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FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Published irregularly at Paramedic's whim"

Issue #39: "The Togron Nut"
[May 28, 2001]
Circulation: 159

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Tarf the Dwarf, for the Volympics Survey
   http://www.cet.com/~tarf/VolympicsSurvey/
* Thoom Mailing List: Thoom- and ThoomCare-related information and
discussions
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Phroon the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
   http://homepage.mac.com/phroon/
* Domino the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
* ThoomCare is opening a third hospital, in Sasquatch Valley
* Crippler the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter,
remains missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm explores Sasquatch Valley
* Battle with the bugs on Umbrion's Island
* Alchemy bowl madness has gripped the town of Puddleby
* Algernon in jail
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Adventures in Sasquatch Valley
* Potion vendor Mar Solkin settles in Puddleby
* Pottery shop opens in town
* New mystic pub
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Darshak invasion
* Qual gets frightened
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_008_17_20 on 8 Winter, 542 at 18:22..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Savage of attempted murder..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 100 minutes in jail, 0c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_009_02_40 on 9 Winter, 542 at 3:27..."
Clerus says, "The Clown accused Algernon of (I'm rescuing him from the
Tor Inn)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 555 minutes in jail, 4161c
fine and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_012_12_42 on 12 Winter, 542 at 13:43..."
Clerus says, "Robin accused Icy of share-toggling nonstop..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_017_06_33 on 17 Winter, 542 at 7:19..."
Clerus says, "Luc accused Natas of wearing an impolite tattoo..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 86 minutes in jail, 437c fine
and 0 days banished."


Election results:
#187: Would you like a gardening-type shop selling: kudzu, berries,
spores etc. at higher prices than they go for in sunstone auctions?
17 (24%): Yes, that's a good idea; I want to buy zu not farm 'em
13 (18%): No, I'm happy spending hours aimlessly running through
Tanglewood looking for orgaberries
33 (46%): Maybe, but prices need to be sorted out to be fair
6 (8%): None of the above
2 (3%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Mujin-kun, Puffy, Thuja,
Sai, and Kanna."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Icy, Algernon, Felicity,
Janus, and Speedier."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
PARAMEDIC TALKS WITH DEADMEAT, PUDDLEBY'S FAVORITE UNDINE

This month's feature interview is a fascinating discussion with
Deadmeat, your friendly neighborhood undine. This exclusive interview
will help to answer many of the questions citizens of Puddleby have
about this prominent public figure.

WAITING FOR UNDINE

Deadmeat thinks to you, "Hang on, about to assist on a rescue in Orga
Camp. I'll be in town as soon as I can."
You think to Deadmeat, "great"
You concentrate on sending your message to Deadmeat.
Snow says, "Hey Para"
(Paramedic is here for a Fishwrap interview)
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)
(Coriakin looks around for someone newsworthy)
Paramedic says, "Deadmeat is the interviewee."
(Coriakin nods)
Coriakin says, "Aye, he's newsworthy."
Paramedic says, "Indeed."
Coriakin says, "But not around."
Paramedic says, "He's on his way."
K'Pyn thinks, "ok, what's a "togron nut"?"
Coriakin thinks, "I don't know, but if it's a bard part, I want it ;)"
K'Pyn thinks, "lol"
Paramedic thinks, "I had to have my togron nut tightened a few months
back"
K'Pyn thinks, "oh suuuure you did Para... suuuure you did."
Snow thinks, "Too much information, Para"
Paramedic thinks, "It's an outpatient procedure"
Snow ponders, "ranky!"
(Phineas sniffs his underarm.)
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
(Phineas looks vaguely around.)
Phineas ponders, "Snow is right!"
(Phineas frowns.)
(Paramedic hands Phineas some deodorant)
Phineas says, "Ah! thanks."
(Phineas spills it.)
Phineas ponders, "Oops."
(Phineas fills the bottle with puddle water and returns it to
Paramedic)
Phineas says, "Er, thanks, Para."
Paramedic says, "Oh you can keep it, Phineas"
Phineas exclaims, "Ah! Thanks!"
Snow says, "Para"
(Paramedic is waiting for undine...)
Snow asks, "Can I ask you a quick question?"
Paramedic says, "Sure, Snow"
Snow says, "Merlisk is so mad he's not speaking to me..."
Paramedic exclaims, "Hm!"
Paramedic says, "Merlisk is usually quite even-tempered."
Snow says, "Yeah"
Paramedic says, "How unusual"
Paramedic asks, "Why is he mad?"
Snow says, "I think I must have offended him on some cultural level"
Snow says, "Well..."
Paramedic asks, "Did you yank his throatsac?"
(Snow chuckles.)
Snow ponders, "Not recently"
Paramedic says, "Ah."
Snow says, "He hasn't told me, but I have heard."
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Snow says, "Heya Meaty"
Deadmeat says, "Hi, sorry about the wait"
Paramedic says, "Hi Deadmeat"
Snow says, "It can wait, Para"
Paramedic says, "that's ok"
Snow says, "Go ahead with Meaty"
Phineas says, "Ah! Hello, Deadmeat."
Paramedic says, "sure? go ahead"
Deadmeat asks, "Oh, whoops, was I interrupting something?"
Paramedic says, "no not at all"
Snow says, "Nah, just do yer interview. I got things to puzzle."
Deadmeat ponders, "It might take a while."
Paramedic says, "Ok."

UNDINE OR HUMAN: THAT IS THE QUESTION

Algernon ponders, "It feels like it's 8:36 am on Gradi, Day 90 of
Autumn."
Paramedic says, "We're pleased to have Deadmeat here for a Fishwrap
feature interview"
Phineas exclaims, "Whoot!"
Paramedic says, "Welcome Deadmeat, it's a pleasure"
(Phineas listens.)
Deadmeat says, "Thanks Paramedic. I'm pleased to be here."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Paramedic says, "Let's get started."
Paramedic asks, "Can you tell us a bit about yourself? You're an
undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, well, that's one of the things I wanted to clear
up."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat asks, "When you look at me, I mean, really look at me, what do
you see?"
Paramedic says, "Well, you're green and a bit messy"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes, that's on the outside. But on the inside..."
Deadmeat ponders, "/info me"
Deadmeat is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of GDI.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(Puddleby's favorite undine.  Member of the Catenae.)
(Phineas looks.)
Deadmeat says, "I'm afraid that I'm actually human."
Paramedic says, "You appear to be Puddleby's favorite undine"
(Snow gasps)
Paramedic says, "yet you also seem to be human"
Deadmeat says, "Yeah, all part of the illusion, I'm afraid."
Paramedic says, "it's a contradiction"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Deadmeat says, "You see, I was born a human"
(Paramedic listens)
Deadmeat says, "but I have found more acceptance here in Puddleby by
pretending to be an undine."
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Deadmeat says, "It's kind of hard to explain, but if you ever saw me
without my, er, costume, maybe you'd understand."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't really consider yourself undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, at this point..."
Deadmeat says, "I've been visiting the wraith for so long that I feel
that most of Puddleby accepts me as an undine"
Deadmeat says, "so I do consider myself an undine in that way."
Paramedic asks, "Are you comfortable with this arrangement?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes. Yes, I am."
Deadmeat says, "And here's why."
Deadmeat says, "Right now, when people see me in town, or out in the
forests,"
Deadmeat says, "the typical reaction is, 'Hey, there's Deadmeat, the
undine.'"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Deadmeat says, "But if you ever saw me in human form,"
Deadmeat says, "the typical reaction would be"
Deadmeat exclaims, "'OH GAIA! What happened to your FACE!?!?!'"
Deadmeat says, "'What kind of horrible accident were you in?'"
Deadmeat says, "So..."
Deadmeat says, "I have found that by visiting the wraith who disguises
me as an undine"
Deadmeat says, "fewer people run screaming in fear from me."
Deadmeat asks, "Kind of ironic, eh?"
Paramedic asks, "So in other words, being undine has become an
essential part of your identity?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I believe it has."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think your human self is somehow offputting to
others?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes, it is. Becoming an undine has improved my
social life quite a lot."
Paramedic says, "You do seem to have found wide acceptance in
Puddleby."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, and I'm grateful that Puddleby is such an
accepting society. But, I believe it is a lot easier to accept an
undine than a horribly ugly human."
Paramedic asks, "Are you sure you are really ugly or is it that people
are just accustomed to your undine appearance?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I try not to let people see me as a human..."
Deadmeat ponders, "thank goodness that we have cloaks now!"
Deadmeat says, "but believe me, the undine look is a definite
improvement."
Paramedic says, "You do a good job; I have only seen you as human maybe
once or twice at most"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I used to have a real problem on the other
islands."
(Paramedic nods)

HANGIN' WITH UNDINE

Paramedic asks, "Have you developed any contacts with the other
undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, yes"
Paramedic asks, "Oh really?"
Deadmeat says, "Some of the other undine have accepted me as one of
their own."
Deadmeat says, "The wraith who lives under the hut, for example..."
Paramedic asks, "So what do you think of them?"
Deadmeat says, "I have a very close working relationship with him."
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Deadmeat says, "The rest of the undine? Most of them are mindless
beasts..."
Paramedic says, "That's unfortunate"
Deadmeat says, "but a few are worth hanging out with."
Deadmeat says, "The problem is that they usually get killed fairly
quickly by the other exiles."
Paramedic says, "Ah, so no time to develop those social ties"
Deadmeat says, "I don't blame the exiles, of course..."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "It's hard to tell the mindless beast undines from the
conversationalists."
Deadmeat ponders, "er, is that a word?"
Paramedic asks, "So what do you think of human-undine relations in
general? Are they getting worse? Better?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, we used to have a real problem in Lilit. But I
haven't seen her for quite some time."
Paramedic says, "Yes, she seems to have disappeared."
Paramedic asks, "Did you think Lilit was a force for evil or good?"
Deadmeat says, "That's an interesting question."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "I think that she had her beliefs, which were fine,
there's nothing wrong in holding those seances or whatever down in the
pit..."
Deadmeat says, "but for some reason, she was the candle and other
exiles were like moths to the flame."
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Deadmeat says, "People always fell during those rituals, and she would
interfere in the rescue."
Paramedic says, "Yes, that was very dangerous"
Deadmeat says, "Personally, I got along with her OK. I left her alone
when she had to do her thing..."
Deadmeat says, "but there always used to be problems when she was
around, and I think that all undines have gotten a bad name because of
it."
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Have any exiles expressed fear or concern about you
because you appear to be an undine?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, a few have, initially upon meeting me"
Deadmeat says, "but most people seem to be OK once they get to know me
a little."
Paramedic says, "That's interesting."
Nyika ponders, "Deadmeat is wonderful."
Deadmeat says, "Heh, I remember when a new exile saw me running over by
the docks, and yelled out 'ZOMBIE!'"
Deadmeat says, "I stopped and said "Yes?""
Paramedic says, "hahahaha"
Deadmeat says, "I think he was afraid I was going to hurt somebody."
Deadmeat says, "I get that a lot at the beginning, but it gets better
pretty fast."
Paramedic says, "I think it says a lot about the people of Puddleby
that you have encountered such acceptance."
Deadmeat says, "I totally agree."
Deadmeat says, "I really can't imagine what it would have been like if
I was still on the mainland."
Deadmeat ponders, "Well, no wraith there for one..."
Paramedic asks, "Did you come to exile voluntarily?"
Deadmeat says, "No, no, I was exiled for crimes against the Ascendancy,
just like most of us."
Paramedic says, "Ah I see."

SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY

Paramedic says, "Well, I think one of the reasons people think highly
of you is your devotion to community service."
Paramedic says, "Few do as much rescue work as you"
Tarf ponders, "Oh sure, I'm a scoundrel but he's dedicated to public
service!"
Deadmeat says, "Oh yes, I'm proud to serve the community. And I
appreciate being invited into the ThoomCare™ chain gang."
Deadmeat is a member in good standing in the following organizations:
ThoomCare™ Affiliates
Paramedic is the leader of ThoomCare™ Affiliates
Paramedic says, "We're proud to have you as a member of the ThoomCare™
Chain Gang, and your work there has always been outstanding"
Deadmeat says, "Thank you, Paramedic. That means a lot to me."
Paramedic says, "Let's move on to rescues then...."
Paramedic asks, "Where do you tend to do most rescues these days?"
Deadmeat says, "If I'm alone, I tend to wander the forests. Especially
the northwest forest."
Deadmeat says, "But mostly, I listen for rescue opportunities on the
sunstone network."
Paramedic says, "I tend to work NWF a lot also."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, it's a very popular place for both falling and
rescues."
Paramedic says, "The sunstone network is pretty much essential for
rescue work"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I really don't know how I lived before I got my
sunstone."
Paramedic says, "Me neither."

THE CHAINS THAT BIND

Paramedic asks, "Chains: how is your work with chains going?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I'm very proud of my work with chains in general,
and in the Catenae in particular."
Deadmeat says, "I have studied a great deal with Loovma Geer. I believe
I'm one of his better students."
Paramedic says, "The Catenae have been emerging as a significant
group."
Paramedic says, "I found that Loovma has really helped me keep my
chains intact for a long period."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, the Catenae has been a great advance for all of
the dedicated chainers in the lands."
Deadmeat says, "And as a fighter, I have found that I am easily able to
make enough money to afford to keep my chains maintained on those
unfortunate occasions when they break."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "As a rescue healer, I find a chain indispensable"
Deadmeat asks, "I'm kind of curious about that, actually. Do you mind
if I ask you about that, or should I wait until the end?"
Paramedic says, "Oh, go ahead"
Deadmeat says, "Well, as a fighter and a chainer, my choice is to,
well, fight or chain."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "And it's usually pretty clear which to do. If there
aren't so many beasts, I fight, and if there's too many, I chain."
Deadmeat asks, "How do you make the "heal or chain" decision?"
Paramedic says, "That's an interesting question."
Paramedic says, "I chain a lot more than most healers. Mainly because I
have a lot of training with Loovma, so I can take the risk of chain
breakage"
Deadmeat says, "I see. That makes sense."
Paramedic says, "I know many healers raise an eyebrow at how often I
chain. But..."
Paramedic says, "I'd rather chain the wounded to a hospital and heal
them there"
Paramedic says, "After all, that was part of my original reasoning
behind the founding of ThoomCare hospitals."
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I've seen in Koric's journal where he is always
weighing the "heal or chain" decision..."
Deadmeat says, "I just wanted to get another healer and chainer's
opinion."
Paramedic says, "You'll notice in that same vein that I don't fall very
often."
Deadmeat says, "I have noticed that."
Paramedic says, "I'd rather use my chain and not worry about falling."
Paramedic says, "Also...."
Bones is now Clanning.
Paramedic says, "I don't have much Horus training, so chaining is often
a necessity for me"
Deadmeat says, "Ah, of course."
Deadmeat says, "If you can't raise them at all, you might as well take
them somewhere safe."
Paramedic says, "Exactly. I think for healers like Koric or Lorikeet
there is more of a sense..."
Paramedic says, "of challenge in terms of seeing if they have enough
Horus to raise someone."
Paramedic says, "My training hasn't stressed Horus."
Paramedic says, "I'm all about action. I like grabbing the wounded and
getting out of the danger zone."
Paramedic exclaims, "Greetings, Bones!"
Bones says, "I see that building outside the library had an 'accident'"
Bones ponders, "finally."
Paramedic says, "Yeah, there was an 'accident'"
Deadmeat ponders, "I've already forgotten, what building was that?"
Paramedic says, "The tunnel builder."
Deadmeat says, "Oh yeah. I guess since the tunnels got built, she
should have moved on a while back."
Paramedic asks, "Given the choice, Deadmeat, do you lean toward
chaining or fighting?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, it depends on the situation of course."
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "If there's fur to be had and there's little danger of
me falling, I will fight"
Deadmeat says, "but if there's any danger at all, I am usually one of
the first to chain and run."
(Bones thooms.)
Paramedic says, "I enjoy chaining. I think there's some good strategy
to it if it is done well"
Deadmeat says, "Some of the chaining that I enjoy most are in the
massive raids"
Paramedic says, "Oh yes"
Deadmeat says, "when there are fallens everywhere, and a good chainer
is the only hope to save a bunch of people."
Paramedic says, "It's a rush to grab 3-10 people"
Deadmeat says, "Oh yes, I enjoy that very much."
Bones says, "Hey, Para"
Bones asks, "You think Fishwrap would sponsor a fish-eating contest?"
Paramedic says, "Certainly."
Bones says, "It would be a good promotion"
Paramedic says, "But we'd need fish."
Bones says, "true"
Bones says, "I think Pucker has fish."

AXE THE QUESTION

Paramedic says, "Let's move on to weapons...."
Paramedic asks, "What is your weapon of choice?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, I spend most of my time with my trusty axe."
Deadmeat shows his axe to everyone.
Paramedic asks, "You like the powerful blunt blow of an axe?"
Deadmeat says, "I've found that it's the best weapon for most of the
situations that I find myself in."
Deadmeat says, "It does enough damage to kill things quickly, but it
doesn't weigh me down too much."
Paramedic asks, "Do you use a shield?"
Deadmeat says, "Yes, I almost always have my shield equipped."
Paramedic says, "Me too. I like mine a lot."
Romuli shows his cluster of togron nuts to everyone.
Paramedic says, "!!"
Deadmeat says, "I've gotten used to fighting with it, so now it feels
strange if I don't have it on while I'm fighting."
Paramedic asks, "While we're on this topic, what circle fighter are
you?"
Deadmeat says, "I'm a third circle fighter."
Deadmeat says, "It's been a few zodiacs since I passed the test."
Paramedic asks, "Think you'll make fourth soon?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I think that's pretty unlikely."
Deadmeat says, "I'm not training to pass the fourth circle test at the
moment, I'm trying to bulk up a little so I can survive more hits."
Paramedic says, "I know the feeling."

A LOOSELY-ORGANIZED CLAN

Paramedic asks, "Can you tell our readers a bit about your clan?"
Deadmeat says, "Well yes, I'd be happy to."
Deadmeat says, "I'm in the clan "GDI""
(Paramedic nods)
Deadmeat says, "which stands for... well, it stands for whatever you
want it to stand for."
Paramedic asks, "Are you a close-knit clan?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I would say not."
Deadmeat says, "We like to think of ourselves as loners, rebels..."
Paramedic says, "Ahhh"
Deadmeat says, "We mainly joined the clan so that people will know if
we fall."
Deadmeat says, "And occasionally we get some clan experience, but
that's just a bonus."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't have clan meetings, etc.?"
Deadmeat says, "It's really not much of a clan, just a loose-knit
association of loners."
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Deadmeat says, "Well, we've officially defined a clan meeting as "any
time two or more clan members are on the same snell""
Paramedic says, "heh"
Deadmeat says, "So we have meetings occasionally."
Deadmeat says, "We've recently lost a lot of members to the new Clan of
the Purple Tor"
Deadmeat says, "which is pretty similar actually, from what I
understand -- no rules, no meetings, etc."
Paramedic says, "Yes, that clan seems to be expanding quickly right
now"
Deadmeat says, "but I'm sticking with GDI."

SIGHTSEEING

Paramedic asks, "Have you been on any of the expeditions to Umbrion's
Island or the Foothills?"
Deadmeat says, "I have not yet been to Umbrion's Island."
Deadmeat says, "I went to the foothills once."
Paramedic asks, "How did that go?"
Deadmeat says, "Well, it was OK. I guess it didn't really match up to
our expectations..."
Deadmeat says, "we all read in Lundar's and Koric's journals about how
they made thousands and thousands of coins"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes"
Deadmeat says, "so it seemed like all of Puddleby turned out for this
expedition a few weeks ago."
Paramedic says, "then the cash flow stopped..."
Deadmeat says, "And then when we got there, there were, well, lots of
midnight wendeckas, and their furs weren't worth as much..."
Paramedic says, "Alas"
Deadmeat says, "So I spent a few days there, and then I came home."
Paramedic asks, "did you make a decent amount?"
Deadmeat says, "Eh, a few hundred coins."
Paramedic says, "Ehh, not all that much"
Deadmeat says, "Not as much as I would have made if I had stayed around
here."
Deadmeat says, "But I'm not complaining. It was a valuable experience."
(Paramedic nods.)
Deadmeat says, "I got to hunt with some folks that I hadn't hunted with
before. And I saw some lands that I had never seen before. So it was a
worthwhile trip."
Paramedic says, "I hope we can find a library out there"
Deadmeat says, "Well, that would be kind of nice. It would really make
people feel safer about making the long trip there."
Paramedic says, "Indeed."

"BRAINS..."

Paramedic says, "Well, I think we're coming to the close of our
interview....before we get to your question for me..."
Paramedic asks, "do you have any other comments about undine for our
readers?"
Deadmeat says, "No, I don't think so. I think that for the most part,
the exile-undine relations are pretty much as expected..."
Deadmeat says, "and as long as most of them are mindless brutes who
want to suck our brains out and eat them, I am all in favor of killing
them when necessary."
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic says, "Well, as you know, at the end of a Fishwrap
interview...."
Paramedic says, "the person being interviewed gets to ask the Thoom 1
(ONE) question"
Paramedic says, "so you may now ask ONE (1) question."
Deadmeat says, "OK, I don't really have a good question to ask, so I'll
ask a lame one."
Paramedic says, "OK."
Deadmeat asks, "Have you ever visited the wraith under the hut, and if
so, why, and if not, why not?"
Deadmeat ponders, "Does that count as one question? It's more like
five."
Paramedic says, "That's a good question."
Paramedic says, "I have visited him, actually"
Paramedic says, "and I have taken on the appearance of an undine a few
times"
Paramedic says, "to get a sense of how the world looks through undine
eyes"
Paramedic says, "I found it to be a worthwhile experience."
Deadmeat says, "Well, that's good. I think that if more exiles do that,
we'll all come to a better understanding of the undine."
Paramedic says, "I think so too."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for a great interview, Deadmeat!"
You gave good karma to Deadmeat, Thooooom!!!
Deadmeat says, "Thanks for talking to me, Paramedic. I hope your
readers find it entertaining."
Paramedic says, "Oh they will."
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)
(Deadmeat waves)

#####
A BRIEF LIFE OF SUM
BY SUM THE THOOM

    Recently exiled, I washed up with few memories of my former life
intact. Without a past, a man - or a Thoom - has no future. Without
one's footsteps behind, one cannot know where to place one's footsteps
ahead. And yet this was not entirely bad. My lack of a reference point
allowed me to adapt to life on the islands fairly quickly. Indeed, many
things seemed most familiar. In time, I recalled the Zo friend of mine,
who had once sent me letters from these same islands. The sight of
Giant Vermine, and Undine, and Wendeckas brought to mind this now-
passed friend of mine, and I put his knowledge to use. Thus armed, I
have been learning much.

    More recently, however, I have begun to have more complete
recollections. Rather than somewhat troubling flashes of insight or
memory, arriving at random - and sometimes inopportune - intervals, I
have happened upon more solid memories, and these have come to me as
friends. They began with the most full remembrance to date. This
occured, oddly enough, whilest bathing. I had entered a nice and muddy
pond, having disrobed to the level of decency, and had begun to bathe
in the soft, cool mud, when a passer-by commented upon markings upon my
back. I rotated my eyes about in their soft sockets and looked. Sure
enough, the breadth of my back was covered with a large, circular
tattoo. As soon as my eyes fixed upon it, much memory returned to me.
It did not come back in flashes of vision or any such thing. I simply
remembered, as though I had never forgotton.

    The tattoo was, of course, the coiled sea serpent. This is the mon
of the Damp Dragon Dojo. In the homelands of my people, there remain a
few such organizations. Our kind has never been war-like, but there
have always been, nonetheless, those who study the arts of living as a
part of nature, with the elements of the world, and the art of motion.
These things lend themselves well to martial arts, as those whose lives
are devoted to the study of the world around us, and of our place
within it and as a part of it, do learn much control over their bodies,
and of the magics of motion.

    From what I can remember, I lived for many years - more than two
decades - at a mountain monastery. I alternated between training with
the masters in the temple, and in the dojo, and the solitary life of
reflection, meditation, and contemplation in the countless caves higher
up in the mountains. I cannot recall whether I was born in such a
temple, or was brought there when just a babe, or even if I sought it
out of my own accord. For the moment, all that I can recall includes
bits of the daily toil of life in the temple, training in the martial
arts in the dojo, and lifetimes of meditation upon mountains.

    I know the path that lies before me. My duty, my purpose, is to
found a sect of the Damp Dragon Dojo here, on the isles. I must find
those other Thooms who seek the way of unarmed combat, and who are
willing to learn. I must find them, and bring them together. I must
teach them what I can recall - which, at the current time, is limited
to but a few katas and standing forms, as well as some simple koans -
and learn what they, in turn, can teach. I realize that they are few,
in these islands - indeed, they were few even in the homelands - but
that is my path nonetheless. I am no master. I am a student, as are we
all, and have but incomplete recollection. However, I am patient, and
open to the world, and have nothing but optimism for the future.

    I hope that perhaps others of my kind will see a common bond, and
smile upon this goal. I hope that those who are not Thooms yet who
practice the art of weaponless combat may be willing to share
techniques and wisdom. The dojo will not be open to them at first,
though their company will always be warmly welcomed. In time, however,
perhaps some of these katas - which are truly best suited for the Thoom
physiology - can be transcribed, as it were, for non-Thooms. Likewise,
I look for support - whether passive or active - from my brothers and
sisters who form ThoomCare, for their path, too, is difficult, yet also
good, and noble. Truly, I hope that my fellow Thooms of all professions
will look kindly upon this venture. Indeed, I shall need four others to
join me, before the dojo may be founded. But that will come in time.

    What little I can recall of my past life is mystifying, and
intriguing. It is, at the same time, enough to show me clearly where my
path leads. What hills, brambles, and rivers may stand in my way are
only yet to be discovered. But I feel certain that, with the kindness
shown to me thus far, I shall be able to reach my goal.

    I am Sum, of the Damp Dragon Dojo. My life behind is clouded in a
haze of misrecollection. My life ahead is clouded in a haze of
uncertainty. Yet the present - my life with you, right now - shines
bright with promise, with friendship, and with the positive calm which
contains all and which contains nothing, called mu: no-thought. From
this void, all things are possible.

    I thank you for your time.

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
(TWO INSTALLMENTS)
BY TYKING II

1)
What is going on? Absolutely nothing. I haven't heard from Tenebrion in
many zodiacs. I'm not sure why, but when I finally do see him again,
there will be some big issues on hand. Umbrion hasn't been doing much
lately. I've heard about the "forbidden knowledge" that you can
supposedly learn. Tenebrion told me of a similar thing that I could not
learn (some of his skills), but I'm not sure if they're the same.
Recently, I met up with the being known as Jynx. My lessons learning
the Zo language finally paid off. I do not have a transcript of the
conversation as it was erased by Jynx's strange energy emanations, but
this is how it goes: we are surrounded by riptures. Not the big
riptures like we saw in the Ripture Wars, but instead tiny ones. Jynx
and the rest of his kind are there to fix these riptures. According to
Jynx, I am cursed. When I asked what the curse was, Jynx told me that
if I knew what the curse was or how to fix it, it would become
permanent. Also according to Jynx, Axell is blessed. Jynx has been
looking for Axell, why, I don't know. Jynx also told me that Tenebrion
is doing damage to the planes, but not as much as other things. He told
me that he only fixes things that are "broken". When I asked if I was
broken, Jynx projected a beam of light onto me, and then replied "No".
When I asked any other questions, like where he came from, or the names
of his colleagues, he replied with "Yes". It seems that many words in
his language can only be translated into "Yes". I would hope to be able
to learn Jynx's tongue in the future.

Keep watching the Planes,
Tyking II

2)
You all know about the Ethereal Plane. It's rather annoying to have to
find the crystal shards and go through the zodiac room to get to it,
isn't it? Wouldn't it be great if you could just open up a portal to
the plane at will? Well, now you can! Tenebrion is offering an Ethereal
Portal Stone to Puddleby! All he asks for in return is a Teleportation
Stone, one of those stones that we get from the FMOCR. This Ethereal
Portal Stone would be a great addition to Puddlebean Society, so I urge
any mystic in possession of a Teleportation Stone to please engage in
that trade with Tenebrion.

Tyking II
Servant of Tenebrion

#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

I recently acquired this OW! great new sword. OW! It's very effective,
OW!, but it hurts when I use it. Any OW! suggestions?

      Malthea

A: Dear "Malthea":

Put that sword away before you put your eye out.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

While I was in East Forest, a starbuck walked up and bit me right on
the forehead. Should I be concerned about Lyme disease?

      Nalkor

A: Dear uh, "Nalkor":

Probably. Hey, did you just take my wallet?

---

Q: Dear Dr. Thoom,

Some guy with a funny accent is stalking me. He and I had a little
fling a while ago, but we've grown apart.

      Jababaga

A: Dear "Jababaga":

Don't worry, Super Chicken is harmless.

---

Q: Goode Doctor Thoome:

What shoulde I do about this infernal itching and burning?

      Ye Olde Knighte

A: Deare Mr. Knighte:

Spend less time at the Purple Tor Inn.

---

Q: Dear Dr. Thoom:

Lately, I have noticed that when I bend my arm backwards, it hurts.
Would smoking medical tangleweed help this condition?

      A.Nonny Muss Dorf

A: Stick to your beer and leave the medication to the professionals.

#####
DORF ON THE STREET
BY CHARLOS

Charlos says, "I'm here with Sephiroth"
Charlos asks, "Sephiroth, what's your favorite food?"
Sephiroth says, "cake"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Sephiroth says, "uh... I like cake"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?""
Sephiroth asks, "the bakery?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Aries says, "hook me up next, C"
Aries exclaims, "yes sir!"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Aries"
Charlos asks, "Aries, what's your favorite food?"
Aries says, "veal"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Aries says, "it's not an obsession ...chumpy"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Sephiroth says, "heh"
Aries says, "from baby cows .... they put em in boxes"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "MojoJojo, what's your favorite food?"
MojoJojo says, "sushi"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
MojoJojo says, "it is all slimy and slithers down your throat real
gooey like"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
MojoJojo says, "cya"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with AgratisMellin"
Charlos asks, "AgratisMellin, what's your favorite food?"
Something whispers, "don't have one"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Something whispers, "hmm ?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Something whispers, "well ooc I come from germany"

Charlos yells, "Ho Ha!"
Raldin says, "Hiya Charlos"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Raldin says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Raldin"
Charlos asks, "Raldin, what's your favorite food?"
Raldin says, "beer"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Raldin says, "It's in my blood and I can't shake it"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Raldin asks, "Some sort of beer god, I'd imagine?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Raldin bows)
(Charlos bows)

Charlos asks, "Joey, what's your favorite food?"
Joey says, "Myrm Meat"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Joey says, "Well, it's really good with myrm hunny =D"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Joey exclaims, "Myrms, of course!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Huggs, what's your favorite food?"
Huggs exclaims, "Rats!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Huggs exclaims, "They're crunchy and salty!"
Charlos asks, "Where do they come from?"
Huggs says, "Rat towers, I suppose"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Darnok says, "sure Charlos"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Darnok"
Charlos asks, "Darnok, what's your favorite food?"
Darnok says, "Beer"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Darnok says, "It tastes good and it makes you act funny"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Darnok says, "A keg"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Darnok says, "heh"

Perrin exclaims, "Well... I guess Thoo... I mean fish is good!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Perrin says, "Well... I wouldn't necessarily call it obsession.."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
(Perrin chuckles.)
Perrin exclaims, "From my love of the sea!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Alcades exclaims, "Meat!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Alcades asks, "Do you really have to ask?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Alcades asks, "Trees?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Leonin exclaims, "sauteed mushrooms!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Leonin says, "ToO many nights spore hunting :)"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Leonin asks, "What - the obsession?"
Charlos says, "sure"
Charlos says, "or the mushrooms"
Charlos says, "or both"
Leonin says, "Ah :)"
Leonin says, "The mushrooms are mostly from the marsh"
Leonin says, "The desire is because they are pleasing to my palate"
Leonin says, "And I sometimes find spores to give to my healer friends"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Cobalt says, "I can try"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Cobalt"
Charlos asks, "Cobalt, what's your favorite food?"
Cobalt says, "humm"
Cobalt eats a drake drop and coughs out a puff of smoke.
Cobalt says, "I guess"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Cobalt says, "I love fire"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Cobalt says, "deep within"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Gorvin, what's your favorite food?"
Gorvin says, "Uh... tangleberry pie I guess..."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Gorvin says, "Uh... I don't know..."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Gorvin asks, "Nowhere...?"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Gold Moon shrugs.)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Gold Moon"
Charlos asks, "Gold Moon, what's your favorite food?"
Gold Moon says, "Food."
Gold Moon says, "Food is good."
Gold Moon says, "Yup. Indeed."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Gold Moon says, "Pure insanity."
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?
Gold Moon says, "Behind Shadowmutt's ears."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Gold Moon says, "Heh"

Charlos says, "I always kinda liked shishkabobed crawlers"

Zippy says, "Er"
Zippy says, "Hmmm"
Zippy says, "That would have to be campfire-cooked Large Midnight
Wendy"
Zippy says, "my specialty :)"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Zippy says, "I've only been able to make it once"
Zippy says, "probably over a year ago"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Zippy says, "The Foothills"

Charlos asks, "Rowen, what's your favorite food?"
(Rowen thinks about that)
Rowen says, "Chocolate"
Rowen says, "anything chocolate"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Rowen asks, "obsession?"
Rowen says, "I just like it, I'm not obsessed or anything, really"
Charlos says, "so you say"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Rowen asks, "umm... Coco trees?"

Sephroth says, "Roasted Lamb rack with a little myrm honey"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Sephroth says, "it's good"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Sephroth says, "Lamb and myrm eggs"

Charlos asks, "Chelsea, what's your favorite food?"
Chelsea exclaims, "Tangleberry pie!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Chelsea says, "I can't afford it so I have to steal it"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Chelsea asks, "The tanglewood?"

Katan says, "Island panther steak"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Katan asks, "Obsession, with island panther steak?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Katan says, "It comes from panthers"

Iho says, "Bacon"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Iho asks, "with food or my general obsession?"
Charlos says, "heh, yea"
Charlos says, "with bacon"
Iho says, "We had pigs on the farm"
Iho says, "And I used to like bacon a lot"
Iho says, "as simple as that"

Kalle' says, "I like Savannah maha steak."
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Kalle' asks, "obsession?"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Kalle' says, "The savannah maha steak comes from savannah mahas."

Tara says, "well ...goat, slowly cooked over an open campfire is kinda
yummy"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Tara says, "mmm, wel, I just like roasted goat"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Tara asks, "From mommy goats?"

Crunch says, "Orga brains"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Crunch exclaims, "Obsession!"
Crunch says, "Hmm"
Crunch says, "Well, it's the proper thing to do after victory, and
dishonors the dead orga"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Crunch exclaims, "Cracked orga skulls!"

Fist of Fluff says, "Well, I think I'd have to say meshra"
Fist of Fluff says, "Roasted Meshra"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Fist of Fluff says, "I wouldn't call it an obsession, really"
Fist of Fluff says, "I just like to have it with each meal"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Fist of Fluff says, "I was stuck in the meshra lair once and it was the
only thing there to eat"

(Tumble blushes)
Tumble asks, "uhm cookies?"
Tumble exclaims, "definitely cookies!"
Charlos asks, "How do you explain your obsession?"
Tumble exclaims, "I..I can't!"
Charlos asks, "Where does it come from?"
Tumble says, "I think from mom"
Tumble ponders, "everything comes from mom"
(Tumble waves to mom)

#####
FULL MOON ORGA CAMP RAID REPORT
BY NYSSA

This report is nearly a zodiac old, but I thought some of those
interested might not have seen it in the other venues.

There was another raid on the deep orga camps during the time of the
full Moon. One group reached the 4th orga camp early in the day. That
group had some close calls, but managed to hold on until strongly
reinforced about 10 am. After that there was very little difficulty in
holding on until noon and the appearance of the orga magician.

Raldin originally claimed he alone had the right to enter the power
room. Upon persuasion from Malkor and Zorton, he proved himself to be
more than reasonable by not only acknowledging that I had a right to
seek the stone as well, but allowing me to enter first. He seemed
confident that I would be no more successful than a zodiac ago, and
said he agreed in order "to put an end to this nonsense," apparently
meaning the idea that anyone but a Council-certified Mystic had a
chance to get a stone.

The defeat of the magician was accomplished quickly.

I entered the power room. Several other raiders who seemed interested
in touring, entered and left the room. Despite these interruptions, I
eventually was able to find out that, as I reckoned to be the most
likely possibility, that the powerful magic in the room was no more
comprehensible to me than it had been the previous zodiac.

I left the room and called to Raldin to enter. He did so, but although
he is a Mystic recognized by the Council, he apparently has less
training than I in what seems to be the appropriate discipline. Thus he
was not successful either. Then Malkor tried to enter the room. He
could not do so. He handed the stone which he had obtained last zodiac
to Raldin, then he could enter. He found a second stone there.

There was stiff resistance on the way out of the camps. We almost left
Leogic behind, since the raiders dispersed very rapidly. He was rescued
however, and as far as I know, there were no departs from the camps
that day (correct?).

Raldin apparently plans to keep Malkor's stone, although I do not think
it was intended as a gift. Malkor does not seem interested in pressing
the issue, and Raldin may feel he is entitled to it. On a personal and
extremely biased note, I do not see how he is any more entitled than a
mystic with more training and previous effort in these raids, for
instance, myself. ;-) I think it is unlikely that he will be persuaded
otherwise however.

We have learned some interesting things in these last two raids. First,
if more than one person enters the power room, it does not mean no
stone can be obtained. Still, only one person must be in the room
uninterrupted for some time to get it. Also, it does not matter if the
person is a recognized Mystic. On the other hand, for all practical
considerations, the person must be one, because they must have enough
training with a Mystic level trainer. Finally, as I suggested, and
Malkor and I learned last zodiac, it is possible to give or sell the
stones to others, much as some other Mystic tools can be.

I am still interested in obtaining a stone for myself, since the
reasons I had for it have not changed. My personal participation in a
raid is not necessary to achieve this and the participation of a more
highly trained mystic is, yet I will still be willing to participate as
needed in order to obtain more stones for others or for myself. The
full Moon next zodiac is on Soldi (as it always is) on the 60th day of
Autumn, 541 (ooc Wednesday, May 9 at 10 am to 4 pm PDT). Perhaps
sufficient numbers of Exiles will be available to have a successful
raid. I can be available if someone wishes to organize a raid, but of
course one of the more highly trained Mystics must be as well, at least
at the final stage.

Nyssa

#####
POETRY

"On Alchemy"
by Odesseus

To venture ye forthe in an alchemical mannyre
Firstly requires some idle blathyre.

Spake firstly to one whose bene theyre for longe
Then to one whose just set up in towne.

Longe ye must walk to a northerne wet bodye
Spake now, ye go weste, a sandy-clawed ladye.

Travelle yet 'gain back to whence ye started
Spake again to the seconde from whome ye had parted.

I telle ye must have some woode for the nexte
Or wandering withoute ye'll become quite vexte.>>>

To a new firey spotte ye'll make the nexte gaine
But 'ware the white munkies, they'll bashe out ye braines.

Back ye go, 'rounde 'gain into towne
Spake 'gain to the second who gives but a frown.

Off ye must tramp to a land windye and raised
Where ye knowledge of "seeds" will be some appraised.

Successe at last! Ye've completed the goal!
Awarded ye be, with an alchemical bowle!

If more hints ye need, I can give with a wynke
But before ye aske, I tell ye to THYNKE!

---

Haiku
by Sum

Whilest travelling in the south forest with the healer Snow and a few
others, we fell upon some good luck, and then some bad luck, and then
some good luck. These were a maha, a Zerk, and slaying both. However,
Snow was upset that she had not been able to share in the victories
first-hand. Being in that place, this haiku, dedicated to her, came to
me:

    Snow sighs from rooftops.
    The wind blows down the mountain.
    Winter takes a breath.


#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/


In Santa Barbara they stopped at a fish restaurant in what seemed to be
a converted warehouse.

Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.

Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a
passing waitress by the arm and berated her.

"Why's this fish so bloody good?" he demanded, angrily.

"Please excuse my friend," said Fenchurch to the startled waitress. "I
think he's having a nice day at last."

  - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

It's time to produce the next Fishwrap Magazine, and while I have a
couple submissions, they are nowhere near enough to produce a whole
issue. If you'd like to submit something, now is the time.

Suggestions:

clan profiles (we've only had about 3!)
exile profiles (a biography of you or another exile)
reports on new hunting grounds or weapons

Thoom on,

Paramedic
Editor, Fishwrap Magazine

Some of you may have received the last Fishwrap (and with 2 different
issue numbers in the headline) - my apologies for that.

There's a new poll up today.

And thanks to all those who reponded to the call for submissions. I got
a lot of great material and really appreciated it.

I'd like to get some more clan profiles, and I'm also interested in
publishing more exile profiles/bios, like the one for Tuert in the last
issue.

Para

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"Use only as directed"

Issue #38: "Chocolate Astral Bunnies"
[April 27, 2001]
Circulation: 154

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Rael the Squonk
   http://www.berberland.com/cl
* Thoom Mailing List: Thoom- and ThoomCare-related information and
discussions
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thoom
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Durandal the Thoom, ThoomCare member, now has a caduceus
* Paramedic the Thoom, ThoomCare member, is now a full pathfinder
* Luthic Darkus, ThoomCare member, is now a fourth circle healer
* Thealer the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
* Mysterious worms bored holes north of north farms to new myrm hive
and Umbrion's Island
* Babajaga has a new scroll on Tenebrion's Island:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/library/crysquest/crystals.html
* Marfisa the Fen is back after a long absence
* Cripper the Thoom, ThoomCare member and Senior Fishwrap Reporter, is
missing

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Adventures in lava
* Malkor has a stone
* The Wheels of Justice
* Adventures in Dentistry
* Marfisa uses Norm's kerchief
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Nyssa leaving Puddleby?
* Yet Another Full Moon Orga Camp Raid
* Rising Claw defeats the Rat Bastards in a close Dun'ilsar contest
* Tooth trainer Dentir Longtooth arrives in Puddleby
* Foothills update
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Babajaga stuck in library
* Deep Thoughts from Qual the Wizard
* Excess rats
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_223_21_33 on 43 Summer, 541 at 22:18..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Sir Adam of obscenity and annoyance..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 105 minutes in jail, 522c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_224_06_43 on 44 Summer, 541 at 7:40..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Sir Adam of harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 116 minutes in jail, 788c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_229_07_09 on 49 Summer, 541 at 8:15..."
Clerus says, "Kalle' accused Tyking II of Harassing...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 55 minutes in jail, 187c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_230_01_55 on 50 Summer, 541 at 2:45..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Michael of a loss of experience as well
as time and a good hunt..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_234_17_00 on 54 Summer, 541 at 17:55..."
Clerus says, "Zeus accused Tenebrion of breaking a contract on a
duel..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_237_19_04 on 57 Summer, 541 at 20:03..."
Clerus says, "Bat accused Larloch of selling stolen property...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 126 minutes in jail, 800c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_261_07_37 on 81 Summer, 541 at 8:45..."
Clerus says, "Felicity accused Dobbin of unjust cause of cursing and
harrassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 26 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_263_06_12 on 83 Summer, 541 at 6:41..."
Clerus says, "Spazmodier accused Algernon of making everyone miss him
terribly..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_265_06_44 on 85 Summer, 541 at 7:44..."
Clerus says, "Lion-O accused Tara of healing snerts...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 116 minutes in jail, 154c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_270_04_48 on 90 Summer, 541 at 6:08..."
Clerus says, "Achates accused White Wolf of lack of punctuality and
being a loafer..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 61 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

Election results:
#183: What do you hate most about chainers?
2 (3%): They make the world unbalanced.
7 (11%): They expect monetary compensation.
11 (18%): They chain too much and too quickly without thinking.
5 (8%): They take away the challenge of hunts, rescues, raids, etc.
31 (50%): None of the above
6 (10%): Abstain
---
#184: Did you contribute to the PMC slush fund to have your coins given
away to some undeserving newbie?!
4 (6%): Yes, yes I did. I'm an evil Marxist.
1 (2%): No! I wanted my coins to go towards finding the passage. Give
'em back!
5 (8%): Well, I didn't contribute any coins, but I _am_ a worthless
newbie looking for handouts… so … yeah!
13 (21%): Why don't we instead give the coins to poor Mystics who need
the funds to study advanced training?
29 (47%): None of the above
10 (16%): Abstain
---
#185: A new cloak has been proposed. Should the cloak divulge one's
gender?  Details at http://www.cet.com/~tarf/Cloak.html
35 (56%): New cloak should be gender specific: a separate male and
female icon (with chest) made for both the tall and the short exiles
20 (32%): New cloak should conceal one's gender, so that both males and
females would wear the same cloak icon.
4 (6%): None of the above
3 (5%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
The Gubara report has been put on hiatus until Gubara starts reporting
on people whose names begin with letters other than A, B, or C.

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans continue to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have one
from Rising Claw.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Nuba Yo!

  - Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH NEVYN THE MYSTIC

Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Paramedic says, "Readers of the Fishwrap have requested a Nevyn
interview."
(Malkor holds a tangleberry pie under Comus' nose.)
Nevyn has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Journeyman Mystic, and
is wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding an Orb of Caesindre.
Nevyn has 26 good and 1 bad karma.
Nevyn says, "Er? Why would.."
Nevyn says, "Hum."
Malkor asks, "Comus?"
Paramedic says, "Someone even left a note on my door."
Malkor ponders, "Hrm"
Malkor ponders, "Comus must have fainted from hunger."
Paramedic says, "'Interview Nevyn' it said"
(Malkor smiles.)
Nevyn says, "Hm."
Nevyn asks, "Not a case of mistaken identity?"
Paramedic says, "Nope."
Paramedic says, "One cannot deny the signs."
Paramedic asks, "Would this be a good time for an interview?"
Nevyn says, "Give me a couple minutes first, then sure."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Bones says, "Ah yes, we need to interview more Thooms like Nevyn here."
Nevyn exclaims, "!"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I hear he's a Thoom."
Paramedic says, "That's the word on the street."
Paramedic says, "'Nevyn is a Thoom' they say"
Bones says, "Thoom on the street"
Erasmus yells, "Thoom!"
Erasmus is a Thoom, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
Open Hands.
He is holding a dagger.
Bones says, "Thoom"
Paramedic asks, "'Open Hands'?"
Paramedic asks, "New clan?"
Bones says, "yes"
Erasmus says, "yes"
Bones says, "pretty big too"
Paramedic asks, "Really?"
Erasmus says, "I'm one of the co-founders"
Bones says, "mostly newer exiles"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Erasmus says, "Yeps"
Nevyn says, "Ok"
Paramedic says, "Welcome to the Fishwrap interview."
Nevyn asks, "Well, er, thanks?"
(Slyph smooches Bones)
Slyph says, "Hey you"
Paramedic says, "Let's start with some introductory stuff. Tell our
readers a little about yourself."
(Slyph gives Bones a fishie treat with frosting)
Bones asks, "where are the bunnies?"
Erasmus ponders, "Nice, a real fishwrap interview"
(Bones munches.)
Nevyn says, "Hrrm."
Bones says, "Slyph, you know Erasmus"
Slyph says, "yes, I have met him a few times now"
Erasmus says, "yeps"
Slyph says, "Hi, Erasmus :)"
Nevyn says, "I'm an avid butterfly seeker that aspires to someday help
fight the Darshak Theocracy."
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Erasmus says, "Hi Slyph"
Cassandra says, "chocolate astral bunnies"
(Malkor smiles and munches on a peep.)
(Slyph has a soft spot for Thooms)
Erasmus says, "Bones is my role model :-)"
Nevyn says, "And, well, maybe even help right some wrongs back on the
mainland."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Do you like being a mystic?"
Nevyn says, "Er, I wouldn't know, I haven't made it yet."
Paramedic says, "Good point."
Paramedic asks, "Do you have high hopes for becoming one?"
Nevyn says, "Well, if it happens, it happens..."
Nevyn says, "I'm content helping as I can."
Paramedic says, "That makes sense."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think you are making good progress?"
Nevyn says, "Well, it's hard to say."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "I've done a review of fourth circle fighters with the
training dummies we used to have"
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "But in the field the response to my training is markedly
less, um, receptive."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Paramedic says, "Well, let's shift gears a bit here."
Paramedic asks, "What do you say to the rumors that you are actually a
Thoom?"
Nevyn says, "I couldn't possibly refute such a claim."
(Nevyn pulls cowl closed tight.)
(Paramedic tries to peer in.)
(Paramedic has no luck.)
Paramedic says, "So you have no comment on the matter."
Nevyn says, "Well, no."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think that some day you will reveal your race?"
Nevyn says, "I tried that, I don't think so."
Paramedic asks, "You tried it?"
Nevyn says, "Er, no."
Nevyn says, "Well...yes."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
(Nevyn glares at Xel.)
Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Xel ponders, "Sorry, just sharing healers, jeez =P"
Xel starts playing his gitor for himself.
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean when you say you tried it?"
Nevyn says, "I wasn't concealed originally."
Paramedic asks, "What did you appear as?"
Nevyn says, "Something less concealed."
(Paramedic nods and writes that down.)
Paramedic says, "Ok. next question"
Paramedic asks, "Some call you "Nevyn the Frazzled." Why?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I signed some of my work that way."
Paramedic asks, "Ah, what do you mean by that?"
Paramedic asks, "Are you very busy?"
Nevyn says, "A few articles about Astral Spark or the Ripture War were
written..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "when life as an exile was very frantic."
Nevyn says, "People needed to know how to listen to Astral Spark, and
it wasn't happening."
Paramedic says, "So you have been in Puddleby a long time, Nevyn."
Nevyn says, "Well, yes."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Have things improved here in town?"
(Nevyn looks at the mud, the puddles, and the lack of tiles in town
square.)
Nevyn says, "Well.... yes."
Nevyn ponders, "Somewhere."
(Paramedic nods sadly.)
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
Nevyn says, "Well, there's more things to do, more of the conveniences
of a real city."
Paramedic asks, "Gift shops, tattoo parlors, etc.?"
Nevyn says, "Brewery, Bakery..."
Nevyn says, "Less like a border town or penal colony."
Paramedic says, "High culture."
Nevyn says, "Well, heh."
Nevyn says, "Still waiting for my first batch of mushrooms from the
mushroom shop though."
Paramedic says, "Just don't get the poisonous ones."
Nevyn says, "Well, even those would be better than the current foul-
smelling hole :)"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "How is the rat killing going?"
Cross says, "I met a creature of poor attitude"
(Bones nods.)
Cross says, "and big teeth"
Bones says, "big pointy teeth"
Cross says, "it stood on two feet"
Cross says, "I thought it was another player"
Bones says, "That's a detached spirit"
Cross exclaims, "!!!!!"
Paramedic asks, "I see you are a member of the Red Quill. How is that
working out for you?"
Nevyn says, "Quite well..."
Nevyn says, "I was originally a member of the Laughing Academy..."
(Paramedic nods)
Nevyn says, "Which was good, because I had absolutely no
responsibilities, perfect for me."
Paramedic says, "Is Laughing Academy around still? I don't see their
members much anymore...."
(Niccolo giggles)
Niccolo exclaims, "hey!"
Niccolo says, "hush up"
Niccolo is a Sylvan, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
The Laughing Academy.
He is holding a moonstone and a mounted rat.
(He is Perrin's Brother)
Nevyn asks, "Well, Super Chicken I saw just the other bawking day?"
Niccolo says, "No derogatory comments about Laughing Academy"
Paramedic says, "Oh yes, Super Chicken, and Niccolo here too"
Paramedic says, "I was not making fun, Niccolo..."
Niccolo says, "good"
You just received good karma from Niccolo, good
Paramedic says, "I just hadn't seen a member in a while"
Paramedic says, "I like the Laughing Academy"
Nevyn says, "But... when the Ripture War came..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "I needed to help a little more, that only seemed possible
in a different clan."
Nevyn says, "I broke in on a Red Quill meeting and asked for their help
to do something..."
(Paramedic listens)
Nevyn says, "and they said 'sit, you're now in the Red Quill'"
Paramedic says, "Hrm, interesting initiation procedure"
Nevyn says, "Well, they'd already voted."
Paramedic says, "Oh."
Nevyn says, "I didn't know that though."
Paramedic says, "How are things with Red Quill these days? Some say
some members have left the clan..."
Nevyn says, "Well...."
Nevyn says, "There's always an influx and an outflux."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't see it as anything unusual?"
Nevyn says, "It's like the saying 'May you live in interesting times'"
Paramedic says, "Ahhh..."
Nevyn says, "Ooh."
Nevyn says, "Butterfly, sorry."
(Nevyn runs off.)
(Paramedic watches Nevyn run off.)
Nevyn says, "Sigh."
(Slyph smiles warmly)
Paramedic asks, "No luck?"
Nevyn says, "They died off."
Paramedic says, "Argh."
Paramedic asks, "What is the significance of butterflies?"
Nevyn asks, "Er?"
Paramedic asks, "Why do you chase them?"
Nevyn exclaims, "They're great!"
Nevyn says, "When you're a butterfly you can forget about..."
Nevyn says, "Well, everything."
Paramedic says, "Ah,..."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Paramedic asks, "Ok, where are your favorite places to travel or hunt?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I like to see most anywhere, but it's sort of
contraindicated due to health reasons."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
Nevyn asks, "Er, leave town -> dead journeyman?"
Paramedic says, "Oh."
Nevyn says, "Unless there's mob or a clan hunt pretty much."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "What do you think about Tenebrion?"
Nevyn says, "Hmm."
Nevyn says, "I don't trust his researches at all, they are too deeply
into Necromancy."
Paramedic asks, "So you don't trust him?"
Nevyn says, "He makes promises he can't keep..."
(Paramedic nods)
Nevyn says, "He's personable, we might be able to trust him for minor
things..."
Nevyn says, "But there's no way I'd let him at a purgatory pendant."
Paramedic asks, "How about this Umbrion guy?"
Nevyn says, "He's scarier."
Nevyn says, "He's more casual with his power, and seems to be more
confrontational than Tenebrion."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been to Umbrion's Island?"
Nevyn says, "The Ethereal plane, but not to Umbrion's island."
Paramedic asks, "What was the Ethereal plane like?"
Nevyn asks, "Scary?"
Paramedic asks, "What were the monsters like?"
Nevyn says, "Well..."
(Nevyn scratches head.)
Paramedic says, "They were bad, in other words."
Nevyn says, "Somewhat like the Astral, if I recall correctly, but
tougher."
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Paramedic asks, "So what's in the future for Nevyn? Your hopes? Plans?"
Slyph says, "Dannit, Bones, yer so sexy."
(Bones nods.)
Slyph says, "Tone it down a little."
Paramedic says, "Close off that spigot, Bones"
Nevyn says, "Hopefully we'll be able to eradicate this viper's nest of
Darshak on Ash Island, and capture some real ships."
Nevyn says, "And I continue to study the mirrors, but that's something
most everyone's interested in."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "You are interested in sailing, Nevyn?"
Nevyn says, "Well, I don't like rowing myself..."
Nevyn says, "But...there are not too many ways to get back to the
mainland."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think what is beyond the south forest mirror is
the same as it was pre-ripture?"
(Bones shows Paramedic a visionstone)
Nevyn says, "I'm not sure, it really could be something drastically
different."
Bones says, "I went there after the war"
Nevyn says, "They don't seem to work the same way."
(Paramedic looks)
Paramedic asks, "Was it the same then, Bones?"
Bones says, "Yes..."
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "with some additions to the desert..."
Bones says, "a nice oasis"
Paramedic says, "Ah, I miss the desert"
Paramedic says, "trapping the sand tigers...."
Nevyn says, "And Cold and Snowy..."
Paramedic says, "Yes, what a great place to go"
Nevyn says, "We'd uncovered some interesting places there."
Paramedic says, "Ok, Nevyn, to conclude the interview you are allowed
to ask the Thoom one (1) question"
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE)"
Nevyn asks, "Can I ask questions about my question?"
Nevyn says, "Erk."
Clyde ponders, "There's your one."
Paramedic says, "That was your question. The answer was yes."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for a great interview!"
Nevyn says, "Oh good."
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"

#####
A BRIEF LIFE OF TUERT
BY TUERT THE THOOM, MYSTIC AND THOOMCARE MEMBER

To begin at the beginning, I am the third daughter of my mother and the
first child of my father, who was the youngest and favorite husband of
my mother, a redoubtable woman who remains, as far as I can know from
my prison here in the Lok'Groton Islands, a merchant of some renown in
my natal town. My father was a fisherman and sailor. He passed into the
arms of the She Who Moves the Seas when I was only a young swimmer,
lost at sea like great Fishwah. But the story of my childhood is
perhaps better left for another time as Thoomish tales are long.

I was apprenticed to Master Storyteller Shellwah when I reached the
proper age (ah, noble Shellwah; that is a name that stirs the memories
and imagination, is it not?). With him I studied singing, languages,
history, cartography, fencing, dancing, netmaking -- in short, the
usual. After seven years, my master proposed me for Guild membership,
and I was accepted. As a journeywoman I retraced the voyages of Fishwah
from his youthful ventures on his fabled ship the Pearl, to the
discovery of the Treasurehouse of Lost Akbek, the journeys with his
wife, Navigator-Mystic Gellfra, the years as First Admiral and
Commander in the Tlane Wars, and finally to study the mysterious and
tragic final voyage.

Having unearthed several admirable tales from Fishwah's time (the
reader will no doubt remember the popular "Song of Sorrow, Lith'ranael"
which was among those I brought back from the sea cave cache in East
Jeshtran), I found myself something of a celebrity. Nothing loathe to
take advantage of good publicity, I gathered a group of talented
musicians, dancers, and swimmers and formed a Thoomish Troupe. For some
years we traveled the Empire, among the most sought after of companies.

But how, you ask, did Tuert go from such success to exile? How from
triumph to these bleak islands? My friend, times are dark in the
empire. Necromancy, undead abominations, and fear are the tools that
the emperor has chosen to use to hold his power, though he has hidden
the extent of his evil from most of the citizenry. Seeing this, could I
be silent? Let us be frank. I am unlikely to be silent on any topic,
let alone one of such purport. Invited to perform at the Solstice
Celebration by then Viceroy Klegg (a thoroughly unpleasant woman), I
accepted with alacrity. "Raela Fletcher's Tale," the story of a young
archer who destroyed a Sorcerer Prince, freeing her people but at the
cost of her own life was my text. Raela's dying words left the audience
silent a moment, almost afraid to breathe. Then some bold soul in the
back began to cheer those stirring words, the applause began, and I
received a thunderous ovation.

Suffice it to say, the emperor's minions (in particular Klegg) were
appreciative of neither my selection nor the reaction it received. Upon
leaving the dais I was arrested. With the obscene rapidity that
characterizes the Imperial justice, I was exiled to the distant
Lok'Groton Islands for attempting to incite rebellion. It gives me some
satisfaction to note that the Viceroy did not live to hear that
sentence pronounced.

I hope and believe that the spark of rebellion that I saw in city,
town, and village in my travels smolders still in our homelands. Here
in this unlikely spot I have found many kindred spirits. With them I
study, learning new skills and honing old ones in the hope that some
day I shall be able to return to the Imperium and join those who fight
the Emperor.

I do have a few ideas about how to escape from this place and return to
the fray, but perhaps they are best left for another time.

#####
A CHAT WITH TENEBRION
BY HENRYK THE DORF

Tenebrion thinks to you, "My smith will not make armor for your people
until a complete state of peace exists between us."

You think to Tenebrion, "Ok, That is understood. The main reason the
people from where I live attack your castle is to go to the Ethereal
plane. Is there some way you can get us there so we don't have to
attack your home?"

Tenebrion thinks to you, "There are several other entrances to the
Ethereal plane."

You think to Tenebrion, "and they are not on your island?"

No response.

You think to Tenebrion, "I guess you do not want to answer that
question... I'm trying to figure out the answer because it will make it
a lot easier to keep people away from your castle. Is there an entrance
to the Ethereal plane on one of your brothers' islands?"

Tenebrion thinks to you, "The Ethereal Plane is not a playground. I
would recommend your people stay away from it."

You think to Tenebrion, "Aye, we have discovered that. I personally
will not go back there."

#####
CLAN PROFILE: RISING CLAW
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

Clan name: Rising Claw, a.k.a. The Disciples of Chil'tak
Established: Long time ago
Number of members: 30+
Scrolls: http://www.risingclaw.com

Rising Claw is patterned after the life of Chil'tak, a great warrior of
the People and statesfen. Following his mysterious disappearance very
long ago, a priestess, whose name has been long forgotten, created the
Clan of the Rising Claw, The Disciples of Chil'tak. Chil'tak continues
to be the inspiration and role model of the clan, and to some, even a
worshipped hero.

The clan's symbol, that of a reaching People's paw with unsheathed
claws,  symbolizes our desire to reach above our limits and to grasp
greater knowledge and understanding. We do not reach out with soft
paws, but use our claws to take it boldly. That knowledge is not kept,
but shared with all, so that all may benefit.

The original intent of the clan was to provide unity against other
surrounding factions and to give People of all castes a voice. Since
then, it has been taken up the struggle against the Ascendency, united
against the evil emperor Mobius. With the fall of The People's lands,
the clan was forced to splinter and hide. Several different factions of
Rising Claw may still exist on the mainland, although it has been many
years since any of the Puddleby members have had contact with them.

The Puddleby faction of Rising Claw was founded before the Ripture War
(OOC: somewhere around v37), by Aldernon, Bones, Bounty, Cyrus, Dora,
Hanako, John Junkar, John the Mighty, Korius, Magus, Pharazon, Priapus,
Shere Khan, Rakshasa, and Zilo. To Rising Claw's credit, many of the
founders are still active to this day.

The clan is made up of unique people, all maintaining their
individuality and not following any specific single path. I think that
is one of the greatest strengths of the clan, that we value everyone's
voice. It can be a cacophany of opinions sometimes, as we all discuss,
debate or argue points, but inevitably from this process the clan
grows, learns and thrives.

Overall, Rising Claw's members are a good-hearted bunch, ready to
rescue anyone, anywhere, to explore, assist and just plain ol' hunt.
The clan, more than everything else, I think, is known for its good
humor and sense of fun. We've got a few nicknames that poke fun at us,
like "Rise and Fall" or "Rather Chat," but it's all in high-spirits.
More than a clan, we are family and care and watch out for each other
as we watch over all the rest of Puddleby's exiles.

I can't think of a clan I rather be in.

If you've been laid low
By some nasty creature's blow,
Never fear! Give a howl!
Rising Claw is on the prowl!

#####
FERAL REPORT
BY SARETH OF RISING CLAW

Ferals expanding territory

The number of ferals on Loc Groton Island seems to be increasing,
forcing them into formerly feral-less territory. Most noticeable is
their increase in the Lake and North Plains area. A puddle-year ago, a
fighter could spend nearly an entire day in the area and quite possibly
not see a feral. Now, ferals are becoming almost as numerous there as
the artaks that attract so many pelt collectors. As an example,
recently I spent less than 2 hours there, and dispatched four ferals.

Reasons for the increase of ferals are unclear, but do raise concerns.
In a region with an ever-increasing exile population, it would seem
reasonable to expect feral populations to decrease as their territory
receives more and more visitors. Additionally, the expansion of their
territory is likely to lead to the decrease of other animal
populations, as ferals either eat them or take over their dens. Also
there is the noticeable increase in aggressive behavior on the part of
some ferals, most notably the grey feral, which I believe to be equally
dangerous, but more tenacious, then its slightly smarter cousins.

A number of concerned citizens (all one of me) are beginning to call
for an investigation into the reasons for the rise in feral populations
and what can be done about it. Perhaps the Puddleby Ornithological
Society can expand its bird watching to include the habits of ferals as
well. Also, exiles should be encouraged to help control the feral
population, allowing the return of better tasting and better looking
prey species to the areas ferals have moved into, thereby making the
lands safer for new exiles.

#####
TOOTH TRAINER ARRIVES IN TOWN
BY KORIC

[Calti addresses Zan Bountipay as Ippon sees them coming off the dock.]
  Calti Pouder says, "You're getting fat."
  Ippon asks, "Can I help you?"
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "And Skea!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, hello."
  Calti Pouder says, "Nice clothes."
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Not."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You seem to be doing pretty well here, Skea."
  Calti Pouder says, "We got your message."
  Skea Brightfur says, "Oh, good."

  Calti Pouder says, "There had better be plenty of kyten here to
justify our expenses."
  Skea Brightfur exclaims, "Of course there is!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Skea always was a little strange. Look how
she's working out here on the open beach."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Yes, Skea -- if you're so rich, how come you don't
have a house?"
  Ippon says, "No one has houses here..."
  Skea Brightfur exclaims, "I enjoy it here on the beach!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "No one? You mean we'll have to work out in the
open too? How... barbaric."
  Ippon says, "Well, you could occupy a house in the farms"
  Calti Pouder says, "There is no way I'm working outside."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "There must be somewhere we could set up our
business."

  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Without having to stand here with Skea."
  Ippon says, "There are a lot of empty huts in the farms"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Oh, so there are houses?"
  Ippon says, "Yeah"
  Ippon says, "Hardly anybody owns one though"
  Ippon says, "They just sit there empty, except for the rats of course"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Eew, rats."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You know they'll get into the kyten."
  (Calti Pouder laughs!)
  Ippon asks, "May I ask, what is a kyten?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Better than bird droppings and sand, I guess."
  Calti Pouder says, "Kyten powder? Just one of the most valuable
substances in the world."
  (Dentir Longtooth smiles.)
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Ignorant oaf."
  Ippon says, "Sorry, never heard of it"
  Dentir Longtooth exclaims, "What!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But... but Skea told us there was a good
supply here."
  Calti Pouder says, "Well, peasant, why don't you point us to one of
your fabulous homes."
  Ippon asks, "What does it come from?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Mandibles, of course."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "None of your damn business!"

  Ippon says, "Your friend seems to be in a bit of a mood."
  Ippon says, "The Darkhorse clan would be glad to lend you its hut"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "With all the time and expense of getting here,
only to find out all you have is raw materials..."
  (Dentir Longtooth sighs.)
  Calti Pouder says, "Whatever. I just want to rest somewhere that isn't
bobbing up and down in the waves."
  Ippon says, "Okay :)"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "All right, take us to this grand manor."
  [Ippon leads the pair east toward town from the docks.]
  Ippon says, "If you require an empty building, please say so :)"
  Calti Pouder says, "I don't require an empty building now, but I
will."

  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Well, what are we going to be sharing this
house with?"
  Ippon says, "Cairo"
  Calti Pouder says, "There seem to be lots of people over there."
  Ippon says, "He has been here awhile and can fill you in"
  (Calti Pouder points east.)
  Ippon says, "That is town square"
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is everybody there stupid?"
  Ippon says, "Some are :)"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Now, Calti, they can't help it."
[Calti is attacked by a small rat.]

  Calti Pouder yells, "Ack!"
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "I guess we'll just have to teach them what
they need to know."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "That thing tried to bite me!"
  Ippon asks, "Would you like to see our tooth supply?"
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Yes!"
  Ippon says, "We get some teeth from wurms"
  Ippon says, "Our biggest supply is east"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Wait..."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "You mean they're still on the animals?"
  Ippon says, "Yeah"

  Ippon says, "We have to remove them"
  Calti Pouder says, "Oh, that's useful."
  Ippon says, "Smack and pluck"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Great."
  Calti Pouder yells, "If there's no kyten here, I'm going to murder
you, Skea Brightfur!"
  Ippon says, "Same way skea gets her furs"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "How does Skea get her furs?"
  Ippon says, "People kill wild creatures and bring her the furs"
  Ippon says, "Some of us are better skinners then others"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "And she buys them from them?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Calti... this isn't looking good."
  (Calti Pouder nods.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I don't think Skea was entirely honest with
us."
  Ippon says, "Skea looks like she is doing well, though"
  Calti Pouder says, "Sure, if you like living on a beach."
  Ippon says, "That is a 15,000 coin outfit she is wearing"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, sure. Standing out in the open, attacked
by rats and birds. She's doing great, huh."
[By this time, Dentir, Calti and Ippon have arrived in town center.]
  Ippon says, "Aw, housing here is free"
  Calti Pouder asks, "So you have no mandibles at all collected?"

  Ippon says, "We can't seem to remove them without destroying them"
  (Calti Pouder groans.)
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Kind of a backward place. We should have
known."
  Ippon says, "May need a tool or something"
  Bean says, "Perhaps someone could teach us to collect the teeth."
  Ippon says, "Backwards, but ripe"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Isn't there anybody here who knows how to
remove a mandible intact?"
  Bumper ponders, "Merlisk?"
  Ippon says, "Afraid not"
  Calti Pouder ponders, "We're doomed."

  Ippon says, "We are willing to learn though"
  Bean says, "I'm sure Merlisk would like to improve his dentistry,
too."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is there any hope?"
  Ippon asks, "Well, is there a tool or teachings that can help?"
  Calti Pouder asks, "Can you bring us the corpse of a large insect?"
  Ippon says, "Sure"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "We're kind of stuck. After paying to get here,
we don't have enough money left to leave empty-handed."
  Ippon says, "I'll be right back with a myrm"
  Calti Pouder says, "Why don't you bring us a few, and we'll check them
out."
[At this point, Ippon and Yor go to the hive, kill several myrms and
chain them back to town center.]

  Ippon says, "Insects coming"
  Dentir Longtooth exclaims, "Aha!"
  Calti Pouder says, "Ah, that looks promising."
  Ippon says, "Farmer, noble, royal, queen"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well now, let's see here..."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "A little room, please."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "This can be a delicate operation."
  (Dentir Longtooth bends down near the myrm's head.)
  (Dentir Longtooth carefully removes the lower jaw from the myrm.)

[Calti walks over to the myrm farmer corpse and points.]
  Calti Pouder says, "This one here isn't bad. Not good, though,
either."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Calti, what do you think you could do with
this one?"
[Dentir points at the queen myrm corpse.]
  Calti Pouder says, "Much better."
  (Dentir Longtooth hands the mandible to Calti.)
  (Calti Pouder examinds the mandibles.)
  Calti Pouder says, "About 50 more like this and I might get a dose out
of it."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hmm."
  Ippon asks, "Might spiders be better?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's going to take us forever to earn enough
at that rate."
  Ippon says, "Well, once you get established, the supply increases"
  Calti Pouder says, "Nah, if every one of these peasants can fetch bugs
that fast, we should do OK."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It took this Thoom a good part of an hour just
to get these four."
  Calti Pouder says, "I've got an excellent buyer."
  Ippon says, "Well, yeah"
  Ippon says, "These are the big ones"
  Calti Pouder says, "You'll have to teach them to get the mandibles
themselves, though."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "I'm not going to spend my days doing that!"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Seems to be what Skea ended up doing, too."

  Calti Pouder ponders, "Ignorant oafs."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well, okay, but then you'll have to do all the
refining."
  Ippon says, "We can learn on our own fairly well"
  Calti Pouder says, "That seems fair."
  Ippon says, "We just have to shown the path"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You always were better at that than me
anyway."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "But I need a roof!"
  Ippon says, "Take one of the huts"
  Calti Pouder says, "My refining services won't be needed for quite a
while, I can tell."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "So, these are your corpses?"

  Calti Pouder says, "Pay the peasant, Dentir."
  Ippon says, "Give us a couple weeks with training and the teeth will
be rolling in"
  (Dentir Longtooth removes the mandibles from the other myrms.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Excuse me, please."
  Calti Pouder asks, "Is that little one as worthless as it looks?"
  Ippon says, "The noids to the east have lots of long pointy teeth"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can give you 10c for the big one, and 5c for
the rest together."
  (Calti Pouder pokes Dentir Longtooth.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Luckily I was able to take them off very
cleanly."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Too much!"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Well... but..."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "We have to make a profit, you know!"
  (Dentir Longtooth sighs.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You're right, you're right."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Will you take 10c for the lot?"
  Calti Pouder says, "We'll pay you folks for any useful mandibles you
find."
  Calti Pouder says, "And after you've brought enough, maybe I'll even
sell you some of our kyten."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But I had to do all the work of removing
them."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's not easy, you know."
  Sa'Wrap asks, "What is Kyten?"

  Calti Pouder says, "Kyten! Kyten powder! You know, 'kyten makes the
world go around?'"
  (Dentir Longtooth bursts out laughing.)
  Calti Pouder ponders, "Oafs."
  [At this point, a mammoth arachne corpse is dragged into town center
by Afrit.]
  Bumper says, "A mammoth it looks like."
  Clyde asks, "Dentir, can you do anything with the bug over there?"
  Bean asks, "What about the bug Afrit has brought?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, I'll pay you for these I just extracted,
and then if you want I'll teach you to remove the next ones yourself."
  Calti Pouder says, "That big spider over there looks OK."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, I'll show you on that big blue thing
over there."

  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Can you get these disgusting myrm corpses out
of the way now?"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "All right, Ippon? Is that what you're called?"
  Ippon says, "Yes"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Here, come get a good look at how it's done."
  (Ippon watches closely)
  (Dentir Longtooth points to the right places to remove the mandible
intact.)
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Go ahead, give it a try."
  (Ippon observes)
  (Ippon jots some notes down)
  (Ippon carefully pulls on the teeth.)

  (Dentir Longtooth): The mandible breaks in two.
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Ah! Well, a good try. This one looks kind of
hard."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But practice what I showed you, and you'll get
better at it."
  Ippon says, "I'll be sure to keep practicing"
  Destian asks, "Can you two remove scales, or is this the entire scope
of your abilities?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Scales? Why would we want those? It's
mandibles that make kyten."
  Calti Pouder exclaims, "Remember: broken mandibles are worthless!"
  Calti Pouder says, "I need them intact to extract the kyten powder."
  Ippon asks, "Any other tricks of the trade you need to show me?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You just need practice now, Ippon."

  Ippon says, "Okay :)"
  Ippon says, "Thanks"
  Destian asks, "Then have you any friends...saying you have
friends...who know the arts of scaling?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can't think of any who'd want to come to a
muddy, rat-infested place like this..."
  Ippon says, "Well, we aren't here by choice"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "But if anyone springs to mind, I'll be sure to
let you know."
  (Dentir Longtooth smirks.)
  Da Budda Buh says, "Just checking out the new envrions"
  Calti Pouder says, "If Skea had told us everything about this place,
we sure wouldn't be here now."
  Koric says, "Ah, friends of Skea."

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hah, we used to be friends of hers. Don't
count on it now, though."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Now, could somebody please show us to a place
to stay?"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Maybe somewhere near where the mandibles come
from?"
  Calti Pouder says, "Ah, an Inn would be lovely."
  Koric says, "We have some nice empty huts in the north farms, near the
myrm hive."
  Sala Dragon asks, "Are you more interested in myrm or arachne
mandibles?"
  Tuzar Bloodblade asks, "How much do you pay for a mandible?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It depends on how good it is. A couple of
coins, usually."
  Tuzar Bloodblade asks, "How much would you give for the perfect
mandible?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I'll tell you when I see one."

  Calti Pouder says, "The perfect mandible weighs more than you do."
  Tuzar Bloodblade says, "Those are big mandibles.."
  Ippon says, "There is a hut east that is close to three sources of
teeth"
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Well now, Calti. Should we try the Inn, or do
you want to be somewhere closer to work?"
  Calti Pouder says, "So where is this Inn? We need privacy."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, I say."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Before I go, does anyone else want to see how
to remove mandibles?"
  (Dentir Longtooth looks around.)
[Calti begins to walk south toward the Tor Inn at this point.]
  Calti Pouder yells, "Are you coming, Dentir, or should I go get a nap
without you?"

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh... we'll need a corpse for demonstration."
  Ippon says, "Dentir is busy accepting new students"
  Dentir Longtooth yells, "I'm going to show a couple more people how to
remove mandibles, so we can have a supply later."
  Calti Pouder yells, "OK! I'll come back when there are enough
mandibles to make a couple of doses of kyten powder!"
  Calti Pouder yells, "Good luck with these... people."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Those myrms worked pretty well, and that big
blue arachne was okay too."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's kyten! Wonderful stuff. Very valuable,
too, if you have the right buyer."
  Relkin says, "What does it do? :)"
  J'nder asks, "What can you use it for?"
  Lundar asks, "Kyten?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "That's right."

  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, we have a buyer already."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "It's used for all kinds of things."
  Ippon says, "Please tell me it is not an aphrodisiac"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Ah, there we go, something to show you all
on."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Bring it on over."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Now, who wants to see how to remove the
mandibles properly?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Gather around, if you want a demonstration."
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Who wants to learn these exercises?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Now, let's see here..."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "All right, here's how it's done."

  (Dentir Longtooth kneels by the corpse and carefully removes its
mandible.)
  Dentir Longtooth asks, "Did everyone see that?"
[After several more demonstrations, Dentir asks to move to a hut to
begin training others.]
  Koric asks, "Would you rather stay in a hut by yourself or with some
other trainers?"
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Oh, I don't want to share a hut unless it's
absolutely necessary."
[Koric leads Dentir to Troilus' hut in the North farms.]
  Koric says, "This is the hut where some trainers live."
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "Looks pretty run-down."
  Koric says, "I'm not sure of any others that are open."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Maybe something in another farm? Off east,
perhaps."

  (Rafiki points to the east farms... several there)
  Koric says, "We have some huts in the east farms, yes."
  Dentir Longtooth ponders, "I do so enjoy the sunrise."
  Koric says, "This way."
[We lead Dentir to the westernmost hut in the northern half of East
farms and he begins training others.]
  Dentir Longtooth says, "Hail, Destian. You have much to learn."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "I can teach you how to recover the mandibles
of some kinds of creatures."
  Dentir Longtooth says, "You will learn as you practice."

#####
DEPARTING EXILES
BY KIRIEL D'SOL THE SYLVAN

Winds of Dawn and Hearts of Tan have been hit lately by treasured
members leaving the lands. It's quite sad to lose loved ones and we do
hope they'll return soon. I hope that other clans are not suffering the
same fate right now.

The Winds of Dawn's Membership Coordinator Arteress Lai (better known
as Lilly) is taking an extended leave from life in Puddleby. Her post
on the clan messageboard can be found at:
http://www.windsofdawn.org/forum/showthread.html?threadid=352

The Hearts of Tan is losing Aethelred, seemingly for good (although
we're crossing our fingers that it will be temporary). This is also a
blow to Winds of Dawn, as Aethelred was our ambassador to Tan and a
good friend of the clan. His post on the Tan clan messageboard can be
found at:
http://boards.eesite.com/board.cgi?boardset=tanheart&boardid=news&
thread=25

  - Kiriel

#####
SKINNING IN THE FOOTHILLS
BY GORTON

(Many exiles have reported that skinning in the Foothills has been
quite lucrative.  The following is a report from Gorton on his
experiences.
  - Para)

Gorton's Wendecka Skinning Records

Greetings!
With all the buzz about the Foothills and the many types of wendeckas
to be skinned there, several exiles have asked me what some of my
records have been.  So here is a quick list to give you an idea of what
is possible with the right training.

White Wendecka 11c
Night Wendecka 15c
Day Wendecka 42c
Dusk Wendecka 67c
Dawn Wendecka 126c
Midnight Wendecka 133c
Large Midnight Wendecka 161c

Of course, not all will see such results. Only the most dedicated of
skinners can prevent ruining such skins entirely.  Hunter, my fellow
skinning compadre on the last raid, also was very successful. But even
he admitted to missing a few.  I hope to see some of these records fall
over the next few zodiacs as I plan to return on the next raid.

Remember, if ya need training in the art of skinning, I'd be happy to
teach you a few of my more valuable lessons.

  - Gorton, proud member of the Brotherhood of Independents and a
skinning trainer

#####
ASK THE THOOM

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Deadmeat the friendly undine sometimes drops some of his body parts on
my front lawn on his way to work in the morning. What's the polite way
to handle this situation?

      Troubled Exile

A: Dear Troubled:

I always wrap the parts completely and leave them at his front door
anonymously, to minimize embarassment all around.

---

Q: Hey Thoomboy:

What is the best way to dispose of a dead exile? And don't forget to
help keep your friendly neighborhood witch green.

      Prue, er, Brue, yeah that's it, Brue

A: Dear uh, "Brue":

Try the conference room; no one ever goes in there. Just stack'em like
cordwood and send Chum the bill.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom,

Did you steal the idea for an advice column from me or from Prue?

      Slif

A: Dear "Slif":

Neither you nor Prue ever submitted your columns. So, I decided to
revive my old "Ask the Thoom" forum, which used to be broadcast over
the sunstone network before the Ripture War.

---

Q: Goode Doctor Thoom:

Your professional advice will be much appreciated, deare friend. There
be this sylvan with whom I am besmitten, but it doth seem that our
relationship is to be doomed by the fickle goddess of Fortune. My heart
lies broken, torn asunder. Verily, it be true. Alas. Woe. [And so on,
edited for length. -Ed.] What can I do to heal my shattered soul and
cure a broken heart?

      Ye Olde Knighte

A: Deare Mr. Knighte:

Get a dog.

---

Q: Hey Mr. Thoom!

I keep falling all the time.  Any suggestions?

      Simian

A: Dear Simian:

Hunting with groups and with good healers can help reduce the frequency
of those painful mishaps. Remember: ThoomCare recommends never fighting
when severely wounded.

---

Q: Dear Mr. Thoom:

My cloak fits me very poorly. How can I assure a snugger fit?

      Turf the Dorf

A: Dear Turf:

Stilts.

---

Q: Excuse me, Mr. Thoom,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Wendie Roll Pop?

      Rael the Squonk

A: Dear Mr. Squonk:

Let's see. One, two, three...CRUNCH.  Three.

---

Q: Dear Paramedic:

Is Papa Thoom a certified physician?

      Deadmeat

A: Dear Deadmeat,

Oh, he's certified, alright.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Bones Opens Up the Spigot
Malkor: Through the Years
Tarf the Dwarf: Menace or Maniac?
Worf and Worg: Differences Explained
Wendeckas in the Mist: An Account of the Foothills
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

Doctor, doctor, give me the news
I've got a bad case of lovin' you
  - John Moon Martin

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
fishwrapmagazine group:

Will you be training with Dentir
Longtooth to learn how to extract
mandibles?


   o Yes, I want a new source of income
   o No, I don't think it's worth it
   o What are mandibles?


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/polls

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

The next issue of Fishwrap Magazine is coming to your front
porch in the next few days.

Unfortunately, there have been very few submissions lately.
If things don't get better soon, we'll be scraping the
bottom of the barrel and running:

* Malkor's baby pictures
* Sleipnir's laundry list
* Chum's very special collection of bakery receipts
* Super Chicken's list of feathers, sorted by location
* The ThoomCare in-house corporate brochure
* An itemized list of Narse's rocks and minerals collection

Please help save us from these articles.

Fishwrap needs more clan profiles, interviews and articles.
Also, a piece on new things since the last chaos storm.
Someone should do an investigative report on this whole
mandible thing, for example.

Para


=====
---
Paramedic the Thoom      mikeswanson_98@...

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Our last, best hope for peace"

Issue #37: "Crash, Bang, Splort, Yazack"
[April 12, 2001]
Circulation: 150

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Webscrolly-thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html
* Paramedic's Notebook: Fire Drake battle pictures now available
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/
* ClanLords:
   http://www.clanlords.com

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Rizal the Thoom, ThoomCare member, is now a third circle healer
* Mystara, Cradlesong, and Tara have become ThoomCare Affiliates
* Gift shop is open
* Room discovered in the Muddy North Forest rose

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Logs provide a way to escape Umbion's Isle?
* The mysterious Doikk
* Foothills expeditions continue
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Exiles travel Dal'Noth Island
* Horus healing and teaching
* Chamelopod Forest rescues
* Gigantic Feral Swarm
* "Two logs of wood and a barrel full of tar"
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Travels to the Ethereal Plane
* Sutai's workout
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_172_14_30 on 82 Spring, 541 at 15:29..."
Clerus says, "Alknelt accused Infectus of attempted kidnapping of Algy,
a defenceless...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 51 minutes in jail, 237c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_184_14_05 on 4 Summer, 541 at 14:58..."
Clerus says, "Delirium accused Malkor of murdering Bouncy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_200_17_41 on 20 Summer, 541 at 18:41..."
Clerus says, "Zephyrus accused Richard Simmons of disturbing the town
quite a bit..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 116 minutes in jail, 478c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_205_10_14 on 25 Summer, 541 at 10:58..."
Clerus says, "Dr Malthus accused Moe of Assault and Attempted
Murder..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

Election results:
#181: Should the town square of Puddleby be remodeled to look more
inviting?
32 (49%): Yes, I'm sick of sitting in mud!
4 (6%): No, I love soiling myself...
21 (32%): Maybe, it depends on how it might look.
3 (5%): None of the above
2 (3%): None of the above
3 (5%): Abstain
#182: What should the Island Umbrion dwells on be called?
7 (11%): "Damn, I Got Killed By an LSW" Island ("DIGCBaLSW"I)
5 (8%): "Island Whose Name We Cannot Agree On Though It Should Be Short
and Concise" (IWNWCAOTISBSaC)
7 (11%): "Evil Place of Pyromaniac (not to be confused with the exile
Pyromaniac) Brother of Tenebrion" (EPoP(ntbcwteP)BoT)
38 (59%): None of the above
7 (11%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Algernon, Aival, Amarais
Fina."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Algernon."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans continue to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have one
from the Hearts of Tan.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Nuba Yo!

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW: TYKING II
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic asks, "How are you getting along with Tenebrion these days?"
Tyking II says, "I have to admit, it's not as good as when you first
interviewed me"
Tyking II says, "He's lied to me..."
Paramedic asks, "Oh really?"
Paramedic says, "Hm"
Tyking II says, "Gotten me killed, and showed no care"
Paramedic says, "That's not good"
Tyking II says, "And he hasn't contacted me in a LONG time"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think something has happened to him?"
Tyking II says, "No..."
Tyking II says, "If something happened to Tenebrion, someone would
notice"
Tyking II says, "His guards are fine"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think is keeping him occupied?"
Tyking II says, "Perhaps he is trying to strengthen the spells of
protection around his other brother's islands"
Tyking II says, "Which one, I do not know"
Paramedic says, "Hrmmm."
Tyking II says, "Maybe Lugubrion"
Paramedic asks, "What is your impression of Umbrion?"
(Tyking II covers his mouth)
Tyking II says, "Oops"
Tyking II says, "I wasnt supposed to say that.."
Tyking II says, "Ah well"
Paramedic asks, "Lugubrion?"
Tyking II asks, "Umbrion?"
Tyking II asks, "Lugubrion?"
Tyking II says, "Who's Lugubrion?"
Tyking II says, "I don't know any Lugubrion"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Tyking II asks, "What was the next question?"
Paramedic asks, "ok then, what do you think of Umbrion?""
Tyking II asks, "Umbrion?"
Paramedic says, "yes, Umbrion"
Tyking II asks, "UmBrIoN?"
Tyking II asks, "UMBRION?"
Paramedic says, "Yeah, Umbrion"
Tyking II yells, "DIE UMBRION!"
Tyking II asks, "That answer your question?"
Paramedic says, "You don't seem to like him much"
Tyking II says, "Oh ya, oh ya"
Tyking II says, "I despise his very being"
Paramedic asks, "Is he evil?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "So should exiles go to Umbion's Island?"
Tyking II says, "In very large numbers, yes"
Tyking II says, "I want him dead"
Tyking II says, "And his keep destroyed"
Tyking II exclaims, "His guards, dead!"
Paramedic asks, "So you think he is that bad?"
Tyking II exclaims, "Worse than bad!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Despicable!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Horrible!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Terrible!"
Tyking II exclaims, "Zipzoopazorrible!"
Paramedic says, "That's not good"
Tyking II says, "He wants to burn down Puddleby"
Tyking II says, "And trust me, he can"
(Tyking II rubs the burn mark on his arm)
Tyking II says, "Umbrion gave me that"
Paramedic says, "That looks painful"
Tyking II says, "You betcha"
Tyking II says, "I'm standing in the conference room waiting"
Tyking II says, "And suddenly..."
Tyking II exclaims, "KABOOM!"
Tyking II says, "A stream of fire hits me and burns me to a crisp"
Paramedic says, "That is definitely bad"
Paramedic asks, "Tyking, have you been to Umbrion's Island?"
Tyking II says, "No."
Paramedic asks, "You consider Umbrion's Island dangerous?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
(Paramedic nods)
Tyking II says, "Very much so"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion warned me of it..."
Tyking II says, "Before Puddleby even knew about Umbrion's Island"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "Do you know anything about the other brothers?"
Tyking II says, "A few things"
Tyking II says, "I know their names"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "That they each have their own islands"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "That they can kill someone beyond departablility"
Paramedic says, "Ack, that would be bad"
Tyking II says, "And that they would have killed me had I been present
during the 'brion meeting."
Tyking II says, "That's about it."
Paramedic asks, "So they have threatened you in the past?"
Tyking II says, "Yes."
Tyking II says, "They are not as friendly as Tenebrion."
Paramedic says, "Ah, I see."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think Tenebrion is still conducting experiments
with Purgatory?"
Tyking II says, "He hasn't mentioned it lately"
Paramedic says, "That's interesting"
Paramedic asks, "Maybe they never worked out?"
Tyking II says, "I think he's trying to do something about the things
we're doing to the Ethereal Plane"
Paramedic asks, "He does not like exiles going to the Ethereal plane?"
Tyking II says, "I don't know"
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been on an Ethereal Plane trip?"
Tyking II says, "I went on one, but never got to the plane itself"
Paramedic says, "Same here."
Tyking II says, "I have contacts who have been there though"
Paramedic asks, "What did they tell you?"
Tyking II says, "They informed me of what happened during the trips"
Tyking II says, "About the ethereal sword"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "The monsters that lurk on the plane..."
Paramedic says, "It sounds quite dangerous there"
Tyking II says, "The pentagon snells, which I think is of a greater
importance than they think"
Paramedic asks, "oh really?"
Tyking II says, "It's the small things that make a big difference"
Paramedic asks, "So you recommend checking those out more?"
Tyking II says, "Yes."
(Paramedic makes a note of that)
Paramedic says, "Ok, one last question...."
(Tyking II nods)
Paramedic asks, "Where do you think things are ultimately going with
Puddleby and Tenebrion and his brothers? A big confrontation?"
Tyking II says, "One word."
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "Kaboom."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think exiles are prepared?"
Tyking II says, "Crash, bang, splort, yazack, the basic idea"
Tyking II says, "Nope"
Tyking II says, "Not at all"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think they could become prepared? Do they have
a chance?"
Tyking II says, "They have no idea how powerful Umbrion is"
Tyking II says, "They could..."
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "Maybe the shield holds the key..."
Paramedic asks, "Which shield?"
Tyking II says, "A Tenebrionic shield"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion has gotten Dan'dura'a to make one for me"
Paramedic asks, "Hm, to fend off Tenebrion?"
Paramedic asks, "Do you have it already?"
Tyking II says, "Nope"
Paramedic asks, "But you hope to get it soon?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic says, "Excellent. Let us know how that works out."
Tyking II says, "And when I do, I'll notify the fishwrap first :-)"
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview, Tyking. As always it was
very interesting"
Tyking II says, "Thank you."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

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In the interests of lowering Puddleby's rate of scurvy the Puddleby
Navy has launched an aggressive new health campaign.

All citizens are entitled to a free full body poke and check-up, teeth
scraping and a general limb tugging to make sure they are still
attached firmly. The official Naval Physician, Dr Tessa, will also
provide a free citrus thing.

Did Vagile say free??? Yes!!! The Puddleby Navy in underwriting this
health issue all out of its own funds. Any citizen is entitled to a
free check-up. Vagile will however accept voluntary donations to assist
this massively expensive undertaking.

Vagile would like to urge all Navy members to set a good example and
get their check-ups done early to set an excellent example to the rest
of the citizenary.

#####
CLAN PROFILE: THE HEARTS OF TAN
EXCERPTS FROM AN INTERVIEW WITH KARKRAS TANHEART
BY CALCHAS

Calchas: How did the Hearts of Tan come to be?

Karkras: Before the Hearts of Tan, there was the Tan Team. Five of us
newly-exiled bumped into each other one evening and headed off to the
hive together. We had fought our way through a nearly endless wave of
myrms, when we looked at each other and saw we were all wearing Tan
clothes.  We were proud of our accomplishment, as bloody and out of
breath as we were, the hive's denizens were so much cracked carapace at
our feet.  At that moment, some common thread in our lives and fates
intersected, and as if with a single voice, we all cried "Tan Team!"
At that instant, though we didn't know it at the time, was the genesis
of the Heart of Tan.

Calchas: You say that as if the Heart of Tan is an entity that was
born.

Karkras: I believe that. The Heart of Tan is greater than any one of
us; it is greater than the sum of us. The Heart of Tan more even, than
a synergy of our collected spirits.  It is an ideal; it is an energy;
it is hope and optimism; it is fidelity, honor, and fellowship; it is
reason and reward. When we declare that our "Hearts beat Tan," it means
that we are infused by these principles... A Heart of Tan does more
than carry our lifeblood -- it gives our lives meaning, our spirits
hope, and our paths direction.

Calchas: After the genesis, how did the Tan Team become the Hearts of
Tan?

Karkras: We told each other that we should found a clan but we didn't
know the hows, whos, or whats. We had a lot of questions, but few
answers. Because of this, the idea languored for a little while, even
though we were exploring and discovering together every day.  We all
wanted the clan to be "democratic," but no one stepped forward with a
comprehensive, unified vision.  It was then that I realized that the
Heart of Tan was what unified us, so I drafted up the original Tan
Project scroll which attempted to define ourselves and our principles.
Some of the Tan Team thought the document was heavy-handed,
undemocratic, and hypocritical, so they left us. The remaining Tan Team
ratified the vision and we worked hard over the next couple of weeks to
raise the money for the founding fees.  We did accept small
contributions, but we decided not to ask for coins; we wanted the
strength of our convictions to speak for us; with all of us barely-
trained newlings it was a daunting quest, but one that brought us
together, one that made us very proud to accomplish.

Calchas: I heard that the Tan Team almost had a very different destiny.

Karkras: That's true.  At first, with only 7-10 on the Team and no
banner to rally around yet, we took a proposal to the Silver Drakes.
In response, they offered to make the Tan Team a chapter of their clan,
"the Tan Talon." When we inspected this alternative more closely,
however, we realized that we had become a distinct entity, and voted
unanimously to follow our hearts, to become the Hearts of Tan.

Calchas: You began by wearing tan clothes, and your Clan's name and
color is Tan; why don't your members wear Tan?

Karkras: I hear that question so much! I'm glad you asked though.  We
are "the Hearts of Tan"-- we are not "the Clothes of Tan."  For the
same reason that the Winds of Dawn do not go naked flying around on
gusts of wind, and for the same reason that not every member Dwarven
Militia is a dwarf, we do not have to wear cheap tan clothes: we are
unified by a Set of Principles and Ideals, not by a uniform.  All
Dwarven Militia are dwarfs at heart.  We are Tan at Heart!

But it is no coincidence that we are "Tan" and our first shirts on this
island are Tan.  Nearly everyone remembers their first days in
Puddleby, when everything was new and the world was endless, full of
danger and challenge, with beasts to overcome, and a frontier to
explore.  That time is what we Hearts refer to as the "Tan Time": the
sense of wonder and vital excitement that new exiles feel during that
time, the strong bonds of friendship and fellowship that are formed,
the exhilarating surges felt in their hearts as they face danger and
vanquish foes; all these elements of the Tan Time we hold as ideals, we
also hold in our Hearts.  Our actions and our Hearts are what make us
Tan -- not the color of our shirts.

Calchas: You've talked about "the Heart of Tan" as a guiding force, but
how would you describe your Clan itself?

Karkras: Our Clan was founded based on the principles of Fellowship,
Fidelity, and Honor. The Hearts of Tan hold the wonder and excitement
of the newly-exiled as an ideal, and constantly strive to achieve and
maintain this ideal through exploration, embracing and assisting those
new to Lok-Groton, and continuously seeking opportunities, pushing
boundaries & expanding frontiers in both self development and
development of the Clan as a unified, dynamic entity.

Calchas: Does the Hearts of Tan have any special Clan Events or
Activities?

Karkras: We hold a Clan Meeting and Hunt every Zodiac, and a General
Election every other Spring.  Our Chief Treasurer schedules Fund-
Raising Hunts, and our Clan Expeditions Leader plans and schedules
special exploration expeditions (we're currently focused on the secrets
of Devil's Island).  We also have three other Events/Activities in the
works.

Calchas: What is a cross-section of your Clan's Membership?

Karkras: The Hearts of Tan comprise 29 exiles, including 16 fighters,
12 healers, and 1 mystic. All but 6 of us are Second Circle in our
respective Guilds; 5 are still First Circle; the pride of our clan
currently lies with Medissa, who just passed into the Healers' Third
Circle. We have 3 Lords, one of which is a talented Bard.

Calchas: You mentioned earlier that you have other events "in the
works" for the future. Can you share some details?

Karkras: [chuckles] Sure. We are planning a series of HeartQuests for
Tanmates. The first is mainly for New Hearts: the "Egg Run," in which
the New Heart must retrieve an egg from the Hive. The second involves
our "Mirror-Rose Circuit" race. The third involves the "Tan Lok-Groton
Lore Challenge."  Other ideas we have been throwing around involve a
"Gauntlet" run, a Relay-Drinking contest, Scroll-Writing, and Puzzle
Challenge. Tanmates who are successful in the various HeartQuests will
receive a special medal.  Oh, and we hope to take part in the Dun'ilsar
competitions one day soon.

Calchas: Where can an exile find the Hearts of Tan Webscrolls?

Karkras: They are easily accessable at http://www.tanhearts.org

Calchas: Thank you for talking with me today, Karkras!

Karkras: My Pleasure, Calchas! May the Tan Light forever Illuminate
your Path.

#####
FISHWRAP FISHCTION

This issue we have two entries of fiction from exiles.

First, "Exiled", Part One, by Odesseus.  Then a story by Leogic.

EXILED
BY ODESSEUS

Prologue

T'rryll cursed quietly as he rubbed the lump on his head. A loud bang
had awoken him from his sleep, causing him to sit bolt upright in this
confined area, resulting in cracking his head on a low beam. The boat
creaked and rolled, as it had done for the past two weeks. T'rryll
strained to open his gummy eyes. Dim light filtered through a couple of
cracks in  the deck above, casting a vague light about his small hiding
space. He tried to swallow, his tongue coated and swollen.

More bangs and loud shouts came down to him. A dim hope of getting off
this reeking, rocking prison rekindled in his breast. Fresh air!
Sunlight! Water by the gallon! Such dim dreams they seemed to be. But
the noise died down and his hope died with it.

How he arrived here was a folly of errors. He shook his head at his
predicament as he settled down to return to sleep.

Chapter 1

Their journey started out simply enough. He and seven others headed
east, the rolling hills of his homeland giving way to open desert. In a
couple of weeks, this in turn came to forest that contained small
hamlets filled  with people of different races. They were so unlike his
own. Trryll had seen some before near his home, but very few. It made
him uncomfortable.  Their hairless bodies and rubbery faces seemed
repulsive. Add to that their flat, harsh speech in a language that
Tryll could barely understand gave him an impression that these races
were unsophisticated, even though he was told otherwise. They had,
after all, conquered his own homeland hundreds of years ago, uniting
the land in an oppressive monarchy called the Ascendency.

The small band threaded their way carefully though the forests,
speaking to those who knew of their purpose, being guided by their
information.  Their task was a treacherous one, for at any turn
sympathizers to the Ascendency might give them up to the authorities.
Bounty was to be had for such deeds, vile as they were. They pressed
on, cautiously, fearing the worst at every step.

What they sought was straightforward, but not simple to be had. A few
of their kin had disappeared, important members of a secret clan who
were also part of an underground insurgency to overthrow the Emperor
Mobius, the leader of the Ascendency. They had gone out on a journey to
meet with other members of the group and had not returned. To find them
and, if possible, to help them get back was their goal.

Arr'n was their leader, a middling-aged fen with keen eyes. She alone
knew where they were headed, who to talk to. Trryll and the half-dozen
others were along as protectors and facilitators. They knew nearly
nothing of their mission, only to stand in the way of anything that may
try to harm Arr'n and, with their own lives, allow her to escape. If
they were captured, they knew nothing to divulge no matter the torture.
Arr'n, too, was expendable, for if she were captured she would take her
own life to protect others.

For many weeks they made their way east, sleeping in barns and hollows
in the ground, their cloaks pulled around them where they approached
other  people, taking the guise of wandering monks,ever watchful. They
kept their distance, hiding their differences deep in their hoods. Fen
do not wander these parts idly, and their appearance could easily lead
to  suspicion. Suspicion would inevitably lead to capture.

Eventually, the trail they followed led them to the east coast of the
continent. How far they had come! Trryll raised his nose and deeply
inhaled the salt-tanged air. They must be nearing the mission's end.
How much further could they go? They approached the outskirts of a
small port town and set up camp, meager as it was.

It seemed like a simple task. Slip into town, find a certain shop and
obtain a small scroll containing some information and return. Arrn had
asked Trryll to do this because he was one of the smaller of the group
and may attract the least attention.

Head down and hood pulled over, shuffling his step, paws tucked into
sleeves, Trryll made his way along the streets. Some of the inhabitants
mumbled greetings, mistaking him for some religious person. He nodded
his head slightly in acknowledgement. He kept his tail carefully
wrapped about one leg, even though it wanted to twitch with the tension
he felt.

Finally coming into the desired shop, he slipped inside the open door.
Behind the counter was a portly human male, idly flipping through a
small bound volume. He looked up as Trryll entered.

"Ah, good day, friar, how may I help you?"

Trryll replied with a set phrase. "I'm here about the Vethpian orb," he
lisped softly in the common tongue.

The man nodded once quickly, slipped from around the counter and closed
and locked the shop door. Trryll was instantly alert.

"Just so we won't be disturbed," the shopkeeper said, as if sensing
Trryll's alarm. "I have what you seek. But first... are you Fen'neko?"

Trryll winced slightly at the horrible mispronunciation of his race's
name, but nodded.

"Please," the man said, "I've never seen a fen. Would it be too much to
ask?"

Trryll considered this a moment and looked at the single, small window
in the shop. It was shuttered. Reaching up, he pulled back his hood. He
raised his flattened ears. His large, green eyes glittered in the dim
light. The human gave a slight gasp.

"You look just like a cat!" exclaimed the man.

Trryll raised a lip and snarled slightly as he pulled the hood back
over his head. "I come not here be insulted." His eyes glowed at the
shopkeeper from the depths of the hood.

The shopkeeper waved his hands to try and placate Trryll, "Oh, I'm
sorry, sorry! I know how fen hate that comparison. It was a slip. Your
features are quite striking. As I said, I'd never seen a fen before.
Your people rarely leave your homeland. I've heard traveler's tales
only."

The shopkeeper bowed slightly. "Thank you for your indulgence, and
please pardon this foolish man."

Trryll inclined his head as the man slipped back behind the counter. "I
have the scroll right here. I must say, things have been odd around
town lately." The fellow was in a chatty mood, possibly trying to make
up for his egregious error.

"Normally, we only get a couple of trade ships in every zodiac. You
know, the usual stuff, food, drink, some metals and the like. Well,
lately, things have changed."

The shopkeeper leaned forward on the counter and lowered his voice.
"Black ships have been coming into our little port. Quite large ones.
They buy up a large amount of supplies and stand in port for a few
days.  Then, when the night turns moonless, they slip out to sea."

Trryll's curiosity and confusion must have registered even within his
hood, for the shopkeep nodded slightly. "Aye, mysterious, eh? And what
is even more mysterious is the rumor that the final cargo for the ship
is loaded just before it sets sail, under the same moonless dark." The
shopkeeper lowered his voce even further, "They say that cargo is
people!"

"Err?" responded Trryll drawing back, "Sssslavesss?"

The shopkeeper shrugged. "Some say..."

A muffled knock from the back of the back of the shop interrupted the
man's theorizing. "Ah, I'm expecting a small delivery. Please wait just
a moment while I attend to it." The shopkeeper opened a door to a
backroom  and shut it after he passed through.

The young fen was getting restless of this endless chatter, wanting to
fulfill his small duty and return to his friends. But he waited
patiently, his eyes roaming about the room looking at the dreary goods.

The door was suddenly flung open and Trryll jerked his head up. A
strangled cry came from the backroom and the shopkeeper flew backwards
through the door, crashing into the counter and knocking it over. A
sharp tang came to Trryll's nose as a huge figure ducked through the
door and  stood as upright as it could. It still crouched in the shop
to keep from  hitting its head on the ceiling. Now it was Trryll's turn
to gape.

The Ghorak Zo glowered at Trryll. Although stooping, Trryll estimated
the being to be nearly eight feet tall. These were the creatures that
aided  Emperor Mobius in bringing about his homeland's downfall,
brought from some alien land far away. It was the first time he had
seen one. The Zo dominated the confined space. "I'll have a word with
you," it rumbled, as it stepped over the unconscious body of the
shopkeeper.

Trryll slashed with his extended claws at the arm that reached toward
him. The Zo recoiled in pain and shock. "You little vermine!" it
yelled, then bellowed an ear shattering roar and tried to grab the fen.
Trryll dove under the huge arms and sprang through the small window.
Wood and glass splintering as he rolled to his feet outside the shop.
Another Zo waiting in the alley spotted him and bellowed "You there!
Stop!"

His tattered cloak flying behind him, Tryll let out a raging snarl to
clear his way as he ran out of the alley and through the crowds of
townspeople. A woman screamed and dropped her load at the sight of him.
The people stared at he sped by them. From behind him one of the Zo's
yelled "Stop that creature!" but none got in his way.

Pelting down alleyways, Trryll could hear his pursuers hot on his
trail.  Although he twisted and turned, the Ghorak Zo seemed to know
where he was headed. He remembered hearing something abut Zo having a
keen sense of smell, as well. They were tracking him.

The alley he was following opened out onto a dock. Piles of goods were
stacked, ready to be loaded onto a waiting ship. The ship was black.
Trryll cursed silently to himself as he swung up a dock rope and landed
quietly on the deck. A few sailors were milling about but none had
spotted him. An open hatchway beckoned. He soundlessly sped down the
stairs, quickly testing doors as he went. At the end of the short hall
one opened to a well-appointed cabin with a wide sweep of small windows
set into the back wall looking out over the harbor. Quickly casting
about he spotted a small bookcase up on the front wall that was
slightly ajar, revealing a compartment behind it.  He slipped into the
small space and pulled the bookcase nearly closed.

Trryll quieted his breathing and tried to calm his pounding heart as he
sat in the gloom, pushing himself as far back from the opening as
possible. For the small opening, the space was fairly large, about four
times his size, but low ceilinged. Small casks and boxes filled a good
deal of the space. Quietly shifting some of the boxes to shield himself
from a direct view of the opening, he settled down to wait for a while.
He hoped the Zo would lose his trail and allow him to slip back out and
away. He will have failed his mission, but kept his life.

Fairly soon he heard footsteps coming his way. Trryll heard the door to
the cabin open and close, then a distinct sound of a lock being turned.
The occupant distractedly hummed as he busied himself about the
quarters.  Trrylll breathed very shallowly as he glimpsed the form of a
human male pass back and forth in front of the open slit of the
bookcase.

From above, Trryll heard the growling rumble of the Ghorak Zo.
Apparently  they had followed his trace to the ship, or perhaps,
thought it was a likely spot he might have hidden. The young fen's
heart sped up again at  the prospect of meeting up with those giants.
Apparently the human had heard it as well, for the humming suddenly
stopped.

Hard-soled feet hammered down the galleyway and came up short to the
locked door. There was a knock. "Captain!" came a muffled voice, "There
are some bounty hunters up here looking for someone. They want to talk
to you. They seem like they're in a big hurry."

The captian swore under his breath, "Zos! They'll be the death of me,
yet!" Raising his voice the captain replied, "Very well! Tell them I'll
be up momentarily!"

"Aye, captain," came the reply and the feet quickly retreated back up
the galleyway.

Muttering to himself, the captain hastily moved about the cabin,
gathering things up. The opening to the compartment was suddenly thrown
wide open, and Trryll quickly ducked down behind the boxes. Books,
rolled up charts and a couple of small boxes were uncermoniously dumped
into the compartment, then the door shut, enclosing him in near-total
darkness.  Trryll's breath stopped short as he heard the sound of two
locking bolts  being driven home and things piled on the bookcase
outside. He was in the captain's secret compartment, locked away.
Trryll felt sick at his misfortune.

Unlocking the cabin door, the captain's footsteps retreated up the
galleyway. Muffled voices of humans and Zo could be heard. Trryll
silently crept over the boxes and felt the wall where the opening had
been. It was hard wood, the join of the jamb and the door exceedingly
tight. Trryll gingerly extended a claw into the tight space. The bolt
was deeper than he could reach. He pushed gently against the door. It
felt as strong as the wall it was set into. Trryll cursed at himself
quietly as he slunk back into his protected corner.

Voices rose in argument from above, and the rumble of the Zos turned
into bellows. A large crash sounded and the ship shuddered. The sound
of the human voice turned obsequious and the Zos calmed down. Soon,
heavy footsteps came down the galleyway. Doors to cabins were thrown
open and closed soon after. The muffled voice of the captian explained
each of the crew's quarters. The captain came to his own quarters.

"And here," the captain said, opening the cabin door, "are my quarters.
I can assure you gentlemen, er, Zos, that there is nothing out of the
ordinary." The Zos prowled about the cabin briefly.

"Show us the hold," demanded one Zo.

"Certainly," the captain said, "But my crew has been loading cargo into
it all morning long. They would have spotted anyone attempting to enter
it, no matter what kind of stealth you say they have."

"What is your business?'" demanded the other of the Zos.

"That, sirs," the captain replied as he closed the door behind the
retreating party, "Is between me and the Emperor."

Trryll's heart froze as the cabin door clicked softly shut.

---

A STORY
BY LEOGIC CHRYSTALIS
Clan Lord and Puddleby © 2001 Delta Tao

A human named James, like many others, began his life as an exile, not
by choice. Through defending himself and his family from band of
cutthroat thieves, killing one.  James was arrested for murder by the
town's Sheriff, an Agent for the Ascendancy, and local crime boss.

After several weeks at sea, James and others, barely clothed, half-
starved and with no means to defend themselves, where unshackled,
brought on deck of the prison galley, and dumped on the dock of
Puddleby Island.  Somewhat dazed, he and his fellow prisoners where
instructed to report into town, or simply die, preferably the latter.
James and the 10 out of 14 others who survived the long journey trudged
toward town walls, and past the gates where they where suggested to
move as quickly past as possible and to the town square by a large
Ghorak Zo.  James had heard of these folk, but had never seen one, he
quickly followed the burly looking guard's orders.  Once he was deeper
into town, he was shocked to find how well dressed the exiled prisoner
where, and how well fed they looked. He also noticed what a variety of
folk there where to behold.  He had never even seen a Thoom or a Sylvan
or many outside his own species before, having rarely needed to leave
his farm back home.

A Halfling, seeing that his group where new arrivals and half starved
ushered them over to a nearby tavern and offered the group some food.
The Halfling-who introduced himself as Mortimer the Tailor-carried on
how horrible how little food they offered prisoners and commented that
he was STILL making up for his journey on the boat, patting his rotund
belly.  Halfway into the meal they where joined by a rather tall well
armed Thoomish lady, sporting a rather threadbare black belt to which
Mortimer offered to repair, but was politely refused.  She joined them
for a dinner of fresh rock-cod and greens.   She introduced herself as
Lelerin, giving assistance to Mortimer on directing James and his
fellow new exiles to visit town hall where he could be provided with a
weapon and better clothing.

James asked her about the belt,  and why it was so threadbare.  She
explained to him that in her old town, the solder's never washed their
belts, and that over time, it grew black.  She explained in a somewhat
sad and melodramatic manner that 'due to the smell and it being an
unwholesome habit' they insisted that she use one dyed black, though
she let it grow threadbare to show its age and her experience.

When James arrived at the town hall, Leterin introduced him town
officer in charge of local Human relations and bid him good luck.  The
officer gave him a descent change of clothes tan and sackcloth.  The
officer also introduced him to the local weapon-master who issued James
a club, crude yet effective. The weapons-master further instructed
James that the town was constantly under assault by beasts of all
sorts. Clubus further informed James that he would be expected to do
his part to keep the town running though combat or healing or some
other useful skill. His first task was to help maintain the rat towers
to the west, which had always had a little rodent problem, though he
should first visit master Bodius or Brackus to first learn basic
combat.

Bodius, whose main job, when not training Exiles on the finer point of
physical fitness and basic dodging and striking techniques, could
usually be found maintaining the altar room, which of course was where
James found him.  Bodius issued James a few basic pointers about how to
hold a weapon, basic striking disciplines, how often to perform
exercises, and which ones where the most beneficial.  James was then
ushered out the door, as Bodius seemed preoccupied with a small blue
book, though pointing him in the direction of the western guard towers
first.  To James's surprise these 'little rodents', Clubus had earlier
mentioned, turned out to be 2 foot long giant Rats with razor sharp
teeth and beady little black eyes, reeking of unwholesome filth and
decay.

James maintained the tower for several weeks, learning the ins and outs
of fighting rats and how to dodge their attacks. Leaping away and
striking out when the rat was off balance making goes at his throat or
legs.

A few weeks later, James was eating his supper of fresh-fish and tubers
and berries he greeted by an old man by the name of Fistus.

The old man sat down in front of James, who smiled and nodded in
recognition, though curious, as to whom this individual was now sat
before him chattering on in small conversation about the town, the
horrid vermine, and how cheap Mr. Bountypay was.

"You're new in town, though not so new, son" said the old man.  "The
name's Fistus. Used to be a soldier, from before the times of the
emperor.  Was a veteran of the Darshak War.  I run the fighters' guild
round here."

"Why do they call you Fistus?" James replied.

Fistus held up his gnarled hands, to which had looked like they had
been broken many, many times

"Because of these, before the inquisitor had me sent here, he had my
hands shattered, healed, and shattered again, twenty times over, till
they thought they wouldn't work anymore.  Not that it mattered, just
made 'em tougher."  Fistus looked grim, recalling the memory of his
torture, flexing his hands slowly repeatedly.  James could hear the
tendons stretch and bones crackle slightly as the old timer did this.

"I've been watching you lately for the last few weeks, I think you
would make an excellent fighter.  You got what it takes to perhaps even
rival Eveus or myself someday.  Here, take this."  Fistus placed a
heavy, leather-sheathed, ebon handled, knife in James' hand.

"We would appreciate your help as a fighter you will be trained in the
art of war and combat, and as a huntsman to retrieve wild game.  This
is just the beginning, son.  A great opportunity."

"Um, ok, uh what do I do?" James looked at his dagger, and hefting it a
few times testing its weight and balance."

"Go to the fighter's hall, northeast of town when you can.  Show your
blade to the guard and he'll letcha' in."

James agreed to be a "fighter" for the town. His new weapon, an 8 inch
hunting knife, was rather useful, as well as sharp. He found that rats,
as well as myrm where slain with greater ease by its sharp blade.  He
was asked to help clear myrm a week into clearing rats, much to his
chagrin.  He was fearful of the dire ant creatures, wanting to keep his
hands and arms intact, though he quickly learned that most where slow
and stupid.  Usually when he saw a one of the rarer-though swift-guard
myrm, he would flee like a bat out of hell.

Before he had met Fistus occasionally tried to explore, but was turned
back buy a rather stubborn doorman. James displayed his new dagger to
the guard, whom nodded his head and pointed toward the large twin
wooden door of the Fighters' Guild complex. Inside was somewhat
disappointing, several rough looking individuals gave him sideways
glances and carried on their conversations. James approached a rather
plainly dressed fighter in the back who was picking his sharp teeth
with a toothpick.

"Name's Atkus," the man said, "you came to learn?

"Learn? Learn what, sir?" replied James

"I can train you to use that pigsticker you have there, son" Atkus
chortled. "Don't want you hacking off a few of your own fingers in
combat, do you?"

James shook his head, no and continued.

"Sure, what do I... do?" asked James.

Atkus motioned James to follow as he approached the basement door.
Within the basement, Atkus nodded at a few odd looking practice dummies
and wielded his own dagger dagger, adorned and scarred by many years of
combat, though its blade was still honed, and amazingly unnotched.
Atkus told James to stand in front of one.

"First things first, how do you strike at an enemy?" Atkus inquired.

James holding is knife at a downward angle lunged forward at the nearby
dummy, missing it entirely as it leapt out of the way!

"Aargh!" James shouted, his blade implanted in the wall behind the
dummy. Atkus snickered at James' clumsy strike.

"These new ones are getting greener every year" Atkus chuckled
silently.

"Well, kid, you have got a lot to learn, for one thing, you need to be
subtle in your movements when approaching an enemy. Try not to give
away when you are going to strike."

James climbs to his feet and begins to attempt to pry his new blade
from its place in the wall. After a few tries he pulls it free and
focuses on Atkus.

Atkus fold his own dagger up in demonstration of a fighting stance, his
feet placed shoulder width apart and his blade pointing down. He looked
like he was going to punch the dummy, whom was now trying to taunt
Atkus by throwing hay at him and banging on its shield with its wooden
shortsword.

Atkus then glanced at James, winked, and without looking lunged at the
dummy. Before the dummy could react, it found Atkus' dagger planed
firmly between the eyes.

The dummy froze and started mumbling 'oww oww oww' before pulling free,
glaring at Atkus. The dummy, knowing it was no match for the old timer
sat in a corner and began stitching itself up with a needle and thread.

"Its not just about sight, kid, it's about sensing your opponent's
position and listening to his movements. Don't just use your eyes and
brute strength.  You will also find some creatures move a certain way,
and that other creatures are just as smart as we are. The later of
course being the most deadly."  Atkus commented, removed some bits of
hay from his blade's hilt, sheathing it silently in its home on his
belt.

James nodded in agreement and stepped up to another dummy, which was
leaning against a post, looking rather bored. When it saw James, it
perked up and stood in an attack posture.

James, imitating Atkus's fighting stance and glanced at the dummy,
which was now attempting to poke at him with its wooden sword. James
held his blade up and slashed out with its edge at the dummy. The dummy
blocked the strike with its small shield and tried to counterattack
with its sword. James received a smart thump on the side of the head,
but didn't fall to the glancing blow. The strike merely annoyed James
whose determination welled up even further, feeling pleased that he
didn't ENTIRELY miss the dummy.  James stepped back a bit, then edged
forward. When the dummy swung at him, James knocked its wooden sword
aside with his knife and plunged it into its shoulder, causing the
dummy minimal pain. James withdrew his blade, stepping back quickly to
avoid a painful stab in the ribs from the dull wooden sword.  James was
curious as to why the dummy was still standing in front of him grinning
like a lunatic.

"It was a wounding strike, not enough points to make it hurt." Atkus,
as though somehow he could read James's immediate thoughts, "Ok, that's
enough for today, at least you didn't hurt yourself like a lot of
newcomers do.  More than once I've had to drag some slob out of this
place with a concussion or to find that they had cut off their own
fingers." James smiled and thanked Atkus for his help.

"Come back tomorrow, we will discuss your career as a fighter.
Remember, practice what I taught you."

James left the fighters' training area with a new sense of purpose. All
that afternoon he hunted vermine for furs, using the subtle maneuver
Atkus had taught him, as well as improvising the skills his father had
taught him.

By that evening, he had become confident with his lesson, and looked
forward to many more with his new teacher.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, Rising Claw, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"Rule a kingdom as though you were cooking a small fish - don't overdo
it".
  - Lao Tzu

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Bolok Biscuits with it in
the afternoon"

Issue #36: "Kelan and the Sun Dragon Clan"
[March 30, 2001]
Circulation: 149

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Jazz, The Ongoing Adventures
   http://jazz.zeroecho.com
* Mac-arena: The finest macros in town are at CheaCrets Clan Lord!
   http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html
* ClanLords
   http://www.clanlords.com

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rumors of an underground library far to the east
* Most recent orga camp raid did not go well
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Thirty healers needed to raise Kojiro
* Local healer falls in Brambles
* Controversy over whether or not to leave behind Dred Passage fallen
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Court records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_144_04_48 on 54 Spring, 541 at 5:34..."
Clerus says, "MilkChocoAngel accused Tarf of abusing the court
system..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 71 minutes in jail, 306c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_151_14_17 on 61 Spring, 541 at 15:26..."
Clerus says, "CmdrGuard accused Tarf of Negligence as a healer and 2nd
Degree Murder...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 51 minutes in jail, 206c fine and
0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_155_21_03 on 65 Spring, 541 at 22:00..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Sofor of abuse of kindness and ajbect
offensiveness..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 114 minutes in jail, 726c fine
and 0 days banished."
---
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_163_16_08 on 73 Spring, 541 at 17:12..."
Clerus says, "Althea accused Zaroff of intentional spammin with heal
messages..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1121 minutes in jail, 14027c fine
and 0 days banished.

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Algernon, Althus,
Aethelred, Angadol, Achates."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Althus."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Clans are beginning to submit their Clan Profiles. This issue we have
one from the Sun Dragon Clan. Other clans should look to the Sun Dragon
Clan's profile for a model.

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

In other news, Gubara seems to have lost his mind.

Nuba Yo!

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH KELAN THE SYLVAN
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Kelan is a Sylvan, is male, is a Fighter, and is not wearing the symbol
of any clan.
He is holding an axe.
Kelan has 22 good karma.
(Paramedic circles Kelan)
Kelan says, "hello"
(Paramedic circles Kelan)
(Paramedic waves a flipper in greeting.)
(Kelan feels dizzy)
(Kensington smiles.)
Paramedic asks, "How would you like to be interviewed for Fishwrap
Magazine?"
Kelan says, "I think that would be fine"
(Paramedic nods.)
(Kelan smiles)
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions in this interview."
Kelan says, "ok"
Paramedic asks, "1) What are your favorite places to hunt?"
Kelan says, "I like to hunt in 'noids and savannah. I also like to go
on hunts to Snaggy"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "I go to Savannah solo"
Paramedic asks, "Do you usually go to snaggy with a large group?"
Kelan says, "Oh yes. Absolutely"
Kelan says, "I wouldn't go to Snaggy alone"
Kelan says, "But the others, I hunt in groups"
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Do you hunt more for coins or for experience?"
Kelan says, "Besides, it's more fun in a group"
Paramedic says, "Yes, definitely"
Kelan says, "I hunt more for the experience than anything. I don't care
much about money."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "2) What circle of fighter are you?"
Kelan says, "I'm a 3rd circle fighter."
Paramedic says, "Ah, excellent."
Kelan says, "Thankee"
Paramedic asks, "Think you'll make 4th soon?"
Kelan says, "No, I'm not shooting for that yet."
Paramedic says, "It's not easy, I understand"
Kelan says, "I'm trying to broaden my education beyond that of the
fighter disciplines."
Paramedic asks, "What are you focusing your training on these days?"
Kelan says, "I have almost finished the training I want to do with
Loovma Geer."
Paramedic says, "Ah, excellent! I also have studied with Loovma"
(Kelan smiles)
Kelan says, "I'm ready to begin helping exiles in that fashion"
Paramedic says, "I have found he does help to keep my chains from
breaking so often"
Kelan says, "Quite true by my observation"
Paramedic says, "It's made a nice difference. And chains are
expensive....so I appreciate having fewer chain breaks"
Kelan says, "I have found that I also locate more metal because of my
training"
Paramedic asks, "You mean you find it on the ground more often?"
Kelan says, "No, I mean that more of my ore turns out to be metal"
Paramedic exclaims, "Ah!"
Paramedic says, "I find chaining to be a very worthwhile skill."
Paramedic says, "I find it helps me in rescues a lot."
Kelan says, "I think it will be rewarding."
Kelan says, "Not in the monetary sense, but in a more spritual sense, I
suppose."
Paramedic asks, "What do you mean?"
Kelan says, "I don't know if spiritual is the right word"
Kelan says, "I mean that I would feel good about myself if I can do
more than kill the monsters"
Kelan says, "I could take other exiles to safety"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes. It's nice to do more than just fend off the
beasts"
Kelan says, "Yes, exactly"
Paramedic asks, "3) Are you now or have you ever been a member of a
clan?"
Koppi yells, "Paramedic reports: Fishwrap #35 now available: Interview
with Bones the Thoom. Read here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/
fishwrapmagazine"
Kelan says, "I am not now a member of any clan, but I was once. It was
before the Ripture War."
Paramedic asks, "Is that clan still around?"
Kelan says, "No, it has long since passed."
Kelan says, "It was more of an association than a clan, I think"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider joining a clan now?"
Kelan says, "I have considered it."
Paramedic says, "but..."
Kelan says, "But I'm not sure if I would do it yet. I don't feel
comfortable about it."
Paramedic asks, "You like being independent?"
Kelan says, "I am used to being on my own. But the friends I have made
here are changing that."
Kelan says, "I feel like I may be in a place I can call home someday."
Paramedic asks, "Who would you say are some of your friends or allies
here in Puddleby?"
Kelan says, "Magnar is my best friend."
Paramedic says, "Ah, Magnar."
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I also run with Zorri and Bullingbrook"
Paramedic says, "Those are fine exiles."
Kelan says, "And Bulgorius is a good friend of mine"
(Paramedic smiles.)
Paramedic asks, "4) What monsters do you prefer to hunt?"
Kelan says, "I like to hunt 'noids and maha. They are both very
challenging to me."
Paramedic says, "Those are two of my favorites also."
Kelan says, "I like to get 'locks too"
Paramedic says, "Savannah is good for maha hunting."
Kelan says, "Oh yes, it certainly is"
Paramedic asks, "Do you go to Orga Camp much?"
Kelan says, "Only when there is a big hunt on."
Kelan says, "I like to assist the healer rods by clearing the orga near
them"
Paramedic asks, "Have you been on any of the Full Moon Orga Camp
raids?"
Kelan says, "I have participated in a few FMOCR"
Kelan says, "I try to do my part"
Jinx says, "mean out there today"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "I've also gone on a couple of Ethereal Plane raids."
Paramedic says, "oh"
Paramedic asks, "how did those go?"
Kelan says, "That is an interesting puzzle."
Paramedic asks, "The Ethereal plane?"
Kelan says, "I don't know how we'll solve it"
Kelan asks, "Yes, how can we get out of the circle of skulls?"
Kelan says, "Into the rest of the Ethereal Plane"
Paramedic asks, "I have not been there yet. What was it like? Many
monsters?"
Kelan says, "It was a situation where tight discipline was required"
Kelan says, "The monsters were plentiful on the path leading to the
Ethereal Plane, but not very threatening"
Paramedic asks, "Were people co-operating?"
Kelan says, "The first time I went, no. We gave up anfter an hour or
so."
Paramedic says, "Argh, that's too bad"
Paramedic asks, "were later trips more successful?"
Kelan says, "The second time, yes. We made it all the way to the
Ethereal plane quite quickly"
Paramedic asks, "but then you get stuck there?"
Kelan says, "Yes, the group is trapped in a circle of skulls, with no
idea how to get past them."
Kelan says, "The monsters on the Ethereal Plane are very nasty"
Paramedic asks, "I have heard they are very nasty. Are they new beasts,
or just stronger ones we have seen before?"
Kelan says, "There was an Astral Drake, I think."
Kelan says, "Something kept shooting lightning at us."
Paramedic says, "Ouch."
Kelan says, "There was also a Guardian in the circle of Skulls. It was
very tough, but we beat it."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think large exploration parties are necessary
to survive there?"
Kelan says, "As long as they remain disciplined, a large party wouldn't
hurt. But a powerful small party could go all the way, I think."
Paramedic says, "I wonder what else could be out there."
Kelan says, "I would like to find out."
Kelan says, "There were all sorts of interesting looking creatures
outside the Circle of Skulls"
Paramedic asks, "Interesting looking, huh?"
Kelan says, "I don't remember what they were called, but the floating
balls of energy looked like they would be challenging"
Paramedic says, "Those sound dangerous."
Kelan says, "Perhaps it was they who were hurling the lightning"
Paramedic asks, "But you can't quite reach them yet?"
Kelan says, "No, they could not be reached because they were on the
other side of the barrier."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there's some sort of key we need to open
that barrier?"
Kelan says, "There may be. I think it has something to do with the
altar in the center of the Circle of Skulls."
Kelan says, "A small dark orb on a pedestal with lightning shooting
about it"
Paramedic says, "hmm."
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there will be a new expedition there
soon?"
Kelan says, "Yes, I think so"
Paramedic says, "Ah good"
Kelan says, "There seem to be some very dedicated exiles commited to
solving this one"
Paramedic says, "I think there might be great rewards in figuring out
what is going on there"
Kelan says, "You are probably right."
Paramedic asks, "OK last question: 5) What weapons do you use? Do you
use a shield?"
Kelan asks, "Who knows what we could learn by exploring the Ethereal
Plane?"
(Paramedic nods)
Kelan says, "Perhaps there are other entrances elsewhere that would
yield some answers"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there is another way out or in?"
Kelan asks, "I don't know for certain, but why should the only entrance
be through Tenebrion's Keep?"
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of Tenebrion, by the way?"
Kelan says, "I hear many things about him"
Kelan says, "But I don't know what to think. I've never met him
myself."
Paramedic says, "He's quite a puzzle."
Kelan says, "Yes."
Kelan says, "I think we should be wary of him."
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I think it is likely that he has his own agenda, and he
may not have our best interests in mind."
Paramedic says, "Yes, exactly."
Paramedic asks, "How about Umbrion?"
Kelan says, "Of Umbrion I know even less."
Paramedic asks, "Have you been to his island?"
Kelan says, "I have only visited his island once."
Paramedic says, "ah"
Paramedic says, "it's quite dangerous there"
Kelan says, "It's a very dangerous place indeed."
Kelan says, "The lycanthropes are particularly dangerous."
Paramedic says, "I was with a large group and we still had many
difficulties surviving"
Kelan says, "Yes, I was with a large group as well, and I fell many
times."
Kelan says, "I still have no idea how one gets off the island."
Paramedic says, "Yes, leaving the place remains something of a puzzle."
Paramedic asks, "I wonder if that is Umbrion's castle to the south?"
Kelan says, "I suspect it is, but I am also interested in the ship
being built."
Paramedic says, "It's a large ship"
Kelan says, "Yes it is."
Paramedic says, "and there are guards around it"
Kelan says, "I'm curious to find out its purpose"
Paramedic asks, "OK last question: 5) What weapons do you use? Do you
use a shield?"
Kelan says, "I use an axe, mainly. unless I'm with a large group and
everyone needs to tag a creature."
Kelan says, "Then I use my old taintless club."
Paramedic asks, "shield?"
Kelan says, "I don't use a shield"
Kelan says, "I may pick one up, someday."
Kelan says, "I haven't felt a need to, I guess"
Paramedic asks, "why do you prefer the axe?"
Kelan says, "It's light, but powerful"
(Paramedic nods.)
Kelan says, "I also don't have the skills or money to use bigger or
better weapons"
Kelan says, "I would like to find a rapier one day"
Paramedic asks, "Ever wonder about the Bloodblade?"
Kelan says, "I have seen it in action."
Paramedic asks, "think it is worth having?"
Kelan says, "I think the cost is too much"
Kelan says, "Not in coins"
Paramedic says, "but in health? it does seem to hurt those who wield
it"
Kelan says, "Yes, being constantly wounded like that looks too
dangerous to me."
Kelan says, "I don't fight when I'm red, usually"
Paramedic says, "Good strategy"
Kelan says, "Thankee"
Kelan says, "I like to stay up and useful"
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview, Kelan. Lots of good
stuff on the Ethereal plane"
You gave good karma to Kelan, thoom!
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
You just received good karma!
(Paramedic makes some notes)
Kelan says, "Be well. I think I'll go to savannah and hunt."
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)

#####
CLAN PROFILE: SUN DRAGON CLAN
BY SPEEDIER

Sun Dragon Clan

Origins:
The Sun Dragon Clan was founded by Braveheart in the summer 529 YA. The
original name was "Hunter Clan" and was the first clan in existence on
Puddleby Island. Adua, Bran, Gilean, and Sten are some of the first
members of the clan.

As most of you know, clans are outlawed by Mobius. Indeed, it was quite
some time before the locals would recognize any group as a clan.  But
when the townspeople finally decided to authorize clans, we were the
first to register. The clan was registered by Braveheart and Adua, with
the help of Polerand and Stormraven in the winter of 531.

Our first charter was dedicated to helping new exiles become acclimated
to their new home.  Indeed that has always been an important part of
the clan as we expanded the scope of our activities

Clan principles:
These are our clan objectives:
- To be diplomats to the Lok'Groton chain and the world at large,
especially to new arrivals.
- To protect Puddleby and its inhabitants.
- To contain the Orga, Darshak, and Undine threats.
- To seek physical, spiritual, and mental knowledge of the world.

The basic principle of the Sun Dragon Clan is to defend and improve
Puddleby, the exiles and peasants living here. We do this through
active defense of perceived threats as well as cultural and social
pursuits.

The following are clan virtues that each member should embrace:
Helpfulness, Courtesy, Unselfishness, Honor, Liberality, and Bravery.

We are a democratic clan ruled by a council of five members. We hold
elections for each post on a yearly basis, and any active member can
run for any office.  Each council seat has certain duties.

The High Disciple represents the voice of the clan to the council. The
High Benevolence represents the clan to other clans and the general
populace of Puddleby, The High Explorer co-ordinates the clans
information gathering efforts. The High Protector organizes the clans
defense of the lands and the clan itself. And finally the High
Councilor oversees the council and is the voice of the clan in official
decisions among the populace of Puddleby.

Events:
We hold many events in Puddleby and the surrounding areas. Every OOC
Saturday 10:00am PST we hold an open hunt. We welcome all exiles to
join us at this time.

The hunt gathers at the Sun Dragon Hut (South Puddleby next to the
Museum, the hut with the Sun banner over the door) At that time we
decide by suggestion or vote where we will explore that day.

We are members of the Dun'islar clan completions. We sponsor artistic,
cultural and athletic events open to all citizens and exiles.

Members:
Our clan roster currently has 30 active members and 15 inactive members
still wearing a SDC badge. We are proud to claim many of the most
famous and heroic exiles in the lands have at one time or another worn
a SDC badge.

Future plans:
We are always looking for new things to explore and places to discover.
Currently we are trying to regain access to the Portal Mirror in the
forests south of town.

Location of clan scrolls:
http://www.sundragonclan.com

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Pogue Mahone, Rising Claw, ThoomCare
Five Questions with Alchemist

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

I've been down so long
Being down don't bother me
I'm gonna take all my troubles
Drown 'em in the deep blue sea
  - J B Lenoir/A Atkins

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE
"Read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Feral Fillets with it in
the afternoon"

Issue #35: "Bones and Katpus"
[March 29, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Sareth's Hunting Services: pathfinding and skinning skills, available
for your next hunt
   Price: 1 share.
* Ire's Curse Service: 10 coins, 20 coins with a reason.  Why dirty
your own hands?
   (Also for a limited time, Curse Prevention for 30 coins)
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Marfisa the Fen is still missing
* Umbion's Island discovered
* Statue of Haze in the museum
* East Tower is open
* Catapult plans found in Foothills

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Cradlesong trapped in Tenebrion's Tower
* Gurgi, Papa, and Remle on the Ethereal Sword
* Kira and Brae married in the courtyard of Tenebrion´s Keep
* Long battle east of the poppyfield on Tenebrion´s Island
* A trip to Umbrion Island
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Dark Temple rescue
* Deadly bubbles roaming Tenebrion's Island
* Zorton gets a stone in Orga Camp
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Hunter's brave dash into the Dred Passage
* Community of exiles conquers Dred Passage, explores Foothills
* Safe cave with catapult plans discovered
* Deadly Ash Giants, Ironwood Giants encountered
* Katpus found in safe cave
* Map of Foothills by Entil'Zha
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Baffette, Althea, Astrid,
Charlos, Crow."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Crunch, Mac-arena,
Algernon, Althea, Crow."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

I'd like to start a new feature in Fishwrap: Clan Profiles

A member from each clan can submit an article on his or her clan,
describing it in some detail.  I'd like to see special focus on:

Origin/foundation story
Clan principles
Events
Members
Future plans
Location of clan scrolls (if available)

These profiles will run in Fishwrap free of charge to exiles as a
public service paid for by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Thanks to Zhirem for the idea

  -Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH BONES THE THOOM
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic says, "Greetings all. This issue I'll be interviewing Bones
the Thoom."
(Bones Thooms.)
Paramedic says, "It's pleasure to have you here, Bones."
Bones says, "it is a pleasure to be interviewed"
Bones says, "by the best Thoom newspaper in town"
Sareth ponders, "is there any other?"
Paramedic asks, "1) What's your assessment of Thoom affairs in Puddleby
today?"
Bones says, "we Thooms continue to stick together"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "the Thoom choir will be starting up again"
Paramedic says, "Ah that's good news"
Bones says, "our next gig is at Althea's wedding"
Paramedic says, "I remember when the Thoom choir used to perform at the
mirror circle"
Bones says, "yes, concerts at the mirror"
(Bones nods.)
Zippy asks, "They didn't set a date yet did they Bones?"
Bones says, "no, no date yet"
Zippy says, "Ah"
Zippy ponders, "what a shame.."
Bones says, "and I hope to open a restaurant serving Thoom cuisine.
maybe that will attract more Thooms to our island"
Paramedic asks, "Seafood?"
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Bones says, "I hired Domino as a waiter"
Paramedic exclaims, "Ah!"
Domino ponders, "Waiter ! What a disgrace !"
Bones says, "but I think he got another job"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "That true Domino?"
Domino says, "mmm... well...."
Panos ponders, "wonder if the waiters will wear aprons?"
Domino says, "yes I have another job that requires my attention"
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Domino says, "But I will probably work in the restaurant to help Bones"
Paramedic says, ""otherwise employed""
Paramedic asks, "What are some other key issues for Thooms these days,
Bones?"
Bones says, "well, some exiles do not like our formations"
Paramedic exclaims, "!!"
Paramedic says, "what an outrage"
Bones says, "they get angry when we practice our rituals in town."
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic exclaims, "no respect for tradition!"
Sareth ponders, "that formation at Kira's wedding was interesting..."
Bones says, "I hope that all reading this understand that we need to
practice our culture"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "also there has been a crackdown on Thooming in the
library"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Paramedic asks, "too noisy?"
(Bones nods.)
Bones says, "I guess I understand"
Bones says, "we will have to go outside first"
Paramedic asks, "2) You are a longtime member of Clan Rising Claw. How
are things with you and the clan?"
Bones says, "I am one of the founders"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Bones says, "and a Councillor"
(Polerand waves.)
Bones says, "I do not attend the clan hunts anymore as I am too old for
that"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Bones says, "but I do like to hang out with them"
Paramedic asks, "Do you find the clan to be Thoom-friendly?"
Bones says, "yes"
Bones says, "as you know Biff joined not so long ago"
Paramedic says, "A fine Thoom, Biff"
Bones says, "and Rifkin is a long time member"
Paramedic says, "Rifkin, also a fine Thoom"
Bones says, "Heccacia was once a Thoom, but there was that horrible
accident"
(Paramedic shudders.)
(Bones nods.)
Bones says, "she grew a tail and fur"
Paramedic says, "Yes, quite unusual"
Paramedic asks, "So what do you see in the future for Rising Claw?"
Bones says, "well, we continue to induct clan mates"
Bones says, "we are an expanding family"
Paramedic says, "Good to hear."
Bones says, "Sylvan Drax joined last zodiac"
Sareth says, "done Hunter"
Bones says, "Sareth over there is an applicant"
(Sareth nods)
(Paramedic waves at Sareth)
(Sareth waves back)
Paramedic says, "He's also a Fishwrap advertiser"
Sareth says, "mention this article for a discount"
Bones says, "I believe we will retake the dunilsar in the future"
Paramedic says, "That would be good."
Paramedic asks, "3) What are your thoughts about the question of the
day: should exiles withhold information from other exiles?"
Bones says, "exiles are not required to tell anyone anything, I don't
think"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "but the matter is a touchy one"
Paramedic says, "It has caused strife in some clans."
Bones says, "i am in the middle, i think"
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
Bones says, "I do not agree with some of the actions of PMF, but they
are free to do what they want."
(Paramedic nods.)
Bones says, "I see merit to both sides."
Bones says, "they want to have fun their own way, nothing so bad about
that"
(Paramedic nods.)
(Bones Thooms.)
Paramedic says, "Personally, I think people should spend less time
focusing on PM and more on their own hunts"
Bones says, "yes, I am tired of the issue, really"
(Paramedic nods)
Zippy says, "I would have to agree :)"
(Bones shows Paramedic his new skill)
Paramedic asks, "what's that?"
Bones says, "I am learning from the good Thoom Proximus"
Paramedic says, "Ahhh...."
Bones says, "I believe he is a subscriber to the Fishwrap"
Paramedic says, "that leads to the next question"
Paramedic asks, "4) How do you see the state of healing these days?"
Bones says, "healing continues to advance, on the high end"
Bones says, "and there are plans for another circle, I hear"
Sareth ponders, "5th? woah"
Bones says, "Proximus is all but required for the hardest areas, now"
Paramedic asks, "You are a frequent cad user?"
Bones says, "well, I am still learning"
Bones says, "i am one of his better pupils, though"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Do healers get the respect they deserve?"
Bones says, "yes, from most people"
Sareth ponders, "you can never give dok'dan too much respect..."
(Paramedic listens)
Bones says, "I do not agree with those exiles who server Master Troilus
above all"
Bones says, "and choose to ignore us"
Sareth whispers, "Bones is being interviewed for Fishwrap"
(Thadius smiles)
Domino says, "Yes it's true"
Domino asks, "May I add something?"
Bones says in Thoom, "have to take 30 sec break"
Sareth ponders, "Odd Thoom... Sleeping in the middle of his own
interview..."
Domino says, "I would like to say to the readers of Fishwrap"
(Paramedic listens)
Domino says, "that despite my extensive training with Master Troilus"
Domino says, "Lord Bones was of a great help to me."
Domino says, "The eradiction of Drakes from the lands is a difficult
task"
(Paramedic nods)
Bones says, "Domino is an expert in the field as many readers may know"
Domino says, "and the burden which lies on my shoulders regarding this
matter has been fully shared by Lord Bones"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of the emerging cooperation between
healers and mystics?"
Domino says, "Well, I would prefer not to answer this question as I am
not a mystic nor a healer"
Paramedic asks, "Bones?"
Bones asks, "yes?"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of the emerging cooperation between
healers and mystics?"
Bones says, "ah"
Bones says, "the more mystics, the better"
Paramedic says, "I agree."
Bones says, "in particular the skristal is of great aid to us healers"
Paramedic says, "Yes, very much so"
Paramedic asks, "Domino, do you intend to become a mystic, perhaps?"
Domino says, "And we need also more exiles specialized in the
slaughtering of Drakes."
Domino says, "I would like to rest sometimes..."
Paramedic asks, "Domino, do you intend to become a mystic, perhaps?"
Domino says, "Well, perhaps... if fate leads me to this path."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Paramedic asks, "5) Bones, do you have any thoughts on opening the
south forest mirror?"
Bones says, "yes, I believe it is very important"
Bones says, "i think qual has something to do with this"
Paramedic says, "I think it will provide a necessary transportation
corridor for exiles"
Bones says, "perhaps if we can defeat him, we can open the mirror"
Bones says, "the desert has a nice oasis"
Paramedic says, "Yes, and Cold and Snowy is through that mirror too"
Bones says, "I swam in the oasis after the war. it was very enjoyable."
Paramedic says, "Well, we've come to the end of our interview. You are
now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question"
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question"
Bones asks, "does Paramedic plan to find a nice lady Thoom and settle
down someday?"
Paramedic says, "Perhaps someday. But for now I am committed to my
career."
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic says, "Besides, my income is not sufficient to support a
family yet"
Bones says, "perhaps you can do an investigative report on the lack of
lady Thooms"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "There is definitely a shortage."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview. Bones"

#####
SPECIAL REPORT
CATAPULT BUILDER LOCATED
BY KORIC THE HEALER

The following is an edited transcript of a conversation between several
exiles and the catapult builder, Katpus, who is now making a home in
the safe cave outside of the northeastern foothills.  This conversation
occured 56 Spring 541 (25 Mar 2001). The complete movie can be found at

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/katpus.sit

More details about the foothills expedition are in my journal,
including sketches and links, at:

http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

I have set apart with a line break and *** the comments made by Katpus
and organized his responses in a more logical manner for easier
understanding. Apologies to exiles whose comments were edited out.  I
tried to boil this down to the essentials, leaving out nothing said by
Katpus while omitting several repeated questions and comments by
exiles.  I also tried to preserve the gist of exile reaction to some of
Katpus' more interesting news.

Trystran D'Ark was speaking with Katpus for a few moments prior to my
arrival on the scene to record everything said, but it didn't appear
that we missed anything major other than some introductions.

-- Begin Edited Transcript --

The table is covered with rough catapult diagrams and broken pieces of
machinery.

*** Katpus says, "those are just my sketches"

Babajaga exclaims, "Katpus!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Hi Katpus"

*** Katpus says, "I have not been able to find the actual plans"
*** Katpus says, "Which is what I've been seeking"

Michael asks, "any idea where they might be?"

*** Katpus says, "they are beyond the passes to the east"

Koric asks, "Ah, this is your home, Katpus?"
Koric says, "Must be very lonely up here."

*** Katpus says, "you have no idea Koric"

Entil'Zha says, "Well, we've been looking."
(Trystran D'Ark nods)
Kryll says, "We've been searching those passes.."
Entil'Zha says, "Not for that specifically, but we haven't seen that
either."

*** Katpus says, "The passes seem to be unstable"

Entil'Zha ponders, "what an understatement"
Michael asks, "have you found a way past them yet?"

*** Katpus says, "I made it through once"
*** Katpus says, "but I have not made it agin"

Trystran D'Ark asks, "Katpus, do you have any tools that we can use to
dig through?"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "Katpus have yu heard of any tools for digging
around here?"
Gurgi says, "we need better digging tools"
(Reye nods)
Gurgi asks, "got ane pick axes?"
Michael says, "its very hard work"
Kaitlyn says, "exceedingly time consuming"

*** Katpus says, "I gave most of them to the last group that came
through"

Trystran D'Ark asks, "Most?"
Reye says, "heh"
Entil'Zha says, "Hrm."
Gurgi asks, "most but not all?"
Entil'Zha says, "I s'pose there aren't any left.."

*** Katpus says, "I have only a couple more"
*** Katpus says, "there's one"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!"
Gurgi says, "aha"
Ziff Rengar found a shovel!
Trystran D'Ark says, "a couple will do"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "woo!"
Babajaga says, "Couple more would do the trick"
Koric exclaims, "You are most kind, Katpus!"
Gurgi asks, "any more?"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Thnaks so much :D"
Trystran D'Ark says, "thank you Katpus"
Gurgi exclaims, "thanks!"
Ziff Rengar asks, "katpus, how much money do you want?"
Entil'Zha exclaims, "Thank you!"
Sean says, "we could really use a couple more.."
Koric asks, "Is there something we can do for you in return?"

*** Katpus says, "I don't need any money.."
*** Katpus says, "you can help find my plans"

(Koric nods.)
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "aahh"
Reye exclaims, "sure!"
Kaitlyn says, "Searching, we are good at that"

*** Katpus says, "I've been trying to reproduce them from scratch"
*** Katpus says, "But so far no luck"

Ziff Rengar asks, "do you need materials?"

*** Katpus says, "I keep searching for another way farther east"
*** Katpus says, "once I get the plans"
*** Katpus says, "then I'll be ready to collect materials"
*** Katpus says, "The passes are full of falling rock"
*** Katpus says, "It's hard to make maps since it keeps shifting"

Gurgi asks, "Are you out of shovels?"

*** (Katpus checks his pack)
*** Katpus says, "I think I have one more"

Babajaga says, "Ah good."
Gurgi exclaims, "oh!"
Ziff Rengar asks, "or can you give us the plans to make a shovel?"
Sean asks, "Where did you get them, did you make them yourself?"
Hunter asks, "Do you know of someone who makes them, or can you?"
Gurgi says, "one more would help alot"
Ziff Rengar says, "the more we have, the better it would be"

*** Katpus says, "I think it takes a bit or metal, some wood plus
someone
***               skilled enough to make them"

Hunter asks, "Do you know of someone skilled enough, or are you?"
Sean asks, "Can you train people to make them?"

*** Katpus says, "no, not me"

Gurgi asks, "Is there someone around here that can?"

*** Katpus says, "This area used to mined"
*** Katpus says, "There was a library out here."

Reye exclaims, "ooooh!"
Hunter asks, "Do you know where out here?"
Gurgi exclaims, "oh!"

*** Katpus says, "Trillbane lived there"

Trystran D'Ark exclaims, "a library?!"
Hunter exclaims, "Ahh!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!!"
Gurgi says, "aha"
Sean ponders, "oh my"

*** Katpus says, "Yes, it's beyond the passes"

(Koric nods.)
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!!!!!!"
Gurgi says, "ah"

*** Katpus says, "Underground"

Entil'Zha says, "Underground, you say? Hm, I hadn't expected that."
Entil'Zha asks, "Is it far from here?"

*** Katpus says, "At one time, I suspect it was not underground"
*** Katpus says, "But with the way the passes have shifted"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "You did make it to the east once didn't you?"

*** Katpus says, "yes"
*** Katpus says, "I did make it east once"

Ziff Rengar asks, "how did you make it alone?"
Michael asks, "is the path to the east still open?"

*** Katpus says, "No"
*** Katpus says, "I hid well"
*** Katpus says, "The directions there would not help you, it is a mass
of
***               fallen rock now"
*** Katpus says, "But I feel sure another way can be found"
*** Katpus says, "There was a large quake, you must find another way"

Lucero says, "seems our mission is to head as far east as possible"
(Entil'Zha): Entil'Zha nods enthusiastically!
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "Aye in order to help you get your plans again,
we'll need shovels."
Trystran D'Ark says, "OK"

*** Katpus says, "As I said, I have one more shovel for you"

Gurgi says, "thank you katpus"
Koric says, "Yes, thank you for your generosity with the shovels."
Michael asks, "Is there anything guarding [the plans]?"

*** Katpus asks, "Is there anything guarding [the plans]?"
*** (Katpus laughs)
*** Katpus says, "Yes."

Trystran D'Ark asks, "what is guarding them?"
Michael asks, "orga?"

*** Katpus says, "The orga are strong there"
*** Katpus says, "And beware the Arachnoids"
*** Katpus says, "They are clever and strong"

Ziff Rengar says, "i thought we were out of orga territory"
Gurgi says, "dad blast the orga"

*** Katpus says, "The orga do not inhabit the passes"

Hunter says, "Ah"
Babajaga says, "Thank you for letting us use your cave by the way."
Gurgi says, "yes, this is a nice cave"
Entil'Zha says, "Aye, thank you very much."

*** Katpus says, "but beyond the passes... they are many orga"
*** Katpus says, "this cave seems safe"
*** Katpus says, "that is why I rest here"

Gurgi asks, "do you think you would mind if we brought some books
here?"
Gurgi says, "Perhaps we could make a library here"
Ziff Rengar asks, "is it your home or just a resting place?"

*** Katpus says, "This is just a relatively safe place from which to
***               explore"
*** Katpus says, "The way west leads to to the snaggy forest"
*** Katpus says, "near the orga village"
*** Katpus says, "it's so twisted and I have not travelled much there"
*** Katpus says, "Some might call the orga stronghold to the east a
city...
***               I don't know"

Gurgi exclaims, "!"
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "!"
Trystran D'Ark ponders, "oh gah!"
Reye says, "woah"
Kryll says, "wow"
Michael says, "oh my god"
(Babajaga nods)
(Lucero grins.)
Gurgi asks, "orga stronghold?"
Hunter says, "erm."
Gurgi asks, "past the passes?"

*** Katpus says, "There are many orga there"
*** Katpus says, "I could not go there myself, there were to many"

Fyn d'Evon Rhay asks, "There is a place in the passes with a well, have
you been there?"
Hunter says, "Aye, an area with Ironwood Giants and such."

*** Katpus says, "I have been to such a place"

Koric asks, "Is there a way out of there that you know of?"

*** Katpus says, "Not that I know of, but it's dangerous there. I did
not
***               linger"

Ziff Rengar asks, "do we need magic to reach trillbane's library?"

*** Katpus says, "Since I don't know how to get there, I cannot be
sure"

(Koric nods.)
Gurgi says, "ah"
Babajaga says, "You just followed your beloved catapult didn´t you.
Long way to travel that is.."

*** Katpus says, "yes"
*** Katpus says, "I want it back"
*** Katpus says, "Or at least my plans"

Koric exclaims, "I hope we can help you recover it!"
Koric says, "We will certainly do our best."
Babajaga says, "We suspected they had taken it this way"
Michael says, "yes we will"

*** Katpus says, "I would be grateful for your assistance :-)"

(Gurgi glances at Katpus's pack)
Hunter exclaims, "We'd be grateful for any tools that could be
provided!"
Koric says, "You are kind to grant us shovels and advice to help us.
Thanks."
Ziff Rengar says, "as gurgi said, the more tools we get, the faster we
can advance"
(Gurgi notices a shovel handle)

*** (Katpus looks through his pack)

Koric says, "Take the shovel, Gurgi."
Gurgi found a shovel!
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "yay"
Hunter exclaims, "Ahh!"
Gurgi says, "woohoo"
Saturnus says, "Thanks Katpus."
Fyn d'Evon Rhay exclaims, "Thanks so much Katpus!!!"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "thank you katpus!"
Babajaga exclaims, "Thank you!"
(Reye smiles)
Michael exclaims, "thank yo!"
Trystran D'Ark says, "thank you Katpus"
Michael exclaims, "thank you!"

*** Katpus says, "You are welcome"

Saturnus asks, "Anything we can do to return the favor?"
Michael asks, "will we see you again?"

*** Katpus says, "Perhaps"
*** Katpus says, "Sometimes you'll find me here"

Michael exclaims, "good!"
(Trystran D'Ark smiles)
(Koric nods.)
Gurgi says, "ah we will be happy to see you when we are here"

*** Katpus says, "If you find the plans, please try to find me"

Gurgi exclaims, "we will!"
(Lucero grins.)
Saturnus says, "We will Katpus."
Koric says, "We will try to return to keep you company every so often."
Fyn d'Evon Rhay says, "aye katpus"

*** Katpus says, "I wander"

Reye asks, "Do you know if having loovma will help effectively use the
shovels?"
Michael asks, "do you know if loovma helps with shovels?"

*** Katpus says, "And now, it's getting to evening and I'm tired"
*** Katpus says, "oh"
*** Katpus says, "I don't know Loovma well"
*** Katpus says, "these shovels are pretty tough"
*** Katpus says, "But, you never know :-)"

Ziff Rengar says, "looks like quality we got there"
(Gurgi grins)
(Reye nods)
(Babajaga hums softly.)
Michael says, "thanks for all your help"
The table is covered with rough catapult diagrams and broken pieces of
machinery.
Kryll says, "Thanks for your help Katpus, I hope we can repay you with
the plans :)"
Reye says, "Thanks for your help Katpus =)"

*** Katpus says, "And thank you"
*** Katpus says, "Good luck"

Gurgi exclaims, "thanks!"
Koric says, "We will find a way east, and we will keep you informed."
(Fyn d'Evon Rhay waves.)
Entil'Zha says, "Be well."
Kaitlyn says, "Thank you and good bye Katpus"
Gurgi exclaims, "good night!"
(Koric waves.)

*** (Katpus lies down)

-- End of Edited Transcript --

At this point, Katpus fell asleep and vanished, ending the
conversation.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Behind the Mystic II: After the Beatings
Clan Profiles: Rising Claw, ThoomCare

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like
an idiot.
  -Steven Wright

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Meshra
Mush with it in the afternoon"
Issue #34: "Secrets, Scandals, and Sleipnir"
[March 13, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
   http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* The "Manx for Puddlebean Ornithological Society Council" committee:
   http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/mrdrplot.html
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Merlisk the Thoom becomes a fourth-circle healer
* Rising Claw wins Dun'ilsar, Lords of the Wamphyrii defeated
* Massive Orga invasions of East Fields and Tanglewood
* Fishwrap Magazine hires Mac the Mystic

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* The Ethereal Box
* A long chat with Tenebrion's minion, Emmei
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Adventures in the Savannah
* Gurgi and the Ethereal Sword
* Forest Chamelopods discovered far to the northeast
* Fiery bubbles in Tenebrion's Keep
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Exiles fall to lightning in Tanglewood as Orgas go on the offensive
* Vulture chews on Thoom Kaspar
* Orga combat scenes
* Pictures of Dun'ilsar with Rising Claw and Lords of the Wamphyrii
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Recent ballot results:
#177: Should we be able to give the death penalty in court?
9 (18%): Yes
23 (45%): No
13 (25%): Yes, stoning
1 (2%): yes, hanging!
2 (4%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#178: Should Manx really have a POS council seat?  (Paid for by the
Slyph-for-council Campaign)
6 (12%): No, are you nuts?  she's so old.
3 (6%): Yes, I love her issues:  nit brushes and fresh litter for
everyone.
2 (4%): Yes, because picking Manx is like Picking Slyph- manx will just
die soon anyways.
18 (37%): Slyph and Manx should share the council seat; more fighting
that way.  Fighting in jello.
11 (22%): None of the above
9 (18%): Abstain
#179: Healers: what are you training right at this moment? (Others
please abstain)
2 (4%): Respia
1 (2%): Sespus
6 (13%): Faustus!
10 (21%): Other healer trainer
6 (13%): None of the above
22 (47%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Afrit, Flux, Athala,
Axia, Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Athala, Althea, Beep,
Bigfat."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_060_22_11 on 60 Winter, 541 at 23:10..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Algernon of corrupt politition..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 1283 minutes in jail, 11030c
fine and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_070_04_45 on 70 Winter, 541 at 5:47..."
Clerus says, "Sleipnir accused Sephorus of falling and not
departing..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 48 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_079_03_58 on 79 Winter, 541 at 4:53..."
Clerus says, "Domino accused Nargoth of assaulting me in town severall
times..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 56 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_081_08_08 on 81 Winter, 541 at 8:55..."
Clerus says, "Kalian accused Sareth of of putting out the fires to
destroy the gods house..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 161 minutes in jail, 63c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_085_15_08 on 85 Winter, 541 at 16:01..."
Clerus says, "Michael accused Pe Ell of Setting up a "toll bridge" in
NE feild..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH YE OLDE KNIGHT, SLEIPNIR
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic says, "Ah there is Sleipnir now"
Arocet says, "joining PM is like finding a path"
Sleipnir asks, "It be so?"
Arocet says, "absolutely"
Sleipnir asks, "Will not letters of recommendation work?"
Arocet says, "never said it was easy"
Paramedic asks, "Sleipnir, are you disenchanted with the Red Quill?"
Sleipnir says, "Nay, Paramedic, but I must become a strong and fierce
fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I have excellent testimonials!"
Sleipnir is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose)
Sleipnir says, "Thus, I must join Pogue Mahone."
Arocet asks, "did you look at our scrolls?"
Sleipnir says, "Oh, aye, Arocet, I did."
Sleipnir exclaims, "They be wonderful scrolls!"
Arocet says, "there it tells you everything you need to know to join"
Sleipnir says, "Very learned."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic asks, "Perhaps you'd like to answer a few questions for
Fishwrap on why you'd like to change clans?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course, Paramedic, I would be honoured."
Paramedic asks, "1) Can you tell our readers why you are interested in
joining Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Aye, I can for certes. There be one main reason....."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I must become a strong and fierce fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must become a mighty WARRIOR!!!"
Sleipnir says, "This be of the utmost urgency."
Paramedic asks, "You feel you need to become stronger than you are?"
Sleipnir says, "Much, much stronger, Paramedic, aye."
Paramedic asks, "Why is this?"
Sleipnir says, "Presently, I can kill only rats."
Sleipnir says, "And the Lady Babajaga doth not respect such weakness."
Sleipnir says, "To gain her respect, and maybe even her love, I must
become a strong and mighty fighter."
Sleipnir says, "Clearly, singing songs will not work."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Sleipnir says, "So I have decided to join Pogue Mahone, that wonderful
clan."
Sleipnir says, "It be a wonderful feeling, sitting here...."
Sleipnir says, "Proud..... strong....."
Sleipnir says, "... surrounded by other proud strong clan mates."
Paramedic asks, "2) How would you see your role within Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "I would be the mighty warrior that kills the small
things."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Sleipnir says, "Rats. Vermine. That sort of thing."
Arocet ponders, "we already have Devil for that"
(Solas thinks about sneaking algy to the clan hut again)
Sleipnir says, "It's a nasty job, but someone has to do it."
Sleipnir says, "Every clan needs one."
Paramedic asks, "Will that make you a mighty warrior?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course. As long I be in the Pogue Mahone, aye."
Sleipnir says, "They be all mighty warriors."
Sleipnir exclaims, "And I shall be one too!!!!"
Sleipnir yells, "Huzzah!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
(Sleipnir is getting excited)
(Sleipnir remembers to look superior)
Sleipnir ponders, "I must appear strong"
Paramedic says, "3) Our readers would like to know about your lawsuit."
Sleipnir says, "Ah! The lawsuit. Well..."
Sleipnir says, ".... I know that to join the PM, I must show myself
worthy."
Sleipnir says, "They do not accept just any old Knight."
Sleipnir says, "So... I must do as PM doth."
Sleipnir says, "I must be strong...."
Sleipnir says, "I have cursed at least two people. Just today."
Arocet says, "sleip.. you obviously haven't looked at the scrolls
enuff. it doesn't say anything about being worthy"
Sleipnir says, "I cursed Gurgi. And I can prove it."
Sleipnir says, "I kept documentary evidence."
Sleipnir says, "So... as part of my plan...."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I decided to sue a fallen person for not departing."
Odesseus ponders, "wahh?"
Sleipnir says, "I thought that would be bound to impress the important
PM people."
Paramedic asks, "Why is that?"
Sleipnir says, "I believe Althea hath already been much impressed."
Sleipnir says, "Well......"
(Paramedic looks at Althea.)
(Sleipnir thinks)
Sleipnir says, "I thought that... er... well...."
Sleipnir says, "I must try to behave correctly."
Sleipnir says, "I must show strength."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must have no mercy!"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Where they lead, I must follow!"
Sleipnir says, "And I will."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Sleipnir says, "Sephorus was very kind to oblige me."
Sleipnir says, "And the people whom I have cursed have all been most
understanding."
Sleipnir says, "Very helpful"
Paramedic asks, "4) Can you tell us about your role models in Pogue
Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Ah. Role models."
Sleipnir says, "Well, Azure obviously."
Sleipnir says, "I did so admire his lawsuit."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir says, "Very clever I thought."
Sleipnir says, "Very strong."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Sleipnir says, "And .... er....."
(Sleipnir blushes)
Sleipnir whispers, "I rather fancy Althea"
(Sleipnir goes a little pink)
(Paramedic turns a funny color himself.)
(Paramedic had a bad fish sandwich earlier.)
Sleipnir says, "And... er...."
Sleipnir says, "Well... Arocet be very very strong also."
Sleipnir says, "He would be an excellent role model"
Paramedic says, "Oh I see."
Sleipnir ponders, "Except for the purple thing happening"
(Sleipnir smiles all around)
Paramedic asks, "5) If you were accepted in Pogue Mahone, would you be
planning to make trips to the Dred Passage with them?"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Well, of course!"
Sleipnir says, "Ye all know that I also found a Dread Passage."
Paramedic exclaims, "So I hear!"
Sleipnir says, "And I would hope they would aid me in that one also."
Sleipnir says, "It be a very frightening place."
Sleipnir says, "It be in Sleipnir's Field."
Sleipnir says, "I have fallen there many times."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I believe that together, PM and I shall advance
boldly into the future!"
Paramedic says, "Well, in keeping with a long Fishwrap tradition, you
are now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question."
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question."
Sleipnir asks, "Only one?"
Paramedic says, "yes, indeed, ONE"
Paramedic says, "Yes that was your question."
Paramedic says, "Thank you."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for taking the time for the interview."
Sleipnir says, "Mine honour, sir."
(Sleipnir smiles at Althea)
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee also, Paramedic?"
Sleipnir ponders, "I suppose not"
Arocet ponders, "damn.. sleip just missed one of the key requirements
for joining.. he must study those scrolls"
Arocet ponders, "they hold all the answers"
Sleipnir ponders, "Study scrolls, study scrolls...."
Odesseus exclaims, "curse Para, I bite!"
(Bones was bit by Odesseus once)
Sleipnir asks, "Bones, may I curse thee?"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Paramedic says, "Sorry, was taking notes."
(Bones points at someone else)
Paramedic asks, "Someone bite or curse me?"
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee, good Paramedic?"
Odesseus says, "er, neither"
Paramedic says, "Well, try thanking me, bub."
Odesseus says, "I threatened biting"
Paramedic says, "Works better"
Sleipnir says, "In aid of mine application, of course."
Paramedic says, "Oh that"
Sleipnir says, "Oh."
(Althea nods)
(Odesseus bares his fangs)
Paramedic says, "No, just maintain a firm neutrality toward me"
Paramedic says, "Thooms like that"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Sleipnir says, "Very well. I understand."

#####
SPECIAL FISHWRAP EXCLUSIVE
SLEIPNIR: THE CONTENTS OF HIS BAG

(Sleipnir left his bag behind after the interview.  I rummaged through
it and found some stuff to run through my printing press before he
noticed.
  -Para)

To all, greetings.

The Pogue Mahone admissions committee have asked me to contribute a
poem to support my membership application. After much blood, sweat and
tears, I have the greatest honour in submitting the following humble
poetic effort for the perusal of the committee.

Upon request, I will be happy to recite this poem (with suitable
musical accompaniment) to any exile in the Land.

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir

**

I love the noble Arocet,
I love the gentle Blitz.
I love the fair Althea
(and I don't think she's a ditz).

I love the handsome Devil
like the fingers on my hand.
I love the dear Baffette, Azure
and Cygnus, Klur and Band.

But of them all my favourite
has got to be that Wisher.
He's sleek, he's slick, he's debonair.
No other exile's swisher.

And when it comes to finding paths
he's really really swell.
(The only trouble is that when
he finds them he won't tell.)

Now I must join this noble group
for reasons I shan't mention.
(It's cause the Lady Babajaga
pays me no attention).

And thus I strive most mightily
to join this noble Band.
And If I thus do cause offence
I know you'll understand.

I cursed the naughtie Gurgi
and although I didn't like
to do such bad and naughtie things
I cursed the noble Mike.

(But Mike's a real gentleman,
he said he didn't mind.
'Cause Michael is the noblest Thoom
that you will ever find.)

I'm keeping all the secrets
I discover in the marsh.
And I'm not telling anyone
although you think I'm harsh.

But since I'm going to join the Pogues
these things I've got to do.
So even if you howl and scream
no way I'm telling you.

I'm suing fallen exiles
when they lie and won't depart.
(Although I think it's rather mean
I'm hardening my heart.)

And from these legal efforts
I have suffered scorn and laughter.
I've done my time in jail, I've been
a real Poguie Martyr.

I'm practising maneuvers
in a military fashion.
I'm learning how to run with grace,
and find the rats, and bash'em.

The only difficulty
is that great big book of rules
(It's really not designed for those
who just are Knightly fools.)

I know that when I join the noble
wondrous Poguie Clan,
then I will be the very boldest
fiercest fighting man.

And when I am so fierce and bold
I hope she pays attention.
For Knights who only vanquish rats?
They barely rate a mention!

But surely when I am a Pogue
I will regain her heart,
and once I am a fierce bold Knight,
then we will never part.

And so we two will live in bliss
with all our Poguie mates.
(With Cutlas and Althea
joining us for double dates).

**

To all, greetings.

It be my very great pleasure to include for your perusal divers letters
of recommendation that I have collected from exiles in the Land. I hope
ye will read them with care and  attention, as they be most supportive
of mine application to join the clan Pogue Mahone..

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose


**************************

To whom it may concern:

I understand that Sleipnir is seeking entrance to the Pogue Mahone
clan.  As it is well known that this clan seeks out only the best and
brightest exiles to join them, it is my belief that Sleipnir is a most
worthy candidate.  Although he is, by his own admission, a foolish
knight, it is obvious that he can talk circles around any of those on
the current Pogue Mahone roster.  This is a very important skill, and
will no doubt be useful in many situations.  Thus, it would be in Pogue
Mahone's best interest to recruit Sleipnir without hesitation.

Entil'Zha Mithraell

**************************

I, Syndir, healer of the 3rd Circle, and Ripture War veteran, hereby
affirm the following:

I have personally witnessed Sir Sleipnir singlehandedly turn many of
the Great Maker's creatures into small bloody smears. He invariably
enhances the morale and camaraderie within any group, oftentimes
completely unintentionally. He plays a splendid tune and has a keen eye
for fashion. Small children love him. Sir Sleipnir is able to survive
in the wilderness with only a bootlace, a gummi wendecka, and a blunted
cheese knife. His manhood is of such proportions that it is rumored to
be a unit of measurement in his homeland. In short, I consider him to
be a friend, a confidant, and one of the finest Exiles on the isle.

Signed,

Syndir

**************************

To Whom it May Concern

While I have never participated in a hunt with Sir Sleipnir, I have
encountered this Brave Knight solo hunting in some of my favorite
areas.  In all cases I must attest to his Bravery in facing, alone,
great numbers of unpleasant (yet profitable) creatures.

Now, while Sir Sleipnir has not yet made a name for himself in the
ranks of the most powerful fighters in the land, you must notice those
that have surrounded this Fine Knight.  You may be aware of the old
saying, paraphrased as "behind every great man is a fine woman,
supporting and facilitating."  I ask you to reverse the genders and
look at the Lady Babajaga.  I do not believe that she could have
attained such skill and notoriety without the support and guidance of
Sir Sleipnir.  I am amazed at the sacrifices that Sleipnir must have
made, slaughtering the vermines and ferals for Babajaga while she
concentrates on  vanquishing the Wraths and Greater deaths.

I believe that Sir Sleipnir's displayed attributes of Sacrifice and
Devotion to the Cause makes this Knight a worthy addition to the fabled
Pogue Mahone fighting machine.

With kind regards,
++Hoover

***********************

After being invited to an afternoon of tea with Sir Sleipnir Na'Gralam,
Ser Sadraz dictates a scroll to her Squire John Junkar....

    Sir Sleipny ish onah my oldish friends.....  Why he'd make a great
PM!!!  He's a great exploiter... er... explorer.  'member when he
dishcover duh east field???  What a find that was!  For a foolish
Knight, he can be awful clever.

    O!  An how 'bout de time he laffed in de face o' Death when he
hugged the Greymur Chief afore his wedding?  Pershonally, I thought it
washa deep desire notuh go thru wid de weddin'....  But he lived tuh go
wid that fateful marriage.  Gotuh admit the man has forditude, he does.

(Sadraz mumbles about Babajaga probably regretting not using that anti-
wrinkle cream she gave them as a wedding present.)

    Now shum might think Sleipy hasa problem keeping his weight down and
dat he might be too fragile to keep up wid you hard runnin' PMs.  Not
the caysh atall.  Nossur!  I know fors a fact he wears the best corset
and support hose in de lands!  In fact, I once saw a rock thrown from a
'myr bounce right off de man's chest!!  Wid dat corset, Sleipie is well
nigh invinshable.  And the way the hose catches the light, many a
crittur has been blinded by sheen o' his calves. To see de way
Sleipniss dispatches a crittur fortwit is to see agility in action.

(Sadraz asks if there is more tea to be had.)

    But, hesa goo' man.  E'en when I and the manic knight kicked him out
of the Knight's, he took his punishment like the man he was and nary a
thought of vengeance on us.

    With all dese (hic) hatributes, Sir Sleipner wa make one good PM
man.  He might even make a song fer ya and yer exploits will be known
far and wide!  Sleip's the one for you.  Yup.

(Sadraz waves Squire John Junkar off to deliver the scroll and curls up
near the fire snoring softly.)
************************************

To Whom It May Concern:

I have known Sleipnir for a very long time. Not that I'm old and saggy;
that's just a rumor, probably started by those witches, but I digress.

He has always been eager to travel to new places. Why, I recall my very
first party in the greymyr village, which was organized and led by
Sleipnir. An unusual party indeed, with tea and cookies, as well as
titillating conversation. Of course, as with many of the finest
exploration parties, all of the guests ended up departing.

By the way, does anyone recall who won the "how long is this marriage
going to last" pool?

Anyway, I think he'd make a lovely addition to the Pogue Mahone
exploration team. Sure, exiles with nice legs are a luxury, not a
necessity, in a clan. But don't you guys think you've worked hard
enough to deserve the very best?

-Shamhat, who appreciates both a fine party and a shapely calf

#####
BEHIND THE MYSTIC
WITH YOUR HOST, MAC THE MYSTIC

(Fishwrap hereby presents a new feature, written by that famous
anonymous mystic, "Mac."
  -Para)

Greetings exiles! I bring you news from the world of mystics. This
report was sent to me via carrier bloodhawk from one of my confederates
in the field. He is risking his life to provide this information. All
the names have been changed to protect the innocent, not-so-innocent,
and the vulnerable.

3/10/01 5:49:16a Lycoris says, "Good evening"
3/10/01 5:49:17a Lycoris has not disclosed her race, is female, is an
Apprentice Mystic, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
3/10/01 5:49:17a She is holding a Rod of Akea.
3/10/01 5:49:28a Bern says, "Hello Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:49:28a (Bern smiles at Lycoris)
3/10/01 5:49:31a (Lycoris nods tersely)
3/10/01 5:49:38a Bern says, "So, what can I do for you?"
3/10/01 5:49:42a (Lycoris frowns)
3/10/01 5:49:57a Lycoris says, "This is difficult for me"
3/10/01 5:50:00a Mortis is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:50:03a (Bern nods encouragingly)
3/10/01 5:50:07a Lycoris ponders, "hmm"
3/10/01 5:50:13a Lycoris says, "this is a secret, even within the
guild"
3/10/01 5:50:28a Lycoris says, "an open secret perhaps, but still"
3/10/01 5:50:42a Bern says, "Well, you did ask to speak to me"
3/10/01 5:50:51a Lycoris says, "yes yes"
3/10/01 5:51:08a Lycoris says, "I just need you to understand what it
will mean to me"
3/10/01 5:51:13a Lycoris says, "if the guild learns where you got this
information"
3/10/01 5:51:19a Bern says, "I think I understand"
3/10/01 5:51:25a Bern says, "Names can be changed, would that do?"
3/10/01 5:51:32a Lycoris says, "I suppose so"
3/10/01 5:51:35a (Lycoris frowns again)
3/10/01 5:51:43a Lycoris says, "This is about one of the highest in the
guild"
3/10/01 5:51:56a Lycoris says, "Do you know who I mean, or must I be
more clear?"
3/10/01 5:52:01a (Bern looks perplexed)
3/10/01 5:52:13a Lycoris whispers, "Alright, it's Aki, now do you
understand?"
3/10/01 5:52:19a (Bern nods slowly)
3/10/01 5:52:28a Lycoris says, "He's the head of the council, even now"
3/10/01 5:52:43a Bern says, "what do you mean "even now?""
3/10/01 5:52:52a Lycoris says, "Well, did you know he joined Pogue
Mahone?"
3/10/01 5:52:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:53:01a Bern says, "I just noticed tonight"
3/10/01 5:53:05a Lycoris says, "he's been spending all his time with
them"
3/10/01 5:53:12a Lycoris says, "He ignores the guild totally,"
3/10/01 5:53:22a Lycoris says, "Not that he was ever easy to talk to,
but now it's impossible"
3/10/01 5:53:36a Lycoris says, "It's like PM has swallowed him up"
3/10/01 5:53:45a Bern says, "I've noticed"
3/10/01 5:53:52a Lycoris says, "Well, tonight, no, not tonight, last
night"
3/10/01 5:54:07a Lycoris says, "the 78th"
3/10/01 5:54:20a Lycoris says, "That was the full moon day. You know
what that means to mystics?"
3/10/01 5:54:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:54:26a Bern says, "Raid on the OC"
3/10/01 5:54:30a Lycoris says, "yes that's what I mean"
3/10/01 5:54:33a Miko is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:43a Lycoris says, "Recently the Guild hasn't had much
luck"
3/10/01 5:54:49a Valtrim is no longer Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:54a Lycoris says, "the raids haven't worked out too well"
3/10/01 5:55:02a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:55:14a Lycoris says, "last night, PM raided the OC"
3/10/01 5:55:23a Lycoris says, "and they were successful"
3/10/01 5:55:50a Lycoris says, "though I suppose that isn't too
surprising, they are pretty tough"
3/10/01 5:55:56a Bern says, "yes, they are that, but... are you
saying...?"
3/10/01 5:56:02a (Lycoris nods)
3/10/01 5:56:08a Lycoris says, "they were successful, they got a Stone"
3/10/01 5:56:17a Lycoris says, "Aki has a Teleportation stone now, and
I think he's pretty well trained in it too"
3/10/01 5:56:23a Bern says, "Well, that is news,"
3/10/01 5:56:32a Bern says, "I'll want to publish this, if it's alright
with you"
3/10/01 5:56:44a Lycoris whispers, "as long as you change the names"
3/10/01 5:56:52a Bern says, "Of course, as I promised"
3/10/01 5:57:26a Lycoris says, "Provided it doesn't crumble, this will
give PM some new abilities"
3/10/01 5:57:39a Lycoris says, "The stories of the old rings, they say
that groups could be teleported"
3/10/01 5:57:51a Lycoris says, "I think Malkor managed it, before his
stone crumbled, at least once anyway"
3/10/01 5:57:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:10a Lycoris says, "I think exiles in general should know.
The guild has secrets, but this is different"
3/10/01 5:58:18a Lycoris says, "This is a Pogue Mahone secret"
3/10/01 5:58:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:25a Lycoris says, "It won't make any difference, they'll
just laugh it off, or ignore it"
3/10/01 5:58:33a Lycoris says, "But I still think people ought to know"
3/10/01 5:58:45a Bern says, "I think we can do something about that at
the very least"
3/10/01 5:58:52a (Lycoris smiles)
3/10/01 5:58:59a Bern says, "Thank you Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:59:08a You gave good karma to Lycoris, thank you for your
honesty
3/10/01 5:59:15a (Lycoris nods)

By the way, in other news, Aki's fallen repeatedly to unnamed monsters
while on hunts with Pogue Mahone recently, causing many mystics to
wonder if perhaps he is taking unnecessary risks. Some say his
association with this clan is damaging his relations with other
mystics. No one knows for sure what the long-term implications of this
will be.

Until next time!

Mystically yours,
Mac

#####
MEDICAL JOURNAL ENTRY
BY TESSA

My Case to the Newly Formed Medical Ethics Board

Patient Name: [OMITTED FOR REASONS OF PRIVACY- REFERRED TO HERE AS
"PATIENT X"

Diagnosis:  Chronic mutagenic transformation and infection, with
parasitic dendritic formation along the spinal and brain stem CSF
pathways.

Symptoms:  Radical change in behavior, skin pigment changes, chronic
soreness of affected areas, impairment of normal neural function.
Paranoia is evident, with an insistent resistance and refusal to submit
to treatment.

Prognosis:  After final transformation, the life of the patient will be
inextricably bound to the life of the invading parasite.  Further
discussion in the case history.

Case Histories:

I first met PATIENT X in town.  A highly esteemed warrior with tan
complexion and a firm build, she has a reputation for equitability,
sound judgement, and level-headedness.

12 Autumn 538.  Patient fell unconscious in town. Medical emergency. I
checked for vital signs.  BP130/95 f. p 145 b normal.  Languid and
unresponsive.  Pupil reflex positive.  The patient then recovered
consciousness.   No diagnosis.

32 Autumn 538.  Patient  listless and depressed.  What ensued was best
described as a counseling session.  PATIENT X reported marital problems
with her husband, XXXXXX, now separated.    Involvement of a third
party, one by the name of XXXXXX, suspected.  Patient seemed unwilling
to work towards resolution but at the same time seemed nearly overcome
with tension.  She showed signs of depression throughout the session:
a narrowing of options, feelings of helplessness as to how to resolve
the situation, unwillingness to compromise or seek resolution.

49 Autumn 538.   Patient appeared with severe pigmentosis.  Upon
question, asserted her skin had not changed tone and that she was
suffering no ill effects.  At this time, PATIENT X renounced any
knowledge of her husband, now separated.  Upon discussion, the patient
became irritated.  Diagnosis:  repressive amnesia, depression, paranoid
delusion.  Administered 10cc Thorazine, IV. Patient progressed into
shock and convulsions.   Adverse and physical reactions to Thorazine,
however, are not indicated.  Complications must be arising from some
primary inductive agent.   Extracted a blood sample.  Further study
indicated.  But the patient does not seem mentally stable.  Further
study refused, and noncompliance to medical procedure noted.

This quote neatly sums up the following events, after which numerous
people tried to have the courts declare PATIENT X insane and have her
committed.  That failed.   And then PATIENT X sought a court injunction
to terminate our doctor-patient relationship.  That effort was deemed
frivolous.

Mac-arena says, "insanity clouds judgement, resulting in false
actions."
Mac-arena says, "we are seeking to imprison her, for lack of an asylum,
to protect the Public At Large"
Mac-arena says, "and as evidence of her insanity, look at her skin
colour: it is raven grey."
Mac-arena says, "53 Autumn 538: PATIENT X says, "No it's not. It's
lilywhite"

And many days later:

8 Winter, 538
Blitz ponders, "PATIENT X has one hell of a rash"
(PATIENT X scratches her neck thoughtfully and glances at Tessa)

Patient develops an irritating skin lesion, anterior lateral C6 (at the
right base of her neck l. insertion planal clavicular)

25 Spring 538

Biopsy taken of affected area (With the assistance and agreement of
PATIENT X's good friend Ataru).  Analysis revealed infection with a
trans-genetic mutagen.  Systemic changes noted at the nucleotide level
within cells.  Scans show subdermal lesions extending laterally and
medially from the spine and brain stem.  Nature or effect of lesions
unknown at this time.  Method of insertion of the infectious agent
appears to have been through an incision made in the base of the neck,
which shows signs of tissue necrosis.  Progression of gangrene however
is not present.  There must be some antibacterial agent at work at the
site of the wound.

Because of the progression and nature of the disease, psychological and
neurological effects are indicated.  The patient shows irrational fear
of and resistance to treatment.

Further research:

Independent research and advice of others pointed me toward research
into the Neodew situation frequently discussed in town.  Samples from a
variety of species of Neodews bear genetic resemblance to the sample
taken from PATIENT X's neck.  PATIENT X herself claims to have been
"dewed" but the method of insertion of this agent is commonly oral, and
not subdermal.  I suspect that PATIENT X's case is unusual in this
regard.

10 Autumn 538

In vivio incubation of an active reagent commenced, research into
possible cures begun.    Continued to observe and monitor PATIENT X to
measure the progression of disease.

2 Winter 540

Administration of active reagent seemed unlikely because the patient is
making every effort to avoid treatment and care.  So, the
administration of a possible cure was subcontracted to Mr. Bubba.
However, he has disappeared.  I do not know if PATIENT X has received
the treatment.  However, she does not yet show any signs of change.
Further biopsy and imaging indicated.

Tessa

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
Behind the Mystic II

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Mac, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"So long, and thanks for all the fish"
   - Douglas Adams

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Island
Panther Pie with it in the afternoon"
Issue #33: "The Return of Jynx"
[March 4, 2001]
Circulation: 149

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
   http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Sylph the Sylvan
   "Slyph for Puddlebean Ornithological Society Council"
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* "Mending by Malloc":
   Box 1828, Puddleby Post
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Dred Passage expeditions continue
* Tenebrion disappears; some suspect Umbrion may be involved
* Undine uprising crushed by vigilant exiles
* Manx and Slyph to spar for Puddlebean Ornithological Society council
seat in nasty smear campaign

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Darkhorse Clan and Puddleby Marine Corps venture successfully into
Dred Passage
* Umbrion spotted in town
* Parade in town
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Exiles search Tenebrion's Keep in the absence of its owner
* Yor shows giant crystal
* Old-fashioned undine bash in the undine hut
* Large death vermine present a challenge to powerful exiles
* Qual makes puns on the Sunstone Network
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Dred Passage map more complete
* Sala Dragon reaches pond and flower field in Dred Passage
* Controversy over Algernon's assistance in battle
* New town zoo with rare purple tor
* Azure sues Thuja for not departing
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Recent ballot results:
#174: Would you like to see/help with a Beautify Puddleby Project?
http://ferindril.dhs.org/ferindril/beautify
23 (46%): Yes, I would love to help make Puddleby a better looking
place!
13 (26%): I wouldn't mind seeing it, but I'm not sure if I could help.
2 (4%): No! I want to live in a dirty place with no trees for shade!
6 (12%): Where's Puddleby?
3 (6%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#175: Do you think it would be good to be able to open 'joint' bank
accounts?
33 (69%): Yes
7 (15%): No
6 (13%): Don't care
1 (2%): None of the above
1 (2%): Abstain
#176: How do you feel about Lunaria's recent appointment to Deputy by
Noivad?
6 (13%): It's great we need more concerned citizens being Deputized!
3 (6%): This is horrible! How am I going to commit crime with all these
deputies running around?
11 (23%): I'm an Exile, I hate authority figures! the less the better!
6 (13%): I want to be a deputy!
17 (35%): None of the above
5 (10%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Galadriel, Elenis Reyav,
Maria, Axia, Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Lursa, Leogic, Algernon,
Malkor, Artesia."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_041_02_31 on 41 Winter, 541 at 3:56..."
Clerus says, "Azure accused Thuja of reckless endangerment of life...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 88 minutes in jail, 612c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_044_07_12 on 44 Winter, 541 at 7:51..."
Clerus says, "Madcat accused Infectus of stealing my shield..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_044_08_46 on 44 Winter, 541 at 9:44..."
Clerus says, "Shadrock accused Infectus of stealing madcat`s shield..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_060_22_11 on 60 Winter, 541 at 23:10..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Algernon of corrupt politition..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 1283 minutes in jail, 11030c
fine and 0 days banished."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
THE SNAGGLEWOOD EXPERIMENT
BY DEADMEAT

(Fishwrap is proud to present this special report from Deadmeat.

A version of this report with pictures can be found here:

http://www.geocities.com/billreeves/deadmeat/dm_snaggy_experiment.html

  -Para)

28-Win-541 (24-Feb-2001)

...So I heard that there was a group in the Orga Village. All of
Puddleby is very excited right now about the recent public discovery of
the so-called "Dred Passage" which apparently leads from the Orga
Outback to the Foothills, although nobody but Clan Pogue Mahone and
friends have actually made it through the passage. In any case, there
have been lots of parties in the Orga Village and Orga Outback recently
to try to find a way through the Dred Passage.

So I headed towards the Orga Camp in the hopes of finding a way to meet
up with the group in the Orga Village, even though I myself have never
been past Hatred's Hollow. While on the way there, I ran into Mortis
and Cronos who had the same idea. We found our way to Orga Camp, and
Mortis, who is an accomplished pathfinder, let us into the Snagglewood.
In Snaggy, we met up with some other exiles -- a few of them were
returning from a failed attempt to pass through Wisher's Gate to
Hatred's Hollow -- apparently, John Junkar (another pathfinder) has
been able to open the gate in the past, but he was not able to on this
trip.

So eight of us made our way back to Boneswood: Mortis, Cronos, John
Junkar, Lark, Topaz, Naferu, Monkey, and myself. We didn't really think
that we would be able to make it through Hatred's Hollow alive, but
what's the fun in not trying?

We did not have any substantial difficulty in reaching Boneswood. Once
we were safe there, Mortis attempted to open the gate. The last words
he told us were "Checking to see if I can open. I should pop right
back... if not, I'm toast..."

Sure enough, he opened the gate, and he did not pop right back. He fell
to an Orga Fury seconds later. None of the rest of us could open the
gate. At the time of this writing, Mortis is most likely still fallen
in Hatred's Hollow.

So, the seven of us who remained came up with an alternate plan. I
think it was mostly Cronos' plan. The goal was to fall in the vicinity
of an Orga Zealot, and then have the Zealot teleport the fallen bodies
to the Orga Village. The group in the Orga Village would then be able
to raise them.

In my opinion, that was one of the silliest plans that I had ever heard
of. I had no intention of going through with it. So Lark, who shared
this opinion with me, and I, decided to be the "control group" -- we
would stay alive ourselves, and make sure that everything went well
with the other five who intended to be teleported by a Zealot while
fallen.

A cooperative Zealot or two eventually came along, but they did not
have enough firepower (literally) to make anyone fall, except for
Monkey. So we waited longer, and more beasts showed up. Eventually, all
five of those who were undergoing the experiment fell. In order to
leave the Zealots undisturbed with the fallens, Lark and I went south,
from Boneswood to Riegerwood.

Soon enough, we got a toggle from one of the fallens. It turns out that
the Zealots had followed us south. So we took all of the fallens on my
chain, and dragged them to Riegerwood (which was much more dangerous
than Boneswood at that time). Lark and I retreated to Boneswood.

Another toggle from the fallens. The Zealots were too far away. So Lark
and I herded one of the Zealots to the northwest corner, and we moved
four of the fallens into place near the Zealot. We then used kuzdu to
insure that the Zealot would not be able to leave the corner unless it
teleported one of the fallen exiles out of the way. Once again, Lark
and I retreated to Boneswood.

And we waited.

Almost an hour later, our patience was rewarded -- with a spawn of
vermine and warlocks. Lark was immediately surrounded by vermine, and
she fell quickly. I was scouring the edge of the snell, so I did not
get surrounded, but there were enough warlocks that I would fall soon
without healing. So I grabbed Lark's fallen body on my chain, and ran
north, and immediately south. I believe we were in the Tonle snell when
I finally fell. Snagglewood was not a safe place for a badly wounded
fighter with a fallen healer on his chain.

So we settled in to wait for a rescue. However, a passing Orga Zealot
had other plans. I found myself in the Orga Village, among friends! So
much for the "control group" -- Cronos' experiment was a complete
success, except the wrong exiles got teleported!

After I was raised, I found that Topaz and John Junkar were teleported
before I was, and while I was in Orga Village, Naferu, Cronos, Lark,
and Monkey all joined us.

Of course, this story does not have a happy ending. A rather incredible
spawn of Large Death Vermine, Orga Hemlocks, and Orga Furies came along
and wiped us all out. I attempted to chain a few of the many fallens to
safety, but not knowing where safety lay, we didn't make it.

So we ended with a mass depart. A small price to pay for the scientific
discovery that we learned -- it is possible to use the teleporting
properties of Orga Zealots to bypass Hatred's Hollow and reach the Orga
Village, if there is a group in the Village who can raise you.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

"Mending by Malloc!"

Great! You can solo Hatreds! But look at you! Your clothes are in
tatters!

Be the talk of the town with neat and spiffy stitching.

* Need a quick stitch-up? I come to to you!

* Discounts for healers and mystics that rescue my fallen body.

* Contact via SS or box 1828

-Malloc

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
BY TYKING II, SERVANT OF TENEBRION

I recently met with Tenebrion while he was using a Sarir as a vessel.
He explained to me that Umbrion's guards and minions are at his keep
only to watch it while he was gone. Tenebrion is currently at Umbrion's
keep along with his brothers, as they try to strengthen the continually
decaying Spell of Protection around Umbrion's island.

On a sadder note, Tenebrion informed me that Umbrion's last comments on
Puddleby were "We should burn them all to the ground". As you can see,
Umbrion is a lot meaner than his brother Tenebrion. I urge everyone to
be careful around him.

Worried, yet relieved,
Tyking II
Servant of Tenebrion

#####
A CONVERSATION WITH JYNX
BY PERKUSI

So I was sitting in town the other day, and this cloaked person plops
down next to me while I played some music. No big deal. But he was
speaking in this really weird language. Something told me he really
wanted to talk to me, so I wondered if he might speak Zo. Lo and
behold! Anyway, it was a really weird conversation. I'm glad I know
enough about this Tenebrion business by reading up. Otherwise I would
have been lost.

Here's the journal of my talk with Jynx. I think it's important.

  -Perkusi

Jynx says, "*é ª®é **®«ïñ@"
(Perkusi wonders if Jynx can speak Zo.)
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "yes?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "eh hem"
(Phiros's sunsstone flickers)
(Perkusi smiles.)
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Perkusi exclaims in Ghorak Zo, "I'm glad!"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "Because the other language was way out of
my league."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "What's that blue stuff under your hood
there?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "residue"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "from?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "your plane"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "plane?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "it takes much concentration"
Jynx has not disclosed his race, is male, is an Apprentice Mystic, and
is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
He is holding a pair of metal bracers.
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "very much damage"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "we repair"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "um... you're gonna have to explain a bit
more."
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "repair?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "your plane"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "from what?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "damage"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "how did it get damaged?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "foolish children"
(Jynx makes a chorus of sounds.)
Perkusi exclaims in Ghorak Zo, "oooo!"
(Jynx makes a sound that sounds like singing, if it wasn't for the
impossible number of tones made.)
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "um... foolish children doing what?"
(Perkusi's ears ring.)
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "meddling in forces they do not understand"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "so we fix"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "and come to warn"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "Jynx, who are the children, and what do
they do?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "you are the children"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "and what forces?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "you do many things"
(Jynx makes a chorus of sounds.)
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "how can I take warning if I don't know what
to avoid or change?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "i am not here to warn you"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "just to fix?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "no"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "i like to see how things are"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "here"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I'm sorry... I am a Zo. sometimes you have
to be really really blunt."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
(Perkusi gets out her gitor.)
You equip your gitor.
* You start playing...
Perkusi starts playing her gitor
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "how am i doing¿"
(Perkusi plays "Two Moods")
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "well, you have told me I am a child that
meddles with forces I don't understand...."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "no"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "not you"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "well, as part of the collective body of
children"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "the other children"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
(Perkusi puts her music away so she can concentrate on Jynx's words.)
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "it is not your fault"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "who's fault is it?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "we know"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "the mad necromancer is one"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "those that used all the dark orbs"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "those that sold their pendants"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "dark orbs... the soulglasses?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes, i think that is your name for them"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "more please. I need details for me to
understand what I can do to make things better."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "they pluck the strings of the planes too hard"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "the soulglasses/dark orbs?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "and what about the pendants and Tenebrion?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "the same"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "effect"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "his use of them does the same as the
soulglasses?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "almost"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "the effect is the same"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "and how do you know this? I'm rather unsure
of how you would know."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "not the action"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "i fix"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "we fix"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "how do you fix?"
(Perkusi waves at Romuli)
(Jynx channels light throughout his body)
(Jynx emits something that looks like smoke from his entire body)
Perkusi ponders, "eep!"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "ok... that's scary weird...."
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "but... how does that fix it? is the
plane... torn?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "or frayed"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "or broken"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "question... is another war imminent? a
ripture war?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "maybe not"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "you didn't say no either"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "it depends"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "on?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "what the children do"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "but it will look different to you"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "if there is one"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "than the one before?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I didn't go through the war before, so I
really don't know what it looked like. My teacher did though."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "we are still cleaning up"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "who else is cleaning up, besides you? is
there someone I can help?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "trying to open the old passages"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "no"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "the... portals? waht we call mirrors?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "but maybe so"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
(Perkusi blinks in thought.)
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "um...."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes you can help"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "how?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "fix the crystal"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "the crystal?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "there's one broken"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "you mean the little shard things that
people are finding?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "is that what it looks like to you¿"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "do those come from the crystal?"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I haven't seen one."
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I've just heard others talking about
fragments."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "odd"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "they should be unstable in this plane"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "well... they keep disappearing, I hear."
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "is that unstable?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes, that makes sense"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "ok.... so... eep... you need me to get
people to fix the crystal?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "you need to help"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "me? personally?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "everyone needs to help"
Perkusi exclaims in Ghorak Zo, "tell me how. I don't understand!"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "find the last piece or two"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "if you find someone that knows what to do with
them"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "last piece or two?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "give them to them"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "or call for me"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "i will come"
Perkusi exclaims in Ghorak Zo, "How can I call you?!"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "just call"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "if i am close by i will hear"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "who knows what to do with them?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "but there are those that can do this without
me"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "you will know when they speak"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I don't sit still too often... eep."
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "I guess I'll have to be more observant."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "so... they speak like you did?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "no"
ynx says in Ghorak Zo, "they are children"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "like me."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "they look and speak like the rest of the
children"
Perkusi asks in Ghorak Zo, "can you tell me what it is about their
speech that will clue me in?"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "what they say, how they act when you go
looking, other things"
Perkusi exclaims in Ghorak Zo, "ok... I'll try to remember that. You're
trusting a Zo here, remember!"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "yes"
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "i must rest"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "me too soon... I hope I see you again in
case I have questions."
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "it has been a long trip" Jynx says in Ghorak
Zo, "you will"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "good."
(Perkusi blinks.)
Jynx says in Ghorak Zo, "take care Perkusi"
Perkusi says in Ghorak Zo, "you too"
(Kiriel D'Sol giggles)
* You gain experience.
Perkusi says, "um...."
Perkusi says, "I gotta go."
(Algernon looks around for his friend Marcus Antonius.)
Aurian ponders, "everyones speaking in languages"
(Phiros waves)
(Perkusi looks really spooked.)
Jynx is no longer Clanning.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
"Behind the Mystic"

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"There's no tradition like a new tradition."
   - Crow T. Robot

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover goat
cheese with it in the afternoon"
Issue #32: "EXTRA: Dred Passage"
[February 24, 2001]
Circulation: 150

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Dred Passage revealed
for more information on the above story, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* New Pathfinder passage?

#####
SPECIAL REPORT
DRED PASSAGE DISCOVERED
BY BABAJAGA

On day 23 of Winter, 541 was the fabled, long-awaited entrance found on
sn´ell 32 of the Orga Outback by this crew:

Kojiro, Prince Valiant, Dandelion, Tater, Viper, Thuja, Babajaga,
Deathlord, Haenk, Axell, Noivad, Newton, Nevyn, Yor, Viper, Ashra and
Elenis Reyav with the help of Cronos trough Hatred´s Hollow. (If I have
missed someone please tell me)

It didn´t seem to be "the day we were going to find it" from the start.
Hatred´s Hollow was packed with an assortment of beasties that kept us
occupied for a long time, until we finally got a foothold and could
trap the Hatred, kill the Frenzy and all the other red ones, and move
up to the choke and through that tunnel of bolts. Midway we met the
Hatred´s brother, and we managed to trap even that one with the help of
the Zu masters we had with us.

With Yor leading us, we ran through the least interesting sn´ells 2 at
a time, and quickly came to the most interesting part of the Orga
Outback for us this day, the upper sn´ells. We were going to check out
Koric´s theory, and check out some sn´ells a second time. The lower
sn´ells had been searched at least 2 times, not so with some of the
upper ones. This was our plan, this was our mission. We had an army of
pathfinders with us, and they bumped and examined every tree on each
sn´ell.

When Axell yelled: Path! I think I swallowed my tongue or something. We
all rushed to her, and followed a tap root down. And, there it was. A
large cave with vermines, and on the south wall - a ladder. THE ladder.
The ladder that leads to this place we have heard so much about but
never found, until now. Dred Passage.

Hoorays filled the air and the sunstone network, and when it died down
we realized we had just won a great prize. What to do with 20K?
Sunstones of course. For newlings! Brilliant! Even more hoorays, and
then Thuja couldn´t resist the temptation and climbed up the ladder.
Oops. Elenis quickly followed. Another oops, until we got news they had
been teleported to Orga Village by the never-resting Orga Zealots.

We quickly gathered our things and headed for the village to pick up
Thuja and Elenis, but alas - we never got that far. Still a bit dizzy
after all that celebration, and the sweet taste of success, we got a
bit overconfident and forgot out basic teachings, and fell in a heap
somewhere in the outback.

After a quick rendezvous in Purgatory, we met again in Puddleby - that
were completely filled with exiles eager to congratulate us and
themselves for the discovery.

So, now we know where it is. And, we also know where it leads to.
Now.... we just have to practice getting there..
To be continued...

Babajaga

#####
MYSTERIOUS PATHFINDER PASSAGE DISCOVERED
BY PARAMEDIC

I found this new Pathfinder passage.

http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/pfsparkle.gif

No one seems to know where it goes, and no one can enter it.

Strangely, the passage seems to be beyond reach.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

I go for Penguins

I don't go for fancy cars
For diamond rings
Or movie stars
I go for penguins
Oh Lord I go for penguins

Throw your money out the door
We'll just sit around
And watch it snow
I go for penguins
Oh Lord I go for penguins

Penguins are so sensitive
Penguins are so sensitive
Penguins are so sensitive
To my needs
To my needs
To my needs
To my needs
       --Lyle Lovett

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Island
Panther Pie with it in the afternoon"
Issue #31: "Monks, Music, and the Mist Key"
[February 23, 2001]
Circulation: 149

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Lark: Scribia 0.1.4-alpha can be downloaded from:
   http://sourceforge.net/projects/scribia/
* "Mending by Malloc":
   Box 1828, Puddleby Post
* Gurgi, for the Foothills Reward Fund:
   http://www.puddleby.dk/gurgi/reward.html
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* New caves under town discovered by Biff the Thoom
* Exiles debate name for new caves: "Underground"? "Catacombs"?
"Tunnels of Biff"?
* Trainer found in newly discovered caves: Digger
* Museum expanded
* Bounty-takers moved to hut in East Farms
* Bakery open
* Bracis is now training followers in the monastery (see below for
more)

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Umbrion's Island appearing soon?
* Detailed instructions for killing Yor the Zo
* The Separ
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* The Dreadful Passage and the Foothills
* The Pyramid of Thoughtful Flag-Waving Thooms
* The Results of Norm's Art Contest
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Large Death Vermine ravage unprepared exiles
* New builder for planting more trees
* Biff the Thoom biffed in Mid-Pass
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Recent ballot results:
#172: Should we burn the bakery to the ground if it doesn't open up
soon?
19 (42%): Yes! Those halflings keep eating the goods!
10 (22%): No, I don't mind waiting forever and being tortured by the
smell of fresh bread I can't buy.
9 (20%): Who cares, I like Haricot's cooking just fine. Love those
socks!
3 (7%): None of the above.
3 (7%): None of the above
1 (2%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Madame H, Gurgi, Astrid,
John Junkar, Axell."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Mac-arena, John Junkar,
Arocet, Algernon, Gurgi."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_004_03_18 on 4 Winter, 541 at 4:08..."
Clerus says, "Icy accused Zaroff of putting my fire out..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 569 minutes in jail, 6948c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_004_22_40 on 4 Winter, 541 at 23:22..."
Clerus says, "Domino accused Super Chicken of Visciously slaughtering
his frog..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_016_09_53 on 16 Winter, 541 at 10:54..."
Clerus says, "Tarf accused Mefin of being himself (a jerk)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 373 minutes in jail, 2607c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_020_12_02 on 20 Winter, 541 at 13:24..."
Clerus says, "Icy accused Artesia of killing the bigger and improved
zoo...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 51 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 140 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FROM THE FEN NEWS BUREAU:
BY JEANNE

1) Finding Bracis

[OOC February 11, 2001]
I was participating in my weekly clan (Light & Shadow) hunt when I got
a message from Amon Yret saying that he had information about a new
Monastery trainer. As I was in the middle of attacking ferals and
making sure I didn't lose sight of my clan, I asked him where he was.
When he said that he was in the Monastery, I suddenly remembered who he
was. He's the NPC that told us for many weeks of Sensei Ja'chan's
disappearance. I quickly excused myself and ran back to the Monastery
to talk to him because I knew that something big was about to happen.

Amon told me that the new teacher could be found in a secluded valley
in the east forest and that his name is Bracis. I contacted Eek, a
fellow Light & Shadow member, and a monk, to come to the Monastery. He
quickly came and insisted on listening to Amon's message for himself.
Amon suggested that we ask our fellow exiles for help and opinionated
that many would be willing to help us. Eek and I went to town center
and I announced to everyone that we were going to find a new Monastery
teacher and we needed help. Many came and we decided to go the New East
Forest. Angela, a fellow Light & Shadow member came along to lend her
pathfinding skills. Since Angela knew that area, I said that she would
give instructions about where we should go. In each snell, we
investigated every nook and cranny and kept other exiles appraised of
our status via sunstone.

Then a breakthrough! Newton told us that he found an empty valley with
a hut that had the same carpet as the Monastery. He came to where we
were and we all followed him to a hidden valley with an empty hut. When
I left the hut, everyone had surrounded Bracis who was none too happy
about us interrupting his solitude. He went back to the hut and we all
followed him in. We apologized for intruding but told him that we were
missing a teacher who taught us the art of empty-handed combat. He
wanted us all to leave right away because he valued his privacy. He was
given sake which did much to persuade him to listen to us. We told him
of the changes that Puddleby had undergone since he had visited it. We
described the Monastery and how peaceful it is with a Koi Pond, leafy
trees, a training room, a ceremony room, and a meditation room. We told
him about how many people were training with Sensei Ja'chan, how we had
suffered without a teacher to continue our training, and that his
skills would be valued by many exiles. Finally, he agreed to come and
look at the Monastery.

We left his valley and he rolled a rock over the entrance so that it
would remain undisturbed. Logical, but the valley would  have been
great as a safe place when being chased by critters. Newton led the way
and I yelled out where we were going so that no one would get lost.
Along the way, we came across a herd of Wendeckas which we easily
handled with the help of our healers. Bracis was particularly
impressive and dispatched a Wendecka in two hits. The rest of the way
home went without incident and we met Sutai, Grandmaster of the
Monastery, at the north entrance. Sutai and Bracis made introductions
and we went to the Monastery for a look around. Bracis was impressed
with everything and liked the extensive library, the ceremony room, and
the Koi Pond. We went to the Training Room last of all and Bracis
talked to Amon Yret. Bracis mentioned our flooded basement and asked
that it be fixed at the earliest possible moment. Amon explained that
they had no time to fix it because they were looking for a new teacher
which showed how important he was to the monks and to Puddleby. Amon
promised to fix the basement and exited via a hidden doorway. Bracis
then became the teacher for many of us and took his place where Amon
used to be.

I hope that Bracis is happy with the Monastery and with Puddleby and
remains our teacher for a long time. If you ever want to train in the
use of empty-handed combat and use bracers instead of swords and axes,
visit Bracis in the Monastery.

2) Why would you train with Bracis?

There's no doubt that there a dozens of trainers in Puddleby, all
willing to take your hard-earned ranks for valuable training. As we
train it becomes harder to gain new ranks. This is probably why Sensei
Ja'chan and now Bracis are ignored by many exiles. Most exiles use the
axe for fighting, or more rarely the long sword and the shiny dagger.
These weapons don't require training to use and coins can be easily
gotten. However, empty-handed combat has several advantages that make
it well worth the training.

At 10 ranks you get cloth bracers, 25 ranks you get leather bracers,
and 50 ranks gets you metal bracers. These numbers worked with Sensei
Ja'chan but I believe Bracis works the same way. I  have used both
cloth and leather and can talk about the strengths and weaknesses of
each of these weapons.

Cloth bracers seemed to be about the equivalent of the club and had
very little attack power but good accuracy. Leather bracers are much
better and seem to be only a bit weaker than the axe, which I had
before. I kill most Ferals in 3 to 5 hits with my 50 Darkus and miss
them infrequently with my approximately 125 Atkus. I had exactly 2
swings with my axe and now have a bit over 3 swings with leather
bracers.

What's great about the leather bracers is that you can use the shield
with them and, at only cost 50 coins to buy, are much cheaper than the
axe and shiny dagger. If you're a healer or mystic, I don't see much of
a reason to go beyond this since the accuracy and damage of the leather
bracers will be enough for you. You will probably be tagging instead of
killing the strong critters yourself so you won't need the damage of
the metal bracers. The shiny dagger is well known for being a tagging
weapon but you need to find a piece of metal and you need to repair it
when it turns into a dull dagger. I don't know how much it costs but
since it costs nothing to repair bracers, they are a better deal and
finding metal isn't easy at all.

So you have an investment of 25 ranks to use a weapon with good damage
and accuracy, ability to be used with the shield, inexpensive at only
50 coins, and is a good weapon at tagging. For fighters who need more
power, I recommend training for the metal bracers. I'll write another
report about them once I am able to use them.

#####
TENEBRION COMMISSIONS MUSIC
BY PERKUSI

At this most recent bard concert and audition, a cloaked person with
the name Sarir appeared. But as soon as he spoke we knew he was not the
usual exile. It was Tenebrion, speaking through a "vessel" that he
claims to have created. That was plenty creepy enough for me, and I
quickly hid my purgatory pendant deep in my pack.

Then he informed us that he would like to commission a piece of music
for his minstrel to play. He requested the title of "Ethereal Plane."
The prize for the winning composition would be antlers and 100 coins.
Phineas and I were the bard masters present. We asked him to wait a
moment as we discussed the guild's potential involvement. He was kind
enough to accomodate us.

Phineas and I decided the guild might be better off keeping its hands
somewhat free of this situation. We told him we would announce it to
the bards, but the guild would do nothing official beyond that. He
agreed to the terms, and eventually he disappeared.

Maz appeared in the lands a little later, and we told him of the
development. After some discussion, we decided that the guild should be
more involved, but Tenebrion would have to put up more coins if the
guild was going to help him. Tenebrion happened to still be about in
his keep, so I asked his permission to speak with him. He offered me
safe passage from his courtyard into his conference room. I reluctantly
went off with Relkin to Tenebrion's Island.

I didn't fare too well on the island. I managed to get surrounded and
fall just east of the west beach. Kodo was kind enough to come chain
me, with Relkin beating a path for us. My squished body finally made it
to Tenebrion's conference room. Tenebrion announced that a healer for
me would be welcomed, and Tyking and Papa came to help. (Tyking did his
best to interfere with my business with Tenebrion, even though
Tenebrion had given me permission to be there.)

I explained to Tenebrion that my boss had requested that the guild be
more involved in this commission in order to make sure it was handled
with the utmost care. Tenebrion was agreeable to that. Then I told him
that we would prefer a larger prize, due to the politically sensitive
nature of this relationship. After a great deal of haggling, he decided
to reduce his minstrel's pay for a while (citing lack of composition
skills as the reason), and we settled on 250 coins, and the antlers of
course.

He ordered the guards in the courtyard to stand down and we left
without incident. And so ends my tale. The commission will be paid on
OOC: March 3 at 3:00pm PST to the winning bard or quester. The winner
will be paid once the sheet music is handed over to Tenebrion.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

"Mending by Malloc!"

Great! You can solo Hatreds! But look at you! Your clothes are in
tatters!

Be the talk of the town with neat and spiffy stitching.

* Need a quick stitch-up? I come to to you!

* Discounts for healers and mystics that rescue my fallen body.

* Contact via SS or box 1828

-Malloc

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
BY TYKING II, SERVANT OF TENEBRION

I recently met with Tenebrion, and I've gotten a lot of new
information. Tenebrion, as you all probably know, has 4 brothers, one
of them being Umbrion, the hot tempered pyromaniac. Due to Tenebrion's
contact with Puddleby, his brothers have become suspicious of him. The
spell of protection that shields Umbrion's island from our eyes has
been weakening. His brothers blame it on Tenebrion, and now Umbrion
wants him dead. All of the 'brions met a while ago to try and
strengthen the spell of protection around Umbrion's island. I'm not
sure of the outcome, but if the spell fails, Umbrion's island will be
accesible.

Don't start to think that going to Umbrion's is the same as visiting
Tenebrion. Unlike Tenebrion, Umbrion wants nothing to do with Puddleby,
and would destroy us in an instant. I urge all exiles to stay away from
Umbrion, as he has the power to kill us. When I say kill us, I mean
death! No healing, no departing, death! Please stay away from Umbrion,
the last thing we want is Umbrion coming to Puddleby.

I have also heard from Tenebrion that J'jh is storing a large number of
crystal shards. I urge her to please give those crystals back. After
discussing thoroughly with Tenebrion, I have become aware of exactly
what the crystals do. The crystals are more dangerous to Tenebrion than
Puddleby, Tenebrion can stop the crystals from destroying him, but us
Puddlebeans cannot. If we keep the crystals, we will endanger Puddleby,
Tenebrion, and the entire Lok'Groton island chain! Please don't take
crystal shards!

Lastly, I have heard news of Astral Drakes in Purgatory. I expected no
less from the creature. The creature is after Tenebrion and anybody who
ventures into Purgatory. It harnesses the power of the plane to create
these manifestations we now call Astral Drakes. Rest assured though,
Tenebrion's work with his pendants did not create the Astral Drakes or
the creature. Tenebrion has not damaged purgatory in any way.

I remain worried for myself and all of Puddleby, Tyking II
Servant of Tenebrion

P.S. No, I don't hate Tenebrion. That time I was saying that was one of
my bouts of insanity. I continue to be Tenebrion's servant.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Greetings fellow exiles!

I would like to announce that, as of this moment, I am offering a
reward for anyone that reveals to me the location of the foothills.
The reward amount, at this time is 20065. The reward will grow as more
people donate money to it.  Go to http://www.puddleby.dk/gurgi/
reward.html to see the latest figure.

To collect the reward, the collector must be the first person to supply
Gurgi with confirmed directions to the foothills.  Directions are
confirmed when Gurgi has reached the foothills by following the
directions supplied by the collector or by being lead there by the
collector. The reward is paid to the collector upon confirmation.

The collector will remain anonymous. The collector does not even have
to reveal their identity to Gurgi if he/she can meet the requirements
and collect without doing so. Gurgi will not reveal the identity to
anyone, even the donators.

All donations are to be given over to Gurgi and he will be keeping them
all together. The reward is always equal to the total amount of the
donations. Donations must be paid in full before they are counted,
however,  exiles may make as many donations as they wish. There are no
refunds on donations.

Donators will also be kept annonymous. If donators wish, they can give
Gurgi have their mailbox address and he will directly send them the
confirmed directions to the foothills when the reward is collected.
The list of mailbox addresses will also be kept confidential of course.

Gurgi will also publish the directions and/or a map to the location for
the general public.

Signed,
Gurgi

#####
RIZAL'S STORY
PRESENTED BY THE WEST FOUNDATION

The West Foundation is still alive and functioning.  Ser Sadraz is
taking a less active role in running the foundation is gradually
turning over the reins to Lady Yazza, who will provide a new energy to
the Foundation.  Lord Bizob of OWE has joined the Board of Directors,
and a sad adieu was said to Lady Polgara, who undertook a large study
project and rarely ventures from the library. Any who are interested in
serving on the board are welcome to join.

The Foundation has had several grantees and would like to acknowledge
them for their good work. Congratulations go to Kelan, Scota, Arteress
Lai, Tyking, Shepherd, Blue, Farhope, Rizal and Scathach. There have
been some who criticized the Foundation for granting Tyking an award.
However, the Foundation is a neutral organization and the primary
criteria for obtaining a grant is the writing of a good tale that tells
us something about the exile and not his political affiliation or moral
direction.

The Foundation records are a bit messy, but Sadraz thinks that the
ladies Farhope, Rizal and Scathach have not yet been given their awards
and requests that they come see her or the Lady Yazza to collect.  The
Foundation still has plenty of money to grant, and new and old exiles
are welcome to submit a story.  New exiles are granted 500 coins and
older, established exiles can receive 300 coins.

What follows is a sample of the stories the West Foundation receives.

Sadraz M'Nako
Knight of the Lily
West Foundation Director

Rizal's Story

I'd like to start by saying that I never imagined that I would be here.
Becoming an exile was just about the most unlikely thing I could have
guessed would happen to me. But I can't change the past, so I will tell
you the story of how I came to Puddleby.

I was born in a town on the western border of the Thoom lands, on the
mainland. We were across the river from a Sylvan town, and we had a lot
of trade and contact with the Sylvans. They were very friendly. Some of
my fondest memories were swimming in the river with my Thoom friends
and the Sylvan children.

My family had a long history of being healers -- both my mother and my
father were healers, they provided medical help at the local clinic,
which served both the Thoom and the Sylvans across the river. I was
named after a great-uncle on my mother's side, he too was a healer who
provided medical assistance to the Halflings and Fen'neko during the
Uli Rebellion. Perhaps my parents gave me his name because they wanted
a boy Thoom. But they got a girl. I didn't have any brothers or
sisters, I was an only Thoom.

We didn't have much contact with the other races -- sometimes some
Dwarves would come to visit, and occasionally a Human patrol of
Ascendancy guards would come through our town as well, but mostly, we
kept to ourselves. As you know, while the Thooms are officially
governed by the Ascendancy, we mostly take care of our own affairs, and
the Ascendancy did not bother us much at all.

Once, an Ascendancy patrol came through our town, and of all things, a
Ghorak Zo soldier was in the patrol. I had heard of them, but of course
I had never seen one until that day. I found them fascinating!  Of
course, being an Ascendancy guard, he was not very friendly and  did
not let us approach him closely, but still, even from a distance,  I
could tell that there was something about the Zo which I wanted to know
more about.

In any event, time flies when you're a young Thoom, and before I knew
it I was applying to medical school. I did not get in to the Thoom
Academy, which is every Thoom's dream, but I did get into a respectable
medical school in Mer d'Syl, which, coincidentally, both of my parents
attended. So I spent two years there, learning the fine  arts of the
medical profession, along with many other Thooms and  Sylvans.

In my second year in the medical school, when I was twenty, it was
announced that there would be a medical exchange program -- with a
Ghorak Zo hospital in Mountain's Reach! Even though I was only a second
year student, and the medical exchanges are usually reserved  for the
fourth year students, I had to apply. I never had the opportunity to
travel when I was younger, and I still had this  fascination with the
Zo. So I applied, and somehow, I was selected! I  was so excited. I
would be spending my third year of medical school in Mountain's Reach,
spreading advanced Thoom medical knowledge to  another race, and
learning more about the Zo than most other Thooms would ever have the
opportunity to learn.

So, that summer as school ended, I made arrangements to travel to
Mountain's Reach. The first part of the journey was with a Dwarven
trading caravan which started in Mer d'Syl and passed through my
hometown, so I had the opportunity to visit my parents. If only I knew
it would probably be the last time I would ever see them!

I spent my time with the caravan providing minor medical assistance for
those bumps and bruises you can get on the road, and helping to care
for the pack animals. The trip was a lot of work, but it was also fun,
as every night, the Dwarves would gather around the campfire and sing
jolly songs and drink beer until they passed out. That may not sound
like much fun, but at the time, it was new and  different for me.

The Dwarves then went to their home of Stonybrook. From there, I had
the opportunity to go to the Human Capital with another caravan, and
then go to Mountain's Reach from there, or I could stay with the first
caravan which was going to make a long trip to the Fen'neko and
Halfling lands, and then visit Mountain's Reach at the end of the
summer. I thought to myself, I have the time, and I may not have a
chance to ever visit the Fen or Halfling lands, so why not take the
scenic route?

So after a few days in Stonybrook, we set off for the Rennod Pass, our
destination being the Fen'neko lands just west of the Sword of the
World mountains. By the time we reached our first Fen'neko town,  it
was almost mid-summer, which, as everyone knows, is one of the high
holidays throughout the Ascendancy. It was here in this town, which I
never knew the name of, that I learned more about the  Ascendancy than
I ever wanted to know.

Before we continue, I just have to say this about the Thooms. We
celebrate all holidays, regardless of their origin. Any excuse for a
party, is what it comes down to. Mid-summer's day was always one of my
favorite holidays, since there was no school or work, and it was always
very hot, but we got to swim in the river all day. I realize now that
the Ascendancy holidays are not always looked upon favorably by
everybody, but since we Thooms never really felt any oppression  from
the Ascendancy, we always treated the Ascendandy holidays like a Thoom
holiday.

And on mid-summer's day of 536, I was in this Fen'neko trading town in
the shadows of the Sword of the World Mountains, and I was expecting,
well, a party. However,the way the Fen'neko celebrated  this "holiday"
was more like a funeral. There was a silent procession  through town,
and everyone in town, as well as any visitors, were required to stand
silently to watch the procession go by. Everyone was quiet, and
everyone had their heads down, even the dwarves. I was thinking to
myself, "This isn't a proper holiday! This place needs some holiday
cheer!" So I tried to lighten things up.

I thoomed.

The effect was not exactly what I had in mind. The procession stopped,
and everyone looked at me. I realized I had made a mistake, but I did
not understand just how badly I had offended my hosts.

Now, I'm not ignorant, and we do study history in our Thoom
universities, so I knew that there were some bad feelings between the
Fen'neko and the Ascendancy. But until you've really spent time in a
place, you just can't understand how the people feel. I realize now
that the silent atmosphere of the Ascendancy's biggest holiday is the
People's traditional way of showing their "respect" for the
Ascendancy. And by breaking the silence and celebrating the holiday,  I
was, in effect, showing support for the Ascendancy.

Never mind that this was not my intention. I tried to apologize, but
the local townsfens wouldn't listen. I have never been so frightened in
my life, with all of the People looking at me with venom in their eyes
-- especially remembering the campfire stories that my friends  and I
used to tell, about the fierce cat-people of the north who like to eat
Thooms. I was taken away by the local authorities and held in a dark
cell for several days. I never saw my friends among the dwarves again.
I only hope they tried to see me but the Fen'neko wouldn't let them. I
guess I'll never know.

A trial was held, and the town elders made the decision to have me
serve the Ascendancy's highest criminal penalty, since in their eyes, I
loved the Ascendancy so much. After another month in the Fen'neko town,
an Ascendancy guard patrol came by to pick up prisoners. The next four
months were a neverending series of dark cells and rides in a locked
wagon to the next cell. Other prisoners,of every race, joined the
caravan along the way. I tried to use my medical knowledge to keep the
other prisoners alive, but some didn't make it, the conditions were too
harsh.

We finally reached the Capital, and after another month in a prison, we
were herded aboard a boat bound for Puddleby. We arrived in the spring
of 537. And that's how I came to be an exile.

As a footnote -- I've been here for two years now, and I have to say
that it's not as bad as I thought it would be. There is a very
pleasant Thoom community here, and they were kind enough to take me in
and almost make me feel like I was at home. I've been fortunate enough
to find a group of Thoom healers who wish to provide Puddleby with the
best medical service, so I've joined ThoomCare, and I spend a lot of
time in the South Forest hospital. And even though I never made it to
Mountain's Reach, I'm still considered the ThoomCare expert on Ghorak
Zo medicine. I've had the opportunity to work with many wonderful Zo
fighters in the South Forest hospital.

And on a personal note -- for a long time after my arrest, I thought I
would never be able to thoom again. Fortunately, with the help and
support of the Thoom community here in Puddleby, I am comfortable
enough to thoom once again.

-Rizal

#####
A VOICE, A BOOK, AND THE MIST KEY
BY INDIGO

Recently, my friend Drenn has been hearing a girl's voice when he
visits Tenebrion's Island. On Day 4 of Winter 541 I joined Drenn on the
island to look for clues to this voice. After some discussion, Drenn's
party and I decided to look in the keep. We went carefully and
methodically. Sadly, we found nothing. We spent some time in
Tenebrion's conference room healing and planning our return trip. As we
tried to leave, we saw that the number of guards outside had increased
dramatically. Our group was quickly fragmented and we fell, scattered
about in the courtyard. Our first impulse was to depart, but then Gurgi
inquired after me. I suggested that we wait to see if Gurgi could come
to us with a speedy rescue.

As we waited for Gurgi's party, Tenebrion stepped into the courtyard.
He asked me if I was the leader of the "raid." I explained it was not a
raid, but a search for something. He asked me what we were looking for,
to which I replied "clues." I am sure I did not please him with this
answer. He began to chain me. Drenn then explained about the voice.
Tenebrion stopped and inquired about the voice. As Drenn explained the
voice, I insisted that he not punish Drenn or his party. I assured
Tenebrion that I was responsible for leading the party into the keep. I
did not want them to suffer.

As he stood there with my body on a chain, Gurgi's party arrived.
Tenebrion fled with into the tower, taking me with him. He took me to
the roof and he stood up there, looking down at the people in the
courtyard. He took out a small sharp knife and looked at me. The
rescuers asked for my release, but of course Tenebrion had the upper
hand. He took me back into the tower then. In Tenebrion's private
chambers we stopped by a book that he seemed very interested in. Almost
distracted. But then he returned his attention to me, taking me to his
private yard.

A most frightening thing happened then. With the knife he tried to open
my head. He cut deeply into my forehead, and searing pain cursed
through my nerves. But before he could finish this act, he seemed to
become nervous, then scared. He stopped cutting and ran. He took my
body to the top of the tower so Morty could collect it, then he
disappeared into hiding. Luckily, Axell's caduceus training spared my
life. I was healed at the very moment Morty took me to the cool storage
room. I allowed myself to heal for some time before I ran for my life
through a gauntlet of guards.

I made it safely to the hut somehow. I don't recall much from the
moments after that, except that my mind was clear about one thing: WE
MUST GET THAT BOOK. There were answers there, significant answers. And
I did not believe for a moment that Tenebrion would ever share those
answers with the general population. And so, with the help of Gurgi and
Elenis, we gathered a force willing to help me in my quest. I cannot
thank enough the 22 exiles that came. They knew our party might be
doomed. They accepted their fate, and with that we entered Tenebrion's
Tower.

In brief, the battle was swift. We fought well and with purpose. We
progressed to the very top floor of the tower, the Orb Room. Once we
were all healed again, we entered the magical floating mist that leads
to Tenebrion's private chamber. We struggled against the powerful
undine abominations that protect that chamber. Again, our forces fought
well and with purpose, and efficiently cleared the room. The holder of
the Mist Key was slain, and Mac picked up the key. Asmodean found the
book that I sought, and he quickly handed it to me. For that I am most
grateful.

Our retreat was equally arduous, yet swift. We decided to use the mist
key and enter the crystal chamber on the west side of the courtyard.
Once inside and secured, we explored as much as we could. We found a
room north of the river with six small crystal obelisks. We also found
a small plot of land with eight graves.

My mind began to ache then, as did my body. I was not able to last any
longer. Rest was imminent, be it there in the mist room, or somewhere
else. I had no choice. And so Gurgi and others helped me back to town
where I fell into an immediate sleep in the library. I wrote this
account as I rest and peruse the book. It is in a language I cannot
decipher. I am determined to find a way to translate it.

Respectfully,
Indigo

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
"Behind the Mystic"

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

There's no baloney for my sammich
Mayonnaise gone bad
Someone drank my sody-pop
And Zorak's feelin' sad
The record player's broken
And I got bubblegum on my shoes
Ain't nothing going right today
Zorak's got the blues
- Zorak the Mantis

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Winged
Snake Sausages with it in the afternoon"
Issue #30: "Writers' Strike"
[February 18, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
   http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Gurgi, for Puddleby Marine Corps:
   http://pmc.puddleby.dk
* Nyssa, for Group FMOCR (Essays on the Full Moon Orga Camp raids can
be found here):
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FMOCR
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tenebrion offers payment for a songwriter at Bard Audition
* Local healer pecked by vultures:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Ouch/
vultureseatpara.gif
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Ouch/
vulturepain.gif
* Bracis is now training followers in the monastery
* Koric joins Clan Rising Claw
* Marfisa the Fen has mysteriously disappeared
* The Beautify Puddleby program has been announced:
   http://ferindril.dhs.org/ferindril/beautify/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* What are the Foothills?
* Mysterious ladder found
* Reluctant exiles finally spill the beans on the Votenkath Dew/Noth
juice story
* Elenis Reyav gets a Sword of Souls
* Malkor nearly set aflame in bonfire accident
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm's art contest
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary/museum.html
* Super-Darshak attack
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Rescue at mid-pass
* A visit to the Old Cemetary
* Increase in Darshak activity
* Rescue in the dangerous Pallidew cave
* Rare pictures of the dreaded Tuz'Noth, Hel'Noth, and Wickedew
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
   http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

The Gubara report:
From Gubara in Agratis
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Mujin-kun, Axia,
Salandra, Felicity, Dandelion."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Amelia, Algernon, Razz,
Chris Rex, Malkor."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_347_14_38 on 77 Autumn, 540 at 15:23..."
Clerus says, "Tarf accused Swami of harrassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 121 minutes in jail, 475c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_347_22_31 on 77 Autumn, 540 at 23:33..."
Clerus says, "Kren'daa accused Leoric III of threatening kalle's
life..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 104 minutes in jail, 967c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_351_23_16 on 82 Autumn, 540 at 0:14..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Malkor of Stealing...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_358_12_02 on 88 Autumn, 540 at 12:38..."
Clerus says, "Swami accused Fundin of having a horrible, horrible
fashion sense...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 258 minutes in jail, 760c fine
and 0 days banished."

#####
EDITORIAL
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

From the Editor's Desk:
Fishwrap's writers have been on strike for the past couple of weeks.
We've had almost no new submissions, and as a result, nothing to print.
I've pulled together a few things for this issue, and hope the labor
dispute is settled soon. I'm not sure what their demands are, but they
can't have more of my fish.

I hear that a well-known clan has discovered a new area, but it seems
they are reluctant to speak about this.  Fishwrap hereby offers them a
place for a feature article if they are willing to tell us of their
discoveries. It would be a shame if their accomplishment were to go
unknown by others.

ThoomCare has been asked to form an investigative panel to look into
two related questions:
1) Have exiles in Puddleby been under the influence of mind-controlling
dews?
2) Has healer Tessa, in her capacity as a physician for the Puddleby
Navy, exceeded or abused her authority in trying to examine certain
Navy members for dew-infestation?
ThoomCare is assembling the panel now and we are awaiting Tessa's
report on her research.

The ThoomCare Media Network has recently opened a new feature for
exiles seeking the latest news in Puddleby.  "Fishmonger News Kiosk" is
a list of links to frequently updated news sources.
You can find Fishmonger here:
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

Manx's portrait raffle has been completed, and the finished artwork is
now available for viewing.
   http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/luminary.html

-Para

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 140 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
KATNAPPED!
BY FURRALDO RUBERA

(Editor's Note: Due to the writers' strike, this exile has asked to
remain anonymous so as not to be beaten by others. -Para)

Hearts of Tan clan leader "Kamikazi" Karkras has been missing for
almost two zodiacs and is believed to have been abducted. Clan members
Athala and Balm have found what appear to be signs of a struggle in the
skinning section of the advanced library where the Fen was last seen.

Balm, an ex-sailor in the Thoom Navy, relates his tale of discovery;

"I were a-driftin' through the library when off to starboard I spys
Karkras' shield. "Avast!," sez I, "Thar be a sign of foul weather!" So
I hoist 'er aboard and sail over to the clan meetin' to show 'er to me
mates."

Athala, a pacifist healer and devout follower of Gaia, found a crusty
scab of "orga mange" in the same area of library.

"It was sooo gross, I just couldn't touch it! I had to borrow a pair of
long wooden tongs to pick it up! Ummm... Would you like to see it?"

This reporter respectfully declined.

Initially some members of the clan suspected that the abduction was the
work of Tenebrion. However, Tenebrion has stated that neither he nor
his brothers are involved with Karkras* disappearance. No ransom demand
has been forthcoming.

Confidential sources state that Karkras' background is mysterious and
somehow connected to Fire Island. He was known to explore this
dangerous region obsessively for clues to his clouded past.

Upon hearing of Karkras' disappearance the clan immediately conducted a
massive manhunt on Fire Island.  Clan members say the hunt was hastily
organized and, predictably, the effort stumbled and fell in short
order.  In the end however, the Tans were able to rescue their own
without the aid of an outside army.

Rugur "the Cougar", one of the clan's four remaining council members,
was interviewed at Cairo's pub in South Puddleby. Instead of making a
plea for public assistance, Rugur growled, "We don't need no outsiders
snoopin' around. We Tanhearts take care of our own. This is personal."
When asked how a newbie mob like the "Hearts of Tan" expected to solve
this mystery all by themselves the surly Fen snarled, "Read our
scrolls, Pencil-Neck!" and rudely pushed this reporter out of the pub.

At their cozy Fen'neko den located on the outskirts of Puddleby,
Karkras' wife Nettle gently touched a braided necklace of dark red fur
as she told of her missing husband.

"He was so uneasy lately.  He kept having nightmares about tunneling
out of a dungeon. Then one night he didn't come home for his favorite
dinner." Although still young, strong, and attractive, Nettle suddenly
looked as if eight of her lives had been stripped away.

"I told him to be careful, but that's just not his way." Nettle's ears
drooped forlornly and her large eyes welled up with tears. The
interview could not continue.

#####
PROBLEMS IN PURGATORY
BY J'JH

(Editor's Note: J'jh recently posted these notes about pendants in town
square. I scribbled them down and present them here for my readers. -
Para)

2/10/01 2:49:51a • Your purgatory pendant vibrates.
2/10/01 2:50:04a Galadriel thinks, "anyone else pendant just vibrate?"
2/10/01 2:51:40a Galadriel thinks to you, ""• Your purgatory pendant
vibrates." that ever happen to you?"
2/10/01 2:52:11a You think to Galadriel, "wow! no, only flickers
sometime"
2/10/01 2:53:40a J'jh says, "Hi, Galadriel (-:"
2/10/01 2:53:41a Galadriel thinks, "Sir Tenebrion, I would be pleased
if you left the bonds of my pendant to purgatory well enough alone!"
2/10/01 2:53:51a Galadriel says, "Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am
conducting some minor research. The vibrations you felt were a
strengthening of the bonds your pendant has to purgatory.""
2/10/01 2:53:57a Thuja says, "Nothing unusual in purg"
2/10/01 2:53:57a Galadriel says, "The vibrations you felt were a
strengthening of the bonds your pendant has to purgatory.""
2/10/01 2:54:09a Galadriel says, "hmmm"
2/10/01 2:54:14a Galadriel says, "most unusual"
2/10/01 2:54:19a J'jh ponders, "strengthening he?"
2/10/01 2:54:25a Tenebrion thinks, "I am repairing the damage caused by
the unknown force."
2/10/01 2:54:36a J'jh ponders, "do we beleive that?"
2/10/01 2:54:48a Galadriel says, "ummm, no"
2/10/01 2:54:56a J'jh asks, "i try?"
2/10/01 2:54:59a You equip your Purgatory pendant.
2/10/01 2:55:03a J'jh attempts to project into another plane.
2/10/01 2:55:09a J'jh says, "nothing"
2/10/01 2:55:14a • Your pendant binds you more tightly to this plane
while you wear it.
2/10/01 2:55:51a You think to Galadriel, "where were you when you used
it?"
2/10/01 2:56:26a Galadriel thinks to you, "s of scout, and I did not
use it at all, just wearing it"
2/10/01 2:56:39a You think to Galadriel, "really!?"
2/10/01 2:57:29a You think to Galadriel, "ack, now i see it, mine did
too! wasnt even equipped!"
2/10/01 3:00:11a You think to Tenebrion, "does my pendant NEED a
stronger bond with purg?"
2/10/01 3:01:05a You think to Tenebrion, "or, rephrasing the question,
can it be bonded to another plane?"
2/10/01 3:01:42a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Exactly the nature of my
research. I am endeavoring to determine precisely that question."
2/10/01 3:03:25a You think to Tenebrion, "i am in purge now, could that
help your research?"
2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:07:06a You think to Tenebrion, "what was that? didnt seem
very  scholar like..."
2/10/01 3:07:42a Tenebrion thinks to you, "What was what?"
2/10/01 3:07:50a You think to Tenebrion, "2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel
the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end."
2/10/01 3:08:21a You think to Tenebrion, "that wasnt you?"
2/10/01 3:08:43a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am manipulating my own
pendant."
2/10/01 3:09:15a You think to Tenebrion, "so no idea what caused that
strange message?"
2/10/01 3:09:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Message?"
2/10/01 3:10:22a You think to Tenebrion, "heh come on! I repeat the
message :2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck
stand on end."
2/10/01 3:10:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Interesting. Are you still
in purgatory?"
2/10/01 3:11:03a You think to Tenebrion, "yes..."
2/10/01 3:11:13a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Do you feel it when I do
this?"
2/10/01 3:11:28a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:11:43a You think to Tenebrion, "yes! same message!"
2/10/01 3:11:58a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Fascinating."
2/10/01 3:12:17a You think to Tenebrion, "/ponder you can say that
again.."
2/10/01 3:13:41a You think to Tenebrion, "your pendants dont break
anymore?"
2/10/01 3:14:04a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have one which has so far
remained unbroken."
2/10/01 3:14:39a You think to Tenebrion, "hmm.. and can you project
yourself to purg?"
2/10/01 3:14:52a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have not tried."
2/10/01 3:15:13a You think to Tenebrion, "please do (-:"
2/10/01 3:15:55a You think to Tenebrion, "and what else can you do with
it?"
2/10/01 3:16:28a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am trying to detach it
from purgatory and direct it to allow me to travel elsewhere."
2/10/01 3:16:57a You think to Tenebrion, "Now that is something i would
be very interested in (-:"
2/10/01 3:18:27a You think to Tenebrion, "and what did you do to raise
the hairs in my neck? hehe (-:"
2/10/01 3:19:12a You think to Tenebrion, "ok. lets get seriuos, what
can i do to help your reseach?"
2/10/01 3:19:26a Tenebrion thinks to you, "When I bring the pendant
close to an object I have in my possession it seems to create some
reaction."
2/10/01 3:20:15a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. what object would that
be?"
2/10/01 3:20:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The more pendants I have to
work with the more research I can undertake."
2/10/01 3:21:04a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:21:09a Tenebrion thinks to you, "This object."
2/10/01 3:21:33a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. thats not the kind of
answer i was waitin for........yeah that did it again (-:"
2/10/01 3:22:29a You think to Tenebrion, "ok maybe you can help me with
this.. i got 12 crystal parts..."
2/10/01 3:22:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The crystals have nothing to
do with it. You should not have them. They are dangerous."
2/10/01 3:23:55a You think to Tenebrion, "in the locker rooms so they
dont vanish...is there anything to do with them without danger?"
2/10/01 3:25:19a You think to Tenebrion, "and what is that danger?"
2/10/01 3:27:08a You think to Tenebrion, "i planned to give them to 11
others and 'use' them at the same time...."
2/10/01 3:27:38a You think to Tenebrion, "or... take all 12 of them to
purge..."
2/10/01 3:27:53a •The Sun rises.
2/10/01 3:27:59a You think to Tenebrion, "you think there are dangers
there?"
2/10/01 3:38:02a You think to Tenebrion, "plan was to take 11 others
(clanmates) to the lockers and give them all 1 part, then all use it.."
2/10/01 3:44:53a Tenebrion thinks to you, "More pendants will assist me
in discovering a means to redirect the location to which they open."
2/10/01 3:46:39a You think to Tenebrion, "so you think the pendant can
be used for other planes.... the logical question is, what other planes
are there?"
2/10/01 3:47:04a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The one which interests me
the most is the ethereal plane."
2/10/01 3:47:43a Tenebrion thinks to you, "A small journey there can
result in a huge distance on this plane."
2/10/01 3:48:51a You think to Tenebrion, "ah.. that sounds interesting!
maybe you can try to project ME to that plane?"
2/10/01 3:52:48a You think to Tenebrion, "or...is there anything i can
try to project me to that plane?"
2/10/01 3:58:07a You think to Tenebrion, "dont fall asleep (-:"
2/10/01 3:58:07a You concentrate on sending your message to Tenebrion.
2/10/01 3:58:30a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I had to mediate to consider
a problem."
2/10/01 3:59:07a You think to Tenebrion, "(-:    you got my last 2
questions?"
2/10/01 3:59:37a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Which were?"
2/10/01 4:00:42a You think to Tenebrion, "1: "ah.. that sounds
interesting! maybe you can try to project ME to that plane?" 2:
"or...is there anything i can try to project me to that plane?""
2/10/01 4:01:17a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have a private entrance. I
believe there are other entrances which may be found."
2/10/01 4:02:19a You think to Tenebrion, "??? entrances? entrance to
what?"
2/10/01 4:02:38a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The ethereal plane."
2/10/01 4:03:59a You think to Tenebrion, "ahhhh.... a private
entrance... not using the pendant for that?"
2/10/01 4:04:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "My entrance is fixed on both
this plane and on the ethereal plane."
2/10/01 4:04:48a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.."
2/10/01 4:05:22a You think to Tenebrion, "and how does the pendant fit
in this?"
2/10/01 4:05:22a You concentrate on sending your message to Tenebrion.
2/10/01 4:05:55a Tenebrion thinks to you, "In centuries of research the
pendant is the first artifact I have found that provides a portable
portal."
2/10/01 4:06:11a Tenebrion thinks to you, "You may open a portal from
anywhere!"
2/10/01 4:07:10a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Imagine a device which you
could use to travel to anywhere on the ethereal plane, and from there
to anywhere on this plane!"
2/10/01 4:07:58a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. that realy sounds great!
isnt it called a purg pendant for some reason?"
2/10/01 4:08:47a You think to Tenebrion, "healers would really love it!
(-:"
2/10/01 4:08:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "It is difficult to determine
how they work, but I believe they can be detached from purgatory."
2/10/01 4:09:20a You think to Tenebrion, "wow! that would really be
great!"
2/10/01 4:09:44a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Did you feel that!?"
2/10/01 4:10:03a Tenebrion thinks, "Did any other pendant holders feel
that force?"
2/10/01 4:10:23a You think to Tenebrion, "hmm..  i dont think so?...."
2/10/01 4:10:41a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The unknown force has
returned. I must hide."
2/10/01 4:11:11a You think to Tenebrion, "???? i didnt notice
anything?"
2/10/01 4:11:12a Tenebrion is not in the lands.

#####
LETTER FROM CHARLOS

(Editor's Note: Like other Fishwrap writers, Charlos has been
faithfully adhering to the writers' strike. Fortunately, this letter to
his fellow exiles fell out of his knapsack the other day, and I was
able to grab it and rush it to my printing press before he found out.
He's banging on the front door now, but I'm sure he'll go away
eventually. -Para)

'lo bruddas and sistahs,

	 I began interviewing exiles and investigating scrolls concerning
the Nox Sorora some zodiacs ago with a bias, determined to find evil.
Instead I found the likes of Indigo and others like her who have proven
themselves to be valuable members of the community. Although there are
those few idiots (as there must be in every organization), they are, by
and large, a decent bunch. The only glaring example of the possibility
of evil intent which I could find was Lilit.
	 Most of my feelings concerning Lilit are based on personal
interactions with her and various dunces operating under her influence.
These imbeciles, without any individual personality or clue as to their
place in the world, latched on to her deranged delusions to give
themselves a purpose. Sad though these dorks may be, floundering about
the cavern, they, and she as well, are relatively innocuous. However
harmless she may seem, the position taken by the Nox Sorora in regards
to Lilit, albeit moot due to her absence from the lands, forbids me
from taking any steps to ally myself with or befriend them as an
organization.
	 These are my personal views and sentiments established from my own
experience in exile and the biased and slanted teachings of my Uncle
Dizzle. For quite some time now, I have let my individual conceptions
of right and wrong overcome my duty to my clan and responsibility to my
clan brethren. I have been a hypocritical fool and have made an ass of
myself once again. The way of the Elephant is sometimes blundering and
oblivious (especially after a few kegs of beer), stomping even those
dearest underfoot with insensitivity. Equally representative of the
Great and Noble Elephant is the quality of tolerance and objectivity,
which I have recently failed to embody.
	 In regards to those who embrace the Nox Sorora as your true
calling, I give you the benefit of the doubt.  For those who stand
against the followers of Night, I offer you a comrade in arms should
the need arise. In particular I would address those who care not for
this issue but who have been drawn into the conflict by the stubborn
and unseeing: I'm sorry.

Charlos

#####
FISHWRAP CLASSIC
YESTERDAY'S NEWS TODAY: CRIPPLER INTERVIEWS MI'SEIL AND CLAM CHOWDER

(In the search for something new to print during this writers' strike,
I got down on all 4 flippers and shuffled through the papers and
whatnot on the floor underneath my desk. The good news is that I found
an unpublished submission by Crippler. The bad news is that it's rather
old (last I heard, Clam Chowder vanished some time ago) and also some
parts were unreadable due to rips or stains in the paper. Still, news
is news! -Para)

Mi'seil says in Thoom, "we were just having some dinner."
Clam Chowder exclaims in Thoom, "Thoom!"
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "hi Crippler"
Clam Chowder asks in Thoom, "What's this interview for?"
Clam Chowder is a Thoom, is female, is a Healer, and is not wearing the
symbol of any clan.
She is holding a moonstone.
(Around her neck is a necklace made of small clam shells.)
Mi'seil says in Thoom, "It's for fishwrap magazine."
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "Magazine, ok"
Mi'seil says in Thoom, "well first I'd like to announce that I'm
engaged."
Crippler says, "lets see"
(Clam Chowder shows Crippler her ring)
Crippler says, "oh cool"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler asks, "you like it?"
Clam Chowder exclaims in Thoom, "Yes, very much so!"
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "He say it's magical too.."
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "Has a baby moonstone in it."
Crippler says, "I got Anya one some time ago"
Crippler says, "before she was 2nd circle"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler says, "she likes it now"
Clam Chowder says, "I hope to be 2nd circle soon"
Crippler says, "that she has trained in it"

(unreadable due to tartar sauce stain)

Clam Chowder says, "But the giant ones just keep getting to me
first..."
Crippler says, "aye"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler says, "they bite hard"
Clam Chowder says, "People loan me shield when I try, that helps too."
Crippler says, "aye"
Mi'seil says, "I'll loan you anything you need."
Clam Chowder ponders, "I'm gunna need full body armour next time!"
Crippler says, "lets talk about how you two first met"
Mi'seil says, "well"
Clam Chowder says, "I remember it"
Mi'seil asks, "you go first?"
Clam Chowder says, "I was sitting in the garden just south of town
square"
Clam Chowder says, "Talking to Malkor and Snow and a bunch of people."
Clam Chowder says, "I can't remember them all.."
Clam Chowder says, "Then Mi'seil talked to me too"
Clam Chowder says, "And he offered me some fish oil"
Crippler asks, "so you had just arrived on the island at the time?"
Clam Chowder says, "I drank about three glasses..."
Clam Chowder says, "Well, I had been on the island for two days I
think."
(Crippler nods)
Clam Chowder says, "Maybe less, maybe more."
Mi'seil says, "I felt bad that she didn't even have a warm place to
sleep."
Clam Chowder says, "I don't remember if I still had the grey clothes or
not."
Crippler says, "yea, those tend to fade"
(Clam Chowder nods)
Clam Chowder says, "He offered me his guest house when I had to go"
Crippler says, "must have been confusing for you when you got here"
Clam Chowder says, "yes yes, very"
Crippler asks, "besides Mi'seil who else helped show you around?"
Clam Chowder says, "I still don't know alot about many things"
Clam Chowder says, "Snow was a big help before I met Mi'seil"
Clam Chowder says, "And two big Zo's, I don't remember their names."
(Crippler nods)
Mi'seil says, "She cooks good food."

(rip in the paper makes text unreadable here)

Clam Chowder says, "Not really, just clam chowder"
Crippler asks, "So what made you decide to learn the art of healing?"
Clam Chowder says, "Well, when I first got here i was housed in
Agratis..."
Clam Chowder says, "There is where I picked up healing"
Clam Chowder says, "I had no interest in being a fighter.."
Clam Chowder says, "And people say mystic is too hard, I was up to the
challenge but many discouraged me from that."
Clam Chowder exclaims, "So here I am!"
Clam Chowder says, "A very slow healer :)"
Mi'seil says, "I discouraged her."
Crippler asks, "why was that?"
Clam Chowder says, "Not you, other people even before I met you"
Clam Chowder says, "I was asking alot of people what a mystic was"
Chef Haricot says, "My nephew, you know, he hatches the grand schemes."
Clam Chowder says, "They didn't really give me a straight answer, they
just kept saying, "No, no no no don't be a mystic no no mystics suck!""
(Crippler laughs)
Mi'seil says, "because I don't want to have to compete with her."
Clam Chowder says, "Malkor was one of them I think"
Crippler says, "heh"
Crippler says, "aye"
Crippler says, "Malkor is insane"
Clam Chowder says, "Well.."
Clam Chowder says, "umm.."
Clam Chowder says, "No comment."
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Crippler says, "good idea"
Mi'seil says, "Master Malkor is a fine man."
Crippler says, "yes he is"

(hole in the text here from a giant vermine bite)

Mi'seil says, "…"
Crippler says, "very helpfull"
Mi'seil says, "I think I'll agree with her."
Clam Chowder says, "Besides the fact he told me alot of bad things
about Mi'seil, I think he was just looking out for me."
Clam Chowder says, "His heart was in the right place.. but his head was
somewhere else.."
Mi'seil asks, "what did he tell you about me?"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "Where I do not know!"
Clam Chowder says, "umm"
Clam Chowder says, "uhhh"
(Mi'seil flutters unhappily.)
Clam Chowder says, "No comment."
Crippler asks, "So what did you think of Mi'seil after meeting him?"
Clam Chowder says, "Well..."
Clam Chowder says, "hehe"
(Clam Chowder thinks)
Clam Chowder says, "He was nice, and sweet.."
Mi'seil says, "don't worry I won't pay attention to what you say too
much."
Clam Chowder says, "But I think he felt that everything he did was
wrong"
Clam Chowder says, "It made me feel uneasy"
Crippler says, "hmmm"
Clam Chowder says, "Like if I did something to upset him he would
explode"
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Crippler says, "oh my"
Crippler exclaims, "!"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "But I think he was just as nervous as I was!"
Crippler asks, "tell me about your first date?"
(Clam Chowder lets Mi'seil talk)
(Clam Chowder sips on her clam juice.)
Mi'seil says, "well I think we went to smugglers rest."
Clam Chowder says, "We had trouble getting there though"
Mi'seil says, "I tried to kiss her and I think I almost got dumped."
Clam Chowder says, "He said to me that he wanted to show me a pretty
beach"
Clam Chowder says, "On the way there he fell and I got lost chased by
vermines and lobsters"
Clam Chowder says, "I was real scared"
Clam Chowder says, "I even saw this giant lobster"
Mi'seil exclaims, "I fell a lot!"
Clam Chowder says, "He told me to look for a boat but I could not find
it"
Mi'seil says, "and I though she might make fun of me."
Clam Chowder asks, "Why?"
Clam Chowder shows her sylphstone ring to everyone.
Crippler asks, "But you both made it there ok?"
Clam Chowder says, "ummmm"
Mi'seil says, "well I fell a lot"
Clam Chowder says, "Well eventually yes"
Mi'seil says, "and I had to be healed."
Mi'seil says, "and I kept hoping she wouldn't laugh."
Clam Chowder says, "But when we got there, it was almost as dangerouse
as getting there"
Clam Chowder says, "A big giant wave crashed into us"
Clam Chowder says, "Thoom"
Mi'seil says, "that parts actually wasn't my fault."
Crippler asks, "So whats next for you two?"
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Clam Chowder says, "Well I think we get married when he plans a date
and stuff :)"
Crippler exclaims, "oh !"
(Clam Chowder sips on her clam juice.)
Crippler asks, "what kind of weeding are you gonna have?"
Mi'seil asks, "huh?"
Crippler asks, "what kind of weding are you gonna have?"
Clam Chowder says, "Whatever kind he wants"
Mi'seil asks, "date? I thought we just went on one?"
(Mi'seil thinks for a moment)
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Mi'seil says, "oh yes a wedding date"
Clam Chowder says, "nono silly, a date for the wedding"
Mi'seil says, "umm"
Crippler asks, "Is it gonna be a large ceremony?"
Clam Chowder says, "If he wants one"
Mi'seil ponders, "suddenly all the pressure is on me."
Clam Chowder says, "I want to invite all my friends, I don't have many
but I hope they can come."
Mi'seil says, "if it was up to me we'd elope because thats easier to
plan, but friends are nice."
Crippler says, "I'm sure you can come up with some guest"
Clam Chowder says, "I not sure how the wedding stuff works, so I leave
it up to him"
Crippler says, "Aye, i had a wedding planed but wound up eloping"
Mi'seil says, "the papers cost 50 coins a person."
Crippler says, "anyway"
Clam Chowder ponders, "I always wanted to know what its like in a bride
gown"

(text blurred from lemon juice spill)

Clam Chowder asks, "Its strange, people keep asking me if I am Boston..
who is Boston?"
Mi'seil says, "I think they are just drunk."
Clam Chowder says, "oh"
Crippler says, "maybe its another island"
Clam Chowder says, "I had one guy come up to me thinking I was a 3rd
circler"
Crippler asks, "what did he ask?"
Clam Chowder says, "It's strange here"
Clam Chowder says, "was the other day"
Clam Chowder says, "I was just about to go take my test"
Clam Chowder says, "He asked if I was taking 4th circle test"
Clam Chowder says, "I told him I was only 1st circle"
Mi'seil exclaims, "I have good news!"
Crippler says, "whats that Mi'seil"
Mi'seil says, "well I kissed her for the second time today and this
time she didn't make a face."
Clam Chowder says, "I never made a face before"
Crippler exclaims, "great!"
Clam Chowder ponders, "Did I?"
Crippler says, "that's progress"
Clam Chowder says, "No no hes got it all backwards"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "I kissed him today!"
Clam Chowder says, "First, anyway"
Mi'seil says, "the first time I kissed you I thought I was getting
dumped."
Clam Chowder says, "Well I was still confused then"
Mi'seil says, "but I love you and I will do anything for you."
(Clam Chowder smiles)
(Crippler): How sweet
Clam Chowder says, "He's always this sweet"
Crippler says, "I wish you two the best of luck"
Clam Chowder says, "He holds doors open and everything"
Crippler says, "and keep us posted on the wedding date"
Clam Chowder says, "I tell him he don't got to do all that"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "Ok Crippler!"
Crippler says, "Mi'seil is a fine thoom"
Clam Chowder says, "I agree"
Crippler says, "you're very lucky"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Mi'seil says, "Good-day."
Clam Chowder says, "I hope we answered all your questions"
Mi'seil says, "Thank you, I know I am with her around."
Crippler says, "bye"
(Clam Chowder waves)
(Crippler waves in a thoomy manner.)

#####
LESSER ASTRAL DRAKE STALKING PURGATORY
BY ALTHEA THE SYLVAN

(Editor's Note: Althea slipped this under my door just before this
issue went to press, so perhaps the strike is over. -Para)

About a zodiac ago, I was in town, feeling rather bored.

The mystics began to chatter on the sunstone about a strange emanation
coming from purgatory. Having nothing better to do, I decided to go
investigate. I went to the west beach, threw myself into the surf and
fell. I shared a few of the mystics and departed.

I popped into purgatory and at first glance it seemed normal. My
troilus training allowed me to heal up a bit.  Then I heard the sizzle
and crack of lightning and I fell to a bolt of white.  The mystics
began to speak of Althea falling to lightning in purgatory. So I
departed once more and again, the sizzle and I fell. As I lay fallen, I
looked about and suddenly, to the north of me, I saw it!

It moved slowly... flapping its blue grey- leathery wings, turning its
preternatural head first one way, then the other, as it continued to
hunt for prey. It was approximately 1/3 to 1/2 the size of a Forest
Drake and much more primitive in appearance. It paused above me, and I
could see a cold gleam in its dark eye as it considered me. I lay very
still and it moved on its way then, out of my line of sight.

Suddenly, I heard the sizzle again, and cry of Johan as he fell
somewhere out of my sight.

Grasping my sword, I departed once more and suddenly there it was next
to me! Although I was dangously low on health I swung a blow at it,
striking into its rear leg. It gave a cry and each blow resounded with
a sizzle of lightning, tho' I was not struck. It tried to move away
from me, but I followed, landing a second and third blow.  Grasping my
sword with both hands, I landed the last blow and slaughtered the
Lesser Astral Drake.

I yelled for Johan, and found him.  Axell then came into Purgatory to
help him out. We were talking about the goings on -- as I had recently
experienced the bad feelings of a number of exiles, I was able to move
about purgatory freely without popping into the temple. Axell left
purgatory, and Johan and I continued to chat. As we were talking, a
great wave of energy passed through our bodies  We were marvelling at
that when suddenly, we all fell dead.

Mystics reported that purgatory had just released a great wave of
energy. I assume that was what felled us without a sound. After being
healed again by the vigilant Axell, we looked about for a bit. Spying
no more strange beings in purgatory, we left for the temple.

I shudder to consider if the Lesser Astral Drake has a bigger cousin. I
write this so that all exiles may be vigilant.

Day 90 of Autumn, Year 540.
Althea of Redwood
Fightergrrl, Pogue Mahone

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
"Behind the Mystic"

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Prue, Slyph, Tuan, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"I say 'Sssss!' in the morning,
'Sssss!' in the afternoon.
Yes, I do, to all my snake friends."
- Sammy the Snake (he looks and sounds just like the letter "S")

Fishwrap's editor has run painfully short on submissions.

In fact, he's out.  Last issue, he had to generate nearly all the
content himself.  That's not good for what should be a diverse
magazine.

If you've had stuff in Fishwrap in the past, please think about
preparing something for the next issue.

If you have never submitted something, please consider it.  Email me
with questions, if you have some (it's probably best to contact me
before you write something).

Para

Some of you may have had trouble getting the news links to pictures to
work in the last issue.  If so, try these:

THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tenebrion sends his troops out for "military exercises"
* Tenebrion has dissolved his ties to Tyking II
* Tenebrion has removed the bounty from Malkor
* Tinderboxes available in east farms
* New North Towers in town
* Sutai organizes the first Puddleby Fitness Run
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/fitnessrun.gif
* Hospital attacked by Dews and Troolkin
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/hospitalassault.gif
* Meeting Hall in south Puddleby is officially open
* Amrosar the Zo leaves Puddleby
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/amrosarleaves.gif
* Trainer for Noth/Dew Juice still not discovered
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/pallidewjuice.gif
* Vata the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/vatajoinsclan.gif
* Rescue on Devil's Island goes horribly wrong for a local healer
   http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/verminehack.gif
* ThoomCare member Ducktape becomes 3rd circle healer
* ThoomCare member Brage becomes 3rd circle healer

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Orga Camp raid fails; Orga Magician has developed some sort of
illusion shield
* Fire Drake battle
* Exclusive pictures of the forging of a Bloodblade
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

Para

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover
Chocolate Bear with it in the afternoon"
Issue #29: "Spriggins and Witches"
[January 28, 2001]
Circulation: 140

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Zorton's Complete Guide to Sunstone Tuning:
   <http://members.aol.com/zortoncl/sstuning.html>
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
   <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/>
* Mac-arena the Zo:
   <http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/>
* Thorstorm the Zo:
   <http://www.risingclaw.com/members/thorstorm.html>
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
   <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* The Sundragon Clan:
   <http://www.sundragonclan.com>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tenebrion sends his troops out for "military exercises"
* Tenebrion has dissolved his ties to Tyking II
* Tenebrion has removed the bounty from Malkor
* Tinderboxes available in east farms
* New North Towers in town
* Sutai organizes the first Puddleby Fitness Run
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/fitnessrun.gif>
* Hospital attacked by Dews and Troolkin
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/hospitalassault.gif>
* Meeting Hall in south Puddleby is officially open
* Amrosar the Zo leaves Puddleby
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/amrosarleaves.gif>
* Trainer for Noth/Dew Juice still not discovered
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/pallidewjuice.gif>
* Vata the Thoom has joined ThoomCare
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/vatajoinsclan.gif>
* Rescue on Devil's Island goes horribly wrong for a local healer
   <http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/verminehack.gif>
* ThoomCare member Ducktape becomes 3rd circle healer
* ThoomCare member Brage becomes 3rd circle healer

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Orga Camp raid fails; Orga Magician has developed some sort of
illusion shield
* Fire Drake battle
* Exclusive pictures of the forging of a Bloodblade
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
NEWS FEATURES

From the Fen News Bureau:
Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery Suffers Setbacks
The Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery has suffered two blows to their unique
identity in the past few days. The first one was the sudden
disappearance of Sensei Ja1chan, who was responsible for the teaching
of bare-handed fighting and was located in the heart of the monastery.
Amon Yret reports that  Sensei Ja1chan could not uphold the standards
of our fine institution and has left in a bit of disgrace. For all
exiles currently training under his tutelage, I recommend stopping
immediately and seeking an alternative trainer  until a replacement can
be found. The second shocking news was the  disintegration of the
cloaks that are rented from Town Hall. My own cloak has disintegrated
and I saw Sutai1s cloak fall apart right before my eyes. All monks are
requested to wear cloaks to show unity and now it is rather hard to
tell who is a monk. Hopefully, both of these setbacks to the Puddleby-
Kiramu Monastery will be corrected before too long.
-Jeanne

The Gubara report:
From Gubara in Agratis
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Bizob, Aki, Axia, Isis,
Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: HaL, Eek, FourWinged,
Bigfat, Aki."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_265_23_44 on 86 Summer, 540 at 0:36..."
Clerus says, "Tarf accused Xepel of arson..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_269_15_22 on 89 Summer, 540 at 16:16..."
Clerus says, "Mr Pudding accused E'vile of being an immature newbie who
is asking for jailtime..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 125 minutes in jail, 785c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_273_10_48 on 3 Autumn, 540 at 11:19..."
Clerus says, "Upsie accused Tenebrion of terrorizing Puddleby and
murder..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable.  Your ad will be read by well
over 140 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
MALKOR: THE INTERVIEW

(Paramedic looks at Malkor)
Malkor ponders, "Do I owe him coins?"
(Malkor smiles meekly.)
(Paramedic looks at Malkor)
Paramedic says, "Malkor, some readers of the Fishwrap have been
requesting a feature interview with you."
Soulmaster exclaims, "don't do it Malkor!"
Malkor says, "Why me? I'm not very interesting."
Luminary ponders, "ooh! A live Fishwrap interview!"
Paramedic says, "Some exiles are quite intrigued."
Malkor says, "Hrm.""
Malkor asks, "Why don't you interview Luminary?"
Soulmaster exclaims, "or you could interview me!"
Luminary says, "Yeah...I'll dish dirt on Malkie..."
Malkor says, "I know I'd read one with her."
Soulmaster exclaims, "I'm an interesting thing!"
(Paramedic shows Malkor the list of requests with Malkor on top)"
Luminary says, "C'mon Malkor...it's just five questions."
Paramedic asks, "So are you ready for the Malkor interview?"
(Org du Lac wonders whether Paramedic will end up interviewing anyone.)
(Paramedic wonders too.)
(Org du Lac takes a seat.)
Malkor says, "Prolly not, but go right ahead."
Org du Lac ponders, "Thoom"
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
(Sleipnir watches and listens with interest)
Paramedic asks, "1) So, how are your relations with the Spriggins these
days?"
(Malkor sighs.)
(Paramedic listens)
(Sleipnir listens too)
Malkor says, "We get along swell, I suppose, but people keep
interrupting our get-togethers."
Sleipnir asks, "No sparkling wit, Malkor?"
(Malkor glares at Sleipnir.)
Org du Lac exclaims, "Xepel was seen eating spriggins himself a couple
days ago!"
Soulmaster says, "I hope that wasn't a pun, Sleipnir"
Paramedic asks, "Does it bother you when people kill Spriggins?"
Org du Lac exclaims, "And right in town square!"
Luminary ponders, "ugh. The spirit of Kodo has taken over Sir Sleipnir"
Malkor says, "Well, only the ones who owe me coins."
Paramedic asks, "Do you consider yourself a Spriggin, or just someone
close to them?"
Malkor says, "Me? Of course I'm a spriggin."
(Sleipnir scoffs quietly)
(Malkor twirls his spriggin stick confidently.)
(Paramedic nods)
(Malkor waves to his friend.)
Eating spriggin bits makes Malkor a little jumpy.
Paramedic asks, "So you just consider yourself a large spriggin?"
Malkor says, "Right. For some reason they don't like to eat as much as
I do."
Paramedic says, "Hmm. That makes sense."
Malkor exclaims, "See, that's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking
about!"
V'ree asks, "What?"
(Malkor points at Sleipnir.)
Paramedic asks, "That they killed that Spriggin?"
(V'ree was trying to help it escape)
Sleipnir says, "Spriggens are thieves, liars, and cheats."
Malkor says, "That oaf Sleipnir."
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
(Malkor points to the corpse.)
Paramedic says, "Maybe we should move to a new topic."
V'ree exclaims, "But it did not do anything to you, nor was it hurting
anything!"
(Sleipnir kills any spriggin he can catch)
Sleipnir says, "True, V'ree. It be a most unfair world."
Malkor says, "Him and his kind feel a need to compensate for their own
inadequacies by beating up poor li'l spriggins."
Malkor asks, "Did I mention only ugly people kill spriggins?"
Paramedic says, "No you didn't"
Sleipnir says, "I feel a need to beat up thieves and cheats."
(Malkor makes a high-pitched snarl.)
Sleipnir says, "Continue with the interview, I pray ye."
(Paramedic tries to settle Malkor down a bit)
Sleipnir says, "It be most entertaining."
V'ree says, "That would give everyone else the right to beat up
bullies, which would be for the most part, you Sleipnir"
Paramedic asks, "2) What do you say about the rumors you stole a sword
from Tenebrion?"
V'ree ponders, "he stole a sword of souls. No denying it"
Malkor asks, "Stole a sword?"
Paramedic says, "Or something"
Malkor says, "Yes, I suppose some people would call it "stealing."…"
Sleipnir ponders, "As I said. Spriggins are thieves."
(Malkor grumbles.)
Paramedic says, "Tell us your side of the story"
Sleipnir asks, "Do we wish to hear it, Paramedic?"
Malkor says, "I'm just doing what I know is right."
Paramedic says, "Yes we do."
Paramedic asks, "So what happened?"
(Sleipnir grumbles)
Malkor says, "Well, Tenebrion contacted me via the sunstone..."
Malkor says, "He asked me to do all sorts of things in exchange for a
sword of souls."
Paramedic says, "Mmm-hmm"
Paramedic asks, "and?"
Malkor exclaims, "He wants to turn that mirror in the South Forest into
a ripture to the void, you know!"
Paramedic asks, "He does?"
(Malkor nods.)
V'ree says, "Malkor said he was going to trade a purg pendant to
tenebrion for the sword. The trade went on, with tenebrion giving
Malkor a sword.. and Malkor ran off, not holding his part of the
bargain"
Malkor says, "Oh, pfft."
Paramedic says, "Go on, Malkor"
Malkor exclaims, "You're all a bunch of hypocrites!"
Malkor says, "Para, it's not fair."
Malkor says, "They slaughter innocent spriggins and pilfer coins
without giving it a second thought…"
V'ree ponders, "Malkor doesnt want to face the truth..."
(Paramedic listens)
Malkor exclaims, "But when I try the same on a truly evil man, I'm a
criminal!"
Paramedic asks, "So do you have a Sword of Souls now?"
Malkor says, "Erm, yeah…"
V'ree says, "Tenebrion is offering an award to get his sword back.... I
think"
Paramedic asks, "Have you tried it?"
Hawkthorn says, "he placed a bounty on malkor."
Sleipnir asks, "Doth he want Malkor's head with it?"
V'ree asks, "What is the bounty, anyway?"
Malkor says, "Yeah, I've got it, Para."
Malkor says, "I don't steal anyone's soul with it, 'coz I'm nice like
that."
Malkor says, "Though somedays…"
(Malkor glares at Sleipnir.)
(Sleipnir smiles sweetly)
Paramedic asks, "Has Tenebrion been in contact with you again?"
Malkor says, "Tenebrion? Yeah, he makes lots of threats."
Paramedic asks, "Do you fear him?"
Checkers says, "12"
Malkor says, "Well, I don't think he's much more powerful than your run
of the mill Darshak necromancer…"
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Malkor says, "… but those scare me, too."
Paramedic says, "interesting"
Paramedic asks, "3) What do you think about the Orga Camp Raids? Are
exiles making progress?"
Malkor says, "Slowly."
Malkor says, "The recent death vermine infestation in the fourth camp
remains a problem."
(Malkor grumbles.)
Malkor says, "We need more exiles to attend the raids."
Paramedic asks, "Are the stones that exiles are getting really worth
all the trouble?"
Malkor exclaims, "Of course!"
Paramedic asks, "Why are they so important?"
(Malkor blinks.)
Malkor asks, "Er, you mean, to non-Mysitcs?"
Paramedic says, "Sure. Give our readers some insight on their value"
Malkor says, "Oh. Well, um…"
Paramedic says, "You don't have to give away secrets"
Paramedic says, "I mean sort of generally"
Malkor says, "Oh, that's easy."
Malkor exclaims, "Giving Mystics stones has subtle but important
impacts on numerous levels!"
Malkor ponders, "I thought everyone knew that."
Luminary ponders, "We interrupt this Fishwrap interview for a special
message. Join the next FMOCR, this Friday 1/26, starting around 9pm
EST, 6pm PST."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "4) Where are your favorite places to travel, Malkor?
Hunting grounds?"
(Malkor thinks.)
Malkor says, "That's a toughie."
Malkor says, "I'd have to say Purgatory."
Paramedic asks, "Purgatory???"
* You feel mentally enhanced by Wuss Magic...
(Malkor nods.)
Malkor says, "Oh, I know, it doesn't seem like a hunting ground..."
Paramedic says, "Why Purgatory?"
(Paramedic listens)
Org du Lac exclaims, "Paramedic, you know that's the favorite hunting
grounds for all mystics!"
Malkor says, "Now that Tenebrion's amassing undine forces in the plane
of Puragtory, I have a reason to stay."
Malkor exclaims, "I can slaughter hundreds of skeletons for hours on
end without ever finding the temple!"
* Your mental enhancement fades.
Paramedic asks, "Do you think we should go to war with Tenebrion to
stop him from experimenting with purgatory?"
Malkor says, "Certainly."
Paramedic asks, "Do we have a chance of defeating him?"
Malkor says, "If we act now, perhaps."
Paramedic asks, "So he's getting stronger all the time?"
(Malkor nods!)
Paramedic says, "Hmmm."
Malkor says, "If those pansy diplomats have their way, we'll be knee-
deep in Castle Guards by the time he's ready to invade."
Paramedic asks, "What did you think of Tarf's killing of the Tenebrion
ambassador?"
Malkor says, "Eh, he just played into Tenebrion's hands."
Malkor says, "That "ambassador" was a trap."
Paramedic asks, "Ah, just increased tensions as Tenebrion sought?"
Malkor says, "Tenebrion knew what would happen if he sent a clumsy spy
into town."
(Malkor nods.)
Paramedic says, "Hmm, interesting."
Paramedic asks, "Ok, 5) Do you have any thoughts on the Dal'Noth/Dew
Juice situation?"
Malkor exclaims, "Oh, a trainer who can help us harvest juices needs to
be located at once!"
Malkor exclaims, "My tips have been halved in just this past Zodiac,
and they're falling still!"
Paramedic asks, "Do you understand what these juices are?"
(Malkor shrugs.)
Malkor says, "I dunno. Maybe it's marketable as an exotic drink."
Paramedic says, "That was my thought."
Paramedic says, "it might be good over ice."
Malkor says, "Aye, a fine addition to Puddleby's brewery."
Paramedic says, "ok, in keeping with Fishwrap interview tradition, you
are now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question."
Malkor says, "Oh, hrm..."
Malkor says, "I'm even worse at interviewing than I am at being
interviewed."
Paramedic says, "It's a tricky business."
(Malkor thinks.)
Paramedic says, "I injure myself in interviews all the time."
Malkor says, "I can imagine."
Paramedic says, "Dislocated a flipper last week."
Paramedic says, "But anyway, your question please."
(Malkor nods.)
Malkor asks, "How much do I get paid for this interview?"
Paramedic says, "Special deal today. You receive 5 coins."
(Luminary chuckles)
Malkor exclaims, "Bah!"
You hand Malkor 5 coins. You have 151 remaining.
Org du Lac exclaims, "Think of the fame!"

#####
FISHWRAP INVESTIGATIVE REPORT:
ANIMALS EATING EXILES

I've been asking various exiles in town about their experiences with
this unspeakable and unfortunately common horror.

Bones says, "perhaps you could feed Malkor to animals as a side piece"
Althea says, "there's an idear"
(Bones nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Althea, can you tell us about your experiences with
animals gnawing on you?"
Althea says, "well it's usually rats..."
Paramedic asks, "How's it feel?"
Althea exclaims, "it hurts!"
Miranth ponders, "I hate rats"
Altir ponders, "them slugs get me."
Althea says, "the worst are the fire rats"
Althea says, "they chew up so much of you"
Paramedic asks, "Fire rats??"
(Althea nods solemnly)
Althea says, "its hard for a healer to find anything to heal"
Paramedic asks, "are they aflame?"
Althea says, "no..."
Althea says, "they are shiny tho"
Althea says, "like gold"
Althea says, "golden rats"
Paramedic asks, "How about when Orgas drag or push you?"
Althea exclaims, "its abuse, I say!"
Althea says, "showin their contempt"
Althea ponders, "at least they don't pee on us..."
Althea says, "but it could be worse..."
Paramedic asks, "What do you think the orgas are thinking? Do they want
to take you someplace?"
Althea says, "I've wondered about that..."
Althea says, "it seems... anti thoom to me."
Althea says, "cuz there we'll be... all dead in a nice line..."
Bones says, "raldin can create anti thooms"
Althea exclaims, "an then they push you out of formation!"
Althea says, "its like they taking whatever last lil shred of dignity
you have."
Paramedic asks, "So let's see here. Rats chew, orgas drag or push you,
what other creatures harass you when you are fallen?"
Althea says, "carrion arachne"
Bones says, "scav birds"
Paramedic asks, "What do they do?"
Althea says, "carrion arachne chew on ya... birds pluck yer eyes out."
Paramedic says, "Yes, that's quite painful"
(Althea nods)
Althea says, "whats so bad about it..."
Althea says, "is that when a rescue does come..."
Althea says, "sometimes they can't raise you."
Paramedic asks, "Any other beasts do anything once you are fallen?"
Althea says, "Adua once..."
(Paramedic listens)
Althea says, "was ratted for 2 hours"
Althea says, "by 30 rats"
Paramedic says, "That sounds awful"
Althea says, "when they finally got her back to town"
(Althea looks around)
Althea says, "she was beyond the power of the moonstone to heal."
(Althea shudders)
Paramedic says, "Not good"
Althea says, "she had to depart."
Althea says, "very bad."
Paramedic asks, "Any other beasts do anything once you are fallen?"
(Althea thinks)
Althea says, "yes."
Althea says, "Orga Zealots"
(Paramedic listens)
Marteria says, "they pick at you...it happened to me. darn rats"
Althea says, "if they find you fallen in the Outback..."
Paramedic asks, "Oh?"
Althea says, "they chant and send you to the Orga Village."
Paramedic says, "Oh yes a Zealot got me once."
Althea says, "way *deep* into the orga village."
Paramedic says, "Yes, it was quite a trip"
Althea says, "very annoying."
Althea says, "anyway..."
Paramedic says, "Even if you're still on your feet, animal attacks are
quite painful."
Althea says, "aye..."
(Althea nods)
Althea says, "they like to go fer the hinder too"
Paramedic says, "Ouch."
Paramedic says, "Some exiles have had a dew shoved down their throat."
Althea says, "yes, Qual likes to do that..."
Althea says, "dews like to chew on you too."
Paramedic says, "Painful and humiliating, I understand."
(Althea nods)
Althea says, "its happened to many many exiles."
Althea says, "thooms too."
Paramedic says, "How awful."
(Althea nods)
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
Paramedic says, "Thanks for some insight on animal attacks."
Althea says, "sure para"

Paramedic asks, "Mr. Rutabaga, can I ask a question of you for a
Fishwrap article?"
Rutabaga asks, "what's a fishwrap?"
Paramedic asks, "My magazine. You've never read it?"
Rutabaga says, "no"
Rutabaga says, "but go ahead"
Paramedic says, "Over 140 exiles read it."
Paramedic says, "http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine"
Rutabaga says, "well"
Rutabaga says, "I'm prone to overlook things"
Paramedic says, "You should check it out sometime."
Rutabaga exclaims, "sure!"
Thrund ponders, "must be hard to overlook when you're prone"
Rutabaga ponders, "actually it's the easiest time to fall victim"
Paramedic asks, "The question is: What is it like when you fall to a
monster?"
Rutabaga says, "Don't know"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think about as you wait for a rescue?"
Rutabaga says, "I never have"
Paramedic asks, "You've never fallen?"
Rutabaga says, "to a monster no"
Paramedic asks, "What have you fallen to?"
Rutabaga says, "Umm"
Rutabaga says, "Tree Giant"
Rutabaga says, "Err"
Rutabaga says, "Umm"
Paramedic says, "Well, those count as monsters"
(Rutabaga scratches his head)
Rutabaga asks, "They do?"
Rutabaga says, "They're not overtly monstrous"
Paramedic says, "Yeah, for our purposes here"
Rutabaga says, "they're animals"
Rutabaga says, "Oh"
Rutabaga says, "okie"
Bokonon ponders, "a giant attacking tree seems like a monster to me"
Paramedic asks, "Do they gnaw on you?"
Rutabaga says, "yes"
Paramedic asks, "is that painful?"
Rutabaga says, "Umm, no"
Paramedic asks, "How about when rats gnaw on you?"
Rutabaga ponders, "Tree Giants are beings"
Rutabaga asks, "huh?"
Paramedic asks, "Does it hurt when rats gnaw on you?"
Rutabaga says, "No"
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Rutabaga says, "I don't have a nervous system"
Paramedic asks, "Because you're a vegetable?"
Rutabaga exclaims, "you got it!"
Rutabaga asks, "what do we have for him Bob?"
(Paramedic writes that down.)
(Rutabaga): Well...we have dinner for 2 at Fishy Pete's!
(Rutabaga): Fishy Pete's, where the only thing that is fishy is his
prices!
Paramedic says, "Well, thank you, Rutabaga, for your help."
(WormTounge smiles.)
Rutabaga is a Sylvan, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of Brotherhood of Independents.
He is holding a shovel.
(His cannibalism is only preceded by his vanity.)

Paramedic asks, "How about you Tigger?"
Tigger asks, "What Para?"
Paramedic asks, "What is it like when beasts chew on you when you are
fallen?"
Rutabaga asks, "Where's my gift Para?"
Tigger asks, "What do you mean what is it like?"
You hand Rutabaga 5 coins. You have 173 remaining.
Rutabaga says, "Ooo"
(Rutabaga plans to spend it all in one place)
Rutabaga ponders, "8995 to go!"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic asks, "Well, do you feel pain?"
Tigger exclaims, "It's not fun if that's what you mean!"
Paramedic asks, "Is it awful?"
Paramedic says, "Yeah that's what I mean."
Tigger says, "Well I am kinda ticklish..."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Tigger says, "The nibbling on the paws tends to tickle."
Tigger says, "Scavenger beaks in eyeball not so fun."
Drenn says, "I think not."
Paramedic asks, "Which beast would you rather have chewing on you?"
Tigger says, "hmm..."
Tigger says, "Definitely not leeches."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Which is the worst beast to chew on you?"
Tigger says, "I suppose the rats are relatively gentle."
Polnareff is now Clanning.
Tigger says, "Although they tend to attack in groups."
Tigger says, "Sometimes I have one or more for each appendage."
Paramedic asks, "How about mahas? Do they take big bites?"
Tigger says, "Well yes, but they've never chewed on my fallen carcass
as I recall."
Paramedic says, "Ahh, good point."
Tigger says, "They prefer fresh meat."
Tigger says, "I'd rather face a maha than a bolok though, I don't know
why."
Tigger says, "Boloks always seem to be in a really bad mood."
Paramedic asks, "How about the varieties of Orgas?"
Tigger asks, "Orgas?"
Paramedic says, "Yes."
Tigger says, "I also don't remember them bothering with fallen exiles."
Tigger says, "Hmm yes, that can happen."
Tigger says, "Sometimes the arachnoids push me around too."
Paramedic asks, "Where do you think they want to take them?"
Tigger says, "Well, it might just be attributed to clumsiness or
boredom."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Tigger says, "Exile pushball perhaps they would call it."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks Tigger!"

Drenn says, "Hello Paramedic."
Felicity says, "hi"
Paramedic says, "Hello Drenn, Felicity"
Felicity says, "hi ya"
Paramedic asks, "Would you like to answer a quick question for FIshwrap
Magazine?"
(Felicity is bein lazy right now)
Drenn asks, "Me or her?"
Paramedic says, "Both of you."
Felicity says, "sure If I can"
Drenn says, "sure"
(Felicity sits up to give you her attention)
Paramedic says, "Well, I was wondering what you feel like when beasts
gnaw on you when you are fallen."
Paramedic asks, "Is it pretty horrible?"
(Felicity looks to Drenn first)
Drenn says, "oh, sheesh"
Felicity says, "you go ahead"
Drenn says, "It is very painful."
(Paramedic nods and writes it down.)
Drenn says, "I can feel every bite that they take out of me."
Felicity says, "I cry like a baby"
Paramedic asks, "Are vermine the worst?"
Drenn says, "I try to ignore it by joking, but the truth is it's a
searing pain."
(Paramedic nods.)
Drenn says, "Rats are by far the worst."
Felicity says, "I get scared"
Drenn says, "Their sharp teeth..."
Felicity says, "and yes rats are the worst"
Felicity says, "that is what I was going to say too"
Paramedic says, "Mmmhmm."
(Drenn shudders.)
Felicity says, "they hurt me bad"
Paramedic says, "So a quick rescue is definitely a good thing."
Drenn says, "Oh, yes."
Drenn says, "Definately."
Felicity says, "i can never stop crying till a rescuer comes"
Drenn says, "It's true, I've seen her."
Felicity says, "it is just awful"
Paramedic asks, "Have you ever been pushed or pulled by an Orga while
you were fallen?"
Drenn says, "Yes."
(Felicity nods yes)
Drenn says, "That's not so bad."
Paramedic says, "Oh really."
Felicity says, "pushed around"
Paramedic asks, "Why do you think Orgas do that?"
Felicity says, "they like to throw their weight around"
Felicity says, "to show themselves as being tougher"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Drenn says, "They just want to take the direct path, and if I'm there,
I must be moved."
Felicity says, "like "get ya while yer down""
Paramedic asks, "So basically it's the vermine and the orga that bother
you most when fallen?"
Felicity says, "rats"
Drenn says, "The orga don't bother me."
Felicity says, "not vermine"
Paramedic says, "And rats."
Felicity says, "vermine are nuttin"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Felicity says, "orgas.. I can out run"
Drenn says, "sometimes they scratch my back nicely when the push."
Felicity says, "rats get on me nerves"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Paramedic asks, "How about when you're still alive but in danger? Are
mahas and boloks a problem?"
Drenn exclaims, "By the Goddess, yes!"
Felicity says, "they eat my tail"
Paramedic says, "Oh dear."
(Felicity twitches her tail)
Drenn says, "They should be hunted."
Paramedic says, "I've sewed back on many a fen tail."
Drenn says, "Skinned and eaten."
(Felicity nods)
Diomedes says, "indeed."
Paramedic asks, "Are mahas pretty much the worst thing in south
forest?"
Drenn says, "Yes"
Felicity says, "it is awfull... they won't let up either.. they chase
me everywhere"
Drenn says, "Definately."
Drenn says, "I only enter the marshes to get to Savannah."
(Felicity shudders at the mention of south forest)
(Paramedic writes that down.)
(Felicity avoids south forest like a bad sickness)
Paramedic asks, "Any other beasts you find especially troublesome?"
Drenn says, "T'rool."
(Paramedic nods.)
Drenn says, "I hate them almost as much as I hate Darshak."
Felicity says, "I tend to hide behind toughies to heal.. and only come
out for a whack at critters' behinds"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "It's tough being a healer out in the wild sometimes."
Felicity says, "lsw and green noids bite me hard too.."
Drenn ponders, "I'm sure."
Felicity says, "aye"
Felicity says, "it is.."
Felicity says, "but I have lots who watch out for me"
(Paramedic nods.)
Felicity says, "the joy of bein a healer is yer needed"
(Felicity is luved)
(Felicity purrs)
Paramedic says, "Thank you both, these will be very helpful for the new
"Animals Eating Exiles" article"
(Felicity grins)
Drenn says, "You are welcome."
You gave good karma to Felicity, thoom!
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
Felicity says, "thanks, Paramedic"
You just received good karma from Drenn, Anytime

#####
MONOLITH'S PERSONAL SCRATCHING POST: FEN ISSUES FOR FEN EXILES
BY MONOLITH THE GOOD

Greetings fellow exiles. I have been promising Paramedic that I would
write something for the Fishwrap for some time now. I have recently
found myself with more time and many issues that I wish to write about.

Today the issue that troubles me is the lost art of our fighting
traditions. I know that the village I was raised in was very grounded
in the Fen martial arts, fighting with tooth and claw. Now I love my
axe and other weapons as much as the next Fen, but if they are lost am
I lost too? I say that we can't let our traditions die just because we
are in exile. What  I propose is that we approach the monastery and ask
them to allow us to practice there developing our traditional Fen
weaponless fighting techniques and studying the monastic techniques as
well. It would be mutually beneficial.

I can recall fondly, my father training me in the traditions of our
people. I also recall that he was matchless with a spear as well.
Keeping our traditions does not mean that we reject what we have
learned from others in exile. It means that we can share and enrich the
experience of not just other Fens, but all those who are exiled with
us. Keep Fen traditions alive!

#####
STRANGE STONE REPORT
BY ZORTON

Many still seem to be asking, am I still in possession of the strange
stone?  I can happily say that I still am.  Since there still seems to
be so many questions revolving around the stone.  I'm passing on more
of what I have learned. There was some controversy over the nature of
the stone that was brought about by the first three breaking in the
hands of the mystics that had acquired them.  Some thought perhaps it
wasn't a mystic tool, others thought the stone needed some sort of
tuning or charging.  Well, after now having the stone for over 3
months, the controversy seems to be clearing.  Here is what I know.

The Strange Stone is identical in effect as the teleport ring was
before the rip-wars.  The ring was a mystic tool.

Full Mystics have a trainer that deals with Teleportation.

The stone prior to the current wave remained "Dark" when equipped.
There appears to have been some unknown reason in which the stone was
not correctly assessing the mystics training in its use.  I  think this
is why they broke so quickly for the mystic who had one in the past.

Since right after the last chaos storm the Stone now glows in a variety
of different levels when equipped.  The level or the "Glow" is still
under investigation, but appears related to the level of training I
have in the teleport trainer.  The glow can range anywhere from "Glows
Brightly"  to  "Flickers" or it can even remain "Dark" on occasion.
Most of my equips cause the stone to "glow" or "glow Brightly" which
seems to be a good sign.

I don't believe the stone requires any charging or tuning.  I have
tried numerous areas including the Bartok Altar in the Orga Village.
They don't seem related.

I have now successfully used the stone 3 times now, 2 times to "mark a
location" and one to actually teleport to that mark.

I hope this clears up some of the questions that still linger.
-Zorton

#####
INTERVIEW WITH THE WITCHES

<http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fw/interviewwitches.gif>

Luce is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
the Sisters of Benevolence.
She is holding a caduceus and a wooden shield.
(You have to pay me 5 coins to read this.)
Ashe is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
the Sisters of Benevolence.
She is holding a caduceus and a wooden shield.
(Ashe has decided to remain celibate.)
Paramedic says, "Thoom"
Ashe says, "Doom."
Luce asks, "Slice of Thoom anyone?"
Paramedic asks, "Mind if I ask you a question for the Fishwrap?"
Ashe says, "forge onward tasty thoom"
Paramedic asks, "What's it like when a beast gnaws on you when you are
fallen?"
Ashe says, "dunno, I've never fallen"
Paramedic asks, "Really?"
Ashe says, "nope, we're immortal"
Paramedic asks, "Ever considered gnawing on a fallen exile?"
Luce says, "I have a statement for the Fishwrap."
(Paramedic listens.)
Luce says, "This town will have to start being a whole lot more
generous to witches or they might have to move to another business
district."
Paramedic asks, "More generous? How so?"
(Ashe looks at the single coin in her purse)
Luce exclaims, "I cannot afford my skin medicine!"
Paramedic says, "Ah donations"
Luce exclaims, "I cannot afford my pendant!"
Paramedic asks, "You can't work for a living?"
Ashe says, "it's a crying shame, the lack of respect in this dingy
burg"
Luce says, "I'm working right now."
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider rescuing people?"
Luce says, "Let your readers know."
Ashe exclaims, "oh sure, it's always the witches, coming to the
rescue!"
Ashe exclaims, "help me! help me!"
Paramedic says, "Might help pay the bills."
Ashe says, "well, someday, we just might not be around, and then you'll
all realize how much we're needed"
Luce says, "And don't come running crying to us then."
Ashe says, "not unless you've got a lot of coins to give us, anyway"
Paramedic asks, "What services do witches offer to the local citizens?"
Luce says, "Moral leadership."
Ashe says, "Career Guidance"
Ashe says, "Sage Advice"
Luce says, "Investment advice."
(Paramedic nods.)
Ashe says, "Monetary Divestiture"
Ashe says, "and such"
Paramedic says, "So you see yourself as investment specialists."
Ashe says, "the economy of this town would be an entirely different
animal without us around"
Luce says, "In a largely moral sense."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
(Luce scratches)
Paramedic asks, "But you don't have enough customers?"
Ashe says, "we don't charge for our services! it's donations only"
Law'n St'ple can never tell which witch is which.
Paramedic says, "Ahh..."
Luce says, "There is no shortage of work here, that's for certain."
(Ashe nods, sagely.)
Ashe says, "don't mention it"
Paramedic says, "Excuse me while I heal this dwarf."
Ashe says, "sure, but they'll just last longer if you do"
(Paramedic nods.)
Luce says, "That's one of the wider problems right there."
Ashe says, "yup"
Paramedic asks, "Too many dwarves?"
Ashe says, "dorf coddling"
Saturnus is now Clanning.
Luce says, "And too much healing of them."
Ashe says, "ought to be laws"
Paramedic says, "hrm."
Paramedic asks, "How about sylvans?"
Ashe says, "well, they taste terrible and smell awful, but at least
they're not dorfs"
(Paramedic listens and makes notes.)
Paramedic asks, "Any thoughts on fen, while we're on this topic?"
Ashe exclaims, "you could do a lot worse, like a dorf for instance!"
Ashe exclaims, "Althea!"
Luce says, "Shaving them before cooking is a pain."
Althea says, "greetings Ashe"
(Althea smiles)
Ashe exclaims, "whotcha!"
Althea says, "nice to see you :)"
Ashe says, "of course it is! ; )"
Paramedic says, "They are very furry, yes."
Paramedic says, "Some exiles think that witches are a force for evil."
Ashe asks, "some exiles think buggers are a nice meal... what's yer
point?"
Luce says, "Might as well say the earth is flat. Nothing is further
from the truth."
Paramedic says, "I wondered if you had a comment on it."
Paramedic says, "So you deny it."
(Althea chuckles)
Luce says, "That we even have to is scandalous."
Ashe says, "might as well believe in the Mainland"
Paramedic asks, "Witches don't believe in the mainland?"
Ashe says, "oh, come on"
Althea says, "well... this has been fun."
(Althea waves)
(Paramedic smiles and waves.)
Ashe says, "it's just a convenient excuse for all them thieves and
buggerers to say they was exiled from"
Ashe says, "nonsense"
Althea is no longer Clanning.
Tere says, "Sisters."
Paramedic says, "Ah Tere is here."
Ashe says, "hey sis"
Luce says, "Sis."
Luce says, "I see you can afford your skin medicine."
Paramedic asks, "So in general the witches are underfunded?"
Ashe says, "exactly"
Tere says, "very much so, Paramedic"
Luce says, "Not so general."
Luce says, "It is very very specific."
Tere says, "a town's heart is reflected in how it treats its witches."
Luce says, "A measure of the civilization."
Paramedic asks, "So the lack of income restricts your activity? Or just
keeps you from your skin dyes/medicine?"
Ashe says, "it will if they don't pony up soon ; )"
Tere says, "distinctly lacking here, Luce."
(Ashe nods)
Luce says, "It restricts the healthy growth of the town."
Tere says, "its why the mirrors are still closed."
Paramedic says, "Ah interesting."
Paramedic asks, "An infusion of money to witches might help open the
mirror?"
Ashe exclaims, "oh, undoubtedly!"
(Tere nods)
Luce asks, "Might?"
(Paramedic nods his head suspiciously.)
Ashe says, "we're just too busy try to make ends meet to open them
right now"
Tere asks, "I passed 3rd and yet where is my cad?"
Paramedic says, "I see."
(Ashe tsks)
Paramedic asks, "Do you feel that exiles discriminate against you
because they misunderstand you?"
Tere says, "I think they're just mean."
Ashe says, "and stupid"
Ashe says, "and ungrateful"
Tere says, "yes Ashe..."
Paramedic asks, "What have witches done for exiles?"
Tere says, "they don't understand their own best interests"
Ashe says, "first starters, we point out their shortcomings"
Tere says, "freely."
Paramedic says, "That can be helpful I suppose."
Ashe asks, "how can an exile improve if they don't know how stupid they
are?"
(Ashe sharpens her shiny claws)
Paramedic asks, "What else can you do for exiles?"
Tere says, "very true, Ashe."
Luce says, "Lighten their burden."
Ashe says, "well, as we said before, monetary advice"
Tere says, "give them opportunities to feel generous"
Fletcher is no longer sharing experiences with you.
Ashe exclaims, "yes! yes! that's a very good one!"
Paramedic says, "I see."
Ashe says, "plus we help stop them from buying frivolous things"
Tere says, "indeed that is so."
Paramedic asks, "Like fancy clothing?"
Ashe says, "yeah, or food and stuff"
Paramedic asks, "Do you ever do traditional witchy things? Hang out
with undine, consort with dark forces, etc.?"
Tere says, "that's for posers"
Ashe asks, "well, we could... but why would we?"
Paramedic asks, "Oh?"
Luce says, "Una has a dark force."
Paramedic asks, "Una does?"
Ashe says, "una has a dark everything"
Luce says, "Prue consorts with her quite frequently."
Paramedic asks, "Is Una one of you?"
Ashe says, "a sister, yes"
Paramedic asks, "How about Prue?"
Ashe says, "yup"
Paramedic says, "Some say Prue is merely a witch in training."
Luce says, "Try not to make fun of her weaknesses. She is very
sensitive."
(Ashe nods)
Tere says, "touchy."
(Paramedic nods sympathetically.)
Ashe asks, "Lodovik, you got that 10 coins you owe me yet?"
Tere says, "Malkor still owes me that 300."
Prue is now Clanning.
Paramedic asks, "Malkor owes you money?"
Tere says, "yes."
Ashe says, "this town exists on the backs of us witches"
Luce says, "Speaking of weaknesses."
Eek says, "He owes everyone money"
Paramedic says, "Oh here's Prue now."
Paramedic says, "Hello Prue"
Paramedic says, "We were just talking about you."
Prue asks, "where's Unafish?"
Ashe says, "eating raw fish from what I hear"
Luce says, "She couldn't eat through her wrist."
(Paramedic counts four witches.)
Tere says, "he can count."
Tere says, "imagine that."
(Paramedic nods.)
Ashe says, "wow"
Ashe says, "well, he does have four flippers, bet he can't go higher"
Paramedic says, "We Thooms invented mathematics."
Paramedic asks, "So is this a typical witchy day?"
Ashe says, "every day is a witchy day"
Paramedic asks, "I mean, you don't have a to-do list?"
Prue asks, "we just gonna sit here lookin pretty?"
Tere says, "yes. no one is taking advantaage of the opportunity to be
generous."
Tere says, "sad, that."
Ashe says, "so much wasted potential"
Tere says, "I mean, here we are..."
Tere says, "there they sit with their full purses..."
Prue exclaims, "Keep Prue green!"
Tere says, "and I still don't have a cad."
(Paramedic watches Prue speak to Valtrim.)
Valtrim says, "She's green enough."
Ashe asks, "you see what we have to put up with?"
Paramedic says, "The exiles seem unwilling to give you coins."
Tere says, "the crosses we have to bear..."
Prue asks, "are you gonna give me some money, or what?"
Valtrim asks, "Or what?"
(Prue shakes her head.)
Prue says, "Be a good cat. Pick the other one."
Paramedic says, "Maybe you should give them something more tangible in
exchange for their coins."
Tere asks, "what more could we give them?"
Paramedic asks, "What do you have?"
Luce asks, "What is intangible about Purpose to their miserable lives?"
Tere says, "I suppose our undivided attention."
Ashe asks, "what could be better than opportunity?"
Paramedic says, "Hrm."
Paramedic says, "You could heal them."
Tere asks, "do you think they want our undivided attention, Sisters?"
Ashe says, "I wouldn't if I was them"
(Tere cackles)
(Prue sighs and writes something on a scrap of cloth)
(Luce starts writing the bill for the interview.)
Paramedic says, "Well, I think you've provided exiles with a better
understanding of the difficulties of being a witch."
Luce asks, "Is the gratuity included or not? I keep forgetting?"
Paramedic says, "Maybe this will change some minds about you."
Tere says, "include it."
Ashe says, "only in groups of six or more"
Tere says, "oh..."
(Tere shrugs)
Ashe says, "minds are like diapers, no one wants to have to change
them"
Prue asks, "I smell investigative reporting! What's going on here?"
Paramedic says, "An interview."
Tere says, "Para bought an interview with us."
(Paramedic nods.)
Tere says, "I think we're billing him."
Luce asks, "What are your circulation numbers?"
Paramedic says, "141 is the circulation."
Prue says, "we're being interviewed."
Luce says, "Strangely the bill comes to an even 141 coins due to each
of us. Plus gratuity."
(Paramedic waits for the bill.)
Slyph says, "wow.."
Ashe says, "that sounds awfully fair"
Ashe asks, "you sure that's right?"
Tere says, "generous of us."
(Luce checks her figures.)
Ashe says, "well, we have to set an example"
Prue says, "we should get royalties. reprint fees."
Mr Pudding says, "burn the transcript"
Luce says, "The numbers add up. It is the interest which will hurt them
if they leave it unpaid for long."
Ashe asks, "what about overseas value added stuff?"
Paramedic says, "Oh don't worry, The ThoomCare Media Network will pick
up the tab."
Prue says, "Pudding, get the hell out of here. This ain't about you."
Ashe says, "there's always plenty of interest when witches are involved
; )"
(Paramedic examines the bill closely.)
Tere says, "he wants a witch's kiss, perhaps"
(Mr Pudding): Mr Pudding blinks...
Kelan ponders, "If I were Paramedic, I'd tell them that I had given the
full amount to Prue, and ask them to work out the split amongst
themselves."
(Luce dons a fresh coat of lipstick)
Mr Pudding asks, "is that a good thing, or bad thing?"
Paramedic says, "Oh, no, I didn't order this meat platter."
(Paramedic scratches out the meat platter.)
Luce says, "The side of dorf was a freebie."
Paramedic says, "I think Valtrim might have ordered that meat."
(Ashe nods)
(Paramedic hands the witches a voucher and his ThoomCharge™ card.)
Paramedic says, "Well, thank you all. I think you've answered some
questions for many curious exiles."
Ashe says, "; )"
Tere asks, "when will you pay our invoice?"
Paramedic says, "Our accountants will make sure the payment is
covered."
Mr Pudding asks, "Para, can I put a sentence in the article anywhere?"
Paramedic says, "That was your sentence, Mr. Pudding."
Mr Pudding ponders, "nuts"
(Paramedic writes it down.)
(Ashe smirks)
Paramedic asks, "Is there something you'd like to be asked,. Prue?"
Luce says, "As a columnist, Prue, you'll be able to address any missing
issues."
Rael the Squonk says, "Rgh"
Rael the Squonk says, "ARgh"
Paramedic says, "Indeed."
Paramedic says, "We're still waiting for Ask Auntie Prue."
Rael the Squonk yells, "Double ARGH!"
Prue exclaims, "I missed *all* the questions?!"
Tere says, "didn't take much... small subject."
Paramedic says, "Well Prue, perhaps you'd answer a few questions."
(Tere prepares to write a new invoice.)
Prue says, "I dunno.... I'm a little offended now"
Paramedic asks, "Could you tell us about your upcoming column, Ask
Auntie Prue?"
Prue says, "Sure. In "Ask Aunie Prue" I'll always remember that Prue is
the most important part of the story."
(Paramedic nods.)
Prue says, "write that down"
Prue says, "Prue most important"
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Paramedic says, ""Prue = important""
Paramedic asks, "What sort of questions will you answer?"
Prue says, "Ones that amuse me."
(Paramedic writes that down.)
Prue says, "Oh.... and ones poeple pay me to answer."
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Paramedic says, "Ok, moving to question #2."
Paramedic asks, "Some say you are the most "sensitive" of the witches.
Any comment?"
(Ashe smirks)
Slyph thinks, "!"
Prue asks, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Shadowfire thinks, "She's a witch, she is supposed to be odd. :)"
Paramedic says, "Well, maybe "thin-skinned" is a better word."
Ashe ponders, "uh oh"
(Tere coughs)
Prue asks, "That's a bunch of crap! Who says that?"
Prue says, "I'm as easy going as they get."
Paramedic says, "I have to keep my sources secret. You understand."
Luce says, "I'll swap you a dorf sauce recipe for one of yours."
Tere says, "sure. I like having my spirit drained."
Tere says, "thanks."
Prue says, "Then let's just agree that when I get names, I'll tell you
where to dig."
Prue exclaims, "Look at me, thoom. Now I'm writing something down!"
(Prue writes.)
(Paramedic's eyes bulge.)
Prue says, "it's shorthand"
(Prue laughs and laughs)

NEXT ISSUE:  PART TWO

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Dear Slyph"
"Ask Auntie Prue"
Part Two of the Prue Interview

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare Media Network)

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Prue, Slyph, Tuan, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: What are your favorite uses for Fishwrap
Magazine?  (Vote for one or more choices)


CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Lining the cage of my pet bloodhawk, 3 votes, 4.29%
- Whacking the local nosy Thooms on the snout, 8 votes, 11.43%
- Reading the contents to keep up on current events in Puddleby, 18 votes,
25.71%
- Wrapping up my leftover fish, 9 votes, 12.86%
- Folding it into origami wendeckas, 8 votes, 11.43%
- Stuffing my shirt with it so I look "bigger" if you know what I mean, 3 votes,
4.29%
- How else could I hit Prue with all those spitballs?  Nuff said, 5 votes, 7.14%
- Mailing all the articles about me to my mom on the mainland, 5 votes, 7.14%
- Donating it to the cold and lonely dwarf fund, 4 votes, 5.71%
- Mulching my kudzu garden, 7 votes, 10.00%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with eGroups, please visit
http://www.egroups.com/help

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Pengy GM
Pie with it in the afternoon"
Issue #28: "Noth Juice: Part Of A Balanced Breakfast"
[January 15, 2001]
Circulation: 141

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Zorton's Complete Guide to Sunstone Tuning: <http://members.aol.com/
zortoncl/sstuning.html>
* Raldin the Mystic's Sunstone Tuning Service
* Mac-arena the Zo: "New Items Catalogue at <http://members.nbci.com/
CheaCrets/clord/items>"
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* The Sundragon Clan: <http://www.sundragonclan.com>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Storms in Purgatory; also, more monsters appearing there
* Cloaks fall apart and are no longer available
* Devil's Island re-arranged
* Noths now give juice when you kill them; exiles seek a trainer (or, a
strainer?) for Noth juicing
* Monastery opens, bracers trainer available and now....unavailable
* New builder in town (near library): claims to be working on town
tunnel project
* Skybox in Coliseum open
* ThoomCare member Aldynes becomes 3rd circle healer
* ThoomCare member Durandal becomes 3rd circle healer

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Developments in the exploration of Wisher's Gate, Hatred's Hollow and
the Orga Outback
* Votenkath promises help with the Noth juice
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/>

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm still seeking a goat
* Trouble in Orga Camp
* Exclusive pictures of the forging of a Bloodblade
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
NEWS FEATURES

From the Fen News Bureau:
Ja'chan Leaves in Disgrace
The monastery was shocked by the sudden disappearance of Sensei Ja'chan
late Wednesday evening. He was responsible for the teaching of bare-
handed fighting and was a teacher to many members of the Puddleby-
Kiramu Monastery. The only information we have is from Amon Yret, who
was standing near where Sensei Ja'chan used to be. He says that Sensei
Ja'chan "could not uphold the standards of our fine institution" and
"He has left in . . . a bit of disgrace." Until a suitable replacement
can be found, I recommend alternative training.
-Jeanne

From the Thoom News Bureau:
Rael the Squonk nearly had a heart attack recently when he opened his
lunchbox from Chef Haricot to discover a perfectly preserved breaded
and fried chicken head.  In a widely publicized press conference, Mr.
Squonk complained bitterly about the sad state of the Puddleby food
service industry.  Mr. Squonk demanded an immediate investigation into
food quality in town.
Picture here:
<http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Misc/raelchicken.gif>

The Gubara report:
From Gubara in Agratis
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Afrit, Galadriel,
Bubbles, Doc, Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Brae, Gandor Durin, Camo,
Artworx, Cutlas."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_187_20_46 on 7 Summer, 540 at 21:40..."
Clerus says, "Brimstar accused Thruc of public disturbance...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 122 minutes in jail, 125c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_197_03_39 on 17 Summer, 540 at 4:12..."
Clerus says, "Noah accused Zeus of stealing my idenity...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_200_07_52 on 20 Summer, 540 at 8:55..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Zaroff of Revealing major mystic secrets
in public...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 362 minutes in jail, 4698c fine
and 0 days banished."


#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable.  Your ad will be read by well
over 140 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

This week:  Top 4 Scrolls You Might Not Be Reading

Check out these scrolls:

Lundar's Library:
<http://lodge29.tripod.com/>
Lundar's Journal and Scrapbook are essential reading for the informed
exile.

Babajaga has a new guide to Fighting:
<http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/fighting/index.html>

Hoom the Thoom now has a scroll. Hoom is a long-time citizen of
Puddleby.
<http://www.puddleby.dk/mervine/hoom.html>

Fishwrap Magazine has a files section with some interesting pictures:
<http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/>

By the way, don't drink the Noth juice.

-Para

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER

Charlos asks, "What do you think about the Nox Sorora?"
Chitra says, "Dey evil"
Charlos says, "Ah"
(Raiine sighs)
Slyph ponders, "POS is all daisies, butterflies, and holding hands and
singing songs"
Raiine says, "poeple believe in rumours"
Chitra asks, "you want short answers right?"
Charlos says, "heh"
Chitra says, "I happy to give longer ones >^-^<"
Charlos says, "well, feel free 8-)"
Raiine says, "maybe if people did a lil research, they might have more
of an open mind"
Chitra says, "I done plenty research"
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Chitra says, "I also lived thru ripture war"
Solas says, "the main members seem to be a bad influence. and that gets
passed on to everyone involved"
Charlos says, "I see"
Chitra says, "no friend of Undine a friend of mine, or Puddleby's"
Solas asks, "what happend with Nox during the rip war?"
Chitra says, "nuthin'"
Chitra says, "dat before Lilit exiled"
Raiine asks, "do you know why they are helping undine Chitra ?"
Althea says, "they weren't on this isle..."
Chitra says, "I not define what dey do as "help""
Raiine says, "they are trying to free the spirits of the Undine"
Chitra says, "Undine NOT what Nox Sorora claim"
Raiine says, "to me that seems as a good cause"
Chitra says, "Undine frum Land Of Shadow"
Chitra says, "Darshak summon some..."
Chitra says, "but even DEY not control strongest ones"
Raiine says, "They are trying to release the Undine from the Darshak.."
Chitra asks, "so dey ravage th' lands?"
Raiine says, "the darshak are the real problem for Puddleby"
Chitra says, "oh DAT Sound smart"
Chitra says, "Undine were th' shock troops of th' Ripture war"
Chitra asks, "you member Ripture war?"
Chitra removes her Third Circle Fighter Belt.
Chitra ties her Third Circle Fighter Belt around her waist.
Charlos asks, "So you see the Nox Sorora as a force of evil?"
Raiine says, "No i was not in Puddleby, but i have read many many
scrolls"
Chitra says, "yaar, Charlos"
Chitra says, "I do"
Raiine says, "things they do i find hard to understand sometimes"
Charlos says, "It would seem that many try and seperate the two"
Althea asks, "are you in Nox, Raiine?"
Raiine says, "but until they do something very wrong I will not change
my thoughts"
Charlos says, "Lilit... and her Undine freedom parades"
Chitra says, "Dey makes claims dat unsupportable ethically"
Raiine says, "No Althea"
Charlos asks, "So, you see the activities of Lilit as representative of
the Nox Sorora's belief system?"
Chitra says, "I see Lilit as definitive member,"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Chitra says, "all other members been on record as publicly supportin'
her actions"
Charlos asks, "Have you witnessed any of her activities in particular?"
(Chitra nods)
Chitra says, "I personally seen her runnin' up an' down an' chantin'
durin' undine invasion of town"
Chitra says, "dis shortly after war"
Charlos says, "I see"
Althea says, "I've seen her lead undine into healers trying to raise
fallen"
Chitra says, "as we begin to git upper hand..."
Raiine asks, "what have they done recently Chitra , that makes you hate
them so?"
Chitra says, "an' kill undine, she start screamin'"
Solas asks, "outside of the undine hut Althea?"
Chitra asks, "you not listen Raiine?"
Althea says, "in town, solas"
Chitra says, "dey claim kinship with Undine"
Althea says, "she has led undine invasions in town."
Althea says, "or at least helped them as much as she could.."
Chitra says, "I jest 'xplain' WHY I think Undine evil"
Raiine says, "i do not think she thinks its an invasion.."
Chitra says, "it not MATTER what she think she doin'"
Althea asks, "oh? and what insight do you have into what she thinks?"
Chitra says, "residents of Puddleby git to make OWN decision"
Raiine says, "because i have read what hse belives althea"
Chitra says, "if residents of Puddleby decide she doin' evil"
Althea says, "you've read what she wants you to read."
Charlos says, "But there are those who would say, that Lilit is merely
a member of the Nox Sorora.."
Chitra says, "Dat sufficient definition in eyes of law"
Charlos says, "and that the religion is nice and full of daisies and
butterfiles"
Chitra says, "yaar is true Charlos"
Charlos says, "That just Lilit is bad, not the Nox"
Althea says, "the Matre has said she and the chapterhouse supports
Lilit and her activities"
Chitra says, "but, I never hear of Nox Sorora before I come here"
Charlos says, "I see"
Chitra says, "only place I ever learn of "religion" is here"
Charlos says, "Since they support her actions..."
Charlos says, "They are just as culpable"
Chitra says, "an' her actions (in my opinion) are evil"
Althea says, "yes they are."
Charlos says, "I see"
Chitra says, "yaar, culpable"
Chitra says, "guilt by association"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Raiine says, "other people in Nox i do not think are evil tho...."
Chitra says, "you entitled to yer opinion" Raiine says, "fair enough
some have done some bad stuff.."
Raiine says, "and I did not like them before" Chitra says, "I still say
they guilty by association" Raiine says, "but there are only one or 2
that really make the Nox look bad"
Charlos says, "All the rest are nice"
Raiine says, "thats what i think"
(Althea shrugs)
Chitra says, "I not think any of dem "nice""
Charlos says, "I see"
Althea says, "til the chapterhouse and its members throw them out, they
embrace lilit and her works"
Althea says, "whether they mean to or not"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Althea says, "most of the Nox's I've talked to refuse to believe the
things I've told them I've seen..."
Chitra says, "dey activily support her durin' Knight's inquest"
Charlos asks, "Hmm?"
Althea says, "yes, Chitra..."
Charlos asks, "Knight's inquest?"
Chitra says, "True 'n Gentle order of Knights hold inquest into her
activities"
Charlos says, "I see"
Raiine says, "i will just say I am trying to have an open mind on it.."
Althea says, "that was when gurgi first showed his signs of turning"
Chitra says, "durin' inquest, Naamah (sp?) Indigo, and lotta associates
all come out in favor of her"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Raiine says, "and allow people to make their own desicions and
opinions"
Neige says, "it is true that only Lilit has lured undines out of the
undines caves, but could it be that it is because she was the only one
who can do it well? J'nder if she wanted could do it very well.. I fear
they might ask her to do it, to take Lilit place as she is not very
pressent right now"
Chitra says, "Raiine I makin' judgement based on what I personally
seen, of Darshak, of Undine, and of Lilit"
Raiine says, "yeah me too Chitra"
Raiine says, "and really its fine with me"
Althea says, "let her worship *with* her children"
Raiine says, "they have done bad things"
Chitra says, "yaar Althea"
Raiine says, "things that stick in the memory"
Neige ponders, "they are still doing bad things"
Chitra says, "bad is as bad does"
Chitra says, "dey evil"
Charlos says, "Well, I thank you for your time and patience"

(Indigo grins.)
Charlos says, "I'm here with Indigo"
Charlos asks, "Indigo, would you mind talking to me a bit about the Nox
Sorora?"
Charlos asks, "What is your position in the organization?"
Indigo asks, "Where would you like me to start?"
Indigo says, "I'm a Priestess. Also known as a Sister."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "Is that a high-ranking position?"
Indigo says, "Well... I don't think we see it in terms of rank...."
Charlos says, "I see"
Indigo says, "All Sisters are equal."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "I have achieved the "rank" of Honored Sister...."
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Indigo says, "by completing a ritual known as the First Sacrament."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "Which involves?"
Charlos says, "If you can, I know some rituals are secret.."
Indigo says, "It is a complicated ritual that involves the opening of
the entire being to higher knowledge of the Goddess."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "It is sometimes dangerous, but not often."
Charlos asks, "And this is common for most?"
Charlos asks, "Or are there few who are so "Honored"?"
Indigo says, "In all honesty, I do not know. The Priestesses of my
mother's day were mostly gone before I knew...."
Charlos says, "Your mother..."
Indigo says, "...what their status was. I was only 9 when I lost my
mother also."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "She was a Priestess?"
(Indigo nods.)
Charlos says, "I see"
Indigo says, "Yei... she was a Matre.... a leader."
Charlos asks, "Ah, so there are leaders?"
Indigo says, "Yei. The Matre. They help guide a chapter."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "Who is the Matre for the chapter here, on Puddleby?"
Indigo says, "Her name is Naamah, a most kind and wise woman."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos says, "I have wondered often about the position Lilit holds
within the organization..."
Charlos asks, "She is a Priestess?"
(Indigo smiles slightly.)
Indigo says, "she, like myself, is an Honored Sister. She has completed
the First Sacrament."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos says, "I have also wondered about her relationship with the
other members"
Indigo asks, "In what way?"
Charlos says, "Well, her activities, as you might know..."
Charlos says, "have been questioned by some here in Puddleby, as
"evil""
(Indigo nods sadly.)
Charlos says, "Some feel, that she is a destructive force"
Charlos says, "in our community"
Charlos says, "Some have said she is an enemy of our town and isle"
Indigo says, "If only they understood the threat that the Darshak pose
to us...."
Charlos says, "Yes, the Darshak..."
Indigo says, "perhaps they would not be so quick to judge."
Indigo says, "I am not skilled in the arts that Lilit performs, so I
cannot speak much for them... however,"
Indigo says, "I can tell you that she is dedicated to eradicating the
Darshak threat. And, for her, that means freeing the undine."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos says, "She claims kinship with the Undine"
Indigo says, "Yei, I know. It is confusing, I'm sure."
Indigo says, "I myself do not really understand it."
Charlos asks, "Do all of the Priestesses claim this kinship as well?"
Indigo says, "Nai, not at all."
Indigo says, "Lilit's work is unique to Lilit."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "So her work is not collective work for the good of the
Nox Sorora?"
Charlos asks, "She is a freelance Priestess?"
(Indigo ponders the question a moment.)
Indigo says, "There are many answers to your question...."
Indigo says, "Her work with translations, with the establishment of a
chapter....."
Indigo says, "these things are for the good of Nox Sorora....."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "Her work with the undine is based on her beliefs......"
Indigo says, "And if she gains insight and wisdom from them, then Nox
Sorora also benefits."
Charlos asks, "Her beliefs are not held in common with the other
members?"
Indigo says, "Them, being her efforts with the undine, not the undine
themselves."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "Her beliefs are not held in common with the other
members?"
Indigo says, "As with all religions, we differ in opinion, sometimes."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos says, "But her actions, her activities, with the undine.."
Charlos says, "Her rites..."
Indigo says, "But I also respect her desire to defeat the darshak, and
give her the benefit of the doubt."
Indigo says, "I know it is hard sometimes for others who do not know
her as I do....."
(Indigo sighs.)
Charlos asks, "Are her actions, her activities, with the undine...
encouraged or supported by the Nox Sorora?"
Indigo says, "At this time, yei."
Indigo says, "Unless we see reason to believe her work is somehow
tainted, we will not interfere."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What can you tell me about Leviathon?"
Charlos ponders, "did i spell it wrong?"
Indigo says, "Complicated question... give me a moment."
Indigo says, "Leviathan."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "He was the Goddess's first creation."
Charlos ponders, "close enough 8-)"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "The Goddess...?"
Indigo says, "He was her Mate."
Indigo says, "The Goddess is the Mother of all things."
Indigo says, "She and Leviathan gave birth to Sun, Moon, and Earth."
Indigo says, "But Leviathan was not able to create by himself."
Charlos asks, "She is also referred to as Night?"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "Let me finish with Leviathan, then I'll answer the next
:)"
Charlos says, "ß-)"
Indigo says, "The story goes that he became jealous and tried to sway
their children to rebel against their Mother....."
Indigo says, "It's the standard good vs. evil battle, you see. A battle
for balance in all things."
Indigo says, "Leviathan and the Goddess are locked in such an eternal
struggle."
Indigo says, "And we, as beings, reflect that struggle."
Indigo asks, "Does that make sense?"
Charlos says, "I think so 8-)"
Charlos says, "Understanding doesn't always come the first go-round"
(Indigo grins.)
Charlos says, "That's why I'm conducting these interviews..."
Indigo says, "I understand."
Charlos says, "To figure out what it is that I should be fighting..."
Indigo says, "What I suppose I'm saying is that the story of Leviathan
and the Goddess is an allegory... a metaphor."
Charlos says, "Yes, and you are your Priestesses represent the good
side..."
Indigo says, "A metaphor for the struggle we all have to balance
ourselves in goodness and right."
Indigo says, "Nai, not really. Priestesses also struggle to balance. We
are all in the same place, Priestess or not."
Charlos says, "The Nox Sorora then.. has many elements"
Indigo asks, "You mean deities?"
Charlos says, "Hmm"
(Indigo allows the reporter time to collect his thoughts :))
Charlos says, "heh"
Indigo says, "Ah, you did ask about calling the Goddess "night""
Charlos says, "Yes 8-)"
Indigo says, "Perhaps I shall speak to that."
Indigo says, "The name Mother Night is a euphemism....."
Indigo says, "...for the eternal womb of
creation....."
Indigo says, "the Night from which all things came."
Indigo says, "That is it. It's quite simple."
It's Midnight on Soldi, the 54th day of Spring in the 540th year of the
Ascendancy, and all's well.
Phiros thinks, "Praise Midnight"
Indigo thinks, "Praise Midnight!"
Charlos says, "8-)"
Shepherd thinks, "praise midnight"
Indigo exclaims, "Praise Midnight!"
Manticore thinks, "Is that some sort of Cult gibberish?"
(Indigo smiles and quietly offers a prayer of thanksgiving.)
Charlos asks, "Why do you praise Midnight?"
(Indigo smiles.)
Charlos says, "heh"
Shepherd thinks, "No more than the wreath on the temple"
Indigo says, "Midnight is the Holy Hour....."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "it is the time that divides morning and night....."
Indigo says, "it is in perfect balance."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Indigo smiles.)
Charlos says, "I don't know who appointed Lilit Priestess in charge of
Public Relations..."
(Indigo chuckles softly.)
Charlos says, "but they should re-evaluate, that decision"
Charlos says, "heh"
Indigo says, "Why, thank you. I think."
Charlos says, "Many exiles view the Nox Sorora as a witches"
Charlos says, "Many exiles view the Nox Sorora as a cult of witches"
Indigo says, "Yei. They are quite wrong, but...."
Indigo says, "if we were to spend all of our time worrying about what
others thought....."
Charlos says, "Quite true..."
Indigo says, "we would not be following our calling, our path to
enlightenment."
Charlos says, "Ah"
(Indigo smiles.)
Indigo says, "Well, we are not witches. We do not rely on spells and
such."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Indigo shrugs.)
Indigo says, "I know little of what witches, do, actually."
Indigo says, "I know little of what witches do, actually."
Charlos says, "You do not rely on spells and such..."
Charlos asks, "Rather, you rely on...?"
Indigo says, "The guiding wisdom of the Goddess."
Charlos asks, "It is she who guides you, via the Matre?"
Indigo says, "Yes and no...."
Charlos says, "Or is it an individual relationship, independent..."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Indigo says, "The Matre is not a direct influence, unless she thinks it
necessary to intervene."
Charlos says, "I see"
Indigo says, "We, of course, can go to her, if we need help finding our
way."
Charlos says, "Well, I fear I have taken too much of your time as it
is..."
Indigo says, "Not at all, sir."
Charlos asks, "Is there anything you'd like to add? Any last comments?"
Indigo says, "I am pleased to have been able to talk with you."
Indigo says, "Hm...."
Indigo says, "I would just ask that our citizens....."
Indigo says, "...keep an open mind, and ask questions, before judging."
(Indigo smiles.)
Charlos says, "8-)"
Charlos says, "I thank you for your time and patience"
Indigo says, "And I for your well-researched questions."

#####
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BONES' COOKIN' CORNER

Welcome to Bones' Cookin Corner, the best of Thoom cuisine.

This week: Bones' Fried Urchin Bites.

Bones' Fried urchin bites are very easy, and very good. They are good
for snacks to bring on a long hunt, or for an easy dinner. Your clan
will love them!

Ingredients:

* 12 large urchins
* 1 myrm egg
* 1 cup all purpose flour
* 1/2 cup cold water
* Fish oil for frying

How to Cook:

1. Remove Spines from urchins. Keep for thoothpicks.
2. Put flour in a bowl
3. Pour cold water over the flour and add an egg.
4. Mix the batter lightly.
5. Heat the oil until it bubbles very fast.
6. Dip the urchins in the batter.
7. Fry the urchins for a few min.

*Makes 4 servings
**Be sure to use very cold water.
*** Do not overmix the batter.

Enjoy! Next week I will feature a traditional thoom staple.

-Bones

#####
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SPECIAL REPORT ON TENEBRION
HIGHLIGHTS FROM TENEBRION DISCUSSION GROUP AND ELSEWHWERE

1) From Callia:

Hello everyone,

Recently I was invited by Tenebrion to visit him, and to carry back a
broken Purgatory Pendant. Below is the text of my meeting with him, I
shall include an analysis of what I have learned under seperate cover.
Many of you will have already read the interview with Hekus and Virgil
which followed this meeting with Tenebrion. Axell has already posted
those notes to the Newsgroup, and also provided them to the Fishwrap
(issue #27)

For their invaluable assistance in making the meeting possible I would
like to thank Axell, Odesseus, Thuja and Althea.

Regards,
Callia

Tenebrion says, "Forgive me. They only seem to obey when I
have them in sight."
(Callia nods)
Callia says, "I understand"
Odesseus says, "rotten disobediaent guards"
Odesseus says, ":"p"
Tenebrion says, "Indeed."
Callia says, "so.."
(Callia clears her throat)
(Tenebrion holds out a broken pendant)
(Callia reaches out)
(Odesseus raises an eyebrow)
Tenebrion asks, "Perhaps a step closer?"
Tenebrion hands you a Sword of Souls.
Callia says, "um.."
Tenebrion says, "Wrong hand. Excuse me."
You hand Tenebrion a Sword of Souls.
Callia says, "I'm not given to violence :)"
* Tenebrion offers to sell you a broken purgatory pendant for 0 coins.
(Odesseus frowns)
Tenebrion hands you a broken purgatory pendant.
Odesseus says, "she don't bite"
You equip your broken purgatory pendant.
You show your broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
Odesseus ponders, "but mebbe I do"
Axell ponders, "eek"
(Odesseus nods)
Tenebrion says, "I am hoping your townsfolk can assist me in finding a
way to repair the pendants."
Callia asks, "how many have been broken in your experiments?"
Axell says, "we cant fix them"
Tenebrion says, "I have broken five."
Odesseus exclaims, "eh, five!"
Callia asks, "and .. has each been different?"
Tenebrion says, "As I mentioned, the last rumbling from purgatory
happend
about 2 days before the last breakage."
Callia says, "hmm"
Axell says, "Tenebrion , all our pendants are acting strangly now"
Odesseus says, "rumbling in purg? erf"
Callia says, "aye, both Axell and Manx have reported their pendants
have
flickered oddly"
Tenebrion says, "Which was about three days after I acquired it."
Odesseus asks, "flickered?"
Callia says, "and failed to opperate properly"
Axell says, "yes"
Odesseus says, ">:"p"
Tenebrion says, "I find that news very disturbing."
Callia says, "as do we"
Odesseus asks, "what have you been doing to them?"
Callia says, "you must understand"
Tenebrion says, "I understand the willingness to find me at fault."
Tenebrion says, "I assure you it is not I."
Kiaro says, "hello"
Axell asks, "it is not ?"
Crow asks, "?"
Pinko says, "Hello =)"
Callia says, "you must understand, Purgatory is VERY important to us"
Odesseus ponders, "er, quite a retimue"
Saru says, "hi"
Callia says, "it is far older than our oldest teachers"
Tenebrion says, "As has been explained to me at some length."
Odesseus says, "yeah, without it we are d-e-d, dead"
Callia says, "your actions and motives remain unclear to us"
Tenebrion says, "The place interests me little."
Tenebrion says, "I seek to understand how the pendants open a portal to
transport the physical self."
Odesseus asks, "whyfor?"
Callia asks, "why do you expect that principal behind the pendants will
ever take anyone anywhere except purgatory?"
Tenebrion says, "Transport between planes follows certain rules."
Crow asks, "what rules are those?"
Callia says, "yes.. but these are .. gateways.. to purgatory"
Tenebrion says, "Nature's I assume."
Callia says, "one might go so far as to assume they are actually
encapsulated
imperfections in purgatory itself"
Tenebrion says, "A gateway must be directed."
Crow asks, "between what planes?"
Callia says, "yes, but my question...."
Callia says, "is whether it is the pendants that have the power.. or an
aspect
of purgatory itself"
Callia says, "if it is the latter..."
Tenebrion says, "The pendants are mere keys to a doorway. That much is
clear
to me."
Callia says, "hmm"
Tenebrion says, "With proper instruction the doorway will open
elsewhere."
Crow asks, "letting out what?"
Callia asks, "and will it still open on purgatory for us, once you have
turned
it elsewhere?"
Tenebrion says, "That would depend on its use Crow."
Callia says, "Purgatory appears to be an artifact"
Callia says, "we have reason to believe it is a made thing"
Tenebrion says, "The pendants are individual entities."
Crow asks, "pendant can be bad?"
Callia says, "hmm"
Crow asks, "or good?"
Tenebrion says, "To change one will not effect any others."
Axell asks, "what about Mirrors ?"
Odesseus asks, "so Tenebrion, mind if I asked a question?"
Callia ponders, "I wish I could ask Hekus about this"
Callia says, "please Ode"
Tenebrion says, "This is supported by the difference between a pendant
which has
been used and one which has not."
Crow asks, "are pendants nuetral?"
Callia says, "hmm"
Odesseus asks, "so what do you wanna DO with these, anyway, if your not
interested
in Purgatory... what plane you shootin' for?"
Tenebrion says, "No particular one."
(Odesseus raises an eyebrow)
Tenebrion says, "It would be..."
Callia asks, "since you clearly WISH to learn this plannar travel.....
it is safe
to say you have an interest, yes?"
Tenebrion says, "convenient to move between planes."
Tenebrion says, "I am very interested."
Callia says, "the only Plannar contact we have records of was
devestating"
Crow asks, "how many planes are there?"
Tenebrion says, "I suspect there are infinite planes."
Odesseus asks, "like, travel-wise? get from here to Puddleby in a
blink?"
Callia says, "so..."
Odesseus ponders, "oops, I shut up now"
Crow ponders, "infinite possibiliies"
Tenebrion says, "Moving to and from purgatory is not devasting for
you."
Callia says, "how would YOU propose to address our concerns about the
safety of
Purgatory..."
Callia asks, "and still learn what you wish to know?"
Tenebrion says, "I need your pendants to continue my research."
Axell says, "yes, but your experiments seems to be very dangerous for
the Exiles"
Tenebrion says, "It is not in my interest for your people to distrust
me."
Tenebrion says, "I will do whatever I can to build a trust between us."
Crow says, "or could be our gateway back to homeland"
(Callia ponders)
Odesseus says, "well, I'm not convinced"
Callia says, "knowledge might be something that exiles might be willing
to consider"
Tenebrion says, "If these pendants may be forged, they may be
repaired."
Callia says, "you have learned something certainly from the ones you
have broken
thus far"
Tenebrion asks, "Have I not shared each and every piece of information
I have
unearthed?"
Odesseus asks, "how do we know that?"
Callia says, "as far as we know you have :)"
(Tenebrion laughs.)
Tenebrion says, "I give you my word that I have."
(Callia nods)
(Odesseus shrugs)
Thuja says, "The nature of your experiments are very unclear to us. We
would like
to know more."
Odesseus says, "if you are a man of your word, than that is good"
Crow says, "he needs our help"
Callia asks, "are you prepared to teach these Plannar travel skills
once you have
learned them?"
Tenebrion says, "In truth I cannot answer that."
Callia says, "hmm"
Tenebrion says, "I cannot make promises to use knowledge I do not yet
know."
Crow says, "and it seems we in turn need his help"
Callia says, "well.. you DO have access to knowledge that we don't"
Callia says, "your own store of knowledge regarding the Undine is vast"
Tenebrion says, "As you have knowledge that I do not."
Callia says, "yes, but you are asking for our help"
Tenebrion says, "The undine are a folly."
Callia says, "and we are concerned for our safety"
Tenebrion says, "They matter not in the slightest."
Callia says, "your brother (whom we have met) also has much knowledge"
Tenebrion asks, "Which brother?"
Crow ponders, "undine are a distraction"
Callia says, "if the Undine do not matter, then you will not mind
teaching us of
them will you :)"
Callia says, "and before I spoke of Umbrion"
Callia says, "he knows much of Fire magic I'm told"
Tenebrion says, "He does."
Callia says, "my point is, you are asking much of us"
Crow ponders, "its clear we need a feduciary relationship with this
man"
Tenebrion says, "But he does not believe you can be useful to us."
Odesseus ponders, "that's be handy"
Callia says, "but you do believe we can :)"
Callia says, "so that is not a problem :)"
Tenebrion says, "I believe you can, yes."
Callia says, "the apparent gain, at the moment seems small to exiles
collectivily"
Saru says, "heh"
Odesseus ponders, "owww"
Crow says, "thats caue we ar all divided"
Callia says, "and the risks large"
Tenebrion asks, "So your own research into the problems with purgatory
goes well?"
(Callia smiles)
Callia says, "as well as can be expected :)"
Callia says, "it would be nice to be able to trust a neighbor"
Odesseus says, "Tenebrion..."
Tenebrion says, "It would."
Crow asks, "so, what do you need from us exactly?"
Callia says, "he want's more pendants Crow"
Tenebrion says, "I need a supply of pendants."
Odesseus ponders, "supply!"
Tenebrion says, "I cannot reproduce them myself."
Callia asks, "how many do you expect to need?"
Odesseus says, "nor can we"
Crow asks, "how many more?"
Tenebrion says, "As many as it takes. No more."
(Callia laughs)
Callia says, "an honest answer :)"
Crow says, "thats more than I have"
Callia says, "well, I can do little more than try to explain the
general feelings
of the exiles"
Callia says, "many feel that YOU are the cause of the problems"
Tenebrion says, "My friends keep me well informed of the general
feeling towards me."
(Odesseus chuckles)
Crow asks, "how do the pendants helps us exiles on a personal level?"
Callia says, "I'm sure they do"
Odesseus asks, "one lil question?"
Odesseus asks, "Tenebrion, do you believe there is a plane in which the
dead reside?"
Tenebrion says, "There are many planes on which the "dead" reside."
(Odesseus looks confused)
Odesseus asks, "many?"
Tenebrion says, ""Dead" is a very difficult term to define."
(Odesseus frowns)
Callia says in People, "I don't know if he speaks Fen, but I believe we
are at
an impass"
Tenebrion says, "You yourself exist on many planes at once."
Odesseus says in People, "prolly does."
Callia says in People, "perhaps, perhaps not"
Odesseus says in People, "I think he's cagey"
Callia says in People, "certainly"
Axell says in People, "I believe he doesnt care about our safety"
Callia says in People, "I believe you're correct Axell"
Odesseus says in People, "I think he has a specific goal, too"
Axell asks in People, "so ?"
(Odesseus composes himself)
(Tenebrion looks puzzled.)
Crow says, "go outside and purr"
Axell says, "sorry"
Odesseus asks, "do you propose to finance these pendents?"
Crow asks, "we on opposite sides or something?"
Axell says, "translation: I don't believe Tenebrion cares about our
safety"
Tenebrion chants in an ancient language.
Callia says, "no, I believe he intends for us to do that"
Odesseus says, "erf. Coins doen grow on bushes, ya know"
Odesseus ponders, "nice chant, rhythmic"
(Callia sighs)
Crow says, "he wants to help us"
Callia says, "if exiles in general believed they could trust you more,
things would
go more smoothly"
Tenebrion says, "I hope that if you find a way to repair the pendants
it might free
the trade for them a little."
(Odesseus wrinkles his nose)
Callia says, "it is an issue of risk management"
Crow asks, "dos he look like a darshak?"
Callia says, "the risk seems huge"
Callia says, "he has employed Darshak Crow"
Tenebrion says, "Things might go more smoothly for me if I felt I could
trust your
people more as well."
Tenebrion says, "I have been lied to, invaded, stolen from..."
(Callia nods)
Crow asks, "what was stolen?"
Tenebrion says, "These are not elements one usually uses to build
trust."
Thuja says, "One should know not to trust Malkor..."
Tenebrion says, "Malkor stole a sword from me."
Callia says, "on that I'll agree"
(Odesseus rolls his eyes)
(Callia shrugs)
Tenebrion says, "I know that now Thuja."
(Thuja nods)
Odesseus says, "Malkor, that spriggan"
Callia says, "You however still have an abiding interest"
Callia says, "you also claim we do"
Crow says, "we need answers, and it seems you do too"
Tenebrion says, "I believe you do as well."
Callia says, "but we have little proof"
Callia says, "if you could offer proof of what you say regarding the
flaw(s) in
purgatory"
Callia says, "that would convince many exiles..."
Tenebrion asks, "What proof would be acceptable?"
(Crow offers his services as liason)
Callia asks, "what sort of documentation do you have on the problems
you've
encounted so far?"
Crow says, "my soul"
Tenebrion shows his book to everyone.
Odesseus ponders, "very nice"
Callia says, "a copy of those notes, in a language we could read, might
help"
Tenebrion says, "It might."
Callia says, "I sense a 'But""
(Odesseus snorts)
Tenebrion says, "I am reluctant to arm your people."
Tenebrion says, "Every move I have made has come back to bite me."
Callia says, "then we DO share something :)"
Callia asks, "can't you see that we feel much the same?"
Odesseus says, "like gettin here, by invite, was a walk in the park"
Tenebrion says, "I understand completely."
Crow asks, "you dont trust axell?"
Callia says, "yes, the hostility of your guards is quite troublesome"
Tenebrion says, "It is not that I do not trust any of you
individually."
Crow says, "comprende"
Tenebrion says, "Save Malkor."
(Odesseus chuckles)
Callia says, "you could perhaps set up a meeting point closer to the
shore"
Callia says, "somewhere easier for us to get to"
Tenebrion says, "I am creating a servant to send to your town."
Callia says, "hmm"
Thuja says, "Excuse me."
(Odesseus waves)
Callia asks, "a servant?"
Tenebrion says, "It should be there within the next few weeks to visit
and discuss
matters with you."
Odesseus asks, "eh, again?"
(Odesseus sighs)
Callia says, "hmm"
Crow says, "tell him to choose confidants wisely"
Callia says, "the soldiers you sent previously were not long on
negotation skills"
Tenebrion says, "You must understand my reluctance to visit you
personally."
Callia says, "certainly"
Callia says, "I'm not proposing that"
Odesseus asks, "what's wrong with us coming to you?"
Crow asks, "should we set up a council?"
Callia says, "I'm only proposing a ... meeting area, on the shore of
this island"
Odesseus says, "as we are, so far"
Tenebrion says, "I am creating a servant through whom I may communicate
more directly."
Callia says, "ahh"
Crow asks, "a leader fro each clan?"
Axell ponders, "creating a servant ?! ?"
Callia says, "a ...."
Callia says, "golem...?"
Axell asks, "what kind of 'servant' ?"
Tenebrion says, "Of sorts. That is a term I am familiar with."
Callia asks, "a puppet of sorts?"
(Odesseus is creeped out)
Tenebrion says, "Exactly."
Callia says, "hmm"
Odesseus ponders, "a zombie?"
Callia asks, "and what visage will this creature have?"
Axell asks, "are we ready to discuss with a servant ?"
Callia says, "I fear it may scare many exiles"
Tenebrion says, "I will make it appear as lifelike as possible."
(Callia nods)
(Odesseus shivers slightly)
Axell says, "but its not"
Crow says, "we eagerly await the arrival of your servant"
Callia says, "well, if YOU could apply your own intellect in a more
direct fashion"
Callia says, "even through such a servant.."
Callia says, "it might help things"
Tenebrion says, "It is a costly endeavor. I hope it is more successful
than sending a
mere representative."
Callia says, "I will also ponder the matter of what evidence would be
convincing"
Crow says, "like the plant needs sun to grow and give us oxygen"
Callia says, "it might help to know what evidence you would be perpared
to offer us :)"
Tenebrion says, "A tricky question."
Callia says, "certainly :)"
Tenebrion asks, "How do I answer that and not give more away than with
which I am
comfortable?"
Callia says, "as I said, this is an issue in risk management"
Callia says, "it is risk for us,"
Callia says, "and risk for you"
(Tenebrion nods)
Axell says, "the servant is certainly not a 'proof' of trust"
Callia asks, "can you learn what you wish to know even if Purgatory is
destroyed?"
Tenebrion says, "I am not sure yet."
(Callia smiles)
Callia says, "then you also have an interest in preserving it"
Tenebrion says, "I can learn more from a doorway which is working than
one which is not."
(Callia nods)
Callia says, "perhaps there is some middle ground...."
Callia says, "some less charged issue which might serve us both"
Tenebrion says, "If purgatory were severely damaged it would impede my
research."
Callia says, "that we could work on together, and build trust"
Axell says, "Callia , most exiles will never help him if we have no
'proof' of safety"
Tenebrion asks, "An issue such as?"
Callia says, "there are several"
(Callia smiles)
Callia says, "we have on going difficulties with an individual named
Qual"
Tenebrion says, "I have heard of him."
Tenebrion says, "He has expressed an interest in acquiring pendants as
well."
(Odesseus growls slightly)
Tenebrion says, "I have not been able to determine whether he has
received any."
Callia says, "if there is any aid you could render us against him.. it
might cause
exiles to trust you more"
Callia says, "I don't believe he has"
Callia says, "he's quite ..... rude"
Callia says, "callous"
Tenebrion says, "I would not choose to make an enemy where I have
none."
(Callia nods)
Callia says, "another issue"
Callia says, "to the south of our town"
Callia says, "there lies a strange artifact"
(Odesseus nods)
Callia says, "it appears to be a mirror"
Tenebrion says, "Yes. Mirrors appeared here as well."
Callia says, "we have reason to believe it is a gateway"
Callia says, "but it is sealed, or broken"
Odesseus ponders, "problems?"
Saru says, "thanks :)"
Axell says, "can you keep your gards away please ! People are trying to
leave"
Tenebrion says, "It was through mirrors that your people first came
here."
Callia says, "if you could aid us in opening that...."
Crow says, "thankee=)"
Tenebrion says, "I will call my guards in the courtyard."
Odesseus says, ">:"/"
You are now speaking the people language.
Callia says in People, "troubling"
Odesseus says in People, "grrrfff"
You show your broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
Pinko says, "=)"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I will hold my troops in the courtyard for
the others to
leave in peace."
Odesseus says in People, "he speaks in allegory and allusion"
Pinko says, "thank you"
Odesseus says in People, "never direct"
You are now speaking the common language.
Callia says, "Tenebrion is holding his guards"
(Callia nods)
Callia says, "you can leave now"
Callia says, "he's holding his guards"
Axell says, "you can leave now, quick"
Pinko says, "see you =)"
(Kiaro smiles.)
(Callia waves.)
You concentrate on sending your message to Tenebrion.
Crow says, "all he wants is pendants"
Odesseus ponders, "what does he want...."
Callia ponders, "hmm... I wonder what Hekus will think of this"
Crow asks, "whats the big deal?"
Axell says, "thank you Tenebrion"
(Odesseus nods)
(Callia smiles)
Odesseus says, "aye"
Odesseus says, "Tshahr'tsei"
Callia says, "if you could offer your skill at attempting to repair
this other portal
I spoke of...."
Crow asks, "are we that possessive?"
Tenebrion says, "You were here by invitation. I will do my best to
extend courtesy to
people invited here."
(Odesseus nods)
Tenebrion says, "The mirrors are as much a puzzle for me as they are
you."
Callia says, "hmm"
Tenebrion says, "I thought you had placed them at first."
Callia says, "no"
(Odesseus sighs)
Tenebrion says, "There is clearly another force at work."
Callia says, "a puzzle perhaps, but perhaps also, we have different
pieces"
Crow says, "we have one impassable mirror"
Callia says, "if we put them together, the picture might be more clear"
Crow says, "you said plural"
Callia says, "Mirrors are common"
Tenebrion says, "Mirrors appeared on this island to bring you here. You
speak of others
as well."
Callia says, "I have seen many"
Callia says, "few are stable though"
Odesseus says, "they come and go, it seems"
Callia says, "this one ... to the south of our town, was"
Crow asks, "you saying we can contro them?"
Callia says, "sometime shortly after the Ripture war, it stopped
working"
Tenebrion says, "You speak frequently of the war."
(Callia nods)
Crow says, "the war we won"
Callia says, "survived"
Tenebrion asks, "Against whom was the war fought?"
(Callia narrows her eyes)
Tenebrion says, "I have not heard tell of the enemy."
Callia says, "we are unsure"
Odesseus says, "we're not sure"
Callia says, "we believe it was the forces from the Land of Shadow"
Crow asks, "moon, sun, and earth?"
Callia says, "but we are suspisious of the means of implementation"
Tenebrion says, "It would seem a detail worth being sure of."
Callia says, "certainly"
Odesseus says, "it remains hidden"
Callia asks, "are you offering sureity?"
Tenebrion says, "I had little interest in your war."
Callia says, "that isn't an answer to my quesstion :)"
Crow asks, "whyt brings you here now?"
Tenebrion says, "I regret now I did not pay more attention."
Tenebrion says, "I have been here for centuries. Long before you
arrived."
Callia says, "the first thing we noticed.. was the Soulglasses"
Odesseus thinks to you, "figures"
Callia says, "the oldest records we have seen...."
Callia says, "indicate that such devices might have been used by the
Orga .... against
the race of Winged Centaurs"
Althea is now Clanning.
Tenebrion says, "Neither race concerns me."
Callia says, "the use of these devices...."
(Odesseus has to go, he is falling dead asleep)
Callia says, "appeared to precipatate the Tears"
Odesseus says, ":"p"
(Axell waves)
Crow says, "bye"
You concentrate on sending your message to Althea.
Callia says, "the Tears..."
Callia says, "appeared to open the way to our world.."
Althea thinks to you, "sure. omw"
Althea is sharing experiences with you.
Callia says, "from forces of the Land of Shadow"
(Axell nods)
Callia says, "the Soulglasses ...."
Callia says, "and your soulswords..."
Althea thinks to you, "where is it best to enter the island?"
You concentrate on sending your message to Althea.
Tenebrion says, "I do not believe the Sword of Souls has anything to do
with the
soulglasses."
Callia says, "some exiles feel the .. effects are similar"
Tenebrion says, "I find no reference to the soulglasses in the
fabrication history
of the swords."
Callia says, "that doesn't prove your point :)"
Crow ponders, "soulssword?"
Callia says, "just because no connection is mentioned.. doesn't mean
there isn't one"
Tenebrion says, "It is not conclusive proof, I agree."
Callia asks, "what DO the Soul Swords do ?"
Tenebrion says, "They kill effectively."
Althea thinks to you, "oops.. found the other side"
Callia says, "yes, but after"
Crow asks, "where do I get one?"
Tenebrion says, "I can offer you one Crow."
Callia asks, "what happens to the souls of the creatures they kill?"
Crow asks, "serious?"
Callia says, "all he wants is a Pendant Crow"
Tenebrion says, "I will trade one for a pendant."
Crow asks, "how do I get a pendant?"
You concentrate on sending your message to Althea.
Axell says, "pendants cost a lot and fighters cant get them"
Althea thinks to you, "yup... jes lost a lil ;)"
Callia says, "ask a 4th circle healer, nicely :)"
Crow says, "i like my axe"
You concentrate on sending your message to Althea.
Axell ponders, "yay :)"
Crow says, ";)"
Callia says, "we are concerned that the swords alter the natural
balance of life"
Tenebrion says, "Quite the opposite."
Crow asks, "people have these things?"
Callia says, "some Crow"
Tenebrion says, "The swords address that balance."
Callia says, "hmm"
Callia says, "most of your knowledge seems to be ..."
Callia says, "focused on death"
Callia says, "the implications trouble us"
Tenebrion says, "A subject which interests me."
Crow says, "this does trouble me too"
Tenebrion asks, "You are not interested in Life and Death?"
Crow says, "soulsword actually sounds kinda evil"
Tenebrion shows his Sword of Souls to everyone.
Callia says, "I am interested in knowledge :)"
Crow says, "puddleby pretty clean of evil"
Callia says, "it is hard for us to understand how a artificer of tools
of distruction
might be able to help repair a powerful healing artifact"
Althea thinks to you, "found a grave"
(Axell nods)
Crow says, "please dont taint us"
You concentrate on sending your message to Althea.
Althea thinks to you, "caption is " Here I stood, and here I lie
Bless'd earth 'tween me
and evil's eye""
Odesseus thinks, "Night Exiles! Don't take any wooden coins from a
certain island inhabitant!"
Crow says, "or corrupt us"
You gave good karma to Odesseus.
Crow says, "that would be too easy"
Tenebrion says, "The fabrication of swords is a very different matter
to the study of portals."
(Callia nods)
Odesseus is no longer Clanning.
Tenebrion says, "Surely you have many interests of your own."
Callia asks, "what evidence do you have of your skill in this other
area?"
Crow asks, "could you show me the power this sword has?"
Callia says, "(of course)"
Althea thinks to you, "wooo"
Axell ponders, "what kind of knowledge he can shares with us ?"
Tenebrion says, "I would be pleased to in exchange for a pendant."
Tenebrion asks, "Evidence of skill in examining the pendants?"
Callia says, "you claim you can offer us knowledge regarding the
problems of Purgatory"
Callia says, "I ask what evidence of skill in this field you have"
Crow asks, "is there a prob. in purg?"
Tenebrion says, "I can examine the relationship the pendants have to
purgatory."
Callia says, "yes Crow"
Axell says, "yes Crow"
Crow asks, "whats th prob?"
Callia says, "it's giving off strange emenations"
Axell says, "our pendants are not working very well"
Tenebrion says, "I would point to the fact that I have studied this for
well under a year
and seemed to have uncovered details of which you were unaware."
Althea says, "greetings"
Crow asks, "what do pendants do?"
Callia says, "thanks for coming Althea"
Tenebrion says, "Greeting Althea."
Althea asks, "sure thing... what's up?"
Althea says, "Greetings Lord Tenebrion"
Callia says, "we are ... discussing things with Tenebrion..."
(Tenebrion's eyes roll back in his head)
Althea asks, "yes?"
(Callia glances at Tenebrion)
Crow asks, "what do pendants do?"
You show your broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
Axell says, "allow healer to enter the purgatory"
Callia says, "they enable Healers to enter purgatory without departing"
Crow asks, "you cant without?"
Crow says, "oh"
Callia says, "without departing"
Tenebrion asks, "Who are your astronomers?"
Callia says, "we have 3"
Crow asks, "and that is a big deal?"
Axell ponders, "Chum ?"
Callia says, "well..."
Callia says, "there are others as well"
Callia says, "however.. three are ... forthcoming with their knowledge"
Crow asks, "cause you daont want to depart?"
Callia says, "their names are Gride, Grank, and Groon"
Crow says, "seems kinda petty"
Tenebrion asks, "Are they wise?"
Callia says, "they study the movements of the sun, moon and stars quite
carefully"
Callia says, "they are through"
Tenebrion asks, "They live in your town?"
Callia says, "but.. they leave wisdom to those they teach"
Althea says, "the wander the lands."
Callia says, "they pass through town on occasion"
Althea says, "the main island of puddleby"
Callia says, "mostly they wander the lands... looking at the skies"
Callia says, "learning..."
Callia says, "they have many students..."
Callia says, "mostly those of my profession"
Crow says, "unless urg ca lead to other planes"
Tenebrion asks, "Who are their students?"
(Althea listens)
Callia says, "all who are Mystics"
Tenebrion asks, "Those of the Mystic Council?"
Callia says, "and many who are below that station, but are also in the
guild"
Callia says, "Council memebers could be considered such yes"
Callia asks, "why do you ask?"
Tenebrion says, "To learn which of you might have certain skills."
Callia asks, "and are you answered?"
Tenebrion says, "Astronomy is another interest of ours."
Althea says, ""ours?""
Althea asks, "you and your brothers?"
Callia asks, "you and your brothers?"
Tenebrion says, "Myself and my brothers."
(Callia giggles)
Althea asks, "who are the other brothers?"
Crow ponders, "so somethig healers once didnt have is now something
they cant part with"
Callia asks, "what do you think it would be like if Purgatory was
destroyed Crow?"
Crow says, "dont get on my case"
Callia asks, "how many times have departed?"
Tenebrion asks, "Althea, is that a mark of the Pogue Mahone you wear?"
Althea says, "yes it is."
Callia says, "you asked a question, I'm trying to help you understand"
Tenebrion asks, "May I speak with you privately for a moment?"
(Althea nods)
Crow says, "sounds like he is trying to help"
(Callia glances at Althea and frowns)
Tenebrion asks, "Would you others excuse us for a moment?"

Tenebrion: An analysis

    By virtue of my recent lengthy conversation, I have had a chance to
study Lord Tenebrion in considerable detail and herein I write my
observations: To use the words of Odessesus: Tenebrion is cagey. He
knows much, he says little, he is very difficult to pin down on any
subject. Difficult for me at least, perhaps craftier minds than mine
might fair better.

    I shall begin as much as possible, with the basics:

     1) Tenebrion is proud.

    He is a noble, he holds a position of hereditary authority. His
respect for any who have not proven that they are deserving of such, by
dint of force seems limited. He is quick to anger, and quick to lash
out at the cause of his anger.

     2) Tenebrion is a Necromancer.

    Among his forces are many, many Undine. He controls them, he creates
them. He has admitted as much. The writings Lundar discovered in his
tower indicate his researches into the subject, and his evident
frustration at being unable to create true life.

    I should also mention that I consider Necromancy a Black Art.

     3) Tenebrion is interested in Purgatory.

    His interest (he claims) is not in Purgatory itself, but rather in
the method of Plannar travel which is employed by 4th circle healers.
In service of this interest on his part, he has begun a campaign to
collect and study Purgatory Pendants, to my knowledge he has acquired
and managed to break 5 of them to date. He refuses to discuss the
planes he wishes to visit. Among the other questions I asked him in our
recent meeting was if he would be willing to teach his knowledge of
Plannar travel, he was evasive on the subject, without actually saying
no. Clearly he expects this travel to be a powerful tool, and he
doesn't wish to share it.

     4) Tenebrion is a destroyer.

    It would probably not be incorrect to say that he has a genius for
destruction. He destroys, but he cannot repair, nor it seems can he
create much easily. He creates the Sword of Souls, but can only do that
once a Zodiac, in our conversation he referred to creating a servant to
sent amongst us. He explained that it was a very costly endeavor for
him. Whenever he refers to creating something, he explains how
difficult it is for him.
    Yet destruction seems easy for Tenebrion. The one item he does
create is a tool of destruction. He breaks Purgatory Pendants easily, a
thing which amazed Virgil, who believed that they were unbreakable.
    It is important to note: Tenebrion is incapable of repairing the
pendants he breaks, and yet he claims he can help us repair Purgatory,
this seems to me to represent a fallacy.

     5) Tenebrion has a considerable store of knowledge.

    Tenebrion is well versed in the creation of Undine, including
Banshees, which we had not seen prior to our first meetings with him.
He has stated that he considers this knowledge trivial, so it might be
something that would be easy to get him to teach. The Art of Necromancy
as I have said, is a dark one, however, it remains an area of expertise
on his part, and it may be that there are those among us who would be
interested in learning it.
    Tenebrion has amassed a store of knowledge on the Purgatory
Pendants, and on Plannar travel, this store of knowledge is incomplete
at the moment, however, it might still afford us exiles some useful
information. He seems unwilling to share this information. Specifically
he said he was "reluctant to arm exiles" it is important to note that
his mind set is very .... militant, he considers this knowledge a
weapon. He considers the knowledge itself potentially dangerous to him
but also he phrases things mentally as weapons. Both facts are
interesting.
    Tenebrion has an interest in Astronomy, he asked who are Astronomers
were, who among us studied the stars, although he avoided explaining
why. Obviously this points to the Mystic's Guild, as we are the ones
who study the stars most fervently.
    Tenebrion's brother, Umbrion, is a Fire Mage. While Umbrion thinks
exiles are a waste of time, Tenebrion does not. Tenebrion thinks that
for a time at least, we can be useful to him. My guess is that he
thinks we can be useful pawns in achieving his aims, however, this
still provides a leverage point for approaching Umbrion. It is possible
that Umbrion could be persuaded to teach something of his Fire Magic
skills by Tenebrion if the latter thought there was reason.

     6) There are gaps in Tenebrion's knowledge.

    Obviously, Tenebrion doesn't understand Plannar travel yet, not to
the extent that he wishes. He also is mystified by the Mirrors. He
lacks the skills to manipulate (via either creation or repair) the
gateways known to us as Mirrors. Again, I personally feel that this
highlights his lack of ability to aid us in repairing whatever damage
might have been done to Purgatory.

     7) The Sword of Souls.

    One of the only things we have seen Tenebrion create is the Sword of
Souls. The process of creation is hard for him, he is able to do it
only once a Zodiac, this has implications that the creation process is
linked to the Lunar cycle. Speculation on my part would be that it must
be created during the dark of the Moon. Further support for this idea
would be that the weapon seems to effect Spirit. When Tenebrion and I
spoke of the weapon, I expressed fears that it destroyed the natural
balance by absorbing the spirit of the creatures it killed. Tenebrion
was quick to deny this, he claimed that the weapon restored the natural
balance of things, by killing what it struck effectively.
    The natural balance of life in the Lok'Grotton islands is for life,
Spiritual energy to be recycled, to be returned to some sort of
accumulation of Spirit. For Tenebrion, the natural life cycle is for
things to die, and to be gone. Thus, what the Sword of Souls does, is
to drain off energy which would normally be returned to the Islands.
This weakens the powers of the islands on which we all rely. Each Sword
of Souls which is in use will gradually siphon off the energy of our
islands, "restoring" the natural balance. Needless to say, this would
be bad for us in general.

     8) Tenebrion is culpable in the problems regarding Purgagory.

    Tenebrion is quick to point out that instabilies we have noted
regarding Purgatory do not have a direct corralation in time with the
experiements he has done. Yet Gurgi reports that he said the following:

     "After discussion with Tyking II, we have developed a theory. There
is a new being, if you will, that is manifesting itself in the power of
the broken pendants, and attacking the plane known as purgatory."

    He claims not to be responsible, and yet he claims that the problems
are caused by a "new being" which is feeding on the energy of the
broken pendants. Tenebrion broke the pendants, he created the situation
in which whatever this "new being" is, was formed. His continued denial
of cuplability on this issue is .... distressing. He either considers
lack of direct malice on his part to be plausable denial, or else he
considers us stupid enough to believe it. Either of these possibilites
is troubling.

     In conclusion:

    I do not believe we can trust Tenebrion, in Axell's words, he
doesn't care about us. He will wring every advantage he can from us,
and then discard us like yesterday's fishwrap. His style is
destructive, and vindictive. He destroys casually, ignoring the
consequences, and ignoring his own responsibility therein.

By my hand, on the 3rd day of Summer, in the year 540, Callia

*

2) From Jeanne:
     I do not know what place I have to voice my opinion, but I have
been a silent observer of these events and a member of the Clan Lord
Puddleby Government eGroups as well. What I think is a problem is that,
even after some kind of consensus is reached, how is anything going to
be done? The exiles of Puddleby do not have one voice or even a few
voices. There are no coordinating voices and even the clans are
relatively powerless in this manner.
     I am concerned about this because I agree with Gurgi and the others
who voiced reasons why Tenebrion, and perhaps even Tyking II, should
not be trusted. In fact, they should even be directly opposed so that
their aims cannot be realized. However, how is going to happen? There
are still some exiles who give Tenebrion their Pendants and others who
are helping in other ways. I am concerned about this and I feel
powerless to do anything about it. I don't want to just sit on the
sidelines and see everything come crashing down around me without at
least trying to prevent what seems to be great evil. Does anyone have
any suggestions? -- Jeanne of the Light & Shadow clan
Initiate to the Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery Practitioner of a never
before seen fighting style, TBA 2nd circle fighter and wielder of cloth
bracers

*

3) From Gurgi:
You speak as if it is obvious to anyone that Tenebrion has good
intentions and cares for the safety of Puddleby - like it is somehow
simply outrageous that anyone would suggest he is doing something bad!
But this simply isnt so.

1) Tenebrion has some unknown relationship with the Darshak.  He has
employed some or was allied with them at one point and may still be.
2) He creates undine just as the Darshaks do - though he claims they
are different and admittedly thee is evidence that this is so.
3) He conducts experiments with purgatory pendants that are disrupting
purgatory and creating problems with all the pendants.
4) He hands out soulblades that act suspiciously similar to
soulglasses.
5) He claims the crystals have nothing to do with the ripture war, but
then we find out that they open tears.

These things point to alot of things, but they certainly dont point to
a guy that is beyond suspicion.

If you link all these together you see someone that has all the
ingredients for a ripture war.  Perhaps he even helped the Darshak and
provided them with the means to use tears against us in the ripture
war.

I suggest we keep the crystal shards out of Tenebrion's hands.  I
suspect they are the shards of a soulglass and if he gets enough of
them he can create a soulglass.  And once one is created they can
replicate.

The soulblades probably do work alot like the soulglasses, though they
are not as powerful.  The small creatures that they work their magic on
are probably sucked into the void.  We know from the ripture war that
feeding the void is the first step to creating tears.

And what was it that saved us in the last Ripture war?  The Dialyth. 
The source of power that i believe links us to purgatory.  If Tenebrion
can destroy that link there would be nothing to save us in the second
ripture war.

As far as the emmissary goes, Tenebrion was stupid to send an emmissary
to town when we have already told him we have no control over
individuals that are set on killing the emmissary.  If he wants to do a
meeting with exiles outside his keep, he should do it in the badlands
where we have some control over our own.

But at least we show SOME restraint!  Only a few individuals have
attacked his emmissaries, but every single one of his gaurds and undine
attack every single exile that comes to talk with him, even when he has
invited them directly himself!  He has a worse record than us in this
repect.

-Gurgi

*

4) From Tyking II:
First of all, the Swords of Souls existed before Tenebrion even knew
about us, so it can't be that, as we would have noticed something,
however, something may be channeling it's energy through the energy
fo... Ooops, i've said too much. :-| Either way, it's probably not the
Swords that are causing the disturbances in purgatory.

I'll tell you a bit. You know that the crystals disappear, right? Since
matter cannot be destroyed, the crystals must go somewhere. I know you
can figure this out.

Grrrrr! Can't any of you understand? Tenebrion is not trying to destroy
purgatory! He even sent a peaceful emisarry to town, who I might add,
was MURDERED by the exiles! None of you stand a chance in a war with
Tenebrion, and a war with him would be pointless! Go ahead and banish
me for not standing by a murderous anarchist mob! When you realize that
your entire dilemma was false and that Tenebrion was NEVER at fault,
then we'll see who's in a tricky situation! I've had about enough of
this.

Look, the crystals are dangerous, they can open tears, when they
disappear, they disappear into the void! Thats why I told you to think
of the Soulglasses! There is no cover up! Now, don't expect any
information from me ever again, from now on, I am the informant of
Tenebrion only, and I will share none of my knowledge with the town.

One final thought. Who said that Purgatory belongs to us? Tenebrion has
a right to study purgatory, and if you start to blame him because a
being is feeding off the broken pendants, you're not helping much. You
all seem to misunderstand it. Tenebrion did NOT create the being, and
it is just a THEORY, we have no solid proof to back it up.

Also, the last time strange emanations occurred from purgatory,
Tenebrion was not around, and had not aquired a new pendant. Therefore,
the energy wave that killed j'jh in purgatory was NOT the work of
Tenebrion breaking a pendant.

*

5) Gurgi and Tyking II discuss:

Gurgi: 1) Tenebrion has some unknown relationship with the Darshak.  He
has employed some or was allied with them at one point and may still
be.

Tyking: I have the truth on that.
Tenebrion employed the Darshaks only for transport. He himself did not
have any ships, so he bought them from the Darshaks. He no longer
employs the Darshaks since the guard rebellion.

Gurgi: 2) He creates undine just as the Darshaks do - though he claims
they are different and admittedly thee is evidence that this is so.

Tyking: That is true, but why is this bad?

Gurgi: 3) He conducts experiments with purgatory pendants that are
disrupting purgatory and creating problems with all the pendants.

Tyking: It is not his experiments that are disrupting purgatory, it is
the being we discussed that is doing so. And no, his experiments did
NOT create the being.

Gurgi: 4) He hands out soulblades that act suspiciously similar to
soulglasses.

Tyking: They act nothing like Soulglasses, I know this for a fact.

Gurgi: 5) He claims the crystals have nothing to do with the ripture
war, but then we find out that they open tears. These things point to
alot of things, but they certainly don't point to a guy that is beyond
suspicion.

Tyking: I'm not objecting to the town having suspicions, it's perfectly
normal and acceptable, although I would rather they not exist.

Gurgi: If you link all these together you see someone that has all the
ingredients for a ripture war.  Perhaps he even helped the Darshak and
provided them with the means to use tears against us in the ripture
war.

Tyking: No... You have no right to do that.

Gurgi: I suggest we keep the crystal shards out of Tenebrion's hands.
I suspect they are the shards of a soulglass and if he gets enough of
them he can create a soulglass.  And once one is created they can
replicate.

Tyking: Oh of course! We must venture into a place owned by someone
else and steal his possessions that existed a LONG time ago because we
think they are bad! Of course! If we can't use them, they must be evil
because Puddleby is perfect! Tenebrion has no right to use things that
he owns!

Gurgi: The soulblades probably do work alot like the soulglasses,
though they are not as powerful.

Tyking: Nope. They do less damage, that is true.

Gurgi: The small creatures that they work their magic on are probably
sucked into the void.

Tyking: Wrong again, creatures of many sizes have been affected, from a
rat to a Large sand Wurm. The souls are absorbed into the sword, and
the sword has no way of manipulating the void. Tenebrion has been using
the swords for centuries, and nothing like what you specify has
occurred.

Gurgi: We know from the ripture war that feeding the void is the first
step to creating tears.

Tyking: True.

Gurgi: And what was it that saved us in the last Ripture war?  The
Dialyth.  The source of power that i believe links us to purgatory.  If
Tenebrion can destroy that link there would be nothing to save us in
the second ripture war.

Tyking: He doesn't want to destroy anything! He's been wanting peace
for quite a while, but because of how he has been met, he's decided to
give up on it.

Gurgi: As far as the emmissary goes, Tenebrion was stupid to send an
emissary to town when we have already told him we have no control over
individuals that are set on killing the emmissary.  If he wants to do a
meeting with exiles outside his keep, he should do it in the badlands
where we have some control over our own. But at least we show SOME
restraint!  Only a few individuals have attacked his emmissaries, but
every single one of his gaurds and undine attack every single exile
that comes to talk with him, even when he has invited them directly
himself!  He has a worse record than us in this repect.

Tyking: As far as the exiles go, exiles were stupid to go to the keep
when Tenebrion has already told us he has no control over guards that
are set on killing exiles.  If you want to do a meeting with Tenebrion
in his keep, you should talk to me.
I take from this that you exiles are planning on attacking the keep and
stealing the crystals? I will inform Tenebrion of this state of war so
that he may prepare for any attacks.
-Tyking II, remaining to serve Tenebrion.

*

6) From Elenis Reyav:

Greetings all.

Thank you Callia for your diligent work and continued persistence.
You've inspired me to try and work on the Tenebrion/Purgatory matter
again after I did give up some hope.  Perhaps we can... come to terms
with what is happening. 

Fellow exiles, Tenebrion is very cagey as Callia has pointed out.  He
also has made quite a few contradictions that I was able to note from
my own talks with him and comparing them to that which Callia had. 

- He has told me that he cares about the different stages of life and
death and that such was his primary interest in Purgatory.  That it
seemed like a temporary stasis or a cycle for continual life. 

- The Sword of Souls when originally uncovered were not forgable by
any.  Including Dun'Dura'a.  But now it seems that either Dun'Dura'a
was able to forge them all along... or Tenebrion taught him how.
Either way, something is afoot.  Either he lied, or he does actually
know the method by which they are made.  Fully.  (Teaching something
you don't know doesn't work well...)

-- Interesting bits of information.

- The shards of crystal that exiles find bear a striking resemblance to
the teleport stones that are found in OC4.  Isn't it interesting that
they bear that resemblance and the purportedly belong to a being who is
interested in plannar travel... and yet we are told that they are items
of no consequence to us exiles.  Further tying this link together, both
the shards of crystal and the whole teleport stones from OC4 have been
known to shatter after a short period of time... perhaps a small study
can be done to compare how long each last after being found?

- A few exiles currently hold "pass keys".  When I last spoke with
Tenebrion, those exiles who were given keys were supposed to let other
exiles know this so that we could schedule appointments with Tenebrion
through them.  From what I have found out, those exiles have kept the
possession of these keys a secret.  Few have scheduled appointments.
These keys supposedly "make it easier for exiles to meet with me"
(Tenebrion that is).

- He doesn't consider the 'undine' he has to be real "undine".  They
are mechanations, programmed and spiritless.  Wheras 'normal' undine
were once living and occasionally hold vestiges of their former selves.
The importance of this I have yet to decipher.

       Fellow exiles, let's stick together on this one. 

       Sincerely,
       Elenis Reyav

#####
LETTER TO THE EDITOR

From: Ruger "the Cougar" Tanheart

Subject:
Tenebrion; Soul Stealing Sorcerer or Passive-Aggressive Pantywaist?

"Leave me alone…"  "You have nothing I want..." "Stay off my yard…" do
these proclamations sound familiar?  If they do, then you are familiar
with Tenebrion, Lok'groton's most flamboyant "recluse".

For many seasons we have listened to Tenebrion whine, "Stay away and
let me build a prison and raise an army in peace!" Meanwhile, he
broadcasts threatening sunstone messages and gleefully peddles soul
swords to our weaker-minded citizens.

So what was Tenebrion's latest bid for attention?  He recently
possessed the body of an exile in the Town Square.  Once a crowd had
gathered he mumbled some cryptic gobbledygook about purgatory and
insisted that we all stay away from his "Keep".  What the heck was that
about?  Tenebrion reminds me of a pre-adolescent Fen I dated when I was
a schoolkitten.  After we broke up she insisted on contacting me five
times a day - just to say she never wanted to speak to me again.

So what do YOU think would happen if we granted Tenebrion his wish and
left him alone?  Lets say we tossed his stupid swords, ignored his
sunstone broadcasts, and walked away when he pulled a dramatic stunt in
the town square.  Do you think he would quietly retire into peaceful
obscurity? FAT CHANCE!

No, I don't think we can ignore Tenebrion. And it curls the hair on my
pointy ears to hear the pencil-necked library mystics agonize over "The
Tenebrion Question".  While they pontificate in the safety of town,
surrounded by fighters and healers, Tenebrion's chef "Morty" prepares
cannibalistic cuisine made from brave exiles.

Sincerely,
Rugur "The Cougar" Tanheart

Disclaimer:  The opinions expressed in this letter are solely those of
Rugur and do not represent the opinions of his clan or the management
of Cairo's Pub.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Dear Slyph"
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare Media Network)

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, K'Pyn, Norm, Prue, Slyph, Tuan, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

The following fishwrapmagazine poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: What do you think about 'dews?


CHOICES AND RESULTS
- They can be deadly, but have nothing to do with cloning or mind-control, 12
votes, 38.71%
- They are an effective tool for Qual to control or clone the citizens of
Puddleby, 19 votes, 61.29%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine

For help with eGroups, please visit
http://www.egroups.com/help

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover tor
tamales with it in the afternoon"
Issue #27: "Bloody Swords and Broken Pendants"
[January 3, 2001]
Circulation: 130

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Raldin the Mystic's Sunstone Tuning Service
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* The Sundragon Clan <http://www.sundragonclan.com>
* Thorstorm the Zo
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Rising Claw discovers a new weapon
* K'Pyn talks to Tenebrion
* Althea becomes 4th circle fighter
* Bones unveils downhome cooking secrets of the Thoom
* Purgatory pendants flickering
* Master Hekus & Virgil speak
* Talking stone figure on display in farms east of the myrm hive

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Battles beyond Wisher's Gate
* Zorton gets a stone
* Extra Death Vermine spoil Orga Camp Raid
* Brae and Wormtongue ponder a broken pendant
* Rumors about Tenebrion's brothers
* Tyking II reports that Tenebrion denies harming Purgatory
* Votenkath takes on some undine for a cleanup task
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
   <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/>

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Rat Bastards and Norm tour Snaggy and Wisher's Gate
* Norm finds Geraldus, who is spending much time in the library
* Mahas, Mahas, Mahas
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is STILL looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable.  Your ad will be read by well
over 125 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Best wishes to all in the new year.

My apologies for the length of this issue.  I should edit it even more
but would rather send it out now before the news becomes even more
dated.

Paramedic's Wish List for the New Year
(with help from Rael the Squonk)
7) More useful items
6) Fewer quests where the same thing happens on a regular schedule like
clockwork.  I feel like we need timecards lately
5) Fewer people walking around town wearing cloaks
4) Fewer brambleberries, more of other berries
3) No more areas magically appearing between long-established adjacent
areas
2) Remote settlements with a purpose (with unique vendors and
attractions, and libraries or inns to sleep in)
1) Open the south forest mirror!!!

There's currently a renaissance of art in Puddleby.  I've been
collecting picture of Thooms for a while, and you can see these in the
Ask The Thoom section at my scroll.

<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

You can also find some great new pictures by Aurora here:

<http://www.Angelfire.com/art/ClanLordPortraits/Index.html>

If you have some art you'd like mentioned in Fishwrap, just let me
know.

Para

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
ALDERNON AND THE BLOODBLADE

Aldernon asks, "Para, got a moment?"
Paramedic says, "sure"
Aldernon says, "I was wondering"
Aldernon says, "if the fishwrap"
Aldernon says, "would be interested in an exclusive"
Aldernon says, "I, with Rising Claw"
Aldernon says, "discovered a new weapon"
Aldernon says, "that now 3 exiles have been offered"
Paramedic says, "yes, definitely"
Aldernon says, "we've been studying and training"
Paramedic says, "this sounds like big news"
Aldernon says, "and many people hear rumors and ask quesitions"
Aldernon says, "I'd rather answer your questions and"
Aldernon says, "and let people read it in the wrap"
Paramedic asks, "ok. How about right now?"
Aldernon says, "this is its effect on us...currently"
[Editor's note:  blood splatters all over Aldernon]
Paramedic says, "ew"
(Aldernon nods)
Aldernon says, "sure if you have the time now"
Paramedic says, "let's start from the beginning"
Aldernon says, "ok"
Aldernon says, "I'll stop bleeding =)"
Paramedic says, "how did you find this weapon"
Aldernon says, "Kodo discovered an area"
Aldernon says, "which has been asked to keep anonymous for now"
(Paramedic nods)
Aldernon says, "though many know"
Aldernon says, "and I'm not opposed to helping anyone find it on an
individual basis"
Paramedic says, "I see..."
Aldernon says, "it's rather interesting"
Aldernon says, "Kodo was just wondering"
Aldernon says, "and noticed an area that he hadn't seen before"
Aldernon says, "very much by accident"
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon says, "then"
Aldernon says, "after he found it and explored a little"
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon says, "Rising Claw sent in a hunt the following day"
Aldernon says, "I happened to be there"
Paramedic says, "Ah good to see Rising Claw on such an expedition"
(Aldernon nods)
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon says, "who welcomes people to the area"
Aldernon says, "up until I met him"
Aldernon says, "that's all we thought he did"
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Aldernon says, "but when I spoke to this robed figure"
Aldernon says, "he mentioned that I had mastered the skills to preform
elementary blood magic"
Paramedic exclaims, "interesting!"
Aldernon says, "very interesting"
Paramedic says, "magic in the lands...."
Aldernon says, "and then he offered to fashion me a weapon"
(Aldernon nods)
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "so then he made you one?"
Aldernon says, "well"
Aldernon says, "he asked for 2 components"
Aldernon says, "and when given he fashioned the weapon from them"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic asks, "does it seem he only makes this for fighters?"
Aldernon says, "yes"
Aldernon says, "I'd say so"
Paramedic asks, "what sort of weapon is this? a blade?"
Aldernon asks, "what does it look like? or do?"
Paramedic says, "both"
Aldernon says, "ah"
Aldernon says, "it looks similar to a scimitar"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Aldernon says, "as soon as we equip it"
Aldernon says, "our blood flows down the blade"
Paramedic says, "ow."
Aldernon says, "yes..."
Paramedic asks, "so for now you begin to receive damage as soon as you
equip it?"
Aldernon says, "yes"
Aldernon says, "immediately"
Paramedic asks, "perhaps you will find a trainer to help you use it
without the pain?"
Aldernon says, "we've been testing them for some time"
Aldernon says, "that is one hope =)"
Aldernon says, "there is a door past the robed figure"
(Paramedic listens)
Aldernon says, "but still...no one has been able to pass"
Paramedic asks, "does the weapon effectively harm others when used on
them?"
Aldernon asks, "like when hunting?"
Paramedic says, "yes"
Aldernon says, "I'd say I have noticed a difference"
Aldernon asks, "have you Althea?"
Paramedic asks, "but you can't keep it equipped long because it hurts
you so much?"
Aldernon says, "that's an interesting part"
Ace Rimmer thinks, "obc cinder destroyed"
Aldernon says, "it's not a steady drain"
Paramedic asks, "oh? in bursts, then?"
Aldernon says, "and it doesn't seem to kill either of us"
Paramedic asks, "so it will make you red but not kill you?"
Aldernon says, "it doesn't take me to red"
Paramedic says, "oh that's interesting"
Aldernon says, "I "level""
Aldernon says, "at a point"
Paramedic asks, "how many exiles do you think have this weapon now?"
Aldernon says, "I know of only 3"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "does it have a name?"
Lister is no longer Clanning.
Aldernon says, "unfortunately I can't say if the others would want
their names mentioned"
Aldernon shows his bloodblade to everyone.
Paramedic says, "We'll preserve the others' anonymity for now"
Paramedic says, "ahhh "bloodblade""
(Aldernon nods)
Paramedic says, "So by conducting this interview you're hoping to make
information about this blade more available so that you won't have to
answer so many questions about it?"
(Aldernon nods)
Paramedic says, "Thanks Aldernon for this insightful interview"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Sunstone giving out on you?

Take it to Raldin for professional tuning services... only 500c a
level.

Contact Raldin today!

Raldin's Sunstone Tuning Service

Reach out and sunstone someone

#####
INTERVIEW WITH TENEBRION
BY K'PYN THE THOOM

I had the opportunity to chat a
little with our Tenebrion. Most of you know my feelings about him,
but I have to admit that the little I have actually interacted with him
has
begun to sway me. He's been acting quite reasonably and honorably.
While I do recommend a cautious attitude, I wonder whether his is not a
worthy cause. According to this chat, his primary interest is in the
HOW of the pendant... not in WHERE one ends up. You might wonder
whether
this is useful to us. It would be if he would agree to share his
knowledge  with us... for it MIGHT be that his understanding is
something that
would open the mirrors. If he understands how the pendant projects,
then  we might all benefit. With that, I leave this for you to read.
I've
taken the time to limit it to just our conversation although I affirm
that none of that has been altered.

Yours in honor,

K'Pyn

[I enter past the poppy field holding only a shield and my money bag. I
never once attack his guards.]

K'Pyn says, "So good to see you Tenebrion."
K'Pyn exclaims, "It is Tenebrion!"
Tenebrion says, "I have left your town in peace."
K'Pyn says, "I have no quarrel with that sir"
Tenebrion says, "Yet you persist in invading my home."
K'Pyn says, "I sir am not invading"
K'Pyn says, "Please tell your guards to desist"
Tenebrion says, "I will do no such thing."
K'Pyn says, "I came only to aid our fallen"
Tenebrion says, "You should not be here."
K'Pyn asks, "I should not?"
Tenebrion says, "Let them lie where they fall. They are trespassers."
K'Pyn says, "Sir, as I understand..."
K'Pyn says, "You cancelled that treaty"
K'Pyn asks, "Did you not?"
Tenebrion says, "I did not."
K'Pyn asks, "no?"
Tenebrion says, "No treaty was presented to me."
K'Pyn says, "I see"
K'Pyn says, "I strongly believed in our peace stick"
K'Pyn says, "I have waged long debates to that effect"
Tenebrion says, "I had hopes for the better."
Tenebrion says, "I was disappointed."
K'Pyn says, "I am only here because I'd been told we had no treaty"
K'Pyn says, "and had fallen friends here"
Tenebrion says, "Then leave now and I will not add your name to my
list."
K'Pyn says, "Otherwise I'd have counted them trespassers"
(K'Pyn nods.)
(K'Pyn bows)
K'Pyn says, "Perhaps some other time then sir"
Tenebrion says, "Good day."
(K'Pyn sighs.)

[ I leave.]

You think to Tenebrion, "Well sir, I cannot imagine what I can do for
you... but I'll talk to you if you'd like."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "Malkor stole a sword from me. I want it
returned."
You think to Tenebrion, "Well sir, that might be a little difficult to
arrange. Unfortunately he is in my clan too =\"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "He brings great dishonor upon your clan."
You think to Tenebrion, "As to your assertion he "stole" it... do you
present proof sir?"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "He offered a pendant in exchange. He took the
sword and ran before giving me the pendant."
You think to Tenebrion, "I see... do you have witnesses sir? Anyone I
can present in a case to my clan?"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "There was a roomful of witnesses."
You think to Tenebrion, "Excellent, please provide me with a name? I
shall not stand by idly to thieves in my clan..."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "Ugh, Brae, Yor, Tara, and many others."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I offer a substantial reward for the one who
returns it to me."
You think to Tenebrion, "Very well sir. I shall do what I can ...
although as you might understand it might not be much... My interest is
not in
reward from you but the knowledge that my clan is not involved in
thievery"
You think to Tenebrion, "Incidentally... what do you consider your
"home"? Just the keep proper? Or the entire island?"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "The poppy field and the grounds of my keep."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have no interest in the rest of the
island."
You think to Tenebrion, "Thank you sir. Although I question your
motive, let it not be said that I do not understand the honor of your
attempt
at peace."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I lived here many centuries without your
people. I have little interest in your affairs."
You think to Tenebrion, "of course... but you DO have an interest in
one of our best treasures... and so far I'm unwilling to believe it's
totally
benign. Which is the reason I requested your audience earlier."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have no interest in your purgatory. I
merely seek to discover by what means the pendants transport a person."
You think to Tenebrion, "Hmm. That sounds reasonable enough... but what
sir, if you discover that whatever its "means" it simply transports
you to purgatory? "
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I will have to see."
You think to Tenebrion, "You are an old one... and your magic great...
yet even you understand that your last attempt on a pendant shook the
foundations of Purgatory?"
Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am endeavoring to determine the cause of
that. I would prefer it not happen again."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "It disturbed your people a great deal. I do
not want to scare them from trading more pendants."
You think to Tenebrion, "I see sir. That speaks well of your determined
self-interest. Perhaps you can understand then from that viewpoint
why many oppose your interest in our "magic"?"
You think to Tenebrion, "From the viewpoint of determined self-
interest, you pose a threat to one of our sanctuaries. I wonder whether
you'd
be so interested if the tables were turned and our learned people were
interested in something that "might" violate your sanctuary."
Tenebrion thinks to you, "Your people have been violating my sanctuary
from the day they discovered it."
You think to Tenebrion, "Yes, as you see it sir. And I agree. They're
interest is similar to your stated interest. They are curious how your
place
works and what it may have to offer them... But believe me when I say
that I don't think their interest was motivated by a desire to destroy
your sanctuary."

[Here is a long pause that indicated to me the conversation was over.]

You think to Tenebrion, "I thank you sir, for your candor and time. Be
well and I will think on these things we've discussed."

#####
OVERHEARD IN PUDDLEBY

Fishwrap presents:  "Bored Healer Theater"

Rifkin thinks, "So who needs a rescue and where?"
Rifkin says, "Think I'll go to nbc for the fallen"
Paramedic asks, "quiet night tonight?"
Polerand says, "Relatively I think"
Veer thinks, "coming to north of orchard, that's as far as I can come
without PF assistance."
Paramedic says, "hm"
Rifkin thinks, "Heading to nbc"
Veer thinks, "oops, NWF fallens are up, I've been told."
Biff thinks, "several healers already at NBC"
Paramedic thinks, "aborting nwf trip"
B'hu thinks, "NWF fallens up - thx to those who enquired... :)"
Rifkin thinks, "Rescue interruptus"
Paramedic thinks, "all thooms return to base"
Papa thinks, "Roger Ten Four. This is Red Leader"
B'hu thinks, "gah - ok exiles - start falling, the healers are getting
restless! ;)"
Paramedic thinks, "we have an abort. scrubbing the rescue"
Veer says, "heh."
(Polerand - base commander)
Perkusi thinks, "yah, hurry up and cause a commotion, fighters!"
Rifkin thinks, "I haven't raised someone in so long my moonstone is
blue"
B'hu thinks, "*cough*"
Polerand says, "Good work Thooms; apparently alpha wing beat you to
it."
Paramedic thinks, "Roger that. Thooms will be refueling back at the
pad"
Crow thinks, "a commotion? without me?"
Noone thinks, "me trying but there doesn't seem to be anything here to
fall to on FI"
Biff thinks, "well, i could fall on Herpes Beach..."
(Veer chuckles.)
(Rifkin waits for the wrath of the GMs)
Paramedic says, "heh"
(Brutel Onesti falls and vomits)
Polerand thinks, "We have vomiting in town square."
Paramedic says, "eww"
B'hu thinks, "shall I head to Noids deep cavern or OC to fall?"
Papa thinks, "Noids >=D"
Snow thinks, "Head for Astral Plane!"
Rifkin thinks, "can't you do both?"
B'hu thinks, "well... I guess I could one then the other..."
Rifkin thinks, "Fall in OC and I'll chain you to noids."
Paramedic thinks, "bored healer convention in town"
B'hu thinks, "ok bored exiles... lets do a snaggy run... we have at
least 1 full pf on, I might be able to persuade him... ;)"
Perkusi exclaims, "Sitting Claw!"
Paramedic thinks, "Coming up shortly, panel discussion on how to make
an exile fall and have it look like an accident"
Polerand says, "Indeed"
Brimstar thinks, "Heh, ask RB about that Paramedic, they are masters at
the art of the dive."
Snow thinks, "Make sure it's a mystic. No one questions when/where/why
they fall, ever."
Paramedic thinks, "the first panelist recommends shoving a foxweir down
someone's pants"
Papa thinks, "Maha in SF. Help!"
Snow thinks, "To the Mystery Machine!!!"
Paramedic thinks, "Papa, you tease!"

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
BY TYKING II

Here is an interview I conducted recently with Mr Pudding, a Thoom
interested in trading for some of Tenebrion's books.

Tyking II asks, "What is your interest with Tenebrion's books?"
Mr Pudding says, "Well I've read through most of our library's ones."
Mr Pudding says, "I need some new ones. And Tenebrion is a new source
of them"
Tyking II says, "I see"
Tyking II asks, "What kinds of books do you think you can obtain from
him?"
Mr Pudding says, "Well he says he has a Necronomicon."
Tyking II asks, "Could you tell us what that is?"
Mr Pudding says, "It's a book of the dead."
Mr Pudding says, "It's a good read I hear."
Mr Pudding says, "He wants a purg pendant though"
(Tyking II nods)
Mr Pudding says, "and I'll never get one :-P"
Mr Pudding says, "I'll have to find something else to trade"
Tyking II asks, "He will exchange books for a purgatory pendant?"
(Mr Pudding): Mr Pudding nods
Tyking II says, "Okay"
Mr Pudding says, "But I wouldn't trade that :-P"
Tyking II asks, "What kind of benefits do you think will come from his
books?"
Mr Pudding says, "I'm not sure. I want to learn wizardry."
Mr Pudding says, "It's a fun hobby of mine."
Tyking II says, "Okay then"
Tyking II says, "One last question"
Mr Pudding asks, "Hmm?"
Tyking II asks, "If you had a purgatory pendant, and Tenebrion offered
you a soul sword for it, would you accept and why?"
Mr Pudding says, "No,"
Mr Pudding says, "well, I see nothing positive in them."
Mr Pudding ponders, "I mean. Look what happend to you! :-P"
(Mr Pudding): Mr Pudding grins to himself
(Chris Rex grins to yourself)
(Mr Pudding raises an eyeflap.)
Chris Rex hums.
Mr Pudding hums.
Tyking II exclaims, "Well, thanks for the interview!"
Mr Pudding says, "Sure."
Mr Pudding raises his glass of fish oil in a hearty toast.
Tyking II says, "This is Tyking II, reporting"

#####
BONES' COOKIN' CORNER

Welcome to Bones' Cookin Corner, where I will feature the higlights of
Thoom cuisine.

This week: Bent Tree Fish Stew!

This is a good fish stew meal my mother used to make back home in Bent
Tree.

Ingredients

* two porgies (or scrup, tilapia), one to two pounds each
* flour
* salt, black pepper, to taste
* one quarter cup kudzu oil or fish oil
* two uli roots, finely chopped
* two tomatoes, chopped
* one cup fish stock
* red pepper flakes or cayenne pepper (optional)

What you do

* Cut the fish crosswise, into two-inch sections. Mix the flour,
salt, and pepper in a bowl. Roll the fish in the flour mixture.
* Heat the oil in a skillet. Cook the fish in the oil, turning it
until it is golden brown all over. Remove the fish and set aside.
* Fry the uli root in the skillet for a few minutes. Add the
tomatoes. Stir and cook for about ten minutes. Add the fish stock.
Reduce heat, cover and simmer for ten minutes more.
* Return the fish to the skillet. Add red pepper if desired. Simmer
for twenty to thirty minutes. Serve with rice.

Next week: Bones' Fried Urchin Bites.

-Bones

#####
CALLIA'S PENDANT REPORT

Hello again everyone,

    I'm afraid I have more troubling news to report, 4th Circle healers
have begun to notice their pendants flickering oddly, and some times
failing to opperate properly. I find the implications of this very
troubling.


12/22/00 2:41:32a Kahn St'ple says, "Greetings, Lady Axell"
12/22/00 2:41:39a Axell ponders, "* Your pendant flickers strangely ?"
12/22/00 2:41:47a Sutai says, "uh oh"
12/22/00 2:41:47a (Callia stares at Axell)
12/22/00 2:41:53a Axell says, "hmm"
12/22/00 2:41:53a Callia asks, "what!!??"
12/22/00 2:42:21a Axell says, "it didn't work when i tried to use it"
12/22/00 2:42:32a Callia exclaims, "it didn't work?!?!"
12/22/00 2:42:35a Bones attempts to project into another plane.
12/22/00 2:42:40a (Callia looks deeply concerned)
12/22/00 2:42:43a Axell says, "no"
12/22/00 2:42:54a Callia says, "hmmm"
12/22/00 2:42:55a Axell says, "i was in OC, trying to escape"
12/22/00 2:42:58a Callia says, "Manx"
12/22/00 2:43:02a Manx asks, "yes?"
12/22/00 2:43:03a Axell says, "it didn't work: * Your pendant flickers
strangely."
12/22/00 2:43:05a Callia asks, "try your pendant please?"
12/22/00 2:43:09a Bones says, "disabled in Orga Camp, perhaps"
12/22/00 2:43:11a Manx exclaims, "oh my gaia!!"
12/22/00 2:43:17a Axell says, "it worked the 2nd time"
12/22/00 2:43:22a Sutai says, "huh"
12/22/00 2:43:23a Manx attempts to project into another plane.
12/22/00 2:43:25a Bones says, "hmm"
12/22/00 2:43:28a Callia says, "that's very troubling"
12/22/00 2:43:28a Manx says, "no problem"
12/22/00 2:44:02a Axell says, "heh Manx"
12/22/00 2:44:10a Axell says, "of course:)"
12/22/00 2:44:11a (Sutai nods.)
12/22/00 2:44:11a Manx says, "I mean..."
12/22/00 2:44:18a (Callia frowns)
12/22/00 2:49:49a Manx asks, "Axell did it happen again?"
12/22/00 2:49:53a Axell says, "no"
12/22/00 2:49:56a Manx says, "whew"
12/22/00 2:50:22a Axell says, "very strange"
12/22/00 2:50:26a Manx says, "yes"
12/22/00 2:50:35a (Manx chews a claw.)
12/22/00 2:50:37a Callia says, "very troubling"
12/22/00 2:50:53a Callia says, "potentially it means that Tenebrion is
begining to figure out how they work"
12/22/00 2:50:56a Axell says, "I just tried again in OC"
12/22/00 2:51:01a Callia asks, "and?"
12/22/00 2:51:04a Manx exclaims, "Oh Gaia, bite your tongue!"
12/22/00 2:51:05a Axell says, "no problem"
12/22/00 2:51:09a Sutai says, "Hmm..."
12/22/00 2:51:09a Callia says, "hm"
12/22/00 2:51:17a Natas asks, "pendant problems?"
12/22/00 2:51:23a Manx says, "Just a lil."
12/22/00 2:52:33a Callia asks, "how old is your pendant Axell?"
12/22/00 2:52:43a Axell says, "oooolllddd"
12/22/00 2:52:44a Slant asks, "2 pendants?"
12/22/00 2:52:44a Bones says, "probably the oldest"
12/22/00 2:52:49a Manx asks, "one of the first?"
12/22/00 2:52:53a Axell says, "no"
12/22/00 2:52:54a Manx asks, "or the first?"
12/22/00 2:53:06a Axell says, "it was the 4th or 5th"
12/22/00 2:53:11a Santa Chicken asks, "is there any significants to old
pendants?"
12/22/00 2:53:16a Manx says, "dunno Santa"
12/22/00 2:53:24a Manx says, "trying to figger out what is going on"
12/22/00 2:53:28a Callia asks, "and do any of the other oldest users
still
walk the lands?"
12/22/00 2:53:28a (Manx the alarmist.)
12/22/00 2:53:40a Axell says, "Degu"
12/22/00 2:53:49a Slant says, "i saw Degu a day or 2 ago"
12/22/00 2:53:49a (Manx misses Degu turrbly.)
12/22/00 2:53:56a (Manx sighs.)
12/22/00 2:53:56a Callia says, "i haven't seen Degu in ... months"
12/22/00 2:53:57a Axell exclaims, "Degu is back !"
12/22/00 2:54:00a Bones exclaims, "aye, he is back!"
12/22/00 2:54:01a (Manx cheers!)
12/22/00 2:54:03a Callia says, "hmm"
12/22/00 3:00:24a (Callia wonders why Axell's pendant is flickering)
12/22/00 3:00:31a (Axell too)
12/22/00 3:00:41a Callia asks, "have you studied with Loovma?"
12/22/00 3:00:49a Axell asks, "uh ??"
12/22/00 3:00:54a Axell says, "of course, no"
12/22/00 3:00:56a Callia says, "Loovma Gear"
12/22/00 3:01:01a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:01:09a Callia says, "just trying to study all the
possibilities"
12/22/00 3:01:17a Axell says, "my pendant is not a chain or something
like
that"
12/22/00 3:01:25a Callia says, "even so, it's a tool,"
12/22/00 3:01:28a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:02:01a Axell says, "not a blacksmith tool"
12/22/00 3:02:13a Callia says, "no, it's true"
12/22/00 3:02:18a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:02:32a Callia says, "like I said, I'm just trying to figure
the
possibilities"
12/22/00 3:02:54a Axell says, "Tenebrion is breaking our pendants with
his
experiments"
12/22/00 3:02:57a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:03:11a Callia says, "certainly a far more likely area of
interest"
12/22/00 3:03:16a Callia says, "however"
12/22/00 3:03:19a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:07:13a Axell says, "ah Manx"
12/22/00 3:07:15a Manx says, "Mine flickered."
12/22/00 3:07:20a Callia asks, "it did??"
12/22/00 3:07:23a Manx says, "yep"
12/22/00 3:07:25a Manx says, "* Your pendant flickers strangely."
12/22/00 3:07:28a (Callia frowns)
12/22/00 3:07:28a Axell says, "hmm"
12/22/00 3:07:34a Callia asks, "where were you?"
12/22/00 3:07:35a Sutai says, "sigh"
12/22/00 3:07:35a Axell asks, "where ?"
12/22/00 3:07:37a Manx says, "NWF"
12/22/00 3:07:40a Callia says, "hmm"
12/22/00 3:07:44a Sutai says, "You know what this means.."
12/22/00 3:07:45a Axell asks, "surrounded ?"
12/22/00 3:07:46a (Manx holds her pendant tight.)
12/22/00 3:07:50a Sutai says, "One of two things."
12/22/00 3:07:52a Manx says, "no... just testing it."
12/22/00 3:07:52a Callia says, "range from the Altar might be a factor"
12/22/00 3:08:00a Sutai says, "That was first thing :D"
12/22/00 3:08:02a (Bones looks at Manx's pendant)
12/22/00 3:08:03a Callia says, "Minx might have been right too"
12/22/00 3:08:09a Manx exclaims, "Minx!"
12/22/00 3:08:13a Bones shows his Purgatory pendant to everyone.
12/22/00 3:08:14a Sutai says, "Second thing might be Tenebrion"
12/22/00 3:08:14a (Manx frets.)
12/22/00 3:08:15a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:08:20a Manx shows her Purgatory pendant to everyone.
12/22/00 3:08:38a Callia says, "Minx said, over a year and a half ago,
that
the power that keeps us from dieing, was growing weaker"
12/22/00 3:08:48a (Manx groans.)
12/22/00 3:08:56a Sutai exclaims, "I don't want to die!"
12/22/00 3:08:56a Manx asks, "We're gorner die?"
12/22/00 3:09:05a (Manx frowns.)
12/22/00 3:09:09a Callia says, "he was supposed to return to visit us
last
spring"
12/22/00 3:09:13a Sutai exclaims, "One rat invasion and I'm through!"
12/22/00 3:09:19a Callia says, "but he never appeared"
12/22/00 3:09:32a Callia says, "hmm.. make that 2 years ago now"
12/22/00 3:09:38a Sutai says, "heh"
12/22/00 3:09:44a Sutai says, "You know Minx :P"
12/22/00 3:09:48a (Manx nods.)
12/22/00 3:09:50a Callia says, "no, I don't ;)"
12/22/00 3:09:52a Sutai exclaims, "Cause I don't!"
12/22/00 3:10:01a Sutai says, "Bah, don't ruin my joke :D"
12/22/00 3:10:05a Manx says, "oh"
12/22/00 3:10:05a (Callia laughs)
12/22/00 3:10:08a Manx says, "no I don't"
12/22/00 3:17:24a Callia asks, "I wonder if Master Hekus is awake?"
12/22/00 3:17:45a Axell says, "i'll check virgil"
12/22/00 3:17:47a Callia asks, "Master Hekus??"
12/22/00 3:17:54a Callia says, "wait a sec"
12/22/00 3:18:17a Axell asks, "Master Hekus ?"
12/22/00 3:18:36a Callia asks, "are you awake Master Hekus?"
12/22/00 3:18:52a (Callia sighs)
12/22/00 3:19:24a Callia says, "doesn't look likely"
12/22/00 3:19:38a Callia says, "two flickerings, in one day"
12/22/00 3:19:40a Axell says, "I'll check Virgil"
12/22/00 3:19:49a Callia says, "and Manx's pendant is much newer than
yours"
12/22/00 3:21:28a Callia says, "nothing"
12/22/00 3:21:29a Axell says, "I'lll ask Bruno <g>"
12/22/00 3:21:32a (Callia laughs)
12/22/00 3:21:43a Axell says, "Virgil busy"
12/22/00 3:21:47a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:22:00a Callia says, "I'm very disturbed"
12/22/00 3:22:09a Callia says, "I think Purgatory is actually rather
fragile"
12/22/00 3:22:18a Callia says, "and we're in danger of breaking it"
12/22/00 3:22:18a (Axell nods)
12/22/00 3:22:31a Axell exclaims, "but its too late now !"
12/22/00 3:22:39a Callia says, ":\"
12/22/00 3:22:44a Callia says, "maybe so..."
12/22/00 3:22:59a Callia says, "or ... maybe it still has a chance to
recover"
12/22/00 3:23:02a Axell says, "stop giving pendant to tenebrion"
12/22/00 3:23:06a Callia says, "yes"
12/22/00 3:23:09a Callia says, "definitely"
12/22/00 3:23:18a Callia says, "I don't know who still is"
12/22/00 3:23:35a Callia says, "some one must be though"
12/22/00 3:23:35a Axell says, "oracle gave him the 1st"
12/22/00 3:23:39a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:23:43a Axell says, "I was there"
12/22/00 3:23:54a Callia says, "I'm guessing that he's doing something
new
with them"
12/22/00 3:24:15a Callia says, "I think he said he had found 4
different ways
to break them"
12/22/00 3:24:23a Axell asks, "oh ?"
12/22/00 3:24:26a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:24:29a Callia says, "I think so"
12/22/00 3:24:52a Axell asks, "is the purgatory menaced or just our
pendants
?"
12/22/00 3:24:55a Callia says, "at least, that's what a friend said
that he
said ;)"
12/22/00 3:25:01a Callia asks, "who knows?"
12/22/00 3:25:12a Callia says, "the other day..."
12/22/00 3:25:28a Callia says, "all the Mystics in the lands sensed
what he
did to purgatory"
12/22/00 3:25:34a (Axell nods)
12/22/00 3:25:40a Callia says, "we all felt it emenate strange energy"
12/22/00 3:25:50a Axell asks, "but now...?"
12/22/00 3:25:52a Callia says, "supposedly when he broke a pendant"
12/22/00 3:25:58a Callia asks, "how did we sense it?"
12/22/00 3:26:00a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:26:07a Callia says, "it's our nature I guess"
12/22/00 3:26:16a Callia says, "we're sensitive to such things"
12/22/00 3:26:18a Axell asks, "do you sense something now ?"
12/22/00 3:26:30a Callia says, "remember, we could sense the Dialyth
too"
12/22/00 3:26:41a Callia says, "and the tears"
12/22/00 3:26:42a Axell says, "yes..."
12/22/00 3:27:03a Axell says, "something is already broken"
12/22/00 3:27:09a (Callia nods)
12/22/00 3:27:23a Axell says, "oh well"
12/22/00 3:27:25a Callia says, "well, it certainly SEEMS that way"
12/22/00 3:27:42a Axell says, "well, my pendant is not broken"
12/22/00 3:27:45a Callia says, "no"
12/22/00 3:27:51a Axell says, "not yet...."
12/22/00 3:27:52a Callia says, "but.. it flickered"
12/22/00 3:27:58a Callia says, "it behaved oddly"
12/22/00 3:28:04a Axell asks, "is that good or bad ?"
12/22/00 3:28:08a Callia says, "it did something unexpected"
12/22/00 3:28:13a Axell says, "yes"
12/22/00 3:28:23a Callia says, "well, I'd say it's bad, since it
behaved
unpredictably"
12/22/00 3:28:39a Axell says, "hmm"
12/22/00 3:29:01a Callia says, "what it means for Purgatory as a whole?
who
can say"
12/22/00 3:29:28a Axell says, "do you think it can break the purg"
12/22/00 3:29:41a Callia says, "I don't know"
12/22/00 3:29:49a Axell asks, "and what is 'breaking the purg' ?"
12/22/00 3:29:54a Callia says, "I used to think that the worst that
might
happen...."
12/22/00 3:29:54a Axell asks, "no depart ?"
12/22/00 3:30:06a Callia says, "is that Tenebrion might find a way to
send
Undine there"
12/22/00 3:30:09a Axell asks, "death for us ?"
12/22/00 3:30:20a Callia says, "perhaps"
12/22/00 3:30:23a Axell says, "there are already undines there"
12/22/00 3:30:29a Axell says, "up to DS"
12/22/00 3:30:33a Callia says, "but only weak ones, and only
occasionally"
12/22/00 3:30:43a Axell says, "yes.."
12/22/00 3:30:54a Callia says, "one Banshee could terrorize purgatory
for
weeks"
12/22/00 3:31:14a Axell says, "yes.... only if purg pendant are broken"
12/22/00 3:31:17a Callia says, "most exiles appear there with no
health,
balance or spirit"
12/22/00 3:31:19a Axell says, "yes....but only if purg pendant are
broken"
12/22/00 3:31:25a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:31:32a Callia says, "even if YOU can go there,"
12/22/00 3:31:38a Axell says, "no"
12/22/00 3:31:39a Callia says, "you can't defeat it"
12/22/00 3:31:49a Callia says, "(a banshee I mean)"
12/22/00 3:31:49a Axell says, "healers can hold most stuffs"
12/22/00 3:31:54a Callia says, "yes"
12/22/00 3:31:56a Callia says, "sure"
12/22/00 3:32:05a Callia says, "but not destroy something that strong"
12/22/00 3:32:22a Axell says, "we wiait until PM depart from WG :)"
12/22/00 3:32:26a Callia says, "and 4th circle fighters won't like
being
asked to depart to help"
12/22/00 3:32:30a (Callia laughs)
12/22/00 3:32:33a Axell says, "I have to go for sielk"
12/22/00 3:32:37a Axell says, "brb"
12/22/00 3:32:38a Callia says, "ok"
12/22/00 3:33:44a Callia says, "4th circle healers are starting to
notice
their pendants flickering strangly"
12/22/00 3:33:50a (Elenis Reyav nods.)
12/22/00 3:34:40a Callia says, "circumstancial evidence would seem to
suggest
that Tenebrion might have some influence over that"
12/22/00 3:34:43a (Elenis Reyav nods.)
12/22/00 3:34:57a Callia says, "I find it rather troubling"
12/22/00 3:35:05a Elenis Reyav says, "as do I.."
12/22/00 3:35:15a Elenis Reyav says, "But I tried my best in that
arena..."
12/22/00 3:35:23a Elenis Reyav says, "And failed..."
12/22/00 3:35:28a Callia asks, "you've given up totally then?"
12/22/00 3:35:39a Elenis Reyav says, "I have not given up..."
12/22/00 3:35:42a Elenis Reyav says, "I'll still do what I can..."
12/22/00 3:35:51a Callia says, "I would be disappointed if you had
Elenis..."
12/22/00 3:36:01a Callia says, "you were one of the most level heads
involved"
12/22/00 3:36:12a (Elenis Reyav chuckles.)
12/22/00 3:36:15a Elenis Reyav says, "Thank you Callia.
12/22/00 3:36:20a (Callia smiles)
12/22/00 3:36:26a Elenis Reyav says, "Strangely enough comments like
that
mean a lot."
12/22/00 3:36:34a (Callia grins)
12/22/00 3:36:34a (Elenis Reyav smiles.)
12/22/00 3:36:40a Callia says, "I didn't say it lightly :)"
12/22/00 3:36:47a (Elenis Reyav grins.)
12/22/00 3:36:57a Elenis Reyav says, "But without any others who try...
I
don't know how far things will go..."
12/22/00 3:37:27a Callia says, "nor do I, but I fear that Purgatory may
be
destroyed"
12/22/00 3:37:32a (Elenis Reyav nods.)
12/22/00 3:37:40a Elenis Reyav says, "Well..."
12/22/00 3:37:50a Elenis Reyav says, "Hopefully exiles will be prompted
too
action..."
12/22/00 3:37:57a (Callia shrugs)
12/22/00 3:38:00a Mac-arena says, "yeh, it'd be real fun going to
astral
plane when we depart."
12/22/00 3:38:15a Elenis Reyav says, "But I have my doubts as to
whether
it'll happen before or after Purgatory suffers irreparable damage."
12/22/00 3:38:23a Callia says, "I suspect that would mean we COULDN'T
depart
Mac"
12/22/00 3:38:29a Elenis Reyav says, "Yeah..."
12/22/00 3:38:31a Mac-arena says, "probably"
12/22/00 3:38:35a Elenis Reyav says, "We'd be dead... for good..."
12/22/00 3:38:52a Callia says, "it's dimly possible, that the Adytum
might
be turned to a similar purpose...."
12/22/00 3:38:52a Elenis Reyav says, "And eventually we'd be too fallen
for
even the likes of Lori and Koric."
12/22/00 3:39:01a Callia says, "if we could reach it again"
12/22/00 3:39:04a (Elenis Reyav nods.)
12/22/00 3:39:18a Callia says, "but.. .I suspect that it would be far
more
damaging to spirits traveling through it"
12/22/00 3:39:28a Mac-arena says, "it'd be a longer trek"

Callia and Zippy meet with Hekus and Virgil (thanks to Axell)

  Master Hekus fidgets
  (Althea bolts)
  Callia asks, "Master Hekus?"
  Master Hekus says, "Hello"
  (Callia smiles)
  Axell says, "Greetings Master"
  Callia asks, "have you a moment for us ?"
  Master Hekus rarely gets out anymore
  Callia says, "yes, but you're so wise :)"
  Callia says, "I thought you might be able to help us with this..."
  Callia shows her broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Master Hekus says, "Good gracious me"
  Callia says, "the Necromancer... Tenebrion broke it..."
  Callia says, "he claims ...."
  Master Hekus asks, "How?"
  Callia says, "he didn't say exactly"
  Master Hekus scratches his beard.
  Callia says, "just that he was using it to research Plannar travel"
  Callia says, "he claims that there is a fundamental instability in
Purgatory...."
  Callia says, "which only he can help us with"
  Callia says, "we wanted to ask your opinion"
  Master Hekus exclaims, "My word!"
  Master Hekus says, "I have to admit..."
  Callia asks, "yes?"
  Master Hekus says, "Purgatory is as mysterious to me as to anyone
else, I believe..."
  Callia ponders, "oh dear :/"
  Callia says, "hmm...."
  Master Hekus says, "but I'd never dreamed of it being unstable... it
just somehow... "is"."
  Callia says, "but you reconnected the Altar...."
  Callia says, "surely you understand some of it's fundamental nature"
  Callia says, "(more than us anyway)"
  (Althea shivers)
  Master Hekus looks thoughtful.
  Axell asks, "Master, do you think his experiments may alter the
purgatory and our Pendants ?"
  Master Hekus says, "Well it's clearly altered at least one pendant."
  Callia says, "5 according to Tenebrion"
  Callia asks, "which is another issue, can this be fixed?"
  Callia shows her broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Master Hekus says, "I'll say this for him, he certainly knows how to
choose expensive research topics."
  (Callia laughs)
  Zippy asks, "Have you spoken with Beatrice and/or Virgil about it?"
  Callia says, "recently.. those of my guild .. sensed a strong
emenation of energy from Purgatory"
  Axell says, "and all pendants are acting strangly now"
  Callia says, "we didn't understand it.. nor did any of the healers
present"
  Zippy says, "I haven't noticed anything"
  Master Hekus says, "I've never heard of them breaking so abruptly
before; that's true enough."
  Master Hekus asks, "Emanations? How would you describe them?"
  Callia says, "hmm.. powerful"
  Callia says, "given their unknown nature... they were terrifying"
  Master Hekus nods slowly
  Callia says, "I guess it would be best to say they felt .... hmm...
"strange""
  Master Hekus asks, "Any emotive sensations involved? Or even physical
ones?"
  Callia says, "Manx explored Purgatory right after..."
  Callia says, "she said she felt "funny""
  Callia asks, "I'm not sure.. possibily nausea?"
  Callia says, "it didn't feel normal to her"
  Reck Sinto thinks Manx is jes' naturally funny.
  Master Hekus furrows his brow.
  Callia says, "but none of the Mystic guild have noticed anything else
to my knowledge"
  Callia says, "no other emenations or feelings"
  Master Hekus says, "Now that's especially curious."
  Callia says, "well.. our biggest concern..."
  Callia says, "is whether to believe that Tenebrion when he says he's
NOT the cause"
  Master Hekus says, "Without unanimity amongst the knowledgeable
mystics, I can see your dilemma."
  Callia asks, "is there a way we can monitor Purgatory more
effectivily?"
  Master Hekus says, "The only idea that leaps to mind immediately..."
  Master Hekus says, "... is simply to post a watch there. Simple, yes,
even crude, but I can't think of much else right away"
  Callia says, "hmm"
  Althea ponders, "exiles sitting alone in purg?"
  Callia asks, "what should we look for?"
  Master Hekus ponders, "Lonely dull work, I imagine, most of the time."
  Callia says, "there are only so many 4th circle healers..."
  Callia says, "and they would have to do the bulk of it"
  Zippy says, "There are a lot of them now"
  Callia says, "unless....."
  Callia says, "once before..."
  Master Hekus peers at Callia
  Callia says, "YOU openned a gateway to purgatory... in the temple"
  Callia says, "which allowed any exile to enter"
  Master Hekus ponders, "Will I ever live down that episode?"
  Master Hekus says, "Alas."
  (Callia looks dejected)
  Master Hekus says, "The portals are yet another of those mysteries
which we sometimes manipulate..."
  Master Hekus says, "... without always having a full insight."
  Master Hekus says, "We find that the powers that seem to underlie the
portals are, as it were, diminishing, in some way"
  Callia asks, "well, do you have any opinion on whether we should trust
Tenebrion?"
  Callia says, "yes.. so we've been told, by Minx"
  Master Hekus says, "(which is also cause for concern)"
  Master Hekus nods.
  Althea ponders, "where the heck is minx... he was supposed to be back
half a year ago"
  Althea ponders, "or more"
  Callia says, "but we haven't seen him"
  Master Hekus says, "I know nothing more of Minx"
  Callia says, "we look to you, our teachers for advice and suggestions"
  Master Hekus says, "My advice to you then is to tread warily; not to
proffer trust lightly, but not to withhold it arbitrarily..."
  (Callia nods)
  Master Hekus says, "observing always the golden rule."
  Callia says, "the risks seem great"
  Callia says, "we fear Purgatory might be destroyed"
  Althea ponders, "them that has the gold, makes the rules?"
  Althea ponders, "don't think that's right..."
  (Zippy shrugs)
  Master Hekus frowns a bit
  (Althea shivers)
  Callia ponders, "what is wrong with Althea?"
  Master Hekus says, "As I may have said"
  Master Hekus says, "I don't believe that Purgatory can be harmed in
any meaningful way..."
  Master Hekus says, "but that is NOT to say"
  Callia says, "ahh.. hmm"
  Master Hekus says, "that it cannot be altered"
  Axell says, "hmm"
  Master Hekus says, "(to coin a phrase)"
  Master Hekus says, "Indeed..."
  Callia says, "one of my fears is that Tenebrion might .. gain
the ability to garraison it with powerful Undine"
  Callia says, "that would be altering it"
  Master Hekus says, "it would be foolish to expect to remain
forevermore unchanged."
  Master Hekus says, "With or without Tenebrion, it is a place that
obeys a logic of its own"
  (Callia nods)
  Callia asks, "well... if nothing else.... CAN these broken pendants be
repaired?"
  (Althea listens)
  Master Hekus says, "Can you hold it a little closer? My eyes, you
know..."
  Zippy ponders, "hmm"
  Callia shows her broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Master Hekus squints
  Callia shows her broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Master Hekus says, "Thank you dear."
  Zippy ponders, "Hmm where is a good place"
  Zippy says, "I'll be right back"
  Master Hekus says, "That certainly looks nonfunctional."
  Master Hekus says, "I'd suggest taking it to Virgil."
  Callia says, "hmm"
  Callia says, "well, obviously *I* can't do that :)"
  Master Hekus isn't too familiar with these new trinkets.
  (Callia glances at Axell)
  Zippy says, "I'll help take it to Virgil"
  (Axell looks at Callia)
  Callia says, "ahh"
  Axell says, "ok"
  Callia says in People, "can you do it"
  Axell says, "yes"
  Zippy says, "erm"
  Callia hands you a broken purgatory pendant.
  (Althea): Althea crawls
  Axell says, "I'll ask Virgil"
  Callia says, "Axell has been helping the entire time Zippy"
  Callia says, "she's familiar with the details"
  Zippy says, "ok but it involves us all"
  Callia says, "thats true"
  Axell says, "yes"
  (Callia shrugs)
  Callia says, "I'm sure she'll give us a full report"
  Zippy says, "I want to see what he says"
  Axell says, "come with me Zippy"
  (Callia smiles)
  Axell asks, "Virgil ?"
  You equip your broken purgatory pendant.
  Axell asks, "do you have 2 minutes for us ?"
  Zippy says, "Virgil we seek your assistance..."
  Axell ponders, "he is busy"
  Zippy says, "Seems like it"
  Zippy asks, "Have you shown him the broken pendant?"
  You show your broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Zippy says, "He is deep in thought as well"
  Zippy says, "Hello Virgil"
  Axell asks, "Virgil ?"
  Virgil exclaims, "Yipe!"
  Axell says, "hello :)"
  Zippy says, "As you can see we have some questions for you ;)"
  Virgil asks, "How in Gaia's name did you manage that?"
  Axell says, "Tenebrion has broken this pendant"
  You show your broken purgatory pendant to everyone.
  Virgil looks horrified.
  Axell ponders, "gasp"
  Virgil exclaims, "But they're unbreakable!"
  Axell exclaims, "he asked us to fix it !"
  Axell exclaims, "oh !"
  Axell exclaims, "but its broken !"
  Zippy asks, "What are you saying?"
  Zippy says, "It looks broken to me.."
  Virgil says, "I cannot understand how that can be."
  Axell says, "he has tried to use it to 'travel planes'"
  Virgil asks, "What sorts of planes would those be?"
  Virgil asks, "And how could he be so careless?"
  Axell says, "something else than the purgatory"
  Virgil says, "The pendants are exquisitely tuned and fantastically
sensitive..."
  (Axell nods)
  Axell says, "you know, all pendants are acting strangly now"
  Virgil says, "But I've never heard of one breaking in this fashion"
  Virgil asks, "Truly?"
  Axell says, "my pendant refused to work 2 times"
  Zippy asks, "Axell, that isn't the only one that has broken right?"
  Axell says, "and it flickers"
  Virgil glances swiftly at Beatrice.
  Axell says, "He has broken 5 pendants"
  Zippy says, "Yeah I thought so"
  Virgil exclaims, "5?!"
  Axell says, "yes"
  Axell says, "yes:/"
  Zippy says, "that one there is one of five"
  Axell says, "Exiles are trading pendants for soulswords..."
  (Zippy nods)
  (Axell sighs)
  Zippy says, "Some are willing to trade their pendants for weapons"
  Virgil ponders, "What a pretty state of affairs"
  Zippy says, "that is probably why Tenebrion can afford to be so
careless"
  (Axell nods)
  Axell says, "he asked us to 'fix' the pendant"
  Virgil asks, "Of what use would such a tainted weapon be,
especially to a noble healer?"
  Zippy says, "I'm not quite sure..."
  Zippy says, "the trading is occuring none the less"
  Virgil glances suspiciously at Beatrice once again
  Zippy says, "I am guessing that since you said pendants can't be
broken... that it would be very difficult to 'fix' one"
  Virgil says, "It's not something I've ever even considered."
  Zippy says, "I figured as much.."
  Virgil says, "The word "unthinkable" barely does it justice."
  (Zippy nods)
  Virgil says, "Evidently we'll have to try."
  Virgil ponders, "But where do we even begin?"
  Axell asks, "can you look at the pendant ?"
  Virgil peers at it in perplexity
  Axell exclaims, "take it !"
  (Axell gives the broken pendant to Virgil)
  Virgil takes it gingerly.
  (Axell smiles)
  Zippy says, "hopefully you will be able to come to some sort of
conclusion"
  Virgil turns it around and around in his hands.
  Virgil says, "Ouch, that edge is sharp"
  Zippy asks, "What do you make of it?"
  Zippy says, "I guess it would be hard to say.."
  Zippy says, "Seeing as how it seems as though you have never seen one
broken.."
  Virgil says, "It's a bit embarrassing not to know the answers"
  Axell asks, "its the 1st broken pendant you have seen ?"
  Virgil nods to Axell
  Virgil says, "Yes; this is quite unprecedented"
  Virgil compares the broken pendant and his normal one.
  Virgil ponders, "Hmm"
  Virgil says, "the frame appears the same..."
  Zippy asks, "Have you ever heard about anything like this happening
before?"
  Zippy says, "There are a lot of books back there.. just curious if
something was documented.."
  Virgil says, "No, Zippy. I mean, I've heard complaints about this
Tenebrion, but..."
  Virgil says, "But we've always thought that the pendants were just a
sort of physical metaphor"
  Zippy ponders, "Hmm"
  Axell ponders, "hmm ?"
  Virgil says, "A symbol made real, if you will"
  Zippy says, "I certainly hope you can learn something by this then"
  Virgil asks, "And how do you break a metaphor?"
  Virgil says, "So to see one like this"
  Callia is no longer Clanning.
  Virgil says, "So plainly changed..."
  Virgil shudders.
  Virgil says, "It's like saying "the air is broken""
  Zippy says, "Yeah I get what you mean"
  Zippy says, "It still seems impossible"
  Virgil says, "Exactly"
  Axell says, "so ? but it is"
  Zippy says, "and on top of that 5 have been broken in a short period"
  Zippy says, "it went from seeming impossible to being very very real"
  Virgil turns it over in his hands.
/3/01 Virgil asks, "Are they all like this? The broken ones?"
  Axell says, "yes"
  Axell says, "I have seen 2 of them"
  Virgil scowls.
  Virgil says, "Whatever he's doing to them, then..."
  Virgil says, "it causes the identical damage"
  Zippy says, "So he is trying the same thing over and over..."
  (Axell nods)
  Virgil says, "Silly way to "travel the planes", if you ask me."
  Zippy says, "and since he is obviously failing we can plan on seeing
more broken pendants..."
  Virgil asks, "Gosh. Do you think we should ration them?"
  Zippy asks, "Do you see any more possible negative effect other than
the pendants being useless?"
  Virgil says, "It depends on him, I think"
  Virgil says, "if he manages to keep experimenting thus, and finds a
way to twist them"
  Zippy asks, "Are you suggesting something?"
  Virgil says, "well, I just don't know what might happen."
  Virgil says, "Not yet. It's still too abrupt; I'm trying to absorb
it."
  Virgil says, "I don't know that it's such a good idea for him to keep
meddling though"
  Zippy asks, "were you actually serious about a pendant ration?"
  Virgil says, "If the exiles are so anxious to trade, I don't see any
other way to limit the harm..."
  Virgil asks, "Or... Well, we could raise the price?"
  Zippy says, "That wouldn't really help those new 4th circlers.."
  Virgil asks, "Would Tenebrion stoop to subsidizing his suppliers?"
  Axell says, "hmm"
  Zippy says, "It is hard to say what Tenebrion would do"
  Virgil says, "And that's a point"
  Zippy says, "Maybe just get Beatrice to start keeping careful
records.."
  Axell asks, "only one pendant to healer ?"
  Zippy says, "1 pendant a piece even if they don't have it with them or
they sold it.."
  Virgil nods slowly
  Zippy says, "That would require some extra careful record keeping on
Beatrice's part"
  Virgil whispers, "I'm not sure she'd even be willing"
  Virgil says, "But I'll take it up with her."
  (Axell nods)
  Virgil says, "In the meantime"
  Zippy says, "Maybe Serquoit would help her"
  Zippy asks, "I suppose you need some quiet time to work on that
pendant eh?"
  Virgil says, "please, please be careful. We cannot tell what might
happen if this continues"
  (Zippy nods)
  (Axell nods)
  Zippy says, "and good luck to you figuring it out"
  Axell says, "keep it please"
  Virgil smiles wanly.
  Zippy says, "the broken one that is"
  Zippy says, "Have fun with it"
  (Zippy grins)
  Virgil says, "yes, thank you. This needs very detailed study"
  Zippy says, "Thanks for taking time out to help us"
  Axell says, "thank you"
  Virgil says, "Thank you for bringing this to my attention"
  (Axell bows)
  Zippy says, "We know you are busy training a bunch of people so we
really appreciate it"
  Zippy ponders, "I guess it would be a good time to leave him to his
work"
  Axell says, "we will come back in a few days..."
  Virgil studies the pendant intently.
  Zippy says, "Yes we look forward to hearing from you"
  Virgil says, "Splendid. Perhaps I'll know more by then."
  (Zippy nods)
  (Axell nods)
  Axell says, "bye :)"
  Pinko is now Clanning.
  Zippy says, "I hope he can do it"
  (Axell nods)

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER

I have recently been troubled by the involvement of
one of my clan sistahs, J'nder, in the Nox Sorora.
There were times when Lilit was very active in the
East Field, and I have been in a few battles there,
with her and others in league with her.  I have long
wondered about the relationship between Lilit and the
religion called Nox Sorora.

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Magnels says, "Sure thing. Shoot."
Charlos asks, "What's your opinion of the Nox Sorora?"
Magnels says, "I don't know too much 'bout them I
guess..."
Magnels says, "Lorian, a late clanmate of mine was in
it..."
Charlos asks, "Yes?"
Magnels says, "But from what I could gather..."
Magnels says, "Each member acts very differently."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Magnels says, "So I'm not really sure what to think of
the whole organization."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Magnels nods.)
Charlos says, "Never really seen many of em hangin out
together..."
Magnels says, "Yeah, true..."
Charlos asks, "Have you ever seen any of them in
action?"
Magnels asks, "How many members are in the lands these
days?"
Magnels says, "Oh... I've seen lilit..."
Charlos asks, "Performing rites.. etc..?"
(Magnels frowns.)
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Magnels says, "Can't say as I agree with what she's
doing."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Magnels ponders, "whatever it is."
Magnels says, "Can't say as I understand it
completely..."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Magnels says, "But I don't trust anything with
undine."
Magnels says, "I've met Indigo too though."
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Magnels says, "She seems nice... and seems to have
used her powers to help others at times."
Charlos asks, "Really?"
Magnels says, "So you can see why it's tough to get a
comprehensive picture of the organization ;)"
Magnels says, "Yeah... I seem to remember a time
awhile back..."
Magnels says, "She was helping to recover some lost
memories of another exile or something..."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Magnels says, "Don't remember exactly, but it was
helping."
Charlos says, "Well, thanks a lot for your time
Magnels"
Magnels says, "Sure thing ;)"

Charlos asks, "What's your opinion of the Nox Sorora?"
Elenis Reyav says, "They haven't done anything bad
yet, so they're fine."
Elenis Reyav says, "I say that for all exiles *grin*"
Charlos asks, "Meaning you think they might do
something bad?"
Charlos says, "ah"
(Elenis Reyav grins.)
Charlos asks, "Have you ever seen any of it's members
hanging out together?"
(Elenis Reyav nods.)
Elenis Reyav says, "Yep."
Charlos asks, "Congregating?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Err... not more than two..."
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What were they doing?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Chatting about Nox stuff..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Their relations to each other..."
Elenis Reyav says, "The opinions of Puddleby mostly."
Charlos says, "I have heard exiles say..."
Charlos says, "that there has been some harm done by
members of the Nox Sorora..."
Charlos says, "Summonings and such..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Hmm..."
Elenis Reyav says, "I've only seen Lilit doing
that..."
Charlos says, "Invasions led by Lilit"
  Charlos says, "Ah"
Elenis Reyav says, "Since it hasn't been more than one
exile... I can't say it was a Nox thing..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Just a Lilit thing."
Charlos asks, "So you see Lilit and the Nox Sorora as
two totally seperate things?"
Charlos says, "Nothing to do with each other..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Well... not totally separate of
course."
Elenis Reyav says, "One is a member of the other."
Elenis Reyav says, "And a high-ranking member too."
Charlos says, "I see"
Elenis Reyav says, "But each person is entitled to
their own actions as well..."
Charlos says, "And Lilit's actions have no relevance
to the Nox Sorora"
Elenis Reyav says, "Some do... some don't..."
Charlos says, "I see"
Elenis Reyav says, "I honestly haven't seen very many
that do though."
Charlos says, "Well, thanks a lot for your time ß-)"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "Sure thing!"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "I look forward to the next
Fishwrap!"

Charlos says, "Tell me about your affiliation with the
Nox Sorora"
Gurgi says, "I am a Gens Dea"
Charlos says, "Meaning..."
Gurgi says, "I serve the Goddess commonly known as
Night"
Charlos asks, "In what regard do you serve her?"
Gurgi says, "My first duty is to the Goddess and my
second to the particular priestess that I help to do
her work"
Charlos says, "I see"
Gurgi says, "Lilit is my priestess"
Gurgi says, "Though I help any of the priestesses and
other Gens that need help"
Charlos asks, "So a Gens is a...?"
Charlos says, "Forgive my ignorance"
Gurgi says, "A Gens is a follower of the Goddess that
is not a Priestess"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "Being male it is impossible for me to be
a priestess"
Gurgi says, "though females may be Gens"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "Are you able to discuss any particular
activities?"
Gurgi says, "i can discuss most things if you ask me"
Gurgi asks, "Is there something in particular you were
interested in?"
Charlos says, "Well, I suppose I am most interested in
Lilit"
Charlos says, "and your duty to her..."
Charlos says, "I have heard it said that you are her
"bodyguard""
Gurgi says, "Since I am her Gens Dea it is my duty to
help her succeed in her tasks"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "Obviously she cannot do much if she is
dead"
Charlos says, "True..."
Gurgi says, "And my skills mostly include those of
battle"
Gurgi says, "So I can serve her as body guard"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "protecting her from physical attacks"
Charlos says, "The undine don't always cooperate with
her rites.."
Gurgi says, "though tobe honest the physical attacks
tend to be more rare and less dangerous than other
forms"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What is the relationship between Lilit
and the Nox Sorora?"
Gurgi says, "Lilit is a Priestess of the Nox Sorora"
Gurgi says, "So she is a member of the Nox Sorora"
Charlos asks, "Is there any hierarchy within?"
Charlos asks, "Does she have a higher standing amongst
priestesses?"
1Gurgi says, "Matre Namaah is the head priestess"
Gurgi says, "All other priestesses are equal"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos says, "I have heard some say.."
Charlos says, "that Lilit's beliefs and those of the
Nox differ greatly"
Gurgi says, "Well everyone has different beliefs about
different things"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos says, "So there is a lot of room for
interpretation..."
Gurgi says, "For example some may believe you are
wearing a yellow shirt"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "and others may think it is muddy yellow
or gold"
Charlos says, "I see"
Gurgi says, "The Nox Sorora all share a core beleif"
Charlos says, "The worship of the Night"
Gurgi says, "We are all working together to do the
Goddesses will"
Charlos says, "I see"
Gurgi says, "And to be her weapons in the on going
battle against the forces of Leviathon"
Charlos says, "Leviathon..."
Gurgi says, "In a way we are all each other's body
gaurds"
Charlos ponders, "rings a bell..."
Gurgi says, "For each has their own strength"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi asks, "Have you read the passages on Lilit's
scrolls?"
Charlos says, "Yes, I have perused them briefly"
Gurgi says, "Leviathon is Night's first child who
turned on her for his own glory"
Gurgi says, "Essentially the ultimate goal of the Nox
Sorora is to purg the earth of Leviathon's influence"
Charlos asks, "Is he involved in the enslavement of
the Undine by the Darshak?"
Gurgi says, "Possibly"
Charlos says, "I see"
Gurgi says, "Leviathon has many servants"
Charlos says, "Well, I suppose if any of the readers
have more questions they should look at Lilit's
scrolls.."
Charlos asks, "Where are they by the way?"
Gurgi says, "aye, http://www.noxsorora.com is a good
place to look"
Gurgi says, "Much of the information is on Lilit in
particular too"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "She has a special gift that she uses to
battle the Darshak menace"
Gurgi says, "Other priestesses have other gifts"
Charlos asks, "Gift hmm?"
Gurgi says, "Some people see only Lilit's work and
assume we are undine worshippers"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "But Lilit's work is more an exception
than a rule"
Gurgi says, "Most of Nox Sorora's activites are much
less direct and obvious"
Charlos says, "She is a member in the Nox Sorora..."
Charlos says, "but her work with the undine in no way
reflects the sentiments of all of it's members"
Gurgi says, "It is not that they dont support her"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Gurgi says, "It is just that they do not all feel the
same way abou the undine as she does"
Charlos says, "I see"
Gurgi says, "Though we all recognize that her work is
very important"
Charlos says, "She is a member in good standing ß-)"
Gurgi says, "yes"
Gurgi says, "I am proud of all the priestesses"
Charlos says, "You've been an excellent interviewee
Gurgi"
Gurgi says, "Thank you"
Charlos says, "I thank you for your time and patience"
  Gurgi says, "any time"

MORE ON THE NOX SORORA NEXT ISSUE

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Dear Slyph"
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Callia, Charlos, K'Pyn,
Prue, Slyph, Tuan, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover
bloodhawk burrito with it in the afternoon"
Issue #26: "Argh.  Eerp."
[December 15, 2000]
Circulation: 123

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the new Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Manx's Portrait Raffle (50 coins per chance)
  - <http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/portrafl.html>
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Worg the Zo: <http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/>
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Althea the Sylvan
* Rael the Squonk
* Wormtongue
* Thorstorm the Zo
* Slyph the Sylvan: "Healer seeks many lessons with Faustus. See Manx."
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tenebrion up to something in Purgatory
* Paramedic becomes a 4th circle healer

brought to you by Norm:
* Tenebrion experimenting with pendants
* Tenebrion's island located
* Tenebrion seeks deals with clans
* Order of White Elephant wins big Dunsilar battle
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is STILL looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.

The Fen audience is requesting a Fen reporter.  Any Fen interested?

Advertising rates are quite affordable.  Your ad will be read by well
over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
A MEETING WITH FALINEA

By senior reporter Crippler the Thoom

Greeting fellow exiles. Not long ago I was hunting in the Savanna with
Phiros, Leogic, Farhope, Drue Dreemi, Goliath and Shard. Drue Dreemi
fell to a rather large maha and because Horus and I had an argument
over the best fishing holes on the island, I didn't quite have the
training to heal him. Things were looking bleak when out of the high
grass Falinea apperaed. She was nice enough to use her moonstone on
Drue Dreemi, and with mine we were able to raise him. Here is a
transcript of our meeting with her. I am not used to those of her race
and her large wings made me nervous, so I didn't say much. But the
others did.

Farhope says, "Greetings, Falinea"
Shard says, "hello"
Leogic asks, "What brings you out here, Miss?"
Falinea says, "nice grazing here :-)"
(Leogic nods)
Farhope ponders, "she is so nice!"
Phiros says, "I pray to you often, Falinea"
Phiros says, "It's so nice to see you agian."
Leogic ponders, "why pray to a winged centaur?."
Falinea says, "If I were a god, I might hear you Phiros, but I
appreciate the sentiment"
(Falinea grins)
(Farhope smiles)
Phiros says, "Ancients are like gods."
Crippler asks, "you got a moonstone?"
Phiros says, "To me, anyway"
*You don't quite have the training to heal these injuries.
Crippler asks, "you got a moonstone?"
Phiros says, "Anyhow."
Leogic asks, "Wouldn't happen to have a moonstone handy , Miss
Falinea?"
Falinea asks, "I'm not much of a healer anymore, but perhaps I can
help?"
Leogic says, "Thanks"
Falinea says, "ahhh"
Falinea says, "most welcome"
Crippler says, "yippee"
Leogic asks, "What happened to your last one, Shatter?"
(Drue'Dreemi looks confused)
Falinea says, "yes, when Bartok took the altar"
(Leogic nods)
Falinea says, "knocked me clean out, for several days"
(Leogic nods)
Leogic says, "I heard it blew up"
Phiros says, "Good question"
Falinea says, "had to make a quest to my old home, to get a new one"
Leogic says, "I thought that your home island was blown up"
Falinea says, "I'm not an ancient, either, really"
(Farhope doesn't stop looking at Falinea, awestrucked)
Falinea says, "Gaia is the only one I know"
Phiros asks, "Oh really?"
(Leogic nods)
Leogic says, "We haven't seen her lately"
Falinea says, "I'm just a winged centaur"
Phiros asks, "What are you then?"
Leogic says, "Tell her hello for us."
Phiros says, "Well you got a pretty nice temple."
Falinea says, "I don't see her often either, but I will surely do so if
I do"
(Drue'Dreemi looks at the centaur questioningly.)
Leogic says, "By the way"
Falinea says, "yes, the exiles did me great honor."
Leogic says, "You hit awfully hard, for a healer folk."
(Phiros smiles)
Farhope exclaims, "Thank you, Crippler!"
Falinea says, "but they seemed to be under the misapprehension that I
am a god"
Leogic ponders, "hoof attack."
Phiros says, "Perhaps I can visit your tower in sacred grove sometime."
Falinea says, "I'm a fighter, actually"
Leogic says, "You are one of a kind"
Leogic says, "So they assume"
(Drue'Dreemi looks at the centaur questioningly.)
Falinea says, "but my folk can do both, which I gather yours cannot"
Leogic says, "Hm, nope"
Leogic says, "I'm not permitted"
Phiros says, "I would like to learn to have multi abilities like
yourself."
Leogic says, "Otherwise the moonstone fries my skin."
Falinea says, "I know of no way for that to happen--it was something I
as born with"
(Phiros nods)
(Farhope smiles at Crippler)
Falinea says, "one of those species things"
(Leogic nods)
(Drue'Dreemi looks confused.)
JThuja thinks, "Thanks."
Falinea has not disclosed her race, is female, is a Fighter, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
She is holding a moonstone and a wooden shield.
Falinea says, "well, except that I appear to be the last of my kind,
yes"
(Falinea looks sad)
Falinea says, "and Master Hekus's training is very slow for me"
Phiros says, "aww"
Phiros says, "=\"
(Drue'Dreemi looks at the centaur.)
Phiros says, "That is sad"
Leogic says, "Well, maybe you can find a nice centaur hubby on Centaur
Island"
Phiros asks, "Have you spoken to the centaurs on centaur island?"
Falinea says, "those are cousins--it's just not done"
(Leogic nods)
Phiros says, "They have not wings, but they are your kind."
Leogic says, "cultural thing."
Falinea says, "I'm not even sure its possible, technically <g>"
Phiros says, "I wish you would visit more often Falinea"
Falinea says, "Greetings Goliath"
Bigfat is now Clanning.
Goliat says, "hello my lady =)"
Falinea says, "I must recharge"
Crippler exclaims, "me too!"
Goliat says, "thank you =)"
Falinea says, "I'm glad we were able to help"
Leogic says, "Well, good thing that the islands around here prevent
aging"
(Drue'Dreemi sighs.)
Falinea says, "heh"
Leogic says, "You will probably be around a long time"
Falinea says, "I certainly hope to be"
Falinea says, "and we are a long-lived race, in any case"
Leogic asks, "Where ANY of your kind away durring the assault?"
Falinea says, "not that I know of"
Leogic says, "I think that, living on an island, that it is more than
likely"
Falinea says, "one reason I'm not often here is that I continue to
search other islands"
(Leogic nods)
Falinea says, "hoping for a trace of my family"
Phiros asks, "What have you found?"
Falinea says, "nothing, so far"
Falinea says, "some signs, possibly, that some may have passed through"
Phiros asks, "have you found any other settlements?"
Leogic asks, "Have you visited the island to the sw part of the ocean?"
Falinea says, "yes"
Leogic says, "It looks barren from the ocean"
Leogic says, "but I was wondereing what was on it"
(Phiros listens)
Falinea says, "I have flown over it--there don't appear to be many good
landing spots there"
Phiros asks, "Where that be?"
Leogic says, "Coral reefs keep us from entering"
Phiros says, "ah ha..."
Falinea says, "it looks rather inhospitable from above"
Leogic asks, "Monsters or trees?"
Phiros asks, "Perhaps you can carry us there?"
(Drue'Dreemi looks confused.)
Falinea says, "I fear the positioning of my wings makes that
impossible"
Leogic says, "Hm, I dont think her wings would bear us."
Falinea says, "nowhere for you to sit, really"
Phiros asks, "You have arms hmm?"
Crippler says, "Farhope might could fit"
Leogic says, "and for us to hold onto her legs would be painful"
Farhope ponders, "perhaps she can takes me in her arms :-)"
Falinea says, "yes"
Leogic says, "hm"
Falinea says, "well friends, it has been lovely speaking with you"
Falinea says, "but I must go walk my hunting hounds"
Crippler says, "bye Falinea"
(Leogic waves)
Falinea ponders, "before they chew my leg off <g>)"
Phiros exclaims, "Visit agian soon!"
Leogic says, "Seeya around"
Falinea exclaims, "farewell, and good hunting!"
Vata is now Clanning.
(Falinea waves.)
(Crippler waves in a thoomy manner.)
Farhope exclaims, "soon I hope Falinea!"
(Phiros waves)
Shard says, "and to you"
(Falinea flies away.)
Goliat says, "thank you again"
(Drue'Dreemi waves.)

#####
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#####
A LETTER FROM TENEBRION

Delivered to Shamhat via special courier

People of Puddleby,

I have been taken advantage of for the last time. Our verbal
agreement allowed a three zodiac period for your town to present a
written treaty. The treaty has not been forthcoming.

I held my end of the agreement at great personal expense. As a direct
result of my staying the hand of my mercenary guards and preventing
them raiding your town in vengeance for their fallen comrades, the
Darshak traitors were able to bribe a contingent of the guards to
rise against me. I was forced to negotiate new employment terms with
the ones who did not join the rebellion and it has severely depleted
my treasury.

I will no longer entertain any treaty negotiations with your town as
a whole. In gratitude for those who helped me quell the rebellion,
and in the last vestiges of hope that some peace may still exist
between us, I ask your clans to strike their own treaty agreements
with me. I hold one such treaty with one of your clans. I hope that
more might be entered.

The magic I have used to hold the fog around the shores of my island
grows weak. I ask that those who seek peace to refrain from any
invasion of my privacy and come to my domain only by express
invitation. Any other excursion upon my property will be deemed an
invasion and be met with force and retribution.

If you seek an audience, please contact my good and loyal friend,
Tyking, and he will inform me so that a time might be arranged.

My studies call for more of your pendants which allow access to
purgatory. I continue my offer of an exchange of a Sword of Souls for
a pendant to any who would trade with me and earn my gratitude and
friendship.

One of your scholars, Malkor, stole a Sword of Souls. I ask that he
be brought to what justice you have at your disposal and that the
stolen item be returned. I will raise a reward for any who return my
stolen property. I will offer the same reward for his head on a
platter.

Tenebrion.

#####
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#####
OVERHEARD IN PUDDLEBY

Slyph says, "Para I would like to take out an ad then"
(Manx laughs.)
Paramedic says, "all right."
Manx ponders, "Slyph's escort service no doubt"
Slyph says, ""Healer seeks many lessons with Faustus. See Manx.""
Slyph hands you 25 coins.
Manx says, "Why you..."
(Manx chokes Slyph.)
(Manx tears at Slyph's hair.)
Slyph says, "argh"
Leogic says, "Ok enough of that"
Slyph says, "eerp"
Natsu yells, "help! hooded corpse!"
Elise says, "sigh"

#####
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#####
PURGATORY MEDDLINGS?

The following account comes from Callia:

12/14/00 7:30:21p * You feel a strange emanation from purgatory.
12/14/00 7:30:28p Callia exclaims, "uh!"
12/14/00 7:30:32p Neige ponders, "hum"
12/14/00 7:30:38p Phiros ponders, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:30:38p Diotima thinks, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:30:39p Callia says, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:30:45p Callia thinks, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:30:46p Manx attempts to project into another plane.
12/14/00 7:30:47p Raldin thinks, "somethings up in Prug"
12/14/00 7:30:50p Benylin asks, "weird...?"
12/14/00 7:30:50p Phiros thinks, "Can a 4th circle healer go check that
out?"
12/14/00 7:30:50p Leogic thinks, "hm...."
12/14/00 7:30:50p Tondalayo thinks, "ack =("
12/14/00 7:30:52p Aurian thinks, "nuts"
12/14/00 7:30:59p Benylin thinks, "manx going there"
12/14/00 7:31:00p Neige ponders, "aw drats"
12/14/00 7:31:01p Devil thinks, "prolly Tenebrion messing around in
there"
12/14/00 7:31:04p Callia thinks, "Manx is going"
12/14/00 7:31:06p Leogic thinks, "I think its about time we had a
serious chat with Tenebrion"
12/14/00 7:31:08p Raldin thinks, "carefull there may be baddies"
12/14/00 7:31:09p Aurian thinks, "or a weak sucker run to the abyss and
depart"
12/14/00 7:31:25p You think to Manx, "anything?"
12/14/00 7:31:26p You concentrate on sending your message to Manx.
12/14/00 7:31:32p Manx thinks to you, "not yet"
12/14/00 7:31:51p Valtrim thinks, "*laughs* * I think we should've had
a more "serious" chat with Teneb before someone gave him a pendant. ;)"
12/14/00 7:31:55p Phiros thinks, "What you find Manx?"
12/14/00 7:32:11p Manx thinks, "I don't see anything. But I feel kinda
funny."
12/14/00 7:32:16p Leogic thinks, "he said, he found out 4 ways to break
it,"
12/14/00 7:32:25p Callia thinks, "funny how?"
12/14/00 7:33:19p Leogic thinks, "shortly, we need to pay a visit to
Tenebrion, though someone needs to Herald our visit."
12/14/00 7:33:39p Manx thinks to you, "who is Gollum?"
12/14/00 7:33:46p Neige whispers, "did she answer you?"
12/14/00 7:33:51p You think to Manx, "just some player I think"
12/14/00 7:33:52p You concentrate on sending your message to Manx.
12/14/00 7:33:57p Callia whispers, "yes..."
12/14/00 7:33:58p Manx thinks to you, "okay"
12/14/00 7:33:59p Phiros thinks, "No, I think its high time he comes
and pays us a visit."
12/14/00 7:34:05p Callia whispers, "we're talking now"
12/14/00 7:34:05p Neige whispers, "may I hear it?"
12/14/00 7:34:11p Leogic thinks, "that will not happen"
12/14/00 7:34:18p Callia whispers, "she didn't say why she felt funny
though"
12/14/00 7:34:37p Callia says, "hm... Hekus"
12/14/00 7:34:37p Leogic thinks, "then, again, I could be wrong."
12/14/00 7:34:46p Constance thinks, "i still have never met this
Tenebrion,
is he a charming fellow?"
12/14/00 7:35:08p Leogic thinks, "very charming, yes, and polite."
12/14/00 7:35:12p Callia asks, "Master Hekus?"
12/14/00 7:35:13p Neige asks, "Master Hekus?"
12/14/00 7:35:18p Manx thinks, "Nothing unusual in Purgatory."
12/14/00 7:35:25p Master Hekus says, "I'm sorry, Neige. As a Mystic in
training, you cannot become a Healer."
12/14/00 7:35:42p Neige ponders, "hum.. Mystic.. neat ;o)"
12/14/00 7:35:48p Aurian thinks, "well i guess its the same power that
comes from the OC. The one we never become affected by =P"
12/14/00 7:35:48p (Callia laughs)
12/14/00 7:35:54p Callia says, "it's a loooooooong road"
12/14/00 7:36:02p (Neige nods)
12/14/00 7:36:04p Valtrim thinks, "I'd seriously doubt it's the same
power."
12/14/00 7:36:21p Callia thinks, "why would you make such an assumption
Aurion?"
12/14/00 7:36:34p Aurian thinks, "because i was poking fun at our
failed raids."
12/14/00 7:37:46p Aurian thinks, "its weird that purgatory is affected
by tenebrion if he's "not in the lands""
12/14/00 7:38:11p Neige asks, "Ask Manx to speak to Virgil?"
12/14/00 7:38:14p Leogic thinks, "He is always in the lands, though we
cannot always sence him, when he does not with to be."
12/14/00 7:38:17p (Callia shrugs)
12/14/00 7:38:30p Aurian thinks, ":¬j"
12/14/00 7:39:47p Callia says, "its' very disturbing"
12/14/00 7:39:55p Neige ponders, "a warning.."
12/14/00 7:40:20p Callia says, "yes.. definitly"
12/14/00 7:40:22p Neige says, "something screwy is going to append.. we
just got warn to do osmehitng about it"
12/14/00 7:40:35p (Callia nods)
12/14/00 7:40:49p Callia says, "very disturbing"
12/14/00 7:41:10p Neige says, "well, Tenebrion could be behind it, or
the altar in the Orga village"
12/14/00 7:41:21p (Callia shrugs)
12/14/00 7:41:26p Callia says, "who can say"
12/14/00 7:41:30p Callia says, "Purgatory is old"
12/14/00 7:41:33p Neige says, "we should (heh)"
12/14/00 7:41:37p (Neige nods)
12/14/00 7:41:42p (Callia shakes her head)
12/14/00 7:41:47p Callia says, "there's too much it could be"
12/14/00 7:41:54p Neige says, "o well.. something to work on."
12/14/00 7:41:56p Callia says, "it could be a normal pertebation"
12/14/00 7:42:04p Aurian thinks, "i fear i might not make it. Im not
sure im strong enough. But i shall try"
12/14/00 7:42:20p Manx ponders, "library"
12/14/00 7:42:24p Callia says, "it could be a sign that Purgatory is
reaching it's old age"
12/14/00 7:42:30p Neige says, "ack"
12/14/00 7:42:34p Manx is no longer Clanning.
12/14/00 7:42:38p Neige asks, "need a new one?"
12/14/00 7:42:43p Neige says, "hum"
12/14/00 7:42:45p Callia says, "it could be a sign that Tenebrion is
tampering with it"
12/14/00 7:42:49p (Neige nods)
12/14/00 7:43:01p Callia says, "I doubt that we have the ability to
create a new Purgatory"
12/14/00 7:43:04p Neige says, "well, I have to run again.. I will think
about it"
12/14/00 7:43:13p (Callia nods)
12/14/00 7:43:14p (Neige waves)
12/14/00 7:43:15p (Callia waves.)
12/14/00 7:43:18p Drenn says, "Hello Neige"
12/14/00 7:43:19p Neige says, "'lo drenn"
12/14/00 7:43:21p (Neige waves)
12/14/00 7:43:25p Brage asks, "did manx find anything in purg?"
12/14/00 7:43:36p Callia says, "not to my knowledge"
12/14/00 7:43:45p Callia says, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:43:50p Callia says, "but I remain concerned"
12/14/00 7:43:54p (Brage nods)
12/14/00 7:44:03p Neige is no longer Clanning.
12/14/00 7:44:06p Brage says, "aye, not a good sign"
12/14/00 7:44:10p Callia says, "no"
12/14/00 7:44:24p Brage ponders, "thoom"
12/14/00 7:48:50p Nevyn is now Clanning.
12/14/00 7:49:36p You think to Nevyn, "most of the mystics in the lands
just sensed this: * You feel a strange emanation from purgatory."
12/14/00 7:49:36p You concentrate on sending your message to Nevyn.
12/14/00 7:50:35p Nevyn thinks to you, "Arrrrrgh! Before I emerged
yes?"
12/14/00 7:50:48p You think to Nevyn, "from the library? yes"
12/14/00 7:50:48p You concentrate on sending your message to Nevyn.
12/14/00 7:51:11p Nevyn thinks to you, "Has a 4c healer gone to check
it out?"
12/14/00 7:51:25p You think to Nevyn, "Manx did, she didn't seen
anything unusual"
12/14/00 7:51:25p You concentrate on sending your message to Nevyn.
12/14/00 7:51:42p You think to Nevyn, "still troubling"
12/14/00 7:51:42p You concentrate on sending your message to Nevyn.
12/14/00 7:52:05p Aurian thinks, "i found out what was up with purg."
12/14/00 7:52:18p Leogic thinks, "??"
12/14/00 7:52:25p Aurian thinks, "tenebrion told me"
12/14/00 7:52:34p Brage says, "thoom"
12/14/00 7:52:35p Leogic thinks, "please do enlighten us"
12/14/00 7:52:36p Callia thinks, "what did he say?"
12/14/00 7:52:42p Aurian thinks, "he broke a pendant"
12/14/00 7:53:28p Brage says, "there have just been some stange things
in purgatory that the mystics felt"
12/14/00 7:53:30p Nevyn thinks, "Great, he didn't _quite_ manage to
break
Purgatory though. I sure hope we give him another couple pendants."
12/14/00 7:53:35p Bones asks, "in purg?"
12/14/00 7:53:52p Bones asks, "should i go?"
12/14/00 7:54:02p Brage says, "there was nothing there i think"
12/14/00 7:54:12p Leogic thinks, "some folks have either a sadistic
sence of curiosity, or are very foolish to give him another."
12/14/00 7:54:12p Aurian thinks, "well, yes he asked me to get some.
which i cant really do."
12/14/00 7:54:32p Aurian thinks, "i shall try so that both sides may be
happy"
12/14/00 7:54:41p Brage says, "callia and the other mystics all felt
something though"
12/14/00 7:54:50p Callia says, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:55:01p Leogic thinks, "going down in Teneb Island"
12/14/00 7:55:02p Bones says, "how long ago"
12/14/00 7:55:07p Nevyn says, "I can't believe it."
12/14/00 7:55:07p Callia says, "hmm..."
12/14/00 7:55:20p Sarmanikan asks, "whats wrong Nevyn?"
12/14/00 7:55:20p Callia asks, "OOC 10 minutes maybe?"
12/14/00 7:55:20p Brage says, "6:35pm"
12/14/00 7:55:28p Brage says, "i checked with algy"
12/14/00 7:55:45p Nevyn says, "Puddlebean idiots."
12/14/00 7:55:45p Sarmanikan asks, "what happened??"
12/14/00 7:56:44p Sarmanikan thinks, "is something going on with
tenebrion?
someone just said something about purgatory"
12/14/00 7:56:45p Nevyn says, "Tenebrion broke yet another pendant, and
Purgatory was rocked by effect."
12/14/00 7:56:46p Sarmanikan asks, "what happened in purg?"
12/14/00 7:56:47p Nevyn says, "This is... unbeleivable."
12/14/00 7:56:52p Nevyn says, "Aurian wants to find him another
pendant."
12/14/00 7:57:03p Nevyn says, "Sigh."
12/14/00 7:57:10p Sarmanikan asks, "what happened to purg though when
he broke the pendant?"
12/14/00 7:57:24p Callia says, "* You feel a strange emanation from
purgatory."
12/14/00 7:57:27p Nevyn says, "It was filled with flowers and
butterflies."
12/14/00 7:57:30p Callia says, "THAT happened"
12/14/00 7:57:37p Nevyn says, "Nothing GOOD."
12/14/00 7:57:41p Callia says, "every mystic in the lands at the time
felt it"
12/14/00 7:57:48p Groan thinks, "Leogic is on Tenebrion's island, and
is
quite badly fallen. Any healers?"
12/14/00 7:57:57p Sarmanikan says, "odd.."
12/14/00 7:58:00p Sarmanikan says, "hmm"
12/14/00 7:58:02p (Callia looks worried)
12/14/00 7:58:05p Leogic is still fallen to a Faithless.
12/14/00 7:58:07p Nevyn says, "I wonder how many rifts it will take
this
time."
12/14/00 7:58:14p Brage ponders, "thoom"
12/14/00 7:58:14p Sarmanikan asks, "Aurian did you give Tenebrion a
pendant??"
12/14/00 7:58:16p Callia says, "a lot"
12/14/00 7:58:26p Nevyn says, "'oh they look harmless'"
12/14/00 7:58:31p Callia says, "right"
12/14/00 7:58:33p Nevyn says, "'oh, he's nice really'"
12/14/00 7:58:37p (Callia nods)
12/14/00 7:58:46p Debra says, "i will sell ya one for 11k aurian :P"
12/14/00 7:58:47p Callia says, "they never learn"
12/14/00 7:58:54p Nevyn says, "Sorry, more than a little upset."
12/14/00 7:58:58p (Callia nods)
12/14/00 7:59:07p Callia says, "with good reason"
12/14/00 7:59:35p Callia says, "if purgatory breaks, we have to do
without"
12/14/00 7:59:48p Callia says, "and I think it could"
12/14/00 8:00:17p Nevyn says, "I hope it's some damn fine armor."
12/14/00 8:00:27p (Callia laughs)
12/14/00 8:00:33p Callia says, "I doubt it will be :)"
12/14/00 8:00:33p (Brage splashes in the puddle)
12/14/00 8:00:56p Nevyn says, "I'd image it will be called Soul Plate,
andgive me a happy happy feeling."
12/14/00 8:01:08p (Brage chuckles)
12/14/00 8:01:09p Callia says, "some of these people would sell our
souls for a piece of rock candy"

#####
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CHARLOS' CORNER

I found this scrawled outside the entrance to the
Arachnoids Cavern:

Though short, with a stubby wee beard.....
Charlos, the dorf, must be feared....
His great big strong legs.....
And his arms like thick pegs.....
Make him strong (though he looks rather weird)
--Sleipnir--

I'm gonna wring his puny little neck.
---
Here's another installment of Dorf on the Street.

Valtrim asks, "Who?"
Charlos says, "Tenebrion"
Valtrim asks, "Oh, the "Sword of Souls" vendor?"
Charlos says, "yeap"
Valtrim asks, "Hmm. Don't know. I haven't really considered it much.
You met him?"
Charlos says, "nope"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Valtrim says, "Well, I suppose he wants to be
practically immortal, just like the rest of us."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Valtrim says, "Trusted? No more or less than anyone else, I suppose."

Charlos asks, "Koric , how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Koric says, "No opinion. I haven't met him."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Koric asks, "Isn't everyone interested in purgatory?"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Koric says, "An uninformed opinion is worse than no opinion, so no
opinion."

Charlos asks, "Undertow E'flei , how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Undertow E'flei says, "I don't."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Undertow E'flei says, "As long as he doesn't start killing me when I
depart, I'll be happy."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Undertow E'flei says, "Hasn't shown enough to be sure."

Charlos asks, "Fanan, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Fanan says, "I feel nothing about him."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Fanan says, "I don't beleive he has any true interest in Purgatory."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Fanan says, "Trust is not to be entered into lightly. There is not
enough information to answer that."

Charlos asks, "Darlorian , how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Darlorian says, "we trash his castle when we want"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Darlorian says, "I am not sure he has an interest in
purgatory"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Darlorian says, "no he shouldn't be trusted"

Charlos asks, "Wisher, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Wisher says, "Don't really like him, necromancy seems nasty, but I'm
undecided overall"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Wisher says, "That worries me, I fear he'll abuse the power that takes
us there"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Wisher says, "Hmm. In general, I'd say no."

Charlos asks, "Thirteenth Rat , how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
(Thirteenth Rat shrugs)
Thirteenth Rat says, "good hunting"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Thirteenth Rat says, "I let the mystics worry about it"
Thirteenth Rat says, "no"

Charlos asks, "Nyika, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Nyika says, "I am unsure. Sometimes I think he is just a confused
person who lacks appropriate communications skills"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Nyika says, "Not till we know more"

Raldin says, "don't trust 'em"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Raldin says, "uhm :>"
Raldin says, "it's bad"

Charlos asks, "Kalle, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Kalle' says, "He's nice but misunderstood"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Kalle' says, "I think he just is interested in a new toy."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Kalle' says, "He seems nice enough."

Charlos asks, "Sutai, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Sutai says, "Althea asked me about fashion for fishwrap a few days ago,
though..."
Sutai asks, "Oh, Tenebrion?"
Sutai says, "Tenebrion is a nice guy, I guess."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Sutai says, "He just needs some wasabi to crear up his sinus and be
ress uptight about us."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Sutai says, "For now, no.."
Sutai says, "We should be..."
Sutai says, "hehe"
Charlos asks, "hmm?"
Sutai says, "Nice interview : P"
(Sutai grins.)
(Sutai bows)
(Charlos bows)
Sutai says, "Not rearry."

Robin Greyhawk says, "I don't know too much about him"
Robin Greyhawk says, "but he seems to be a seeker of
knowledge"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Robin Greyhawk says, "not completely"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap"
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Tarf says, "hmmm, no comment"

Charlos asks, "Luthic Darkus, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Luthic Darkus says, "Dunno haven't been..."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Luthic Darkus says, "Dunno haven't been ;)"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Luthic Darkus says, "Uh, yes? wait no...hm.."
Luthic Darkus says, "Yes. That's my final answer"

Dagiris says, "err. No opinion"

Charlos asks, "Crystal , how do you feel about Tenebrion?
Crystal says, "I don't feel anything"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
(Crystal shrugs)
Crystal says, "his actions speak for his trustworthiness"

Charlos asks, "Vree, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
V'ree says, "He's a good person so far... I think"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
V'ree says, "I think he's just a little too interested"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
V'ree says, "depends on what he does next"

Charlos asks, "Fist of Fluff , how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Fist of Fluff says, "I feel purgatory is for exiles"
Fist of Fluff says, "Not someone from the outside"

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap"
Magazine, care to answer a couple questions?"
Sparrow says, "Oh, sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Sparrow"
Charlos whispers, "I'm pressed for time so please try and be brief 8-)"
Charlos asks, "Sparrow, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Sparrow says, "I believe he is cursed"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Sparrow says, "It is a dangerous ground he is trampling on"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Sparrow says, "no"

Arteress Lai says, "I do not like the idea of ending up in his Freezer.
Push his boat off the docks and leave him be, I say"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Arteress Lai says, "Giving him access to Purgatory would be a fine way
to end up in the aforementioned Freezer."
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Arteress Lai says, "I do not believe he can be trusted"

Bizob asks, "or who you asking?"
Achates says, "sure"
Bizob asks, "new job?"
Neige ponders, "hum.. blood covered soil"
Charlos asks, "you ain't seen Charlos' corner?"
Natas says, "heh"
Bizob says, "heh"
Bizob says, "um, no"
Neige says, "haven't yet, but I will C"
Natas says, "I can't read but the pics are cool"
Charlos says, "I'm a roving reporter for the 'wrap"
(Achates smiles.)
Bizob ponders, "where have I been?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Elephants: Natas, Sephiroth, Achates,
Neige and Bizob"
Charlos says, "Neige has told me some of what he feels..."
Natas says, "yo charlos"
Bizob says, "he's in the zone"
Charlos asks, "What do you exiles think about Tenebrion?"
Achates exclaims, "causing a rift war!"
Sephiroth says, "Indifferent."
Bizob says, "kill him and take his stuff"
Natas says, "not to be trusted"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Neige says, "he's too smart for his own good.. he needs to be put
down.. remove from power or simply killed"
Neige says, "that it will lead to no good"
Bizob says, "don't let him look, kill him and take his stuff before he
gets to"
Achates says, "ability to make rifts is quite dangerous I have heard"
Natas says, "heh biz"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Mongo yells, "anyone need help?"
Achates says, "never"
Charlos yells, "Run for your lives Exiles!!!"
Natas says, "no"
Bizob yells, "Yar!"
Neige says, "he learns of purg.. he moves on to mirrors.. he learns of
mirrors.. he's really going to start screwing us up"
Sephiroth says, "Not with anything major."
Bizob says, "no"
Mario OneEye thinks, "nyika is fallen in nnf, can we get some help"
(Bizob wizaves)
(Neige waves)
Mongo says, "hello Elephants :)"
Bizob says, "hizail mongo"
Sephiroth says, "hi"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Natas says, "hi dorf"
Bizob asks, "are those the boxed questions?"
Achates says, "he messing with different planes...rifts I believe him
to be seeking"
Mongo is a Dwarf, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
the Dwarven Militia.
He is holding a taintless club and a wooden shield.
(Mongo wears a Taintless loincloth, and not much else.)
Mongo says, "I think some exiles fell in the NNF...but I can't get in
(no PF)"
Bizob says, "ok let's go"
Charlos says, "yeap"

Artworx says, "that's a hard one to call.."
Artworx says, "if I were him, I would be interested in things I do not
know of.."
Artworx says, "thus his interest in Purg.."
Artworx says, "I'm not sure we can trust him though.."

Mr Pudding says, "Well I think he shouldn't go for things only the most
powerful people have"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Mr Pudding says, "Not good"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Mr Pudding says, "Yes."

Johan says, "well he is kinda bad"
Johan says, "I don't like it at all"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Johan says, "well, depends sometimes"

Dierdre says, "'Nice guy, should stay home"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Dierdre says, "I never go there, let him have it"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Dierdre exclaims, "NO!"

Aki says, "He seems to have knowledges which I seek"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Aki says, "Yes he seems to be interested in portals, not only purgatory
pendant"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Aki says, "I have no answer for that."

Chimba says, "I only feel about women"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Chimba says, "I refer the woods"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Chimba says, "prolly not he's a man"

Ace Rimmer says, "Hate'm"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Ace Rimmer says, "Dunno"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Ace Rimmer says, "Prolly not"

Trillium says, "He seems nice."
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Trillium says, "He needs a new interest"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Trillium says, "Probably not."

Neige says, "Charlos, Tenebrion is interested in portals"
Neige says, "he considering purgatory to be a portal of small
importance"
Neige whispers, "my guess is that he wants to learn about purgatory to
help him get started in learning of these portals"
Neige whispers, "the guy is smart, he won't screw up by going too fast
with learning about the portals"

Charlos asks, "Cyrril Co'Fei, how do you feel about Tenebrion?"
Cyrril Co'Fei says, "I think we need to leave him alone, maybe we can
be friends"
Charlos asks, "and what of his interest in purgatory?"
Cyrril Co'Fei says, "Let him see it, can't hurt us any"
Charlos asks, "Should he be trusted?"
Cyrril Co'Fei says, "Not immediately, but given the
time, yes"

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Dear Slyph"
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tuan,
Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover feral
fajitas with it in the afternoon"
Issue #25: The Artak, the Witch, and the Dorf Probe
[December 9, 2000]
Circulation: 120

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Deadmeat: <http://www.sundragonclan.com/Sor/Deadmeat.html>
* Mac-arena the Zo: <http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/>
* Worg the Zo: <http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/>
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Thooms preparing for festive Thoomas party
* Tenebrion's guards revolt

brought to you by Norm:
* Tenebrion asks exiles for help against his rebellious guards
* Darshak involved with the rebellion
* Demand increases for beer ingredients
* Orga Camp raids continue
* Ma Tota and the magical mystery tor
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.  Advertising rates are quite affordable.
Your ad will be read by well over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH TERE THE WITCH

(Paramedic thinks an interview with a witch would be a fine scoop for
the Fishwrap.)
Paramedic asks, "Tere, would you like to be interviewed for the
Fishwrap?"
Tere says, "sure Paramedic."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Tere asks, "will it take long?"
Paramedic says, "Naah"
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions."
Paramedic asks, "1) What is it like being a witch?"
Tere asks, "does it pay well?"
Paramedic says, "Well you get free publicity"
Tere says, "you might as well ask me what it's not like."
Tere asks, "how do I answer that?"
Tere says, "it should be profitable."
Paramedic says, "it is, in a fashion"
Paramedic says, "you'll attract more attention"
Tere says, "alright..."
(Soulmaster drops a little bunny rabbit next to Tere, to see if she
will ruthlessly slaughter it, with no compassion for life)
(Soulmaster runs)
(Tere picks up the bunny and puts it in her pack)
Tere ponders, "for later"
Paramedic says, "1) What does it mean to be a witch (to put it
differently)"
Soulmaster ponders, "I bet she if gonna skin it alive with Babbs!"
Tere says, "it means you live your life with Benevolence"
(Tere exudes benevolence)
Paramedic says, "But witches aren't known for doing good things"
Tere says, "I do many good things"
Paramedic asks, "such as?"
Tere says, "I loaned Malkor coin"
Tere says, "I allow people to feel good by helping out a poor needy
witch"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "what other witch-duties are there?"
Tere says, "reflecting the souls that are around you."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Tere says, "we have more mundane duties of course..."
Paramedic asks, "such as?"
Tere says, "Una must be beaten daily, for example."
Paramedic says, "that sounds bad"
Tere says, "not at all."
Paramedic says, "hrm."
Tere says, "its good for the back."
(Tere shows her back)
Tere asks, "see how muscular?"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I see"
Tere says, "you don't get that by coddling Una"
Paramedic says, "OK...."
Paramedic asks, "2) So you aren't evil personified?"
Tere asks, "moi?"
Paramedic says, "yeah you"
Tere says, "of course not. who told you such a silly thing."
Paramedic says, "that's the general consensus"
Tere says, "its bigotry"
Tere says, "if I had a visionstone of my first day back on the isle..."
(Paramedic listens)
Tere says, "nothing but cruelty from the town"
Paramedic asks, "So you think there is witch-discrimination in
Puddleby?"
Tere says, "absolutely."
Wrath says, "nothing wrong with witches..."
(Soulmaster drops a chocolate coin in Tere's "bag")
Tere says, "consider: a witch can't win in court here"
Soulmaster ponders, "I'm too generous"
(Tere hisses at Soulmaster)
Tere says, "go away short and feeble one."
(Soulmaster puts a biscuit in Tere's mouth)
Tigger says, "Bah Prue won against me."
Tigger says, "Of course she bribed the jurors."
Tere asks, "see what I mean?"
Paramedic asks, "3) Why do people have such bad ideas of witches, do
you think?"
Groan ponders, "what's discriminating about burning witches?"
Tere says, "I can't be interviewed without harassment"
Bones exclaims, "you can't escape me!"
Soulmaster ponders, "no respect"
Tere says, "one exile even tried to torch my sister in town."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Soulmaster ponders, "I give her my last chocolate copper, and I don't
even get a thank you"
Tere says, "she was standing there."
igger says, "Well when one sees a witch, and some nice dry wood nearby
the temptation is too great."
Tere says, "so you see... being a witch is not an easy thing."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Soulmaster ponders, "it's because she weighed as much as a duck,
obviously"
Paramedic says, "hrm"
Tere says, "yet we have been around for a long long time."
Paramedic asks, "Why are there no thoom or fen witches?"
(Tere shrugs)
Tere asks, "no skill for it?"
Tigger ponders, "a Fen witch...preposterous!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Tere says, "dunno."
Mayo says, "I would be a witch if I was a transvestite"
Tere says, "I was born to it."
Paramedic says, "Interesting question though"
Bones says, "le Tiggre"
Tere says, "I'm just a poor workingclass witch"
Tigger says, "Hiya Bonesey"
Mayo asks, "really?"
(Tere shows her empty pockets)
(Tigger tosses Bones a cream-filled fishy treat.)
Paramedic asks, "Do you ever think about changing people's perceptions
of witches?"
Bones exclaims, "yum!"
(Bones gobbles)
Tere says, "sure. give it to me and I'll cook it."
Tigger says, "Don't eat it too fast or you will grow fur."
Tere asks, "changing their perceptions?"
Bones says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "yeah"
Tigger says, "At least that's what happened to me."
Paramedic says, "mounting a public relations campaign"
Paramedic says, "convince people that witches are ok"
Tere says, "people like something to hate."
Tere says, "I guess we give them that."
Tere has 34 good and 4 bad karma.
Tere is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
the Sisters of Benevolence.
She is holding a moonstone.
(She is a Harpy. She loves children.)
Tere says, "it makes them feel... holy or something"
Paramedic says, "I see"
Paramedic says, "So you are resigned to your fate"
Tere says, "we were here before exiles came"
Tere says, "we will be here after they leave."
Paramedic says, "I see,"
Paramedic says, "very interesting."
(Tere rocks a lil)
Paramedic asks, "4) Do you have any advice for exiles?"
Tere says, "oh yes."
Tere says, "lesseee.."
Tere says, "Keep Prue Green..."
Tere says, "Stay on the good side of a Witch"
Paramedic asks, "Is Prue technically a witch?"
Tere says, "well... she's a crone."
Tere says, "Witch is a broader term..."
Tere says, "applies to all of the Sisters of Benevolence"
(Tere exudes benevolence)
J'nder ponders, "zzzzzzzzz.."
Paramedic asks, "5) What do you think of lilit and the undine?"
(Tere shrugs)
Tere says, "I don't consider her much..."
Paramedic asks, "She's not a rival to witches?"
Tere says, "she seems to fancy herself to have some power or
something."
Tere says, "not really."
Johan says, "what about Tenebrion"
Paramedic asks, "Yes, what is the witchy position on Tenebrion?"
Tere says, "I don't speak for all witches."
(Paramedic nods)
Tere says, "I only speak for Tere."
Paramedic asks, "What do you know of Tenebrion then?"
Tere says, "not much. just what folks babble about in town."
Johan exclaims, "he is evil!"
Tere says, "personally, I think they should charge him a lot more for
purg pendants"
Tere says, "and of course..."
Paramedic says, "Yeah that seemed like a fire sale price to me too"
Tere says, "it would be better to give them to witches."
Paramedic says, "Well, in keeping with a long tradition, at the end of
the interview, you are now allowed to"
Paramedic says, "ask the Thoom ONE (1) question"
Tere asks, "What do Thooms taste like?"
Paramedic says, "I haven't tried one."
Paramedic says, "but I expect we're a tad salty"
Mayo says, "Thoom taste like calimari"
Tere says, "you look kinda tuff"
(Johan chews on Paramedic)
(Tere pinches Paramedic)
Paramedic exclaims, "Gah!"
Tere says, "yeah..."
Johan says, "owie my teef"
Johan says, "owwwwww the pain"
Johan says, "toof ache"
Paramedic says, "Poor Johan bit into my notebook"
Paramedic says, "Anyway, thank you for taking the time for the
interview"
Johan says, "your solid silver notebook"
Tere says, "hope he didn't bite out any of my pearls of wisdome"
(Tere cackles)
Johan says, "nah"
Johan says, "BLAGG"
Paramedic says, "I may need to make him an appointment with Merlisk the
dentist"
Tere asks, "got any coins for me?"
(Tere shows her empty pockets)
You hand Tere 5 coins. You have 32 remaining.
Paramedic says, "another interview in the can"
Tere says, "Para"
Tere asks, "will you edit this in?"
Paramedic says, "sure"
Tere says, "what you give to a Witch, comes back to you 1000-fold"
Devil ponders, "except coins"
Tere asks, "got it?"
Bones yells, "Thoom"
Paramedic says, "got it"
Tere says, "now to return to my hut and do some cooking"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "ok"
Paramedic says, "and on that cryptic note, Tere left."
Devil says, "bye bye Tere"
Tere is no longer Clanning.

#####
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brought to you by Worg the Zo

#####
INSIDE THE DENTIST'S CHAIR
MERLISK THE THOOM: DENTIST AT WORK

Fishwrap is proud to present this transcript of town dentist Merlisk on
his rounds.

Johan says, "Merlisk"
Johan asks, "are you a dentist?"
Merlisk says, "aye"
Mayo says, "hehe"
Johan says, "cuz my teef broke"
Merlisk says, "uh oh"
Merlisk asks, "You covered by ThoomCare™?"
(Johan shows his chipped teef)
Johan says, "Paramedic can I get a dentist appointment"
Paramedic says, "He accidentally bit my notebook"
Merlisk says, "oh"
Johan says, "OWIE THAT HURT"
Merlisk asks, "The first Fishwrap injury?"
Merlisk says, "Worse than a paper cut"
Merlisk says, "Open wide, Johan"
(Merlisk looks)
Paramedic says, "Indeed this is the first Fishwrap related injury"
(Johan opens his mouth)
Merlisk says, "yep...chipped thooth"
Merlisk asks, "want a cap?"
(Merlisk pokes the chipped thooth with his pick)
Johan says, "GIAG NIHt heonly"
Johan says, "OWWW"
Merlisk asks, "dat hurt?"
(Paramedic records this for Fishwrap)
Johan says, "OWWW"
Merlisk ponders, "yep...that's the right one"
Merlisk says, "good....I'd hate to cap the wrong one"
Merlisk says, "okay...keep yer mouth wide open"
(Johan keeps mouth open)
(Rael the Squonk wonders, am I hot or not?)
(Merlisk dabs some pain numbin' ointment (from Apocthecary) by the
chipped thooth)
Mayo says, "hey Rael"
Johan yells, "OWWwwWWWW!"
(Paramedic): NOW IN FISHWRAP: LIVE SURGICAL PROCEDURES
(Rael the Squonk snickers.)
Merlisk shows his arachnoid teeth to everyone.
Johan exclaims, "OWIE!"
Paramedic says, "This is the first time we've had live coverage of
something like this"
Merlisk says, "Okay...I'm gonna cap it with a Noid thooth"
Rael the Squonk says, "Ow."
Merlisk exclaims, "Hold still!"
(Paramedic takes notes frantically)
Rael the Squonk asks, "What is going on here?"
Johan says, "teef ache"
(Merlisk takes the Noid thooth and files it to match the chipped area)
Rael the Squonk says, "Bad Zo hygiene."
Johan says, "nope"
Johan says, "a bad notebook"
(Paramedic): It seems that Merlisk has an entire flipper in Johan's
mouth.
(Merlisk starts to clean Johan's mouth near the thooth)
Paramedic says, "he bit my notebook"
Merlisk exclaims, "hold still, I say!"
Rael the Squonk asks, "Isn't it made of pure neutronium?"
Paramedic says, "it's in a silver case"
(Merlisk puts glue on the new Noid thooth and firmly places it on
Johan's chipped thooth)
Rael the Squonk says, "oh"
Merlisk says, "Now...let this dry"
Johan says, "ahhhh that feels better"
Merlisk says, "Don't drink anythin'"
Paramedic says, "Impressive"
Johan says, "ota"
Merlisk says, "for at least 2 hours"
Bones asks, "Paramedic, care to assist me with the next surgery?"
Paramedic asks, "What's the next one?"
Johan says, "GAHGAAsj"
(Merlisk has another successful dentist customer)
Bones says, "we are going to neuter this artak"
Shamhat says, "i'll anesthetize it"
Paramedic says, "umm..."
Merlisk says, "Hmm..."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Devil says, "heh"
Mayo asks, "need a brick?"
Merlisk asks, "how are we gonna keep it still?"
Paramedic says, "It looks mad"
Shamhat says, "we could use these berries"
Bones says, "do not killthe patient, plase."
Rael the Squonk says, "I don't think it wants to be neutered."
Bones says, "do not kill the patient, please."
Mayo says, "lemme brick"
Paramedic says, "I think it's angry"
Shamhat asks, "is it male or female?"
(Merlisk looks)
Paramedic says, "It's enraged"
Rael the Squonk says, "Now you've done it."
CmdrGuard says, "Move along people"
(Shamhat administers the berries to anesthetize the cougar)
Merlisk says, "female"
mdrGuard asks, "What are you people doing?"
Shamhat says, "ok, it seems under to me"
Shamhat says, "we are practicing"
CmdrGuard says, "IT IS RABID"
Shamhat says, "surgery"
CmdrGuard says, "KILL IT KILL IT"
Merlisk says, "it doesn't look too sedated"
Paramedic says, "I would not call that sedate"
(Shamhat elbows Merlisk)
Merlisk says, "try again"
Shamhat says, "let me clean the area"
Merlisk says, "okie"
Paramedic says, "I recommend a #4 scalpel"
Merlisk asks, "Shamhat, will you be the first patient after this one?"
(Shamhat splashes whiskey on the undeside of the cougar)
Merlisk asks, "#4?"
Paramedic asks, "We're going to neuter Shamhat next?"
Merlisk says, "hmm..."
Shamhat says, "we are going to "fix" shadowpuss's litter"
Mayo exclaims, "your getting it mad!"
Shamhat says, "quick Merlisk"
Merlisk exclaims, "hold it still!"
Shamhat says, "before it wakes up"
(Merlisk jumps in and starts cuttin')
Paramedic says, "egad"
Shamhat says, "before SHE wakes up"
Merlisk exclaims, "doh!"
Merlisk exclaims, "It's a male!"
(Paramedic): Blood splashes everywhere
(Merlisk looks embarrassed)
Merlisk says, "okay..."
Undertow E'flei asks, "What's happening here?"
Mayo says, "I have an idea"
(Merlisk snips the...uh...offendin' part)
(Shamhat holds out a little jar for the specimens)
Paramedic asks, "You took off the whole thing?"
(Merlisk): It lives!
Undertow E'flei says, "Poor Artak."
Merlisk says, "just the danglin' things"
Paramedic says, "Oh"
ael the Squonk says, "Thooms neutering felines...typical thoom
arrogance."
Merlisk yells, "Behold the first neutered kitty!"
Tarf says, "Thoompocentricism"
Shamhat says, "Rael, shadowpuss's litter is enough"
Lint asks, "ewww thats what's going on?"
CmdrGuard says, "These thooms feel like they can talk to the animals"
Paramedic says, "I'm a doctor not a veterinarian"
Shamhat asks, "is that it, Merl?"
CmdrGuard says, "you don't say it like that"
Merlisk asks, "now what?"
Merlisk asks, "Is it supposed to keep bleedin' like that?"
Johan says, "wrestle it"
(Mayo wrestles the artak)
(Paramedic hands Merlisk a tourniquet)
(Shamhat puts some pressure on the bleeding area)
Merlisk says, "thank you"
(Merlisk applies the tourniquet)
Shamhat says, "looks fine to me"
(Paramedic hopes no one calls the Puddleby Humane Society)
Rael the Squonk says, "This is nitwittery."
Merlisk says, "Hmm..."
Shamhat exclaims, "the humane society is paying for this!"
Paramedic says, "Oh"
Merlisk ponders, "I think"
(Paramedic REALLY hopes no one calls the Puddleby Humane Society then)
(CmdrGuard calls the Puddleby Humane Society)
Johan says, "you guys!!"
CmdrGuard yells, "Puddleby Humane Society"
Mayo asks, "why don't we just kick it in the nads?"
Merlisk exclaims, "Hey, I did my best! Dangit! I'm a dentist!"
Shamhat says, "he's wiggling a bit"
Shamhat says, "Mayo, it no longer has any"
Merlisk says, "It's just agitated"
Merlisk yells, "The artak lived! Get Shadowpuss for the some real
spayin'!"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Announcing...

The new CheaCrets Items Catalogue

<http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/items/>

Find out about all the different items available to exiles!

Read it today!

Brought to you by Mac-arena

#####
FISHWRAP MAGAZINE TOP 10

Top 10 Indications You Are Probably A Thoom

10. When exiles walk up to you in town and say "Thoom," you know
exactly what they mean
9. You find nothing odd about assembling in formation with your friends
in town square
8. You think "hunting" means "standing behind a fighter and pushing
your moonstone into his or her back" (Oops, that's for Thoom healers
only)
7. You had fish for breakfast
6. Your name is Bones
5. You smell like the sea
4. You've suffered from throatsac inflammation in the past
3. You have no use for pants
2. Your peripheral vision is excellent
1. You feel an irresistable urge to conga

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Fallen?  In pain?  Need a ride on a chain?

Contact Deadmeat's Chaining Services.

Currently serving all of Puddleby and Fire Islands.  Ask for the South
Forest Special!

Deadmeat is a registered Catenae member, and a ThoomCare™ affiliated
chainer.

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER

This issue, Charlos conducts an investigative probe into Puddleby's
favorite exiles.

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Slyph laughs)
Shadowmist says, "I'm quite frightened, actually"
(Shadowmist shudders)
Shadowmist ponders, "Do I get any fish for this?"
  Charlos says, "I'm here with Shadowmist"
Charlos asks, "Shadowmist, who's your favorite healer?"
Shadowmist exclaims, "umm... certainly Crippler!"
Shadowmist says, "fine Thoom he is"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Shadowmist says, "hrmm... Ugh is an exceptional Zo"
Shadowmist asks, "ever seen Zo acrobatics before?"
Shadowmist exclaims, "Ugh is amazing!"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Shadowmist asks, "mysfit, eh?"
Shadowmist says, "hrmm... that's a hard one"
Shadowmist says, "they're all so...."
Shadowmist says, "....lovable"
Shadowmist says, "if I pick Aki everyone will get angry, of course"
  Shadowmist says, "Sutai has some likable traits for certain"
Shadowmist says, "constant entertainment, that one"
Shadowmist asks, "do I have to pick one?"
Shadowmist says, "well, Sutai does seem to find the most interesting
places to fall"
Shadowmist says, "so I'll give him the award"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
---
Charlos says, "I'm here with WormTounge"
Charlos asks, "WormTounge , who's your favorite healer?"
WormTounge says, "I'm a healer.."
Charlos asks, "so... you?"
WormTounge says, "Guess so"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
WormTounge exclaims, "Charlos, of course!"
Charlos says, "8-)"
WormTounge ponders, "This is a bit rigged.."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.."
WormTounge exclaims, "Aki!"
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Pengy GM says, "Sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with PengyGM"
Charlos asks, "PengyGM , who's your favorite healer?"
Pengy GM says, "I love them all."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Pengy GM says, "Any newbie who can still fallin the
hive."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Pengy GM says, "They all suck."
---
Odesseus says, "heh"
Odesseus exclaims, "sure!"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Odesseus"
Charlos asks, "Odesseus, who's your favorite healer?"
Odesseus says, "er toughie"
(Odesseus thinks hard)
Slyph ponders, "!"
(Kryll looms over Odesseus)
(Raiine winks)
DarqMax says, "Hehehe"
Odesseus ponders, "favorite healer... hmmmm...."
(Slyph shows some cleavage)
Kryll asks, "Raiine, right?"
DarqMax exclaims, "you can do it Ode!"
(Raiine wiggles her hips)
(Charlos drops his quill)
Odesseus says, "uhhhh...."
(Slyph shows some leg too)
(DarqMax laughs)
(Slyph scowls at raiine)
Ba'alzamon exclaims, "Bail out man!"
(DarqMax whistles!)
Odesseus says, "well, it would have to be Heccacia"
(Slyph grins)
(Raiine flicks her long blonde hair softly)
Charlos says "and your favorite fighter?"
Odesseus says, "oooo... nuther toughie... hmmm...."
DarqMax exclaims, "You can do it Ode!"
(Odesseus thinks hard)
Odesseus exclaims, "Uhhh.... Wyntir!"
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Slyph laughs)
Charlos asks, "brudda Luc?"
(Lucero grins.)
Lucero says, "damn this is a horrible day for me"
Charlos thinks, "need healer outside Rocky Cavern, east of Npass, for
Lucero is too fallen, he's "little" for Slyph"
Charlos asks, "mind answerin a couple questions brudda?"
Lucero has been fallen for some time because of a Grey Wyrm.
Slyph says, "hehe"
Charlos asks, "for the mag?"
Lucero says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Lucero"
Charlos asks, "Lucero, who's your favorite healer?"
Lucero says, "Sylph and the next healer to walk up..."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
(Slyph laughs)
Lucero says, "Hrm, that's a tough one."
Lucero says, "Let me see."
Lucero says, "I better say Natas or he'll kill me."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
(Slyph smiles warmly)
Slyph says, "that was my answer too"
Lucero says, "I don't believe in Mystics."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Slyph grins)
You gave good karma to Lucero, 8-)
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Solas"
Charlos asks, "Solas, who's your favorite healer?"
Solas says, "hmm... that's a hard question"
Solas says, "there are too many good ones to pick from, but I think I
look up to thuja the most"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Solas says, "you of course ;p"
Charlos says, "8-)"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Solas says, "hmm... Malkor has helped me out the most while here"
---
Charlos asks, "Crunch, who's your favorite healer?"
Crunch says, "I suppose that's a very tough question... I guess I'd
have to go with my clanmate, Spirit."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Crunch asks, "Does Darkus count?"
Charlos says, "sure, I guess, you can say whatever you want"
Crunch exclaims, "Darkus, then!"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Crunch says, "Hmm, since mystics suck, I'd go with the most amusing:
Sutai."
Prue says, "Prue don't do no Fishwrap interview 'less Paramedic is
here"
---
Marfisa exclaims, "Hi readers!"
(Marfisa waves.)
Marfisa says, "Well let's see."
Marfisa asks, "Should I choose on the basis of personality or skill?"
Charlos says, "heh"
Charlos asks, "Marfisa , who's your favorite healer?"
Marfisa asks, "I can only pick one?"
Charlos says, "ok, wait a sec"
Charlos says, "mull it over"
Charlos says, "beer right back"
(Charlos passes out in a drunken stupor)
(Marfisa considers throttling Charlos)
Charlos ponders, "Zzzzzz"
Yazza thinks to you, "naughty - putting her on the spot like that"
(Marfisa ties a cord around Charlos's neck)
(Dierdre drifts closer to hear the answer)
Marfisa ponders, "Hmmm"
Marfisa ponders, "Herm"
Charlos says, "ok"
Charlos says, "2 or 3 at most"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Charlos says, "spit it out"
Marfisa asks, "2 or 3?"
Charlos asks, "Marfisa , who's your favorite healer?"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Marfisa says, "Well, I would have to say Manx"
Marfisa says, "I like many healers, but a fellow fen would of course
win out"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Natas ponders, "Natas!"
Marfisa says, "Fighter hmm"
Charlos says, "that's great..."
Marfisa asks, "Besides me?"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Charlos says, "you can choose yourself"
Marfisa says, "I'm pretty wonderful."
Charlos ponders, "if you must"
Natas says, "heh"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Charlos says, "speak your heart"
Charlos says, "quickly or the readers won't believe you"
Marfisa says, "But everyone knows I'm my favorite fighter"
Charlos says, "great"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Marfisa says, "Hmm Mysfit"
Natas says, "thats it Marf heckle the reporter"
Marfisa ponders, "Charlos sure as hell is no longer my favorite
fighter""
Marfisa says, "Raldin is my favorite mysfit"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Marfisa laughs.)
Dierdre says, "Not the same questions I hope"
(Dierdre smiles)
Charlos says, "yeap"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Dierdre"
Dierdre says, "Kei."
Charlos asks, "Dierdre, who's your favorite healer?"
Dierdre says, "Me"
Dierdre says, "and Yazza"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Dierdre says, "Koriel"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Dierdre says, "Not sure"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Yazza says, "sure why not"
Charlos asks, "Yazza , who's your favorite healer?"
Yazza asks, "hmmm... only one?"
Charlos says, "or 2 or 3"
Yazza says, "Dierdre, Dandelion, Travs"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Marfisa says, "Actually my favorite fighter is Pony but she not around
:("
Yazza says, "Kor'gah, Beam and Thwack"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Yazza says, "hmmm"
Yazza says, "not sure"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Beam says, "sure..."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Beam"
Charlos asks, "Beam , who's your favorite healer?"
Beam says, "Yazza, cause she never lets me down"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Beam says, "Thwack, most generous guy i know"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Beam says, "Raldin, he always makes me laugh"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos ponders, "I won't win any journalistic awards for politeness"
Dierdre says, "Add Althea for favourite fighter too"
Marfisa says, "I'll change my answers now."
Yazza thinks to you, "you are one of my favorite exiles tho =-)"
Marfisa says, "Don't bother interviewing me if you don't print my
bull."

#####
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Paramedic says in Thoom, "blorf"
Paramedic says in Thoom, "ueerfp."
Tish says, "Paramedic is on the planet, and is of indeterminate
health."
(J'nder nudges Bones)
Bones says, "oh no"
Paramedic says in Thoom, "fwwwaft."
(Bones hands Para a throatsac lozenge)
(Bones hands Para his tea.)
(J'nder smiles.)
(Paramedic gobbles it)
Bones says, "have some tea"
J'nder ponders, "should I make a ThoomCare™ blend?"
(Paramedic coughs)
Paramedic says, "had a fish caught in my throatsac lengthwise"
Bones says, "ack"
Paramedic says, "I should not swallow them whole"
Bones says, "just the little ones"

ThoomCare™ reminds exiles to chew their food thoroughly

Brought to you by ThoomCare™
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
ELECTION RESULTS

#149: Should Elenis Reyav be banished from this isle for being an RQ
Spy?
7 (9%): Yes! get rid of those Pesky RQ spys! let us live at peace!
7 (9%): No! I Babajaga must have his handsome legs for myself! you must
not send him away please!
37 (45%): No, he does not deserve to be banished, and he is NOT an RQ
spy, so leave him alone
6 (7%): He is an RQ spy! get rid of him!!
10 (12%): None of the above
15 (18%): Abstain
#150: Whats your personal opion of Zephyrus?
2 (3%): I love him, he's the great friend I've ever had and if he ever
left I'd kill myself!
2 (3%): I hate him, way back when he was only 2 days old he bit people
and I can't handle changing so I still hate him!
21 (28%): This question is really stupid and I honestly don't give a
damn about Zephyrus and I'm probably just going to abstain!
22 (30%): I don't have an opinion but I like voting!
8 (11%): None of the above
19 (26%): Abstain

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
BY TYKING II

Last time, I brought an opinion. This time, I bring a grave warning.
Many of us have been informed of the crystal shards that have been
found at the keep. We exiles have not yet found out exactly what they
do, but Tenebrion has asked us to stay away from them. Many of us think
he says that because he doesn't like us taking things, and he's just
being a jerk.

Oh, how they are wrong! Tenebrion has been advising us against stealing
the crystals for the benefit of Puddleby! The crystal fragments are
VERY dangerous. They have awesome destructive power, enough to wipe out
all of Puddleby, and more! We need to keep these crystals AWAY from our
town. If you find a crystal, be sure to give it back to Tenebrion. Only
he can contain the destructive power it contains. If you keep it,
fairly warned are you, and anything bad that happens, is your own
fault.

TYKING II

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tuan,
Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover spriggin
slices with it in the afternoon"
Issue #24: Ghoti, Umbrion, Ziff Rengar
[December 3, 2000]
Circulation: 115

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Speedier: <http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/4844/>
* Worg the Zo: <http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/>
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Exiles meet with Tenebrion again
    - Negotiations continue
    - A crystal was returned to Tenebrion
    - Tenebrion has shattered 3 pendants while examining them
* Exile massacre in cave on Dal'Noth, many forced to depart

brought to you by Norm:
* Rumors fly of a new pathfinding trainer
* Sleipnir organizing search of the Greymyr Village for new paths
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

brought to you by Babajaga:
* Koric is missing
* Talking skeletons on Dal'Noth
* Algernon rescued from Dal'Noth
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
    <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.  Advertising rates are quite affordable.
Your ad will be read by well over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH GHOTI THE MYSTIC

Ghoti exclaims, "Me?! Sure!"
Paramedic says, "Excellent"
(Ghoti giggles)
Paramedic says, "There are five questions to this interview."
Ghoti says, "okie"
Ghoti says, "5 is a lucky number"
Paramedic asks, "1) Can you tell our readers a little about your clan?"
Ghoti says, "Rua'n Famkul? We're a group of mysfits banded together for
mutual survival."
Ghoti says, "That means we go out and fall together ; )"
Paramedic asks, "All mystics?"
Ghoti says, "Nah, not all... just the lucky ones : )"
(Drax waves)
(Ghoti waves to Drax : ))
Paramedic asks, "around how many members?"
(Ghoti counts on her fingers silently.)
Drax says, "pardon me..."
Ghoti says, "about 20 something..."
Paramedic asks, "wow, a large clan?"
Paramedic says, "Hi Drax"
(Ghoti smiles at Drax, "Aye?")
Drax says, "I hope I'm not interrupting, but had a question..."
Paramedic says, "sure"
Ghoti says, "g'head : )"
Drax asks, "has the Sunstone salesman relocated?"
Ghoti says, "nope, he comes and goes."
Paramedic says, "no, he's just not in right now"
Drax says, "ah..."
Ghoti says, "here, or in south farms"
Drax asks, "where in south farms does he work?"
Ghoti says, "usually in the southeast corner"
Paramedic says, "south end, he just pops up"
Drax says, "ah..."
Drax says, "thank you, kindly :)"
Paramedic says, "anytime"
Ghoti says, "you bet : )"
(Drax smiles and waves)
Merrill thinks, "field hospital is open by your guest-thoom merrill :)"
(Ghoti smiles at Paramedic....)
Paramedic asks, "So it's a pretty large clan?"
Ghoti says, "Aye, we're kinda large."
Paramedic asks, "do you have clan meetings or functions?"
Ghoti says, "We have meetings whenever we get a couple or five members
together...."
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "and we have an unregistered pushball team called 'What
Conspiracy?'"
(Ghoti shows her tattoo)
Ghoti says, ": )"
Ghoti is a Human, is female, is a Journeyman Mystic, and is wearing the
symbol of The Rua'n Famkul.
She is holding a skristal and a log of wood.
(What Conspiracy?)
Ghoti has 72 good karma.
Paramedic asks, "So, um, what conspiracy?"
Ghoti says, "Yep, that's the name of the team : )"
Ghoti says, "our rally cry..."
Ghoti exclaims, "not in the head not in the head!"
Ghoti says, "We're still trying to figure out how to play... so we
haven't registered in the league yet."
Paramedic asks, "Is there a conspiracy?"
Ghoti says, "If I told you if there was a conspiracy, I'd have to kill
you : )"
(Paramedic nods)
[Lillia returns from some mystic task]
(Lillia sniffles.)
Lillia says, "I must've got 15+ right."
(Ghoti smiles at Lillia)
Paramedic asks, "Lillia, you ok?"
(Lillia doesn't think anything's there.)
Ghoti says, "it's a pain, that's for sure."
Paramedic asks, "So what do you see in the future for your clan,
Ghoti?"
(Lillia has another idea.)
Ghoti says, "Well Raldin is training to tune sunstones, so soon we'll
have that service to offer."
Paramedic exclaims, "Excellent!"
(Ghoti nodnods!)
Paramedic asks, "Does your clan have a scroll?"
Ghoti says, "Aye..."
(Ghoti tries to remember)
(Lillia thinks.)
Lillia ponders, "Puzzle there I think."
Ghoti says, "http://www.exthree.com/ral/index.html"
Paramedic says, "ok, one last followup..."
Paramedic asks, "does your clan have leaders or a council?"
Ghoti says, "Yes, Raldin is our clanlord, and we've got a Founders'
Council."
Ghoti ponders, "22 members ; )"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Any problems within the clan?"
Paramedic asks, "everyone get along well?"
(Lillia sighs.)
Ghoti says, "What clan doesn't have problems? Nothing we can't survive
and grow from."
Paramedic asks, "Have members left the clan?"
Ghoti says, "Aye... hmmm.... 3 within the last year or so."
Paramedic says, "it seems many clans have had some internal problems
lately, that's why I ask"
(Ghoti nods, "I heard about Rising Claw's problems.)
Paramedic says, "others also...."
Paramedic says, "ok on to other matters"
(Lillia finds a seat.)
Ghoti says, "I've read some of this Chil'tak's writings and find them
interesting."
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Paramedic asks, "what did you find interesting?"
Ghoti says, "Well, just seems he laid out a good system of morals/
actions and such."
Paramedic says, "Many have found those appealing"
(Lillia goes to talk to Trainquilus... he knows something.)
Paramedic asks, "OK 2) How do you like being a mystic?"
Ghoti says, "Being a mystic sucks. : )"
Ghoti says, "no really."
Lillia ponders, "3) How do you become a mystic? ; )"
Paramedic asks, "really?"
Paramedic asks, "that bad, huh?"
Ghoti says, "The quest to become a mystic is HARD."
(Paramedic listens)
Lillia ponders, "VERY HARD!"
Lillia ponders, "MA'TA GIVES THE WORST HINTS!"
(Lillia hums.)
Paramedic asks, "so what are some good and bad things about being a
mystic?"
Ghoti says, "I almost strode off the path several times... if not for
my clanmates and friends like Neige ( Hi Neige!) I would be a fighter"
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Ghoti says, "Aye"
Paramedic asks, "it can be frustrating?"
Ghoti says, "And aye, there's both good and bad, but I want to 'know',
so...."
Paramedic asks, "what are some good things about being a mystic?"
Ghoti says, "helping people by locating them, 20 questions is not a
blast, but works...."
Lillia ponders, "Whiffing things to death with wooden sticks?"
Ghoti says, "all the spiffy puzzles, though they can be a serious pain
sometimes too..."
Ghoti says, "I dunno, I just like to figure things out..."
Lillia ponders, "That bitch in there never gives a reward."
(Lillia points to the tree.)
(Ghoti grins at Lillia)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think mystics are becoming more powerful
slowly?"
Ghoti says, "very very slowly... but we'll never be as powerful as
fighters"
Lillia ponders, "Unless they all reset somehow."
(Lillia hums.)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
Lillia ponders, "When we hone our teleportation...."
(Lillia grins a wicked grin.)
(Lillia hums.)
(Ghoti giggles)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think that someday mystics will have powers we
have not seen yet?"
Lillia asks, "Me?"
Lillia says, "I do."
Ghoti says, "Oh! I'm sure of it! There's a lot more to this world then
we know yet."
Paramedic says, "either of you can answer"
Lillia says, "Definitely new boosts..."
(Lillia is certain horus will be here soon enough.)
Lillia says, "Who knows..."
Lillia says, "Maybe attack magic."
aramedic says, "wow"
Lillia ponders, "Shamen fireballs and the like."
Paramedic says, "that would be interesting"
Ghoti says, "heh"
Ghoti says, "Unlikely."
Lillia ponders, "Very...."
Ghoti says, "That sounds like Earth magic to me... we are tuned to the
Sun...."
Paramedic asks, "ok 3) what are your favorite places to hunt?"
Ghoti says, "Fire Island, currently."
(Lillia shudders.)
Ghoti says, "New North Forest...."
Lillia ponders, "Ebon scorpion hitted me last night there."
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "I like to hang out in the safe cave in the herpetid nest
too."
Ghoti says, "not hunting per se..."
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of those poisonous reptiles??"
Ghoti says, "They're trippy. I'll neither confirm nor deny that I've
licked my share. : }"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Ghoti says, "just seems like a nice dangerous area to hang out : )"
Ghoti shows her herpetid egg to everyone.
Paramedic says, "wow, nice egg"
Ghoti says, ": )"
Ghoti says, "I'm waiting for it to hatch ; )"
Paramedic says, "you should fry it up"
Lillia exclaims, "!"
Ghoti asks, "can you imagine the omlette?"
Paramedic says, "might be a nice omlette"
Paramedic exclaims, "yum!!"
Lillia ponders, "Poached rocks."
Paramedic asks, "where do you HATE to go hunting?"
Ghoti says, "Bet I'd be stoned for a week : )"
Ghoti says, "Orga camp"
(Lillia goes to GMV to get stoned.)
Paramedic asks, "don't like all those orgas?"
Ghoti says, "too much lightning flying arond there"
Lillia ponders, "Trippy giants...."
Ghoti says, "I don't like the badlands either"
Paramedic asks, "don't like all those orgas?"
Ghoti says, "Don't care for orga, no."
Paramedic asks, "why not the badlands?"
Ghoti says, "Badlands are dangerous what with the lawless ones out
there..."
Paramedic asks, "have you ran into evil exiles there?"
Ghoti says, "Aye.. I can't remember his name... an evil Fen..."
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Paramedic says, "sounds bad"
(Ghoti nodnods)
Paramedic asks, "4) what monster do you hate the most?"
Ghoti says, "Hmmm..."
(Ghoti thinks a moment)
(Lillia curses under hder breath.)
Paramedic asks, "how about you Lillia?"
Ghoti says, "Orga, the bigger the smellier"
(Lillia glares at the tree.)
Lillia asks, "What?"
Paramedic asks, "4) what monster do you hate the most?"
Lillia asks, "Me?"
(Lillia thinks.)
(Lillia wants to say vermine but would look stupid.)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
[A hunting party passes through the meadow.]
(Trystran D'Ark grins)
(Lillia thinks.)
Aldernon yells, "So long...and thanks for all the Fish!!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!""
(Ghoti waves at the Claws.)
Lillia asks, "Voolcan are cute?"
Lillia says, "No wait...."
Ghoti exclaims, "Voolkons are very cute!"
(Paramedic smiles)
Lillia says, "I like them."
(Lillia thinks more.)
Ghoti exclaims, "firewalkers!"
Lillia says, "I dislike Anarchy."
Paramedic asks, "firewalkers are bad, huh?"
Lillia says, "That is the biggest monster of all."
Lillia ponders, "Ha!"
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Ghoti says, "Aye! You should have seen what they did to our FI hunt
yersterday. Sad indeed."
Lillia says, "I fell the first 5.5 times."
Lillia ponders, "And passed out four times."
Paramedic asks, "How about Noids?"
Ghoti says, "Never hunted them."
Ghoti says, "In fact, I think I've been in their cave once."
(Lillia can solo kegs.)
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
Paramedic asks, "5) do you think Puddleby needs a government?"
Ghoti exclaims, "Aye!"
Lillia ponders, "Yes."
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Paramedic asks, "why?"
Ghoti says, "We can survive, but not grow without a government."
(Lillia forgets she's not Ghoti.)
Paramedic says, "You can answer too Lillia"
Ghoti says, "I mean, look at the mess with Tenebrion..."
(Paramedic listens)
Lillia ponders, "Teney is a really nice guy."
Lillia ponders, "You just got to know him like I do...."
Ghoti says, "if we had a government, we could maybe bargain with him,
set treaties and such, as it stands..."
Ghoti says, "we don't have that ability... we can only act as
individuals"
Paramedic asks, "Have you met Tenebrion, Lillia?"
Lillia says, "Not in person... hehe."
(Paramedic nods)
(Lillia nods at Ghoti.)
Paramedic asks, "What did you think of Tarf's killing of Tenebrion's
guard?"
Lillia says, "No comment."
(Lillia is too tired to curse.)
Ghoti says, "Sad, really. I like Tarf, but he took unwarranted action."
Paramedic asks, "has it changed the way you think of Tarf?"
Ghoti says, "hmmm"
Ghoti says, "Not really, cuz I still like him. But it makes me wonder
what else might happen in the future... not just with him, but with
others..."
Ghoti says, "if the DA could do that..."
Paramedic says, "I see..."
Ghoti asks, "what else, you know?"
Paramedic asks, "so now you have questions about exiles that you did
not have before?"
Ghoti says, "Exiles in general. We need a government to help regulate
our populace"
Paramedic asks, "what was that Lillia?"
Lillia says, "Isn't the DA the only authority round here?"
Ghoti says, "Aye, and he acted outside the will of the people"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic asks, "any other thoughts on current affairs?"
Ghoti says, "If we had voted and the people said 'no peace with
Tenebrion' well, then he would have had the authority"
Ghoti ponders, "http://www.egroups.com/group/
Clan_Lord_Puddleby_Government"
Ghoti says, "join now."
Ghoti says, ": )"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes"
(Lillia likes the new sylvan poses....)
(Paramedic smiles)
Lillia ponders, "Especially /pose hairtoss."
Ghoti exclaims, "we'll see if the treaty with Tenebrion holds. I hope
so!"
Ghoti ponders, "heheh"
Paramedic says, "OK, now you are permitted to ask the Thoom one (1)
question."
Ghoti asks, "If you could have anything in the world, but only one
thing... what would it be?"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "good question"
(Paramedic thinks)
Ghoti says, "To phrase it another way 'What do you want?'"
Ghoti ponders, "for the B5 fans out there ; )"
Lillia ponders, "Thoom love...."
(Ghoti is not a Shadow!)
(Lillia predicts.)
Paramedic exclaims, "Our last best hope for peace!"
Lillia ponders, "Deeppp..."
(Ghoti grins at Paramedic)
Paramedic says, "I'd like to see Puddleby establish another town with
another temple"
Paramedic says, "and a new hospital"
Ghoti asks, "Ah! That would be interesting... perhaps the outpost is
that?"
Paramedic says, "or a place for a new hospital"
Lillia asks, "Does the NWF hospital have a sign yet?"
Ghoti asks, "Wher enew hospital you think?"
Paramedic says, "Well, the Outpost seems to be falling behind
schedule."
Paramedic says, "I'd like to see something here, for example, in the
meadow"
Ghoti says, "Ah yes! we raid the OC often enough : )"
Paramedic says, "and I'd like for exiles to be able to explore further
to the east"
(Lillia nods.)
Ghoti says, "I search the passes every once in a great while..."
Paramedic says, "I think we are beginning to get hemmed in"
Ghoti says, "there's GOT to be a way across"
Paramedic says, "and I'd like to see exploration beyond the passes"
Ghoti exclaims, "Aye!"
Ghoti says, "Me too : )"
Paramedic says, "So what I want is expansion for exiles and expansion
for ThoomCare, basically"
Ghoti exclaims, "Sounds like good goals to me!"
Paramedic says, "I'd also like to see some more people volunteer to be
contributors or reporters for Fishwrap"
Paramedic says, "A good magazine needs diverse voices"
Ghoti says, "And it is a good magazine : )"
Paramedic says, "Thank you. But it's too Paramedic-centric"
Ghoti asks, "maybe Koppi could help?"
Ghoti says, "spread the word, I mean"
Paramedic says, "yeah."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview Ghoti!"
Ghoti says, "Thank you! 8)"
You just received good karma from Ghoti, ><>
Ghoti says, "that's..."
Ghoti says, "gh-as in enough, o-as in women, ti-as in intuition"
Ghoti says, "; )"
(Paramedic smiles)
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
You gave good karma to Ghoti, thoom
Ghoti yells, "Thooom!"
Paramedic says, "Thank lillia for me too"
Ghoti says, "I shall : )"

#####
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#####
INTERVIEW WITH UMBRION, TENEBRION'S BROTHER

Fishwrap is proud to present the first interview by Tuan, who happened
to meet up with Umbrion at Tenebrion's Keep.

Exclusive Fishwrap pictures, prepared by Tuan
<http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Umbrion/>

Tuan asks, "Who's you?"
Umbrion says, "My name is Umbrion"
Tuan says, "I's thought I were gonna talk ta..."
(Tuan says very carefully)
Tuan says, "Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "He has acquired a new pendant and is examining it."
Tuan asks, "Is you his spokespersonage?"
Umbrion says, "He asked me to speak to you."
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan says, "Does ya speak fer..."
(Tuan speaks carefully)
Tuan says, "Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "I speak for myself."
Tuan says, "okie doke"
Tuan says, "I's'd like ta great ya, den"
Tuan says, "Onna behalf o da Fishwrap magazine"
Tuan says, "An I assures ya o I's neutrality"
Umbrion asks, "Neutrality?"
Tuan says, "I's no citizen o Puddleby, I's from Lakeanaia"
Umbrion asks, "Another rat hole?"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Tuan says, "no, Lakeania isa grand empire"
Tuan says, "Large large, very rich"
Tuan says, "we far ta da north east o Puddleby"
Umbrion says, "I must consult my atlas then. I am unfamiliar with it."
(Tuan nods wisely (like he's seen Sleipnir do))
Tuan says, "isa big island"
Umbrion asks, "You have a castle?"
Tuan says, "So, okie"
Tuan exclaims, "Umm, 3!"
Tuan says, "I gots a summer castle"
Tuan says, "an a winter castle"
Tuan says, "an a ever'day use castle"
Tuan says, "an I buildin a summer home in purg, too"
Tuan says, "views der is great :)"
Umbrion asks, "In purg?"
Tuan says, "Purgatory, yaar"
Tuan says, "all open space, very quiet an peaceful like"
Tuan says, "But, Tuan gots questions fer ya"
(Tuan takes out a large notebook)
Tuan asks, "Is ya ready?"
(Umbrion makes a small flame dance in the palm of his hand.)
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "Okie, Tuan's first question, How you do dat?"
Tuan asks, "Wit da flame ting?"
Tuan asks, "An da dancin thereof?"
Umbrion says, "With magic of course."
Tuan says, "Oh, silly me"
Tuan says, "'course, 'course"
Tuan ponders, "umm"
Umbrion chants in an ancient language.
Tuan asks, "Okie, er, What relation is ya ta Teenybrain? Err, I mean
Tenebrion?"
Tuan asks, "Is ya his servant?"
Umbrion says, "Be careful."
Tuan asks, "Hum?"
Umbrion says, "I am not a servant."
Umbrion says, "He is one of my brothers."
Umbrion says, "The eldest but not the wisest."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "is ya also a necronomancer person?"
Umbrion says, "Necromancy is a waste of time."
Umbrion says, "A foolish diversion."
Tuan asks, "What kinds o magic does ya study?"
(Umbrion makes the flame in the palm of his hand flare up and
disappear.)
Tuan says, "oh"
Tuan says, "nother silly question, okie"
Umbrion chants in Ancient.
Tuan asks, "Umm, so how many odder brothers does ya got?"
Umbrion asks, "Why are you interested?"
Tuan says, "Is fer Fishwrap"
Tuan says, "Innerviewy thingie"
Umbrion says, "I do not see how my family concerns you."
Tuan says, "Peoples wants ta know, yer fascinatin, much more so den
dat...Tenebrion person"
Umbrion says, "I have five brothers."
Tuan asks, "an ya is da wisest o dem all?"
Umbrion asks, "How is "wisest" measured?"
Tuan says, "Err"
Tuan says, "Well, seems ya let yer brother Tenebrain do alla da work,
an ya
come in at yer leisure. Dat sound purty wise"
Umbrion says, "I am not interested in the affairs of your town."
Tuan says, "Ooo"
Tuan asks, "So yer here jus as a favor ta Teeny, er, Tenebrion?"
Umbrion says, "He wants those trinkets from you."
Umbrion says, "I told him he should go and take them."
Tuan says, "Yaar, prolly be easiest fer him"
(Tuan shrugs)
Umbrion says, "From Puddleby at least. I have not heard him mention
Lakeania."
Tuan says, "umm, Lakeania a water town. We no worry 'bout stuff wit
dead tings an purgatory"
Tuan says, "But um, back ta ya"
Tuan asks, "Is ya a sylvan?"
Umbrion says, "Not any more."
Tuan asks, "What is ya now, kin I ask?"
Umbrion says, "I have no name for what we have become."
Tuan asks, "Whyfor did ya stop bein sylvan? you no like it?"
Umbrion says, "You can call me a sylvan if it makes you comfortable."
Tuan says, "Er, okie"
(Tuan searches through his notebook)
Tuan asks, "Umm, what kinda hobbies does ya gots?"
(Umbrion looks impatient)
Tuan asks, "makin fire an stuff?"
Umbrion says, "And collecting stamps."
Tuan asks, "Have ya seen da Orga shamans throwin der fire at peoples?"
(Umbrion laughs.)
Umbrion exclaims, "That is not throwing fire!"
Tuan asks, "no?"
Tuan asks, "Kin ya show Tuan whatcha mean by dat?"
Tuan has fallen to a fireball.
Tuan exclaims, "eep!"
Tuan says, "er, okay"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Umbrion asks, "Like that?"
Tuan says, "dat were no very pyrotechnic, tho"
Tuan says, "I's mean, suresure, I's feel burnt down ta I's very
toes..."
Umbrion says, "The flames were not on this plane."
Tuan says, "Well, yaar, but it just, ya know, no all dat impressive,
'less yer me an inna lotta pain from it..."
Tuan says, "When Shaman throw fire, it go BOOM"
Tuan says, "Real purty like"
Umbrion says, "The power is lost that way."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "so yer rilly rilly wise, an conserve it like?"
Umbrion says, "I use the power to its fullest."
Tuan says, "I's gotcha"
(Tuan nods)
Tuan asks, "An ya say you no care 'bout Puddleby or Lakeania, right?"
Tuan asks, "you gonna jus keep ta yerself?"
Umbrion says, "I have no interest in either"
Tuan says, "Okie doke"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Tuan asks, "does ya support yer brother's interest?"
Umbrion asks, "His interest?"
Tuan says, "Like, if he say "I'm gonna attack Puddleby an git dat
pendant an
stuff," would ya help him"
Umbrion says, "If I had nothing better to do that day."
Tuan says, "Er"
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan asks, "Yer a healerer?"
Umbrion has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is not
wearing
the symbol of any clan.
He is holding a moonstone.
Umbrion says, "I know some healing arts."
Tuan asks, "Where didja git yer moonystone?"
Umbrion says, "I have owned it for many centuries."
Tuan asks, "Have ya ever bin ta Puddleby or dis island afore?"
Umbrion says, "I have never been to Puddleby."
Umbrion says, "I visit Tenebrion regularly."
(Tuan nods)
Tuan asks, "You know 'bout Purgatory?"
Umbrion says, "No. It sounds like a complete waste of my time."
Tuan says, "Okie doke"
Umbrion says, "Tenebrion tries to bore me with his research of it."
(Tuan nods)
Umbrion says, "He stops when I fireball him."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan says, "dat sound like effective way ta end conversations..."
Tuan asks, "Where does ya git yer snazzy clothes?"
Umbrion asks, "My clothes?"
Tuan exclaims, "yaar!"
Tuan says, "Ya an yer brother gots neato black clothes, Tuan nebber
seen
anythin like em"
Umbrion says, "My tailor makes them for me."
Tuan says, "Ooo"
Umbrion says, "The cloth does not come from this plane."
Tuan asks, "does yer tailor do work for odder peoples too?"
Umbrion says, "If he is so instructed."
Tuan asks, "Umm, anyway Tuan could git a set o dose snazzy clothers?"
Umbrion says, "You have nothing I want."
Tuan says, "Oh"
(Tuan looks crestfallen)
Tuan says, "okie..."
Tuan says, "umm."
Tuan asks, "Anythin ya'd like ta say ta alla da fishwrap readerers out
der?"
Umbrion says, "They will not find me as forgiving and pleasant to those
who cross me as Tenebrion."
Tuan asks, "What does ya consider crossin ya?"
Umbrion says, "Stepping on my shadow, speaking out of turn, trespassing
on my lands."
Tuan says, "Umm"
(Tuan watches where he steps)
Tuan asks, "Where is yer lands?"
Umbrion asks, "Why would I tell you?"
Tuan says, "So I no trespass der"
Umbrion says, "If you see my Keep, leave immediately."
Tuan asks, "How will I's know its yers?"
Umbrion says, "Then perhaps pray you never find it."
Tuan says, "Er, okie"
Tuan asks, "Ya say pray...does ya pray ta anythin?"
Umbrion says, "My religious beliefs are not your business."
Tuan says, "Um, okie, fair 'nuff"
Umbrion asks, "Do you have anything else?"
Tuan says, "So ya say ya no interested ina stuff Tenebrain, er,
Tenebrion is.."
Tuan asks, "What is ya interested in?"
Umbrion says, "Privacy."
Tuan asks, "Dat all?"
Tuan asks, "Ya not got no odder interests?"
Umbrion says, "Tenebrion insists your scholars will be of use to us one
day. I do not believe him."
Tuan says, "Hum"
Tuan says, "If, by some weirdo chance, we was o use ta ya..."
Tuan asks, "would ya also share stuff ya know wit us? Would ya
reciprocated tings?"
(Umbrion looks doubtful)
Umbrion asks, "Can a rat be of use to you? Would you share with it?"
Tuan says, "Err, I's hear dey likes cheese..."
Tuan asks, "squeek?"
Tuan says, "Um"
Umbrion says, "The sun has set. I must leave."
Umbrion says, "I have observations to make."
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan says, "Tuan would like ta tank ya"
Tuan says, "On behalf o Fishwrap"
Tuan says, "an Lakeania"
Tuan exclaims, "Tanks!"
Tuan ponders, "I tink"
(Tuan offers his hand to shake)
(Umbrion looks at Tuan's hand.)
Tuan asks, "Um?"
Umbrion says, "Do not touch me."
Tuan says, "Er, okay. Sorry"
(Tuan withdraws his hand)

#####
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#####
EXILE PROFILE: ZIFF RENGAR
INTERVIEWED BY SENIOR REPORTER CRIPPLER THE THOOM

Thoom!
This month I bring you a interview with the mighty dwarven fighter Ziff
Rengar of the Emperor Mobius's Inquirers clan. I met him while he was
hunting in the rocky cavern. I'm still trying to figure out how he was
able to register his clan.

Crippler asks, "What is it like being in a one man clan?"
Ziff Rengar says, "freedom of course"
Ziff Rengar says, "you have your own rules, own moral code"
Crippler asks, "Is it a bonus getting all of your clan experience back
to yourself?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I don't know about that"
Ziff Rengar says, "some say the exp I get back is the exp I temporarily
lost"
Crippler asks, "If you had to join another clan, which one would it
be?"
Ziff Rengar says, "hmm"
Ziff Rengar says, "I'd go in BoI"
Ziff Rengar says, "brotherhood of independents"
Crippler asks, "any other clans ever ask you to join them?"
Ziff Rengar says, "oh, that's another thing when you are in a one-man
clan"
(Crippler takes note)
Ziff Rengar says, "no one ever asks you to join their clan if you
already are in 1 :D"
Crippler says, "I see"
Crippler says, "that's true"
Ziff Rengar says, "I've spent a long time in BoI"
Crippler says, "Oh"
Crippler says, "I did not know that"
Ziff Rengar is a Dwarf, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the
symbol of the Emperor Mobius's Inquirers.
He is holding an axe.
(He invented the sober dwarven fighting style.)
Ziff Rengar says, "the rat bastards asked me"
Ziff Rengar says, "I was tempted, but I prefered not to"
Crippler asks, "would you ever consider having another exile join your
clan?"
Ziff Rengar says, "of course not, everyone in my clan is 4th circle, it
would ruin it :D"
Crippler says, "heh"
Crippler says, "there recently has been discussion about hunting on
Noth...."
Cronos ponders, "Dal'Noth Isle"
(Cronos shudders.)
Crippler says, "some say that superfighters exclude others from hunting
there"
Crippler asks, "do you feel that this is the case?"
Ziff Rengar says, "hmm"
Ziff Rengar says, "we dont want to have everyone in the hunt"
Ziff Rengar says, "in order to remain a good and fun hunt, we keep a
small group"
Ziff Rengar says, "so we usually pick the best"
Ziff Rengar says, "the ones that have proven their skills, our friends"
Cronos ponders, "I'm not best :)"
Cronos ponders, "He still invites me. ;)"
Crippler says, "what skills do you recomend to be a effective fighter
there."
Ziff Rengar says, "we do not hunt only with superfighters"
Ziff Rengar says, "on dalnoth, as a healer, the built in requirement is
usualy 3rd circle at least"
(Crippler nods)
Ziff Rengar says, "because it usualy means the person has enough
faustus to not be useless and some higgrus to not die"
(Cronos chuckles.)
Cronos ponders, "Me...die..heh heh."
Ziff Rengar says, "but for a fighter, we can invite 2nd circle fighters
if they have 150 atkus"
Crippler says, "aye, I always thought that healers should not try to
tag when on noth"
Crippler says, "too risky"
Ziff Rengar says, "it depends of the situation"
Ziff Rengar says, "wise healers know what to do"
Ziff Rengar says, "dumb ones do stupid things, and are not being
invited again :)"
Ziff Rengar says, "not saying that no one can make a mistake"
Ziff Rengar says, "but those who cant even see they've made a mistake
are usualy not invited"
Crippler asks, "as a 4th circle fighter, what area's still give you
trouble?"
Ziff Rengar says, "on dalnoth you never know"
Ziff Rengar says, "there are 3 dangerous places"
(Crippler listens)
Ziff Rengar says, "the passes and the lake"
Ziff Rengar says, "you never know what will happen there"
Ziff Rengar says, "an army of feralish dalnoths can appear and attack
healers"
Ziff Rengar says, "or you can get trapped by tons of wendecka and have
a vel shooting you"
Crippler asks, "What is your favorite weapon these days?"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "the axe!"
Crippler asks, "trusty axe eh?"
Ziff Rengar says, "since I can hit everything easily there, I don't
need a weapon with less darkus"
Crippler says, "I see"
Ziff Rengar says, "I use it for it's darkus bonus, which isn't my
specialty"
Crippler says, "let's talk about some current events"
Crippler says, "..."
Crippler says, "I remeber that when Tarf killed Tenebrion's guy..."
Ziff Rengar says, "I was there"
Crippler says, "you were quite critical of him..."
Ziff Rengar asks, "was I?"
Ziff Rengar says, "oh"
Crippler says, "Do you still feel the same way"
Ziff Rengar says, "you got me wrong"
Crippler says, "I thought you were"
Ziff Rengar says, "i was being sarcastic"
Crippler says, "I see"
Ziff Rengar says, "actualy I didn't really care about that, but I found
it useless for them to curse Tarf without letting him explain"
Ziff Rengar says, "I am sure many people reconsidered their postion
about tarf's behavior"
Ziff Rengar says, "but before doing so, they Bk bombed him"
Crippler says, "yes"
Ziff Rengar says, "I think karma solves no problems"
Ziff Rengar says, "it's not needed"
Crippler says, "I felt that a riot was about to happen"
Crippler asks, "Do you trust Tenebrion?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I dont trust him more than anyone who isnt a close
friend"
Ziff Rengar says, "he never did anything bad to me"
Ziff Rengar says, "he never helped me"
Ziff Rengar says, "so i cant really comment"
Crippler asks, "do you think that he's being honest with the exiles?"
Crippler says, "in his intentions"
Ziff Rengar says, "I think he has no reason to be honest with us tho,
he doesn't care for us
Crippler says, "last question"
Crippler asks, "what is in the future for you?"
Crippler asks, "any special plans?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I plan to eventualy become independent from
puddleby"
Ziff Rengar says, "that would require the support of some friends of
mine, having a ledger for every trainers"
Crippler asks, "what do you mean by independent?"
Crippler asks, "stop using the town folks?"
Ziff Rengar says, "to eventualy live in another island"
Ziff Rengar says, "yep"
Crippler says, "ahhh"
Ziff Rengar says, "training on our own"
Crippler asks, "why would you want to leave this island?"
Ziff Rengar says, "having our way, not being considered exiles anymore"
Ziff Rengar says, "as long as we live in the emperor's town, we are HIS
exiles"
Crippler says, "yes"
Ziff Rengar says, "and the sentinel is there to prove it"
Crippler asks, "would you want to form a government on this island?"
Ziff Rengar says, "never"
Ziff Rengar says, "no one here should have power over me"
Crippler says, "aye"
Ziff Rengar says, "here on this island"
Crippler says, "I dig that"
Ziff Rengar says, "since we are all exiles"
Crippler says, "if there is something you would like to say"
Ziff Rengar says, "Crippler, if I could give an advice for the whole
community"
Crippler says, "sure"
Crippler says, "go ahead"
Ziff Rengar says, "in the world we live in, I say we must not believe
what people say, we must see things with our own eyes"
Ziff Rengar says, "Crippler, many people can say many things, but
nothing can be proved here"
Ziff Rengar says, "believing what one says can lead you to a wrong
conclusion"
(Crippler takes note)
Ziff Rengar says, "I wont give any personal exemples on the subject"
Crippler says "thank you Ziff and good luck"

#####
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there.

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Exclusive interview with Tere the Witch
"Inside the Dentist's Chair" with Merlisk the Thoom
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tuan,
Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover talking
lizard snacks with it in the afternoon"
Issue #23: Hearts of Tan, Lorikeet's Letter
[December 1, 2000]
Circulation: 114

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Nohn the Fen: <http://drennen.org/cl>
* Mi'seil the Thoom: <http://homepage.mac.com/myselfthethoom/>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Algernon's back
* Outcast impersonators invade Puddleby
* Exiles learn how to follow and conga lines are found throughout town
center
* Exiles learn how to gauge time of day by looking into the sky
* Rumors fly that missing bank money pumped into a slush fund to build
mysterious new northern wall in the Orchard
* Northwest Forest reptiles learn to talk and count
   What caused this horrible freak of nature?
   <http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Talking+herpetid/>
* Paramedic's Feast of Tsarrin pictures now available
   <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

brought to you by Norm:
* Nyssa a full mystic
* More Darshak and T'rool invasions
* Full Moon raid on Orga Camp poorly attended
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
   <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>


#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.  Advertising rates are quite affordable.
Your ad will be read by over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
CLAN CLOSEUP WITH HEARTS OF TAN

Paramedic says, "Ok. I'll ask you 5 questions about your clan"
Yorg says, "ok"
Tas says, "we have our scrolls at: http://tanhearts.org"
Paramedic says, "You can all answer"
(Sabbit waves)
Tas exclaims, "'lo Karkras!"
(Yorg waves)
Karkras exclaims, "Hello!"
Paramedic asks, "1) What are the principles of your clan?"
Tas says, "Para is interviewing us for Fishwrap"
(Karkras waves)
Henryk says, "Karkras, we are being interviewed by Fishwrap"
Karkras asks, "Who's answering?"
Karkras says, "Our principles are:"
Karkras says, "Loyalty, Fellowship, Honor"
Yorg says, "the whole adventure"
(Paramedic nods)
(Tas nods)
Solohawk yells, "hi all"
Medissa says, "Hey Fist"
Henryk says, "to share with and help one another as much as we possible
can : D"
Henryk says, ":D"
Drenn exclaims, "Hi everybody!"
Paramedic asks, "sharing is important?"
Yorg says, "yep"
Fist of Fluff says, "Yes it is"
Henryk says, "to help rather"
Henryk says, "sharing is important"
Henryk says, "yes"
Paramedic asks, "how about hunting?"
Fist of Fluff says, "We help each other as much as possible"
Yorg yells, "HUNTING!"
Tas says, "our creed: The Heart of Tan:"
Tas says, "Forged in the Fires of Compassion"
Tas says, "With the Iron of Fellowship,"
Tas says, "Tempered to Steel by Danger, and"
Tas says, "Enchanted by the Magic of shared discovery:"
Karkras says, ""To explore and rescue at the ragged edge of our
abilities, to have fun, and to develop into a unique and proud clan""
Henryk says, "we are going on a hunt right after this meeting"
(Tas nods)
Yorg says, "yahhooo'"
Solohawk yells, "Hearts of Tan!"
Paramedic exclaims, "ah!"
Paramedic asks, "so exploration too, hmm?"
Fist of Fluff says, "Yes"
Karkras says, "Our Creed:"
Henryk says, "new experiences…"
Yorg says, "it provides the practice"
(Paramedic nods)
Karkras says, "The Heart of Tan is the Sword in our Hands,"
Karkras says, "the Armor on our Back,"
(Yorg whistles a tribute to Tan)
Karkras says, "the Spirit that Links us,"
Fist of Fluff says, ""Tan" represents the Newbie inside us all"
Sabbit ponders, "What a novelist!"
Karkras says, "the Mind that Unites us,"
Karkras exclaims, "and the Virtue that Guides us!"
(Yorg smiles)
(Paramedic takes notes)
Paramedic says, "ok"
Medissa says, ": )"
Fist of Fluff says, "Treat each experience as if it were your first"
Karkras says,
"That's right, Fluff."
Paramedic asks, "2) where do you like to hunt?"
Yorg says, "everywhere"
Tas says, "That's right."
(Paramedic notes that too)
Sabbit says, "south forest a lot"
Yorg says, "savannah"
Paramedic asks, "any favorite hunting grounds?"
Sabbit says, "Always find Kar there"
Tas says, "Orion wood, 'noids…"
Fist of Fluff says, "I personally like hunting Adult Rocks and South
Forest"
Tas says, "we're going to the dark temple next."
Drenn says, "South forest is a favorite of mine."
Henryk says, "mine is kitty beach"
Yorg says, "not yet"
Medissa says, ": )"
(Tas smiles to Athala)
Karkras says, "We all have our favourite places, individually, but as a
Clan, we like to challenge a new territory every month."
Athala says, "=)"
Fist of Fluff says, "That'"
Paramedic exclaims, "So it sounds like you like quite a variety of
hunting grounds!"
Fist of Fluff says, "That's right"
Karkras says, "For instance, today, we are headed to Ash Island."
(Yorg nods in agreement)
(Sabbit likes north forest and spirit wood area… NE of town by lily
pond)
(Medissa sighs)
Sabbit says, "sorry"
Rugur says, "we're explorers and rescuers"
Karkras says, "Personally, it's tough to get me out of Muddy North
Forest."
Henryk raises his ale in a hearty toast.
Paramedic asks, "Do you have any special thoughts on how best to do
group hunting?"
Karkras says, "Oh yes."
Fist of Fluff raises his ale on high, and drains it in one gulp.
Tas says, "Structurely we do have a set of members called "Guiding
Hearts""
Karkras says, "Coordination is key."
Yorg says, "healers stay back"
Karkras says, "We have two special tactics for that."
(Henryk agress with Karkras)
Yorg says, "and heal"
Sabbit ponders, "is this all of us?"
(Paramedic nods)
Tas says, "We successfully used teams"
(Paramedic listens)
Yorg says, "buddy system"
Karkras says, "One is the "alpha buddy" system."
(Paramedic listens)
Yorg says, "I dunno the other"
Tas says, "In the team method, teams of 5 worked well one time."
Karkras says, "Where all members choose the Exile with the name
following theirs, alphabetically."
(Sabbit figits)
Tas says, "with a good balance of healer/fighters"
Fist of Fluff says, "We keep an eye on that person"
(Yorg smiles)
(Paramedic listens)
Karkras says, "That exile is the "alpha buddy"; we keep that exile in
sight at all times."
Karkras says, "That way, we stick together."
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Yorg ponders, "it's good that Para can catch all this!"
Paramedic says, "sounds like a good plan"
Tas ponders, "Thooms have excellent recall"
Sabbit says, "err magic scroll"
Yorg says, "I thought he had four ears"
(Sabbit grins)
Karkras says, "The second tactic is the Regroup/Charge tactic."
(Yorg chuckles)
(Paramedic listens)
Rugur yells, "Incoming!"
(Athala closes her eyes and concentrates really hard on a thought … =)
…)
Yorg says, "halflings utilize the run tactic"
(Athala): Her Sun Stone shimmers in sunlight …
Rugur says, "oops"
(Tas chuckles)
(Sabbit nods)
Karkras says, "Before crossing snells, we all assemble, and do not
cross until "charge" is uttered by the Hunt Leader."
Rugur yells, "ATTACK!"
Drenn ponders, "where did Athala get that sunlight indoors."
Paramedic says, "it's so easy to get disorganized while crossing
snells"
Sabbit says, "Many Tan hearts study with "Runis Fastus""
Rugur says, "er excuse me"
Fist of Fluff says, "That way nobody gets stranded"
(Yorg chuckles)
Tas says, "specially through the marsh"
(Paramedic nods)
Yorg says, "that's a hard one tho"
Tas says, "Karkras, our team tactic worked well in orion wood"
Yorg says, "swamp is confusing"
Karkras says, "That's true Tas…"
Sabbit ponders, "swamp is fun"
Yorg says, "oh yes it is"
Yorg says, "that's my sprint practice ground"
Karkras says, "Breaking into teams when there are many present is a
good idea."
Paramedic asks, "3) I must say this is one of the largest clan
gatherings I have seen. Is this everyone?"
(Sabbit always seems to make it)
Fist of Fluff says, "no"
Tas says, "we must be missing about half the members here…"
Fist of Fluff says, "I think we have 23 members"
Thalion says, "11 of 23"
(Solohawk wittles away at his log of wood)
Tas says, "12"
(Yorg waves)
Karkras says, "We have a membership of about 23"
Henryk says, "12 of 23"
Rugur says, "and we are all friends too"
Thalion says, "12 of 23"
Trena is now Clanning.
Paramedic asks, "Wow. Tan seems to have grown very quickly, hmm?"
(Ethernal waves)
Tas says, "we also have longheart members"
Sabbit ponders, "Tan is very friendly"
(Rugur waves)
Prue is sharing experiences with you.
Yorg says, "we seem to appeal to the new"
Karkras says, "But it is not unusual to assemble 9 -12, even
spontaneously sometimes."
Paramedic asks, "longhearts?"
Paramedic asks, "what are longhearts?"
Yorg says, "honorary members"
Henryk says, "we have 7 long hearts"
Solohawk says, "hey Ethernal there's an open seat next to Fist of
Fluff"
Karkras says, "Longhearts are those who are affiliated with other
clans, who hold a special place in our hearts."
Paramedic says, "Oh I see"
Yorg says, "from other clans"
Henryk says, "currently"
Fist of Fluff says, "Friends of the clan"
(Ethernal likes the ground)
Karkras says, "Those who have helped us, or supported us, or believe in
our ideals."
Paramedic says, "It's good to see a clan expand so quickly and
successfully"
(Yorg nods in agreement)
Medissa says, ": )"
(Henryk smiles)
Paramedic says, "especially when many clans are suffering from internal
problems right now"
(Solohawk smiles)
(Yorg nods in agreement)
Sabbit ponders, "Tan is a big happy family"
Yorg says, "it's hard work"
Tas says, "btw everyone the new enchanted scroll name: http://
tanhearts.org is working."
Rugur ponders, "Tan is soooo cool…"
Fist of Fluff asks, "Sabbit, did you pass second circle today?"
(Sabbit nods)
Sabbit says, "passed it today Fist"
(Sabbit smiles)
Athala says, "that's great. =)"
Thalion exclaims, "congratulations!"
Fist of Fluff yells, "Congratulations Sabbit!"
Sabbit says, "Thank you all"
Paramedic asks, "do you have a governing body or council?"
Tas says, "the guiding hearts"
(Yorg smiles)
Karkras says, "We have "Guiding Hearts""
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic asks, "Does the clan have a good mix of mystics, fighters,
and healers?"
Fist of Fluff says, "We have no Mystics"
Henryk says, "currently"
Karkras says, "We have no mystic at this time."
Tas says, "we did"
Henryk says, ": D"
Karkras says, "we are about 50% healers"
Sabbit ponders, "I believe we have one"
Thalion says, ""we will have one"
Fist of Fluff says, "Good mix of Fighters/Healers"
Tas ponders, "do we?"
Paramedic asks, "would you like to have a mystic? did one leave?"
Fist of Fluff says, "Good mix of Fighters/Healers"
Rugur says, "we love mystics"
(Yorg nods sadly)
Ethernal says, "Neige Left.. having at least one would be nice"
Fist of Fluff says, "Every clan should have a Mystic to sponsor"
Sabbit exclaims, "NEIGE LEFT?!"
Karkras says, "A mystic, or a mystic-minded exile, in my opinion, is
essential to our clan."
Athala says, "I agree. Karkras. =)"
Yorg says, "yah"
Paramedic asks, "What happened with Neige?"
Tas says, "yes sabbit"
Tas says, "he followed his heart to another clan."
Yorg says, "he grew up"
Henryk says, "we would welcome any exile who has a heart of tan"
Henryk says, ": D"
Karkras says, "We must all follow our hearts."
Rugur says, "Ask Neige"
(Yorg nods in agreement)
(Paramedic nods)
Sabbit says, "Oh dear"
Thalion says, "Spark, who wants to join wishes to be a mystic"
Medissa says, ": )"
(Yorg smiles)
Fist of Fluff says, "Neige's heart had another calling"
Rugur says, "Spark seems like a good person"
Thalion says, "she is"
Fist of Fluff says, "We must all follow our hearts"
(Sabbit looks sad)
(Yorg chuckles)
Karkras says, "Without mystics, Society would lose cohesion and
disintegrate."
Paramedic asks, "4) What do you see in the future for Tan? What plans
do you have?"
(Solohawk smiles)
Medissa says, ": )"
(Yorg smiles)
(Solohawk smiles)
Karkras says, "A clan is the same."
Tas says, "I think the clan will mature as the members do."
Yorg says, "unsure about the future"
Karkras says, "I see Tan evolving."
Paramedic asks, "unsure?"
Yorg says, "well no concrete planns"
Ethernal says, "dunno, where to go next, follow what we are doing now,
for the moment"
Henryk says, "we will take the future as it comes…"
Tas says, "but the clan, hopefully, as is set in its principles so as
to be flexible as the members mature"
Karkras says, "Right now, there are many decisions to be made on our
structure the way we communicate and do things."
Tas says, "members will go and come and follow their hearts"
Tas says, "I'm sure"
Paramedic asks, "what would you LIKE to see in the future for the
clan?" Henryk says, "humm…"
Drenn says, "hey"
Tas says, "hmm"
(Solohawk smiles)
Karkras says, "I see grand projects, sponsored by Tan."
(Tas nods)
Thalion says, "growth"
(Yorg smiles)
(Henryk nods)
Athala says, "=)"
Tas ponders, "we did vote on the projects"
Karkras says, "Perhaps a railway."
(Yorg stares in amazement)
Rugur says, "I think some of us would like to have some influence over
current events."
Athala says, "ooooh"
Tas ponders, "kegs of rootbeer"
(Paramedic listens)
Athala says, "=)"
Tas ponders, "brought in by rail"
Karkras says, "Bridges on the Fire Island, perhaps…"
Henryk says, "and we wish for the invention of kegs of rootbeer"
(Tas smiles)
(Sabbit wishes for pets)
(Yorg chuckles)
Ethernal ponders, "a bulding on Devil's Island would be nice"
Karkras says, "or a dock there."
Athala says, "=)"
Fist of Fluff ponders, "Rootbeer"
Ethernal ponders, "root beer"
Paramedic asks, "5) Do you think Puddleby should seek peace with
Tenebrion?"
Yorg says, "hmm"
Swami says, "I do"
Drenn ponders, "He'd better say yes."
Yorg says, "I don''t know Tenebrion"
Fist of Fluff says, "Puddleby should be careful about Tenebrion"
(Sabbit is lost)
Ethernal says, "that story is a bit big for most of us.. but he is
dangerous.."
Paramedic asks, "why, Fist?"
Fist of Fluff says, "Peace with him would be a good thing"
Athala ponders, "personally,
I am all for PEACE. (for all)."
Karkras says, "As a clan, we do not have an official stand on that
issue."
Henryk says, "it is better to have allies then enemies"
Rugur says, "Tenebrion tried to eat me once"
Tas ponders, "we as a clan have not discussed Puddleby in that manner
yet"
Athala exclaims, "!"
Paramedic asks, "Have any of you been to his keep?"
Yorg says, "a piece of pie"
Fist of Fluff says, "Yes"
Henryk says, "I was there once"
Rugur says, "Yes. Tenebrion tried to eat me once"
Fist of Fluff says, "Today"
(Tas nods)
Thalion says, "no"
Tas says, "I've met him"
Paramedic asks, "were you injured?"
Sabbit ponders, "huh? could someone fill me in?"
Karkras says, "A few of us have been there."
Rugur says, "fallen"
Henryk says, "I fell there"
Paramedic asks, "You met him, Tas?"
Tas says, "he stood over the 20+ fallen and left us…."
Fist of Fluff says, "I was on the dock today when the boat arrived"
Ethernal says, "I think he is feared by his own people, he is dangerous
to us too"
Tas says, "it was long ago…"
Tas says, "perhaps before I was a clan member"
Yorg says, "I dont know either"
Rugur says, "I generally don't like to associate with cannibals"
Fist of Fluff says, "His guards attacked me"
(Henryk remebers what Tas is describing)
Tas says, "I recall… Natas there"
Tas says, "and many others"
(Paramedic listens)
Ethernal ponders, "'Cannibals' is for same species, he is undisclosed
;-)"
Tas says, "my memory is fuzzy"
Fist of Fluff says, "I ran from them but they did not stop"
(Paramedic listens)
Rugur says, "he is an elf"
Ethernal says, "nah, he only looks like one"
Drenn ponders, "elf?"
Tas says, "it was in a tower, I believe"
Paramedic says, "I see."
Fist of Fluff asks, "Why would he send his boat if his guards attack
anyone who goes there?"
Rugur says, "I was in his kitchen"
(Sabbit nods)
Ethernal says, "his status is listed as a undisclosed individual"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Interested in conspiracies?

Visit the Puddleby Conspiracy Group

They are looking for more readers and more conspiracies.

<http://homepage.mac.com/myselfthethoom/>

brought to you by Mi'seil the Thoom

#####
THE FISHWRAP POLL

New question:
#5) What are your favorite uses for Fishwrap Magazine? (Vote for one or
more choices)
* Lining the cage of my pet bloodhawk
* Whacking the local nosy Thooms on the snout
* Reading the contents to keep up on current events in Puddleby
* Wrapping up my leftover fish
* Folding it into origami wendeckas
* Stuffing my shirt with it so I look "bigger" if you know what I mean
* How else could I hit Prue with all those spitballs? Nuff said
* Mailing all the articles about me to my mom on the mainland
* Donating it to the cold and lonely dwarf fund
* Mulching my kudzu garden

Fairly low turnout for this, considering that you can cast multiple
votes.  Poll results so far reveal that at least six exiles are
whacking Thooms on the snout with Fishwrap Magazine.  Heads up to you
Thooms out there: keep an eye out.

Vote today!
<http://www.egroups.com/polls/fishwrapmagazine>

#####
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New to the lands? Troubled by critters? Confused by balance?

Find all your answers (and a whole lot more)
at Better Living Through Fast Feet.

<http://drennen.org/cl/>

brought to you by Nohn the Fen

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER

[Drunk and Disorderly]

Well, Puck must have noticed the coins weren't coming in, since he's
let me back in his fine establishment. The bartender still seems a bit
shaken from the last time Natas, Kryll and I hung him upside-down from
the antlers on the wall. This time around he was sure to make note of a
mistake in my last submission to the 'wrap:
Halflings get Lilaberry Cider

After some hesitation, I have tried my hand at an interview:

[Love, Hate and a Heroine]

(Slyph grins)
Slyph says, "Prue is doing an Auntie Prue thing.."
Charlos says, "yea, I think I heard about that one"
Charlos says, "it outta be juicy 8-)"
Charlos says, "Ok, we're here in Chef Haricot's greasy dive"
Slyph asks, "oh are you going to practice on me?"
Charlos says, "yeap"
(Slyph smiles seductively)
Charlos says, "8-)"
Charlos says, "ok"
Slyph says, "I see, charlos… practice, eh.."
Charlos says, "heh"
Charlos ponders, "keep yer pants on"
Charlos says, "So…"
(Slyph will try)
Charlos asks, "Who is Puddleby's most hated exile?"
Slyph says, "hmm, thats a very good question."
Charlos ponders, "there are so many 8-)"
Charlos says, "Off the top of your head"
Slyph says, "I would say that, perhaps with the concern over Tenebrion,
it might be Tyking"
Charlos asks, "because he had some dealings with Tenebrion?"
Slyph says, "yes, and because of the possession of a sword of souls.."
Charlos says, "ah"
Slyph says, "one that may have part of an exile's soul in it."
Slyph says, "Tyking seems to be gleeful about the sword"
Slyph says, "I think he has become Tenebrion's seeing-eye dog."
Charlos says, "ah"
Charlos says, "hmm"
Charlos asks, "Who is Puddleby's most loved exile?"
Slyph says, "hmm."
Slyph says, "I would make a strong argument for Dora :)"
Charlos asks, "Dora eh?"
(Slyph nods)
Slyph exclaims, "she's so sweet!"
Charlos ponders, "pickle lady?"
Slyph says, "and missing, of course :("
Charlos ponders, "sweet pickles?"
Charlos says, "ah"
Charlos asks, "she is lost in the library?"
Slyph says, "aye.."
Slyph says, "but if you would consider active exiles.."
Slyph says, "this is a very tough question, actually."
Charlos says, "sure, among those active…"
Slyph says, "hmm."
Slyph says, "me, perhaps"
Charlos says, "8-)"
(Slyph nods and smiles)
Charlos says, "excellent answer"
Slyph says, "how Babajaga fawns over me.."
Slyph says, "I could cite many examples."
Charlos says, "as could I"
Charlos ponders, "did she think I said most lusted after?"
Charlos says, "so.."
Charlos says, "last question"
(Slyph grins)
Charlos says, "Koraleva has this contest going on right now.."
Slyph asks, "oh?"
Charlos says, "yea, about hero"
Charlos says, "err, heroes"
Slyph says, "hmm"
Charlos says, "write a story about your hero..etc.."
Charlos says, "for prizes…"
Slyph says, "ah, interesting.."
Charlos says, "Koraleva reports: CONTEST!!PRIZES!! http://
www.angelfire.com/rock/dragun/hero2.html""
Charlos says, "so…"
(Slyph laughs)
Charlos asks, "Do you have a hero?"
Charlos asks, "Someone who showed you the ropes when you first
arrived?"
Slyph says, "I think so.."
(Slyph nods)
Slyph says, "Marfisa."
Charlos says, "ah"
Chef Haricot asks, "How you expect me to make always the feast, if I
have not the proper ingredients?"
Slyph says, "she's very special to me."
Charlos says, "she's great"
Slyph says, "and yes, she took me under her wing when I arrived. Later
I would become her squire."
Charlos asks, "oh?"
Slyph says, "they will write songs about her, Charlos.."
(Slyph nods)
Slyph says, "yes, we met when we both fell in north field.."
Chef Haricot says, "One pinch more of salt, and the soup, she will be
perfection."
Slyph says, "I said something funny and we were laughing up a storm
waiting to be rescued :)"
Slyph says, "friends since."
Charlos says, "she's quite a crack-up"
Charlos says, "had me rolling many times"
Slyph says, "she has SUCH a sense of humor. :)"
Charlos says, "8-)"
Slyph says, "aye :)"
Slyph says, "I get very upset when she's studying for long periods of
time" Charlos says, "well, I thank you for your time"
You gave good karma to Slyph, 8-)
You just received good karma from Slyph, :)
Charlos says, "and I hope it wasn't too painful"
Slyph exclaims, "not at all!"

[Sweet Words, Dusty Tongue]

Lucky am I to have found love amidst madness in our exiles. I wanted to
give Solas a Caduceus as an engagement gift, so I had a cautious but
friendly Thoom purchase one for me. He slipped it in my bag and I was
off. When I was all set and we were both in Falinea's Garden, I started
with the mushy stuff. Then I fumbled around in my pack for her gift.
All she got was a fallen dumbass and Caduceus dust. <moral> If you are
not a healer, you have no business holding Moonstones, Caduceus' or
Sylphstone Rings.

#####
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The Northern Hospital (in the NW Forest safe cave) is increasingly
staffed with healers as well. ThoomCare affiliate Amarais Fina has
recently been specializing in NW Forest wounds and is often on duty
there.

#####
FISHWRAP FINANCIAL SECTION

Fen Lorikeet's report on the investigation into the bank follows.

Here is the letter I sent to the Bank Manager:

Dear Bank Manager,

After having received reports from the clans that lost money in the
unfortunate bank tunneling episode, I have concluded that there must be
hidden away somewhere another strongbox of coins. I am quite certain
that the treasurers have all given me the correct amount of their
losses. You explained that the amount of money rediscovered was 16471.
Unfortunately, the amount of losses come to 26273. The amount of money
to be redistributed, therefore, is 62.69% of the money lost. I have
therefore decided (and previously advised the treasurers) that the
money currently available should be distributed proportionally. That
is, each clan will receive 62.69% of the total lost. The clans, the
amount lost, and the amount to be refunded are as follows:

Rising Claw: Lost 10479 coins; Receive 6569 coins
OWE: Lost 500 coins; Receive 313 coins
BOI: Lost 150 coins; Receive 94 coins
GDI: Lost 145 coins; Receive 91 coins
Blue Team: Lost 1495 coins; Receive 937 coins
Winds of Dawn: Lost 248 coins; Receive 155 coins
Darkhorse Clan: Lost 190 coins; Receive 119 coins
Dwarven Militia: Lost 3337 coins; Receive 2092 coins
Sun Dragon: Lost 4349 coins; Receive 2726 coins
Thoomcare: Lost 330 coins; Receive 207 coins
Hunter: Lost 3600 coins; Receive 2257 coins
Fellowship: Lost 648 coins; Receive 406 coins
Red Quill: Lost 95 coins; Receive 60
Light and Shadow: Lost 47 coins; Receive 29
Laughing Academy: Lost 45 coins; Receive 28
POS: Lost 600 coins; Receive 376
Rea'n Famkul: Lost 15 coins; Receive 9

(Note: LOW lost one coin, and I have denied their claim)

I sincerely hope you will search for that missing box of coins.

Sincerely,

Lorikeet

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
FROM TYKING II THE FEN

On Laughing Academy
Well, it's official. Due to all the bad karma I've been receiving, The
Laughing Academy has decided to terminate my membership. Now, let's
take a look at the logic of this decision.
Number one: They said that membership would be terminated IF bad karma
outweighed good karma. I still had more good than bad karma.
Number two: They decided to make this decision at a time when they
didn't have enough members online to kick me out.
Number three: I spent 200 coins on this clan, 100 to join, and 100 I
donated to the fund, yet they still kick me out! Oh, but it was
nothing, because according to Bubbles, it "Greatly Helped The Clan." If
I greatly helped the clan, why did they still decide to kick me out?
They've lost two of their members already, Perrin and Hidden, and they
decide to take the matter into their own hands and kick others out?
Where is the logic here?

On Elenis
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but the opinions of Elenis
Reyav have flipflopped more than a meshra scarfing down caffeine. Let's
take a look at "The evolution of the Elenis opinion."
Stage 1: Elenis claims that the sword of souls was not indeed the one
Tenebrion used.
Stage 2: He changes his views and says that it is the same sword, but
the "auras are all wrong". Does anybody know what the hell he is
talking about?
Stage 3: He deletes both opinions, and goes to telling me I'm full of
it.
Stage 4: He goes back to stage 1
Now, he's also claiming that the sword has some sort of control over
me. I never thought a fighter could be that stupid, but I guess I was
wrong. First of all, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I had wished
to serve Tenebrion before he gave me the sword! Second of all, I have
the ability, should I choose to, to give the sword back to Tenebrion
and stop serving him. Not that I want to, that is.

On Noivad
This sylvan who I never even knew before this, has got a lot to learn.
His letter to the editor in Fishwrap 22 has so many errors in it, I
don't even know where to start! Let's try quoting it, and attacking it
from there:

"Very interesting article. I can't think of anyone less ept to be a
moderating force in negoiations, however, I can't think of an exile
with such an ability that would agree to become a servant to a master
that keeps his aims secret."

First off, Tenebrion does not, I repeat, does not keep his aims secret.
They have been of common knowledge for quite a while! He wants to know
what purgatory is, and how to get there! Those are his only concerns
with us! He has no desire to attack Puddleby, as others have imagined
somehow.

"One very interesting thing Tyking said was that even he sees a need
for a government. Tyking, for those not familiar with him, is a fairly
disruptive individual, and as such, I'm surprised he endorses the
idea."

A disruptive individual? What exactly do you mean by that? Not only do
you refuse to provide evidence for your accusation, but you don't even
define what disruptive means! First off, I've never even met you, never
spoken with you, never done anything with you, so how can you judge me
as if those were true?

"It's akin to a fox insisting that someone else guard the chicken
coop,"

Now you're using metaphors that will drive a Ghorak Zo insane trying to
figure out! Try speaking common next time!

"since I think someone like him might wish there to be anarchy."

If I had desired anarchy, I would say so! And since I did not, I would
advise you to drop the issue.

"From this, my conclusion is that we should form a government."

So, let me get this straight, you're confused that I wanted a
government, you attack my behavior, then conclude that my opinion is
the right one?

On Recent Tenebrionic Issues
Many people have inquired about my sword, and I'm always glad to tell
them about it.
Lately, I have recently found that I can finally absorb souls with my
sword. When this occurs, the corpse of the monster glows, and the sword
screams. So far this has only occurred with rats and vermine. Lastly, I
urge all exiles who possess a purgatory pendant to give it to
Tenebrion. If you do, you shall be rewarded with a soul sword of your
own!

Tyking II

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Crippler interviews Ziff Rengar
Exclusive interview with Tere the Witch
"Inside the Dentist's Chair" with Merlisk the Thoom
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles":  LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
Exclusive interview with Ghoti the Mystic
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tyking
II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

New question:
#5) What are your favorite uses for Fishwrap Magazine? (Vote for one or
more choices)
* Lining the cage of my pet bloodhawk
* Whacking the local nosy Thooms on the snout
* Reading the contents to keep up on current events in Puddleby
* Wrapping up my leftover fish
* Folding it into origami wendeckas
* Stuffing my shirt with it so I look "bigger" if you know what I mean
* How else could I hit Prue with all those spitballs? Nuff said
* Mailing all the articles about me to my mom on the mainland
* Donating it to the cold and lonely dwarf fund
* Mulching my kudzu garden

Vote today!
<http://www.egroups.com/polls/fishwrapmagazine>

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover panther
pudding with it in the afternoon"
Issue #22:  Blitz, Xantcha, Chris Rex
[November 27, 2000]
Circulation: 114

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Vagile the Zo: "Prue fell to a rat."
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* J'Team: <http://jteam.clanlords.com/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO
      - <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Puddleby now has a new chaining guild, The Catenae
      - The Catenae are working toward more effective chain use
      - <http://www.gamesniper.com/catenae/>
* T'rools and dews invade Puddleby (pictures here)
      - <http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Trool+Invasion/>
* Fishwrap's picture guide to the last chaos storm is now available
      - <http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Chaos+Storm/>

brought to you by Norm:
* Rumors of new trainers in the lands
* Norm fends off giant spawn of spriggins
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
      - <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

brought to you by Babajaga:
* Kojiro taking skin samples of exiles
* Exile exploration intensifies with rumors of new trainers, areas,
libraries
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
      - <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers.

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
REPORTER ALTHEA INTERVIEWS BLITZ THE FEN

Althea says, "Welcome to Five Questions with Blitz"
Ba'alzamon says, "and baalz, geezer extrodinar"
Ba'alzamon says, ";)"
(Althea smiles)
(Ba'alzamon shuts up now.)
Althea says, "Hi blitz"
Blitz says, "hello Althea"
Althea says, "Para the Thoom and Ba'alzamon are with us"
Ba'alzamon says, "I'm back from the dead horray"
Althea says, "Blitz the way this works is I'll ask you five questions,
then a sixth"
Althea says, "then you git to ask Para anything you want"
(Blitz nods)
Althea says, "so Blitz there are a lot of weapons in the lands now..."
Althea says, "what is your favorite weapon and why"
Blitz says, "That's an easy one....the axe."
(Magnels chuckles.)
Ba'alzamon says, "I'm a geezer"
Magnels says, "old standby"
Althea asks, "the axe?"
Blitz says, "It's cheap, does good damage"
Paramedic shows his axe to everyone.
Althea asks, "you like that better than a Greatsword?"
Blitz says, "I've not owned a greatsword since the war"
Althea says, "ah..."
Althea says, "they are spendy..."
Blitz says, "I've tested one, from a few friends"
Blitz says, "Didn't find it to be much better than my trusty ole axe."
Althea says, "okie... I guess we could call you conservative about your
weapon choice then?"
Blitz says, "Hmm"
Blitz says, "Practical might be a better word"
Althea says, "I mean, fell blade, gossamer..."
Althea says, "practical then..."
Althea says, "ok."
Althea says, "next question:"
Althea asks, "What is your favorite place to hunt?"
Blitz says, "If I want to earn coins, I go to Dal'Noth"
Althea says, "ah..."
Althea asks, "good coin there?"
Blitz says, "Two-Man Dal can bring in quite a few coins"
Blitz says, "I can earn nearly 1k in no time at all with just myself
and Klur"
Althea exclaims, "wow!"
Althea exclaims, "nice!"
Magnels says, "impressive indeed"
Althea asks, "and if you're not hunting coins?"
Blitz says, "But I prefer to go to the Outback, it's lots more
exciting"
Althea asks, "oh? what makes it exciting?"
Althea says, "Many of our readers may not be familiar with that term"
Blitz says, "The area beyond Wisher's Gate"
Blitz says, "On the way to the Orga Village"
Ba'alzamon asks, "We can't interject with other questions can we,
Althea?"
Althea says, "go ahead, Baal. I'll edit if I don't like 'em ;)"
Blitz says, "It's pretty excitiing because of the potential danger"
Ba'alzamon asks, "how much skea do you find it effective for good
coinage blitz?"
Blitz says, "Requires a group to work together"
Althea says, "jes a sec baal"
Ba'alzamon says, "erp"
Althea asks, "can you say more about that Blitz?"
Ba'alzamon asks, "jumped the gun aye lass?"
Blitz says, "that's the most fun of anything for me, working together
with others to accomplish something"
(Althea notes "teamwork")
Blitz asks, "Another question?"
Ba'alzamon says, "my question"
Althea says, "okie Baal"
Ba'alzamon says, "ok, for good coinage, what do you think is a good
amount of skea, or what do you have"
Blitz says, "I have zero skea training"
Ba'alzamon says, "alright"
Blitz says, "Which is why I go to Dal, to earn coins"
(Ba'alzamon notes skea == waste of time)
Paramedic asks, "What do think makes a team work well together, Blitz?"
Althea asks, "so what makes a team work well together blitz?"
(Althea tries to emulate the esteemed Editor Paramedic)
Blitz says, "For me, teamwork requires the group to know their
individual roles"
Paramedic asks, "Such as when and what to fight or heal?"
Blitz says, "Seems to me, most people want to have a specific role"
(Paramedic listens)
Althea asks, "so the group is organized?"
Blitz says, "having a role, gives each person something to focus on"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "So they have a sense of what to do when in the thick
of things?"
(Blitz nods)
Paramedic asks, "How about leadership? Does a hunting group need a
leader?"
Blitz says, "Best thing, it enables many leveled people to work
together"
Blitz says, "Doesn't have to be all high level folks to accomplish
something"
Althea asks, "ah... so you don't have to be a superfighter/healer to be
useful?"
Althea asks, "to contribute?"
Blitz says, "Not at all, that's where the roles come into play"
Blitz says, "A leader is vital Para"
Paramedic asks, "Why?"
Blitz says, "helps the group see the big picture while they are focused
on their role"
Blitz says, "Listening to one person, helps with decisions"
Paramedic asks, "Does it have to be a single individual? Can there be
more than one?"
Blitz says, "One person tends to keep the confusion down"
(Paramedic listens)
Althea asks, "too many cooks spoil the broth?"
Blitz says, "Its much easier for me to listen to one person"
(Althea nods)
Althea asks, "what do you think makes a good leader in that kind of
situation?"
Blitz says, "Conflicting messages cause hesitation, and that alone can
cause groups to fall sometimes"
Blitz says, "It's a quick ride home that way though, heh"
Althea says, "heh"
(Paramedic has seen that happen.)
(Blitz has too)
Paramedic asks, "next question?"
Althea asks, "so what makes a good team, Blitz? are there
characteristics you look for?"
Paramedic says, "ah"
Blitz says, "Hmm"
Blitz says, "Really only takes 2 things"
(Althea notes: 2 things)
Blitz says, "Someone who is willing to listen and follow the group
plan"
Blitz says, "and stay within their means"
Blitz says, "There's always times for a person to share an
idea...that's how things get better"
(Paramedic listens)
Blitz says, "But while in the thick of things, I think ya gotta stick
to the plan,and listen to the leader"
(Althea nods)
Blitz says, "scuse me for a sec"
Althea exclaims, "sure!"
(Paramedic thooms...)
Blitz says, "sorry about that"
Althea says, "oh no problem"
Axell says, "hehe"
Ba'alzamon says, ";)"
Althea says, "next question: to the lighter side"
Althea asks, "so what do you think of romance in the lands?"
Blitz says, "Hmm"
Althea asks, "is there a special someone in Blitz's life?"
Ba'alzamon says, "althea thats me"
(Ba'alzamon winks.)
Blitz says, "Takara, but I rarely see her anymore"
Althea asks, "ah... she is human, no?
(Blitz nods)
Althea asks, "some disagree with mixing races... do you two find this a
problem?"
(Ba'alzamon nods.)
Blitz says, "Not at all"
(Althea listens)
Blitz says, "It's about who's under the cloak ;)"
Althea says, "yes, I notice you are cloaked."
(Althea winks)
Blitz exclaims, "It's all Sutai's fault!"
Althea says, "heheh"
Althea asks, "did he give you your cloak?"
Magnels says, "Sure, blame the monk ;)"
Blitz says, "No, didnt give it to me...but, he was the inspiration
behind it <g>"
Althea says, "ah hah"
Blitz says, "There was a Greymyr in town one evening"
Blitz exclaims, "he ran right up to it, and hit it!"
Althea exclaims, "!!"
Althea asks, "wow! a mystic hit a myr?"
Blitz exclaims, "yeah, a mysfit, hitting a greymyr!"
Althea exclaims, "that must have been inspiring!"
Blitz says, "I figured, heck, must be something to do with the cloak"
(Althea nods)
Blitz says, "So, I got one"
Blitz exclaims, "and sure enough!"
Blitz exclaims, "I ran up to the Myr, and hit it too!"
(Althea notes that a rat just hit Blitz)
Althea says, "wow"
Blitz says, "twice, in a row"
Blitz says, "note that too ;)"
Althea says, "heee"
Blitz says, "durn rats"
(Althea grins)
Althea says, "okie next question"
Althea says, "many of us who are working on our circle tests"
Althea says, "have something clearly to work for..."
Althea asks, "what does someone work for after they pass those durned
tests?"
Althea asks, "what are Blitz's goals?"
Blitz asks, "Not die so much?"
(Althea grins)
Blitz says, "Hmm"
Blitz says, "There's all kinds of goals really"
Blitz says, "Some decide to specialize in areas"
Blitz says, "For example, with the fell blade"
(Althea nods)
Blitz says, "or learn pathfinding"
Blitz says, "or aim to earn a ledger"
Althea says, "so once you pass 4th..."
Althea asks, "it ain't all over?"
Blitz says, "It's never over"
Blitz says, "There's alot of things i'd like to be trained in"
Blitz says, "To be a better group member"
(Althea listens)
Althea asks, "so what does the future hold for Blitz?"
Blitz says, "Not sure."
Blitz says, "But one thing is for certain, I'll be having fun with my
clan"
Althea says, "ah... The clan"
Blitz says, "did I open up a can of worms? heh"
(Althea rifles through her notes)
Paramedic says, "Your clan has been a controversial one...."
Paramedic asks, "any thoughts on why?"
(Althea defers to her Editor)
Blitz says, "If I had to guess why, i'd say it's mostly due to not
knowing us"
(Paramedic listens)
Althea says, "not knowing you..."
Althea asks, "can you elaborate?"
Blitz says, "Things are said, and judgments are formed, without
anything to base it on, other than word of mouth"
Blitz says, "Doesn't bother me much anymore"
(Althea listens)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think there are things you could do to change
that perception?"
Blitz says, "Probably"
Blitz says, "But I've never been too worried about public perception of
me"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think it hurts the clan?"
Blitz says, "If someone thinks badly of me, that's up to them"
Blitz asks, "Can ya restate that Para?"
Paramedic says, "Well"
Paramedic asks, "do you ever think "maybe there are things we could do
to change people's perceptions"?"
Paramedic asks, "Or do you tend not to worry about it much?"
Blitz says, "I dont worry about it too much"
(Paramedic nods)
(Althea nods)
Althea says, "next and final question"
Paramedic asks, "Are there things about the clan you'd like to change?"
Althea ponders, "oops"
Paramedic says, "sorry I have a couple here"
Blitz says, "heh"
(Althea bows to Para)
Blitz says, "Hmm"
(Paramedic thooms editorially.)
Blitz says, "We all get along great, can't think of anything to change"
Segal ponders, "thooming editorially .... hmmm never heard that kinda
thooming before"
Althea ponders, "he's an assertive thoom"
Paramedic asks, "Does PM have plans for future members?"
Blitz says, "Depends I guess"
Blitz says, "Not really "looking" to add members"
(Althea listens)
Paramedic asks, "No formal procedures for admission?"
Blitz says, "Never had that"
(Paramedic nods.)
Paramedic asks, "Have you ever had to kick a member out?"
Blitz says, "No"
Paramedic says, "One final followup I think"
Paramedic asks, "A lot of clans are having problems right
now...internal strife, etc. Any of that in PM?"
Blitz says, "Not to my knowledge"
Paramedic asks, "Any thoughts on why other clans are seeing these
problems now?"
Blitz says, "One thing that helps us avoid that"
(Paramedic listens)
Blitz says, "We spend a great deal of time together"
Blitz says, "I can pretty much guess what a member is gonna do, before
they do it"
Althea asks, "like in a hunting situation?"
Paramedic says, "That's interesting. My research seems to show that
it's when clans stop spending as much time together that the divisions
begin."
Blitz says, "We try and communicate on everything"
Blitz says, "I agree Para"
Paramedic says, "Another problem is newer members feel out of touch
with older founding members."
Paramedic says, "and they break along those lines"
Blitz says, "We are a pretty small sized clan as well"
Paramedic says, "I think smaller clans stick together better."
Blitz says, "Less of a problem with those things"
(Blitz nods)
Paramedic says, "Ok Althea."
(Althea smiles)
Althea asks, "What do you like about Thooms?"
Blitz asks, "That for me?"
(Paramedic listens intently.)
Althea says, "yes"
Blitz says, "Oh that's an easy one"
Paramedic says, "Undoubtedly. I KNOW what I think of Thooms"
Blitz exclaims, "It's gotta be that Thoomy walk!"
Althea exclaims, "oh yeah!"
(Althea waits for Para to demonstrate)
Blitz asks, "Para, would you mind doing it for me?"
Blitz exclaims, "There it is!"
Althea says, "wooo"
(Paramedic walks)
Blitz exclaims, "The head bob is kickin!"
Althea says, "very casual n kicked back-like"
Paramedic says, "Somewhat pigeon-like."
Althea says, "okie! now comes the last part of the Interview"
Althea exclaims, "Ask the Thoom!"
Paramedic says, "I think he gets to ask YOU the question, Althea."
Althea says, "you have one question, Blitz"
Althea asks, "oh?"
Paramedic says, "yep."
Althea says, "but I'm not a Thoom..."
(Blitz grins evily)
Paramedic says, "Ask the orange sylvan."
Blitz asks, "Inner-Thoom?"
Althea exclaims, "heh!"
Althea says, "okie... go ahead"
Althea says, "you git ta ask the Sylvan"
Blitz says, "Alrighty"
Segal ponders, "Para wears a similar robe to Bones, K'pyn and Myself
too ... hmm I sense a thoom conspiricy coming on"
Blitz asks, "Althea, what is your fondest memory while being in the
lands?"
Paramedic says, "Good question."
Althea says, "ooh..."
(Paramedic listens.)
(Segal thooms in a secret keeping kinda way)
Althea says, "there's so many..."
Althea says, "there's learning to fight from a certain Exile"
(Althea winks at Blitz)
(Blitz smiles)
Althea says, "I'd have to say, a recent one that crops to mind comes
from the Ripture War"
Althea says, "I'd been taking a lot of grief from lesser experienced
exiles, pulling me out of the fight"
Althea says, "so they could wiff at the beasties"
Paramedic says, "How rude."
Althea says, "and it was after that... holding a line of revours and GW
with Polychrome"
Althea says, "and holding 'em off..."
Blitz says, "ooooo revoirs"
(Paramedic remembers revours.)
Althea asks, "yaar... remember those?"
Paramedic says, "nasty"
Blitz says, "mean lil critters"
Althea says, "this was in the Adytum... and no one had gone taintless
yet"
Althea says, "I mean... lots had... but we were running out of
folks..."
Althea says, "and it was that time... just the zen of the fighting..."
Althea says, "and being strong enuff to fight side by side with poly...
who was a powerful zo pre war"
Althea says, "that's one of 'em."
Althea says, "The fondest? hard to say... but that was a good one."
Blitz says, "Very nice."
Althea says, "Thank you for the interview Blitz :)"
Blitz says, "My pleasure"
Paramedic says, "Indeed, a fine interview"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

The following is a paid political advertisement brought to you by
Vagile the Zo.

"Prue fell to a rat."

The preceding has been a paid political advertisement brought to you by
Vagile the Zo.

#####
THE FISHWRAP POLL

Current questions:
#3) What do you think about 'dews?
* They can be deadly, but have nothing to do with cloning or mind-
control
     11     37.93%
* They are an effective tool for Qual to control or clone the citizens
of Puddleby
     18     62.07%

#4) Should Puddleby seek peace with Tenebrion?
* Yes, we should seek peace.
     16     65.57%
* No to peace!
      7     30.43%

New question:
#5) What are your favorite uses for Fishwrap Magazine? (Vote for one or
more choices)
* Lining the cage of my pet bloodhawk
* Whacking the local nosy Thooms on the snout
* Reading the contents to keep up on current events in Puddleby
* Wrapping up my leftover fish
* Folding it into origami wendeckas
* Stuffing my shirt with it so I look "bigger" if you know what I mean
* How else could I hit Prue with all those spitballs? Nuff said
* Mailing all the articles about me to my mom on the mainland
* Donating it to the cold and lonely dwarf fund
* Mulching my kudzu garden

Vote today!
<http://www.egroups.com/polls/fishwrapmagazine>

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Injured?  Fallen?

Contact J'Team, J'nder & J'jh , Puddleby's most famous twin healing
team.

J'nder & J'jh invite exiles to visit their scrolls:

http://jteam.clanlords.com/
(home of the the "infamous" J'Dance)

J'Team!

#####
REPORT FROM THOOMCARE HOSPITAL
BY CRIPPLER THE THOOM, SENIOR REPORTER

South Forest General Hospital
Greetings fellow exiles. The South Forest hospital has turned into more
than just a place to heal up or rest. It is becoming a meeting place
much like town square with lots of drama, as lives hang in the balance,
and hospital workers get bored.  While I was on hospital duty in the
south forest, I stumbled across a strange situation involving Xantcha
and Chris Rex.  I decided to investigate further...

Crippler says, "Xantcha ...."
Xantcha asks, "Yes?"
Crippler says, "I understand that you caught Chris Rex doing something
alone in the Outpost"
Xantcha says, "Well, actually he had run in there to hide his
nakedness."
Crippler asks, "oh?"
Crippler asks, "You were both naked?"
(Chris Rex sighs)
Chris Rex shows his Purple Tor Inn key to everyone.
Xantcha says, "No ."
Crippler says, "that's good"
Chris Rex says, ":-)"
Xantcha says, "Chris was actually trying to scare me, so he took off
his robe."
Crippler asks, "Chris, why were you running around the forest naked?"
Crippler asks, "Do you think that you are the nature boy?"
Xantcha says, "He was angry"
Chris Rex says, "I was not naked UNTIL we were in the outpost"
Crippler says, "oh"
Xantcha asks, "What?"
Xantcha says, "That is not true."
(Chris Rex checks to see if he has a visionstone)
Crippler asks, "so Xantcha was in there when you got naked?"
Xantcha says, "He was angry because he went to sleep out here."
Crippler asks, "he sleeps naked in the forest?"
Chris Rex ponders, "she has no sense of chronological order"
Xantcha says, "I was trying to push him into the hospital so he would
be safe."
Crippler says, "i see"
(Chris Rex looks for film)
Xantcha says, "When he woke up...."
Xantcha says, "he was angry."
(Chris Rex finds film)
Crippler says, "We do have hospital gowns ya know.."
Xantcha says, "I hear he is always grumpy when he first wakes up."
Xantcha says, "Well, anyway..."
Chris Rex says, "Xxxanny... you may want to rethink your story before i
show a visionstone :-)"
Xantcha says, "in order to punish me, he took off his clothes and
danced naked."
Crippler exclaims, "Oh my!"
Xantcha exclaims, "Oh!"
Xantcha says, "Ummm"
Chris Rex asks, "ok..if this the story you want to stay with..I can
send him the visionstone?"
Xantcha asks, "You have a visionstone of what really happened?"
(Chris Rex nods)
Xantcha says, "Oh."
Crippler asks, "So you make visionstones of yourself naked?"
(Xantcha bites her lip.)
Chris Rex says, "not exactly"
Crippler asks, "so Xantcha left you in the outpost naked?"
(Xantcha gasps)
Crippler says, "ok, go ahead Chris"
Xantcha exclaims, "Chris, you wouldn't!"
Crippler says, "Tell us what really happened"
(Xantcha glares at Chris!)
Chris Rex says, "UNLIKE XAN, I am NOT gonna drag this stuff into the
paper"
Chris Rex says, "even though she deserves it"
Crippler says, "Its too late now..."
Crippler says, "might as well tell the true story"
Xantcha says, "Chris."
Chris Rex says, "Well I will not be dragged into this."
Chris Rex says, "she felt the need to make things up.."
(Xantcha looks pleadingly at Chris.)
Chris Rex says, "but i will not tell of these things"
Chris Rex says, "even though I SHOULD"
(Chris Rex glares)
Chris Rex asks, "have you learned a lesson?"
Xantcha says, "Umm, yes of course."
Xantcha says, "Crippler."
Xantcha says, "The true story is nothing like what I told you."
Xantcha says, "Nothing happened at all."
Chris Rex ponders, "good girl"
Xantcha says, "Nothing to see."
Xantcha says, "Move along."

Well, they seemed to come to a agreement to keep everything quiet about
the situation. So  I decided to ask Xantcha about her husband Grye, so
that she may clear the air before any rumors started.

Xantcha is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
She is holding a moonstone.
(She is committed in marriage to her husband Gyre.)
Crippler asks, "isn't she married?"
Chris Rex says, "married-schmarried"
Xantcha says, "yes I am."
Xantcha is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
She is holding a moonstone.
(She is committed in marriage to her husband Gyre.)
Chris Rex says, "everyone is available"
Crippler says, "I have never seen the guy"
Chris Rex says, "exactly"
Crippler says, "How do we know it's not all made up"
Xantcha says, "Well, he studies a lot."
Chris Rex says, "yeah yeah"
Chris Rex says, "much study=grounds for divorce"
Crippler says, "you must get lonely Xantcha?"
(Xantcha nods.)
Chris Rex says, "Divorcees= food for Chris Rex"
Xantcha is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
She is holding a moonstone.
(She is committed in marriage to her husband Gyre.)
Chris Rex shows his Purple Tor Inn key to everyone.
Xantcha asks, "But what can I do?"
Crippler says, "I hope this dude doesn't come after you Chris"
Xantcha exclaims, "Gyre!"
Chris Rex asks, "this imaginary dude?"
(Xantcha smiles.)
Crippler says, "hmm"
Crippler says, "juicy stuff"
Chris Rex ponders, "lol"
Chris Rex says, "seeee"
Chris Rex says, "good for the press"
(Crippler feels like Springer)
(Chris Rex is a walking gossip column target)
Chris Rex asks, "know how I stay out of trouble Crip?"
Chris Rex says, "I stay away from the ladies"
Xantcha says, "I doubt is is possible for you Chris"
Crippler asks, "but you deny any rumors of a affair?"
Chris Rex asks, "why whatever do you mean?"
Chris Rex asks, "well which affair?"
(Chris Rex loves the ladies)
Crippler says, "not you Rex"
Crippler says, "no one cares about you"
Crippler says, "Xantcha"
Chris Rex ponders, "lol"
Xantcha says, "I have always been faithful to my husband."
Crippler asks, "and what if you never see him again?"
Chris Rex says, "snifff"
(Xantcha sighs.)
Crippler asks, "how long will you wait?"
Xantcha says, "I know he is still around."
Crippler says, "that's good"
Xantcha says, "I am used to waiting."

Xantcha....lonely Sylvan babe ...or mistress?
Chris Rex.... Friendly guy......or dangerous stalker?

I guess we will have to wait to see what develops with these two.  And
remember, only get naked at the hospital under doctor's orders, we are
trying to keep the place sterile.

Crippler

#####
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The Northern Hospital (in the NW Forest safe cave) is increasingly
staffed with healers as well.

#####
ELECTION RESULTS

#145: Should spontaneous combustion be legal in town?
17 (25%): Yes. If I want to burst into flames, I should have that
right!
8 (12%): Yes. Some races are highly combustable to begin with, and a
law against it would be unfair!
14 (21%): No. We don't need flaming exiles running around lighting each
other on fire!
5 (7%): No... er, yes... umm... what's spontaneous combustion?
9 (13%): None of the above
15 (22%): Abstain
Galadriel is now Clanning.
#146: The law against exile names being used for areas makes Lundar's
camp illegal, what should the new name be?
15 (22%): The Hidden Camp
1 (1%): Secret Area in east forest
3 (4%): The hidden lake side camp
7 (10%): West wood camp
36 (52%): None of the above
7 (10%): Abstain

#####
RECENT COURT RECORDS

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0539_345_02_55 on 75 Autumn, 539 at 3:58..."
Clerus says, "Astrid accused Tessa of taking stolen goods &
impersonating a Clan member..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 5 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0539_351_13_20 on 81 Autumn, 539 at 14:09..."
Clerus says, "Entoo accused Zaroff of Impeding the meeting with
Tenebrion..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 27 minutes in jail, 33c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0539_354_17_57 on 84 Autumn, 539 at 18:46..."
Clerus says, "Claynar accused Nyt'Shade of Restraining me during
negotiations and BKing me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_006_08_44 on 6 Winter, 540 at 9:16..."
Veer thinks, "Henryk fallen to a zerk."
Clerus says, "Mefin accused Natas of selling refined kudzu to
minors..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."

#####
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
FROM NOIVAD THE SYLVAN

Regarding Tyking II and the Sword of Souls,

Very interesting article. I can't think of anyone less ept to be
amoderating force in negoiations, however I can't think of an exile
with such an abiltiy that would agree to become a servant to a master
that keeps his aims secret.

One very interesting thing Tyking said was that even he sees a need for
a government. Tyking, for those not familiar with him, is a fairly
disruptive individual, and as such, I'm surprised he endorses the idea.
It's akin to a fox insisting that someone else guard the chicken coop,
since I think someone like him might wish there to be anarchy. From
this, my conclusion is that we should form a government.

Regarding Fishwrap poll #4 (Should Puddleby seek peace with
Tenebrion?):

We should seek peace, but not let it blind us from doing what is best
for Puddleby. If peace with Tenebrion and Puddleby's best interest can
co-exist, we would be foolish not to. However if they do not, then let
the war come.

> ELECTION RESULTS
> Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 74, 539, with 924
> eligible voters:
> #139: What is your opinion of Tenebrion based on events thus far?
> 12 (16%): He's Evil and no good can come of dealings with him
> 24 (31%): He's neither a force of good or evil, our dealing with him
> determine which he becomes.
> 7 (9%): His intentions are good, and we could benefit from a pact
> with him.
> 26 (34%): I am undecided on the matter of Tenebrion. Time will tell.
> 8 (10%): None of the above
> 0 (0%): Abstain

I am the one who posed the question above to gauge public opinion. I
see by the results that only a few think trying to deal with him
peacefully is a bad idea and 65% of the people are neutral. This adds
merit to efforts to continue negotiations.

Noivad the Sylvan

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing.
Publisher and Editor:  Paramedic
Roving reporters: Crippler, Althea

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover myrm
marmalade with it in the afternoon"
Issue #21:  Tyking II, Elenis Reyav
Circulation: 107

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

Your editor, working hard to produce this issue:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/parasleeping.gif>

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Thorstorm the Zo: <http://www.risingclaw.com/members/thorstorm.html>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.risingclaw.com/members/odesseus.html>
* Mac-arena the Zo: Macros! Maps! Darshak Conspiracy Theories! all at
CheaCrets
      - <http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO
      - <http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Money is missing from the bank's new Clan Accounts
      - Exiles angry
      - Bank management finds some missing funds
      - Fen Lorikeet is investigating and seeking to distribute the
recovered money
* Tyking II given Sword of Souls by Tenebrion
* New forum for discussing quests (current topic: Devil's Island)
      - <http://www.egroups.com/subscribe/ClanLordQuestTracker>
* Harvest Festival in Puddleby
      - <http://www.egroups.com/subscribe/puddlebyharvest>
* Fishwrap distribution moved to a new mailing list
      - Sign up today!
      - Fishwrap has a new banner and an updated, lengthy list of links
      - <http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>

brought to you by Norm:
* Bank account controversy
* Thuja, J'nder, and Elenis meet with Tenebrion
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
      - <http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

brought to you by Babajaga:
* McBain´s and Olie´s discovery of a new cavern on Devil's Island
* Massive spawn in Dark Chamber
* Results of the negotiation with Tenebrion
      - Mutual distrust continues
      - Tenebrion requests that exiles stop invading his lands
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
      - <http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is seeking some new contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
TYKING II AND THE SWORD OF SOULS

Fishwrap here presents this special breaking news interview with Tyking
II regarding his Sword of Souls and his partnership with Tenebrion.
Tyking II's first encounter with Tenebrion began when he fell near
Tenebrion's keep.

Paramedic asks, "Where did you originally fall?"
Tyking II says, "In the Demesne"
Tyking II says, "Outside the keep"
Paramedic asks, "ok, and you yelled for Tenebrion?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "what did he say when he saw you fallen?"
Tyking II says, "Nothing"
Tyking II says, "He just dragged me into the keep with his chain"
Tyking II says, "Then he said "Wait here for me""
Tyking II says, "He then brought me into a room bordering his study"
Tyking II says, "The room is split in half"
Tyking II says, "One half bordered the rest of the keep"
Tyking II says, "The other half bordered Tenebrion's study, but I
couldn't go over the wall"
Tyking II says, "Not really a wall, more of a fence"
Tyking II says, "Anyway, he instructed me to wait for him"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "I really had no choice, being fallen"
Tyking II says, "He then entered from his study"
Tyking II says, "He issued a challenge to me"
Tyking II says, "I had to depart, and return to that room alive"
Tyking II says, "He offered me his sword if I completed it'"
(Paramedic listens)
Tyking II says, "So, I found a party that was entering the keep"
Tyking II says, "I went with them, and once we were near the room, I
separated from them and ran into the "study""
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion came out"
Tyking II says, "He commended me and gave me his sword. Now, as
repayment, I am his servant."
Tyking II says, "I did not get this for free, as rumour suggests"
Paramedic asks, "Can you describe the sword?"
Tyking II says, "Ah yes"
Tyking II says, "I have a picture of it too"
Tyking II says, "It has a red/green handle"
Tyking II says, "An old silver blade"
Tyking II says, "And a screaming voice"
Paramedic asks, "it screams when you equip it, yes?"
(Tyking II): The soul of the Darshak enters the sword
Tyking II says, "Yes, it does"
Tyking II says, "If I equip it too much, the souls will escape"
Tyking II says, "Those are the souls trying to escape"
Tyking II says, "If the souls escape, the sword breaks"
Paramedic asks, "Tenebrion told you that?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic says, "Ahh"
Tyking II says, "He told me that after I was annoying everyone with the
screaming ;-)"
Tyking II says, "With his sunstone, that is"
Paramedic asks, "is it an effective weapon?"
Tyking II says, "Actually, it's not as powerful as I expected"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "so what does your service to Tenebrion involve?"
Tyking II says, "I have to keep him informed of events in Puddleby"
Tyking II says, "And inform him of treacheries"
Tyking II says, "I'm keeping a list of possible allies and enemies"
Tyking II says, "Also..."
Tyking II says, "I act as a sort of messenger"
Paramedic asks, "Are you comfortable with this? Is he a good person to
serve?"
Tyking II says, "Oh yes."
Tyking II says, "He is a great person"
Tyking II says, "Each time I've met him he has greeted me warmly"
Tyking II says, "It is the exiles that are being evil"
Tyking II says, "He never ventures into Puddleby anymore"
Paramedic asks, "So would you consider your loyalties more to him or to
Puddleby??"
Tyking II says, "Oooh"
Tyking II says, "I hate that question"
Paramedic asks, "tricky question?"
Tyking II says, "It's hard to determine"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion is a single person"
Tyking II says, "So it's easier to relate to his needs"
Paramedic says, "I can see that. you're in a rough spot"
Tyking II says, "But Puddleby is an anarchy, where things are always
changing"
Tyking II says, "The decisions of few affect many"
Tyking II says, "So..."
Tyking II says, "I'd have to say..."
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion"
Tyking II says, "But not that i'm hostile towards Puddleby"
Paramedic asks, "Do you expect to see him again soon?"
Tyking II says, "Yes, I do"
Tyking II says, "I might be able to join him for the meeting tomorrow"
Paramedic asks, "does he ever seem to leave his keep?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Tyking II says, "He left when he dragged me to his study, for one"
Tyking II says, "And, the first time I met him, he spoke to me from the
roof."
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
Paramedic asks, "so this has worked out well for you?"
Tyking II says, "Oh yes"
Tyking II says, "However"
Tyking II says, "I have recieved a lot of bk, mostly from jealous
people"
Paramedic asks, "Why do people hate Tenebrion so much, do you think?"
Tyking II says, "Because they have been attacked by his guards"
Tyking II says, "The reality, however, is that we intruded first"
Paramedic asks, "What does your clan think of your new master?"
Tyking II says, "I still don't know"
Tyking II says, "We meet tomorrow"
Tyking II says, "I think they will kick me out"
Paramedic asks, "really?"
Tyking II says, "I was allowed in for a week, then they would evaluate
my karma"
Paramedic says, "ah that might be a problem"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Tyking II says, "I'm fearing that"
Paramedic asks, "do you like the clan otherwise?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "So what does it feel like to be packing around a sword
with some of Elenis's soul in it?"
Tyking II says, "Well, Elenis sure isn't happy"
Paramedic asks, "he knows?"
Tyking II says, "Yes, he was in the party I was with during the
challenge"
Paramedic says, "oh I see"
Tyking II says, "He's denied it"
Paramedic asks, "he was not happy you got the sword?"
Tyking II says, "He said that wasn't the same sword"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Tyking II says, "Then he flipflopped"
Tyking II says, "And said it was the sword"
Paramedic says, "so there's some confusion there"
Tyking II says, "Now he's down to telling me i'm full of it"
Paramedic asks, "has anyone offered to buy the sword from you?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Tyking II says, "None are willing to pay for it, though"
Tyking II says, "Bigfat is trying to get me to give it to him"
Paramedic asks, "they offer too little?"
Tyking II says, "Yes, 0c"
Paramedic says, "that hardly seems fair"
Tyking II says, "Only two people have offered, though"
Tyking II says, "Tenebrion advised me against it"
Tyking II says, "He said I should keep it for my own use"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think would happen if you told Tenebrion
you are no longer interested in working for him?"
Tyking II says, "It would bring us into war"
Paramedic asks, "really?"
Tyking II says, "He'd probably try to kill me"
Tyking II says, "He gave me a unique sword"
Tyking II says, "Now all he has is a dagger"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think he hates the exiles in Puddleby?"
Tyking II says, "Some, yes."
Tyking II says, "For attacking him"
Tyking II says, "I don't think he's too pleased with Tarf"
Tyking II says, "But he hasn't mentioned names"
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of Tarf's deed?"
Tyking II says, "Absolutely despicable"
Tyking II says, "That was an innocent guard"
Tyking II says, "He did not attack anyone"
Tyking II says, "And Tarf killed him"
Tyking II says, "The guard can't depart"
Tyking II says, "His life is now over."
Tyking II says, "He might have had family"
Paramedic asks, "do you think in the future you will serve as
Tenebrion's emissary?"
Tyking II says, "Possibly"
Paramedic asks, "would you be willing?"
Tyking II says, "Yes yes yes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes"
Paramedic asks, "Do you spend time at Tenebrion's keep?"
Tyking II says, "Nope. It's too dangerous."
(Paramedic nods)
Tyking II says, "Too many guards"
Tyking II says, "And Knights"
Paramedic asks, "have these events changed your relationships with your
friends in Puddleby?"
Tyking II says, "I almost lost a friend, Kalle', because she thought I
had become just like Tenebrion."
Paramedic asks, "what did you tell her?"
Tyking II says, "She thought that Tenebrion was evil because her
husband said so"
Tyking II says, "I know otherwise"
Paramedic asks, "who is her husband?"
Tyking II says, "Lightbringer"
Paramedic asks, "did she change her mind?"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Tyking II says, "I convinced her that I was still a nice guy"
Tyking II says, "I hope Lightbringer shares the same view"
Tyking II says, "A lot of people are jealous"
Tyking II says, "And are criticizing me"
Paramedic asks, "so what do you see in the future for you and your new
sword and your new relationship with Tenebrion?"
Tyking II says, "I see pain, and death, and suffering, if we stay in
anarchy"
Paramedic asks, "you think we need a government?"
Tyking II says, "We need a government"
Tyking II says, "Yes"
Paramedic asks, "do you think Tenebrion wants to be that government?"
Tyking II says, "He didn't even know of us until we invaded"
Paramedic asks, "but now that he does...?"
Tyking II asks, "He doesn't attack our town, does he?"
Tyking II says, "Really, I can't speak for my master"
Paramedic says, "I see."
Tyking II says, "But in my opinion, no."
Paramedic says, "perhaps I can interview him sometime"
Tyking II says, "I will ask him."
Paramedic says, "excellent"
Tyking II says, "I have lots of messages to deliver to him"
(Paramedic makes some notes)
Paramedic says, "I think that's about all for now..."
Paramedic exclaims, "thanks for an excellent interview!"
Tyking II asks, "Could I add one last thing?"
Paramedic says, "sure"
Tyking II says, "I'm not given VIP treatment by the keep. I'm still
attacked by Tenebrion's minions."

FOLLOWUP INTERVIEW WITH ELENIS REYAV

Paramedic asks, "what is your position on the sword that has some of
your soul in it?"
(Elenis Reyav laughs.)
Elenis Reyav says, "That sword bit is a dupe..."
Paramedic says, "Well the sword itself seems real and unique"
Elenis Reyav says, "It looks like Tenebrion's blade..."
Elenis Reyav says, "But his sword never screamed..."
Elenis Reyav says, "And I am certain is a fake..."
Elenis Reyav says, "And from the way Tyking took to it so seriously.."
Elenis Reyav says, "I'll bet some magic has been placed on it..."
Paramedic says, "I don't understand"
Paramedic asks, "you don't think it came from Tenebrion at all?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Tenebrion did give it.."
Elenis Reyav says, "But it is not the same sword that Tenebrion used."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Elenis Reyav says, "The auras are different..."
Elenis Reyav says, "But he likely didn't expect me to remember that
during our... encounter."
Paramedic says, "hm"
Zeus says, "Elenis, you're just pissed because Tyking has your soul"
(Elenis Reyav laughs.)
Elenis Reyav says, "You're a funny fellow Zeus"
Elenis Reyav says, "For a self-proclaiming god who didn't believe in
souls..."
Elenis Reyav says, "You seem to suddenly know much of them."
(Elenis Reyav chuckles.)
(Zeus believes in what is relative to the conversation at the moment)
Zeus ponders, ": )"
(Zeus cracks himself up)
Elenis Reyav says, "That sword which Tyking possesses is enchanted to
squeal as it does..."
Kiki is no longer Clanning.
Elenis Reyav says, "However I believe it also may possess the ability
to control its wielder a bit."
Elenis Reyav says, "Tenebrion likely does have some control of Tyking
directly."
Zeus says, "i was under the impression that Tyking's sword killed you,
and everyone it kills, it takes their souls."
Malkor thinks, "Well before midnight."
Elenis Reyav says, "No - it does not"
Elenis Reyav says, "It merely screams when it hits a critter."
Elenis Reyav says, "It isn't a very strong weapon..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Unlike Tenebrion's..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Which took me down in a single blow."
Zeus says, "well Tenebrion is more powerful then Tyking"
Zeus says, "so Tenebrion wields it more deadly"
Elenis Reyav says, "The blade Tenebrion used never screamed."
Zeus says, "maybe you just didn't hear it scream cause you weren't
expecting him to use it"
Rieger says, "my chocolate bar screams sometimes"
Paramedic says, "Elenis, maybe Tenebrion already had it equipped. It
only screams when you equip it"
Elenis Reyav says, "No... I remember that *very* clearly..."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Elenis Reyav says, "I will never forget the exact times which
happened."

#####
THE FISHWRAP POLL

Closed question:
#2) Does Puddleby need a government?
* Yes
      14   46.86%
* No
     16   53.3%

Current question:
#3) What do you think about 'dews?
* They can be deadly, but have nothing to do with cloning or mind-
control
      9     42.86%
* They are an effective tool for Qual to control or clone the citizens
of Puddleby
     12     57.14%

New question:
#4) Should Puddleby seek peace with Tenebrion?
* Yes, we should seek peace.
* No to peace!
The poll is now open!

#####
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The Northern Hospital (in the NW Forest safe cave) is increasingly
staffed with healers as well.

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER
Fishwrap is proud to this installment of a new column by Charlos

The Thirst

First off I'd like to say that Puck has had me 86'ed from his damn bar!
I spent more coins in there than the witches on their skin-dye.  And
all because I had words with his knumbskull of a bartender.  At least I
found out what all the different folks are offered to drink:
Humans and Dorfs get Beer,
Zo get Blood Mead,
Thooms get Fish oil,
Fens get Catnip Brandy,
Sylvans get Whiskey, and
Halflings get Orgaberry Cider.
I think...<hic>

The Hunger

My Uncle Dizzle joined the Order of the White Elephant before the
Ripture Wars and was a contributing member up until the Great
Forgetting.  When I first joined the clan it was mainly consisting of
the same exiles from before the War.  Much time has passed, and much
has changed, although a few crucial elements remain. We are still
Healer strong, as has always been the case.  We are still very well-
suited towards rescues and have continued to excel in this regard.  We
are still very much a clan of equals.   However, we are not contented
with these alone. The Elephant has long kept its strength in check.
Finally, we have a test worthy of our commitment.  No more tests of one
exile and one obstacle to show how many sleepless nights we've wandered
in our hunger.  Instead, a test of might against a horde of Dwarves.
The Order of the White Elephant and The Dwarven Militia meet to do
battle in the Arena, <some day soon>.
The Championship of the Dun'ilsar is at stake!  Place your bets now!

Stale Candy

Give your stale candy to newbies! They won't know the difference.  How
would you feel if someone gave you candy, stale or not, when you were
fresh off the boat? Pretty damn good I venture.  But don't give em
liquor or beer, Kahn is already hassling me about the delinquents and
drunken idiots wandering town.

#####
ELECTION RESULTS

Results from the last ballot, closed Autumn 74, 539, with 924 eligible
voters:
#139: What is your opinion of Tenebrion based on events thus far?
12 (16%): He's Evil and no good can come of dealings with him
24 (31%): He's neither a force of good or evil, our dealing with him
determine which he becomes.
7 (9%): His intentions are good, and we could benefit from a pact with
him.
26 (34%): I am undecided on the matter of Tenebrion. Time will tell.
8 (10%): None of the above
0 (0%): Abstain
#140: Should Thuja be named 'Queen of Puddleby'?
9 (12%): YES! Thuja Rules!
9 (12%): No Lets just GK bomb her!
24 (31%): NO.  Why would Thuja want a title like that?
6 (8%): NO  Thuja is above such trival matters.
20 (26%): None of the above
9 (12%): Abstain
#141: Should dihydrogen monoxide, a fatal chemical compound, be banned
from Puddleby?
6 (8%): Yes, Dihydrogen Monoxide is dumped into our lakes after it is
used in the production of nuclear waste!
3 (4%): Yes, I don't want my children anywhere near dihydrogen
monoxide!
24 (33%): No, I like living in a dangerous world where I have to avoid
toxic chemical compounds or die.
21 (29%): None of the above
18 (25%): Abstain
#142: Do you want to have a Puddleby District Attorney?
27 (37%): Yes
40 (55%): No
3 (4%): None of the above
3 (4%): Abstain
#143: Do you want the bakery to open?
29 (40%): A. Yes, I love Donuts!
5 (7%): B. No, I'm on a diet.
6 (8%): C. Who cares! It's just a way to waste my coins!
26 (36%): D. Yes I wish Joe would stop eating donuts, and let us have
some!
3 (4%): None of the above
3 (4%): Abstain
#144: Should Devil's Isle be changed back to Fire Island?
31 (44%): Yes!  A devil is an ooc concept.
13 (18%): No!  I like Devil's Island better!
14 (20%): Who cares what it's called?  That island is lame!
9 (13%): None of the above
4 (6%): Abstain

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing.
Publisher and Editor:  Paramedic
Roving reporters: Crippler, Althea

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

Enter your vote today!  Check out the new poll for the fishwrapmagazine
group:


Should Puddleby seek peace with
Tenebrion?


   o Yes, we should seek peace.
   o No to peace!


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Thanks!