FISHWRAP MAGAZINE Issue #53: "Roll the Dice" [March 13, 2003] ##### IN THIS ISSUE * Odesseus Interviews Sabriel * Lirr Asks Exiles About Gambling * "A Scribe's Tale" by Fundin ##### SPONSORS This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following sponsors: * Antiscian Clan http://www.iblitzit.com/clanlord.php * Clan Pogue Mahone http://www.poguemahone.org/ * Clan Rising Claw http://www.risingclaw.com/ * Modest, for Clan Blue Team * Aneirin, for the Order of Akara http://www.landarr.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/akara/ * Frucesca Announcing Dr. Frucy's Psychiatric Practice! Consultations by appointment only; all patients welcome! * The Order of the Golden Maha http://www.guildcraftfurniture.com/ogm/ * Sor, for Sun Dragon Clan http://www.sundragonclan.com/ ##### THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS "TMN: Thoom News You Can Use" Unsuccessful FMOCR Ruen on ELF Meeting Azriel and the Wall of Noids The Equip it Right Storm - Chaos Storm #276 ELF in Melabrion's Mines DFU Expands "This Is Gonna Hurt" Thoom Council Gathers Hor vs. Undine Slime Strikes Puddleby for more information on the above stories, see TMN at: http://www.thoomcare.com/ ##### THOOM WITH A VIEW BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR New Journals Here's a list of some of the newer exile journals: Feauial http://feauial.puddleby.info/ Lirr http://lirr.puddleby.info/journal.html Opxe http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~chris.allum/ Poesy http://www.donaldsonworkshop.com/journal/Poesy/ Ruen http://ruen.puddleby.info/journal/journal.html ##### INTERVIEW WITH SABRIEL BY ODESSEUS Odesseus says, "Okie, I'm going to ask you a few questions" (Sabriel nods) Odesseus says, "I'll try and keep em to the point, and you can answer them however you want" (Odesseus smiles) (Sabriel smiles) Sabriel is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan. She is holding a moonstone and a wooden shield, and she is wearing a sunstone, a shiny medallion, a sylphstone ring, what looks like a closed locket, a healer's shirt, a second-circle healer's skirt, a pair of shoes and a pair of pearl earrings. Odesseus asks, "Okie... how long have you been in the Lok'Grotons?" Sabriel says, "Well, I was exiled.." (Sabriel smiles) (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "I don't know how long ago.." Sabriel says, "A little while though" (Odesseus scrawls on a piece of parchment) Sabriel says, "12-14 zodiacs maybe" Odesseus says, "Ah.." Odesseus asks, "Why were you exiled?" Sabriel says, "=/" Sabriel says, "Well..." Sabriel says, "I ran a bakery back there" (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "Somebody, I don't know who" (Odesseus scribbles some more on the parchment) Sabriel exclaims, "changed my berries for rotten ones!" Odesseus exclaims, "Oh, no!" Odesseus says, ":"<" Sabriel says, "Yeah" Odesseus asks, "Then what happened?" Sabriel says, "7 people got very very ill" Sabriel says, "1 died... =/" Sabriel says, "I was exiled without trial" Odesseus says, "Oh, my! terrible" Sabriel says, "As harsh as it sounds..." (Odesseus writes some more) Sabriel says, "I am almost pleased that it happened" Odesseus asks, "Umm hmm?" Sabriel says, "Not for the poor person" Odesseus asks, "Why is that?" Sabriel says, "But for the new life I have here" Odesseus says, "Oh, I see" (Sabriel looks sad) Odesseus asks, "So, tell me about how things have been for you here?" (Sabriel smiles) Sabriel says, "Very well" (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "I have found that 'most' exiles are very kind and giving" Odesseus says, "Ah, good, good" (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus asks, "But not all?" Sabriel says, "No..." (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "As in all places, some people have to make things..." (Odesseus scrawls on the parchment) Sabriel says, "harder." Sabriel exclaims, "but on the whole I have found the unlikely truth that most exiled people are very kind!" (Odesseus nods) Odesseus says, "Yes, true" Odesseus says, "Ok..." Odesseus asks, "What has been the best thing to happen to you since coming here?" Sabriel says, "Oh..." (Odesseus smiles) Sabriel says, "Well...when I passed 2nd...I was amazed at people congratulating me" (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus asks, "Ha, really?" Sabriel says, "That has been a highpoint." (Odesseus smiles) Odesseus asks, "Any exceptional adventures?" Sabriel says, "No, well, not any exceptionally good ones..." Odesseus says, "Ok, fun ones for you" (Sabriel smiles) Sabriel says, "Yes, I have had many fun adventures" Odesseus asks, "Any in particular?" Sabriel says, "I enjoy luring in the undine hut..." Odesseus says, "Ah..." Sabriel says, "I do tend to get everyone killed though =D" Odesseus says, "Fun place..." Odesseus exclaims, "Heh!" Sabriel says, "which is the high point" (Odesseus laughs) Sabriel says, "My friends are used to it.." (Odesseus grins) Sabriel says, "but a few people who are kind enough to brick for us.." Sabriel says, "have not been amused" (Odesseus chuckles) Odesseus says, "Some people are just too serious." (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus asks, "How do you like being a healer?" (Sabriel smiles) Sabriel says, "I love it" (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "I enjoy helping others" Sabriel says, "I give clothes and stuff to exiles newer then me =)" Sabriel says, "Healing lets me do this to everyone =)" Odesseus exclaims, "That's very nice!" Odesseus asks, "If there was one thing you could tell a new exile, what would it be?" Sabriel says, "where the rat towers are =D" (Odesseus chuckles) Odesseus asks, "How about older exiles?" Sabriel says, "No, bad example" Odesseus says, "OK, new exiles first then" Sabriel says, "Well.." Sabriel says, "Something about how alone you are much less then you are with others" (Odesseus nods) Sabriel says, "We all depend on others to get us through life" Odesseus says, "Ah, true" Odesseus asks, "and older exiles?" Sabriel says, "Maybe the same thing" (Odesseus chuckles) Sabriel says, "I think it is the most important thing in this world" Sabriel says, "Other then having fun =)" (Odesseus nods and writes that down) Odesseus says, "OK, in keeping with TMN tradition..." Odesseus says, "You get to ask the interviewer one question." Sabriel says, "...." (Odesseus smiles) Sabriel says, "er..." Odesseus says, "anything" Sabriel asks, "How about... What you would tell a new exile?" Odesseus exclaims, "oh, heh... good question!" (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus says, "Well, ummm..." Odesseus says, "To not be afraid to ask help of others..." (Sabriel nods) Odesseus exclaims, "And to get into trouble a lot!" Sabriel says, "I'll keep that in mind =)" (Odesseus grins toothily) (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus exclaims, "So that old, grey furred fens can come rescue you!" (Sabriel smiles) Odesseus says, "Thanks Sabriel, for taking time to talk to me..." ##### ADVERTISEMENT Got Mendin', Inc.: Clothing repair by Serra Lorne and Zero-X Ripped? Torn? Colors Fadin'? Call on 'Got Mendin', Inc. for all your mendin' needs. Free quotes from Serra Lorne or Zero-X in all languages! Serra Lorne is a Dwarf, is female, is an exile, and is wearing the symbol of the Dwarven Militia. She is holding a dagger and a sewing kit, and she is wearing a sunstone, a shirt and a pair of pants. (got mendin?™ bakin' and brewin' donations accepted, too!) ##### WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT "Announcing my wedding with Fundin and itornade at day 64 of summer 9:34 pm (OOC 23 March, 3 pm EST). "Busses" to the party meet at East Gate. All exiles invited; if you are or know a priest please contact us! Frucesca" ##### THOOM ON THE STREET LIRR ASKS ABOUT GAMBLING Lundar thinks to you, "Yei?" (Lirr smiles.) Lirr asks, "Thanks. I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Lundar says, "Sure" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Lundar ponders, "Eep, gambling!" (Lirr smiles innocently) Lundar says, "Gambling is bad for your wallet" Lirr asks, "Oh? So you don't?" Lundar says, "I didn't say that :)" (Lirr smiles.) Lundar says, "If I had to pick one, I'd say blackjack is the most addicting" (Lirr nods!!!) (Lundar shivers.) Lirr exclaims, "Thanks on behalf of Fishwrap's readers!" Lundar says, "nai'tonde" Lirr says, "Insanelife ...?" Insanelife says, "Lirr: blackjack" (Lirr nods) (Insanelife visits the bank) Lirr exclaims, "Thanks Insanelife, on behalf of Fishwrap readers!" Lirr says, "Boris, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Boris says, "sure" (Lirr smiles.) Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Boris says, "Unequip weapon and run sandbar in north KI waters is my favorite." Lirr asks, "Any other forms, Boris?" Boris says, "uummm, betting in the Coliseum can be fun as well" Lirr asks, "Asren, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Asren says, "sure" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Asren says, "Blackjack all the way, but I do like some slots sometimes" (Lirr nods) Lirr asks, "Which slots?" Asren says, "cheap one with cigars" (Lirr grins.) Asren blows a giant cloud of smoke into the air. Asren says, "I like the dealers in the back though" Lirr asks, "Basement?" Asren says, "yeah" (Lirr nods) Lirr says, "The free booze is nice" (Asren grins) Lirr asks, "Catlin and Twilth, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Catlin exclaims, "Sure!" Twilth says, "Alright." (Lirr smiles.) Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Asren ponders, "speakin' o'gamblin!" Twilth says, "Blackjack. I never win anything in raffle." Catlin says, "I like the Coliseum" (Lirr nods.) Lirr asks, "Where're the best rewards to be had?" Catlin says, "Haven't spent much time at the gambling house" Twilth says, "Probably the Golden Butterfly. I hear you can get chains as rewards." Twilth says, "And such..." Catlin says, "The Coliseum and the raffle is the extent of my gambling" Lirr asks, "Wangah Rah, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Wangah Rah says in Thoom, "Please do" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" (Wangah Rah looks around nervously) Wangah Rah exclaims in Thoom, "I've always been partial to blackjack...but don't get me confused with those addicts!" Lirr says, "Of course not" Lirr asks, "Anything else?" Wangah Rah says in Thoom, "Really, I don't care much for any other form of losing my few and far between fortunes" (Lirr nods.) (Wangah Rah shakes his snow-globe and checks for orga.) Lirr exclaims, "Thanks Wangah Rah, on behalf of Fishwrap readers!" Wangah Rah exclaims in Thoom, "My pleasure!" Lirr asks, "Zorton, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Zorton says, "be happy to" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Feauial ponders, "a question to a mystic?" Zorton says, "hmm" Zorton says, "think 21 is my favorite" Lirr asks, "Anything else?" Zorton exclaims, "well the slots are nice but they really seemed to be rigged!" Zorton says, "I never win on them" Lirr says, "I certainly know what you mean." (Lirr grins.) Zorton says, "with 21 I have had some good days" Zorton says, "though ya gotta keep an eye on Jack" Zorton says, "he's got a shifty deal sometimes" Lirr exclaims, "Oh Jack is a nasty piece of work!" (Lirr lost a few coins, or more, earlier...) Foo says, "Heh." Lirr exclaims, "Thanks Zorton, on behalf of Fishwrap readers!" Murphy says, "I'm sure Jack deals from the bottom of the deck; those blackjacks come up far too often to be entirely random" Lirr says, "Interesting theory Murphy." Lirr asks, "Murphy, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Murphy says, "sure why not" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Murphy says, "hmm" Murphy says, "21 gives me the best chance of winning but roulette gives out the best prices" Murphy says, "I'd say that I enjoy 21 the most" Lirr asks, "Where do you play that? Upstairs or down?" Murphy says, "upstairs mostly" (Lirr nods) Lirr asks, "That Jack again, eh?" Murphy says, "downstairs is too far to walk to lose money" Lirr says, "But, there is free booze down there." Murphy says, "Yes, but if you start getting pissed you aren't thinking clearly" Lirr says, "True true." (Algernon wipes his nose on his sleeve.) Murphy says, "and if you aren't thinking clearly you make mistakes" (Lirr nods) Murphy says, "and if you make mistakes you lose money" Murphy says, "and losing money is bad" Lirr exclaims, "That's some piece of lucid logic!" Lirr asks, "Hoggle, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Hoggle asks, "hrm... is it about beer?" Lirr says, "Almost..." Hoggle says, "k" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Hoggle exclaims, "hrmph.. like I'm gonna give away my secrets!" Hoggle shows his chain to everyone. (Hoggle grins) (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Hoggle says, "I like the 50" Hoggle says, "Then again I've won like 2 chains, an axe, and 3 lumps of ore in the past 3 days.." Lirr exclaims, "Wow!" Hoggle says, "Then again.. I've also spent some money too.. ;)" Lirr asks, "Cards or Cubes or Bones anything you play?" Hoggle says, "I don't really venture too much further than the first room downstairs" Hoggle says, "I like to gamble and be done with it.." Hoggle says, "Some of those other games you have to keep on going" Hoggle says, "Umm.. the rolling dice one" Hoggle says, "I want a poker table" Lirr says, "That'd be nice" Hoggle says, "or roulette wheel" Mjollnir says, "that'd be great, Hoggle" Mjollnir says, "I'd like to set up a national lottery" Lirr asks, "Squirrel, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" (Squirrel raises an eyebrow) Squirrel says, "yar" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Squirrel exclaims, "oooh oooh... gamblin!" (Lirr smiles.) Squirrel says, "squirrel wuzza big gambler bak inda day" Squirrel says, "hrmf... slot siz fun..." (Lirr nods.) Squirrel says, "but der ferda stoopid folks" Squirrel says, "ain't gots no odds" Squirrel says, "an da dice game iz okay... but datsa scam" Squirrel says, "wud afta blakjak" Lirr exclaims, "Ah!" Squirrel says, "jack izza grade a scammer" Squirrel says, "squirrel always envied dat" (Squirrel nods to herself) Lirr asks, "MeRoka, Dorkhor, Yosaku, Garp, and Florine, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" (MeRoka shrugs.) (Yosaku nods) Dorkhor says, "sure" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" (Lirr smiles.) MeRoka says, "hunting in rock-filled areas" Florine says, "dunno" MeRoka says, "Trying to tag something that one-hits me." Garp says, "Jack's in the casino :)" Yosaku says, "trying to hit a landdew with 50 atkus" MeRoka says, "Nah, that's pure luck" (Yosaku chuckles) Lirr asks, "Coliseum at all?" (MeRoka shakes her head.) MeRoka says, "I prefer gambling with games of skill/chance." Dorkhor says, "been ages since I last went there" (Lirr nods) Garp says, "I made some coins at it though" Garp says, "beat 1k earlier" Garp says, "and won" Lirr asks, "At Jack's table, Garp?" (Garp nods) Lirr exclaims, "Nice!" Lirr asks, "Any other opinions?" Garp says, "I spent nearly 3k on the 100c table down below, and it's a rip-off, we need better returns from the casino" Lirr exclaims, "Yikes, Garp!" Lirr asks, "Naferu, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Naferu says, "okie doke" (Lirr smiles.) Lirr says, "Thanks." Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Vizer thinks to you, "Boneyard!" Naferu says, "they all are evil" Lirr asks, "Evil?" Naferu says, "and take my money" (Lirr nods.) Naferu says, "so I enjoy them as much as having my teeth pulled" Aravir says, "hello" Lirr asks, "Aravir, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Aravir says, "Feel free" (Lirr smiles.) Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Aravir ponders, "Hmm" Aravir says, "I guess I'd have to say Skea roulette" Lirr asks, "Any others?" (Lirr smiles.) Aravir says, "well, I occasionally give this one a try..." Aravir shows his chain to you. (Lirr nods) * Aravir recovers the Large Vermine fur, worth 1c. Your share is 1c. Aravir ponders, "Lirr wins 1c that time!" (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Aravir says, "ouch" Lirr says, "'lo McBain." McBain says, "Heya" Lirr asks, "McBain, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" McBain says, "Sure" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" McBain exclaims, "Betting on Sylvan cat fights!" (Lirr snickers) Lirr asks, "Any others?" McBain says, "My favorite gambling is betting on the fights in the arena" (Lirr nods.) WormTounge asks, "Not the coliseum?" (Bones Thooms.) Bones says, "howdy McBain" McBain says, "Uh, yes the coliseum" (Lirr grins.) McBain says, "Heya Bones" Bones asks, "ah, you are a reporter now Lirr?" Lirr exclaims, "Yes!" McBain ponders, "course the coliseum is ruined now that you have to bring monsters in" Lirr asks, "Care to comment on gambling, Bones?" McBain says, "Bones likes betting on sylvan cat fights too" Lirr asks, "Really Bones?" Bones says, "yes" (Lirr nods.) Bones says, "the sylvans, they do fight well" Lirr asks, "What about cards?" Bones says, "only Thoom games" Bones says, "they don't have any of those in the casino" (Lirr nods.) Lirr asks, "Any other forms of gambling you like, Bones?" Bones asks, "ah, gambling?" Bones says, "no, I don't gamble much" Lirr exclaims, "Greetings Althea!" Althea says in Thoom, "hello Lirr" (Althea smiles) (Lirr smiles.) Lirr asks, "Althea, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Althea says, "certainly" Tigger ponders, "Run Althea!" (Lirr smiles and nods.) Althea asks, "what may I do for you?" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Althea says, "oh..." Luminary ponders, "Uh oh. Roaming Thoom interrogations!" (Lirr grins.) Station ponders, "Blackjack and 50 and 100c slots" Althea says, "sorry, I"m afraid I don't gamble much" Althea says, "but occasionally..." Althea says, "I've played blackjack" Lirr asks, "Yes...?" Althea says, "I suppose that would be my favorite..." Lirr asks, "And betting in the Coli?" Althea says, "oh that.. certainly" Althea says, "yes that's fun too" (Lirr smiles.) Althea says, "that's actually the best" Althea says, "because you get to hang out with friends..." Althea says, "talk about the fighters..." Lirr asks, "Critter or exile betting?" Althea says, "I do both" (Lirr nods) Althea says, "sometimes in the same fight" (Althea smiles) (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Althea says, "it just depends" (Lirr nods.) Lirr whispers, "Luminary, may a roaming interrogator ask you a question, for Fishwrap Magazine?" Luminary whispers, "Uh oh...what did I do?" (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Luminary whispers, "Sure, Lirr. Fire away" Lirr whispers, "I am doing a lil survey for the Fishwrap... do you gamble?" Luminary whispers, "Not with money..." Lirr whispers, "Care to elaborate, for our readers?" Luminary whispers, "We exiles gamble with our health, every day. I think that's enough" (Lirr nods.) Luminary whispers, "Besides...I'm just a poor mystic." Luminary whispers, "Can you spare some boat fare?" (Luminary grins) Lirr whispers, "On behalf of Fishwrap's readers, thanks!" (Lirr hands Luminary an undisclosed amount.) Lirr asks, "Manx, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Manx exclaims, "certainly!" (Manx smiles.) Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Jack Vintian waits patiently. Manx exclaims, "The best game is cash slots!" (Lirr smiles.) Jack Vintian hands Michael his winnings. Lirr asks, "Anything else?" Manx says, "I think second..." (Lirr smiles and nods.) Manx says, "I like the 100 copper slot." Manx says, "because I won my horn there the first time." Lirr says, "Ah" Lirr exclaims, "Thanks Manx, on behalf of Fishwrap readers!" Manx exclaims, "Thank you!" (Manx smiles.) Manx ponders, "Thooms are so polite." (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Lirr exclaims, "heya!" Sor exclaims, "Hello!" Lirr asks, "Sor, I am doing a lil survey for Fishwrap Magazine. Can I ask you a question please?" Sor exclaims, "Of course!" (Sor glances at Jack in the corner) Lirr says, "Thank you! The setting here in the casino is perfect..." Sor says, "Hmm…" Lirr asks, "Which form of Puddlebean gambling do you enjoy the most? Which game is the best, in your opinion?" Sor says, "Well..." (Lirr nods and listens.) Sor says, "My favorite game would be blackjack, if I was still gambling" Lirr asks, "But you aren't?" Sor says, "I started with slots, but blackjack really made me rich" Sor exclaims, "oh no!" Sor exclaims, "I quitted!" Lirr says, "Ah…" (Sor shrugs) Lirr asks, "Boring?" Sor exclaims, "No!" (Lirr grins.) Sor exclaims, "Expensive!" Lirr says, "Aha." Sor says, "and …" Sor says, "bad for health" Lirr asks, "How do you mean?" Sor asks, "I can become an obsession you know?" Lirr exclaims, "It can??!" Sor says, "You only think about winning more," Sor says, "or making back what you lost" Lirr asks, "No, really?" (Sor nods) (Lirr shifts uneasily and smiles.) Sor says, "I hear there's even…" Sor says, "an association…" Sor says, "Anonymous Gamblers or something." Lirr says, "Maybe interested Fishwrap readers can find out more for themselves, if they want?" Sor exclaims, "Certainly!" Sor says, "But since I quitted, I don't bother" (Lirr nods.) Sor says, "However," Sor says, "I recommend to be careful with gambling" Lirr says, "Alright." Sor says, "The temptation of easy money…" Lirr asks, "How about betting in the Coli?" (Lirr nods.) Sor exclaims, "Ah, the Coliseum!" Lirr asks, "Yes?" Sor says, "unfortunately," Sor says, "it is no longer what it once was :(" Lirr asks, "How is that?" Sor says, "Almost nobody bets nowadays" Lirr says, "Ah..." Sor says, "Fighters only go there to practice for tests" Sor exclaims, "or to gain experience !" Sor exclaims, "Before it was a good place to win or lose fortunes!" (Lirr grins.) Lirr says, "Filthy business that, ranks." Sor exclaims, "Yes indeed!" (Lirr nods.) Sor exclaims, "Don't get me started on ranks!" (Sor grins) (Lirr chuckles thoomily.) Sor blows his horn. (Lirr grins.) Lirr says, "Well..." Lirr asks, "Anything else to add?" Sor says, "Hmm…" Sor says, "Not that I can think of." Lirr exclaims, "Thanks Sor, on behalf of Fishwrap readers!" (Sor bows) ##### A SCRIBE'S TALE BY FUNDIN Since being exiled to Puddleby in the year 539, I started to take a great interest in my surroundings, not least of which so that I could survive and find my way around safely. It didn't take long for me to meet many kind exiles, many who helped me to learn my trade and to gather my thoughts in these new and wonderful surroundings. After a short while, I started to keep records of my training, my kills and other such details. You see. I was a statistician back on the mainland, under the Emperor Mobius, until I became too thorough in my work. It revealed some of his more shady dealings, and before I knew it, I was on a boat to Puddleby with many others. I sometimes spend time on my own studying my books of stats, seeing how I should vary my training or how many times I've fallen to rats. It all provides a fascinating insight into my time in Puddleby. So, I've decided to share some snippets of my books with other exiles. Exiles: The first exile I met was Bulfar of the Dwarven Militia, who sadly isn't seen in the lands much anymore. He's still in the library, I've been assured. I hunted with many exiles in my early days, but I fondly remember Ugo Fuxfell and Yor showing me the Tree Giants Breeding Grounds for the first time (I was a five-day-old exile!). I can also picture with dread being shown round the Noid caverns by Glaurung, Tuzar, Goliat and Pookioko. That was a truly terrifying experience as my skill with an axe at that time was purely for trimming my beard. Critters Killed: Vermine 10343 Large vermine 8076 Rats 7908 Oompa Loompa 13 Knight of Ni 3 Falls: Bolok Cougar 53 Island Panther 48 Rats 6 Saturnus 3 Mujin-kun 3 Actually I've fallen 1379 times since I've been exiled, that's more times than I have ranks! Karma: Received 1859 Given 3030 Shares: I have shared a total of 1217 exiles in my time. And luckily for me, my spirit has only departed my body 12 times. Time Clanning: The most worrying thing I have discovered is that I have spent close to 1500 hours out of the library, that's 62 days of RL time!!! When I look through my tomes of information, I dread to think how many books would be used to detail the exiles from the Ripture Wars and before. The mind boggles as to how many vermine they will have killed. Now I've shared my tomes with you, I hope you've found some of it interesting. Long-time exiles, if you keep tomes of information yourselves, I would love to see them sometime. Perhaps you can share some snippets such as these. Just see me in town if you have anything for me. Fundin Statistician/Warrior/Pathfinder/Skinner and most importantly BEER drinker of the Dwarven Militia ##### Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media Network. Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/ You can subscribe there and also read all the back issues. Publisher and Editor: Paramedic Fishwrap is always looking for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic mail at the Puddleby Post Office (mailbox #1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com. Advertising rates for Fishwrap: Sponsorships: only 25 coins Full ads: only 50 coins