"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover Winged
Snake Sausages with it in the afternoon"
Issue #30: "Writers' Strike"
[February 18, 2001]
Circulation: 147

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Babajaga the Sylvan:
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/
* Clan Pogue Mahone:
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Sielk, for Sun Dragon Clan:
http://www.sundragonclan.com
* Gurgi, for Puddleby Marine Corps:
http://pmc.puddleby.dk
* Nyssa, for Group FMOCR (Essays on the Full Moon Orga Camp raids can
be found here):
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FMOCR
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk:
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES
"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Tenebrion offers payment for a songwriter at Bard Audition
* Local healer pecked by vultures:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Ouch/
vultureseatpara.gif
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/files/Ouch/
vulturepain.gif
* Bracis is now training followers in the monastery
* Koric joins Clan Rising Claw
* Marfisa the Fen has mysteriously disappeared
* The Beautify Puddleby program has been announced:
http://ferindril.dhs.org/ferindril/beautify/

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* What are the Foothills?
* Mysterious ladder found
* Reluctant exiles finally spill the beans on the Votenkath Dew/Noth
juice story
* Elenis Reyav gets a Sword of Souls
* Malkor nearly set aflame in bonfire accident
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga/

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm's art contest
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary/museum.html
* Super-Darshak attack
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Rescue at mid-pass
* A visit to the Old Cemetary
* Increase in Darshak activity
* Rescue in the dangerous Pallidew cave
* Rare pictures of the dreaded Tuz'Noth, Hel'Noth, and Wickedew
for more information in the above stories, see Koric's Journal
http://dingram.phys.tcu.edu/koric.html

#####
NEWS FEATURES

The Gubara report:
From Gubara in Agratis
Gubara says, "The most esteemed citizens are: Mujin-kun, Axia,
Salandra, Felicity, Dandelion."
Gubara says, "The most reviled citizens are: Amelia, Algernon, Razz,
Chris Rex, Malkor."

Court Records:
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_347_14_38 on 77 Autumn, 540 at 15:23..."
Clerus says, "Tarf accused Swami of harrassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 121 minutes in jail, 475c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_347_22_31 on 77 Autumn, 540 at 23:33..."
Clerus says, "Kren'daa accused Leoric III of threatening kalle's
life..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 104 minutes in jail, 967c fine
and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_351_23_16 on 82 Autumn, 540 at 0:14..."
Clerus says, "Monkey accused Malkor of Stealing...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0540_358_12_02 on 88 Autumn, 540 at 12:38..."
Clerus says, "Swami accused Fundin of having a horrible, horrible
fashion sense...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 258 minutes in jail, 760c fine
and 0 days banished."

#####
EDITORIAL
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM

From the Editor's Desk:
Fishwrap's writers have been on strike for the past couple of weeks.
We've had almost no new submissions, and as a result, nothing to print.
I've pulled together a few things for this issue, and hope the labor
dispute is settled soon. I'm not sure what their demands are, but they
can't have more of my fish.

I hear that a well-known clan has discovered a new area, but it seems
they are reluctant to speak about this. Fishwrap hereby offers them a
place for a feature article if they are willing to tell us of their
discoveries. It would be a shame if their accomplishment were to go
unknown by others.

ThoomCare has been asked to form an investigative panel to look into
two related questions:
1) Have exiles in Puddleby been under the influence of mind-controlling
dews?
2) Has healer Tessa, in her capacity as a physician for the Puddleby
Navy, exceeded or abused her authority in trying to examine certain
Navy members for dew-infestation?
ThoomCare is assembling the panel now and we are awaiting Tessa's
report on her research.

The ThoomCare Media Network has recently opened a new feature for
exiles seeking the latest news in Puddleby. "Fishmonger News Kiosk" is
a list of links to frequently updated news sources.
You can find Fishmonger here:
http://www.geocities.com/mikeswanson_98/fishmonger.html

Manx's portrait raffle has been completed, and the finished artwork is
now available for viewing.
http://www.gigagraphica.com/clan/luminary.html

-Para

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and
advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well
over 140 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
KATNAPPED!
BY FURRALDO RUBERA

(Editor's Note: Due to the writers' strike, this exile has asked to
remain anonymous so as not to be beaten by others. -Para)

Hearts of Tan clan leader "Kamikazi" Karkras has been missing for
almost two zodiacs and is believed to have been abducted. Clan members
Athala and Balm have found what appear to be signs of a struggle in the
skinning section of the advanced library where the Fen was last seen.

Balm, an ex-sailor in the Thoom Navy, relates his tale of discovery;

"I were a-driftin' through the library when off to starboard I spys
Karkras' shield. "Avast!," sez I, "Thar be a sign of foul weather!" So
I hoist 'er aboard and sail over to the clan meetin' to show 'er to me
mates."

Athala, a pacifist healer and devout follower of Gaia, found a crusty
scab of "orga mange" in the same area of library.

"It was sooo gross, I just couldn't touch it! I had to borrow a pair of
long wooden tongs to pick it up! Ummm... Would you like to see it?"

This reporter respectfully declined.

Initially some members of the clan suspected that the abduction was the
work of Tenebrion. However, Tenebrion has stated that neither he nor
his brothers are involved with Karkras* disappearance. No ransom demand
has been forthcoming.

Confidential sources state that Karkras' background is mysterious and
somehow connected to Fire Island. He was known to explore this
dangerous region obsessively for clues to his clouded past.

Upon hearing of Karkras' disappearance the clan immediately conducted a
massive manhunt on Fire Island. Clan members say the hunt was hastily
organized and, predictably, the effort stumbled and fell in short
order. In the end however, the Tans were able to rescue their own
without the aid of an outside army.

Rugur "the Cougar", one of the clan's four remaining council members,
was interviewed at Cairo's pub in South Puddleby. Instead of making a
plea for public assistance, Rugur growled, "We don't need no outsiders
snoopin' around. We Tanhearts take care of our own. This is personal."
When asked how a newbie mob like the "Hearts of Tan" expected to solve
this mystery all by themselves the surly Fen snarled, "Read our
scrolls, Pencil-Neck!" and rudely pushed this reporter out of the pub.

At their cozy Fen'neko den located on the outskirts of Puddleby,
Karkras' wife Nettle gently touched a braided necklace of dark red fur
as she told of her missing husband.

"He was so uneasy lately. He kept having nightmares about tunneling
out of a dungeon. Then one night he didn't come home for his favorite
dinner." Although still young, strong, and attractive, Nettle suddenly
looked as if eight of her lives had been stripped away.

"I told him to be careful, but that's just not his way." Nettle's ears
drooped forlornly and her large eyes welled up with tears. The
interview could not continue.

#####
PROBLEMS IN PURGATORY
BY J'JH

(Editor's Note: J'jh recently posted these notes about pendants in town
square. I scribbled them down and present them here for my readers. -
Para)

2/10/01 2:49:51a • Your purgatory pendant vibrates.
2/10/01 2:50:04a Galadriel thinks, "anyone else pendant just vibrate?"
2/10/01 2:51:40a Galadriel thinks to you, ""• Your purgatory pendant
vibrates." that ever happen to you?"
2/10/01 2:52:11a You think to Galadriel, "wow! no, only flickers
sometime"
2/10/01 2:53:40a J'jh says, "Hi, Galadriel (-:"
2/10/01 2:53:41a Galadriel thinks, "Sir Tenebrion, I would be pleased
if you left the bonds of my pendant to purgatory well enough alone!"
2/10/01 2:53:51a Galadriel says, "Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am
conducting some minor research. The vibrations you felt were a
strengthening of the bonds your pendant has to purgatory.""
2/10/01 2:53:57a Thuja says, "Nothing unusual in purg"
2/10/01 2:53:57a Galadriel says, "The vibrations you felt were a
strengthening of the bonds your pendant has to purgatory.""
2/10/01 2:54:09a Galadriel says, "hmmm"
2/10/01 2:54:14a Galadriel says, "most unusual"
2/10/01 2:54:19a J'jh ponders, "strengthening he?"
2/10/01 2:54:25a Tenebrion thinks, "I am repairing the damage caused by
the unknown force."
2/10/01 2:54:36a J'jh ponders, "do we beleive that?"
2/10/01 2:54:48a Galadriel says, "ummm, no"
2/10/01 2:54:56a J'jh asks, "i try?"
2/10/01 2:54:59a You equip your Purgatory pendant.
2/10/01 2:55:03a J'jh attempts to project into another plane.
2/10/01 2:55:09a J'jh says, "nothing"
2/10/01 2:55:14a • Your pendant binds you more tightly to this plane
while you wear it.
2/10/01 2:55:51a You think to Galadriel, "where were you when you used
it?"
2/10/01 2:56:26a Galadriel thinks to you, "s of scout, and I did not
use it at all, just wearing it"
2/10/01 2:56:39a You think to Galadriel, "really!?"
2/10/01 2:57:29a You think to Galadriel, "ack, now i see it, mine did
too! wasnt even equipped!"
2/10/01 3:00:11a You think to Tenebrion, "does my pendant NEED a
stronger bond with purg?"
2/10/01 3:01:05a You think to Tenebrion, "or, rephrasing the question,
can it be bonded to another plane?"
2/10/01 3:01:42a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Exactly the nature of my
research. I am endeavoring to determine precisely that question."
2/10/01 3:03:25a You think to Tenebrion, "i am in purge now, could that
help your research?"
2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:07:06a You think to Tenebrion, "what was that? didnt seem
very scholar like..."
2/10/01 3:07:42a Tenebrion thinks to you, "What was what?"
2/10/01 3:07:50a You think to Tenebrion, "2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel
the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end."
2/10/01 3:08:21a You think to Tenebrion, "that wasnt you?"
2/10/01 3:08:43a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am manipulating my own
pendant."
2/10/01 3:09:15a You think to Tenebrion, "so no idea what caused that
strange message?"
2/10/01 3:09:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Message?"
2/10/01 3:10:22a You think to Tenebrion, "heh come on! I repeat the
message :2/10/01 3:04:43a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck
stand on end."
2/10/01 3:10:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Interesting. Are you still
in purgatory?"
2/10/01 3:11:03a You think to Tenebrion, "yes..."
2/10/01 3:11:13a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Do you feel it when I do
this?"
2/10/01 3:11:28a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:11:43a You think to Tenebrion, "yes! same message!"
2/10/01 3:11:58a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Fascinating."
2/10/01 3:12:17a You think to Tenebrion, "/ponder you can say that
again.."
2/10/01 3:13:41a You think to Tenebrion, "your pendants dont break
anymore?"
2/10/01 3:14:04a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have one which has so far
remained unbroken."
2/10/01 3:14:39a You think to Tenebrion, "hmm.. and can you project
yourself to purg?"
2/10/01 3:14:52a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have not tried."
2/10/01 3:15:13a You think to Tenebrion, "please do (-:"
2/10/01 3:15:55a You think to Tenebrion, "and what else can you do with
it?"
2/10/01 3:16:28a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I am trying to detach it
from purgatory and direct it to allow me to travel elsewhere."
2/10/01 3:16:57a You think to Tenebrion, "Now that is something i would
be very interested in (-:"
2/10/01 3:18:27a You think to Tenebrion, "and what did you do to raise
the hairs in my neck? hehe (-:"
2/10/01 3:19:12a You think to Tenebrion, "ok. lets get seriuos, what
can i do to help your reseach?"
2/10/01 3:19:26a Tenebrion thinks to you, "When I bring the pendant
close to an object I have in my possession it seems to create some
reaction."
2/10/01 3:20:15a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. what object would that
be?"
2/10/01 3:20:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The more pendants I have to
work with the more research I can undertake."
2/10/01 3:21:04a • You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on
end.
2/10/01 3:21:09a Tenebrion thinks to you, "This object."
2/10/01 3:21:33a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. thats not the kind of
answer i was waitin for........yeah that did it again (-:"
2/10/01 3:22:29a You think to Tenebrion, "ok maybe you can help me with
this.. i got 12 crystal parts..."
2/10/01 3:22:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The crystals have nothing to
do with it. You should not have them. They are dangerous."
2/10/01 3:23:55a You think to Tenebrion, "in the locker rooms so they
dont vanish...is there anything to do with them without danger?"
2/10/01 3:25:19a You think to Tenebrion, "and what is that danger?"
2/10/01 3:27:08a You think to Tenebrion, "i planned to give them to 11
others and 'use' them at the same time...."
2/10/01 3:27:38a You think to Tenebrion, "or... take all 12 of them to
purge..."
2/10/01 3:27:53a •The Sun rises.
2/10/01 3:27:59a You think to Tenebrion, "you think there are dangers
there?"
2/10/01 3:38:02a You think to Tenebrion, "plan was to take 11 others
(clanmates) to the lockers and give them all 1 part, then all use it.."
2/10/01 3:44:53a Tenebrion thinks to you, "More pendants will assist me
in discovering a means to redirect the location to which they open."
2/10/01 3:46:39a You think to Tenebrion, "so you think the pendant can
be used for other planes.... the logical question is, what other planes
are there?"
2/10/01 3:47:04a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The one which interests me
the most is the ethereal plane."
2/10/01 3:47:43a Tenebrion thinks to you, "A small journey there can
result in a huge distance on this plane."
2/10/01 3:48:51a You think to Tenebrion, "ah.. that sounds interesting!
maybe you can try to project ME to that plane?"
2/10/01 3:52:48a You think to Tenebrion, "or...is there anything i can
try to project me to that plane?"
2/10/01 3:58:07a You think to Tenebrion, "dont fall asleep (-:"
2/10/01 3:58:07a You concentrate on sending your message to Tenebrion.
2/10/01 3:58:30a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I had to mediate to consider
a problem."
2/10/01 3:59:07a You think to Tenebrion, "(-: you got my last 2
questions?"
2/10/01 3:59:37a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Which were?"
2/10/01 4:00:42a You think to Tenebrion, "1: "ah.. that sounds
interesting! maybe you can try to project ME to that plane?" 2:
"or...is there anything i can try to project me to that plane?""
2/10/01 4:01:17a Tenebrion thinks to you, "I have a private entrance. I
believe there are other entrances which may be found."
2/10/01 4:02:19a You think to Tenebrion, "??? entrances? entrance to
what?"
2/10/01 4:02:38a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The ethereal plane."
2/10/01 4:03:59a You think to Tenebrion, "ahhhh.... a private
entrance... not using the pendant for that?"
2/10/01 4:04:33a Tenebrion thinks to you, "My entrance is fixed on both
this plane and on the ethereal plane."
2/10/01 4:04:48a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.."
2/10/01 4:05:22a You think to Tenebrion, "and how does the pendant fit
in this?"
2/10/01 4:05:22a You concentrate on sending your message to Tenebrion.
2/10/01 4:05:55a Tenebrion thinks to you, "In centuries of research the
pendant is the first artifact I have found that provides a portable
portal."
2/10/01 4:06:11a Tenebrion thinks to you, "You may open a portal from
anywhere!"
2/10/01 4:07:10a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Imagine a device which you
could use to travel to anywhere on the ethereal plane, and from there
to anywhere on this plane!"
2/10/01 4:07:58a You think to Tenebrion, "hm.. that realy sounds great!
isnt it called a purg pendant for some reason?"
2/10/01 4:08:47a You think to Tenebrion, "healers would really love it!
(-:"
2/10/01 4:08:56a Tenebrion thinks to you, "It is difficult to determine
how they work, but I believe they can be detached from purgatory."
2/10/01 4:09:20a You think to Tenebrion, "wow! that would really be
great!"
2/10/01 4:09:44a Tenebrion thinks to you, "Did you feel that!?"
2/10/01 4:10:03a Tenebrion thinks, "Did any other pendant holders feel
that force?"
2/10/01 4:10:23a You think to Tenebrion, "hmm.. i dont think so?...."
2/10/01 4:10:41a Tenebrion thinks to you, "The unknown force has
returned. I must hide."
2/10/01 4:11:11a You think to Tenebrion, "???? i didnt notice
anything?"
2/10/01 4:11:12a Tenebrion is not in the lands.

#####
LETTER FROM CHARLOS

(Editor's Note: Like other Fishwrap writers, Charlos has been
faithfully adhering to the writers' strike. Fortunately, this letter to
his fellow exiles fell out of his knapsack the other day, and I was
able to grab it and rush it to my printing press before he found out.
He's banging on the front door now, but I'm sure he'll go away
eventually. -Para)

'lo bruddas and sistahs,

I began interviewing exiles and investigating scrolls concerning
the Nox Sorora some zodiacs ago with a bias, determined to find evil.
Instead I found the likes of Indigo and others like her who have proven
themselves to be valuable members of the community. Although there are
those few idiots (as there must be in every organization), they are, by
and large, a decent bunch. The only glaring example of the possibility
of evil intent which I could find was Lilit.
Most of my feelings concerning Lilit are based on personal
interactions with her and various dunces operating under her influence.
These imbeciles, without any individual personality or clue as to their
place in the world, latched on to her deranged delusions to give
themselves a purpose. Sad though these dorks may be, floundering about
the cavern, they, and she as well, are relatively innocuous. However
harmless she may seem, the position taken by the Nox Sorora in regards
to Lilit, albeit moot due to her absence from the lands, forbids me
from taking any steps to ally myself with or befriend them as an
organization.
These are my personal views and sentiments established from my own
experience in exile and the biased and slanted teachings of my Uncle
Dizzle. For quite some time now, I have let my individual conceptions
of right and wrong overcome my duty to my clan and responsibility to my
clan brethren. I have been a hypocritical fool and have made an ass of
myself once again. The way of the Elephant is sometimes blundering and
oblivious (especially after a few kegs of beer), stomping even those
dearest underfoot with insensitivity. Equally representative of the
Great and Noble Elephant is the quality of tolerance and objectivity,
which I have recently failed to embody.
In regards to those who embrace the Nox Sorora as your true
calling, I give you the benefit of the doubt. For those who stand
against the followers of Night, I offer you a comrade in arms should
the need arise. In particular I would address those who care not for
this issue but who have been drawn into the conflict by the stubborn
and unseeing: I'm sorry.

Charlos

#####
FISHWRAP CLASSIC
YESTERDAY'S NEWS TODAY: CRIPPLER INTERVIEWS MI'SEIL AND CLAM CHOWDER

(In the search for something new to print during this writers' strike,
I got down on all 4 flippers and shuffled through the papers and
whatnot on the floor underneath my desk. The good news is that I found
an unpublished submission by Crippler. The bad news is that it's rather
old (last I heard, Clam Chowder vanished some time ago) and also some
parts were unreadable due to rips or stains in the paper. Still, news
is news! -Para)

Mi'seil says in Thoom, "we were just having some dinner."
Clam Chowder exclaims in Thoom, "Thoom!"
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "hi Crippler"
Clam Chowder asks in Thoom, "What's this interview for?"
Clam Chowder is a Thoom, is female, is a Healer, and is not wearing the
symbol of any clan.
She is holding a moonstone.
(Around her neck is a necklace made of small clam shells.)
Mi'seil says in Thoom, "It's for fishwrap magazine."
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "Magazine, ok"
Mi'seil says in Thoom, "well first I'd like to announce that I'm
engaged."
Crippler says, "lets see"
(Clam Chowder shows Crippler her ring)
Crippler says, "oh cool"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler asks, "you like it?"
Clam Chowder exclaims in Thoom, "Yes, very much so!"
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "He say it's magical too.."
Clam Chowder says in Thoom, "Has a baby moonstone in it."
Crippler says, "I got Anya one some time ago"
Crippler says, "before she was 2nd circle"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler says, "she likes it now"
Clam Chowder says, "I hope to be 2nd circle soon"
Crippler says, "that she has trained in it"

(unreadable due to tartar sauce stain)

Clam Chowder says, "But the giant ones just keep getting to me
first..."
Crippler says, "aye"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Crippler says, "they bite hard"
Clam Chowder says, "People loan me shield when I try, that helps too."
Crippler says, "aye"
Mi'seil says, "I'll loan you anything you need."
Clam Chowder ponders, "I'm gunna need full body armour next time!"
Crippler says, "lets talk about how you two first met"
Mi'seil says, "well"
Clam Chowder says, "I remember it"
Mi'seil asks, "you go first?"
Clam Chowder says, "I was sitting in the garden just south of town
square"
Clam Chowder says, "Talking to Malkor and Snow and a bunch of people."
Clam Chowder says, "I can't remember them all.."
Clam Chowder says, "Then Mi'seil talked to me too"
Clam Chowder says, "And he offered me some fish oil"
Crippler asks, "so you had just arrived on the island at the time?"
Clam Chowder says, "I drank about three glasses..."
Clam Chowder says, "Well, I had been on the island for two days I
think."
(Crippler nods)
Clam Chowder says, "Maybe less, maybe more."
Mi'seil says, "I felt bad that she didn't even have a warm place to
sleep."
Clam Chowder says, "I don't remember if I still had the grey clothes or
not."
Crippler says, "yea, those tend to fade"
(Clam Chowder nods)
Clam Chowder says, "He offered me his guest house when I had to go"
Crippler says, "must have been confusing for you when you got here"
Clam Chowder says, "yes yes, very"
Crippler asks, "besides Mi'seil who else helped show you around?"
Clam Chowder says, "I still don't know alot about many things"
Clam Chowder says, "Snow was a big help before I met Mi'seil"
Clam Chowder says, "And two big Zo's, I don't remember their names."
(Crippler nods)
Mi'seil says, "She cooks good food."

(rip in the paper makes text unreadable here)

Clam Chowder says, "Not really, just clam chowder"
Crippler asks, "So what made you decide to learn the art of healing?"
Clam Chowder says, "Well, when I first got here i was housed in
Agratis..."
Clam Chowder says, "There is where I picked up healing"
Clam Chowder says, "I had no interest in being a fighter.."
Clam Chowder says, "And people say mystic is too hard, I was up to the
challenge but many discouraged me from that."
Clam Chowder exclaims, "So here I am!"
Clam Chowder says, "A very slow healer :)"
Mi'seil says, "I discouraged her."
Crippler asks, "why was that?"
Clam Chowder says, "Not you, other people even before I met you"
Clam Chowder says, "I was asking alot of people what a mystic was"
Chef Haricot says, "My nephew, you know, he hatches the grand schemes."
Clam Chowder says, "They didn't really give me a straight answer, they
just kept saying, "No, no no no don't be a mystic no no mystics suck!""
(Crippler laughs)
Mi'seil says, "because I don't want to have to compete with her."
Clam Chowder says, "Malkor was one of them I think"
Crippler says, "heh"
Crippler says, "aye"
Crippler says, "Malkor is insane"
Clam Chowder says, "Well.."
Clam Chowder says, "umm.."
Clam Chowder says, "No comment."
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Crippler says, "good idea"
Mi'seil says, "Master Malkor is a fine man."
Crippler says, "yes he is"

(hole in the text here from a giant vermine bite)

Mi'seil says, "…"
Crippler says, "very helpfull"
Mi'seil says, "I think I'll agree with her."
Clam Chowder says, "Besides the fact he told me alot of bad things
about Mi'seil, I think he was just looking out for me."
Clam Chowder says, "His heart was in the right place.. but his head was
somewhere else.."
Mi'seil asks, "what did he tell you about me?"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "Where I do not know!"
Clam Chowder says, "umm"
Clam Chowder says, "uhhh"
(Mi'seil flutters unhappily.)
Clam Chowder says, "No comment."
Crippler asks, "So what did you think of Mi'seil after meeting him?"
Clam Chowder says, "Well..."
Clam Chowder says, "hehe"
(Clam Chowder thinks)
Clam Chowder says, "He was nice, and sweet.."
Mi'seil says, "don't worry I won't pay attention to what you say too
much."
Clam Chowder says, "But I think he felt that everything he did was
wrong"
Clam Chowder says, "It made me feel uneasy"
Crippler says, "hmmm"
Clam Chowder says, "Like if I did something to upset him he would
explode"
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Crippler says, "oh my"
Crippler exclaims, "!"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "But I think he was just as nervous as I was!"
Crippler asks, "tell me about your first date?"
(Clam Chowder lets Mi'seil talk)
(Clam Chowder sips on her clam juice.)
Mi'seil says, "well I think we went to smugglers rest."
Clam Chowder says, "We had trouble getting there though"
Mi'seil says, "I tried to kiss her and I think I almost got dumped."
Clam Chowder says, "He said to me that he wanted to show me a pretty
beach"
Clam Chowder says, "On the way there he fell and I got lost chased by
vermines and lobsters"
Clam Chowder says, "I was real scared"
Clam Chowder says, "I even saw this giant lobster"
Mi'seil exclaims, "I fell a lot!"
Clam Chowder says, "He told me to look for a boat but I could not find
it"
Mi'seil says, "and I though she might make fun of me."
Clam Chowder asks, "Why?"
Clam Chowder shows her sylphstone ring to everyone.
Crippler asks, "But you both made it there ok?"
Clam Chowder says, "ummmm"
Mi'seil says, "well I fell a lot"
Clam Chowder says, "Well eventually yes"
Mi'seil says, "and I had to be healed."
Mi'seil says, "and I kept hoping she wouldn't laugh."
Clam Chowder says, "But when we got there, it was almost as dangerouse
as getting there"
Clam Chowder says, "A big giant wave crashed into us"
Clam Chowder says, "Thoom"
Mi'seil says, "that parts actually wasn't my fault."
Crippler asks, "So whats next for you two?"
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Clam Chowder says, "Well I think we get married when he plans a date
and stuff :)"
Crippler exclaims, "oh !"
(Clam Chowder sips on her clam juice.)
Crippler asks, "what kind of weeding are you gonna have?"
Mi'seil asks, "huh?"
Crippler asks, "what kind of weding are you gonna have?"
Clam Chowder says, "Whatever kind he wants"
Mi'seil asks, "date? I thought we just went on one?"
(Mi'seil thinks for a moment)
(Clam Chowder giggles)
Mi'seil says, "oh yes a wedding date"
Clam Chowder says, "nono silly, a date for the wedding"
Mi'seil says, "umm"
Crippler asks, "Is it gonna be a large ceremony?"
Clam Chowder says, "If he wants one"
Mi'seil ponders, "suddenly all the pressure is on me."
Clam Chowder says, "I want to invite all my friends, I don't have many
but I hope they can come."
Mi'seil says, "if it was up to me we'd elope because thats easier to
plan, but friends are nice."
Crippler says, "I'm sure you can come up with some guest"
Clam Chowder says, "I not sure how the wedding stuff works, so I leave
it up to him"
Crippler says, "Aye, i had a wedding planed but wound up eloping"
Mi'seil says, "the papers cost 50 coins a person."
Crippler says, "anyway"
Clam Chowder ponders, "I always wanted to know what its like in a bride
gown"

(text blurred from lemon juice spill)

Clam Chowder asks, "Its strange, people keep asking me if I am Boston..
who is Boston?"
Mi'seil says, "I think they are just drunk."
Clam Chowder says, "oh"
Crippler says, "maybe its another island"
Clam Chowder says, "I had one guy come up to me thinking I was a 3rd
circler"
Crippler asks, "what did he ask?"
Clam Chowder says, "It's strange here"
Clam Chowder says, "was the other day"
Clam Chowder says, "I was just about to go take my test"
Clam Chowder says, "He asked if I was taking 4th circle test"
Clam Chowder says, "I told him I was only 1st circle"
Mi'seil exclaims, "I have good news!"
Crippler says, "whats that Mi'seil"
Mi'seil says, "well I kissed her for the second time today and this
time she didn't make a face."
Clam Chowder says, "I never made a face before"
Crippler exclaims, "great!"
Clam Chowder ponders, "Did I?"
Crippler says, "that's progress"
Clam Chowder says, "No no hes got it all backwards"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "I kissed him today!"
Clam Chowder says, "First, anyway"
Mi'seil says, "the first time I kissed you I thought I was getting
dumped."
Clam Chowder says, "Well I was still confused then"
Mi'seil says, "but I love you and I will do anything for you."
(Clam Chowder smiles)
(Crippler): How sweet
Clam Chowder says, "He's always this sweet"
Crippler says, "I wish you two the best of luck"
Clam Chowder says, "He holds doors open and everything"
Crippler says, "and keep us posted on the wedding date"
Clam Chowder says, "I tell him he don't got to do all that"
Clam Chowder exclaims, "Ok Crippler!"
Crippler says, "Mi'seil is a fine thoom"
Clam Chowder says, "I agree"
Crippler says, "you're very lucky"
(Clam Chowder smiles)
Mi'seil says, "Good-day."
Clam Chowder says, "I hope we answered all your questions"
Mi'seil says, "Thank you, I know I am with her around."
Crippler says, "bye"
(Clam Chowder waves)
(Crippler waves in a thoomy manner.)

#####
LESSER ASTRAL DRAKE STALKING PURGATORY
BY ALTHEA THE SYLVAN

(Editor's Note: Althea slipped this under my door just before this
issue went to press, so perhaps the strike is over. -Para)

About a zodiac ago, I was in town, feeling rather bored.

The mystics began to chatter on the sunstone about a strange emanation
coming from purgatory. Having nothing better to do, I decided to go
investigate. I went to the west beach, threw myself into the surf and
fell. I shared a few of the mystics and departed.

I popped into purgatory and at first glance it seemed normal. My
troilus training allowed me to heal up a bit. Then I heard the sizzle
and crack of lightning and I fell to a bolt of white. The mystics
began to speak of Althea falling to lightning in purgatory. So I
departed once more and again, the sizzle and I fell. As I lay fallen, I
looked about and suddenly, to the north of me, I saw it!

It moved slowly... flapping its blue grey- leathery wings, turning its
preternatural head first one way, then the other, as it continued to
hunt for prey. It was approximately 1/3 to 1/2 the size of a Forest
Drake and much more primitive in appearance. It paused above me, and I
could see a cold gleam in its dark eye as it considered me. I lay very
still and it moved on its way then, out of my line of sight.

Suddenly, I heard the sizzle again, and cry of Johan as he fell
somewhere out of my sight.

Grasping my sword, I departed once more and suddenly there it was next
to me! Although I was dangously low on health I swung a blow at it,
striking into its rear leg. It gave a cry and each blow resounded with
a sizzle of lightning, tho' I was not struck. It tried to move away
from me, but I followed, landing a second and third blow. Grasping my
sword with both hands, I landed the last blow and slaughtered the
Lesser Astral Drake.

I yelled for Johan, and found him. Axell then came into Purgatory to
help him out. We were talking about the goings on -- as I had recently
experienced the bad feelings of a number of exiles, I was able to move
about purgatory freely without popping into the temple. Axell left
purgatory, and Johan and I continued to chat. As we were talking, a
great wave of energy passed through our bodies We were marvelling at
that when suddenly, we all fell dead.

Mystics reported that purgatory had just released a great wave of
energy. I assume that was what felled us without a sound. After being
healed again by the vigilant Axell, we looked about for a bit. Spying
no more strange beings in purgatory, we left for the temple.

I shudder to consider if the Lesser Astral Drake has a bigger cousin. I
write this so that all exiles may be vigilant.

Day 90 of Autumn, Year 540.
Althea of Redwood
Fightergrrl, Pogue Mahone

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"The Witch Is Back": The New Prue Interview, coming right at you
"Behind the Mystic"

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Jeanne, Koric, K'Pyn, Monolith, Norm, Prue, Slyph, Tuan, Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/

"I say 'Sssss!' in the morning,
'Sssss!' in the afternoon.
Yes, I do, to all my snake friends."
- Sammy the Snake (he looks and sounds just like the letter "S")