"The Daily Fishwrap: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover T'rool
jam with it in the afternoon"
Issue #18: K'Pyn, Tarf, Kojiro, Keemhan

Note: The Daily Fishwrap is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

Your editor, working hard to produce this issue:
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#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Daily Fishwrap is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Devil's Island
* The Dwarven Militia's Beer Brewing Contest
- <http://www.dwarvenmilitia.com/brewing/>
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#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tarf kills ambassador from Tenebrion in town square
- Exiles stunned at this violation of diplomatic immunity and
societal norms
- Tarf resigns as DA
- Prosecution of Tarf is expected shortly
- Elenis Reyav stabbed by Tenebrion in retribution for Tarf's act
- Tenebrion irked, Qual amused
* Rincewind has joined the ThoomCare Search and Rescue Team
* Papa Thoom has passed the fourth circle healer test
* T'roolkin again invade from the brambles
* Feast of Tsrrin approaching
* New catalog of exile knowledge available
- <http://www.puddleopedia.org>
* Fishwrap distribution moved to a new mailing list
- Sign up today!
- <http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>

brought to you by Norm:
* Full Moon Raid of OC coming soon
* Norm finds orgaberries
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
<http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

brought to you by Babajaga:
* Tenebrion and Virgil
* Morty and "The Fridge" in Tenebrion's Keep
* Morty smacks his lips
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
<http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga>

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH K'PYN THE THOOM
FOLLOWED BY AN IMPROMPTU ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION OF THE MURDER OF THE
AMBASSADOR

Paramedic says, "May I interview you for Fishwrap?"
K'Pyn says, "Hmm, I don't have much to offer that fine publication"
Haze says, "Oh don't be modest K'Pyn, you're a great candidate"
K'Pyn says, "sully its pages to have my words printed."
Paramedic says, "You're a longtime member of the community"
(K'Pyn blushes.)
(K'Pyn thooms softly.)
K'Pyn asks, "what's the interview like, sir?"
K'Pyn asks, "no personal questions right?"
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions (I get to ask followups)"
Paramedic says, "nothing personal"
K'Pyn says, "ah"
K'Pyn says, "I spose I could give it a whirl..."
Paramedic exclaims, "Excellent!"
Paramedic says, "Welcome to the Fishwrap interview, it's a real honor"
(K'Pyn lowers himself to the ground.)
Paramedic says, "to have a longtime member of the Puddleby community
with us today."
(K'Pyn waves to the crowd.)
Paramedic says, "1) Could you tell us a bit about what it's like to be
a Thoom fighter? So many of us are healers...."
K'Pyn says, "Well... I can say that the path of a fighter is harder
than I expected."
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "How so?"
K'Pyn says, "My Zo teachers of old would be proud though."
K'Pyn says, "Well..."
K'Pyn says, "we are sort of squishy"
(Paramedic listens)
K'Pyn says, "but my frame seems to be larger than average"
K'Pyn says, "that helped."
Rent-A-Hippie says, "you eat too much"
(Paramedic smiles)
Mr Pudding says, "thoom thoom thoom"
Aldynes says, "Thoom"
Paramedic asks, "Have quite an appetite?"
(K'Pyn nods.)
K'Pyn says, "quite..."
K'Pyn says, "my mother used to chastise me about it"
Koppi yells, "Malkor reports: Tarf is a cowardly DA who's afraid to
take on real criminals like the sunstone-stealing Phelps!"
Rent-A-Hippie says, "He hangs out with cookie boy Gurgi"
DarqMax says, "hehe"
K'Pyn says, "I hung out with the castle guard for more training and
food"
Paramedic asks, "Anything special about your path of training? What's
your secret to success?"
K'Pyn says, "hrm"
K'Pyn asks, "my secret?"
Paramedic asks, "Yes, what training strategies have you used?"
K'Pyn says, "diligent sacrifice to the trainers"
K'Pyn says, "The primary thing I focused on was threefold actually"
K'Pyn says, "I had to work with Atkus, Darkus and Balthus"
K'Pyn says, "they love me now... but that took a long time"
K'Pyn says, "our thoomish bodies need those to make up for our
weaknesses"
Paramedic asks, "have you found certain weaknesses and strengths for
thooms as fighters?"
Crippler yells, "Thoom!"
(Bones Thooms.)
K'Pyn says, "oh dear... mostly weakness"
Paramedic says, "Alas"
K'Pyn says, "our primary strength lies in our self-healing abilities"
K'Pyn says, "quite useful at times sir"
Paramedic says, "Our eyes on the sides of our head don't give us very
good depth perception"
K'Pyn says, "about that..."
K'Pyn says, "My eyes seem to be facing forward.. even if they are on
the side."
K'Pyn says, "the wider separation... well... I think that helps"
Paramedic asks, "peripheral vision?"
K'Pyn says, "I have noticed that I don't tend to be blind sided as
often as others"
Paramedic says, "That makes sense."
Paramedic asks, "2) What is your weapon of choice?"
K'Pyn says, "ahhh..."
K'Pyn says, "fair question sir..."
Koppi yells, "Paramedic reports: New Fishwrap Issue #17 now available:
http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine"
K'Pyn says, "Actually I tend to choose the weapon depending on the
enemy"
Paramedic exclaims, "interesting!"
K'Pyn says, "I fight most often these days with an Axe"
(Mr Pudding): Mr Pudding puts his SS in his snout
Paramedic says, "I used to use an axe, pre-Ripture, myself"
K'Pyn says, "however, in a vermine storm, I quickly switch to a
boomerang"
Paramedic asks, "oh really?"
(K'Pyn nods.)
K'Pyn says, "similarly for those pesky Giant Plankton"
Aldynes ponders, "ZzZzz"
(K'Pyn sighs.)
Simple says, "thoom"
K'Pyn says, "for quick kills I find my Oak Basher to be indispensible."
Paramedic asks, "You are not much for a sword?"
K'Pyn says, "naw"
K'Pyn says, "thats not much of a weapon these days"
K'Pyn says, "I've not even removed my dagger from its sheath in years."
Paramedic asks, "Can you tell our readers a bit more about the Oak
Basher? Good on tree giants?"
(Bones is comfortable with all the thooms around.)
K'Pyn says, "not really sir."
K'Pyn says, "seems by the name it might be.."
Paramedic says, "yes, you'd think so"
K'Pyn says, "the Oak Basher though, does a lot more damage than other
weapons."
Paramedic asks, "does it drain more balance?"
K'Pyn says, "I've not noticed that sir."
Paramedic says, "Sounds useful"
K'Pyn says, "I have noticed that I miss a bit more with it than with my
Axe."
Paramedic says, "hmm, not quite as accurate..."
Deadmeat says, "Wow, lookit all the thooms"
Michael asks, "how did you say the regia was?"
K'Pyn says, "so I tend to use it in situations when I am surrounded by
things I need to kill quickly .. like Feral.. or Orga"
(K'Pyn nods.)
K'Pyn says, "fine weapon if you have the Atkus training"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "Speaking of those beasts..."
Paramedic asks, "3) what beast do you dread the most?"
(K'Pyn thinks.)
K'Pyn says, "Thats a hard one sir..."
Paramedic says, "you can name more than one"
K'Pyn says, "I truly fear any beast I cannot best in fair single
combat."
K'Pyn says, "Some Orga, some 'noths..."
K'Pyn says, "the Xar for example, or Hel.."
Paramedic says, "Those are very nasty."
K'Pyn says, "I've not met a Hatred, though what I've heard frightens
me."
(K'Pyn nods.)
K'Pyn says, "they certainly can be sir."
Paramedic asks, "4) What are your favorite hunting grounds these days?"
He is holding a purse and a wooden shield.
(K'Pyn thinks hard.)
K'Pyn says, "Dal'Noth.. but I believe that might change if I ever make
it past Wisher's Gate."
K'Pyn says, "No other hunting grounds are left for me really...."
Paramedic asks, "You prefer Dal'noth because it's a greater challenge?"
K'Pyn says, "to challenge me..."
(K'Pyn nods.)
Paramedic says, "ah yes"
(K'Pyn sighs.)
K'Pyn says, "As the trail blazers find more places, I suppose that too
might change."
Paramedic asks, "5) Could you tell us a bit about your clan? How are
things going for the Brotherhood?"
K'Pyn is a Thoom, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol of
Brotherhood of Independents.
He is holding a purse and a wooden shield.
K'Pyn says, "oh dear..."
K'Pyn says, "I am a member of a proud clan..."
Paramedic asks, "hm?"
(Paramedic listens)
K'Pyn says, "But there isn't much I can tell you about them..."
K'Pyn says, "They are mostly people who I can hunt with..."
K'Pyn says, "their philosophy on the other hand..."
K'Pyn says, "well. that part I just don't see."
Paramedic asks, "So the clan is a pretty loose organization?"
K'Pyn says, "Marcus Antonius is the "leader" if there is one..."
K'Pyn says, "yes.. loose."
K'Pyn says, "that part is not generally to my liking"
Paramedic asks, "You'd like something more?"
Koppi yells, "Gimli reports: We want your beer! For details see http://
www.dwarvenmilitia.com/brewing/"
K'Pyn says, "I'd prefer a more rigid structure..."
K'Pyn says, "more exciting clan hunts"
(K'Pyn shrugs.)
Paramedic asks, "Have you ever considered another clan?"
K'Pyn says, "Not really... I'm not one to hop around disloyally."
Paramedic asks, "Were you to change clans, which would you consider?"
Paramedic says, "I realize you're not likely to do so...."
K'Pyn says, "If I had my pick.. well.."
Paramedic says, "yes exactly..."
K'Pyn says, "I'd have to say Pogue Mahone... mostly because of their
fantastic professional hunters."
Paramedic says, "They are a tightly-knit group during a hunt"
(K'Pyn nods.)
K'Pyn says, "very"
Paramedic says, "I find that admirable as well."
K'Pyn says, "something I've admired from my childhood days."
(Rael the Squonk picks his nose deeply.)
K'Pyn says, "found it fascinating."
Rael the Squonk says, "Ahhh...."

TARF: HERO OR NEW-AGE TOWN SNERT?

Paramedic asks, "Let me ask you an extra 6) question: what is your
thought on the assassination by Tarf today of Tenebrion's ambassador to
Puddleby?"
(K'Pyn sighs.)
(Paramedic listens)
K'Pyn says, "While I do not like Tenebrion at ALL...."
K'Pyn says, "I find him dishonorable and contemptible..."
K'Pyn says, "I DO however, honor truce and ambassadors..."
Rael the Squonk yells, "No one expects the Thoomish Inquisition!"
K'Pyn says, "I cannot abide by such as Tarf's actions."
Michael says, "I don't know what Tarf was thinking"
K'Pyn says, "to kill an ambassador is reprehensible..."
Paramedic says, "What do you think this will mean for Tarf? He seems to
be finished as a DA"
Behr ponders, "Tarf. thinking. in the same sentence, no less"
K'Pyn says, "I've certainly decided as much sir."
Paramedic asks, "Will Tarf be prosecuted?"
K'Pyn says, "most likely."
K'Pyn says, "as he should be."
Paramedic says, "Some say Tarf went power mad....and took action when
people refused to folow him"
Koppi yells, "Althea reports: Tarf kills Tenebrion's diplomat, risking
Elenis's life. Let's bring him to justice!"
Paramedic says, "Some say Tarf went power mad....and took action when
people refused to follow him"
K'Pyn says, "I think he might have been interested in protecting
Puddleby.."
Elenis Reyav says, "But I do know that he killed the representative..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Knowing that I would be slain if he did so."
K'Pyn says, "but to kill an ambassador is just wrong..."
Bones says, "Thoom"
Paramedic says, "It's quite a surprise to see one of Puddleby's best
and brightest fall so hard"
K'Pyn says, "No one can ever sue for peace as long as this is allowed
to continue."
(K'Pyn nods.)
Elenis Reyav ponders, "'specially when one of your own will pay the
consequences."
K'Pyn says, "I was surprised too"
(Rael the Squonk wishes he had been here.)
Paramedic asks, "Elenis, what are your thoughts on the Tarf situation?"
K'Pyn asks, "He did seem almost mad, didn't he?"
Paramedic says, "Yes"
Paramedic says, "he did"
Elenis Reyav says, "I know that what he did caused Tenebrion to draw
his silver blade and kill me."
Rael the Squonk says, "Dammit"
Rael the Squonk says, "Everything good happens when I am in the
library."
(Leonin nods)
Elenis Reyav says, "Something that I don't think Tenebrion would have
done under many other circumstances."
Paramedic says, "It was a real shock"
Ugh says, "good way to start a war"
(K'Pyn nods.)
Michael thinks, "by getting his head on a pike"
Bones asks, "were you rescued, elenis?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Aye..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Thanks to the quick thinking of Tonoto"
Paramedic asks, "Elenis, what are the chances of further negotiations
with Tenebrion?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Para, I can't quite say..."
Elenis Reyav says, "But I think we still have a decent chance."
Elenis Reyav says, "Tenebrion is more than doing his part to try for
peace."
Deadmeat thinks, "If we wait for this mob to agree, we'll never get
anywhere"
Paramedic asks, "is this as much of a black day for Puddleby diplomacy
as I fear?"
Elenis Reyav says, "It is a black day indeed..."
K'Pyn says, "diplomacy seems to be oxymoronic here..."
Elenis Reyav asks, "How so K'Pyn?"
Ugh says, "Tenebrion wants to train with virgil, he hasn't given up
yet"
Rael the Squonk says, "Perhaps we should locate Fenry Kissinger to
mediate a peace."
Paramedic says, "Who would have thought our honorable DA would kill an
amabassador in cold blood??"
(Elenis Reyav nods.)
K'Pyn says, "well... I mean the town and diplomacy...."
Elenis Reyav says, "What troubles me most..."
K'Pyn says, "puddlebean diplomacy"
Elenis Reyav says, "Is that I had *spoken* to Tarf beforehand..."
Bones says, "Thoomy Carter could help too"
Elenis Reyav says, "I had *asked* him to try and keep the peace..."
(Paramedic listens)
Rael the Squonk says, "Yes, Thoomy Carter"
Elenis Reyav says, "He had asked me if I would reveal anything of
Virgil..."
Elenis Reyav says, "And I told him I had *no* intentions of doing so."
K'Pyn says, "That is not in your power anyway."
K'Pyn says, "regardless of your intention"
Elenis Reyav says, "He then said that he would do his best to keep the
peace."
Elenis Reyav says, "He had specifically told me he would try to keep
the peace."
Elenis Reyav says, "And then he himself broke it."
Tuan says, "dat's why he flipped out"
Koppi yells, "Brae reports: Support the Puddleby Encyclopedia Project!
http://www.puddleopedia.org"
Elenis Reyav says, "Hmm..."
Elenis Reyav says, "That is interesting news Tuan..."
Tuan says, "so da ambassador not able ta tell Tenebrain where Virgil
be"
Paramedic asks, "makes you wonder if others will be willing to send
ambassadors to Puddleby in the future, doesn't it?"
Elenis Reyav says, "Aye Para..."
Rael the Squonk asks, "People told the ambassador where to find Virgil,
so Tarf kill him to keep him from telling Ten?"
(K'Pyn nods.)
Elenis Reyav says, "What Tarf did..."
Elenis Reyav says, "Still was still far too dangerous..."
K'Pyn says, "the sunstone channel was full of chatter as to Virgil's
whereabouts."
Paramedic says, "Indeed. it was no secret"
Ugh says, "as long as we raid his keep and kill his messengers, he'll
never be an ally"
Elenis Reyav says, "I think it is quite obvious..."
K'Pyn says, "killing the ambassador did nothing.. but enrage Tenebrion
further"
Elenis Reyav says, "We must learn to co-exist with Tenebrion..."
Tuan says, "ambassador personage seemed ta tink it were new news when
da crowd told im"
Elenis Reyav says, "If we can..."
Elenis Reyav says, "In time..."
K'Pyn says, "I'd rather run him through with my axe"
Elenis Reyav says, "I know you would K'Pyn..."
K'Pyn says, "put him out of our misery"
Ugh says, "Don't blame Tarf, he tried to protect the town's best
interest"
Elenis Reyav says, "Ugh... I would love to not be able to blame him..."
Ugh says, "whats done is done"
Elenis Reyav says, "But please... if you can understand..."
Paramedic says, "Killing ambassadors is a crime, Ugh"
(K'Pyn nods.)
Elenis Reyav says, "It was *my* head that was on that block..."
Rael the Squonk says, "Hmmm"
Ugh says, "I agree completely"
Elenis Reyav says, "Tarf was literally the one that killed me..."
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Ugh says, "But I dont believe Tarf was acting selfishly"
Elenis Reyav says, "It wasn't Tenebrion... it was Tarf."
K'Pyn says, "perhaps not, but certainly acted without long range
thinking"
Paramedic asks, "Is Tarf washed up as a public figure in Puddleby?"
Ugh says, "could have been diplomatic, ya"
(Elenis Reyav): You see the hole in the front of Elenis' shirt still
there.
(Bones nods.)
Thuja says, "Yes, I see.."
Paramedic exclaims, "Papa!"
K'Pyn ponders, "he should change that shirt."
Papa exclaims, "howdy doo!"
Papa exclaims, "I made 4th today!"
Paramedic asks, "Papa, can I have your thoughts on the Tarf situation
for Fishwrap?"
Papa exclaims, "boo ya!"
Papa asks, "Tarf?"
Paramedic says, "Indeed you did! Congratulations"
Papa says, "He's a quasi-atomical"
Papa says, "the new-age town snert"
Paramedic asks, "So you don't approve, Papa?"
Papa says, "absolutely not"
Paramedic asks, "Do you think Tarf will be prosecuted?"
Papa says, "I'm sure of it"
Jessie ponders, "wow I must have missed something, wonder what Tarf did
now?"
Papa says, "no one is above the law"
Kojiro says, "Tarf will, I suspect, be drawn and quartered."
Paramedic asks, "Really, Kojiro?"
Ugh says, "If there had been a referendum, he'd have followed it
perhaps"
Thirteenth Rat asks, "drawing and quartering sounds like fun... what's
the occasion?"
(Blitz smiles)
Kojiro says, "He randomly slew an ambassador"
K'Pyn says, "I don't think so Ugh.. he was pretty set... and everyone
was trying to keep him from the ambassador"
(Jessie smiles at the thought of a drawn and quartered Tarf)
Kojiro says, "I dont think anyone will look kindly on it"
Ugh says, "Gun dwarf diplomacy"
(Paramedic nods)
Thirteenth Rat says, "eh, you can never have too many enemies"
Azure says, "Uh.."
Kojiro says, "er"
Ugh says, "we draw'em like flies"
Kojiro says, "Well, yes."
Kojiro says, "Granted, I'd like to disembowel Tenebrion"
Kojiro says, "but"
Kojiro says, "I want stuff from him first"
Paramedic asks, "stuff?"
Kojiro says, "yeah"
K'Pyn asks, "stuff? like his lousy smythe?"
K'Pyn says, "I've met him"
Kojiro says, "you know, ranks, coins, magic doohickeys"
K'Pyn says, "he's lousy"
Paramedic exclaims, "K'Pyn, thanks for a great interview!"
(K'Pyn smiles.)

#####
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#####
SPECIAL REPORT: MURDER OF THE AMBASSADOR
TARF RESPONDS

Fishwrap Magazine has obtained the rights to publish Tarf's defense of
his actions, known henceforth as "The Tarfian Manifesto." Fishwrap has
also secured an exclusive interview with Tarf, which will follow the
manifesto.

The Tarfian Manifesto

"Firstly. I apologize for having to hit the library earlier...I had no
choice (ooc). I am not here to argue whether or not Tenebrion should
have knowledge of purgatory. Though, I do feel that it will be a grave
mistake to share such knowledge. Rather, I will defend my actions with
respect to the fundamentals of democracy. This town is OUR town. This
town is not any one exile's town. When a decision that affects the
whole town comes up, the whole town should be involved in the decision.
Such was not the case earlier. Rather, 1 or 2 exiles felt they should
make a decision for all of us...
"Despite my many pleas to wait until the issue was resolved by ballot.
The ballot is the only true way to make a decision by the people, for
the people. I wish things had been different earlier. I wish I wasn't
forced to kill that guard...But if I hadn't killed him, Tenebrion would
now be basking in the knowledge of purgatory. Had I not killed that
guard, a decision affecting many would have been made by one exile.
"Only Mobius himself would dare make a decision on behalf of so many
without authority. So, I ask of all of you. What kind of a society do
we want? Do we want the type of society in which 1 exile can force the
rest of us into public policy without consent? Or do we want the type
of society where EVERYBODY has a voice? Again, I opposed Tenebrion
gaining knowledge of purgatory. Some agree, some disagree. Would we
give such knowledge to the Darshak? To the Orga? Tenebrion's men
attacked town along side both... Yet still, there are those who wish
Tenebrion to gain such knowledge. I took the action that I did because
1 or 2 exiles were effectively acting on my behalf...and I was not
given a say in the matter; no discussion of consequences was had, and
many were not able to voice their opinions.
"If the exiles of Puddleby choose, by Ballot, to share the knowledge,
I will not stop it from happening. But to have such an action take
place without representation of the populace, an irreversable decision
mind you...Is something that I simply can not stand for. This is not an
empire; it is a FREE town. Don't let the actions of others subdue your
freedoms.
"I realise that not everybody supports the action that I took. But,
again, I reiterate that I had no choice. I was acting on behalf of
myself, and those who...were not around to voice their own opinions on
the matter; who were not apprised of the potential...consequences of
this action. A hasty decision on a matter that affects so many is, no
doubt, a poor one. Again, if that guard were allowed to go free, with
the knowledge of where Virgil lives...The decision would be
irreversible. Instead, we remain today practically where we did
yesterday...neither enemies, nor friends, of Tenebrion. The action I
took had short term consequences...the actions that a few who had the
audacity to speak for the town as a whole could have had long term
consequences.
"Where would we be today, if every darshak that came to town was given
access to our secrets, to our weapons? Surely, we would be in no
position to defend ourselves like we currently do quite well. Let the
exiles of Puddleby voice their opinions on this matter! Let there be
discussion among many! Let the benefits be known, as well as the
consequences. And then, let there be a vote. Without a vote, there is
no general consensus. Without a vote, there is no freedom.
"Personally, I envision a society in which we are all free, and have a
voice in the decisions that affect many. If you feel differently,
perhaps you should reconsider your choice to become an exile. Mobius
will be happy to take you back. I only hope that those who decide to
act without the consent of the populace of our fair town...are the
first ones to fall victim to that guard in purgatory. Nay, to the black
knight in purgatory.
"Do you not realise the potential danger here? How many of you
fighters in this room would be willing...willing to depart in order to
kill a black knight in purgatory. Surely us healers couldn't do it
alone! By taking the action that I did, I gave everybody a chance to
voice their opinions. I prevented a potential disaster from
occuring...the disaster being the disgrace of democracy. If the exiles
of Puddleby choose, by Ballot, to share the knowledge, I will not stop
it from happening. But to let this happen without representation of the
populace, an irreversable decision mind you...Is something that I
simply can not stand for. This is not an empire; it is a FREE town.
Don't let the actions of others subdue your freedoms. Let there be
democracy. Down with the Ascendency! Down with government that does not
allow its citizens to speak! Death to Mobius!"

Exclusive Fishwrap Interview with Tarf the Dwarf
by Crippler the Thoom

Crippler says, "A few short questions?"
Tarf says, "Ok"
Crippler says, "Tarf ....."
Tarf says, "I'm listenin'..."
Crippler says, "You say that no one or few exiles can decide for
us...."
Crippler says, "matters such as these"
Crippler says, "..."
Crippler says, "But you took it upon yourself.."
Crippler says, "to make a very important decision"
Crippler says, "for all of us"
Crippler says, "How do you respond?"
Tarf says, "Well, as I stated..."
Tarf says, "the decision I made did, in fact, have short term
consequences"
Tarf says, "that being souring relations with Tenebrion"
Tarf says, "however, that is not a permanent consequence"
Tarf says, "By contrast, giving Tenebrion the knowledge of purgatory"
Tarf says, "is an irreversible decision"
Tarf says, "with what I truly believe to have severe consequences."
Tarf says, "Had I not killed the guard"
Tarf says, "there would be no chance to reverse the decision"
Tarf says, "however, currently, there is such a chance"
Crippler says, "So you think that we can recover our relationship with
Tenebrion?"
Tarf says, "Absolutely"
Tarf says, "I remind you, sir"
Tarf says, "This is an individual who has already attacked our town"
Tarf says, "alongside the darshak and the orga."
Tarf says, "His goal is not peace with Puddleby, but rather to get
whatever he can from us"
Tarf says, "and I assert that the same can be said about those who gave
the emissary that knowledge earlier"
Tarf says, "furthermore..."
Tarf says, "I find it reprehensible that it is only I who am being held
accountable"
Tarf says, "for speaking on behalf of the town"
Tarf says, "When it was Outcast who had given the emissary the
knowledge"
Crippler asks, "Did you think about the hostage he had... Elenis Reyav?
Did you consider what would happen to him?"
Tarf says, "Absolutely I thought about Elenis."
Tarf says, "Elenis and I had spoken before this matter came up"
Tarf says, "he was warning of the coming of the emissary"
Tarf says, "I made it EXPLICITLY clear to him"
Tarf says, "that i was not opposing the emissary"
Tarf says, "but if knowledge of Virgil was discussed"
Tarf says, "I would take action"
Tarf says, "He assured me"
Tarf says, "and gave me his word, in fact"
Tarf says, "that no knowledge of Virgil would come about"
Tarf says, "but it did...unfortunately"
Tarf says, "thanks to Outcast and Sarmanikan"
Tarf says, "I was left with no choice"
Crippler says, "So he is ok with your actions? or is that personal?"
Tarf says, "Elenis and I have not spoken, but I do hope he
understands."
(Crippler nods)
Tarf says, "Also"
Tarf says, "I was happy to learn he was rescued less shortly after the
guard fell."
Crippler asks, "Why did you resign as DA?"
Tarf says, "heh"
Tarf says, "I've been meaning to do that for a while"
Tarf says, "It gets old"
Tarf says, "Going to the bathroom and not washing my hands suddenly
becomes a deplorable act of our corrupt DA"
Tarf says, "I hope that the person I hate most becomes the next DA <g>"
Crippler asks, "Why did you hide in the libary instead of facing the
court system which you supported for so long?"
Tarf says, "ahh"
Tarf says, "that was most unfortunate"
Tarf ponders, "and ooc too ;0/"
Tarf says, "I had...other worldly obligations"
(Crippler nods)
Tarf says, "I had gone to the library"
Tarf says, "then wanted to check the poll"
Tarf says, "to see if the Tenebrion issue was yet on the ballot"
Tarf says, "on my way to the ballot place, i saw the emissary"
Crippler asks, "Do you have any regrets?"
Tarf says, "I regret this whole situation happened. but given the
circumstances, i feel i did the right thing"
Tarf says, "The people of Puddleby now have a choice to decide"
Tarf says, "as a WHOLE"
Tarf says, "in a fair manner, whether or not they wish tenebrion to
gain the knowledge"
Crippler asks, "Do you expect to be sued, and will it be the case of
the century?"
(Tarf chuckles)
Tarf says, "I fully expect to be sued."
Tarf says, "And I will defend myslef in court with the same vigilance"
Tarf says, "I used to prosecute the snerts when I served as DA."
(Tarf takes note to remove his tatoo.)
Crippler asks, "Who do you recomend as new DA?"
Tarf says, "Heh. My worst enemy, whoever that is"
Crippler asks, "What is next for you, are you still gonna be active in
politics as much as before?"
Tarf says, "Probably not. My reputation is tainted enough as it is :)
Though, I will likely continue to sue when i see fit"
Tarf says, "but not as DA, rather as a mere exile"
Tarf says, "I am proud, btw, to have served as Puddleby's first
undisputed politician :)"
Crippler asks, "Any final words before we end this interview?"
Tarf says, "Just one thing"
Tarf says, "To all who read this, please vote and make your opinions
known."
Tarf says, "Only by voting can a decision of such magnitude be made"
Crippler says, "Thank you Tarf , and good luck"
(Tarf smiles)

#####
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#####
EXILE SPOTLIGHT
KOJIRO ON THE ORGA CAMP

Kojiro is well-known in Puddleby as an expert on the Orga. Fishwrap is
pleased to present this interview of Kojiro by our reporter Crippler.

Crippler says, "Thank you, Paramedic, With the next full moon Orga Camp
raids just around the corner, I caught up with Kojiro in the Skin Tint
Hut to discuss the raids and strategy on how to defeat the Orga."
Crippler says, "Kojiro .. You have asked that a representative from
each clan come forward to put together a plan to take OC4 and
beyond..."
Kojiro says, "aye"
Crippler asks, "how has the response been so far?"
Kojiro says, "Well, there seem to be several responses. I haven't read
them all."
Kojiro says, "Although, the main thing..."
Kojiro says, "OOC: HGM seems to have indicated that the 'bug', as such,
is fixed..."
Kojiro says, ".. as I feared."
Kojiro says, "Hard to tell with him, of course."
Crippler asks, "A bug?
Crippler asks, "A bug that does what?"
Kojiro says, "There was a bug with the Orga Camp doors"
Kojiro says, "Well..."
Kojiro says, "The GMs increased the difficulty of the doors in some
way"
Kojiro says, "as part of fully implementing the door opening trainer"
Kojiro says, " the bug, as I understand it, was a spirit drain bug"
Kojiro says, "It is NOT, as many think, the periodic closings of the
door"
Kojiro says, ".. as far as I know.."
Kojiro says, "So, I think we will have to deal with it."
Crippler asks, "So the mystics were getting more of a drain than they
should have?"
Kojiro says, "Yes, they were not able to choose which door to open"
Kojiro says, "Again, this is all mystic stuff that I am not qualified
to make definitive statements about"
Crippler says, "So having 5 mystics around to keep the door open...."
Crippler says, "may not be necessary?"
Kojiro says, "Maybe. I don't know. I'd like to get someone to explain
it to us."
Crippler says, "History has shown that without strong leadership, Orga
Camp raids quickly turn into a disaster...."
Kojiro says, "True, true."
Crippler asks, "How do you hope to make these upcoming raids will be
different?"
Kojiro says, "Well, I would like to have Clans send their own organized
teams"
(Crippler nods)
Kojiro says, "I think people will listen to their clan team leaders"
Kojiro says, "and I think the team leaders will see the necessity of
some order"
Crippler asks, "How will those with no clan or clan leadership fit into
the raid?"
Kojiro says, "hmmm"
Kojiro says, "I don't know. Perhaps they could join clan teams for the
raid, or form a clanless team"
Crippler asks, "The Orga have stepped up their defenses recently. What
will it take for us to take back our catapult? How many exiles will it
take?"
Kojiro says, "Well"
Kojiro says, "The one team that succeeded before, it was due to the
bravery, or desperation if you will, of the mystics"
Kojiro says, "They charged the 'locks, allowing the fighters to come
after them"
Kojiro says, "I don't think the Catapult is the goal, by the way"
Crippler asks, "is the south forest mirror in your opinion related to
the Orga power room?"
Kojiro says, "Heh"
Kojiro says, "No idea."
Kojiro says, "Actually, I think the mirror has to do with Qual and
trools and such"
Crippler says, "But we do know for a fact that they have the catapult."
Kojiro says, "Aye"
Kojiro says, "But the catapult isn't much of a reward, heheh."
Crippler says, "As far as strategy goes..."
Crippler asks, "do you prefer the luring tactic or just going for it in
one big sweep?"
Kojiro says, "Well, for Orga Camps1-3, luring isn't really necessary"
(Crippler nods)
Kojiro says, "Frankly, I think if we have some balls and charge in with
30 exiles or so.."
Kojiro says, ".. we will beat the living crap out of the Orga"
Kojiro says, "OC4, I think.."
Kojiro says, "Well, we can lure until we are set up"
Kojiro says, "but I think its actually better to hold IN OC4"
Crippler says, "Plus I think that many exiles get bored and leave, by
the time any progress is made getting into OC 5"
Kojiro says, "yeah"
Kojiro says, "boredom."
Kojiro says, "so.."
Kojiro says, "attack faster. :-)"
Kojiro says, "Go in, and succeed, or not. :-)"
Crippler says, "Many OC raids in the past kept a party in each
camp...."
(Kojiro nods)
Crippler says, "but I think that with the back spawns..."
Crippler says, "people always leave and breakup the party"
Crippler says, "going back"
Kojiro says, "hmm"
Kojiro says, "Well, OC1 gets neglected"
Kojiro says, "OC2 and 3 usually have strong enough parties to hold"
Kojiro says, "but OC1 is where the Orga always counter-attack"
Crippler asks, "Any chance of keeping everyone in OC4 and if you not
there than that's too bad?"
Kojiro says, "Hmm."
Kojiro says, "Possible"
Kojiro says, "especially with the doors like they are"
Crippler says, "aye"
Kojiro says, "I'll have to think about it"
Crippler asks, "Will there be a scroll put together to help coordinate
the raids?"
Kojiro says, "I am not a scrollmaker"
Kojiro says, "but I can come up with something"
Kojiro says, "Yor's scroll has the dates of the full moons"
Kojiro says, "I think I could set up a discussion forum"
Crippler asks, "When is the first attempt with the new strategy?"
Kojiro says, "Well, this Sunday, ideally."
Kojiro says, "the times through November and December should be
convenient for most people"
(Crippler nods)
Kojiro says, "Sundays and Saturdays"
Crippler asks, "For clans or exiles interested, how may they contact
you?"
Kojiro says, "kelsey@..."
Crippler says, "Thank you, Kojiro and good luck"
Kojiro exclaims, "Thank you!"

#####
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#####
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

Travelling merchant Keemhan recently came to town and told the story of
the Feast of Tsrrin. Fishwrap was there and brings you the following
transcript of the story.

Bones asks, "what are ye selling today, Keemhan?"
Bones asks, "when is this festival, i hear about?"
Snow asks, "Keemhan, you are a merchant?"
Bones says, "don't crowd the old man."
Elenis Reyav asks, "Keemhan, please forgive my ignorance, but as a
merchant do you bring any goods from afar?"
Bones says, "he sells stories, Elenis"
Thadius exclaims, "yay!"
Keemhan says, "The most valuable of riches I bring to you today."
Keemhan says, "A Tale whose time is nigh."
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "Ah...Please, tell us!"
Keemhan says, "Some of you've heard it before, I know."
K'Pyn says, "I'm gonna be in fishwrap... most boring interview to
date..."
K'Pyn says, "I'm gonna be infamous as the interview to NOT be like =)"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "Everyone, sit down and hear what he has to
say!"
Stunti ponders, "This better not be the tsrinn one again..."
Keemhan says, "It doesn't change much with the telling."
(Jessie laughs quietly.)
Elenis Reyav says, "You have our attention Keemhan."
Keemhan says, "So if you don't want to hear it again, feel free to sit
over there."
(Keemhan points to the other side of the square.)
Keemhan says, "Well, then."
Keemhan says, "As most of you know, the Feast of Tsrrin is coming
soon."
Keemhan says, "I can ignite imaginations and shake the foundations of
your knowledge."
(Elenis Reyav hands Keemhan a few coins to keep going.)
Keemhan says, "Now, then. Some of you may not know how the Feast began,
and that's the tale I bring to you today."
(Keemhan smiles slightly and pockets the coins.)
Elenis Reyav says, "Please go on."
Keemhan has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Merchant, and is not
wearing the symbol of any clan.
He is holding a purse.
(K'Pyn ogles the Merchant.)
(Keemhan clears his throat.)
Keemhan says, "Once upon a time..."
(Keemhan smiles, a little embarrassed.)
Keemhan ponders, "Bothersome storyteller's guild."
K'Pyn ponders, "yeah yeah yeah.. get to the good parts."
(Elenis Reyav smiles.)
Keemhan says, "Anyway, once upon a time, there was a young female of
the People named Tsrrin."
Keemhan says, "Tsrrin lived in a small village in the foothills of the
northwest mountains during the time of the Darshak War."
Elenis Reyav ponders, "That's just West of where I grew up..."
(Elenis Reyav smiles thinking of the mainland and his family.)
Keemhan says, "That's THE Darshak war, you know, not some little
sirmish like you've been having here."
Keemhan says, "The big one, the one we almost lost, the one Mobius came
along to win."
Keemhan ponders, "Mighty thirsty work, storytelling. A nice mug of ale
would sure go down well."
Gimli hands a beer mug to Keemhan.
Keemhan ponders, "Ah!"
Keemhan raises his frothy mug of beer on high, and drains it in one
gulp.
(Elenis Reyav smiles.)
K'Pyn ponders, "beer!?!"
Rael the Squonk ponders, "Town drunk."
Keemhan says, "Well. Tsrrin's life wasn't easy, but it wasn't too hard
either."
Elenis Reyav ponders, "Wow... that old man can drink!"
Johan says, "man chug man chug"
Keemhan says, "She worked in her family's garden, and sang, and
danced."
Keemhan says, "Sometimes she traveled to the neighboring village to
visit her cousins."
Keemhan says, "You see those three planets up there."
(Elenis Reyav smiles.)
Rael the Squonk says, "No."
(Snow looks at the sky)
(Ugh peers up)
Keemhan says, "Well, no, you don't. But look tonight and you will."
(Snow gets a retina burn)
Johan says, "whoa"
Snow ponders, "ow"
Keemhan says, "Well, everybody knows that when they're lined up in a
row - like they almost are now - strange things can happen.."
Keemhan says, "It's been that way for as long as anybody can remember.
We know it, Tsrrin knew it... and the Darshak knew it too."
K'Pyn asks, "oh?"
Keemhan says, "Why, you ask? Well, I wouldn't know. Maybe ask a Mystic.
Me, I'm just a simple storyteller."
Twoflower ponders, "How lucky I am! I'll witness the Feast of Tsrrin!"
K'Pyn ponders, "musta missed that in history class"
Keemhan says, "When those three planets line up, strange things can
happen."
Rael the Squonk asks, "What kind of things?"
Keemhan says, "This time I've been talking about, Tsrrin's time, what
happened right around then was a Darshak raid."
Slyph asks, "what darshak raid??"
Keemhan says, "All right, maybe that's not so strange during a war. But
it was a terrible tragedy."
Kojiro says, "Earthquakes. Black holes. Sober dwarves. That sort of
thing."
(Keemhan chortles.)
Keemhan says, "Tsrrin came home from a visit to her cousins' village to
find her home burned, the garden trampled."
Slyph exclaims, "!"
Keemhan says, "Well may you !, lass. Terrible thing it was."
Ugh ponders, "I hate when that happens"
Keemhan says, "Her friends and family had vanished, every one, carried
off by the Darshaks for some unspeakable purpose."
(K'Pyn shudders)
Snow says, "Cursed Darshak"
Keemhan says, "Tsrrin may have been young, but she was brave and
resourceful."
Keemhan says, "She followed after the Darshaks, tracking them through
the hills, until she found their camp…"
Keemhan says, "… shrouded in darkness and smoke and a feeling of evil
you could almost smell."
Twoflower ponders, "Ooh! The good part!"
Snow ponders, "So, all Darshak smell like that..."
Keemhan asks, "Hmm, now, where was I?"
Snow says, "She tracked them to their camp"
K'Pyn says, "shrouded in darkness"
Keemhan ponders, "Danced, yes, said that. Raid, right, tracked... Ah."
Keemhan says, "Ah! Right."
Odesseus asks, "oo, this about T'sirrin?"
(Bones pokes Ode.)
Keemhan says, "Off to one side, packed into a wooden pen, huddled her
entire village, overcome with exhaustion and fear."
(Elenis Reyav shivers at the thought.)
Odesseus ponders, "smart fen, she was"
Keemhan says, "Guarding the pen were a handful of Thugs and a crowd of
hooded corpses, …"
Snow says, "Yes, it is the story of Tsrrin"
Ugh ponders, "how sad"
Keemhan says, "and in the center of the camp stood half a dozen
priests, chanting something over a blood-red flame."
Keemhan says, "Tsrrin knew she had to free her family, and quickly."
Thadius conks Vanye with a greymyr rock candy.
Vanye says, "Ow"
Thadius says, "sowwy"
Snow exclaims, "no shovin!"
Keemhan says, "She was no warrior. Even one hooded corpse frightened
her nearly to death."
Bones whispers, "no talking."
Thadius says, "ment to conk snow"
Ugh asks, "...and..and??"
K'Pyn asks, "how'd she do it?"
Keemhan says, "But she did what she had to do."
Snow says, "dammit, knock it off. I wanna hear the story"
Keemhan says, "With scraps of cloth, mud and leaves, she disguised
herself as a hooded corpse,…"
(Thadius grins)
K'Pyn exclaims, "oooo!"
Keemhan says, "and lurched into the camp under cover of darkness and
fog."
Keemhan says, "Carefully she wandered nearer to the captives' pen."
K'Pyn ponders, "ever so carefully"
Keemhan exclaims, "You'd be careful too, alone in a camp full of
Darshaks. She was brave, but she wasn't an idiot!"
Natas ponders, "man this guy's old"
(K'Pyn nods.)
Keemhan says, "Ah, but she was lucky, that she was."
Keemhan says, "She managed to attract her brother's attention, then get
close enough to stumble against the latch on the gate."
K'Pyn ponders, "helps to be lucky... I wouldn't know.."
Slyph exclaims, "run tsrrin, dont just stand there!"
Keemhan says, "Out swarmed a crowd of villagers, taking the thugs and
corpses by surprise."
(Slyph wrings her hands)
Keemhan says, "The heroine Tsrrin stripped off her disguise and joined
her family,…"
K'Pyn exclaims, "wooot!"
(Odesseus smiles)
(Slyph cheers!)
(Twoflower smiles.)
(Elenis Reyav cheers.)
Keemhan says, "running from the camp before the priests knew what had
happened."
K'Pyn ponders, "when did the eatin start?"
Keemhan says, "And so, every couple of years, when the planets line up
like they are now, we celebrate the Feast of Tsrrin."
Keemhan says, "We put on disguises like she did, dodge the sinister
carved Darshak and rescue candy."
Slyph yells, "battle undine, rescue candy!"
Ugh ponders, "a brave rescue!"
(Snow chuckles.)
(Elenis Reyav grins.)
Keemhan says, "Ahh... but you know all that, of course, and I you're
not likely to pay me to hear it again."
Shirla ponders, "candy"
K'Pyn exclaims, "woooot!!!"
(Slyph is so excited)
(Slyph smiles)
K'Pyn exclaims, "fine tale sir!"
Snow exclaims, "Wooden Darshak! Turn em into sawdust!"
Ugh asks, "thirsty?"
Paramedic says, "A fine story."
Keemhan says, "And so that's the story of the Feast of Tsrrin."
(Snow applauds.)
(Slyph claps)
(Gimli claps)
(Odesseus claps)
(Entil'Zha): Entil'Zha applauds!
Keemhan says, "Ah, a Zo after my own heart."
Snow exclaims, "Thank you, Keemhan!"
Ugh says, "good story, sir"
(Brindle claps)
(Vanye claps)
(Twoflower cheers.)
Snow says, "Well told."
Odesseus says, "Tshahr'tsei"
(K'Pyn): Applause is heard all around.
(Keemhan clears his throat... his dry throat.)
Slyph ponders, "candy candy candy"
Gimli hands a stout to Keemhan.
Odesseus ponders, "someone give the fellow a beer"
Keemhan says, "Thank you, sirs, for your kind contributions."
K'Pyn exclaims, "My pleasure sir!"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "We head to the pub to treat Keemhan!"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "For his wonderful tale!"
Slyph says, "hehe"
(K'Pyn waves happily to the fine teller of tales.)
Keemhan says, "Thank you, one and all, for your attention, and may your
Feast of Tsrrin be happy... and not too strange."
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "To the pub then, friend Keemhan!"
Garibaldi says, "Im hoping for strange myself :)"
Keemhan ponders, "Now, where's that pub got to?"
Tarf is now Clanning.
Tarf is a Dwarf, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of the
Dwarven Militia.
He is holding a shiny dagger and a wooden shield.
(He is married to Tavish and is the District Attorney.)
Tarf has 70 good and 33 bad karma.
(Tarf waits to be sued.)
SnowLion says, "Heh"
Tuan says, "was a purty good story"

#####
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#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

* The Trial of Tarf
* "Six Questions" with Bones the Thoom
* "Exile Profile": Rael the Squonk
* "When Animals Eat Exiles" (a gripping expose into this painful
subject)

#####
The Daily Fishwrap is brought to you by Para Publishing.
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Roving reporter: Crippler

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in the Daily
Fishwrap, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"The Daily Fishwrap: Thoom News You Can Use"