Note: forwarded message attached.
John was waiting for his love....
"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5
mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"
"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and
stuff .... oh there she is"
"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.
"OK I will try"
Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey ...
I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"
"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain .... "she
would have had a nervous breakdown"
John ignored his brain .. "Its OK honey .. its only half an hour .. no problem"
She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember
what occasion is today"
"OMG!!!", thought John .....
"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly
anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"
Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different
parts ... parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete
memory scan.
Sheetal stared at John .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2
minutes now ... u OK?"
"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"
"No records found", said the brain ...
"Damn!!", thought John
"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.
John is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?". said the brain
"OK OK ...stop pushing me"
"Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT T!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" , she shouted ... and started crying.
"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"
"!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"
A moment of silence.
His entire brain staff was laughing at him.
John was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.
"Damage control sequence initialized ... dont worry our specialist
will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
"Better do it fast ..brainy"
The brain was working at 90% capacity ..... gathering and analyzing all
data on 'How to handle women?'
Finally an answer was computed and communicated to John.
He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggie's birthday
... how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"
She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"
She stood up angrily and left.
John and his brain were left there clueless ....
"Ah! screw u guys .. I'm going home", said his brain and left.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Lover Girl
On August 7 , 2009
At 12hr 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 7th of August this year, the time and
date will be
12:34:56 07/08/09
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
This will never happen in your life again??!!!!
FORWARD THIS MAIL PLEASE
Amaze your friends..... be the first 2 tell them.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Lover Girl
Success To A Happy Married Life..
Love Reading? Click here to Join Group...
A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had
shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except
that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that
she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one
day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would
not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoe box and took it to his wife ' s bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money
totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the
secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I
ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness.
"Honey," he said "that explains the doll, but what about all of this
money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh, that?" she said. "That is the money I made from selling the dolls." : )
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
A married couple in their early 60s was
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little
restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared
on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married
couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will
grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel
around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! -
two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this
is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come
again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a
wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply
disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and
poof!..the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful
should remember....fairies are female too.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Payal
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol.
This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the
hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving!"
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Note: forwarded message attached.
The Winner Of The Dog Obedience School
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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My Dear Friends
May the friendship between us always be:
As beautiful as the snow on the hills,
As deep as the ocean so blue,
As warm as the summer sun.
And with everyday something new
As we share a thought or smile,
An idea, a book or star.
No matter what the distance
Be it close or very far.
A friend for life I will be
And this comes from the heart
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My Dear Friends
May the friendship between us always be:
As beautiful as the snow on the hills,
As deep as the ocean so blue,
As warm as the summer sun.
And with everyday something new
As we share a thought or smile,
An idea, a book or star.
No matter what the distance
Be it close or very far.
A friend for life I will be
And this comes from the heart
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
Good Morning
Don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup
Rain becomes more enjoyable if it follows a sunny day
Food become more relishing if for days Hungary you stay
So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup
Gold becomes beautiful ornament by molding and heating
Marble becomes beautiful status by carving and beating
So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup
Pebble becomes smooth by constant rolling
Pencil becomes usable by sharpening
So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup
Keeps Smiling and Mailing
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
Funny Matrimonial Ads (Real Fun)
These are ads taken from actual matrimonial sites - guys searching for brides.
Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is
straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your
basic grammar after reading this.....
*****
hello.... My name Arthi..... I am a good characterized woman. I want to run my
life happily. I expect the good minded and clean habits boy to marry me soon....
who may be in the same caste . If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my
home (Ghar Chale aana........???)
*****
Hello, To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have female, I am not
a good education but i working all field in Bangalore.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks yours Regards Shekhar
*****
I want very simple girl. from Brahmin educated family from orissa state she is
also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)
*****
Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never
create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run
smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
*****
She should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one
brother and one sister. she should be educated. (ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1
sister criteria !)
*****
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to
make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my
dream girl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think
that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale
dulhaniya effect)
*****
I am simple boy. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am
looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot (I don't know why but this is
one of my favorites)
*****
My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in
KSBKBT...... (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding
too much,ain't he?)
*****
I want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while
stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast (by not wearing her
jeans? Wat the hell...)
*****
HYE I AM A GOOD LOOKING BOY ,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LAUGH'S
BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.
THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2.
THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFESSION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I
WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LAUGH. (all of us are loughing{laughing})
*****
Whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride
and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be
called the woman of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me
what this boy wants)
*****
I love my partner i marriage the partner ok i search my partner and i love the
partner ok thik hai the partner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I
liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
*****
HI I AM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE TV AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1
BOWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK (the "ok syndrome" again)
*****
I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother sister
complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)
*****
I am very simple and honest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam
doing postal service and tailor master my original residence at kalahandi diste
naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this guy doing? Postal
service or tailor.??)
*****
My name is muhamad and i am unmarried. please you marriage me please please
please please please please please (height of desperation! J )
*****
I want one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartily or she have frank
she's skin color 'normal' not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is
heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome
guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already
expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye. (uttama purushan)
*****
Iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. (No comments)
*****
I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant
BAD habits)
*****
My color is black, but my heart is white. I like social service (Zebra..???)
*****
I'm looking out for who lives in Bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be
roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
*****
To be married on jun-2006. working woman preferable (this guy has fixed the
marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride. I wish him best of luck on
behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)
*****
I would like a beautiful girl. and I do not want her any treasure. because girl
is the maharani. (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
*****
ssc failed three times and worked with private ltd company which not paying
salary at present. (Any takers again?)
*****
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
HOW FRIENDSHIP BREAKS ?
Both Friends Will Think The Other Is Busy
And Will Not Contact Thinking It May Be Disturbing
As Time Passes
Both Will Think Let The Other Contact
After That each Will Think Why I Should Contact First ?
Here Your friendship Will Be Converted To Hate
Finally Without Contact The Memory Becomes Weak
They Forget Each Other.
So Keep In Touch With All And Pass This TO
All Your Friends...
I Don't Want To be One Of This Kind.
So Here I Am sending Mail
To Say
Please keep in touch.
JOIN OUR SWEET LOVELY GROUP
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
Funny Matrimonial Ads (Real Fun)
These are ads taken from actual matrimonial sites - guys searching for brides.
Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is
straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your
basic grammar after reading this.....
*****
hello.... My name Arthi..... I am a good characterized woman. I want to run my
life happily. I expect the good minded and clean habits boy to marry me soon....
who may be in the same caste . If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my
home (Ghar Chale aana........???)
*****
Hello, To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have female, I am not
a good education but i working all field in Bangalore.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks yours Regards Shekhar
*****
I want very simple girl. from Brahmin educated family from orissa state she is
also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)
*****
Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never
create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run
smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
*****
She should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one
brother and one sister. she should be educated. (ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1
sister criteria !)
*****
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to
make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my
dream girl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think
that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale
dulhaniya effect)
*****
I am simple boy. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am
looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot (I don't know why but this is
one of my favorites)
*****
My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in
KSBKBT...... (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding
too much,ain't he?)
*****
I want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while
stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast (by not wearing her
jeans? Wat the hell...)
*****
HYE I AM A GOOD LOOKING BOY ,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LAUGH'S
BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.
THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2.
THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFESSION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I
WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LAUGH. (all of us are loughing{laughing})
*****
Whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride
and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be
called the woman of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me
what this boy wants)
*****
I love my partner i marriage the partner ok i search my partner and i love the
partner ok thik hai the partner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I
liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
*****
HI I AM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE TV AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1
BOWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK (the "ok syndrome" again)
*****
I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother sister
complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)
*****
I am very simple and honest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam
doing postal service and tailor master my original residence at kalahandi diste
naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this guy doing? Postal
service or tailor.??)
*****
My name is muhamad and i am unmarried. please you marriage me please please
please please please please please (height of desperation! J )
*****
I want one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartily or she have frank
she's skin color 'normal' not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is
heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome
guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already
expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye. (uttama purushan)
*****
Iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. (No comments)
*****
I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant
BAD habits)
*****
My color is black, but my heart is white. I like social service (Zebra..???)
*****
I'm looking out for who lives in Bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be
roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
*****
To be married on jun-2006. working woman preferable (this guy has fixed the
marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride. I wish him best of luck on
behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)
*****
I would like a beautiful girl. and I do not want her any treasure. because girl
is the maharani. (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
*****
ssc failed three times and worked with private ltd company which not paying
salary at present. (Any takers again?)
*****
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
CAN U BEAT THIS RESUME !
RESUME
EDUCATION /Qualification:
1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh ,
1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Punjab University , Chandigarh ,
1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College,
Cambridge,
1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge ,
1957; DPhil ( Oxford ), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India 's export
competitiveness
OCCUPATION /Teaching Experience :
Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;
Reader, Economics, 1959-63;
Professor, Economics, Punjab University , Chandigarh , 1963-65;
Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics, University of
Delhi,1969-71 ;
Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University ,New Delhi,1976 and Delhi School
of Economics, University of Delhi ,1996 and Civil Servant
Working Experience/ POSITIONS :
1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance
1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India ;
Director, Industrial Development Bank of India;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, BIRD
November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of
economic affairs);
Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space Commission
April 1980 - September 15, 1982 : Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman , India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee
September 16, 1982 - January 14, 1985 : Governor, Reserve Bank of India .
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India , Board of governors, International
Monetary Fund
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister
1985: President, Indian Economic Association
January 15, 1985 - July 31, 1987 : Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 19! 90: Secretary-general and commissioner,
south commission, Geneva
December 10, 1990 - March 14, 1991 : Advisor to the Prime Minister on economic
affairs
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991 : Chairman, UGC
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996 : Union finance minister
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance
August 1, 1996 - December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on
commerce
March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha
June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance
August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges 2000 onwards: Member, executive
committee, Indian parliamentary group
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee
BOOKS:
India 's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -
Clarendon Press, Oxford University , 1964; also published a large number of
articles in various economic journals.
OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge , 1956
Padma Vibhushan, 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994
INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS:
1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on
International Monetary Reform
1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human Rights World
Conference, Vienna
RECREATION :
Gymkhana Club, New Delhi; Life Member, India International Centre,
New Delhi
PERSONAL DETAIL:
Name: Dr Manmohan Singh
DOB: September 26, 1932
Place of Birth: Gah ( West Punjab )
Father: S. Gurmukh Singh
Mother: Mrs Amrit Kaur
Married on: September 14, 1958
Wife: Mrs Gursharan Kaur
Children: Three daughters
Our Indian Prime Minister seems to be the most qualified PM all over the world..
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