"Fishwrap Magazine: read it in the morning, wrap your leftover spriggin
slices with it in the afternoon"
Issue #24: Ghoti, Umbrion, Ziff Rengar
[December 3, 2000]
Circulation: 115

Note: Fishwrap Magazine is now available on the World Wide Webscrolly-
thingy.
<http://www.egroups.com/group/fishwrapmagazine>
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.
Check out the few Fishwrap logo, provided by Odesseus!

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of the Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Aki the Mystic: <http://aki.mindroot.net/>
* Speedier: <http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/4844/>
* Worg the Zo: <http://www.geocities.com/worgzo/>
* Clan Pogue Mahone: <http://www.poguemahone.org/>
* Odesseus the Fen: <http://www.roundspace.com/odesseus/>
* ThoomCare: Puddleby's only HMO:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084>

#####
THOOM HEADLINE NEWS
THE NEWS IN BRIEF FOR BUSY EXILES

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Exiles meet with Tenebrion again
- Negotiations continue
- A crystal was returned to Tenebrion
- Tenebrion has shattered 3 pendants while examining them
* Exile massacre in cave on Dal'Noth, many forced to depart

brought to you by Norm:
* Rumors fly of a new pathfinding trainer
* Sleipnir organizing search of the Greymyr Village for new paths
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
<http://members.aol.com/NormsDiary>

brought to you by Babajaga:
* Koric is missing
* Talking skeletons on Dal'Noth
* Algernon rescued from Dal'Noth
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary
<http://www.red-quill.com/babajaga>

#####
HELP WANTED

Fishwrap Magazine is still looking for a few more contributors,
reporters and advertisers. Advertising rates are quite affordable.
Your ad will be read by well over 100 exiles!

Contact Paramedic if you are interested.

#####
FEATURE INTERVIEW:
FIVE QUESTIONS WITH GHOTI THE MYSTIC

Ghoti exclaims, "Me?! Sure!"
Paramedic says, "Excellent"
(Ghoti giggles)
Paramedic says, "There are five questions to this interview."
Ghoti says, "okie"
Ghoti says, "5 is a lucky number"
Paramedic asks, "1) Can you tell our readers a little about your clan?"
Ghoti says, "Rua'n Famkul? We're a group of mysfits banded together for
mutual survival."
Ghoti says, "That means we go out and fall together ; )"
Paramedic asks, "All mystics?"
Ghoti says, "Nah, not all... just the lucky ones : )"
(Drax waves)
(Ghoti waves to Drax : ))
Paramedic asks, "around how many members?"
(Ghoti counts on her fingers silently.)
Drax says, "pardon me..."
Ghoti says, "about 20 something..."
Paramedic asks, "wow, a large clan?"
Paramedic says, "Hi Drax"
(Ghoti smiles at Drax, "Aye?")
Drax says, "I hope I'm not interrupting, but had a question..."
Paramedic says, "sure"
Ghoti says, "g'head : )"
Drax asks, "has the Sunstone salesman relocated?"
Ghoti says, "nope, he comes and goes."
Paramedic says, "no, he's just not in right now"
Drax says, "ah..."
Ghoti says, "here, or in south farms"
Drax asks, "where in south farms does he work?"
Ghoti says, "usually in the southeast corner"
Paramedic says, "south end, he just pops up"
Drax says, "ah..."
Drax says, "thank you, kindly :)"
Paramedic says, "anytime"
Ghoti says, "you bet : )"
(Drax smiles and waves)
Merrill thinks, "field hospital is open by your guest-thoom merrill :)"
(Ghoti smiles at Paramedic....)
Paramedic asks, "So it's a pretty large clan?"
Ghoti says, "Aye, we're kinda large."
Paramedic asks, "do you have clan meetings or functions?"
Ghoti says, "We have meetings whenever we get a couple or five members
together...."
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "and we have an unregistered pushball team called 'What
Conspiracy?'"
(Ghoti shows her tattoo)
Ghoti says, ": )"
Ghoti is a Human, is female, is a Journeyman Mystic, and is wearing the
symbol of The Rua'n Famkul.
She is holding a skristal and a log of wood.
(What Conspiracy?)
Ghoti has 72 good karma.
Paramedic asks, "So, um, what conspiracy?"
Ghoti says, "Yep, that's the name of the team : )"
Ghoti says, "our rally cry..."
Ghoti exclaims, "not in the head not in the head!"
Ghoti says, "We're still trying to figure out how to play... so we
haven't registered in the league yet."
Paramedic asks, "Is there a conspiracy?"
Ghoti says, "If I told you if there was a conspiracy, I'd have to kill
you : )"
(Paramedic nods)
[Lillia returns from some mystic task]
(Lillia sniffles.)
Lillia says, "I must've got 15+ right."
(Ghoti smiles at Lillia)
Paramedic asks, "Lillia, you ok?"
(Lillia doesn't think anything's there.)
Ghoti says, "it's a pain, that's for sure."
Paramedic asks, "So what do you see in the future for your clan,
Ghoti?"
(Lillia has another idea.)
Ghoti says, "Well Raldin is training to tune sunstones, so soon we'll
have that service to offer."
Paramedic exclaims, "Excellent!"
(Ghoti nodnods!)
Paramedic asks, "Does your clan have a scroll?"
Ghoti says, "Aye..."
(Ghoti tries to remember)
(Lillia thinks.)
Lillia ponders, "Puzzle there I think."
Ghoti says, "http://www.exthree.com/ral/index.html"
Paramedic says, "ok, one last followup..."
Paramedic asks, "does your clan have leaders or a council?"
Ghoti says, "Yes, Raldin is our clanlord, and we've got a Founders'
Council."
Ghoti ponders, "22 members ; )"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic asks, "Any problems within the clan?"
Paramedic asks, "everyone get along well?"
(Lillia sighs.)
Ghoti says, "What clan doesn't have problems? Nothing we can't survive
and grow from."
Paramedic asks, "Have members left the clan?"
Ghoti says, "Aye... hmmm.... 3 within the last year or so."
Paramedic says, "it seems many clans have had some internal problems
lately, that's why I ask"
(Ghoti nods, "I heard about Rising Claw's problems.)
Paramedic says, "others also...."
Paramedic says, "ok on to other matters"
(Lillia finds a seat.)
Ghoti says, "I've read some of this Chil'tak's writings and find them
interesting."
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Paramedic asks, "what did you find interesting?"
Ghoti says, "Well, just seems he laid out a good system of morals/
actions and such."
Paramedic says, "Many have found those appealing"
(Lillia goes to talk to Trainquilus... he knows something.)
Paramedic asks, "OK 2) How do you like being a mystic?"
Ghoti says, "Being a mystic sucks. : )"
Ghoti says, "no really."
Lillia ponders, "3) How do you become a mystic? ; )"
Paramedic asks, "really?"
Paramedic asks, "that bad, huh?"
Ghoti says, "The quest to become a mystic is HARD."
(Paramedic listens)
Lillia ponders, "VERY HARD!"
Lillia ponders, "MA'TA GIVES THE WORST HINTS!"
(Lillia hums.)
Paramedic asks, "so what are some good and bad things about being a
mystic?"
Ghoti says, "I almost strode off the path several times... if not for
my clanmates and friends like Neige ( Hi Neige!) I would be a fighter"
Paramedic says, "Interesting."
Ghoti says, "Aye"
Paramedic asks, "it can be frustrating?"
Ghoti says, "And aye, there's both good and bad, but I want to 'know',
so...."
Paramedic asks, "what are some good things about being a mystic?"
Ghoti says, "helping people by locating them, 20 questions is not a
blast, but works...."
Lillia ponders, "Whiffing things to death with wooden sticks?"
Ghoti says, "all the spiffy puzzles, though they can be a serious pain
sometimes too..."
Ghoti says, "I dunno, I just like to figure things out..."
Lillia ponders, "That bitch in there never gives a reward."
(Lillia points to the tree.)
(Ghoti grins at Lillia)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think mystics are becoming more powerful
slowly?"
Ghoti says, "very very slowly... but we'll never be as powerful as
fighters"
Lillia ponders, "Unless they all reset somehow."
(Lillia hums.)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
Lillia ponders, "When we hone our teleportation...."
(Lillia grins a wicked grin.)
(Lillia hums.)
(Ghoti giggles)
Paramedic asks, "Do you think that someday mystics will have powers we
have not seen yet?"
Lillia asks, "Me?"
Lillia says, "I do."
Ghoti says, "Oh! I'm sure of it! There's a lot more to this world then
we know yet."
Paramedic says, "either of you can answer"
Lillia says, "Definitely new boosts..."
(Lillia is certain horus will be here soon enough.)
Lillia says, "Who knows..."
Lillia says, "Maybe attack magic."
aramedic says, "wow"
Lillia ponders, "Shamen fireballs and the like."
Paramedic says, "that would be interesting"
Ghoti says, "heh"
Ghoti says, "Unlikely."
Lillia ponders, "Very...."
Ghoti says, "That sounds like Earth magic to me... we are tuned to the
Sun...."
Paramedic asks, "ok 3) what are your favorite places to hunt?"
Ghoti says, "Fire Island, currently."
(Lillia shudders.)
Ghoti says, "New North Forest...."
Lillia ponders, "Ebon scorpion hitted me last night there."
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "I like to hang out in the safe cave in the herpetid nest
too."
Ghoti says, "not hunting per se..."
Paramedic asks, "What do you think of those poisonous reptiles??"
Ghoti says, "They're trippy. I'll neither confirm nor deny that I've
licked my share. : }"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Ghoti says, "just seems like a nice dangerous area to hang out : )"
Ghoti shows her herpetid egg to everyone.
Paramedic says, "wow, nice egg"
Ghoti says, ": )"
Ghoti says, "I'm waiting for it to hatch ; )"
Paramedic says, "you should fry it up"
Lillia exclaims, "!"
Ghoti asks, "can you imagine the omlette?"
Paramedic says, "might be a nice omlette"
Paramedic exclaims, "yum!!"
Lillia ponders, "Poached rocks."
Paramedic asks, "where do you HATE to go hunting?"
Ghoti says, "Bet I'd be stoned for a week : )"
Ghoti says, "Orga camp"
(Lillia goes to GMV to get stoned.)
Paramedic asks, "don't like all those orgas?"
Ghoti says, "too much lightning flying arond there"
Lillia ponders, "Trippy giants...."
Ghoti says, "I don't like the badlands either"
Paramedic asks, "don't like all those orgas?"
Ghoti says, "Don't care for orga, no."
Paramedic asks, "why not the badlands?"
Ghoti says, "Badlands are dangerous what with the lawless ones out
there..."
Paramedic asks, "have you ran into evil exiles there?"
Ghoti says, "Aye.. I can't remember his name... an evil Fen..."
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Paramedic says, "sounds bad"
(Ghoti nodnods)
Paramedic asks, "4) what monster do you hate the most?"
Ghoti says, "Hmmm..."
(Ghoti thinks a moment)
(Lillia curses under hder breath.)
Paramedic asks, "how about you Lillia?"
Ghoti says, "Orga, the bigger the smellier"
(Lillia glares at the tree.)
Lillia asks, "What?"
Paramedic asks, "4) what monster do you hate the most?"
Lillia asks, "Me?"
(Lillia thinks.)
(Lillia wants to say vermine but would look stupid.)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
[A hunting party passes through the meadow.]
(Trystran D'Ark grins)
(Lillia thinks.)
Aldernon yells, "So long...and thanks for all the Fish!!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!""
(Ghoti waves at the Claws.)
Lillia asks, "Voolcan are cute?"
Lillia says, "No wait...."
Ghoti exclaims, "Voolkons are very cute!"
(Paramedic smiles)
Lillia says, "I like them."
(Lillia thinks more.)
Ghoti exclaims, "firewalkers!"
Lillia says, "I dislike Anarchy."
Paramedic asks, "firewalkers are bad, huh?"
Lillia says, "That is the biggest monster of all."
Lillia ponders, "Ha!"
Paramedic says, "hmmm"
Ghoti says, "Aye! You should have seen what they did to our FI hunt
yersterday. Sad indeed."
Lillia says, "I fell the first 5.5 times."
Lillia ponders, "And passed out four times."
Paramedic asks, "How about Noids?"
Ghoti says, "Never hunted them."
Ghoti says, "In fact, I think I've been in their cave once."
(Lillia can solo kegs.)
(Paramedic listens)
Ghoti says, "heheh"
Paramedic asks, "5) do you think Puddleby needs a government?"
Ghoti exclaims, "Aye!"
Lillia ponders, "Yes."
Paramedic asks, "oh?"
Paramedic asks, "why?"
Ghoti says, "We can survive, but not grow without a government."
(Lillia forgets she's not Ghoti.)
Paramedic says, "You can answer too Lillia"
Ghoti says, "I mean, look at the mess with Tenebrion..."
(Paramedic listens)
Lillia ponders, "Teney is a really nice guy."
Lillia ponders, "You just got to know him like I do...."
Ghoti says, "if we had a government, we could maybe bargain with him,
set treaties and such, as it stands..."
Ghoti says, "we don't have that ability... we can only act as
individuals"
Paramedic asks, "Have you met Tenebrion, Lillia?"
Lillia says, "Not in person... hehe."
(Paramedic nods)
(Lillia nods at Ghoti.)
Paramedic asks, "What did you think of Tarf's killing of Tenebrion's
guard?"
Lillia says, "No comment."
(Lillia is too tired to curse.)
Ghoti says, "Sad, really. I like Tarf, but he took unwarranted action."
Paramedic asks, "has it changed the way you think of Tarf?"
Ghoti says, "hmmm"
Ghoti says, "Not really, cuz I still like him. But it makes me wonder
what else might happen in the future... not just with him, but with
others..."
Ghoti says, "if the DA could do that..."
Paramedic says, "I see..."
Ghoti asks, "what else, you know?"
Paramedic asks, "so now you have questions about exiles that you did
not have before?"
Ghoti says, "Exiles in general. We need a government to help regulate
our populace"
Paramedic asks, "what was that Lillia?"
Lillia says, "Isn't the DA the only authority round here?"
Ghoti says, "Aye, and he acted outside the will of the people"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic asks, "any other thoughts on current affairs?"
Ghoti says, "If we had voted and the people said 'no peace with
Tenebrion' well, then he would have had the authority"
Ghoti ponders, "http://www.egroups.com/group/
Clan_Lord_Puddleby_Government"
Ghoti says, "join now."
Ghoti says, ": )"
Paramedic says, "Ah yes"
(Lillia likes the new sylvan poses....)
(Paramedic smiles)
Lillia ponders, "Especially /pose hairtoss."
Ghoti exclaims, "we'll see if the treaty with Tenebrion holds. I hope
so!"
Ghoti ponders, "heheh"
Paramedic says, "OK, now you are permitted to ask the Thoom one (1)
question."
Ghoti asks, "If you could have anything in the world, but only one
thing... what would it be?"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
Paramedic says, "good question"
(Paramedic thinks)
Ghoti says, "To phrase it another way 'What do you want?'"
Ghoti ponders, "for the B5 fans out there ; )"
Lillia ponders, "Thoom love...."
(Ghoti is not a Shadow!)
(Lillia predicts.)
Paramedic exclaims, "Our last best hope for peace!"
Lillia ponders, "Deeppp..."
(Ghoti grins at Paramedic)
Paramedic says, "I'd like to see Puddleby establish another town with
another temple"
Paramedic says, "and a new hospital"
Ghoti asks, "Ah! That would be interesting... perhaps the outpost is
that?"
Paramedic says, "or a place for a new hospital"
Lillia asks, "Does the NWF hospital have a sign yet?"
Ghoti asks, "Wher enew hospital you think?"
Paramedic says, "Well, the Outpost seems to be falling behind
schedule."
Paramedic says, "I'd like to see something here, for example, in the
meadow"
Ghoti says, "Ah yes! we raid the OC often enough : )"
Paramedic says, "and I'd like for exiles to be able to explore further
to the east"
(Lillia nods.)
Ghoti says, "I search the passes every once in a great while..."
Paramedic says, "I think we are beginning to get hemmed in"
Ghoti says, "there's GOT to be a way across"
Paramedic says, "and I'd like to see exploration beyond the passes"
Ghoti exclaims, "Aye!"
Ghoti says, "Me too : )"
Paramedic says, "So what I want is expansion for exiles and expansion
for ThoomCare, basically"
Ghoti exclaims, "Sounds like good goals to me!"
Paramedic says, "I'd also like to see some more people volunteer to be
contributors or reporters for Fishwrap"
Paramedic says, "A good magazine needs diverse voices"
Ghoti says, "And it is a good magazine : )"
Paramedic says, "Thank you. But it's too Paramedic-centric"
Ghoti asks, "maybe Koppi could help?"
Ghoti says, "spread the word, I mean"
Paramedic says, "yeah."
Paramedic says, "Thanks for a great interview Ghoti!"
Ghoti says, "Thank you! 8)"
You just received good karma from Ghoti, ><>
Ghoti says, "that's..."
Ghoti says, "gh-as in enough, o-as in women, ti-as in intuition"
Ghoti says, "; )"
(Paramedic smiles)
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
You gave good karma to Ghoti, thoom
Ghoti yells, "Thooom!"
Paramedic says, "Thank lillia for me too"
Ghoti says, "I shall : )"

#####
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#####
INTERVIEW WITH UMBRION, TENEBRION'S BROTHER

Fishwrap is proud to present the first interview by Tuan, who happened
to meet up with Umbrion at Tenebrion's Keep.

Exclusive Fishwrap pictures, prepared by Tuan
<http://www.egroups.com/files/fishwrapmagazine/Umbrion/>

Tuan asks, "Who's you?"
Umbrion says, "My name is Umbrion"
Tuan says, "I's thought I were gonna talk ta..."
(Tuan says very carefully)
Tuan says, "Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "He has acquired a new pendant and is examining it."
Tuan asks, "Is you his spokespersonage?"
Umbrion says, "He asked me to speak to you."
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan says, "Does ya speak fer..."
(Tuan speaks carefully)
Tuan says, "Tenebrion"
Umbrion says, "I speak for myself."
Tuan says, "okie doke"
Tuan says, "I's'd like ta great ya, den"
Tuan says, "Onna behalf o da Fishwrap magazine"
Tuan says, "An I assures ya o I's neutrality"
Umbrion asks, "Neutrality?"
Tuan says, "I's no citizen o Puddleby, I's from Lakeanaia"
Umbrion asks, "Another rat hole?"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Tuan says, "no, Lakeania isa grand empire"
Tuan says, "Large large, very rich"
Tuan says, "we far ta da north east o Puddleby"
Umbrion says, "I must consult my atlas then. I am unfamiliar with it."
(Tuan nods wisely (like he's seen Sleipnir do))
Tuan says, "isa big island"
Umbrion asks, "You have a castle?"
Tuan says, "So, okie"
Tuan exclaims, "Umm, 3!"
Tuan says, "I gots a summer castle"
Tuan says, "an a winter castle"
Tuan says, "an a ever'day use castle"
Tuan says, "an I buildin a summer home in purg, too"
Tuan says, "views der is great :)"
Umbrion asks, "In purg?"
Tuan says, "Purgatory, yaar"
Tuan says, "all open space, very quiet an peaceful like"
Tuan says, "But, Tuan gots questions fer ya"
(Tuan takes out a large notebook)
Tuan asks, "Is ya ready?"
(Umbrion makes a small flame dance in the palm of his hand.)
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "Okie, Tuan's first question, How you do dat?"
Tuan asks, "Wit da flame ting?"
Tuan asks, "An da dancin thereof?"
Umbrion says, "With magic of course."
Tuan says, "Oh, silly me"
Tuan says, "'course, 'course"
Tuan ponders, "umm"
Umbrion chants in an ancient language.
Tuan asks, "Okie, er, What relation is ya ta Teenybrain? Err, I mean
Tenebrion?"
Tuan asks, "Is ya his servant?"
Umbrion says, "Be careful."
Tuan asks, "Hum?"
Umbrion says, "I am not a servant."
Umbrion says, "He is one of my brothers."
Umbrion says, "The eldest but not the wisest."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "is ya also a necronomancer person?"
Umbrion says, "Necromancy is a waste of time."
Umbrion says, "A foolish diversion."
Tuan asks, "What kinds o magic does ya study?"
(Umbrion makes the flame in the palm of his hand flare up and
disappear.)
Tuan says, "oh"
Tuan says, "nother silly question, okie"
Umbrion chants in Ancient.
Tuan asks, "Umm, so how many odder brothers does ya got?"
Umbrion asks, "Why are you interested?"
Tuan says, "Is fer Fishwrap"
Tuan says, "Innerviewy thingie"
Umbrion says, "I do not see how my family concerns you."
Tuan says, "Peoples wants ta know, yer fascinatin, much more so den
dat...Tenebrion person"
Umbrion says, "I have five brothers."
Tuan asks, "an ya is da wisest o dem all?"
Umbrion asks, "How is "wisest" measured?"
Tuan says, "Err"
Tuan says, "Well, seems ya let yer brother Tenebrain do alla da work,
an ya
come in at yer leisure. Dat sound purty wise"
Umbrion says, "I am not interested in the affairs of your town."
Tuan says, "Ooo"
Tuan asks, "So yer here jus as a favor ta Teeny, er, Tenebrion?"
Umbrion says, "He wants those trinkets from you."
Umbrion says, "I told him he should go and take them."
Tuan says, "Yaar, prolly be easiest fer him"
(Tuan shrugs)
Umbrion says, "From Puddleby at least. I have not heard him mention
Lakeania."
Tuan says, "umm, Lakeania a water town. We no worry 'bout stuff wit
dead tings an purgatory"
Tuan says, "But um, back ta ya"
Tuan asks, "Is ya a sylvan?"
Umbrion says, "Not any more."
Tuan asks, "What is ya now, kin I ask?"
Umbrion says, "I have no name for what we have become."
Tuan asks, "Whyfor did ya stop bein sylvan? you no like it?"
Umbrion says, "You can call me a sylvan if it makes you comfortable."
Tuan says, "Er, okie"
(Tuan searches through his notebook)
Tuan asks, "Umm, what kinda hobbies does ya gots?"
(Umbrion looks impatient)
Tuan asks, "makin fire an stuff?"
Umbrion says, "And collecting stamps."
Tuan asks, "Have ya seen da Orga shamans throwin der fire at peoples?"
(Umbrion laughs.)
Umbrion exclaims, "That is not throwing fire!"
Tuan asks, "no?"
Tuan asks, "Kin ya show Tuan whatcha mean by dat?"
Tuan has fallen to a fireball.
Tuan exclaims, "eep!"
Tuan says, "er, okay"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Umbrion asks, "Like that?"
Tuan says, "dat were no very pyrotechnic, tho"
Tuan says, "I's mean, suresure, I's feel burnt down ta I's very
toes..."
Umbrion says, "The flames were not on this plane."
Tuan says, "Well, yaar, but it just, ya know, no all dat impressive,
'less yer me an inna lotta pain from it..."
Tuan says, "When Shaman throw fire, it go BOOM"
Tuan says, "Real purty like"
Umbrion says, "The power is lost that way."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan asks, "so yer rilly rilly wise, an conserve it like?"
Umbrion says, "I use the power to its fullest."
Tuan says, "I's gotcha"
(Tuan nods)
Tuan asks, "An ya say you no care 'bout Puddleby or Lakeania, right?"
Tuan asks, "you gonna jus keep ta yerself?"
Umbrion says, "I have no interest in either"
Tuan says, "Okie doke"
Tuan says, "Umm"
Tuan asks, "does ya support yer brother's interest?"
Umbrion asks, "His interest?"
Tuan says, "Like, if he say "I'm gonna attack Puddleby an git dat
pendant an
stuff," would ya help him"
Umbrion says, "If I had nothing better to do that day."
Tuan says, "Er"
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan asks, "Yer a healerer?"
Umbrion has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is not
wearing
the symbol of any clan.
He is holding a moonstone.
Umbrion says, "I know some healing arts."
Tuan asks, "Where didja git yer moonystone?"
Umbrion says, "I have owned it for many centuries."
Tuan asks, "Have ya ever bin ta Puddleby or dis island afore?"
Umbrion says, "I have never been to Puddleby."
Umbrion says, "I visit Tenebrion regularly."
(Tuan nods)
Tuan asks, "You know 'bout Purgatory?"
Umbrion says, "No. It sounds like a complete waste of my time."
Tuan says, "Okie doke"
Umbrion says, "Tenebrion tries to bore me with his research of it."
(Tuan nods)
Umbrion says, "He stops when I fireball him."
Tuan says, "ooo"
Tuan says, "dat sound like effective way ta end conversations..."
Tuan asks, "Where does ya git yer snazzy clothes?"
Umbrion asks, "My clothes?"
Tuan exclaims, "yaar!"
Tuan says, "Ya an yer brother gots neato black clothes, Tuan nebber
seen
anythin like em"
Umbrion says, "My tailor makes them for me."
Tuan says, "Ooo"
Umbrion says, "The cloth does not come from this plane."
Tuan asks, "does yer tailor do work for odder peoples too?"
Umbrion says, "If he is so instructed."
Tuan asks, "Umm, anyway Tuan could git a set o dose snazzy clothers?"
Umbrion says, "You have nothing I want."
Tuan says, "Oh"
(Tuan looks crestfallen)
Tuan says, "okie..."
Tuan says, "umm."
Tuan asks, "Anythin ya'd like ta say ta alla da fishwrap readerers out
der?"
Umbrion says, "They will not find me as forgiving and pleasant to those
who cross me as Tenebrion."
Tuan asks, "What does ya consider crossin ya?"
Umbrion says, "Stepping on my shadow, speaking out of turn, trespassing
on my lands."
Tuan says, "Umm"
(Tuan watches where he steps)
Tuan asks, "Where is yer lands?"
Umbrion asks, "Why would I tell you?"
Tuan says, "So I no trespass der"
Umbrion says, "If you see my Keep, leave immediately."
Tuan asks, "How will I's know its yers?"
Umbrion says, "Then perhaps pray you never find it."
Tuan says, "Er, okie"
Tuan asks, "Ya say pray...does ya pray ta anythin?"
Umbrion says, "My religious beliefs are not your business."
Tuan says, "Um, okie, fair 'nuff"
Umbrion asks, "Do you have anything else?"
Tuan says, "So ya say ya no interested ina stuff Tenebrain, er,
Tenebrion is.."
Tuan asks, "What is ya interested in?"
Umbrion says, "Privacy."
Tuan asks, "Dat all?"
Tuan asks, "Ya not got no odder interests?"
Umbrion says, "Tenebrion insists your scholars will be of use to us one
day. I do not believe him."
Tuan says, "Hum"
Tuan says, "If, by some weirdo chance, we was o use ta ya..."
Tuan asks, "would ya also share stuff ya know wit us? Would ya
reciprocated tings?"
(Umbrion looks doubtful)
Umbrion asks, "Can a rat be of use to you? Would you share with it?"
Tuan says, "Err, I's hear dey likes cheese..."
Tuan asks, "squeek?"
Tuan says, "Um"
Umbrion says, "The sun has set. I must leave."
Umbrion says, "I have observations to make."
Tuan says, "Okie"
Tuan says, "Tuan would like ta tank ya"
Tuan says, "On behalf o Fishwrap"
Tuan says, "an Lakeania"
Tuan exclaims, "Tanks!"
Tuan ponders, "I tink"
(Tuan offers his hand to shake)
(Umbrion looks at Tuan's hand.)
Tuan asks, "Um?"
Umbrion says, "Do not touch me."
Tuan says, "Er, okay. Sorry"
(Tuan withdraws his hand)

#####
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#####
EXILE PROFILE: ZIFF RENGAR
INTERVIEWED BY SENIOR REPORTER CRIPPLER THE THOOM

Thoom!
This month I bring you a interview with the mighty dwarven fighter Ziff
Rengar of the Emperor Mobius's Inquirers clan. I met him while he was
hunting in the rocky cavern. I'm still trying to figure out how he was
able to register his clan.

Crippler asks, "What is it like being in a one man clan?"
Ziff Rengar says, "freedom of course"
Ziff Rengar says, "you have your own rules, own moral code"
Crippler asks, "Is it a bonus getting all of your clan experience back
to yourself?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I don't know about that"
Ziff Rengar says, "some say the exp I get back is the exp I temporarily
lost"
Crippler asks, "If you had to join another clan, which one would it
be?"
Ziff Rengar says, "hmm"
Ziff Rengar says, "I'd go in BoI"
Ziff Rengar says, "brotherhood of independents"
Crippler asks, "any other clans ever ask you to join them?"
Ziff Rengar says, "oh, that's another thing when you are in a one-man
clan"
(Crippler takes note)
Ziff Rengar says, "no one ever asks you to join their clan if you
already are in 1 :D"
Crippler says, "I see"
Crippler says, "that's true"
Ziff Rengar says, "I've spent a long time in BoI"
Crippler says, "Oh"
Crippler says, "I did not know that"
Ziff Rengar is a Dwarf, is male, is a Fighter, and is wearing the
symbol of the Emperor Mobius's Inquirers.
He is holding an axe.
(He invented the sober dwarven fighting style.)
Ziff Rengar says, "the rat bastards asked me"
Ziff Rengar says, "I was tempted, but I prefered not to"
Crippler asks, "would you ever consider having another exile join your
clan?"
Ziff Rengar says, "of course not, everyone in my clan is 4th circle, it
would ruin it :D"
Crippler says, "heh"
Crippler says, "there recently has been discussion about hunting on
Noth...."
Cronos ponders, "Dal'Noth Isle"
(Cronos shudders.)
Crippler says, "some say that superfighters exclude others from hunting
there"
Crippler asks, "do you feel that this is the case?"
Ziff Rengar says, "hmm"
Ziff Rengar says, "we dont want to have everyone in the hunt"
Ziff Rengar says, "in order to remain a good and fun hunt, we keep a
small group"
Ziff Rengar says, "so we usually pick the best"
Ziff Rengar says, "the ones that have proven their skills, our friends"
Cronos ponders, "I'm not best :)"
Cronos ponders, "He still invites me. ;)"
Crippler says, "what skills do you recomend to be a effective fighter
there."
Ziff Rengar says, "we do not hunt only with superfighters"
Ziff Rengar says, "on dalnoth, as a healer, the built in requirement is
usualy 3rd circle at least"
(Crippler nods)
Ziff Rengar says, "because it usualy means the person has enough
faustus to not be useless and some higgrus to not die"
(Cronos chuckles.)
Cronos ponders, "Me...die..heh heh."
Ziff Rengar says, "but for a fighter, we can invite 2nd circle fighters
if they have 150 atkus"
Crippler says, "aye, I always thought that healers should not try to
tag when on noth"
Crippler says, "too risky"
Ziff Rengar says, "it depends of the situation"
Ziff Rengar says, "wise healers know what to do"
Ziff Rengar says, "dumb ones do stupid things, and are not being
invited again :)"
Ziff Rengar says, "not saying that no one can make a mistake"
Ziff Rengar says, "but those who cant even see they've made a mistake
are usualy not invited"
Crippler asks, "as a 4th circle fighter, what area's still give you
trouble?"
Ziff Rengar says, "on dalnoth you never know"
Ziff Rengar says, "there are 3 dangerous places"
(Crippler listens)
Ziff Rengar says, "the passes and the lake"
Ziff Rengar says, "you never know what will happen there"
Ziff Rengar says, "an army of feralish dalnoths can appear and attack
healers"
Ziff Rengar says, "or you can get trapped by tons of wendecka and have
a vel shooting you"
Crippler asks, "What is your favorite weapon these days?"
Ziff Rengar exclaims, "the axe!"
Crippler asks, "trusty axe eh?"
Ziff Rengar says, "since I can hit everything easily there, I don't
need a weapon with less darkus"
Crippler says, "I see"
Ziff Rengar says, "I use it for it's darkus bonus, which isn't my
specialty"
Crippler says, "let's talk about some current events"
Crippler says, "..."
Crippler says, "I remeber that when Tarf killed Tenebrion's guy..."
Ziff Rengar says, "I was there"
Crippler says, "you were quite critical of him..."
Ziff Rengar asks, "was I?"
Ziff Rengar says, "oh"
Crippler says, "Do you still feel the same way"
Ziff Rengar says, "you got me wrong"
Crippler says, "I thought you were"
Ziff Rengar says, "i was being sarcastic"
Crippler says, "I see"
Ziff Rengar says, "actualy I didn't really care about that, but I found
it useless for them to curse Tarf without letting him explain"
Ziff Rengar says, "I am sure many people reconsidered their postion
about tarf's behavior"
Ziff Rengar says, "but before doing so, they Bk bombed him"
Crippler says, "yes"
Ziff Rengar says, "I think karma solves no problems"
Ziff Rengar says, "it's not needed"
Crippler says, "I felt that a riot was about to happen"
Crippler asks, "Do you trust Tenebrion?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I dont trust him more than anyone who isnt a close
friend"
Ziff Rengar says, "he never did anything bad to me"
Ziff Rengar says, "he never helped me"
Ziff Rengar says, "so i cant really comment"
Crippler asks, "do you think that he's being honest with the exiles?"
Crippler says, "in his intentions"
Ziff Rengar says, "I think he has no reason to be honest with us tho,
he doesn't care for us
Crippler says, "last question"
Crippler asks, "what is in the future for you?"
Crippler asks, "any special plans?"
Ziff Rengar says, "I plan to eventualy become independent from
puddleby"
Ziff Rengar says, "that would require the support of some friends of
mine, having a ledger for every trainers"
Crippler asks, "what do you mean by independent?"
Crippler asks, "stop using the town folks?"
Ziff Rengar says, "to eventualy live in another island"
Ziff Rengar says, "yep"
Crippler says, "ahhh"
Ziff Rengar says, "training on our own"
Crippler asks, "why would you want to leave this island?"
Ziff Rengar says, "having our way, not being considered exiles anymore"
Ziff Rengar says, "as long as we live in the emperor's town, we are HIS
exiles"
Crippler says, "yes"
Ziff Rengar says, "and the sentinel is there to prove it"
Crippler asks, "would you want to form a government on this island?"
Ziff Rengar says, "never"
Ziff Rengar says, "no one here should have power over me"
Crippler says, "aye"
Ziff Rengar says, "here on this island"
Crippler says, "I dig that"
Ziff Rengar says, "since we are all exiles"
Crippler says, "if there is something you would like to say"
Ziff Rengar says, "Crippler, if I could give an advice for the whole
community"
Crippler says, "sure"
Crippler says, "go ahead"
Ziff Rengar says, "in the world we live in, I say we must not believe
what people say, we must see things with our own eyes"
Ziff Rengar says, "Crippler, many people can say many things, but
nothing can be proved here"
Ziff Rengar says, "believing what one says can lead you to a wrong
conclusion"
(Crippler takes note)
Ziff Rengar says, "I wont give any personal exemples on the subject"
Crippler says "thank you Ziff and good luck"

#####
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#####
COMING SOON TO THE FISHWRAP

Exclusive interview with Tere the Witch
"Inside the Dentist's Chair" with Merlisk the Thoom
"Ask Auntie Prue"
"Animals Eating Exiles": LONG AWAITED FEATURE ARTICLE
"Seafood Specialties" by Bones the Thoom

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by Para Publishing (part of the
ThoomCare network)
Publisher and Editor: Paramedic
Staff:
Senior reporter: Crippler
Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Charlos, Prue, Slyph, Tuan,
Tyking II

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking
for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap
Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his
scroll:
<http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/2084/>

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"