciples of Chil'tak
Established: Long time ago
Number of members: 30+
Scrolls: http://www.risingclaw.com

Rising Claw is patterned after the life of Chil'tak, a great warrior of
the People and statesfen. Following his mysterious disappearance very
long ago, a priestess, whose name has been long forgotten, created the
Clan of the Rising Claw, The Disciples of Chil'tak. Chil'tak continues
to be the inspiration and role model of the clan, and to some, even a
worshipped hero.

The clan's symbol, that of a reaching People's paw with unsheathed
claws,  symbolizes our desire to reach above our limits and to grasp
greater knowledge and understanding. We do not reach out with soft
paws, but use our claws to take it boldly. That knowledge is not kept,
but shared with all, so that all may benefit.

The original intent of the clan was to provide unity against other
surrounding factions and to give People of all castes a voice. Since
then, it has been taken up the struggle against the Ascendency, united
against the evil emperor Mobius. With the fall of The People's lands,
the clan was forced to splinter and hide. Several different factions of
Rising Claw may still exist on the mainland, although it has been many
years since any of the Puddleby members have had contact with them.

The Puddleby faction of Rising Claw was founded before the Ripture War
(OOC: somewhere around v37), by Aldernon, Bones, Bounty, Cyrus, Dora,
Hanako, John Junkar, John the Mighty, Korius, Magus, Pharazon, Priapus,
Shere Khan, Rakshasa, and Zilo. To Rising Claw's credit, many of the
founders are still active to this day.

The clan is made up of unique people, all maintaining their
individuality and not following any specific single path. I think that
is one of the greatest strengths of the clan, that we value everyone's
voice. It can be a cacophany of opinions sometimes, as we all discuss,
debate or argue points, but inevitably from this process the clan
grows, learns and thrives.

Overall, Rising Claw's members are a good-hearted bunch, ready to
rescue anyone, anywhere, to explore, assist and just plain ol' hunt.
The clan, more than everything else, I think, is known for its good
humor and sense of fun. We've got a few nicknames that poke fun at us,
like "Rise and Fall" or "Rather Chat," but it's all in high-spirits.
More than a clan, we are family and care and watch out for each other
as we watch over all the rest of Puddleby's exiles.

I can't think of a clan I rather be in.

If you've been laid low
By some nasty creature's blow,
Never fear! Give a howl!
Rising Claw is on the prowl!

#####
FERAL REPORT
BY SARETH OF RISING CLAW

Ferals expanding territory

The number of ferals on Loc Groton Island seems to be increasing,
forcing them into formerly feral-less territory. Most noticeable is
their increase in the Lake and North Plains area. A puddle-year ago, a
fighter could spend nearly an entire day in the area and quite possibly
not see a feral. Now, ferals are becoming almost as numerous there as
the artaks that attract so many pelt collectors. As an example,
recently I spent less than 2 hours there, and dispatched four ferals.

Reasons for the increase of ferals are unclear, but do raise concerns.
In a region with an ever-increasing exile population, it would seem
reasonable to expect feral populations to decrease as their territory
receives more and more visitors. Additionally, the expansion of their
territory is likely to lead to the decrease of other animal
populations, as ferals either eat them or take over their dens. Also
there is the noticeable increase in aggressive behavior on the part of
some ferals, most notably the grey feral, which I believe to be equally
dangerous, but more tenacious, then its slightly smarter cousins.

A number of concerned citizens (all one of me) are beginning to call
for an investigation into the reasons for the rise in feral populations
and what can be done about it. Perhaps the Puddleby Ornithological
Society can expand its bird watching to include the habits of ferals as
well. Also, exiles should be encouraged to help control the feral
population, allowing the return of better tasting and better looking
prey species to the areas ferals have moved into, thereby making the
lands safer for new exiles.

#####
TOOTH TRAINER ARRIVES IN TOWN
BY KORIC

[Calti addresses Zan Bountipay as Ippon sees them coming off the dock.]
  Calti Pouder says, "You're getting fat."
  Ippon asks, "Can I help you?"
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "And Skea!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, hello."
  Calti Pouder says, "Nice clothes."
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Not."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You seem to be doing pretty well here, Skea."
  Calti Pouder says, "We got your message."
  Skea Brightfur says, "Oh, good."

  Calti Pouder says, "There had better be plenty of kyten here to
justify our expenses."
  Skea Brightfur exclaims, "Of course there is!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Skea always was a little strange. Look how
she's working out here on the open beach."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Yes, Skea -- if you're so rich, how come you don't
have a house?"
  Ippon says, "No one has houses here..."
  Skea Brightfur exclaims, "I enjoy it here on the beach!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "No one? You mean we'll have to work out in the
open too? How... barbaric."
  Ippon says, "Well, you could occupy a house in the farms"
  Calti Pouder says, "There is no way I'm working outside."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "There must be somewhere we could set up our
business."

  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Without having to stand here with Skea."
  Ippon says, "There are a lot of empty huts in the farms"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Oh, so there are houses?"
  Ippon says, "Yeah"
  Ippon says, "Hardly anybody owns one though"
  Ippon says, "They just sit there empty, except for the rats of course"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Eew, rats."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You know they'll get into the kyten."
  (Calti Pouder laughs!)
  Ippon asks, "May I ask, what is a kyten?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Better than bird droppings and sand, I guess."
  Calti Pouder says, "Kyten powder? Just one of the most valuable
substances in the world."
  (Dentir Longtooth smiles.)
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Ignorant oaf."
  Ippon says, "Sorry, never heard of it"
  Dentir Longtooth exclaims, "What!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But... but Skea told us there was a good
supply here."
  Calti Pouder says, "Well, peasant, why don't you point us to one of
your fabulous homes."
  Ippon asks, "What does it come from?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Mandibles, of course."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "None of your damn business!"

  Ippon says, "Your friend seems to be in a bit of a mood."
  Ippon says, "The Darkhorse clan would be glad to lend you its hut"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "With all the time and expense of getting here,
only to find out all you have is raw materials..."
  (Dentir Longtooth sighs.)
  Calti Pouder says, "Whatever. I just want to rest somewhere that isn't
bobbing up and down in the waves."
  Ippon says, "Okay :)"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "All right, take us to this grand manor."
  [Ippon leads the pair east toward town from the docks.]
  Ippon says, "If you require an empty building, please say so :)"
  Calti Pouder says, "I don't require an empty building now, but I
will."

  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Well, what are we going to be sharing this
house with?"
  Ippon says, "Cairo"
  Calti Pouder says, "There seem to be lots of people over there."
  Ippon says, "He has been here awhile and can fill you in"
  (Calti Pouder points east.)
  Ippon says, "That is town square"
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is everybody there stupid?"
  Ippon says, "Some are :)"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Now, Calti, they can't help it."
[Calti is attacked by a small rat.]

  Calti Pouder yells, "Ack!"
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "I guess we'll just have to teach them what
they need to know."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "That thing tried to bite me!"
  Ippon asks, "Would you like to see our tooth supply?"
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Yes!"
  Ippon says, "We get some teeth from wurms"
  Ippon says, "Our biggest supply is east"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Wait..."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "You mean they're still on the animals?"
  Ippon says, "Yeah"

  Ippon says, "We have to remove them"
  Calti Pouder says, "Oh, that's useful."
  Ippon says, "Smack and pluck"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Great."
  Calti Pouder yells, "If there's no kyten here, I'm going to murder
you, Skea Brightfur!"
  Ippon says, "Same way skea gets her furs"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "How does Skea get her furs?"
  Ippon says, "People kill wild creatures and bring her the furs"
  Ippon says, "Some of us are better skinners then others"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "And she buys them from them?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Calti... this isn't looking good."
  (Calti Pouder nods.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I don't think Skea was entirely honest with
us."
  Ippon says, "Skea looks like she is doing well, though"
  Calti Pouder says, "Sure, if you like living on a beach."
  Ippon says, "That is a 15,000 coin outfit she is wearing"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, sure. Standing out in the open, attacked
by rats and birds. She's doing great, huh."
[By this time, Dentir, Calti and Ippon have arrived in town center.]
  Ippon says, "Aw, housing here is free"
  Calti Pouder asks, "So you have no mandibles at all collected?"

  Ippon says, "We can't seem to remove them without destroying them"
  (Calti Pouder groans.)
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Kind of a backward place. We should have
known."
  Ippon says, "May need a tool or something"
  Bean says, "Perhaps someone could teach us to collect the teeth."
  Ippon says, "Backwards, but ripe"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Isn't there anybody here who knows how to
remove a mandible intact?"
  Bumper ponders, "Merlisk?"
  Ippon says, "Afraid not"
  Calti Pouder ponders, "We're doomed."

  Ippon says, "We are willing to learn though"
  Bean says, "I'm sure Merlisk would like to improve his dentistry,
too."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is there any hope?"
  Ippon asks, "Well, is there a tool or teachings that can help?"
  Calti Pouder asks, "Can you bring us the corpse of a large insect?"
  Ippon says, "Sure"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "We're kind of stuck. After paying to get here,
we don't have enough money left to leave empty-handed."
  Ippon says, "I'll be right back with a myrm"
  Calti Pouder says, "Why don't you bring us a few, and we'll check them
out."
[At this point, Ippon and Yor go to the hive, kill several myrms and
chain them back to town center.]

  Ippon says, "Insects coming"
  Dentir Longtooth exclaims, "Aha!"
  Calti Pouder says, "Ah, that looks promising."
  Ippon says, "Farmer, noble, royal, queen"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well now, let's see here..."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "A little room, please."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "This can be a delicate operation."
  (Dentir Longtooth bends down near the myrm's head.)
  (Dentir Longtooth carefully removes the lower jaw from the myrm.)

[Calti walks over to the myrm farmer corpse and points.]
  Calti Pouder says, "This one here isn't bad. Not good, though,
either."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Calti, what do you think you could do with
this one?"
[Dentir points at the queen myrm corpse.]
  Calti Pouder says, "Much better."
  (Dentir Longtooth hands the mandible to Calti.)
  (Calti Pouder examinds the mandibles.)
  Calti Pouder says, "About 50 more like this and I might get a dose out
of it."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hmm."
  Ippon asks, "Might spiders be better?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's going to take us forever to earn enough
at that rate."
  Ippon says, "Well, once you get established, the supply increases"
  Calti Pouder says, "Nah, if every one of these peasants can fetch bugs
that fast, we should do OK."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It took this Thoom a good part of an hour just
to get these four."
  Calti Pouder says, "I've got an excellent buyer."
  Ippon says, "Well, yeah"
  Ippon says, "These are the big ones"
  Calti Pouder says, "You'll have to teach them to get the mandibles
themselves, though."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "I'm not going to spend my days doing that!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Seems to be what Skea ended up doing, too."

  Calti Pouder ponders, "Ignorant oafs."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well, okay, but then you'll have to do all the
refining."
  Ippon says, "We can learn on our own fairly well"
  Calti Pouder says, "That seems fair."
  Ippon says, "We just have to shown the path"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You always were better at that than me
anyway."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "But I need a roof!"
  Ippon says, "Take one of the huts"
  Calti Pouder says, "My refining services won't be needed for quite a
while, I can tell."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "So, these are your corpses?"

  Calti Pouder says, "Pay the peasant, Dentir."
  Ippon says, "Give us a couple weeks with training and the teeth will
be rolling in"
  (Dentir Longtooth removes the mandibles from the other myrms.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Excuse me, please."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is that little one as worthless as it looks?"
  Ippon says, "The noids to the east have lots of long pointy teeth"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can give you 10c for the big one, and 5c for
the rest together."
  (Calti Pouder pokes Dentir Longtooth.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Luckily I was able to take them off very
cleanly."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Too much!"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well... but..."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "We have to make a profit, you know!"
  (Dentir Longtooth sighs.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You're right, you're right."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Will you take 10c for the lot?"
  Calti Pouder says, "We'll pay you folks for any useful mandibles you
find."
  Calti Pouder says, "And after you've brought enough, maybe I'll even
sell you some of our kyten."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But I had to do all the work of removing
them."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's not easy, you know."
  Sa'Wrap asks, "What is Kyten?"

  Calti Pouder says, "Kyten! Kyten powder! You know, 'kyten makes the
world go around?'"
  (Dentir Longtooth bursts out laughing.)
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Oafs."
  [At this point, a mammoth arachne corpse is dragged into town center
by Afrit.]
  Bumper says, "A mammoth it looks like."
  Clyde asks, "Dentir, can you do anything with the bug over there?"
  Bean asks, "What about the bug Afrit has brought?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, I'll pay you for these I just extracted,
and then if you want I'll teach you to remove the next ones yourself."
  Calti Pouder says, "That big spider over there looks OK."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, I'll show you on that big blue thing
over there."

  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Can you get these disgusting myrm corpses out
of the way now?"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "All right, Ippon? Is that what you're called?"
  Ippon says, "Yes"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, come get a good look at how it's done."
  (Ippon watches closely)
  (Dentir Longtooth points to the right places to remove the mandible
intact.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Go ahead, give it a try."
  (Ippon observes)
  (Ippon jots some notes down)
  (Ippon carefully pulls on the teeth.)

  (Dentir Longtooth): The mandible breaks in two.
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Ah! Well, a good try. This one looks kind of
hard."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But practice what I showed you, and you'll get
better at it."
  Ippon says, "I'll be sure to keep practicing"
  Destian asks, "Can you two remove scales, or is this the entire scope
of your abilities?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Scales? Why would we want those? It's
mandibles that make kyten."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Remember: broken mandibles are worthless!"
  Calti Pouder says, "I need them intact to extract the kyten powder."
  Ippon asks, "Any other tricks of the trade you need to show me?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You just need practice now, Ippon."

  Ippon says, "Okay :)"
  Ippon says, "Thanks"
  Destian asks, "Then have you any friends...saying you have
friends...who know the arts of scaling?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can't think of any who'd want to come to a
muddy, rat-infested place like this..."
  Ippon says, "Well, we aren't here by choice"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But if anyone springs to mind, I'll be sure to
let you know."
  (Dentir Longtooth smirks.)
  Da Budda Buh says, "Just checking out the new envrions"
  Calti Pouder says, "If Skea had told us everything about this place,
we sure wouldn't be here now."
  Koric says, "Ah, friends of Skea."

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hah, we used to be friends of hers. Don't
count on it now, though."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Now, could somebody please show us to a place
to stay?"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Maybe somewhere near where the mandibles come
from?"
  Calti Pouder says, "Ah, an Inn would be lovely."
  Koric says, "We have some nice empty huts in the north farms, near the
myrm hive."
  Sala Dragon asks, "Are you more interested in myrm or arachne
mandibles?"
  Tuzar Bloodblade asks, "How much do you pay for a mandible?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It depends on how good it is. A couple of
coins, usually."
  Tuzar Bloodblade asks, "How much would you give for the perfect
mandible?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I'll tell you when I see one."

  Calti Pouder says, "The perfect mandible weighs more than you do."
  Tuzar Bloodblade says, "Those are big mandibles.."
  Ippon says, "There is a hut east that is close to three sources of
teeth"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Well now, Calti. Should we try the Inn, or do
you want to be somewhere closer to work?"
  Calti Pouder says, "So where is this Inn? We need privacy."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, I say."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Before I go, does anyone else want to see how
to remove mandibles?"
  (Dentir Longtooth looks around.)
[Calti begins to walk south toward the Tor Inn at this point.]
  Calti Pouder yells, "Are you coming, Dentir, or should I go get a nap
without you?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh... we'll need a corpse for demonstration."
  Ippon says, "Dentir is busy accepting new students"
  Dentir Longtooth yells, "I'm going to show a couple more people how to
remove mandibles, so we can have a supply later."
  Calti Pouder yells, "OK! I'll come back when there are enough
mandibles to make a couple of doses of kyten powder!"
  Calti Pouder yells, "Good luck with these... people."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Those myrms worked pretty well, and that big
blue arachne was okay too."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's kyten! Wonderful stuff. Very valuable,
too, if you have the right buyer."
  Relkin says, "What does it do? :)"
  J'nder asks, "What can you use it for?"
  Lundar asks, "Kyten?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "That's right."

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, we have a buyer already."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's used for all kinds of things."
  Ippon says, "Please tell me it is not an aphrodisiac"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Ah, there we go, something to show you all
on."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Bring it on over."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Now, who wants to see how to remove the
mandibles properly?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Gather around, if you want a demonstration."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Who wants to learn these exercises?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Now, let's see here..."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "All right, here's how it's done."

  (Dentir Longtooth kneels by the corpse and carefully removes its
mandible.)
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Did everyone see that?"
[After several more demonstrations, Dentir asks to move to a hut to
begin training others.]
  Koric asks, "Would you rather stay in a hut by yourself or with some
other trainers?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, I don't want to share a hut unless it's
absolutely necessary."
[Koric leads Dentir to Troilus' hut in the North farms.]
  Koric says, "This is the hut where some trainers live."
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Looks pretty run-down."
  Koric says, "I'm not sure of any others that are open."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Maybe something in another farm? Off east,
perhaps."

  (Rafiki points to the east farms... several there)
  Koric says, "We have some huts in the east farms, yes."
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "I do so enjoy the sunrise."
  Koric says, "This way."
[We lead Dentir to the westernmost hut in the northern half of East
farms and he begins training others.]
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hail, Destian. You have much to learn."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can teach you how to recover the mandibles
of some kinds of creatures."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You will learn as you practice."

#####
DEPARTING EXILES
BY KIRIEL D'SOL THE SYLVAN

Winds of Dawn and Hearts of Tan have been hit lately by treasured
members leaving the lands. It's quite sad to lose loved ones and we do
hope they'll return soon. I hope that other clans are not suffering the
same fate right now.

The Winds of Dawn's Membership Coordinator Arteress Lai (better known
as Lilly) is taking an extended leave from life in Puddleby. Her post
on the clan messageboard can be found at:
http://www.windsofdawn.org/forum/showthread.html?threadid=352

The Hearts of Tan is losing Aethelred, seemingly for good (although
we're crossing our fingers that it will be temporary). This is also a
blow to Winds of Dawn, as Aethelred was our ambassador to Tan and a
good friend of the clan. His post on the Tan clan messageboard can be
found at:
http://boards.eesite.com/board.cgi?boardset=tanheart&boardid=news&
thread=25

  - Kiriel

#####
SKINNING IN THE FOOTHILLS
BY GORTON

(Many exiles have reported that skinning in the Foothills has been
quite lucrative.  The following is a report from Gorton on his
experiences.
  - Para)

Gorton's Wendecka Skinning Records

Greetings!
With all the buzz about the Foothills and the many types of wendeckas
to be skinned there, several exiles have asked me what some of my
records have been.  So here is a quick list to give you an idea of what
is possible with the right training.

White Wendecka 11c
Night Wendecka 15c
Day Wendecka 42c
Dusk Wendecka 67c
Dawn Wendecka 126c
Midnight Wendecka 133c
Large Midnight Wendecka 161c

Of course, not all will see such results. Only the most dedicated of
skinners can prevent ruining such skins entirely.  Hunter, my fellow
skinning compadre on the last raid, also was very successful. But even
he admitted to missing a few.  I hope to see some of these records fall
over the next few zodiacs as I plan to return on the next raid.

Remember, if ya need training in the art of skinning, I'd be happy to
teach you a few of my more valuable lessons.

  - Gorton, proud member of the Brotherhood of Independents and a
skinning trainer

#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Deadmeat the friendly undine sometimes drops some of his body parts on
my front lawn on his way to work in the morning. What's the polite way
to handle this situation?

      Troubled Exile

A: Dear Troubled:

I always wrap the parts completely and leave them at his front door
anonymously, to minimize embarassment all around.

---

Q: Hey Thoomboy:

What is the best way to dispose of a dead exile? And don't forget to
help keep your friendly neighborhood witch green.

      Prue, er, Brue, yeah that's it, Brue

A: Dear uh, "Brue":

Try the conference room; no one ever goes in there. Just stack'em like
cordwood and send Chum the bill.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Did you steal the idea for an advice column from me or from Prue?

      Slif

A: Dear "Slif":

Neither you nor Prue ever submitted your columns. So, I decided to
revive my old "Ask the Thoom" forum, which used to be broadcast over
the sunstone network before the Ripture War.

---

Q: Goode Doctor Thoom:

Your professional advice will be much appreciated, deare friend. There
be this sylvan with whom I am besmitten, but it doth seem that our
relationship is to be doomed by the fickle goddess of Fortune. My heart
lies broken, torn asunder. Verily, it be true. Alas. Woe. [And so on,
edited for length. -Ed.] What can I do to heal my shattered soul and
cure a broken heart?

      Ye Olde Knighte

A: Deare Mr. Knighte:

Get a dog.

---

Q: Hey Mr. Thoom!

I keep falling all the time.  Any suggestions?

      Simian

A: Dear Simian:

Hunting with groups and with good healers can help reduce the frequency
of those painful mishaps. Remember: ThoomCare recommends never fighting
when severely wounded.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

My cloak fits me very poorly. How can I assure a snugger fit?

      Turf the Dorf

A: Dear Turf:

Stilts.

---

Q: Excuse me, Mr. Thoom,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Wendie Roll Pop?

      Rael the Squonk

A: Dear Mr. Squonk:

Let's see. One, two, three...CRUNCH.  Three.

---

Q: Dear Paramedic:

Is Papa Thoom a certified physician?

      Deadmeat

A: Dear Deadmeat,

Oh, he's certified, alright.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Bones Opens Up the Spigot
Malkor: Through the Years
Tarf the Dwarf: Menace or Maniac?
Worf and Worg: Differences Explained
Wendeckas in the Mist: An Account of the Foothills
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

Doctor, doctor, give me the news
I've got a bad case of lovin' you
  - John Moon Martin

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Will you be training with Dentir
Longtooth to learn how to extract
mandibles?


   o Yes, I want a new source of income
   o No, I don't think it's worth it
   o What are mandibles?


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

The next issue of Fishwrap Magazine is coming to your front
porch in the next few days.

Unfortunately, there have been very few submissions lately.
If things don't get better soon, we'll be scraping the
bottom of the barrel and running:

* Malkor's baby pictures
* Sleipnir's laundry list
* Chum's very special collection of bakery receipts
* Super Chicken's list of feathers, sorted by location
* The ThoomCare in-house corporate brochure
* An itemized list of Narse's rocks and minerals collection

Please help save us from these articles.

Fishwrap needs more clan profiles, interviews and articles.
Also, a piece on new things since the last chaos storm.
Someone should do an investigative report on this whole
mandible thing, for example.

Para


=====
---
Paramedic the Thoom      mikeswanson_98@...

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Our last, best hope for peace"

Issue #37: "Crash, Bang, Splort, Yazack"
[April 12, 2001]
Circulation: 150

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Webscrolly-thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html
* Paramedic's Notebook: Fire Drake battle pictures now available
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/
* ClanLords:
   http://www.clanlords.com

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Rizal the Thoom, ThoomCare member, is now a third circle healer
* Mystara, Cradlesong, and Tara have become ThoomCare Affiliates
* Gift shop is open
* Room discovered in the Muddy North Forest rose

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Logs provide a way to escape Umbion's Isle?
* The mysterious Doikk
* Foothills expeditions continue
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Exiles travel Dal'Noth Island
* Horus healing and teaching
* Chamelopod Forest rescues
* Gigantic Feral Swarm
* "Two logs of wood and a barrel full of tar"
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Travels to the Ethereal Plane
* Sutai's workout
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_172_14_30 on 82 Spring, 541 at 15:29..."
Clerus says, "Alknelt accused Infectus of attempted kidnapping of Algy,
a defenceless...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 51 minutes in jail, 237c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_184_14_05 on 4 Summer, 541 at 14:58..."
Clerus says, "Delirium accused Malkor of murdering Bouncy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_200_17_41 on 20 Summer, 541 at 18:41..."
Clerus says, "Zephyrus accused Richard Simmons of disturbing the town
quite a bit..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 116 minutes in jail, 478c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_205_10_14 on 25 Summer, 541 at 10:58..."
Clerus says, "Dr Malthus accused Moe of Assault and Attempted
Murder..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Election results:
#181: Should the town square of Puddleby be remodeled to look more
inviting?
32 (49%): Yes, I'm sick of sitting in mud!
4 (6%): No, I love soiling myself...
21 (32%): Maybe, it depends on how it might look.
3 (5%): None of the above
2 (3%): None of the above
3 (5%): Abstain
#182: What should the Island Umbrion dwells on be called?
7 (11%): "Damn, I Got Killed By an LSW" Island ("DIGCBaLSW"I)
5 (8%): "Island Whose Name We Cannot Agree On Though It Should Be Short
and Concise" (IWNWCAOTISBSaC)
7 (11%): "Evil Place of Pyromaniac (not to be confused with the exile
Pyromaniac) Brother of Tenebrion" (EPoP(ntbcwteP)BoT)
38 (59%): None of the above
7 (11%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Algernon, Aival, Amarais
Fina."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Algernon."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans continue to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have one
from the Hearts of Tan.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Nuba Yo!

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW: TYKING II
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic asks, "How are you getting along with Tenebrion these days?"
Tyking II says, "I have to admit, it's not as good as when you first
interviewed me"
Tyking II says, "He's lied to me..."
Paramedic asks, "Oh really?"
Paramedic says, "Hm"
Tyking II says, "Gotten me killed, and showed no care"
Paramedic says, "That's not good"
Tyking II says, "And he hasn't contacted me in a LONG time"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think something has happened to him?"
Tyking II says, "No..."
Tyking II says, "If something happened to Tenebrion, someone would
notice"
Tyking II says, "His guards are fine"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think is keeping him occupied?"
Tyking II says, "Perhaps he is trying to strengthen the spells of
protection around his other brother's islands"
Tyking II says, "Which one, I do not know"
Paramedic says, "Hrmmm."
Tyking II says, "Maybe Lugubrion"
Paramedic asks, "What is your impression of Umbrion?"
(Tyking II covers his mouth)
Tyking II says, "Oops"
Tyking II says, "I wasnt supposed to say that.."
Tyking II says, "Ah well"
Paramedic asks, "Lugubrion?"
Tyking II asks, "Umbrion?"
Tyking II asks, "Lugubrion?"
Tyking II says, "Who's Lugubrion?"
Tyking II says, "I don't know any Lugubrion"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Tyking II asks, "What was the next question?"
Paramedic asks, "ok then, what do you think of Umbrion?""
Tyking II asks, "Umbrion?"
Paramedic says, "yes, Umbrion"
Tyking II asks, "UmBrIoN?"
Tyking II asks, "UMBRION?"
Paramedic says, "Yeah, Umbrion"
Tyking II yells, "DIE UMBRION!"
Tyking II asks, "That answer your question?"
Paramedic says, "You don't seem to like him much"
Tyking II says, "Oh ya, oh ya"
Tyking II says, "I despise his very being"
Paramedic asks, "Is he evil?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "So should exiles go to Umbion's Island?"
Tyking II says, "In very large numbers, yes"
Tyking II says, "I want him dead"
Tyking II says, "And his keep destroyed"
Tyking II exclaims, "His guards, dead!"
Paramedic asks, "So you think he is that bad?"
Tyking II exclaims, "Worse than bad!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Despicable!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Horrible!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Terrible!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Zipzoopazorrible!"
Paramedic says, "That's not good"
Tyking II says, "He wants to burn down Puddleby"
Tyking II says, "And trust me, he can"
(Tyking II rubs the burn mark on his arm)
Tyking II says, "Umbrion gave me that"
Paramedic says, "That looks painful"
Tyking II says, "You betcha"
Tyking II says, "I'm standing in the conference room waiting"
Tyking II says, "And suddenly..."
Tyking II exclaims, "KABOOM!"
Tyking II says, "A stream of fire hits me and burns me to a crisp"
Paramedic says, "That is definitely bad"
Paramedic asks, "Tyking, have you been to Umbrion's Island?"
Tyking II says, "No."
Paramedic asks, "You consider Umbrion's Island dangerous?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
(Paramedic nods)
Tyking II says, "Very much so"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion warned me of it..."
Tyking II says, "Before Puddleby even knew about Umbrion's Island"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "Do you know anything about the other brothers?"
Tyking II says, "A few things"
Tyking II says, "I know their names"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "That they each have their own islands"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "That they can kill someone beyond departablility"
Paramedic says, "Ack, that would be bad"
Tyking II says, "And that they would have killed me had I been present
during the 'brion meeting."
Tyking II says, "That's about it."
Paramedic asks, "So they have threatened you in the past?"
Tyking II says, "Yes."
Tyking II says, "They are not as friendly as Tenebrion."
Paramedic says, "Ah, I see."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think Tenebrion is still conducting experiments
with Purgatory?"
Tyking II says, "He hasn't mentioned it lately"
Paramedic says, "That's interesting"
Paramedic asks, "Maybe they never worked out?"
Tyking II says, "I think he's trying to do something about the things
we're doing to the Ethereal Plane"
Paramedic asks, "He does not like exiles going to the Ethereal plane?"
Tyking II says, "I don't know"
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been on an Ethereal Plane trip?"
Tyking II says, "I went on one, but never got to the plane itself"
Paramedic says, "Same here."
Tyking II says, "I have contacts who have been there though"
Paramedic asks, "What did they tell you?"
Tyking II says, "They informed me of what happened during the trips"
Tyking II says, "About the ethereal sword"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "The monsters that lurk on the plane..."
Paramedic says, "It sounds quite dangerous there"
Tyking II says, "The pentagon snells, which I think is of a greater
importance than they think"
Paramedic asks, "oh really?"
Tyking II says, "It's the small things that make a big difference"
Paramedic asks, "So you recommend checking those out more?"
Tyking II says, "Yes."
(Paramedic makes a note of that)
Paramedic says, "Ok, one last question...."
(Tyking II nods)
Paramedic asks, "Where do you think things are ultimately going with
Puddleby and Tenebrion and his brothers? A big confrontation?"
Tyking II says, "One word."
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "Kaboom."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think exiles are prepared?"
Tyking II says, "Crash, bang, splort, yazack, the basic idea"
Tyking II says, "Nope"
Tyking II says, "Not at all"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think they could become prepared? Do they have
a chance?"
Tyking II says, "They have no idea how powerful Umbrion is"
Tyking II says, "They could..."
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "Maybe the shield holds the key..."
Paramedic asks, "Which shield?"
Tyking II says, "A Tenebrionic shield"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion has gotten Dan'dura'a to make one for me"
Paramedic asks, "Hm, to fend off Tenebrion?"
Paramedic asks, "Do you have it already?"
Tyking II says, "Nope"
Paramedic asks, "But you hope to get it soon?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic says, "Excellent. Let us know how that works out."
Tyking II says, "And when I do, I'll notify the fishwrap first :-)"
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview, Tyking. As always it was
very interesting"
Tyking II says, "Thank you."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

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In the interests of lowering Puddleby's rate of scurvy the Puddleby
Navy has launched an aggressive new health campaign.

All citizens are entitled to a free full body poke and check-up, teeth
scraping and a general limb tugging to make sure they are still
attached firmly. The official Naval Physician, Dr Tessa, will also
provide a free citrus thing.

Did Vagile say free??? Yes!!! The Puddleby Navy in underwriting this
health issue all out of its own funds. Any citizen is entitled to a
free check-up. Vagile will however accept voluntary donations to assist
this massively expensive undertaking.

Vagile would like to urge all Navy members to set a good example and
get their check-ups done early to set an excellent example to the rest
of the citizenary.

#####
CLAN PROFILE: THE HEARTS OF TAN
EXCERPTS FROM AN INTERVIEW WITH KARKRAS TANHEART
BY CALCHAS

Calchas: How did the Hearts of Tan come to be?

Karkras: Before the Hearts of Tan, there was the Tan Team. Five of us
newly-exiled bumped into each other one evening and headed off to the
hive together. We had fought our way through a nearly endless wave of
myrms, when we looked at each other and saw we were all wearing Tan
clothes.  We were proud of our accomplishment, as bloody and out of
breath as we were, the hive's denizens were so much cracked carapace at
our feet.  At that moment, some common thread in our lives and fates
intersected, and as if with a single voice, we all cried "Tan Team!"
At that instant, though we didn't know it at the time, was the genesis
of the Heart of Tan.

Calchas: You say that as if the Heart of Tan is an entity that was
born.

Karkras: I believe that. The Heart of Tan is greater than any one of
us; it is greater than the sum of us. The Heart of Tan more even, than
a synergy of our collected spirits.  It is an ideal; it is an energy;
it is hope and optimism; it is fidelity, honor, and fellowship; it is
reason and reward. When we declare that our "Hearts beat Tan," it means
that we are infused by these principles... A Heart of Tan does more
than carry our lifeblood -- it gives our lives meaning, our spirits
hope, and our paths direction.

Calchas: After the genesis, how did the Tan Team become the Hearts of
Tan?

Karkras: We told each other that we should found a clan but we didn't
know the hows, whos, or whats. We had a lot of questions, but few
answers. Because of this, the idea languored for a little while, even
though we were exploring and discovering together every day.  We all
wanted the clan to be "democratic," but no one stepped forward with a
comprehensive, unified vision.  It was then that I realized that the
Heart of Tan was what unified us, so I drafted up the original Tan
Project scroll which attempted to define ourselves and our principles.
Some of the Tan Team thought the document was heavy-handed,
undemocratic, and hypocritical, so they left us. The remaining Tan Team
ratified the vision and we worked hard over the next couple of weeks to
raise the money for the founding fees.  We did accept small
contributions, but we decided not to ask for coins; we wanted the
strength of our convictions to speak for us; with all of us barely-
trained newlings it was a daunting quest, but one that brought us
together, one that made us very proud to accomplish.

Calchas: I heard that the Tan Team almost had a very different destiny.

Karkras: That's true.  At first, with only 7-10 on the Team and no
banner to rally around yet, we took a proposal to the Silver Drakes.
In response, they offered to make the Tan Team a chapter of their clan,
"the Tan Talon." When we inspected this alternative more closely,
however, we realized that we had become a distinct entity, and voted
unanimously to follow our hearts, to become the Hearts of Tan.

Calchas: You began by wearing tan clothes, and your Clan's name and
color is Tan; why don't your members wear Tan?

Karkras: I hear that question so much! I'm glad you asked though.  We
are "the Hearts of Tan"-- we are not "the Clothes of Tan."  For the
same reason that the Winds of Dawn do not go naked flying around on
gusts of wind, and for the same reason that not every member Dwarven
Militia is a dwarf, we do not have to wear cheap tan clothes: we are
unified by a Set of Principles and Ideals, not by a uniform.  All
Dwarven Militia are dwarfs at heart.  We are Tan at Heart!

But it is no coincidence that we are "Tan" and our first shirts on this
island are Tan.  Nearly everyone remembers their first days in
Puddleby, when everything was new and the world was endless, full of
danger and challenge, with beasts to overcome, and a frontier to
explore.  That time is what we Hearts refer to as the "Tan Time": the
sense of wonder and vital excitement that new exiles feel during that
time, the strong bonds of friendship and fellowship that are formed,
the exhilarating surges felt in their hearts as they face danger and
vanquish foes; all these elements of the Tan Time we hold as ideals, we
also hold in our Hearts.  Our actions and our Hearts are what make us
Tan -- not the color of our shirts.

Calchas: You've talked about "the Heart of Tan" as a guiding force, but
how would you describe your Clan itself?

Karkras: Our Clan was founded based on the principles of Fellowship,
Fidelity, and Honor. The Hearts of Tan hold the wonder and excitement
of the newly-exiled as an ideal, and constantly strive to achieve and
maintain this ideal through exploration, embracing and assisting those
new to Lok-Groton, and continuously seeking opportunities, pushing
boundaries & expanding frontiers in both self development and
development of the Clan as a unified, dynamic entity.

Calchas: Does the Hearts of Tan have any special Clan Events or
Activities?

Karkras: We hold a Clan Meeting and Hunt every Zodiac, and a General
Election every other Spring.  Our Chief Treasurer schedules Fund-
Raising Hunts, and our Clan Expeditions Leader plans and schedules
special exploration expeditions (we're currently focused on the secrets
of Devil's Island).  We also have three other Events/Activities in the
works.

Calchas: What is a cross-section of your Clan's Membership?

Karkras: The Hearts of Tan comprise 29 exiles, including 16 fighters,
12 healers, and 1 mystic. All but 6 of us are Second Circle in our
respective Guilds; 5 are still First Circle; the pride of our clan
currently lies with Medissa, who just passed into the Healers' Third
Circle. We have 3 Lords, one of which is a talented Bard.

Calchas: You mentioned earlier that you have other events "in the
works" for the future. Can you share some details?

Karkras: [chuckles] Sure. We are planning a series of HeartQuests for
Tanmates. The first is mainly for New Hearts: the "Egg Run," in which
the New Heart must retrieve an egg from the Hive. The second involves
our "Mirror-Rose Circuit" race. The third involves the "Tan Lok-Groton
Lore Challenge."  Other ideas we have been throwing around involve a
"Gauntlet" run, a Relay-Drinking contest, Scroll-Writing, and Puzzle
Challenge. Tanmates who are successful in the various HeartQuests will
receive a special medal.  Oh, and we hope to take part in the Dun'ilsar
competitions one day soon.

Calchas: Where can an exile find the Hearts of Tan Webscrolls?

Karkras: They are easily accessable at http://www.tanhearts.org

Calchas: Thank you for talking with me today, Karkras!

Karkras: My Pleasure, Calchas! May the Tan Light forever Illuminate
your Path.

#####
FISHWRAP FISHCTION

This issue we have two entries of fiction from exiles.

First, "Exiled", Part One, by Odesseus.  Then a story by Leogic.

EXILED
BY ODESSEUS

Prologue

T'rryll cursed quietly as he rubbed the lump on his head. A loud bang
had awoken him from his sleep, causing him to sit bolt upright in this
confined area, resulting in cracking his head on a low beam. The boat
creaked and rolled, as it had done for the past two weeks. T'rryll
strained to open his gummy eyes. Dim light filtered through a couple of
cracks in  the deck above, casting a vague light about his small hiding
space. He tried to swallow, his tongue coated and swollen.

More bangs and loud shouts came down to him. A dim hope of getting off
this reeking, rocking prison rekindled in his breast. Fresh air!
Sunlight! Water by the gallon! Such dim dreams they seemed to be. But
the noise died down and his hope died with it.

How he arrived here was a folly of errors. He shook his head at his
predicament as he settled down to return to sleep.

Chapter 1

Their journey started out simply enough. He and seven others headed
east, the rolling hills of his homeland giving way to open desert. In a
couple of weeks, this in turn came to forest that contained small
hamlets filled  with people of different races. They were so unlike his
own. Trryll had seen some before near his home, but very few. It made
him uncomfortable.  Their hairless bodies and rubbery faces seemed
repulsive. Add to that their flat, harsh speech in a language that
Tryll could barely understand gave him an impression that these races
were unsophisticated, even though he was told otherwise. They had,
after all, conquered his own homeland hundreds of years ago, uniting
the land in an oppressive monarchy called the Ascendency.

The small band threaded their way carefully though the forests,
speaking to those who knew of their purpose, being guided by their
information.  Their task was a treacherous one, for at any turn
sympathizers to the Ascendency might give them up to the authorities.
Bounty was to be had for such deeds, vile as they were. They pressed
on, cautiously, fearing the worst at every step.

What they sought was straightforward, but not simple to be had. A few
of their kin had disappeared, important members of a secret clan who
were also part of an underground insurgency to overthrow the Emperor
Mobius, the leader of the Ascendency. They had gone out on a journey to
meet with other members of the group and had not returned. To find them
and, if possible, to help them get back was their goal.

Arr'n was their leader, a middling-aged fen with keen eyes. She alone
knew where they were headed, who to talk to. Trryll and the half-dozen
others were along as protectors and facilitators. They knew nearly
nothing of their mission, only to stand in the way of anything that may
try to harm Arr'n and, with their own lives, allow her to escape. If
they were captured, they knew nothing to divulge no matter the torture.
Arr'n, too, was expendable, for if she were captured she would take her
own life to protect others.

For many weeks they made their way east, sleeping in barns and hollows
in the ground, their cloaks pulled around them where they approached
other  people, taking the guise of wandering monks,ever watchful. They
kept their distance, hiding their differences deep in their hoods. Fen
do not wander these parts idly, and their appearance could easily lead
to  suspicion. Suspicion would inevitably lead to capture.

Eventually, the trail they followed led them to the east coast of the
continent. How far they had come! Trryll raised his nose and deeply
inhaled the salt-tanged air. They must be nearing the mission's end.
How much further could they go? They approached the outskirts of a
small port town and set up camp, meager as it was.

It seemed like a simple task. Slip into town, find a certain shop and
obtain a small scroll containing some information and return. Arrn had
asked Trryll to do this because he was one of the smaller of the group
and may attract the least attention.

Head down and hood pulled over, shuffling his step, paws tucked into
sleeves, Trryll made his way along the streets. Some of the inhabitants
mumbled greetings, mistaking him for some religious person. He nodded
his head slightly in acknowledgement. He kept his tail carefully
wrapped about one leg, even though it wanted to twitch with the tension
he felt.

Finally coming into the desired shop, he slipped inside the open door.
Behind the counter was a portly human male, idly flipping through a
small bound volume. He looked up as Trryll entered.

"Ah, good day, friar, how may I help you?"

Trryll replied with a set phrase. "I'm here about the Vethpian orb," he
lisped softly in the common tongue.

The man nodded once quickly, slipped from around the counter and closed
and locked the shop door. Trryll was instantly alert.

"Just so we won't be disturbed," the shopkeeper said, as if sensing
Trryll's alarm. "I have what you seek. But first... are you Fen'neko?"

Trryll winced slightly at the horrible mispronunciation of his race's
name, but nodded.

"Please," the man said, "I've never seen a fen. Would it be too much to
ask?"

Trryll considered this a moment and looked at the single, small window
in the shop. It was shuttered. Reaching up, he pulled back his hood. He
raised his flattened ears. His large, green eyes glittered in the dim
light. The human gave a slight gasp.

"You look just like a cat!" exclaimed the man.

Trryll raised a lip and snarled slightly as he pulled the hood back
over his head. "I come not here be insulted." His eyes glowed at the
shopkeeper from the depths of the hood.

The shopkeeper waved his hands to try and placate Trryll, "Oh, I'm
sorry, sorry! I know how fen hate that comparison. It was a slip. Your
features are quite striking. As I said, I'd never seen a fen before.
Your people rarely leave your homeland. I've heard traveler's tales
only."

The shopkeeper bowed slightly. "Thank you for your indulgence, and
please pardon this foolish man."

Trryll inclined his head as the man slipped back behind the counter. "I
have the scroll right here. I must say, things have been odd around
town lately." The fellow was in a chatty mood, possibly trying to make
up for his egregious error.

"Normally, we only get a couple of trade ships in every zodiac. You
know, the usual stuff, food, drink, some metals and the like. Well,
lately, things have changed."

The shopkeeper leaned forward on the counter and lowered his voice.
"Black ships have been coming into our little port. Quite large ones.
They buy up a large amount of supplies and stand in port for a few
days.  Then, when the night turns moonless, they slip out to sea."

Trryll's curiosity and confusion must have registered even within his
hood, for the shopkeep nodded slightly. "Aye, mysterious, eh? And what
is even more mysterious is the rumor that the final cargo for the ship
is loaded just before it sets sail, under the same moonless dark." The
shopkeeper lowered his voce even further, "They say that cargo is
people!"

"Err?" responded Trryll drawing back, "Sssslavesss?"

The shopkeeper shrugged. "Some say..."

A muffled knock from the back of the back of the shop interrupted the
man's theorizing. "Ah, I'm expecting a small delivery. Please wait just
a moment while I attend to it." The shopkeeper opened a door to a
backroom  and shut it after he passed through.

The young fen was getting restless of this endless chatter, wanting to
fulfill his small duty and return to his friends. But he waited
patiently, his eyes roaming about the room looking at the dreary goods.

The door was suddenly flung open and Trryll jerked his head up. A
strangled cry came from the backroom and the shopkeeper flew backwards
through the door, crashing into the counter and knocking it over. A
sharp tang came to Trryll's nose as a huge figure ducked through the
door and  stood as upright as it could. It still crouched in the shop
to keep from  hitting its head on the ceiling. Now it was Trryll's turn
to gape.

The Ghorak Zo glowered at Trryll. Although stooping, Trryll estimated
the being to be nearly eight feet tall. These were the creatures that
aided  Emperor Mobius in bringing about his homeland's downfall,
brought from some alien land far away. It was the first time he had
seen one. The Zo dominated the confined space. "I'll have a word with
you," it rumbled, as it stepped over the unconscious body of the
shopkeeper.

Trryll slashed with his extended claws at the arm that reached toward
him. The Zo recoiled in pain and shock. "You little vermine!" it
yelled, then bellowed an ear shattering roar and tried to grab the fen.
Trryll dove under the huge arms and sprang through the small window.
Wood and glass splintering as he rolled to his feet outside the shop.
Another Zo waiting in the alley spotted him and bellowed "You there!
Stop!"

His tattered cloak flying behind him, Tryll let out a raging snarl to
clear his way as he ran out of the alley and through the crowds of
townspeople. A woman screamed and dropped her load at the sight of him.
The people stared at he sped by them. From behind him one of the Zo's
yelled "Stop that creature!" but none got in his way.

Pelting down alleyways, Trryll could hear his pursuers hot on his
trail.  Although he twisted and turned, the Ghorak Zo seemed to know
where he was headed. He remembered hearing something abut Zo having a
keen sense of smell, as well. They were tracking him.

The alley he was following opened out onto a dock. Piles of goods were
stacked, ready to be loaded onto a waiting ship. The ship was black.
Trryll cursed silently to himself as he swung up a dock rope and landed
quietly on the deck. A few sailors were milling about but none had
spotted him. An open hatchway beckoned. He soundlessly sped down the
stairs, quickly testing doors as he went. At the end of the short hall
one opened to a well-appointed cabin with a wide sweep of small windows
set into the back wall looking out over the harbor. Quickly casting
about he spotted a small bookcase up on the front wall that was
slightly ajar, revealing a compartment behind it.  He slipped into the
small space and pulled the bookcase nearly closed.

Trryll quieted his breathing and tried to calm his pounding heart as he
sat in the gloom, pushing himself as far back from the opening as
possible. For the small opening, the space was fairly large, about four
times his size, but low ceilinged. Small casks and boxes filled a good
deal of the space. Quietly shifting some of the boxes to shield himself
from a direct view of the opening, he settled down to wait for a while.
He hoped the Zo would lose his trail and allow him to slip back out and
away. He will have failed his mission, but kept his life.

Fairly soon he heard footsteps coming his way. Trryll heard the door to
the cabin open and close, then a distinct sound of a lock being turned.
The occupant distractedly hummed as he busied himself about the
quarters.  Trrylll breathed very shallowly as he glimpsed the form of a
human male pass back and forth in front of the open slit of the
bookcase.

From above, Trryll heard the growling rumble of the Ghorak Zo.
Apparently  they had followed his trace to the ship, or perhaps,
thought it was a likely spot he might have hidden. The young fen's
heart sped up again at  the prospect of meeting up with those giants.
Apparently the human had heard it as well, for the humming suddenly
stopped.

Hard-soled feet hammered down the galleyway and came up short to the
locked door. There was a knock. "Captain!" came a muffled voice, "There
are some bounty hunters up here looking for someone. They want to talk
to you. They seem like they're in a big hurry."

The captian swore under his breath, "Zos! They'll be the death of me,
yet!" Raising his voice the captain replied, "Very well! Tell them I'll
be up momentarily!"

"Aye, captain," came the reply and the feet quickly retreated back up
the galleyway.

Muttering to himself, the captain hastily moved about the cabin,
gathering things up. The opening to the compartment was suddenly thrown
wide open, and Trryll quickly ducked down behind the boxes. Books,
rolled up charts and a couple of small boxes were uncermoniously dumped
into the compartment, then the door shut, enclosing him in near-total
darkness.  Trryll's breath stopped short as he heard the sound of two
locking bolts  being driven home and things piled on the bookcase
outside. He was in the captain's secret compartment, locked away.
Trryll felt sick at his misfortune.

Unlocking the cabin door, the captain's footsteps retreated up the
galleyway. Muffled voices of humans and Zo could be heard. Trryll
silently crept over the boxes and felt the wall where the opening had
been. It was hard wood, the join of the jamb and the door exceedingly
tight. Trryll gingerly extended a claw into the tight space. The bolt
was deeper than he could reach. He pushed gently against the door. It
felt as strong as the wall it was set into. Trryll cursed at himself
quietly as he slunk back into his protected corner.

Voices rose in argument from above, and the rumble of the Zos turned
into bellows. A large crash sounded and the ship shuddered. The sound
of the human voice turned obsequious and the Zos calmed down. Soon,
heavy footsteps came down the galleyway. Doors to cabins were thrown
open and closed soon after. The muffled voice of the captian explained
each of the crew's quarters. The captain came to his own quarters.

"And here," the captain said, opening the cabin door, "are my quarters.
I can assure you gentlemen, er, Zos, that there is nothing out of the
ordinary." The Zos prowled about the cabin briefly.

"Show us the hold," demanded one Zo.

"Certainly," the captain said, "But my crew has been loading cargo into
it all morning long. They would have spotted anyone attempting to enter
it, no matter what kind of stealth you say they have."

"What is your business?'" demanded the other of the Zos.

"That, sirs," the captain replied as he closed the door behind the
retreating party, "Is between me and the Emperor."

Trryll's heart froze as the cabin door clicked softly shut.

---

A STORY
BY LEOGIC CHRYSTALIS
Clan Lord and Puddleby © 2001 Delta Tao

A human named James, like many others, began his life as an exile, not
by choice. Through defending himself and his family from band of
cutthroat thieves, killing one.  James was arrested for murder by the
town's Sheriff, an Agent for the Ascendancy, and local crime boss.

After several weeks at sea, James and others, barely clothed, half-
starved and with no means to defend themselves, where unshackled,
brought on deck of the prison galley, and dumped on the dock of
Puddleby Island.  Somewhat dazed, he and his fellow prisoners where
instructed to report into town, or simply die, preferably the latter.
James and the 10 out of 14 others who survived the long journey trudged
toward town walls, and past the gates where they where suggested to
move as quickly past as possible and to the town square by a large
Ghorak Zo.  James had heard of these folk, but had never seen one, he
quickly followed the burly looking guard's orders.  Once he was deeper
into town, he was shocked to find how well dressed the exiled prisoner
where, and how well fed they looked. He also noticed what a variety of
folk there where to behold.  He had never even seen a Thoom or a Sylvan
or many outside his own species before, having rarely needed to leave
his farm back home.

A Halfling, seeing that his group where new arrivals and half starved
ushered them over to a nearby tavern and offered the group some food.
The Halfling-who introduced himself as Mortimer the Tailor-carried on
how horrible how little food they offered prisoners and commented that
he was STILL making up for his journey on the boat, patting his rotund
belly.  Halfway into the meal they where joined by a rather tall well
armed Thoomish lady, sporting a rather threadbare black belt to which
Mortimer offered to repair, but was politely refused.  She joined them
for a dinner of fresh rock-cod and greens.   She introduced herself as
Lelerin, giving assistance to Mortimer on directing James and his
fellow new exiles to visit town hall where he could be provided with a
weapon and better clothing.

James asked her about the belt,  and why it was so threadbare.  She
explained to him that in her old town, the solder's never washed their
belts, and that over time, it grew black.  She explained in a somewhat
sad and melodramatic manner that 'due to the smell and it being an
unwholesome habit' they insisted that she use one dyed black, though
she let it grow threadbare to show its age and her experience.

When James arrived at the town hall, Leterin introduced him town
officer in charge of local Human relations and bid him good luck.  The
officer gave him a descent change of clothes tan and sackcloth.  The
officer also introduced him to the local weapon-master who issued James
a club, crude yet effective. The weapons-master further instructed
James that the town was constantly under assault by beasts of all
sorts. Clubus further informed James that he would be expected to do
his part to keep the town running though combat or healing or some
other useful skill. His first task was to help maintain the rat towers
to the west, which had always had a little rodent problem, though he
should first visit master Bodius or Brackus to first learn basic
combat.

Bodius, whose main job, when not training Exiles on the finer point of
physical fitness and basic dodging and striking techniques, could
usually be found maintaining the altar room, which of course was where
James found him.  Bodius issued James a few basic pointers about how to
hold a weapon, basic striking disciplines, how often to perform
exercises, and which ones where the most beneficial.  James was then
ushered out the door, as Bodius seemed preoccupied with a small blue
book, though pointing him in the direction of the western guard towers
first.  To James's surprise these 'little rodents', Clubus had earlier
mentioned, turned out to be 2 foot long giant Rats with razor sharp
teeth and beady little black eyes, reeking of unwholesome filth and
decay.

James maintained the tower for several weeks, learning the ins and outs
of fighting rats and how to dodge their attacks. Leaping away and
striking out when the rat was off balance making goes at his throat or
legs.

A few weeks later, James was eating his supper of fresh-fish and tubers
and berries he greeted by an old man by the name of Fistus.

The old man sat down in front of James, who smiled and nodded in
recognition, though curious, as to whom this individual was now sat
before him chattering on in small conversation about the town, the
horrid vermine, and how cheap Mr. Bountypay was.

"You're new in town, though not so new, son" said the old man.  "The
name's Fistus. Used to be a soldier, from before the times of the
emperor.  Was a veteran of the Darshak War.  I run the fighters' guild
round here."

"Why do they call you Fistus?" James replied.

Fistus held up his gnarled hands, to which had looked like they had
been broken many, many times

"Because of these, before the inquisitor had me sent here, he had my
hands shattered, healed, and shattered again, twenty times over, till
they thought they wouldn't work anymore.  Not that it mattered, just
made 'em tougher."  Fistus looked grim, recalling the memory of his
torture, flexing his hands slowly repeatedly.  James could hear the
tendons stretch and bones crackle slightly as the old timer did this.

"I've been watching you lately for the last few weeks, I think you
would make an excellent fighter.  You got what it takes to perhaps even
rival Eveus or myself someday.  Here, take this."  Fistus placed a
heavy, leather-sheathed, ebon handled, knife in James' hand.

"We would appreciate your help as a fighter you will be trained in the
art of war and combat, and as a huntsman to retrieve wild game.  This
is just the beginning, son.  A great opportunity."

"Um, ok, uh what do I do?" James looked at his dagger, and hefting it a
few times testing its weight and balance."

"Go to the fighter's hall, northeast of town when you can.  Show your
blade to the guard and he'll letcha' in."

James agreed to be a "fighter" for the town. His new weapon, an 8 inch
hunting knife, was rather useful, as well as sharp. He found that rats,
as well as myrm where slain with greater ease by its sharp blade.  He
was asked to help clear myrm a week into clearing rats, much to his
chagrin.  He was fearful of the dire ant creatures, wanting to keep his
hands and arms intact, though he quickly learned that most where slow
and stupid.  Usually when he saw a one of the rarer-though swift-guard
myrm, he would flee like a bat out of hell.

Before he had met Fistus occasionally tried to explore, but was turned
back buy a rather stubborn doorman. James displayed his new dagger to
the guard, whom nodded his head and pointed toward the large twin
wooden door of the Fighters' Guild complex. Inside was somewhat
disappointing, several rough looking individuals gave him sideways
glances and carried on their conversations. James approached a rather
plainly dressed fighter in the back who was picking his sharp teeth
with a toothpick.

"Name's Atkus," the man said, "you came to learn?

"Learn? Learn what, sir?" replied James

"I can train you to use that pigsticker you have there, son" Atkus
chortled. "Don't want you hacking off a few of your own fingers in
combat, do you?"

James shook his head, no and continued.

"Sure, what do I... do?" asked James.

Atkus motioned James to follow as he approached the basement door.
Within the basement, Atkus nodded at a few odd looking practice dummies
and wielded his own dagger dagger, adorned and scarred by many years of
combat, though its blade was still honed, and amazingly unnotched.
Atkus told James to stand in front of one.

"First things first, how do you strike at an enemy?" Atkus inquired.

James holding is knife at a downward angle lunged forward at the nearby
dummy, missing it entirely as it leapt out of the way!

"Aargh!" James shouted, his blade implanted in the wall behind the
dummy. Atkus snickered at James' clumsy strike.

"These new ones are getting greener every year" Atkus chuckled
silently.

"Well, kid, you have got a lot to learn, for one thing, you need to be
subtle in your movements when approaching an enemy. Try not to give
away when you are going to strike."

James climbs to his feet and begins to attempt to pry his new blade
from its place in the wall. After a few tries he pulls it free and
focuses on Atkus.

Atkus fold his own dagger up in demonstration of a fighting stance, his
feet placed shoulder width apart and his blade pointing down. He looked
like he was going to punch the dummy, whom was now trying to taunt
Atkus by throwing hay at him and banging on its shield with its wooden
shortsword.

Atkus then glanced at James, winked, and without looking lunged at the
dummy. Before the dummy could react, it found Atkus' dagger planed
firmly between the eyes.

The dummy froze and started mumbling 'oww oww oww' before pulling free,
glaring at Atkus. The dummy, knowing it was no match for the old timer
sat in a corner and began stitching itself up with a needle and thread.

"Its not just about sight, kid, it's about sensing your opponent's
position and listening to his movements. Don't just use your eyes and
brute strength.  You will also find some creatures move a certain way,
and that other creatures are just as smart as we are. The later of
course being the most deadly."  Atkus commented, removed some bits of
hay from his blade's hilt, sheathing it silently in its home on his
belt.

James nodded in agreement and stepped up to another dummy, which was
leaning against a post, looking rather bored. When it saw James, it
perked up and stood in an attack posture.

James, imitating Atkus's fighting stance and glanced at the dummy,
which was now attempting to poke at him with its wooden sword. James
held his blade up and slashed out with its edge at the dummy. The dummy
blocked the strike with its small shield and tried to counterattack
with its sword. James received a smart thump on the side of the head,
but didn't fall to the glancing blow. The strike merely annoyed James
whose determination welled up even further, feeling pleased that he
didn't ENTIRELY miss the dummy.  James stepped back a bit, then edged
forward. When the dummy swung at him, James knocked its wooden sword
aside with his knife and plunged it into its shoulder, causing the
dummy minimal pain. James withdrew his blade, stepping back quickly to
avoid a painful stab in the ribs from the dull wooden sword.  James was
curious as to why the dummy was still standing in front of him grinning
like a lunatic.

"It was a wounding strike, not enough points to make it hurt." Atkus,
as though somehow he could read James's immediate thoughts, "Ok, that's
enough for today, at least you didn't hurt yourself like a lot of
newcomers do.  More than once I've had to drag some slob out of this
place with a concussion or to find that they had cut off their own
fingers." James smiled and thanked Atkus for his help.

"Come back tomorrow, we will discuss your career as a fighter.
Remember, practice what I taught you."

James left the fighters' training area with a new sense of purpose. All
that afternoon he hunted vermine for furs, using the subtle maneuver
Atkus had taught him, as well as improvising the skills his father had
taught him.

By that evening, he had become confident with his lesson, and looked
forward to many more with his new teacher.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, Rising Claw, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"Rule a kingdom as though you were cooking a small fish - don't overdo
it".
  - Lao Tzu

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Bolok Biscuits with it in
the afternoon"

Issue #36: "Kelan and the Sun Dragon Clan"
[March 30, 2001]
Circulation: 149

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Jazz, The Ongoing Adventures
   http://jazz.zeroecho.com
* Mac-arena: The finest macros in town are at CheaCrets Clan Lord!
   http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html
* ClanLords
   http://www.clanlords.com

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rumors of an underground library far to the east
* Most recent orga camp raid did not go well
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Thirty healers needed to raise Kojiro
* Local healer falls in Brambles
* Controversy over whether or not to leave behind Dred Passage fallen
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_144_04_48 on 54 Spring, 541 at 5:34..."
Clerus says, "MilkChocoAngel accused Tarf of abusing the court
system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 71 minutes in jail, 306c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_151_14_17 on 61 Spring, 541 at 15:26..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Tarf of Negligence as a healer and 2nd
Degree Murder...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 51 minutes in jail, 206c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_155_21_03 on 65 Spring, 541 at 22:00..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Sofor of abuse of kindness and ajbect
offensiveness..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 114 minutes in jail, 726c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_163_16_08 on 73 Spring, 541 at 17:12..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Zaroff of intentional spammin with heal
messages..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1121 minutes in jail, 14027c fine
and 0 days banished.

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Algernon, Althus,
Aethelred, Angadol, Achates."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Althus."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans are beginning to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have
one from the Sun Dragon Clan. Other clans should look to the Sun Dragon
Clan's profile for a model.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

In other news, Gubara seems to have lost his mind.

Nuba Yo!

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KELAN THE SYLVAN
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Kelan is a Sylvan, is male, is a Fighter, and is not wearing the symbol
of any clan.
He is holding an axe.
Kelan has 22 good karma.
(Paramedic circles Kelan)
Kelan says, "hello"
(Paramedic circles Kelan)
(Paramedic waves a flipper in greeting.)
(Kelan feels dizzy)
(Kensington smiles.)
Paramedic asks, "How would you like to be interviewed for Fishwrap
Magazine?"
Kelan says, "I think that would be fine"
(Paramedic nods.)
(Kelan smiles)
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions in this interview."
Kelan says, "ok"
Paramedic asks, "1) What are your favorite places to hunt?"
Kelan says, "I like to hunt in 'noids and savannah. I also like to go
on hunts to Snaggy"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "I go to Savannah solo"
Paramedic asks, "Do you usually go to snaggy with a large group?"
Kelan says, "Oh yes. Absolutely"
Kelan says, "I wouldn't go to Snaggy alone"
Kelan says, "But the others, I hunt in groups"
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Do you hunt more for coins or for experience?"
Kelan says, "Besides, it's more fun in a group"
Paramedic says, "Yes, definitely"
Kelan says, "I hunt more for the experience than anything. I don't care
much about money."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "2) What circle of fighter are you?"
Kelan says, "I'm a 3rd circle fighter."
Paramedic says, "Ah, excellent."
Kelan says, "Thankee"
Paramedic asks, "Think you'll make 4th soon?"
Kelan says, "No, I'm not shooting for that yet."
Paramedic says, "It's not easy, I understand"
Kelan says, "I'm trying to broaden my education beyond that of the
fighter disciplines."
Paramedic asks, "What are you focusing your training on these days?"
Kelan says, "I have almost finished the training I want to do with
Loovma Geer."
Paramedic says, "Ah, excellent! I also have studied with Loovma"
(Kelan smiles)
Kelan says, "I'm ready to begin helping exiles in that fashion"
Paramedic says, "I have found he does help to keep my chains from
breaking so often"
Kelan says, "Quite true by my observation"
Paramedic says, "It's made a nice difference. And chains are
expensive....so I appreciate having fewer chain breaks"
Kelan says, "I have found that I also locate more metal because of my
training"
Paramedic asks, "You mean you find it on the ground more often?"
Kelan says, "No, I mean that more of my ore turns out to be metal"
Paramedic exclaims, "Ah!"
Paramedic says, "I find chaining to be a very worthwhile skill."
Paramedic says, "I find it helps me in rescues a lot."
Kelan says, "I think it will be rewarding."
Kelan says, "Not in the monetary sense, but in a more spritual sense, I
suppose."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
Kelan says, "I don't know if spiritual is the right word"
Kelan says, "I mean that I would feel good about myself if I can do
more than kill the monsters"
Kelan says, "I could take other exiles to safety"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes. It's nice to do more than just fend off the
beasts"
Kelan says, "Yes, exactly"
Paramedic asks, "3) Are you now or have you ever been a member of a
clan?"
Koppi yells, "Paramedic reports: Fishwrap #35 now available: Interview
with Bones the Thoom. Read here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/
fishwrapmagazine"
Kelan says, "I am not now a member of any clan, but I was once. It was
before the Ripture War."
Paramedic asks, "Is that clan still around?"
Kelan says, "No, it has long since passed."
Kelan says, "It was more of an association than a clan, I think"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider joining a clan now?"
Kelan says, "I have considered it."
Paramedic says, "but..."
Kelan says, "But I'm not sure if I would do it yet. I don't feel
comfortable about it."
Paramedic asks, "You like being independent?"
Kelan says, "I am used to being on my own. But the friends I have made
here are changing that."
Kelan says, "I feel like I may be in a place I can call home someday."
Paramedic asks, "Who would you say are some of your friends or allies
here in Puddleby?"
Kelan says, "Magnar is my best friend."
Paramedic says, "Ah, Magnar."
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I also run with Zorri and Bullingbrook"
Paramedic says, "Those are fine exiles."
Kelan says, "And Bulgorius is a good friend of mine"
(Paramedic smiles.)
Paramedic asks, "4) What monsters do you prefer to hunt?"
Kelan says, "I like to hunt 'noids and maha. They are both very
challenging to me."
Paramedic says, "Those are two of my favorites also."
Kelan says, "I like to get 'locks too"
Paramedic says, "Savannah is good for maha hunting."
Kelan says, "Oh yes, it certainly is"
Paramedic asks, "Do you go to Orga Camp much?"
Kelan says, "Only when there is a big hunt on."
Kelan says, "I like to assist the healer rods by clearing the orga near
them"
Paramedic asks, "Have you been on any of the Full Moon Orga Camp
raids?"
Kelan says, "I have participated in a few FMOCR"
Kelan says, "I try to do my part"
Jinx says, "mean out there today"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "I've also gone on a couple of Ethereal Plane raids."
Paramedic says, "oh"
Paramedic asks, "how did those go?"
Kelan says, "That is an interesting puzzle."
Paramedic asks, "The Ethereal plane?"
Kelan says, "I don't know how we'll solve it"
Kelan asks, "Yes, how can we get out of the circle of skulls?"
Kelan says, "Into the rest of the Ethereal Plane"
Paramedic asks, "I have not been there yet. What was it like? Many
monsters?"
Kelan says, "It was a situation where tight discipline was required"
Kelan says, "The monsters were plentiful on the path leading to the
Ethereal Plane, but not very threatening"
Paramedic asks, "Were people co-operating?"
Kelan says, "The first time I went, no. We gave up anfter an hour or
so."
Paramedic says, "Argh, that's too bad"
Paramedic asks, "were later trips more successful?"
Kelan says, "The second time, yes. We made it all the way to the
Ethereal plane quite quickly"
Paramedic asks, "but then you get stuck there?"
Kelan says, "Yes, the group is trapped in a circle of skulls, with no
idea how to get past them."
Kelan says, "The monsters on the Ethereal Plane are very nasty"
Paramedic asks, "I have heard they are very nasty. Are they new beasts,
or just stronger ones we have seen before?"
Kelan says, "There was an Astral Drake, I think."
Kelan says, "Something kept shooting lightning at us."
Paramedic says, "Ouch."
Kelan says, "There was also a Guardian in the circle of Skulls. It was
very tough, but we beat it."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think large exploration parties are necessary
to survive there?"
Kelan says, "As long as they remain disciplined, a large party wouldn't
hurt. But a powerful small party could go all the way, I think."
Paramedic says, "I wonder what else could be out there."
Kelan says, "I would like to find out."
Kelan says, "There were all sorts of interesting looking creatures
outside the Circle of Skulls"
Paramedic asks, "Interesting looking, huh?"
Kelan says, "I don't remember what they were called, but the floating
balls of energy looked like they would be challenging"
Paramedic says, "Those sound dangerous."
Kelan says, "Perhaps it was they who were hurling the lightning"
Paramedic asks, "But you can't quite reach them yet?"
Kelan says, "No, they could not be reached because they were on the
other side of the barrier."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there's some sort of key we need to open
that barrier?"
Kelan says, "There may be. I think it has something to do with the
altar in the center of the Circle of Skulls."
Kelan says, "A small dark orb on a pedestal with lightning shooting
about it"
Paramedic says, "hmm."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there will be a new expedition there
soon?"
Kelan says, "Yes, I think so"
Paramedic says, "Ah good"
Kelan says, "There seem to be some very dedicated exiles commited to
solving this one"
Paramedic says, "I think there might be great rewards in figuring out
what is going on there"
Kelan says, "You are probably right."
Paramedic asks, "OK last question: 5) What weapons do you use? Do you
use a shield?"
Kelan asks, "Who knows what we could learn by exploring the Ethereal
Plane?"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "Perhaps there are other entrances elsewhere that would
yield some answers"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there is another way out or in?"
Kelan asks, "I don't know for certain, but why should the only entrance
be through Tenebrion's Keep?"
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of Tenebrion, by the way?"
Kelan says, "I hear many things about him"
Kelan says, "But I don't know what to think. I've never met him
myself."
Paramedic says, "He's quite a puzzle."
Kelan says, "Yes."
Kelan says, "I think we should be wary of him."
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I think it is likely that he has his own agenda, and he
may not have our best interests in mind."
Paramedic says, "Yes, exactly."
Paramedic asks, "How about Umbrion?"
Kelan says, "Of Umbrion I know even less."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been to his island?"
Kelan says, "I have only visited his island once."
Paramedic says, "ah"
Paramedic says, "it's quite dangerous there"
Kelan says, "It's a very dangerous place indeed."
Kelan says, "The lycanthropes are particularly dangerous."
Paramedic says, "I was with a large group and we still had many
difficulties surviving"
Kelan says, "Yes, I was with a large group as well, and I fell many
times."
Kelan says, "I still have no idea how one gets off the island."
Paramedic says, "Yes, leaving the place remains something of a puzzle."
Paramedic asks, "I wonder if that is Umbrion's castle to the south?"
Kelan says, "I suspect it is, but I am also interested in the ship
being built."
Paramedic says, "It's a large ship"
Kelan says, "Yes it is."
Paramedic says, "and there are guards around it"
Kelan says, "I'm curious to find out its purpose"
Paramedic asks, "OK last question: 5) What weapons do you use? Do you
use a shield?"
Kelan says, "I use an axe, mainly. unless I'm with a large group and
everyone needs to tag a creature."
Kelan says, "Then I use my old taintless club."
Paramedic asks, "shield?"
Kelan says, "I don't use a shield"
Kelan says, "I may pick one up, someday."
Kelan says, "I haven't felt a need to, I guess"
Paramedic asks, "why do you prefer the axe?"
Kelan says, "It's light, but powerful"
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I also don't have the skills or money to use bigger or
better weapons"
Kelan says, "I would like to find a rapier one day"
Paramedic asks, "Ever wonder about the Bloodblade?"
Kelan says, "I have seen it in action."
Paramedic asks, "think it is worth having?"
Kelan says, "I think the cost is too much"
Kelan says, "Not in coins"
Paramedic says, "but in health? it does seem to hurt those who wield
it"
Kelan says, "Yes, being constantly wounded like that looks too
dangerous to me."
Kelan says, "I don't fight when I'm red, usually"
Paramedic says, "Good strategy"
Kelan says, "Thankee"
Kelan says, "I like to stay up and useful"
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview, Kelan. Lots of good
stuff on the Ethereal plane"
You gave good karma to Kelan, thoom!
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
You just received good karma!
(Paramedic makes some notes)
Kelan says, "Be well. I think I'll go to savannah and hunt."
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)

#####
CLAN PROFILE: SUN DRAGON CLAN
BY SPEEDIER

Sun Dragon Clan

Origins:
The Sun Dragon Clan was founded by Braveheart in the summer 529 YA. The
original name was "Hunter Clan" and was the first clan in existence on
Puddleby Island. Adua, Bran, Gilean, and Sten are some of the first
members of the clan.

As most of you know, clans are outlawed by Mobius. Indeed, it was quite
some time before the locals would recognize any group as a clan.  But
when the townspeople finally decided to authorize clans, we were the
first to register. The clan was registered by Braveheart and Adua, with
the help of Polerand and Stormraven in the winter of 531.

Our first charter was dedicated to helping new exiles become acclimated
to their new home.  Indeed that has always been an important part of
the clan as we expanded the scope of our activities

Clan principles:
These are our clan objectives:
- To be diplomats to the Lok'Groton chain and the world at large,
especially to new arrivals.
- To protect Puddleby and its inhabitants.
- To contain the Orga, Darshak, and Undine threats.
- To seek physical, spiritual, and mental knowledge of the world.

The basic principle of the Sun Dragon Clan is to defend and improve
Puddleby, the exiles and peasants living here. We do this through
active defense of perceived threats as well as cultural and social
pursuits.

The following are clan virtues that each member should embrace:
Helpfulness, Courtesy, Unselfishness, Honor, Liberality, and Bravery.

We are a democratic clan ruled by a council of five members. We hold
elections for each post on a yearly basis, and any active member can
run for any office.  Each council seat has certain duties.

The High Disciple represents the voice of the clan to the council. The
High Benevolence represents the clan to other clans and the general
populace of Puddleby, The High Explorer co-ordinates the clans
information gathering efforts. The High Protector organizes the clans
defense of the lands and the clan itself. And finally the High
Councilor oversees the council and is the voice of the clan in official
decisions among the populace of Puddleby.

Events:
We hold many events in Puddleby and the surrounding areas. Every OOC
Saturday 10:00am PST we hold an open hunt. We welcome all exiles to
join us at this time.

The hunt gathers at the Sun Dragon Hut (South Puddleby next to the
Museum, the hut with the Sun banner over the door) At that time we
decide by suggestion or vote where we will explore that day.

We are members of the Dun'islar clan completions. We sponsor artistic,
cultural and athletic events open to all citizens and exiles.

Members:
Our clan roster currently has 30 active members and 15 inactive members
still wearing a SDC badge. We are proud to claim many of the most
famous and heroic exiles in the lands have at one time or another worn
a SDC badge.

Future plans:
We are always looking for new things to explore and places to discover.
Currently we are trying to regain access to the Portal Mirror in the
forests south of town.

Location of clan scrolls:
http://www.sundragonclan.com

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, Rising Claw, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

I've been down so long
Being down don't bother me
I'm gonna take all my troubles
Drown 'em in the deep blue sea
  - J B Lenoir/A Atkins

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Feral Fillets with it in
the afternoon"

Issue #35: "Bones and Katpus"
[March 29, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Sareth's Hunting Services: pathfinding and skinning skills, available
for your next hunt
   Price: 1 share.
* Ire's Curse Service: 10 coins, 20 coins with a reason.  Why dirty
your own hands?
   (Also for a limited time, Curse Prevention for 30 coins)
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Marfisa the Fen is still missing
* Umbion's Island discovered
* Statue of Haze in the museum
* East Tower is open
* Catapult plans found in Foothills

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Cradlesong trapped in Tenebrion's Tower
* Gurgi, Papa, and Remle on the Ethereal Sword
* Kira and Brae married in the courtyard of Tenebrion´s Keep
* Long battle east of the poppyfield on Tenebrion´s Island
* A trip to Umbrion Island
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Dark Temple rescue
* Deadly bubbles roaming Tenebrion's Island
* Zorton gets a stone in Orga Camp
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Hunter's brave dash into the Dred Passage
* Community of exiles conquers Dred Passage, explores Foothills
* Safe cave with catapult plans discovered
* Deadly Ash Giants, Ironwood Giants encountered
* Katpus found in safe cave
* Map of Foothills by Entil'Zha
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Baffette, Althea, Astrid,
Charlos, Crow."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Crunch, Mac-arena,
Algernon, Althea, Crow."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

I'd like to start a new feature in Fishwrap: Clan Profiles

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Thanks to Zhirem for the idea

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH BONES THE THOOM
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic says, "Greetings all. This issue I'll be interviewing Bones
the Thoom."
(Bones Thooms.)
Paramedic says, "It's pleasure to have you here, Bones."
Bones says, "it is a pleasure to be interviewed"
Bones says, "by the best Thoom newspaper in town"
Sareth ponders, "is there any other?"
Paramedic asks, "1) What's your assessment of Thoom affairs in Puddleby
today?"
Bones says, "we Thooms continue to stick together"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "the Thoom choir will be starting up again"
Paramedic says, "Ah that's good news"
Bones says, "our next gig is at Althea's wedding"
Paramedic says, "I remember when the Thoom choir used to perform at the
mirror circle"
Bones says, "yes, concerts at the mirror"
(Bones nods.)
Zippy asks, "They didn't set a date yet did they Bones?"
Bones says, "no, no date yet"
Zippy says, "Ah"
Zippy ponders, "what a shame.."
Bones says, "and I hope to open a restaurant serving Thoom cuisine.
maybe that will attract more Thooms to our island"
Paramedic asks, "Seafood?"
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Bones says, "I hired Domino as a waiter"
Paramedic exclaims, "Ah!"
Domino ponders, "Waiter ! What a disgrace !"
Bones says, "but I think he got another job"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "That true Domino?"
Domino says, "mmm... well...."
Panos ponders, "wonder if the waiters will wear aprons?"
Domino says, "yes I have another job that requires my attention"
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Domino says, "But I will probably work in the restaurant to help Bones"
Paramedic says, ""otherwise employed""
Paramedic asks, "What are some other key issues for Thooms these days,
Bones?"
Bones says, "well, some exiles do not like our formations"
Paramedic exclaims, "!!"
Paramedic says, "what an outrage"
Bones says, "they get angry when we practice our rituals in town."
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic exclaims, "no respect for tradition!"
Sareth ponders, "that formation at Kira's wedding was interesting..."
Bones says, "I hope that all reading this understand that we need to
practice our culture"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "also there has been a crackdown on Thooming in the
library"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Paramedic asks, "too noisy?"
(Bones nods.)
Bones says, "I guess I understand"
Bones says, "we will have to go outside first"
Paramedic asks, "2) You are a longtime member of Clan Rising Claw. How
are things with you and the clan?"
Bones says, "I am one of the founders"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Bones says, "and a Councillor"
(Polerand waves.)
Bones says, "I do not attend the clan hunts anymore as I am too old for
that"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Bones says, "but I do like to hang out with them"
Paramedic asks, "Do you find the clan to be Thoom-friendly?"
Bones says, "yes"
Bones says, "as you know Biff joined not so long ago"
Paramedic says, "A fine Thoom, Biff"
Bones says, "and Rifkin is a long time member"
Paramedic says, "Rifkin, also a fine Thoom"
Bones says, "Heccacia was once a Thoom, but there was that horrible
accident"
(Paramedic shudders.)
(Bones nods.)
Bones says, "she grew a tail and fur"
Paramedic says, "Yes, quite unusual"
Paramedic asks, "So what do you see in the future for Rising Claw?"
Bones says, "well, we continue to induct clan mates"
Bones says, "we are an expanding family"
Paramedic says, "Good to hear."
Bones says, "Sylvan Drax joined last zodiac"
Sareth says, "done Hunter"
Bones says, "Sareth over there is an applicant"
(Sareth nods)
(Paramedic waves at Sareth)
(Sareth waves back)
Paramedic says, "He's also a Fishwrap advertiser"
Sareth says, "mention this article for a discount"
Bones says, "I believe we will retake the dunilsar in the future"
Paramedic says, "That would be good."
Paramedic asks, "3) What are your thoughts about the question of the
day: should exiles withhold information from other exiles?"
Bones says, "exiles are not required to tell anyone anything, I don't
think"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "but the matter is a touchy one"
Paramedic says, "It has caused strife in some clans."
Bones says, "i am in the middle, i think"
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
Bones says, "I do not agree with some of the actions of PMF, but they
are free to do what they want."
(Paramedic nods.)
Bones says, "I see merit to both sides."
Bones says, "they want to have fun their own way, nothing so bad about
that"
(Paramedic nods.)
(Bones Thooms.)
Paramedic says, "Personally, I think people should spend less time
focusing on PM and more on their own hunts"
Bones says, "yes, I am tired of the issue, really"
(Paramedic nods)
Zippy says, "I would have to agree :)"
(Bones shows Paramedic his new skill)
Paramedic asks, "what's that?"
Bones says, "I am learning from the good Thoom Proximus"
Paramedic says, "Ahhh...."
Bones says, "I believe he is a subscriber to the Fishwrap"
Paramedic says, "that leads to the next question"
Paramedic asks, "4) How do you see the state of healing these days?"
Bones says, "healing continues to advance, on the high end"
Bones says, "and there are plans for another circle, I hear"
Sareth ponders, "5th? woah"
Bones says, "Proximus is all but required for the hardest areas, now"
Paramedic asks, "You are a frequent cad user?"
Bones says, "well, I am still learning"
Bones says, "i am one of his better pupils, though"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Do healers get the respect they deserve?"
Bones says, "yes, from most people"
Sareth ponders, "you can never give dok'dan too much respect..."
(Paramedic listens)
Bones says, "I do not agree with those exiles who server Master Troilus
above all"
Bones says, "and choose to ignore us"
Sareth whispers, "Bones is being interviewed for Fishwrap"
(Thadius smiles)
Domino says, "Yes it's true"
Domino asks, "May I add something?"
Bones says in Thoom, "have to take 30 sec break"
Sareth ponders, "Odd Thoom... Sleeping in the middle of his own
interview..."
Domino says, "I would like to say to the readers of Fishwrap"
(Paramedic listens)
Domino says, "that despite my extensive training with Master Troilus"
Domino says, "Lord Bones was of a great help to me."
Domino says, "The eradiction of Drakes from the lands is a difficult
task"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "Domino is an expert in the field as many readers may know"
Domino says, "and the burden which lies on my shoulders regarding this
matter has been fully shared by Lord Bones"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of the emerging cooperation between
healers and mystics?"
Domino says, "Well, I would prefer not to answer this question as I am
not a mystic nor a healer"
Paramedic asks, "Bones?"
Bones asks, "yes?"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of the emerging cooperation between
healers and mystics?"
Bones says, "ah"
Bones says, "the more mystics, the better"
Paramedic says, "I agree."
Bones says, "in particular the skristal is of great aid to us healers"
Paramedic says, "Yes, very much so"
Paramedic asks, "Domino, do you intend to become a mystic, perhaps?"
Domino says, "And we need also more exiles specialized in the
slaughtering of Drakes."
Domino says, "I would like to rest sometimes..."
Paramedic asks, "Domino, do you intend to become a mystic, perhaps?"
Domino says, "Well, perhaps... if fate leads me to this path."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Paramedic asks, "5) Bones, do you have any thoughts on opening the
south forest mirror?"
Bones says, "yes, I believe it is very important"
Bones says, "i think qual has something to do with this"
Paramedic says, "I think it will provide a necessary transportation
corridor for exiles"
Bones says, "perhaps if we can defeat him, we can open the mirror"
Bones says, "the desert has a nice oasis"
Paramedic says, "Yes, and Cold and Snowy is through that mirror too"
Bones says, "I swam in the oasis after the war. it was very enjoyable."
Paramedic says, "Well, we've come to the end of our interview. You are
now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question"
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question"
Bones asks, "does Paramedic plan to find a nice lady Thoom and settle
down someday?"
Paramedic says, "Perhaps someday. But for now I am committed to my
career."
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic says, "Besides, my income is not sufficient to support a
family yet"
Bones says, "perhaps you can do an investigative report on the lack of
lady Thooms"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "There is definitely a shortage."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview. Bones"

#####
SPECIAL REPORT
CATAPULT BUILDER LOCATED
BY KORIC THE HEALER

The following is an edited transcript of a conversation between several
exiles and the catapult builder, Katpus, who is now making a home in
the safe cave outside of the northeastern foothills.  This conversation
occured 56 Spring 541 (25 Mar 2001). The complete movie can be found at

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/katpus.sit

More details about the foothills expedition are in my journal,
including sketches and links, at:

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

I have set apart with a line break and *** the comments made by Katpus
and organized his responses in a more logical manner for easier
understanding. Apologies to exiles whose comments were edited out.  I
tried to boil this down to the essentials, leaving out nothing said by
Katpus while omitting several repeated questions and comments by
exiles.  I also tried to preserve the gist of exile reaction to some of
Katpus' more interesting news.

Trystran D'Ark was speaking with Katpus for a few moments prior to my
arrival on the scene to record everything said, but it didn't appear
that we missed anything major other than some introductions.

-- Begin Edited Transcript --

The table is covered with rough catapult diagrams and broken pieces of
machinery.

*** Katpus says, "those are just my sketches"

Babajaga exclaims, "Katpus!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Hi Katpus"

*** Katpus says, "I have not been able to find the actual plans"
*** Katpus says, "Which is what I've been seeking"

Michael asks, "any idea where they might be?"

*** Katpus says, "they are beyond the passes to the east"

Koric asks, "Ah, this is your home, Katpus?"
Koric says, "Must be very lonely up here."

*** Katpus says, "you have no idea Koric"

Entil'Zha says, "Well, we've been looking."
(Trystran D'Ark nods)
Kryll says, "We've been searching those passes.."
Entil'Zha says, "Not for that specifically, but we haven't seen that
either."

*** Katpus says, "The passes seem to be unstable"

Entil'Zha ponders, "what an understatement"
Michael asks, "have you found a way past them yet?"

*** Katpus says, "I made it through once"
*** Katpus says, "but I have not made it agin"

Trystran D'Ark asks, "Katpus, do you have any tools that we can use to
dig through?"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "Katpus have yu heard of any tools for digging
around here?"
Gurgi says, "we need better digging tools"
(Reye nods)
Gurgi asks, "got ane pick axes?"
Michael says, "its very hard work"
Kaitlyn says, "exceedingly time consuming"

*** Katpus says, "I gave most of them to the last group that came
through"

Trystran D'Ark asks, "Most?"
Reye says, "heh"
Entil'Zha says, "Hrm."
Gurgi asks, "most but not all?"
Entil'Zha says, "I s'pose there aren't any left.."

*** Katpus says, "I have only a couple more"
*** Katpus says, "there's one"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!"
Gurgi says, "aha"
Ziff Rengar found a shovel!
Trystran D'Ark says, "a couple will do"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "woo!"
Babajaga says, "Couple more would do the trick"
Koric exclaims, "You are most kind, Katpus!"
Gurgi asks, "any more?"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Thnaks so much :D"
Trystran D'Ark says, "thank you Katpus"
Gurgi exclaims, "thanks!"
Ziff Rengar asks, "katpus, how much money do you want?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "Thank you!"
Sean says, "we could really use a couple more.."
Koric asks, "Is there something we can do for you in return?"

*** Katpus says, "I don't need any money.."
*** Katpus says, "you can help find my plans"

(Koric nods.)
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "aahh"
Reye exclaims, "sure!"
Kaitlyn says, "Searching, we are good at that"

*** Katpus says, "I've been trying to reproduce them from scratch"
*** Katpus says, "But so far no luck"

Ziff Rengar asks, "do you need materials?"

*** Katpus says, "I keep searching for another way farther east"
*** Katpus says, "once I get the plans"
*** Katpus says, "then I'll be ready to collect materials"
*** Katpus says, "The passes are full of falling rock"
*** Katpus says, "It's hard to make maps since it keeps shifting"

Gurgi asks, "Are you out of shovels?"

*** (Katpus checks his pack)
*** Katpus says, "I think I have one more"

Babajaga says, "Ah good."
Gurgi exclaims, "oh!"
Ziff Rengar asks, "or can you give us the plans to make a shovel?"
Sean asks, "Where did you get them, did you make them yourself?"
Hunter asks, "Do you know of someone who makes them, or can you?"
Gurgi says, "one more would help alot"
Ziff Rengar says, "the more we have, the better it would be"

*** Katpus says, "I think it takes a bit or metal, some wood plus
someone
***               skilled enough to make them"

Hunter asks, "Do you know of someone skilled enough, or are you?"
Sean asks, "Can you train people to make them?"

*** Katpus says, "no, not me"

Gurgi asks, "Is there someone around here that can?"

*** Katpus says, "This area used to mined"
*** Katpus says, "There was a library out here."

Reye exclaims, "ooooh!"
Hunter asks, "Do you know where out here?"
Gurgi exclaims, "oh!"

*** Katpus says, "Trillbane lived there"

Trystran D'Ark exclaims, "a library?!"
Hunter exclaims, "Ahh!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!!"
Gurgi says, "aha"
Sean ponders, "oh my"

*** Katpus says, "Yes, it's beyond the passes"

(Koric nods.)
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!!!!!"
Gurgi says, "ah"

*** Katpus says, "Underground"

Entil'Zha says, "Underground, you say? Hm, I hadn't expected that."
Entil'Zha asks, "Is it far from here?"

*** Katpus says, "At one time, I suspect it was not underground"
*** Katpus says, "But with the way the passes have shifted"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "You did make it to the east once didn't you?"

*** Katpus says, "yes"
*** Katpus says, "I did make it east once"

Ziff Rengar asks, "how did you make it alone?"
Michael asks, "is the path to the east still open?"

*** Katpus says, "No"
*** Katpus says, "I hid well"
*** Katpus says, "The directions there would not help you, it is a mass
of
***               fallen rock now"
*** Katpus says, "But I feel sure another way can be found"
*** Katpus says, "There was a large quake, you must find another way"

Lucero says, "seems our mission is to head as far east as possible"
(Entil'Zha): Entil'Zha nods enthusiastically!
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Aye in order to help you get your plans again,
we'll need shovels."
Trystran D'Ark says, "OK"

*** Katpus says, "As I said, I have one more shovel for you"

Gurgi says, "thank you katpus"
Koric says, "Yes, thank you for your generosity with the shovels."
Michael asks, "Is there anything guarding [the plans]?"

*** Katpus asks, "Is there anything guarding [the plans]?"
*** (Katpus laughs)
*** Katpus says, "Yes."

Trystran D'Ark asks, "what is guarding them?"
Michael asks, "orga?"

*** Katpus says, "The orga are strong there"
*** Katpus says, "And beware the Arachnoids"
*** Katpus says, "They are clever and strong"

Ziff Rengar says, "i thought we were out of orga territory"
Gurgi says, "dad blast the orga"

*** Katpus says, "The orga do not inhabit the passes"

Hunter says, "Ah"
Babajaga says, "Thank you for letting us use your cave by the way."
Gurgi says, "yes, this is a nice cave"
Entil'Zha says, "Aye, thank you very much."

*** Katpus says, "but beyond the passes... they are many orga"
*** Katpus says, "this cave seems safe"
*** Katpus says, "that is why I rest here"

Gurgi asks, "do you think you would mind if we brought some books
here?"
Gurgi says, "Perhaps we could make a library here"
Ziff Rengar asks, "is it your home or just a resting place?"

*** Katpus says, "This is just a relatively safe place from which to
***               explore"
*** Katpus says, "The way west leads to to the snaggy forest"
*** Katpus says, "near the orga village"
*** Katpus says, "it's so twisted and I have not travelled much there"
*** Katpus says, "Some might call the orga stronghold to the east a
city...
***               I don't know"

Gurgi exclaims, "!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!"
Trystran D'Ark ponders, "oh gah!"
Reye says, "woah"
Kryll says, "wow"
Michael says, "oh my god"
(Babajaga nods)
(Lucero grins.)
Gurgi asks, "orga stronghold?"
Hunter says, "erm."
Gurgi asks, "past the passes?"

*** Katpus says, "There are many orga there"
*** Katpus says, "I could not go there myself, there were to many"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "There is a place in the passes with a well, have
you been there?"
Hunter says, "Aye, an area with Ironwood Giants and such."

*** Katpus says, "I have been to such a place"

Koric asks, "Is there a way out of there that you know of?"

*** Katpus says, "Not that I know of, but it's dangerous there. I did
not
***               linger"

Ziff Rengar asks, "do we need magic to reach trillbane's library?"

*** Katpus says, "Since I don't know how to get there, I cannot be
sure"

(Koric nods.)
Gurgi says, "ah"
Babajaga says, "You just followed your beloved catapult didn´t you.
Long way to travel that is.."

*** Katpus says, "yes"
*** Katpus says, "I want it back"
*** Katpus says, "Or at least my plans"

Koric exclaims, "I hope we can help you recover it!"
Koric says, "We will certainly do our best."
Babajaga says, "We suspected they had taken it this way"
Michael says, "yes we will"

*** Katpus says, "I would be grateful for your assistance :-)"

(Gurgi glances at Katpus's pack)
Hunter exclaims, "We'd be grateful for any tools that could be
provided!"
Koric says, "You are kind to grant us shovels and advice to help us.
Thanks."
Ziff Rengar says, "as gurgi said, the more tools we get, the faster we
can advance"
(Gurgi notices a shovel handle)

*** (Katpus looks through his pack)

Koric says, "Take the shovel, Gurgi."
Gurgi found a shovel!
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "yay"
Hunter exclaims, "Ahh!"
Gurgi says, "woohoo"
Saturnus says, "Thanks Katpus."
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "Thanks so much Katpus!!!"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "thank you katpus!"
Babajaga exclaims, "Thank you!"
(Reye smiles)
Michael exclaims, "thank yo!"
Trystran D'Ark says, "thank you Katpus"
Michael exclaims, "thank you!"

*** Katpus says, "You are welcome"

Saturnus asks, "Anything we can do to return the favor?"
Michael asks, "will we see you again?"

*** Katpus says, "Perhaps"
*** Katpus says, "Sometimes you'll find me here"

Michael exclaims, "good!"
(Trystran D'Ark smiles)
(Koric nods.)
Gurgi says, "ah we will be happy to see you when we are here"

*** Katpus says, "If you find the plans, please try to find me"

Gurgi exclaims, "we will!"
(Lucero grins.)
Saturnus says, "We will Katpus."
Koric says, "We will try to return to keep you company every so often."
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "aye katpus"

*** Katpus says, "I wander"

Reye asks, "Do you know if having loovma will help effectively use the
shovels?"
Michael asks, "do you know if loovma helps with shovels?"

*** Katpus says, "And now, it's getting to evening and I'm tired"
*** Katpus says, "oh"
*** Katpus says, "I don't know Loovma well"
*** Katpus says, "these shovels are pretty tough"
*** Katpus says, "But, you never know :-)"

Ziff Rengar says, "looks like quality we got there"
(Gurgi grins)
(Reye nods)
(Babajaga hums softly.)
Michael says, "thanks for all your help"
The table is covered with rough catapult diagrams and broken pieces of
machinery.
Kryll says, "Thanks for your help Katpus, I hope we can repay you with
the plans :)"
Reye says, "Thanks for your help Katpus =)"

*** Katpus says, "And thank you"
*** Katpus says, "Good luck"

Gurgi exclaims, "thanks!"
Koric says, "We will find a way east, and we will keep you informed."
(Fyn d'Evon Rhay waves.)
Entil'Zha says, "Be well."
Kaitlyn says, "Thank you and good bye Katpus"
Gurgi exclaims, "good night!"
(Koric waves.)

*** (Katpus lies down)

-- End of Edited Transcript --

At this point, Katpus fell asleep and vanished, ending the
conversation.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Rising Claw, ThoomCare

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like
an idiot.
  -Steven Wright

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Meshra
Mush with it in the afternoon"
Issue #34: "Secrets, Scandals, and Sleipnir"
[March 13, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* The "Manx for Puddlebean Ornithological Society Council" committee:
   http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/mrdrplot.html
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Merlisk the Thoom becomes a fourth-circle healer
* Rising Claw wins Dun'ilsar, Lords of the Wamphyrii defeated
* Massive Orga invasions of East Fields and Tanglewood
* Fishwrap Magazine hires Mac the Mystic

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* The Ethereal Box
* A long chat with Tenebrion's minion, Emmei
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Adventures in the Savannah
* Gurgi and the Ethereal Sword
* Forest Chamelopods discovered far to the northeast
* Fiery bubbles in Tenebrion's Keep
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Exiles fall to lightning in Tanglewood as Orgas go on the offensive
* Vulture chews on Thoom Kaspar
* Orga combat scenes
* Pictures of Dun'ilsar with Rising Claw and Lords of the Wamphyrii
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Recent ballot results:
#177: Should we be able to give the death penalty in court?
9 (18%): Yes
23 (45%): No
13 (25%): Yes, stoning
1 (2%): yes, hanging!
2 (4%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#178: Should Manx really have a POS council seat?  (Paid for by the
Slyph-for-council Campaign)
6 (12%): No, are you nuts?  she's so old.
3 (6%): Yes, I love her issues:  nit brushes and fresh litter for
everyone.
2 (4%): Yes, because picking Manx is like Picking Slyph- manx will just
die soon anyways.
18 (37%): Slyph and Manx should share the council seat; more fighting
that way.  Fighting in jello.
11 (22%): None of the above
9 (18%): Abstain
#179: Healers: what are you training right at this moment? (Others
please abstain)
2 (4%): Respia
1 (2%): Sespus
6 (13%): Faustus!
10 (21%): Other healer trainer
6 (13%): None of the above
22 (47%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Afrit, Flux, Athala,
Axia, Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Athala, Althea, Beep,
Bigfat."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_060_22_11 on 60 Winter, 541 at 23:10..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Algernon of corrupt politition..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 1283 minutes in jail, 11030c
fine and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_070_04_45 on 70 Winter, 541 at 5:47..."
Clerus says, "Sleipnir accused Sephorus of falling and not
departing..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 48 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_079_03_58 on 79 Winter, 541 at 4:53..."
Clerus says, "Domino accused Nargoth of assaulting me in town severall
times..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 56 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_081_08_08 on 81 Winter, 541 at 8:55..."
Clerus says, "Kalian accused Sareth of of putting out the fires to
destroy the gods house..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 161 minutes in jail, 63c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_085_15_08 on 85 Winter, 541 at 16:01..."
Clerus says, "Michael accused Pe Ell of Setting up a "toll bridge" in
NE feild..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH YE OLDE KNIGHT, SLEIPNIR
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic says, "Ah there is Sleipnir now"
Arocet says, "joining PM is like finding a path"
Sleipnir asks, "It be so?"
Arocet says, "absolutely"
Sleipnir asks, "Will not letters of recommendation work?"
Arocet says, "never said it was easy"
Paramedic asks, "Sleipnir, are you disenchanted with the Red Quill?"
Sleipnir says, "Nay, Paramedic, but I must become a strong and fierce
fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I have excellent testimonials!"
Sleipnir is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose)
Sleipnir says, "Thus, I must join Pogue Mahone."
Arocet asks, "did you look at our scrolls?"
Sleipnir says, "Oh, aye, Arocet, I did."
Sleipnir exclaims, "They be wonderful scrolls!"
Arocet says, "there it tells you everything you need to know to join"
Sleipnir says, "Very learned."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic asks, "Perhaps you'd like to answer a few questions for
Fishwrap on why you'd like to change clans?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course, Paramedic, I would be honoured."
Paramedic asks, "1) Can you tell our readers why you are interested in
joining Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Aye, I can for certes. There be one main reason....."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I must become a strong and fierce fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must become a mighty WARRIOR!!!"
Sleipnir says, "This be of the utmost urgency."
Paramedic asks, "You feel you need to become stronger than you are?"
Sleipnir says, "Much, much stronger, Paramedic, aye."
Paramedic asks, "Why is this?"
Sleipnir says, "Presently, I can kill only rats."
Sleipnir says, "And the Lady Babajaga doth not respect such weakness."
Sleipnir says, "To gain her respect, and maybe even her love, I must
become a strong and mighty fighter."
Sleipnir says, "Clearly, singing songs will not work."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Sleipnir says, "So I have decided to join Pogue Mahone, that wonderful
clan."
Sleipnir says, "It be a wonderful feeling, sitting here...."
Sleipnir says, "Proud..... strong....."
Sleipnir says, "... surrounded by other proud strong clan mates."
Paramedic asks, "2) How would you see your role within Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "I would be the mighty warrior that kills the small
things."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Sleipnir says, "Rats. Vermine. That sort of thing."
Arocet ponders, "we already have Devil for that"
(Solas thinks about sneaking algy to the clan hut again)
Sleipnir says, "It's a nasty job, but someone has to do it."
Sleipnir says, "Every clan needs one."
Paramedic asks, "Will that make you a mighty warrior?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course. As long I be in the Pogue Mahone, aye."
Sleipnir says, "They be all mighty warriors."
Sleipnir exclaims, "And I shall be one too!!!!"
Sleipnir yells, "Huzzah!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
(Sleipnir is getting excited)
(Sleipnir remembers to look superior)
Sleipnir ponders, "I must appear strong"
Paramedic says, "3) Our readers would like to know about your lawsuit."
Sleipnir says, "Ah! The lawsuit. Well..."
Sleipnir says, ".... I know that to join the PM, I must show myself
worthy."
Sleipnir says, "They do not accept just any old Knight."
Sleipnir says, "So... I must do as PM doth."
Sleipnir says, "I must be strong...."
Sleipnir says, "I have cursed at least two people. Just today."
Arocet says, "sleip.. you obviously haven't looked at the scrolls
enuff. it doesn't say anything about being worthy"
Sleipnir says, "I cursed Gurgi. And I can prove it."
Sleipnir says, "I kept documentary evidence."
Sleipnir says, "So... as part of my plan...."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I decided to sue a fallen person for not departing."
Odesseus ponders, "wahh?"
Sleipnir says, "I thought that would be bound to impress the important
PM people."
Paramedic asks, "Why is that?"
Sleipnir says, "I believe Althea hath already been much impressed."
Sleipnir says, "Well......"
(Paramedic looks at Althea.)
(Sleipnir thinks)
Sleipnir says, "I thought that... er... well...."
Sleipnir says, "I must try to behave correctly."
Sleipnir says, "I must show strength."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must have no mercy!"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Where they lead, I must follow!"
Sleipnir says, "And I will."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Sleipnir says, "Sephorus was very kind to oblige me."
Sleipnir says, "And the people whom I have cursed have all been most
understanding."
Sleipnir says, "Very helpful"
Paramedic asks, "4) Can you tell us about your role models in Pogue
Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Ah. Role models."
Sleipnir says, "Well, Azure obviously."
Sleipnir says, "I did so admire his lawsuit."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir says, "Very clever I thought."
Sleipnir says, "Very strong."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Sleipnir says, "And .... er....."
(Sleipnir blushes)
Sleipnir whispers, "I rather fancy Althea"
(Sleipnir goes a little pink)
(Paramedic turns a funny color himself.)
(Paramedic had a bad fish sandwich earlier.)
Sleipnir says, "And... er...."
Sleipnir says, "Well... Arocet be very very strong also."
Sleipnir says, "He would be an excellent role model"
Paramedic says, "Oh I see."
Sleipnir ponders, "Except for the purple thing happening"
(Sleipnir smiles all around)
Paramedic asks, "5) If you were accepted in Pogue Mahone, would you be
planning to make trips to the Dred Passage with them?"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Well, of course!"
Sleipnir says, "Ye all know that I also found a Dread Passage."
Paramedic exclaims, "So I hear!"
Sleipnir says, "And I would hope they would aid me in that one also."
Sleipnir says, "It be a very frightening place."
Sleipnir says, "It be in Sleipnir's Field."
Sleipnir says, "I have fallen there many times."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I believe that together, PM and I shall advance
boldly into the future!"
Paramedic says, "Well, in keeping with a long Fishwrap tradition, you
are now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question."
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question."
Sleipnir asks, "Only one?"
Paramedic says, "yes, indeed, ONE"
Paramedic says, "Yes that was your question."
Paramedic says, "Thank you."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for taking the time for the interview."
Sleipnir says, "Mine honour, sir."
(Sleipnir smiles at Althea)
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee also, Paramedic?"
Sleipnir ponders, "I suppose not"
Arocet ponders, "damn.. sleip just missed one of the key requirements
for joining.. he must study those scrolls"
Arocet ponders, "they hold all the answers"
Sleipnir ponders, "Study scrolls, study scrolls...."
Odesseus exclaims, "curse Para, I bite!"
(Bones was bit by Odesseus once)
Sleipnir asks, "Bones, may I curse thee?"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Paramedic says, "Sorry, was taking notes."
(Bones points at someone else)
Paramedic asks, "Someone bite or curse me?"
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee, good Paramedic?"
Odesseus says, "er, neither"
Paramedic says, "Well, try thanking me, bub."
Odesseus says, "I threatened biting"
Paramedic says, "Works better"
Sleipnir says, "In aid of mine application, of course."
Paramedic says, "Oh that"
Sleipnir says, "Oh."
(Althea nods)
(Odesseus bares his fangs)
Paramedic says, "No, just maintain a firm neutrality toward me"
Paramedic says, "Thooms like that"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Sleipnir says, "Very well. I understand."

#####
SPECIAL FISHWRAP EXCLUSIVE
SLEIPNIR: THE CONTENTS OF HIS BAG

(Sleipnir left his bag behind after the interview.  I rummaged through
it and found some stuff to run through my printing press before he
noticed.
  -Para)

To all, greetings.

The Pogue Mahone admissions committee have asked me to contribute a
poem to support my membership application. After much blood, sweat and
tears, I have the greatest honour in submitting the following humble
poetic effort for the perusal of the committee.

Upon request, I will be happy to recite this poem (with suitable
musical accompaniment) to any exile in the Land.

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir

**

I love the noble Arocet,
I love the gentle Blitz.
I love the fair Althea
(and I don't think she's a ditz).

I love the handsome Devil
like the fingers on my hand.
I love the dear Baffette, Azure
and Cygnus, Klur and Band.

But of them all my favourite
has got to be that Wisher.
He's sleek, he's slick, he's debonair.
No other exile's swisher.

And when it comes to finding paths
he's really really swell.
(The only trouble is that when
he finds them he won't tell.)

Now I must join this noble group
for reasons I shan't mention.
(It's cause the Lady Babajaga
pays me no attention).

And thus I strive most mightily
to join this noble Band.
And If I thus do cause offence
I know you'll understand.

I cursed the naughtie Gurgi
and although I didn't like
to do such bad and naughtie things
I cursed the noble Mike.

(But Mike's a real gentleman,
he said he didn't mind.
'Cause Michael is the noblest Thoom
that you will ever find.)

I'm keeping all the secrets
I discover in the marsh.
And I'm not telling anyone
although you think I'm harsh.

But since I'm going to join the Pogues
these things I've got to do.
So even if you howl and scream
no way I'm telling you.

I'm suing fallen exiles
when they lie and won't depart.
(Although I think it's rather mean
I'm hardening my heart.)

And from these legal efforts
I have suffered scorn and laughter.
I've done my time in jail, I've been
a real Poguie Martyr.

I'm practising maneuvers
in a military fashion.
I'm learning how to run with grace,
and find the rats, and bash'em.

The only difficulty
is that great big book of rules
(It's really not designed for those
who just are Knightly fools.)

I know that when I join the noble
wondrous Poguie Clan,
then I will be the very boldest
fiercest fighting man.

And when I am so fierce and bold
I hope she pays attention.
For Knights who only vanquish rats?
They barely rate a mention!

But surely when I am a Pogue
I will regain her heart,
and once I am a fierce bold Knight,
then we will never part.

And so we two will live in bliss
with all our Poguie mates.
(With Cutlas and Althea
joining us for double dates).

**

To all, greetings.

It be my very great pleasure to include for your perusal divers letters
of recommendation that I have collected from exiles in the Land. I hope
ye will read them with care and  attention, as they be most supportive
of mine application to join the clan Pogue Mahone..

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose


**************************

To whom it may concern:

I understand that Sleipnir is seeking entrance to the Pogue Mahone
clan.  As it is well known that this clan seeks out only the best and
brightest exiles to join them, it is my belief that Sleipnir is a most
worthy candidate.  Although he is, by his own admission, a foolish
knight, it is obvious that he can talk circles around any of those on
the current Pogue Mahone roster.  This is a very important skill, and
will no doubt be useful in many situations.  Thus, it would be in Pogue
Mahone's best interest to recruit Sleipnir without hesitation.

Entil'Zha Mithraell

**************************

I, Syndir, healer of the 3rd Circle, and Ripture War veteran, hereby
affirm the following:

I have personally witnessed Sir Sleipnir singlehandedly turn many of
the Great Maker's creatures into small bloody smears. He invariably
enhances the morale and camaraderie within any group, oftentimes
completely unintentionally. He plays a splendid tune and has a keen eye
for fashion. Small children love him. Sir Sleipnir is able to survive
in the wilderness with only a bootlace, a gummi wendecka, and a blunted
cheese knife. His manhood is of such proportions that it is rumored to
be a unit of measurement in his homeland. In short, I consider him to
be a friend, a confidant, and one of the finest Exiles on the isle.

Signed,

Syndir

**************************

To Whom it May Concern

While I have never participated in a hunt with Sir Sleipnir, I have
encountered this Brave Knight solo hunting in some of my favorite
areas.  In all cases I must attest to his Bravery in facing, alone,
great numbers of unpleasant (yet profitable) creatures.

Now, while Sir Sleipnir has not yet made a name for himself in the
ranks of the most powerful fighters in the land, you must notice those
that have surrounded this Fine Knight.  You may be aware of the old
saying, paraphrased as "behind every great man is a fine woman,
supporting and facilitating."  I ask you to reverse the genders and
look at the Lady Babajaga.  I do not believe that she could have
attained such skill and notoriety without the support and guidance of
Sir Sleipnir.  I am amazed at the sacrifices that Sleipnir must have
made, slaughtering the vermines and ferals for Babajaga while she
concentrates on  vanquishing the Wraths and Greater deaths.

I believe that Sir Sleipnir's displayed attributes of Sacrifice and
Devotion to the Cause makes this Knight a worthy addition to the fabled
Pogue Mahone fighting machine.

With kind regards,
++Hoover

***********************

After being invited to an afternoon of tea with Sir Sleipnir Na'Gralam,
Ser Sadraz dictates a scroll to her Squire John Junkar....

    Sir Sleipny ish onah my oldish friends.....  Why he'd make a great
PM!!!  He's a great exploiter... er... explorer.  'member when he
dishcover duh east field???  What a find that was!  For a foolish
Knight, he can be awful clever.

    O!  An how 'bout de time he laffed in de face o' Death when he
hugged the Greymur Chief afore his wedding?  Pershonally, I thought it
washa deep desire notuh go thru wid de weddin'....  But he lived tuh go
wid that fateful marriage.  Gotuh admit the man has forditude, he does.

(Sadraz mumbles about Babajaga probably regretting not using that anti-
wrinkle cream she gave them as a wedding present.)

    Now shum might think Sleipy hasa problem keeping his weight down and
dat he might be too fragile to keep up wid you hard runnin' PMs.  Not
the caysh atall.  Nossur!  I know fors a fact he wears the best corset
and support hose in de lands!  In fact, I once saw a rock thrown from a
'myr bounce right off de man's chest!!  Wid dat corset, Sleipie is well
nigh invinshable.  And the way the hose catches the light, many a
crittur has been blinded by sheen o' his calves. To see de way
Sleipniss dispatches a crittur fortwit is to see agility in action.

(Sadraz asks if there is more tea to be had.)

    But, hesa goo' man.  E'en when I and the manic knight kicked him out
of the Knight's, he took his punishment like the man he was and nary a
thought of vengeance on us.

    With all dese (hic) hatributes, Sir Sleipner wa make one good PM
man.  He might even make a song fer ya and yer exploits will be known
far and wide!  Sleip's the one for you.  Yup.

(Sadraz waves Squire John Junkar off to deliver the scroll and curls up
near the fire snoring softly.)
************************************

To Whom It May Concern:

I have known Sleipnir for a very long time. Not that I'm old and saggy;
that's just a rumor, probably started by those witches, but I digress.

He has always been eager to travel to new places. Why, I recall my very
first party in the greymyr village, which was organized and led by
Sleipnir. An unusual party indeed, with tea and cookies, as well as
titillating conversation. Of course, as with many of the finest
exploration parties, all of the guests ended up departing.

By the way, does anyone recall who won the "how long is this marriage
going to last" pool?

Anyway, I think he'd make a lovely addition to the Pogue Mahone
exploration team. Sure, exiles with nice legs are a luxury, not a
necessity, in a clan. But don't you guys think you've worked hard
enough to deserve the very best?

-Shamhat, who appreciates both a fine party and a shapely calf

#####
BEHIND THE MYSTIC
WITH YOUR HOST, MAC THE MYSTIC

(Fishwrap hereby presents a new feature, written by that famous
anonymous mystic, "Mac."
  -Para)

Greetings exiles! I bring you news from the world of mystics. This
report was sent to me via carrier bloodhawk from one of my confederates
in the field. He is risking his life to provide this information. All
the names have been changed to protect the innocent, not-so-innocent,
and the vulnerable.

3/10/01 5:49:16a Lycoris says, "Good evening"
3/10/01 5:49:17a Lycoris has not disclosed her race, is female, is an
Apprentice Mystic, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
3/10/01 5:49:17a She is holding a Rod of Akea.
3/10/01 5:49:28a Bern says, "Hello Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:49:28a (Bern smiles at Lycoris)
3/10/01 5:49:31a (Lycoris nods tersely)
3/10/01 5:49:38a Bern says, "So, what can I do for you?"
3/10/01 5:49:42a (Lycoris frowns)
3/10/01 5:49:57a Lycoris says, "This is difficult for me"
3/10/01 5:50:00a Mortis is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:50:03a (Bern nods encouragingly)
3/10/01 5:50:07a Lycoris ponders, "hmm"
3/10/01 5:50:13a Lycoris says, "this is a secret, even within the
guild"
3/10/01 5:50:28a Lycoris says, "an open secret perhaps, but still"
3/10/01 5:50:42a Bern says, "Well, you did ask to speak to me"
3/10/01 5:50:51a Lycoris says, "yes yes"
3/10/01 5:51:08a Lycoris says, "I just need you to understand what it
will mean to me"
3/10/01 5:51:13a Lycoris says, "if the guild learns where you got this
information"
3/10/01 5:51:19a Bern says, "I think I understand"
3/10/01 5:51:25a Bern says, "Names can be changed, would that do?"
3/10/01 5:51:32a Lycoris says, "I suppose so"
3/10/01 5:51:35a (Lycoris frowns again)
3/10/01 5:51:43a Lycoris says, "This is about one of the highest in the
guild"
3/10/01 5:51:56a Lycoris says, "Do you know who I mean, or must I be
more clear?"
3/10/01 5:52:01a (Bern looks perplexed)
3/10/01 5:52:13a Lycoris whispers, "Alright, it's Aki, now do you
understand?"
3/10/01 5:52:19a (Bern nods slowly)
3/10/01 5:52:28a Lycoris says, "He's the head of the council, even now"
3/10/01 5:52:43a Bern says, "what do you mean "even now?""
3/10/01 5:52:52a Lycoris says, "Well, did you know he joined Pogue
Mahone?"
3/10/01 5:52:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:53:01a Bern says, "I just noticed tonight"
3/10/01 5:53:05a Lycoris says, "he's been spending all his time with
them"
3/10/01 5:53:12a Lycoris says, "He ignores the guild totally,"
3/10/01 5:53:22a Lycoris says, "Not that he was ever easy to talk to,
but now it's impossible"
3/10/01 5:53:36a Lycoris says, "It's like PM has swallowed him up"
3/10/01 5:53:45a Bern says, "I've noticed"
3/10/01 5:53:52a Lycoris says, "Well, tonight, no, not tonight, last
night"
3/10/01 5:54:07a Lycoris says, "the 78th"
3/10/01 5:54:20a Lycoris says, "That was the full moon day. You know
what that means to mystics?"
3/10/01 5:54:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:54:26a Bern says, "Raid on the OC"
3/10/01 5:54:30a Lycoris says, "yes that's what I mean"
3/10/01 5:54:33a Miko is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:43a Lycoris says, "Recently the Guild hasn't had much
luck"
3/10/01 5:54:49a Valtrim is no longer Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:54a Lycoris says, "the raids haven't worked out too well"
3/10/01 5:55:02a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:55:14a Lycoris says, "last night, PM raided the OC"
3/10/01 5:55:23a Lycoris says, "and they were successful"
3/10/01 5:55:50a Lycoris says, "though I suppose that isn't too
surprising, they are pretty tough"
3/10/01 5:55:56a Bern says, "yes, they are that, but... are you
saying...?"
3/10/01 5:56:02a (Lycoris nods)
3/10/01 5:56:08a Lycoris says, "they were successful, they got a Stone"
3/10/01 5:56:17a Lycoris says, "Aki has a Teleportation stone now, and
I think he's pretty well trained in it too"
3/10/01 5:56:23a Bern says, "Well, that is news,"
3/10/01 5:56:32a Bern says, "I'll want to publish this, if it's alright
with you"
3/10/01 5:56:44a Lycoris whispers, "as long as you change the names"
3/10/01 5:56:52a Bern says, "Of course, as I promised"
3/10/01 5:57:26a Lycoris says, "Provided it doesn't crumble, this will
give PM some new abilities"
3/10/01 5:57:39a Lycoris says, "The stories of the old rings, they say
that groups could be teleported"
3/10/01 5:57:51a Lycoris says, "I think Malkor managed it, before his
stone crumbled, at least once anyway"
3/10/01 5:57:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:10a Lycoris says, "I think exiles in general should know.
The guild has secrets, but this is different"
3/10/01 5:58:18a Lycoris says, "This is a Pogue Mahone secret"
3/10/01 5:58:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:25a Lycoris says, "It won't make any difference, they'll
just laugh it off, or ignore it"
3/10/01 5:58:33a Lycoris says, "But I still think people ought to know"
3/10/01 5:58:45a Bern says, "I think we can do something about that at
the very least"
3/10/01 5:58:52a (Lycoris smiles)
3/10/01 5:58:59a Bern says, "Thank you Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:59:08a You gave good karma to Lycoris, thank you for your
honesty
3/10/01 5:59:15a (Lycoris nods)

By the way, in other news, Aki's fallen repeatedly to unnamed monsters
while on hunts with Pogue Mahone recently, causing many mystics to
wonder if perhaps he is taking unnecessary risks. Some say his
association with this clan is damaging his relations with other
mystics. No one knows for sure what the long-term implications of this
will be.

Until next time!

Mystically yours,
Mac

#####
MEDICAL JOURNAL ENTRY
BY TESSA

My Case to the Newly Formed Medical Ethics Board

Patient Name: [OMITTED FOR REASONS OF PRIVACY- REFERRED TO HERE AS
"PATIENT X"

Diagnosis:  Chronic mutagenic transformation and infection, with
parasitic dendritic formation along the spinal and brain stem CSF
pathways.

Symptoms:  Radical change in behavior, skin pigment changes, chronic
soreness of affected areas, impairment of normal neural function.
Paranoia is evident, with an insistent resistance and refusal to submit
to treatment.

Prognosis:  After final transformation, the life of the patient will be
inextricably bound to the life of the invading parasite.  Further
discussion in the case history.

Case Histories:

I first met PATIENT X in town.  A highly esteemed warrior with tan
complexion and a firm build, she has a reputation for equitability,
sound judgement, and level-headedness.

12 Autumn 538.  Patient fell unconscious in town. Medical emergency. I
checked for vital signs.  BP130/95 f. p 145 b normal.  Languid and
unresponsive.  Pupil reflex positive.  The patient then recovered
consciousness.   No diagnosis.

32 Autumn 538.  Patient  listless and depressed.  What ensued was best
described as a counseling session.  PATIENT X reported marital problems
with her husband, XXXXXX, now separated.    Involvement of a third
party, one by the name of XXXXXX, suspected.  Patient seemed unwilling
to work towards resolution but at the same time seemed nearly overcome
with tension.  She showed signs of depression throughout the session:
a narrowing of options, feelings of helplessness as to how to resolve
the situation, unwillingness to compromise or seek resolution.

49 Autumn 538.   Patient appeared with severe pigmentosis.  Upon
question, asserted her skin had not changed tone and that she was
suffering no ill effects.  At this time, PATIENT X renounced any
knowledge of her husband, now separated.  Upon discussion, the patient
became irritated.  Diagnosis:  repressive amnesia, depression, paranoid
delusion.  Administered 10cc Thorazine, IV. Patient progressed into
shock and convulsions.   Adverse and physical reactions to Thorazine,
however, are not indicated.  Complications must be arising from some
primary inductive agent.   Extracted a blood sample.  Further study
indicated.  But the patient does not seem mentally stable.  Further
study refused, and noncompliance to medical procedure noted.

This quote neatly sums up the following events, after which numerous
people tried to have the courts declare PATIENT X insane and have her
committed.  That failed.   And then PATIENT X sought a court injunction
to terminate our doctor-patient relationship.  That effort was deemed
frivolous.

Mac-arena says, "insanity clouds judgement, resulting in false
actions."
Mac-arena says, "we are seeking to imprison her, for lack of an asylum,
to protect the Public At Large"
Mac-arena says, "and as evidence of her insanity, look at her skin
colour: it is raven grey."
Mac-arena says, "53 Autumn 538: PATIENT X says, "No it's not. It's
lilywhite"

And many days later:

8 Winter, 538
Blitz ponders, "PATIENT X has one hell of a rash"
(PATIENT X scratches her neck thoughtfully and glances at Tessa)

Patient develops an irritating skin lesion, anterior lateral C6 (at the
right base of her neck l. insertion planal clavicular)

25 Spring 538

Biopsy taken of affected area (With the assistance and agreement of
PATIENT X's good friend Ataru).  Analysis revealed infection with a
trans-genetic mutagen.  Systemic changes noted at the nucleotide level
within cells.  Scans show subdermal lesions extending laterally and
medially from the spine and brain stem.  Nature or effect of lesions
unknown at this time.  Method of insertion of the infectious agent
appears to have been through an incision made in the base of the neck,
which shows signs of tissue necrosis.  Progression of gangrene however
is not present.  There must be some antibacterial agent at work at the
site of the wound.

Because of the progression and nature of the disease, psychological and
neurological effects are indicated.  The patient shows irrational fear
of and resistance to treatment.

Further research:

Independent research and advice of others pointed me toward research
into the Neodew situation frequently discussed in town.  Samples from a
variety of species of Neodews bear genetic resemblance to the sample
taken from PATIENT X's neck.  PATIENT X herself claims to have been
"dewed" but the method of insertion of this agent is commonly oral, and
not subdermal.  I suspect that PATIENT X's case is unusual in this
regard.

10 Autumn 538

In vivio incubation of an active reagent commenced, research into
possible cures begun.    Continued to observe and monitor PATIENT X to
measure the progression of disease.

2 Winter 540

Administration of active reagent seemed unlikely because the patient is
making every effort to avoid treatment and care.  So, the
administration of a possible cure was subcontracted to Mr. Bubba.
However, he has disappeared.  I do not know if PATIENT X has received
the treatment.  However, she does not yet show any signs of change.
Further biopsy and imaging indicated.

Tessa

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
Behind the Mystic II

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
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