"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Meshra
Mush with it in the afternoon"
Issue #34: "Secrets, Scandals, and Sleipnir"
[March 13, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw:
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Norm, for The Zouclougeist Alliance:
http://www.zouclougeist.com/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
http://www.sundragonclan.com
* The "Manx for Puddlebean Ornithological Society Council" committee:
http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/mrdrplot.html
* Quest Tracker, for all your quest-related information:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ClanLordQuestTracker
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Merlisk the Thoom becomes a fourth-circle healer
* Rising Claw wins Dun'ilsar, Lords of the Wamphyrii defeated
* Massive Orga invasions of East Fields and Tanglewood
* Fishwrap Magazine hires Mac the Mystic

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* The Ethereal Box
* A long chat with Tenebrion's minion, Emmei
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Adventures in the Savannah
* Gurgi and the Ethereal Sword
* Forest Chamelopods discovered far to the northeast
* Fiery bubbles in Tenebrion's Keep
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Exiles fall to lightning in Tanglewood as Orgas go on the offensive
* Vulture chews on Thoom Kaspar
* Orga combat scenes
* Pictures of Dun'ilsar with Rising Claw and Lords of the Wamphyrii
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

Recent ballot results:
#177: Should we be able to give the death penalty in court?
9 (18%): Yes
23 (45%): No
13 (25%): Yes, stoning
1 (2%): yes, hanging!
2 (4%): None of the above
3 (6%): Abstain
#178: Should Manx really have a POS council seat? (Paid for by the
Slyph-for-council Campaign)
6 (12%): No, are you nuts? she's so old.
3 (6%): Yes, I love her issues: nit brushes and fresh litter for
everyone.
2 (4%): Yes, because picking Manx is like Picking Slyph- manx will just
die soon anyways.
18 (37%): Slyph and Manx should share the council seat; more fighting
that way. Fighting in jello.
11 (22%): None of the above
9 (18%): Abstain
#179: Healers: what are you training right at this moment? (Others
please abstain)
2 (4%): Respia
1 (2%): Sespus
6 (13%): Faustus!
10 (21%): Other healer trainer
6 (13%): None of the above
22 (47%): Abstain

The Gubara report:
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Afrit, Flux, Athala,
Axia, Felicity."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Athala, Althea, Beep,
Bigfat."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_060_22_11 on 60 Winter, 541 at 23:10..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Algernon of corrupt politition..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 1283 minutes in jail, 11030c
fine and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_070_04_45 on 70 Winter, 541 at 5:47..."
Clerus says, "Sleipnir accused Sephorus of falling and not
departing..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 48 minutes in jail, 0c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_079_03_58 on 79 Winter, 541 at 4:53..."
Clerus says, "Domino accused Nargoth of assaulting me in town severall
times..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 56 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0
days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_081_08_08 on 81 Winter, 541 at 8:55..."
Clerus says, "Kalian accused Sareth of of putting out the fires to
destroy the gods house..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 161 minutes in jail, 63c fine
and 0 days banished."

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0541_085_15_08 on 85 Winter, 541 at 16:01..."
Clerus says, "Michael accused Pe Ell of Setting up a "toll bridge" in
NE feild..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH YE OLDE KNIGHT, SLEIPNIR
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

Paramedic says, "Ah there is Sleipnir now"
Arocet says, "joining PM is like finding a path"
Sleipnir asks, "It be so?"
Arocet says, "absolutely"
Sleipnir asks, "Will not letters of recommendation work?"
Arocet says, "never said it was easy"
Paramedic asks, "Sleipnir, are you disenchanted with the Red Quill?"
Sleipnir says, "Nay, Paramedic, but I must become a strong and fierce
fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I have excellent testimonials!"
Sleipnir is a Human, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the symbol
of the Red Quill.
He is holding an axe and a wooden shield.
(sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose)
Sleipnir says, "Thus, I must join Pogue Mahone."
Arocet asks, "did you look at our scrolls?"
Sleipnir says, "Oh, aye, Arocet, I did."
Sleipnir exclaims, "They be wonderful scrolls!"
Arocet says, "there it tells you everything you need to know to join"
Sleipnir says, "Very learned."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic asks, "Perhaps you'd like to answer a few questions for
Fishwrap on why you'd like to change clans?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course, Paramedic, I would be honoured."
Paramedic asks, "1) Can you tell our readers why you are interested in
joining Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Aye, I can for certes. There be one main reason....."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I must become a strong and fierce fighter."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must become a mighty WARRIOR!!!"
Sleipnir says, "This be of the utmost urgency."
Paramedic asks, "You feel you need to become stronger than you are?"
Sleipnir says, "Much, much stronger, Paramedic, aye."
Paramedic asks, "Why is this?"
Sleipnir says, "Presently, I can kill only rats."
Sleipnir says, "And the Lady Babajaga doth not respect such weakness."
Sleipnir says, "To gain her respect, and maybe even her love, I must
become a strong and mighty fighter."
Sleipnir says, "Clearly, singing songs will not work."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Sleipnir says, "So I have decided to join Pogue Mahone, that wonderful
clan."
Sleipnir says, "It be a wonderful feeling, sitting here...."
Sleipnir says, "Proud..... strong....."
Sleipnir says, "... surrounded by other proud strong clan mates."
Paramedic asks, "2) How would you see your role within Pogue Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "I would be the mighty warrior that kills the small
things."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Sleipnir says, "Rats. Vermine. That sort of thing."
Arocet ponders, "we already have Devil for that"
(Solas thinks about sneaking algy to the clan hut again)
Sleipnir says, "It's a nasty job, but someone has to do it."
Sleipnir says, "Every clan needs one."
Paramedic asks, "Will that make you a mighty warrior?"
Sleipnir says, "Of course. As long I be in the Pogue Mahone, aye."
Sleipnir says, "They be all mighty warriors."
Sleipnir exclaims, "And I shall be one too!!!!"
Sleipnir yells, "Huzzah!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
(Sleipnir is getting excited)
(Sleipnir remembers to look superior)
Sleipnir ponders, "I must appear strong"
Paramedic says, "3) Our readers would like to know about your lawsuit."
Sleipnir says, "Ah! The lawsuit. Well..."
Sleipnir says, ".... I know that to join the PM, I must show myself
worthy."
Sleipnir says, "They do not accept just any old Knight."
Sleipnir says, "So... I must do as PM doth."
Sleipnir says, "I must be strong...."
Sleipnir says, "I have cursed at least two people. Just today."
Arocet says, "sleip.. you obviously haven't looked at the scrolls
enuff. it doesn't say anything about being worthy"
Sleipnir says, "I cursed Gurgi. And I can prove it."
Sleipnir says, "I kept documentary evidence."
Sleipnir says, "So... as part of my plan...."
(Paramedic listens)
Sleipnir says, "I decided to sue a fallen person for not departing."
Odesseus ponders, "wahh?"
Sleipnir says, "I thought that would be bound to impress the important
PM people."
Paramedic asks, "Why is that?"
Sleipnir says, "I believe Althea hath already been much impressed."
Sleipnir says, "Well......"
(Paramedic looks at Althea.)
(Sleipnir thinks)
Sleipnir says, "I thought that... er... well...."
Sleipnir says, "I must try to behave correctly."
Sleipnir says, "I must show strength."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir exclaims, "I must have no mercy!"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Where they lead, I must follow!"
Sleipnir says, "And I will."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Sleipnir says, "Sephorus was very kind to oblige me."
Sleipnir says, "And the people whom I have cursed have all been most
understanding."
Sleipnir says, "Very helpful"
Paramedic asks, "4) Can you tell us about your role models in Pogue
Mahone?"
Sleipnir says, "Ah. Role models."
Sleipnir says, "Well, Azure obviously."
Sleipnir says, "I did so admire his lawsuit."
(Paramedic nods.)
Sleipnir says, "Very clever I thought."
Sleipnir says, "Very strong."
(Sleipnir nods wisely)
Sleipnir says, "And .... er....."
(Sleipnir blushes)
Sleipnir whispers, "I rather fancy Althea"
(Sleipnir goes a little pink)
(Paramedic turns a funny color himself.)
(Paramedic had a bad fish sandwich earlier.)
Sleipnir says, "And... er...."
Sleipnir says, "Well... Arocet be very very strong also."
Sleipnir says, "He would be an excellent role model"
Paramedic says, "Oh I see."
Sleipnir ponders, "Except for the purple thing happening"
(Sleipnir smiles all around)
Paramedic asks, "5) If you were accepted in Pogue Mahone, would you be
planning to make trips to the Dred Passage with them?"
Sleipnir exclaims, "Well, of course!"
Sleipnir says, "Ye all know that I also found a Dread Passage."
Paramedic exclaims, "So I hear!"
Sleipnir says, "And I would hope they would aid me in that one also."
Sleipnir says, "It be a very frightening place."
Sleipnir says, "It be in Sleipnir's Field."
Sleipnir says, "I have fallen there many times."
Sleipnir exclaims, "I believe that together, PM and I shall advance
boldly into the future!"
Paramedic says, "Well, in keeping with a long Fishwrap tradition, you
are now allowed to ask the Thoom 1 (ONE) question."
Paramedic says, "That's ONE (1) question."
Sleipnir asks, "Only one?"
Paramedic says, "yes, indeed, ONE"
Paramedic says, "Yes that was your question."
Paramedic says, "Thank you."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for taking the time for the interview."
Sleipnir says, "Mine honour, sir."
(Sleipnir smiles at Althea)
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee also, Paramedic?"
Sleipnir ponders, "I suppose not"
Arocet ponders, "damn.. sleip just missed one of the key requirements
for joining.. he must study those scrolls"
Arocet ponders, "they hold all the answers"
Sleipnir ponders, "Study scrolls, study scrolls...."
Odesseus exclaims, "curse Para, I bite!"
(Bones was bit by Odesseus once)
Sleipnir asks, "Bones, may I curse thee?"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Paramedic says, "Sorry, was taking notes."
(Bones points at someone else)
Paramedic asks, "Someone bite or curse me?"
Sleipnir asks, "May I curse thee, good Paramedic?"
Odesseus says, "er, neither"
Paramedic says, "Well, try thanking me, bub."
Odesseus says, "I threatened biting"
Paramedic says, "Works better"
Sleipnir says, "In aid of mine application, of course."
Paramedic says, "Oh that"
Sleipnir says, "Oh."
(Althea nods)
(Odesseus bares his fangs)
Paramedic says, "No, just maintain a firm neutrality toward me"
Paramedic says, "Thooms like that"
(Sleipnir sighs)
Sleipnir says, "Very well. I understand."

#####
SPECIAL FISHWRAP EXCLUSIVE
SLEIPNIR: THE CONTENTS OF HIS BAG

(Sleipnir left his bag behind after the interview. I rummaged through
it and found some stuff to run through my printing press before he
noticed.
-Para)

To all, greetings.

The Pogue Mahone admissions committee have asked me to contribute a
poem to support my membership application. After much blood, sweat and
tears, I have the greatest honour in submitting the following humble
poetic effort for the perusal of the committee.

Upon request, I will be happy to recite this poem (with suitable
musical accompaniment) to any exile in the Land.

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir

**

I love the noble Arocet,
I love the gentle Blitz.
I love the fair Althea
(and I don't think she's a ditz).

I love the handsome Devil
like the fingers on my hand.
I love the dear Baffette, Azure
and Cygnus, Klur and Band.

But of them all my favourite
has got to be that Wisher.
He's sleek, he's slick, he's debonair.
No other exile's swisher.

And when it comes to finding paths
he's really really swell.
(The only trouble is that when
he finds them he won't tell.)

Now I must join this noble group
for reasons I shan't mention.
(It's cause the Lady Babajaga
pays me no attention).

And thus I strive most mightily
to join this noble Band.
And If I thus do cause offence
I know you'll understand.

I cursed the naughtie Gurgi
and although I didn't like
to do such bad and naughtie things
I cursed the noble Mike.

(But Mike's a real gentleman,
he said he didn't mind.
'Cause Michael is the noblest Thoom
that you will ever find.)

I'm keeping all the secrets
I discover in the marsh.
And I'm not telling anyone
although you think I'm harsh.

But since I'm going to join the Pogues
these things I've got to do.
So even if you howl and scream
no way I'm telling you.

I'm suing fallen exiles
when they lie and won't depart.
(Although I think it's rather mean
I'm hardening my heart.)

And from these legal efforts
I have suffered scorn and laughter.
I've done my time in jail, I've been
a real Poguie Martyr.

I'm practising maneuvers
in a military fashion.
I'm learning how to run with grace,
and find the rats, and bash'em.

The only difficulty
is that great big book of rules
(It's really not designed for those
who just are Knightly fools.)

I know that when I join the noble
wondrous Poguie Clan,
then I will be the very boldest
fiercest fighting man.

And when I am so fierce and bold
I hope she pays attention.
For Knights who only vanquish rats?
They barely rate a mention!

But surely when I am a Pogue
I will regain her heart,
and once I am a fierce bold Knight,
then we will never part.

And so we two will live in bliss
with all our Poguie mates.
(With Cutlas and Althea
joining us for double dates).

**

To all, greetings.

It be my very great pleasure to include for your perusal divers letters
of recommendation that I have collected from exiles in the Land. I hope
ye will read them with care and attention, as they be most supportive
of mine application to join the clan Pogue Mahone..

I remain,

As ever,

sir Sleipnir Na Gralam, Knight of the Rose


**************************

To whom it may concern:

I understand that Sleipnir is seeking entrance to the Pogue Mahone
clan. As it is well known that this clan seeks out only the best and
brightest exiles to join them, it is my belief that Sleipnir is a most
worthy candidate. Although he is, by his own admission, a foolish
knight, it is obvious that he can talk circles around any of those on
the current Pogue Mahone roster. This is a very important skill, and
will no doubt be useful in many situations. Thus, it would be in Pogue
Mahone's best interest to recruit Sleipnir without hesitation.

Entil'Zha Mithraell

**************************

I, Syndir, healer of the 3rd Circle, and Ripture War veteran, hereby
affirm the following:

I have personally witnessed Sir Sleipnir singlehandedly turn many of
the Great Maker's creatures into small bloody smears. He invariably
enhances the morale and camaraderie within any group, oftentimes
completely unintentionally. He plays a splendid tune and has a keen eye
for fashion. Small children love him. Sir Sleipnir is able to survive
in the wilderness with only a bootlace, a gummi wendecka, and a blunted
cheese knife. His manhood is of such proportions that it is rumored to
be a unit of measurement in his homeland. In short, I consider him to
be a friend, a confidant, and one of the finest Exiles on the isle.

Signed,

Syndir

**************************

To Whom it May Concern

While I have never participated in a hunt with Sir Sleipnir, I have
encountered this Brave Knight solo hunting in some of my favorite
areas. In all cases I must attest to his Bravery in facing, alone,
great numbers of unpleasant (yet profitable) creatures.

Now, while Sir Sleipnir has not yet made a name for himself in the
ranks of the most powerful fighters in the land, you must notice those
that have surrounded this Fine Knight. You may be aware of the old
saying, paraphrased as "behind every great man is a fine woman,
supporting and facilitating." I ask you to reverse the genders and
look at the Lady Babajaga. I do not believe that she could have
attained such skill and notoriety without the support and guidance of
Sir Sleipnir. I am amazed at the sacrifices that Sleipnir must have
made, slaughtering the vermines and ferals for Babajaga while she
concentrates on vanquishing the Wraths and Greater deaths.

I believe that Sir Sleipnir's displayed attributes of Sacrifice and
Devotion to the Cause makes this Knight a worthy addition to the fabled
Pogue Mahone fighting machine.

With kind regards,
++Hoover

***********************

After being invited to an afternoon of tea with Sir Sleipnir Na'Gralam,
Ser Sadraz dictates a scroll to her Squire John Junkar....

Sir Sleipny ish onah my oldish friends..... Why he'd make a great
PM!!! He's a great exploiter... er... explorer. 'member when he
dishcover duh east field??? What a find that was! For a foolish
Knight, he can be awful clever.

O! An how 'bout de time he laffed in de face o' Death when he
hugged the Greymur Chief afore his wedding? Pershonally, I thought it
washa deep desire notuh go thru wid de weddin'.... But he lived tuh go
wid that fateful marriage. Gotuh admit the man has forditude, he does.

(Sadraz mumbles about Babajaga probably regretting not using that anti-
wrinkle cream she gave them as a wedding present.)

Now shum might think Sleipy hasa problem keeping his weight down and
dat he might be too fragile to keep up wid you hard runnin' PMs. Not
the caysh atall. Nossur! I know fors a fact he wears the best corset
and support hose in de lands! In fact, I once saw a rock thrown from a
'myr bounce right off de man's chest!! Wid dat corset, Sleipie is well
nigh invinshable. And the way the hose catches the light, many a
crittur has been blinded by sheen o' his calves. To see de way
Sleipniss dispatches a crittur fortwit is to see agility in action.

(Sadraz asks if there is more tea to be had.)

But, hesa goo' man. E'en when I and the manic knight kicked him out
of the Knight's, he took his punishment like the man he was and nary a
thought of vengeance on us.

With all dese (hic) hatributes, Sir Sleipner wa make one good PM
man. He might even make a song fer ya and yer exploits will be known
far and wide! Sleip's the one for you. Yup.

(Sadraz waves Squire John Junkar off to deliver the scroll and curls up
near the fire snoring softly.)
************************************

To Whom It May Concern:

I have known Sleipnir for a very long time. Not that I'm old and saggy;
that's just a rumor, probably started by those witches, but I digress.

He has always been eager to travel to new places. Why, I recall my very
first party in the greymyr village, which was organized and led by
Sleipnir. An unusual party indeed, with tea and cookies, as well as
titillating conversation. Of course, as with many of the finest
exploration parties, all of the guests ended up departing.

By the way, does anyone recall who won the "how long is this marriage
going to last" pool?

Anyway, I think he'd make a lovely addition to the Pogue Mahone
exploration team. Sure, exiles with nice legs are a luxury, not a
necessity, in a clan. But don't you guys think you've worked hard
enough to deserve the very best?

-Shamhat, who appreciates both a fine party and a shapely calf

#####
BEHIND THE MYSTIC
WITH YOUR HOST, MAC THE MYSTIC

(Fishwrap hereby presents a new feature, written by that famous
anonymous mystic, "Mac."
-Para)

Greetings exiles! I bring you news from the world of mystics. This
report was sent to me via carrier bloodhawk from one of my confederates
in the field. He is risking his life to provide this information. All
the names have been changed to protect the innocent, not-so-innocent,
and the vulnerable.

3/10/01 5:49:16a Lycoris says, "Good evening"
3/10/01 5:49:17a Lycoris has not disclosed her race, is female, is an
Apprentice Mystic, and is not wearing the symbol of any clan.
3/10/01 5:49:17a She is holding a Rod of Akea.
3/10/01 5:49:28a Bern says, "Hello Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:49:28a (Bern smiles at Lycoris)
3/10/01 5:49:31a (Lycoris nods tersely)
3/10/01 5:49:38a Bern says, "So, what can I do for you?"
3/10/01 5:49:42a (Lycoris frowns)
3/10/01 5:49:57a Lycoris says, "This is difficult for me"
3/10/01 5:50:00a Mortis is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:50:03a (Bern nods encouragingly)
3/10/01 5:50:07a Lycoris ponders, "hmm"
3/10/01 5:50:13a Lycoris says, "this is a secret, even within the
guild"
3/10/01 5:50:28a Lycoris says, "an open secret perhaps, but still"
3/10/01 5:50:42a Bern says, "Well, you did ask to speak to me"
3/10/01 5:50:51a Lycoris says, "yes yes"
3/10/01 5:51:08a Lycoris says, "I just need you to understand what it
will mean to me"
3/10/01 5:51:13a Lycoris says, "if the guild learns where you got this
information"
3/10/01 5:51:19a Bern says, "I think I understand"
3/10/01 5:51:25a Bern says, "Names can be changed, would that do?"
3/10/01 5:51:32a Lycoris says, "I suppose so"
3/10/01 5:51:35a (Lycoris frowns again)
3/10/01 5:51:43a Lycoris says, "This is about one of the highest in the
guild"
3/10/01 5:51:56a Lycoris says, "Do you know who I mean, or must I be
more clear?"
3/10/01 5:52:01a (Bern looks perplexed)
3/10/01 5:52:13a Lycoris whispers, "Alright, it's Aki, now do you
understand?"
3/10/01 5:52:19a (Bern nods slowly)
3/10/01 5:52:28a Lycoris says, "He's the head of the council, even now"
3/10/01 5:52:43a Bern says, "what do you mean "even now?""
3/10/01 5:52:52a Lycoris says, "Well, did you know he joined Pogue
Mahone?"
3/10/01 5:52:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:53:01a Bern says, "I just noticed tonight"
3/10/01 5:53:05a Lycoris says, "he's been spending all his time with
them"
3/10/01 5:53:12a Lycoris says, "He ignores the guild totally,"
3/10/01 5:53:22a Lycoris says, "Not that he was ever easy to talk to,
but now it's impossible"
3/10/01 5:53:36a Lycoris says, "It's like PM has swallowed him up"
3/10/01 5:53:45a Bern says, "I've noticed"
3/10/01 5:53:52a Lycoris says, "Well, tonight, no, not tonight, last
night"
3/10/01 5:54:07a Lycoris says, "the 78th"
3/10/01 5:54:20a Lycoris says, "That was the full moon day. You know
what that means to mystics?"
3/10/01 5:54:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:54:26a Bern says, "Raid on the OC"
3/10/01 5:54:30a Lycoris says, "yes that's what I mean"
3/10/01 5:54:33a Miko is now Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:43a Lycoris says, "Recently the Guild hasn't had much
luck"
3/10/01 5:54:49a Valtrim is no longer Clanning.
3/10/01 5:54:54a Lycoris says, "the raids haven't worked out too well"
3/10/01 5:55:02a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:55:14a Lycoris says, "last night, PM raided the OC"
3/10/01 5:55:23a Lycoris says, "and they were successful"
3/10/01 5:55:50a Lycoris says, "though I suppose that isn't too
surprising, they are pretty tough"
3/10/01 5:55:56a Bern says, "yes, they are that, but... are you
saying...?"
3/10/01 5:56:02a (Lycoris nods)
3/10/01 5:56:08a Lycoris says, "they were successful, they got a Stone"
3/10/01 5:56:17a Lycoris says, "Aki has a Teleportation stone now, and
I think he's pretty well trained in it too"
3/10/01 5:56:23a Bern says, "Well, that is news,"
3/10/01 5:56:32a Bern says, "I'll want to publish this, if it's alright
with you"
3/10/01 5:56:44a Lycoris whispers, "as long as you change the names"
3/10/01 5:56:52a Bern says, "Of course, as I promised"
3/10/01 5:57:26a Lycoris says, "Provided it doesn't crumble, this will
give PM some new abilities"
3/10/01 5:57:39a Lycoris says, "The stories of the old rings, they say
that groups could be teleported"
3/10/01 5:57:51a Lycoris says, "I think Malkor managed it, before his
stone crumbled, at least once anyway"
3/10/01 5:57:57a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:10a Lycoris says, "I think exiles in general should know.
The guild has secrets, but this is different"
3/10/01 5:58:18a Lycoris says, "This is a Pogue Mahone secret"
3/10/01 5:58:20a (Bern nods)
3/10/01 5:58:25a Lycoris says, "It won't make any difference, they'll
just laugh it off, or ignore it"
3/10/01 5:58:33a Lycoris says, "But I still think people ought to know"
3/10/01 5:58:45a Bern says, "I think we can do something about that at
the very least"
3/10/01 5:58:52a (Lycoris smiles)
3/10/01 5:58:59a Bern says, "Thank you Lycoris"
3/10/01 5:59:08a You gave good karma to Lycoris, thank you for your
honesty
3/10/01 5:59:15a (Lycoris nods)

By the way, in other news, Aki's fallen repeatedly to unnamed monsters
while on hunts with Pogue Mahone recently, causing many mystics to
wonder if perhaps he is taking unnecessary risks. Some say his
association with this clan is damaging his relations with other
mystics. No one knows for sure what the long-term implications of this
will be.

Until next time!

Mystically yours,
Mac

#####
MEDICAL JOURNAL ENTRY
BY TESSA

My Case to the Newly Formed Medical Ethics Board

Patient Name: [OMITTED FOR REASONS OF PRIVACY- REFERRED TO HERE AS
"PATIENT X"

Diagnosis: Chronic mutagenic transformation and infection, with
parasitic dendritic formation along the spinal and brain stem CSF
pathways.

Symptoms: Radical change in behavior, skin pigment changes, chronic
soreness of affected areas, impairment of normal neural function.
Paranoia is evident, with an insistent resistance and refusal to submit
to treatment.

Prognosis: After final transformation, the life of the patient will be
inextricably bound to the life of the invading parasite. Further
discussion in the case history.

Case Histories:

I first met PATIENT X in town. A highly esteemed warrior with tan
complexion and a firm build, she has a reputation for equitability,
sound judgement, and level-headedness.

12 Autumn 538. Patient fell unconscious in town. Medical emergency. I
checked for vital signs. BP130/95 f. p 145 b normal. Languid and
unresponsive. Pupil reflex positive. The patient then recovered
consciousness. No diagnosis.

32 Autumn 538. Patient listless and depressed. What ensued was best
described as a counseling session. PATIENT X reported marital problems
with her husband, XXXXXX, now separated. Involvement of a third
party, one by the name of XXXXXX, suspected. Patient seemed unwilling
to work towards resolution but at the same time seemed nearly overcome
with tension. She showed signs of depression throughout the session:
a narrowing of options, feelings of helplessness as to how to resolve
the situation, unwillingness to compromise or seek resolution.

49 Autumn 538. Patient appeared with severe pigmentosis. Upon
question, asserted her skin had not changed tone and that she was
suffering no ill effects. At this time, PATIENT X renounced any
knowledge of her husband, now separated. Upon discussion, the patient
became irritated. Diagnosis: repressive amnesia, depression, paranoid
delusion. Administered 10cc Thorazine, IV. Patient progressed into
shock and convulsions. Adverse and physical reactions to Thorazine,
however, are not indicated. Complications must be arising from some
primary inductive agent. Extracted a blood sample. Further study
indicated. But the patient does not seem mentally stable. Further
study refused, and noncompliance to medical procedure noted.

This quote neatly sums up the following events, after which numerous
people tried to have the courts declare PATIENT X insane and have her
committed. That failed. And then PATIENT X sought a court injunction
to terminate our doctor-patient relationship. That effort was deemed
frivolous.

Mac-arena says, "insanity clouds judgement, resulting in false
actions."
Mac-arena says, "we are seeking to imprison her, for lack of an asylum,
to protect the Public At Large"
Mac-arena says, "and as evidence of her insanity, look at her skin
colour: it is raven grey."
Mac-arena says, "53 Autumn 538: PATIENT X says, "No it's not. It's
lilywhite"

And many days later:

8 Winter, 538
Blitz ponders, "PATIENT X has one hell of a rash"
(PATIENT X scratches her neck thoughtfully and glances at Tessa)

Patient develops an irritating skin lesion, anterior lateral C6 (at the
right base of her neck l. insertion planal clavicular)

25 Spring 538

Biopsy taken of affected area (With the assistance and agreement of
PATIENT X's good friend Ataru). Analysis revealed infection with a
trans-genetic mutagen. Systemic changes noted at the nucleotide level
within cells. Scans show subdermal lesions extending laterally and
medially from the spine and brain stem. Nature or effect of lesions
unknown at this time. Method of insertion of the infectious agent
appears to have been through an incision made in the base of the neck,
which shows signs of tissue necrosis. Progression of gangrene however
is not present. There must be some antibacterial agent at work at the
site of the wound.

Because of the progression and nature of the disease, psychological and
neurological effects are indicated. The patient shows irrational fear
of and resistance to treatment.

Further research:

Independent research and advice of others pointed me toward research
into the Neodew situation frequently discussed in town. Samples from a
variety of species of Neodews bear genetic resemblance to the sample
taken from PATIENT X's neck. PATIENT X herself claims to have been
"dewed" but the method of insertion of this agent is commonly oral, and
not subdermal. I suspect that PATIENT X's case is unusual in this
regard.

10 Autumn 538

In vivio incubation of an active reagent commenced, research into
possible cures begun. Continued to observe and monitor PATIENT X to
measure the progression of disease.

2 Winter 540

Administration of active reagent seemed unlikely because the patient is
making every effort to avoid treatment and care. So, the
administration of a possible cure was subcontracted to Mr. Bubba.
However, he has disappeared. I do not know if PATIENT X has received
the treatment. However, she does not yet show any signs of change.
Further biopsy and imaging indicated.

Tessa

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
Behind the Mystic II

#####
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