"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover feral
fajitas with it in the afternoon"
Issue #25: The Artak, the Witch, and the Dorf Probe
[December 9, 2000]
Circulation: 120

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Deadmeat: <http://www.sundragonclan.com/Sor/Deadmeat.html>
* Mac-arena the Zo: <http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/>
* Worg the Zo: <http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/>
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Thooms preparing for festive Thoomas party
* Tenebrion's guards revolt

brought to you by Norm:
* Tenebrion asks exiles for help against his rebellious guards
* Darshak involved with the rebellion
* Demand increases for beer ingredients
* Orga Camp raids continue
* Ma Tota and the magical mystery tor
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
<http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers. Advertising rates are quite affordable.
Your ad will be read by well over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH TERE THE WITCH

(Paramedic thinks an interview with a witch would be a fine scoop for
the Fishwrap.)
Paramedic asks, "Tere, would you like to be interviewed for the
Fishwrap?"
Tere says, "sure Paramedic."
Paramedic says, "Excellent."
Tere asks, "will it take long?"
Paramedic says, "Naah"
Paramedic says, "There are 5 questions."
Paramedic asks, "1) What is it like being a witch?"
Tere asks, "does it pay well?"
Paramedic says, "Well you get free publicity"
Tere says, "you might as well ask me what it's not like."
Tere asks, "how do I answer that?"
Tere says, "it should be profitable."
Paramedic says, "it is, in a fashion"
Paramedic says, "you'll attract more attention"
Tere says, "alright..."
(Soulmaster drops a little bunny rabbit next to Tere, to see if she
will ruthlessly slaughter it, with no compassion for life)
(Soulmaster runs)
(Tere picks up the bunny and puts it in her pack)
Tere ponders, "for later"
Paramedic says, "1) What does it mean to be a witch (to put it
differently)"
Soulmaster ponders, "I bet she if gonna skin it alive with Babbs!"
Tere says, "it means you live your life with Benevolence"
(Tere exudes benevolence)
Paramedic says, "But witches aren't known for doing good things"
Tere says, "I do many good things"
Paramedic asks, "such as?"
Tere says, "I loaned Malkor coin"
Tere says, "I allow people to feel good by helping out a poor needy
witch"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic asks, "what other witch-duties are there?"
Tere says, "reflecting the souls that are around you."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Tere says, "we have more mundane duties of course..."
Paramedic asks, "such as?"
Tere says, "Una must be beaten daily, for example."
Paramedic says, "that sounds bad"
Tere says, "not at all."
Paramedic says, "hrm."
Tere says, "its good for the back."
(Tere shows her back)
Tere asks, "see how muscular?"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I see"
Tere says, "you don't get that by coddling Una"
Paramedic says, "OK...."
Paramedic asks, "2) So you aren't evil personified?"
Tere asks, "moi?"
Paramedic says, "yeah you"
Tere says, "of course not. who told you such a silly thing."
Paramedic says, "that's the general consensus"
Tere says, "its bigotry"
Tere says, "if I had a visionstone of my first day back on the isle..."
(Paramedic listens)
Tere says, "nothing but cruelty from the town"
Paramedic asks, "So you think there is witch-discrimination in
Puddleby?"
Tere says, "absolutely."
Wrath says, "nothing wrong with witches..."
(Soulmaster drops a chocolate coin in Tere's "bag")
Tere says, "consider: a witch can't win in court here"
Soulmaster ponders, "I'm too generous"
(Tere hisses at Soulmaster)
Tere says, "go away short and feeble one."
(Soulmaster puts a biscuit in Tere's mouth)
Tigger says, "Bah Prue won against me."
Tigger says, "Of course she bribed the jurors."
Tere asks, "see what I mean?"
Paramedic asks, "3) Why do people have such bad ideas of witches, do
you think?"
Groan ponders, "what's discriminating about burning witches?"
Tere says, "I can't be interviewed without harassment"
Bones exclaims, "you can't escape me!"
Soulmaster ponders, "no respect"
Tere says, "one exile even tried to torch my sister in town."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Soulmaster ponders, "I give her my last chocolate copper, and I don't
even get a thank you"
Tere says, "she was standing there."
igger says, "Well when one sees a witch, and some nice dry wood nearby
the temptation is too great."
Tere says, "so you see... being a witch is not an easy thing."
Paramedic says, "I see."
Soulmaster ponders, "it's because she weighed as much as a duck,
obviously"
Paramedic says, "hrm"
Tere says, "yet we have been around for a long long time."
Paramedic asks, "Why are there no thoom or fen witches?"
(Tere shrugs)
Tere asks, "no skill for it?"
Tigger ponders, "a Fen witch...preposterous!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Tere says, "dunno."
Mayo says, "I would be a witch if I was a transvestite"
Tere says, "I was born to it."
Paramedic says, "Interesting question though"
Bones says, "le Tiggre"
Tere says, "I'm just a poor workingclass witch"
Tigger says, "Hiya Bonesey"
Mayo asks, "really?"
(Tere shows her empty pockets)
(Tigger tosses Bones a cream-filled fishy treat.)
Paramedic asks, "Do you ever think about changing people's perceptions
of witches?"
Bones exclaims, "yum!"
(Bones gobbles)
Tere says, "sure. give it to me and I'll cook it."
Tigger says, "Don't eat it too fast or you will grow fur."
Tere asks, "changing their perceptions?"
Bones says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "yeah"
Tigger says, "At least that's what happened to me."
Paramedic says, "mounting a public relations campaign"
Paramedic says, "convince people that witches are ok"
Tere says, "people like something to hate."
Tere says, "I guess we give them that."
Tere has 34 good and 4 bad karma.
Tere is a Sylvan, is female, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of
the Sisters of Benevolence.
She is holding a moonstone.
(She is a Harpy. She loves children.)
Tere says, "it makes them feel... holy or something"
Paramedic says, "I see"
Paramedic says, "So you are resigned to your fate"
Tere says, "we were here before exiles came"
Tere says, "we will be here after they leave."
Paramedic says, "I see,"
Paramedic says, "very interesting."
(Tere rocks a lil)
Paramedic asks, "4) Do you have any advice for exiles?"
Tere says, "oh yes."
Tere says, "lesseee.."
Tere says, "Keep Prue Green..."
Tere says, "Stay on the good side of a Witch"
Paramedic asks, "Is Prue technically a witch?"
Tere says, "well... she's a crone."
Tere says, "Witch is a broader term..."
Tere says, "applies to all of the Sisters of Benevolence"
(Tere exudes benevolence)
J'nder ponders, "zzzzzzzzz.."
Paramedic asks, "5) What do you think of lilit and the undine?"
(Tere shrugs)
Tere says, "I don't consider her much..."
Paramedic asks, "She's not a rival to witches?"
Tere says, "she seems to fancy herself to have some power or
something."
Tere says, "not really."
Johan says, "what about Tenebrion"
Paramedic asks, "Yes, what is the witchy position on Tenebrion?"
Tere says, "I don't speak for all witches."
(Paramedic nods)
Tere says, "I only speak for Tere."
Paramedic asks, "What do you know of Tenebrion then?"
Tere says, "not much. just what folks babble about in town."
Johan exclaims, "he is evil!"
Tere says, "personally, I think they should charge him a lot more for
purg pendants"
Tere says, "and of course..."
Paramedic says, "Yeah that seemed like a fire sale price to me too"
Tere says, "it would be better to give them to witches."
Paramedic says, "Well, in keeping with a long tradition, at the end of
the interview, you are now allowed to"
Paramedic says, "ask the Thoom ONE (1) question"
Tere asks, "What do Thooms taste like?"
Paramedic says, "I haven't tried one."
Paramedic says, "but I expect we're a tad salty"
Mayo says, "Thoom taste like calimari"
Tere says, "you look kinda tuff"
(Johan chews on Paramedic)
(Tere pinches Paramedic)
Paramedic exclaims, "Gah!"
Tere says, "yeah..."
Johan says, "owie my teef"
Johan says, "owwwwww the pain"
Johan says, "toof ache"
Paramedic says, "Poor Johan bit into my notebook"
Paramedic says, "Anyway, thank you for taking the time for the
interview"
Johan says, "your solid silver notebook"
Tere says, "hope he didn't bite out any of my pearls of wisdome"
(Tere cackles)
Johan says, "nah"
Johan says, "BLAGG"
Paramedic says, "I may need to make him an appointment with Merlisk the
dentist"
Tere asks, "got any coins for me?"
(Tere shows her empty pockets)
You hand Tere 5 coins. You have 32 remaining.
Paramedic says, "another interview in the can"
Tere says, "Para"
Tere asks, "will you edit this in?"
Paramedic says, "sure"
Tere says, "what you give to a Witch, comes back to you 1000-fold"
Devil ponders, "except coins"
Tere asks, "got it?"
Bones yells, "Thoom"
Paramedic says, "got it"
Tere says, "now to return to my hut and do some cooking"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "ok"
Paramedic says, "and on that cryptic note, Tere left."
Devil says, "bye bye Tere"
Tere is no longer Clanning.

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

New look! New structure! More links than ever before! It's the all new

World's Greatest Collection of Clan Lord Links!

<http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/collection.html>

brought to you by Worg the Zo

#####
INSIDE THE DENTIST'S CHAIR
MERLISK THE THOOM: DENTIST AT WORK

Fishwrap is proud to present this transcript of town dentist Merlisk on
his rounds.

Johan says, "Merlisk"
Johan asks, "are you a dentist?"
Merlisk says, "aye"
Mayo says, "hehe"
Johan says, "cuz my teef broke"
Merlisk says, "uh oh"
Merlisk asks, "You covered by ThoomCare™?"
(Johan shows his chipped teef)
Johan says, "Paramedic can I get a dentist appointment"
Paramedic says, "He accidentally bit my notebook"
Merlisk says, "oh"
Johan says, "OWIE THAT HURT"
Merlisk asks, "The first Fishwrap injury?"
Merlisk says, "Worse than a paper cut"
Merlisk says, "Open wide, Johan"
(Merlisk looks)
Paramedic says, "Indeed this is the first Fishwrap related injury"
(Johan opens his mouth)
Merlisk says, "yep...chipped thooth"
Merlisk asks, "want a cap?"
(Merlisk pokes the chipped thooth with his pick)
Johan says, "GIAG NIHt heonly"
Johan says, "OWWW"
Merlisk asks, "dat hurt?"
(Paramedic records this for Fishwrap)
Johan says, "OWWW"
Merlisk ponders, "yep...that's the right one"
Merlisk says, "good....I'd hate to cap the wrong one"
Merlisk says, "okay...keep yer mouth wide open"
(Johan keeps mouth open)
(Rael the Squonk wonders, am I hot or not?)
(Merlisk dabs some pain numbin' ointment (from Apocthecary) by the
chipped thooth)
Mayo says, "hey Rael"
Johan yells, "OWWwwWWWW!"
(Paramedic): NOW IN FISHWRAP: LIVE SURGICAL PROCEDURES
(Rael the Squonk snickers.)
Merlisk shows his arachnoid teeth to everyone.
Johan exclaims, "OWIE!"
Paramedic says, "This is the first time we've had live coverage of
something like this"
Merlisk says, "Okay...I'm gonna cap it with a Noid thooth"
Rael the Squonk says, "Ow."
Merlisk exclaims, "Hold still!"
(Paramedic takes notes frantically)
Rael the Squonk asks, "What is going on here?"
Johan says, "teef ache"
(Merlisk takes the Noid thooth and files it to match the chipped area)
Rael the Squonk says, "Bad Zo hygiene."
Johan says, "nope"
Johan says, "a bad notebook"
(Paramedic): It seems that Merlisk has an entire flipper in Johan's
mouth.
(Merlisk starts to clean Johan's mouth near the thooth)
Paramedic says, "he bit my notebook"
Merlisk exclaims, "hold still, I say!"
Rael the Squonk asks, "Isn't it made of pure neutronium?"
Paramedic says, "it's in a silver case"
(Merlisk puts glue on the new Noid thooth and firmly places it on
Johan's chipped thooth)
Rael the Squonk says, "oh"
Merlisk says, "Now...let this dry"
Johan says, "ahhhh that feels better"
Merlisk says, "Don't drink anythin'"
Paramedic says, "Impressive"
Johan says, "ota"
Merlisk says, "for at least 2 hours"
Bones asks, "Paramedic, care to assist me with the next surgery?"
Paramedic asks, "What's the next one?"
Johan says, "GAHGAAsj"
(Merlisk has another successful dentist customer)
Bones says, "we are going to neuter this artak"
Shamhat says, "i'll anesthetize it"
Paramedic says, "umm..."
Merlisk says, "Hmm..."
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Devil says, "heh"
Mayo asks, "need a brick?"
Merlisk asks, "how are we gonna keep it still?"
Paramedic says, "It looks mad"
Shamhat says, "we could use these berries"
Bones says, "do not killthe patient, plase."
Rael the Squonk says, "I don't think it wants to be neutered."
Bones says, "do not kill the patient, please."
Mayo says, "lemme brick"
Paramedic says, "I think it's angry"
Shamhat asks, "is it male or female?"
(Merlisk looks)
Paramedic says, "It's enraged"
Rael the Squonk says, "Now you've done it."
CmdrGuard says, "Move along people"
(Shamhat administers the berries to anesthetize the cougar)
Merlisk says, "female"
mdrGuard asks, "What are you people doing?"
Shamhat says, "ok, it seems under to me"
Shamhat says, "we are practicing"
CmdrGuard says, "IT IS RABID"
Shamhat says, "surgery"
CmdrGuard says, "KILL IT KILL IT"
Merlisk says, "it doesn't look too sedated"
Paramedic says, "I would not call that sedate"
(Shamhat elbows Merlisk)
Merlisk says, "try again"
Shamhat says, "let me clean the area"
Merlisk says, "okie"
Paramedic says, "I recommend a #4 scalpel"
Merlisk asks, "Shamhat, will you be the first patient after this one?"
(Shamhat splashes whiskey on the undeside of the cougar)
Merlisk asks, "#4?"
Paramedic asks, "We're going to neuter Shamhat next?"
Merlisk says, "hmm..."
Shamhat says, "we are going to "fix" shadowpuss's litter"
Mayo exclaims, "your getting it mad!"
Shamhat says, "quick Merlisk"
Merlisk exclaims, "hold it still!"
Shamhat says, "before it wakes up"
(Merlisk jumps in and starts cuttin')
Paramedic says, "egad"
Shamhat says, "before SHE wakes up"
Merlisk exclaims, "doh!"
Merlisk exclaims, "It's a male!"
(Paramedic): Blood splashes everywhere
(Merlisk looks embarrassed)
Merlisk says, "okay..."
Undertow E'flei asks, "What's happening here?"
Mayo says, "I have an idea"
(Merlisk snips the...uh...offendin' part)
(Shamhat holds out a little jar for the specimens)
Paramedic asks, "You took off the whole thing?"
(Merlisk): It lives!
Undertow E'flei says, "Poor Artak."
Merlisk says, "just the danglin' things"
Paramedic says, "Oh"
ael the Squonk says, "Thooms neutering felines...typical thoom
arrogance."
Merlisk yells, "Behold the first neutered kitty!"
Tarf says, "Thoompocentricism"
Shamhat says, "Rael, shadowpuss's litter is enough"
Lint asks, "ewww thats what's going on?"
CmdrGuard says, "These thooms feel like they can talk to the animals"
Paramedic says, "I'm a doctor not a veterinarian"
Shamhat asks, "is that it, Merl?"
CmdrGuard says, "you don't say it like that"
Merlisk asks, "now what?"
Merlisk asks, "Is it supposed to keep bleedin' like that?"
Johan says, "wrestle it"
(Mayo wrestles the artak)
(Paramedic hands Merlisk a tourniquet)
(Shamhat puts some pressure on the bleeding area)
Merlisk says, "thank you"
(Merlisk applies the tourniquet)
Shamhat says, "looks fine to me"
(Paramedic hopes no one calls the Puddleby Humane Society)
Rael the Squonk says, "This is nitwittery."
Merlisk says, "Hmm..."
Shamhat exclaims, "the humane society is paying for this!"
Paramedic says, "Oh"
Merlisk ponders, "I think"
(Paramedic REALLY hopes no one calls the Puddleby Humane Society then)
(CmdrGuard calls the Puddleby Humane Society)
Johan says, "you guys!!"
CmdrGuard yells, "Puddleby Humane Society"
Mayo asks, "why don't we just kick it in the nads?"
Merlisk exclaims, "Hey, I did my best! Dangit! I'm a dentist!"
Shamhat says, "he's wiggling a bit"
Shamhat says, "Mayo, it no longer has any"
Merlisk says, "It's just agitated"
Merlisk yells, "The artak lived! Get Shadowpuss for the some real
spayin'!"

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Announcing...

The new CheaCrets Items Catalogue

<http://members.nbci.com/CheaCrets/clord/items/>

Find out about all the different items available to exiles!

Read it today!

Brought to you by Mac-arena

#####
FISHWRAP MAGAZINE TOP 10

Top 10 Indications You Are Probably A Thoom

10. When exiles walk up to you in town and say "Thoom," you know
exactly what they mean
9. You find nothing odd about assembling in formation with your friends
in town square
8. You think "hunting" means "standing behind a fighter and pushing
your moonstone into his or her back" (Oops, that's for Thoom healers
only)
7. You had fish for breakfast
6. Your name is Bones
5. You smell like the sea
4. You've suffered from throatsac inflammation in the past
3. You have no use for pants
2. Your peripheral vision is excellent
1. You feel an irresistable urge to conga

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

Fallen? In pain? Need a ride on a chain?

Contact Deadmeat's Chaining Services.

Currently serving all of Puddleby and Fire Islands. Ask for the South
Forest Special!

Deadmeat is a registered Catenae member, and a ThoomCare™ affiliated
chainer.

#####
CHARLOS' CORNER

This issue, Charlos conducts an investigative probe into Puddleby's
favorite exiles.

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Slyph laughs)
Shadowmist says, "I'm quite frightened, actually"
(Shadowmist shudders)
Shadowmist ponders, "Do I get any fish for this?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Shadowmist"
Charlos asks, "Shadowmist, who's your favorite healer?"
Shadowmist exclaims, "umm... certainly Crippler!"
Shadowmist says, "fine Thoom he is"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Shadowmist says, "hrmm... Ugh is an exceptional Zo"
Shadowmist asks, "ever seen Zo acrobatics before?"
Shadowmist exclaims, "Ugh is amazing!"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Shadowmist asks, "mysfit, eh?"
Shadowmist says, "hrmm... that's a hard one"
Shadowmist says, "they're all so...."
Shadowmist says, "....lovable"
Shadowmist says, "if I pick Aki everyone will get angry, of course"
Shadowmist says, "Sutai has some likable traits for certain"
Shadowmist says, "constant entertainment, that one"
Shadowmist asks, "do I have to pick one?"
Shadowmist says, "well, Sutai does seem to find the most interesting
places to fall"
Shadowmist says, "so I'll give him the award"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
---
Charlos says, "I'm here with WormTounge"
Charlos asks, "WormTounge , who's your favorite healer?"
WormTounge says, "I'm a healer.."
Charlos asks, "so... you?"
WormTounge says, "Guess so"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
WormTounge exclaims, "Charlos, of course!"
Charlos says, "8-)"
WormTounge ponders, "This is a bit rigged.."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.."
WormTounge exclaims, "Aki!"
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Pengy GM says, "Sure."
Charlos says, "I'm here with PengyGM"
Charlos asks, "PengyGM , who's your favorite healer?"
Pengy GM says, "I love them all."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Pengy GM says, "Any newbie who can still fallin the
hive."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Pengy GM says, "They all suck."
---
Odesseus says, "heh"
Odesseus exclaims, "sure!"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Odesseus"
Charlos asks, "Odesseus, who's your favorite healer?"
Odesseus says, "er toughie"
(Odesseus thinks hard)
Slyph ponders, "!"
(Kryll looms over Odesseus)
(Raiine winks)
DarqMax says, "Hehehe"
Odesseus ponders, "favorite healer... hmmmm...."
(Slyph shows some cleavage)
Kryll asks, "Raiine, right?"
DarqMax exclaims, "you can do it Ode!"
(Raiine wiggles her hips)
(Charlos drops his quill)
Odesseus says, "uhhhh...."
(Slyph shows some leg too)
(DarqMax laughs)
(Slyph scowls at raiine)
Ba'alzamon exclaims, "Bail out man!"
(DarqMax whistles!)
Odesseus says, "well, it would have to be Heccacia"
(Slyph grins)
(Raiine flicks her long blonde hair softly)
Charlos says "and your favorite fighter?"
Odesseus says, "oooo... nuther toughie... hmmm...."
DarqMax exclaims, "You can do it Ode!"
(Odesseus thinks hard)
Odesseus exclaims, "Uhhh.... Wyntir!"
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Slyph laughs)
Charlos asks, "brudda Luc?"
(Lucero grins.)
Lucero says, "damn this is a horrible day for me"
Charlos thinks, "need healer outside Rocky Cavern, east of Npass, for
Lucero is too fallen, he's "little" for Slyph"
Charlos asks, "mind answerin a couple questions brudda?"
Lucero has been fallen for some time because of a Grey Wyrm.
Slyph says, "hehe"
Charlos asks, "for the mag?"
Lucero says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Lucero"
Charlos asks, "Lucero, who's your favorite healer?"
Lucero says, "Sylph and the next healer to walk up..."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
(Slyph laughs)
Lucero says, "Hrm, that's a tough one."
Lucero says, "Let me see."
Lucero says, "I better say Natas or he'll kill me."
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
(Slyph smiles warmly)
Slyph says, "that was my answer too"
Lucero says, "I don't believe in Mystics."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
(Slyph grins)
You gave good karma to Lucero, 8-)
---
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Solas"
Charlos asks, "Solas, who's your favorite healer?"
Solas says, "hmm... that's a hard question"
Solas says, "there are too many good ones to pick from, but I think I
look up to thuja the most"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Solas says, "you of course ;p"
Charlos says, "8-)"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Solas says, "hmm... Malkor has helped me out the most while here"
---
Charlos asks, "Crunch, who's your favorite healer?"
Crunch says, "I suppose that's a very tough question... I guess I'd
have to go with my clanmate, Spirit."
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Crunch asks, "Does Darkus count?"
Charlos says, "sure, I guess, you can say whatever you want"
Crunch exclaims, "Darkus, then!"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Crunch says, "Hmm, since mystics suck, I'd go with the most amusing:
Sutai."
Prue says, "Prue don't do no Fishwrap interview 'less Paramedic is
here"
---
Marfisa exclaims, "Hi readers!"
(Marfisa waves.)
Marfisa says, "Well let's see."
Marfisa asks, "Should I choose on the basis of personality or skill?"
Charlos says, "heh"
Charlos asks, "Marfisa , who's your favorite healer?"
Marfisa asks, "I can only pick one?"
Charlos says, "ok, wait a sec"
Charlos says, "mull it over"
Charlos says, "beer right back"
(Charlos passes out in a drunken stupor)
(Marfisa considers throttling Charlos)
Charlos ponders, "Zzzzzz"
Yazza thinks to you, "naughty - putting her on the spot like that"
(Marfisa ties a cord around Charlos's neck)
(Dierdre drifts closer to hear the answer)
Marfisa ponders, "Hmmm"
Marfisa ponders, "Herm"
Charlos says, "ok"
Charlos says, "2 or 3 at most"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Charlos says, "spit it out"
Marfisa asks, "2 or 3?"
Charlos asks, "Marfisa , who's your favorite healer?"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Marfisa says, "Well, I would have to say Manx"
Marfisa says, "I like many healers, but a fellow fen would of course
win out"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Natas ponders, "Natas!"
Marfisa says, "Fighter hmm"
Charlos says, "that's great..."
Marfisa asks, "Besides me?"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Charlos says, "you can choose yourself"
Marfisa says, "I'm pretty wonderful."
Charlos ponders, "if you must"
Natas says, "heh"
Charlos says, "c'mon"
Charlos says, "speak your heart"
Charlos says, "quickly or the readers won't believe you"
Marfisa says, "But everyone knows I'm my favorite fighter"
Charlos says, "great"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Marfisa says, "Hmm Mysfit"
Natas says, "thats it Marf heckle the reporter"
Marfisa ponders, "Charlos sure as hell is no longer my favorite
fighter""
Marfisa says, "Raldin is my favorite mysfit"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
(Marfisa laughs.)
Dierdre says, "Not the same questions I hope"
(Dierdre smiles)
Charlos says, "yeap"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Dierdre"
Dierdre says, "Kei."
Charlos asks, "Dierdre, who's your favorite healer?"
Dierdre says, "Me"
Dierdre says, "and Yazza"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Dierdre says, "Koriel"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Dierdre says, "Not sure"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Yazza says, "sure why not"
Charlos asks, "Yazza , who's your favorite healer?"
Yazza asks, "hmmm... only one?"
Charlos says, "or 2 or 3"
Yazza says, "Dierdre, Dandelion, Travs"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Marfisa says, "Actually my favorite fighter is Pony but she not around
:("
Yazza says, "Kor'gah, Beam and Thwack"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Yazza says, "hmmm"
Yazza says, "not sure"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to answer
a couple questions?"
Beam says, "sure..."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Beam"
Charlos asks, "Beam , who's your favorite healer?"
Beam says, "Yazza, cause she never lets me down"
Charlos asks, "and your favorite fighter?"
Beam says, "Thwack, most generous guy i know"
Charlos asks, "your favorite mysfit?"
Beam says, "Raldin, he always makes me laugh"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Charlos ponders, "I won't win any journalistic awards for politeness"
Dierdre says, "Add Althea for favourite fighter too"
Marfisa says, "I'll change my answers now."
Yazza thinks to you, "you are one of my favorite exiles tho =-)"
Marfisa says, "Don't bother interviewing me if you don't print my
bull."

#####
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Paramedic says in Thoom, "blorf"
Paramedic says in Thoom, "ueerfp."
Tish says, "Paramedic is on the planet, and is of indeterminate
health."
(J'nder nudges Bones)
Bones says, "oh no"
Paramedic says in Thoom, "fwwwaft."
(Bones hands Para a throatsac lozenge)
(Bones hands Para his tea.)
(J'nder smiles.)
(Paramedic gobbles it)
Bones says, "have some tea"
J'nder ponders, "should I make a ThoomCare™ blend?"
(Paramedic coughs)
Paramedic says, "had a fish caught in my throatsac lengthwise"
Bones says, "ack"
Paramedic says, "I should not swallow them whole"
Bones says, "just the little ones"

ThoomCare™ reminds exiles to chew their food thoroughly

Brought to you by ThoomCare™
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
ELECTION RESULTS

#149: Should Elenis Reyav be banished from this isle for being an RQ
Spy?
7 (9%): Yes! get rid of those Pesky RQ spys! let us live at peace!
7 (9%): No! I Babajaga must have his handsome legs for myself! you must
not send him away please!
37 (45%): No, he does not deserve to be banished, and he is NOT an RQ
spy, so leave him alone
6 (7%): He is an RQ spy! get rid of him!!
10 (12%): None of the above
15 (18%): Abstain
#150: Whats your personal opion of Zephyrus?
2 (3%): I love him, he's the great friend I've ever had and if he ever
left I'd kill myself!
2 (3%): I hate him, way back when he was only 2 days old he bit people
and I can't handle changing so I still hate him!
21 (28%): This question is really stupid and I honestly don't give a
damn about Zephyrus and I'm probably just going to abstain!
22 (30%): I don't have an opinion but I like voting!
8 (11%): None of the above
19 (26%): Abstain

#####
THE TENEBRION REPORT
BY TYKING II

Last time, I brought an opinion. This time, I bring a grave warning.
Many of us have been informed of the crystal shards that have been
found at the keep. We exiles have not yet found out exactly what they
do, but Tenebrion has asked us to stay away from them. Many of us think
he says that because he doesn't like us taking things, and he's just
being a jerk.

Oh, how they are wrong! Tenebrion has been advising us against stealing
the crystals for the benefit of Puddleby! The crystal fragments are
VERY dangerous. They have awesome destructive power, enough to wipe out
all of Puddleby, and more! We need to keep these crystals AWAY from our
town. If you find a crystal, be sure to give it back to Tenebrion. Only
he can contain the destructive power it contains. If you keep it,
fairly warned are you, and anything bad that happens, is your own
fault.

TYKING II

#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

"Puddleby Fashion" by Althea the Sylvan
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles": LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tuan,
Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"